The OJ Simpsons #1 - If I Did It

I'm going to be on a sort of tight schedule this coming week so my DUFUing will be extremely limited. However, just to keep you laughing I will be posting whatever strikes my fancy as both FUnnie and creative. And this cartoon, The OJ Simpsons #1 - If I Did It sure fits in that category. Yeah, yeah, I know it is in a bit of poor taste yet it is quite hilarious (and truthful) at the same time. This was only the first episode in this series and you can see more episodes of The OJ Simpsons over at YouTube.

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OJ Simpson, Bart Simpson, Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons

Pied Piper Pitt Day Essay Contest

I'm the place where celebrity worship goes to die. ---William Rivers Pitt

It is just 24 business hours away from May 12 ---Pied Piper Pitt Day. Yes, I know there are at least a couple of other dates that could qualify as Pied Piper Pitt day such as June 16, the Day When Everything Finally Changed. That was the date in 2005 when William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt helped organized a rally in Lafayette Park in Washington, D.C. to protest about something to do with the now totally forgotten Downing Street Memos followed by a non-authorized Congressional hearing that tanked the moment some nutcase witness opened his mouth. Then there was the day in September of that same year when Pitt made a big hoopla of helping organize an anti-war demonstration in D.C. (Disclaimer: Pitt never ever had anything to do with the sponsors of that demonstration, the Communist A.N.S.W.E.R. organization even though they controlled the entire agenda.) Unfortunately, it never made it onto the TV news because hurricane Rita hit Texas that same day. However, the date of May 12 seems to have become strongly associated with Pitt due to his bold claim last May that Karl Rove had already been indicted by Patrick Fitzgerald. It was not only this claim but also the widespread acceptance of it that has entered political lore as one of the biggest but most hilarious blunders of all time. Even Hillary Clinton and the Michigan Democrats cheered the "news" of Rove's indictment when it was announced. Therefore this year and in all subsequent years, May 12 shall be Pied Piper Pitt Day.

I worked for a litle while as the Kucinich Press Secretary during the '04 run, as some of you might recall. Thanks to a variety of outside and internal circumstances, combined with my own utter lack of experience and what has to be called my rank incompetence in a position I had no grounding for, I am pretty sure you can pen me into The Book as the Worst National Campaign Press Secretary In The History Of All Known Universes.

In honor of the first Pied Piper Pitt Day celebration, I hereby announce a Pied Piper Pitt Day Essay Contest. The prize goes to whoever writes the best Pitt parody essay. The deadline for the entries is May 12 and there is a 100,000 word limit on the essays. Entries should be posted either here on the Blog or over on this Free Republic DUFU thread. The winner will receive a DUmmie FUnnies T-Shirt. I had been planning to put out a line of DUmmie FUnnies T-shirts later this summer but I will either up the T-shirt printing date or have a special DUmmie FUnnies shirt embroidered for the essay contest winner.

I have been told a thousand times at least, in the years I have spent reporting on the astonishing and repugnant abuses, lies and failures of the Bush administration, to watch my back. "Be careful," people always tell me. "These people are capable of anything. Stay off small planes, make sure you aren't being followed." A running joke between my mother and me is that she has a "safe room" set up for me in her cabin in the woods, in the event I have to flee because of something I wrote or said.....In case I disappear, remember this. America is an idea, a dream, and that is all. We have borders and armies and citizens and commerce and industry, but all this merely makes us like every other nation on this Earth. What separates us is the idea, the simple idea, that life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are our organizing principles. We can think as we please, speak as we please, write as we please, worship as we please, go where we please. We are protected from the kinds of tyranny that inspired our creation as a nation in the first place.

So how should you prepare for this essay contest? My recommendation is that you carefully study (after drinking several pots of coffee to stay awake) the overlong writings of Pitt as chronicled here in the DUmmie FUnnies. To parody the Pied Piper Pitt style you need to imitate Pitt with his overly wordy, pompous, self-righteous, self-pitying, contradictory, narcissistic, and dull yet with hilarious flashes of unintentional humor rantings. Perhaps the classic Pitt post in this regard was his Hockey Puck geopolitical thesis about the rise of the Third American Empire:

It is difficult to pinpoint exactly when the third American empire came into being, but a hockey game will suffice as a marker. On February 2, 1980, the American Olympic hockey team came from nowhere to defeat the unbeatable Soviet squad in Lake Placid. The subsequent eruption of nationalistic fervor, augmented by the American squad’s victory over Finland in the final round to capture the gold medal, led to an outpouring of public emotion that no sporting event had ever created.....It was at Lake Placid that the now-familiar chant of “U.S.A.! U.S.A.!” was born. The American people had been well-trained during the second empire to expect being on top, and the years prior to Lake Placid had been hard. Something so simple as a win on that ice was enough to strike sparks again, to ignite the long fuse that has been this third American empire. The American people were mesmerized by the vision of their flag rising next to but just a little higher than the red Soviet banner. It was their first taste of what would become a long and uninterrupted stretch of total global dominance.

Should you not care to spend a lot of time to hunt down Pitt's many writings, then you can access a wealth of Pitt material simply by checking out his partial birth "apology" for perpetuating the May 12 Karl Rove indictment scam at Pied Piper Pitt Performs Endless "Penitence" At DUmmie Canossa. Believe me, there are VOLUMES of endless Pitt material just in that one post. As soon as you think he is done, Pitt opens up with yet more chapters of his self-pitying rant. Here is just one brief excerpt from that endless Pitt post:

I have been here for a long time. I started here exactly like just about everyone else: I staggered in the front door, found a roomful of like-minded people, and said "Oh thank God." I used this place to vent, to unwind, to get unhinged, to get informed, to inform where and when I could, to sharpen my debating skills, to void my bladder on the occasional invading Freep...but at the beginning and the end, I posted here to be with and to plan with and to commiserate with people who saw the same writing on the wall I did..... Somewhere in the last couple of years, I became a name. I worked very hard to make that happen, to be sure. 18 hours a day, 350,000 miles across to and from pretty much every state in the nation...hell, we all started here wanting to do something about what was happening, and I did my small part to take up that call, and in the process managed to become a writer and a speaker that others looked to. I wouldn't be doing *any* of this, probably, if it wasn't for DU. I decided to try to do something, and managed to work myself into a position where I could..... The sticky part came when I forgot that I could no longer be "just another DUer" and couldn't let fly whenever I chose. You know what I mean, because if you've spent any time here, you've done this. Yes, you have. You get angry about the news, the state of things, some Democratic failure to act, and maybe you get a glass of wine into you, and you flame away on the keyboard...and then come back the next day hoping nobody remembers or gives a damn that you were throwing haymakers and acting the fool..... The stickier wicket, aw hell, let's be honest and call it the stickiest wicket, came when I posted the truthout story that Karl Rove had been indicted. Another thread in big block letters..... For clarity: Truthout stands by this story, today as yesterday, as described on the blog page. Period, end of file. I am not speaking for them in any official capacity, because this is a personal thread, but I can read the TO blog as clearly as you can. If you want more than that, consult an astrologist, or talk to someone besides me. Read the first sentence of this paragraph again if further clarity is required on the basic premise.

The key to winning the Pied Piper Pitt Day Essay Contest is to put yourself into the mind of Pitt. The best way to do this is to not sleep for several days, consume several pitchers of beer, and then make your post entry at about three in the morning when you are in a very bad and/or morose mood. And just as musicians and singers briefly tune up their instruments or voices before making their performances, feel free to post just a few sentences of Pittiana here before your final entries. Oh, and one of your mericifully brief practice posts might actually be a winner since there is no limit on the number of entries you can make. However, due to space and time requirements I am going to have to be firm on the 100,000 word limit. Difficult as it may be when doing a Pitt parody, please confine your entries to that length limitation. So stand up next to a mountain and start posting your entries for the Pied Piper Pitt Day Essay Contest!

I am about to crack 30,000 posts. I've been here since May of 2001. I have gone through a hundred evolutions in that time, regarding candidates, priorities, beliefs, hopes, fears, personal issues - had a marriage blow up on me while I was here, and the agony of that lasted more than a year - etc..... Look. I'm just another activist who happens to write well enough to get a message through. At some point I crossed a terminator and became a 'personality' here, and out there. For a long, long time, I fought it. I just wanted to post like any other DUer, to vent my spleen like anyone else and to be obnoxious like anyone else and to be contradictory like anyone else. This place was myIn the last year I have forced myself to understand that I can't do that anymore, and believe me, it has been hard. When I came here, I was NOBODY, just another poster needing help and support. Sometimes I fail at it these days, but not nearly as much. You are right to say that I have been an ass here on many occasions, but a lot of people here are asses on many occasions, yourself included. I didn't want to deal with the added burden. I hope that makes sense. security blanket, where I could freak out (!!!!111) and enjoy the catharsis.....

And one final tip when writing your entries. Please keep in mind that Pied Piper Pitt is always auditioning himself, whether for acclaim from his fellow DUmmies or for some candidate for whom he desperately wants to be a player. So if you add that ulterior motive to the equation, it will definitely help in writing that winning entry. And don't forget--- You must keep your entries to less than 100,000 words.

“'Barack The Magic Negro' Plays on Rush. And he is still on the air?"

I KNEW this would happen but not quite so quickly. A few days ago, Rush Limbaugh was talking about how Liberals simply cannot figure out his show. Most of them don't even listen to it and get their information about his broadcasts second- or third hand from biased sources such as Media Matters with absolutely no sense of humor nor context. The hilarious example that Rush provided was the case of former Congresswoman Pat Schroeder who, after Rush JOKED that he would give his mother a can opener to open up cans of pet food to eat, got up in the floor of congress to denounce the insensitivity of Rush. Yes, Pat Schroeder was so CLUELESS as to believe that Rush made this can opener proposal in all seriousness. Her problem, like a lot of other Liberals is that they don't actually LISTEN to Rush thus they get everything out of context, usually with all the humor removed. Later in the show, I heard Rush play a parody song called "Puff The Magic Negro" supposedly sung by Al Sharpton. When I heard that, I just KNEW that somewhere down the road the Liberals would denounce Rush as a racist for playing that song even though at the beginning of each song play, Rush clearly identifies the inspiration of the parody ---an L.A. Times ARTICLE titled, "Obama the 'Magic Negro'" written by LIBERAL David Ehrenstein. The LIBERAL author condescendingly wrote off Obama as a "Magic Negro" as a comic book type superhero whose main purpose is to assuage white guilt. Without that article there would be NO parody song. However, leave it to the Daily KOs KOmmies to be unable to figure it out as you can see in this KOmmie THREAD titled, "'Barack The Magic Negro' Plays on Rush. And he is still on the air?" Yes, the KOmmies really pile on Rush until an honest KOmmie sets them straight downthread and the FUn begins as the other KOmmies attempt to pretzel twist themselves out of the bind they put themselves in. So let us now watch the KOmmies slam Rush based on second hand information in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent hoping that Rush references this KOmmie thread on his next broadcast, is in the [brackets]:

“Barack The Magic Negro” Plays on Rush. And he is still on the air?

[Keep digging because this song parody of an article written by a LIBERAL won't be getting Rush off the air.]

This is a head-shaker. Imus gets canned for calling some college women basketball players "nappy-headed hos" and yet Rush Limbaugh plays "Barack The Magic Negro" on his show and he is still on the air?

[GASP! And is LIBERAL David Ehrenstein who coined "Magic Negro" as a description for Barack Obama still writing for the L.A. Times?]

How is that even possible?

[Media Matters needs to work on more out of context Rush quotes with all humor removed.]

To hear the song yourself, hit this YouTube link. The audio is from Rush's show, the video portion was done by someone else.

[LOL! Thanx for that link to the parody song based on an article written by a LIBERAL author.]

It is a parody by Paul Shanklin impersonating Al Sharpton and based on the Peter, Paul, and Mary hit song "Puff, the Magic Dragon". I am really at a loss of words. I heard it for the first time yesterday on the radio and was sickened.

[And of course, IF you heard it on Rush, you conveniently NEGLECTED to mention that it Rush always prefaces the song by explaining that the inspiration for this song was an L.A. Times article written by a LIBERAL.]

Again, how is this man on the air?

[Because Media Matters needs to take more Rush Limbaugh material completely out of context with all humor removed. Now let us hear your fellow KOmmies go out on the limb until it is hilariously sawed off from under them downthread...]

The link to the FCC complaint page is here.

["Dear FCC ---Since we can't beat Rush in the field of ideas, we would like him removed from the airwaves because we mistakenly thought he was racially insensitive with a parody song inspired by an article written by a liberal."]

Everyone do this. Just write Rush Limbaugh in all the slots you don't know.

[Everyone mindless do this and write in Rush Limbaugh in all the slots you don't know about a situation you don't know.]

I PRESUME that all who're down with "swamping" Limbaugh and advertisers are also targeting David Ehrenstein and the LA Times, yes? Since that was the origin of the "Magic Negro" material the pig Limbaugh was quoting, and which the song was parodying...? NO? Well, why the f*ck not? If it's racist on Rush, it's racist in the LA Times.

[OOPS!!! An honest KOmmie (who might be a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL) is now setting the KOmmies straight on the TRUE inspiration for this parody.]

Does the FCC regulate newspapers?

[LOL! Nice pretzel twist there. Sorry, KOmmie. It is going to be tough to untwist yourself out of the predicament you put yourselves into.]

ummm.... is racism racist regardless of context? phrases and concepts magically become racist when broadcast, but not when printed? fascinating turn of mind.

[And KOmmie RabidNation (who might be a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL) sets them straight again.]

But just to clarify, if it's print, they probably want to hit the newspaper's ombudsman, at least initially. If airwaves, FCC is the place to pile on.

[Not a PEEP from the KOmmies when the article first come out but now they need to do retroactive outrage against it in order to get at Rush.]

Who are limbaugh's sponsors. Complain to them. That's the way to get him off the air.

[Rush's sponsors are the ones doing TONS of business thanx to advertising on his show. However, when a sponsor dumps Rush they immediately flush themselves down the sales toilet which is exactly what happened to Snapple.]

Republican Party Donors sponsor him. It's not like Imus who was independent. Limbaugh is a Republican Party operative. Limbaugh will be dumped only if Republicans find someone else more effective at doing his job.

[You must be confusing Rush with Blowhard Ed Shultz who got paid by the Democrats to undergo a magical "conversion" and become a liberal. Rush doesn't need or take GOP dough. Unlike the Err America shows, Rush's broadcast is PLUSH with ad revenue because MILLIONS listen to him daily. Oh, and how is Al Franken doing nowadays?]

If Rush's sponsors haven't had a problem with everything else he's ever said, then they're incapable of dumping him.

[Yup! And this is why the Democrats are now trying to reinstitue the "Fairness" Doctrine aka the Hush Rush act.]

I've written my local station, noting that this is a local as well as national issue, and that conservative blacks (all four of them) may resent Limbaugh's naked appeal to the rabid racialists.

[Did you also write the L.A. Times with the same complaint about the LIBERAL author of the "Magic Negro" piece?]

If everyone on this site would complain, it would make a difference and could even snowball into something...

[What's AMAZING here is the DESPERATE effort by the the leftwingers to remove Rush from the airwaves. Notice that they NEVER debate him on ideas. Contrast this attitude with what conservatives think about Leftwing radio hosts. Is there an organized effort to remove Randi Rhodes and the rest of her ilk from the radio? No. We prefer to let them rant unmolested since their ideas are completely laughable and pose no threat.]

No one said it wasn't racist in the LA Times. by all means, post the LA Times mail address, let 'er rip. This is a diary specifically addressing Rush.

[Translation: In order to get Rush we must show phony retroactive outrage at the liberal source of the article that inspired the parody in first place.]

The radio segment was mocking Al Sharpton, which is racist. The newspaper article was being academically superior about Obama and white guilt and was bitter at worst.

[And, of course, Al "Tawana Brawley" Sharpton must NEVER be mocked.]

the LA times editorial by ehrenstein was not just a racist caricature. the limbaugh song just revels in the word "negro." apples and oranges.

[Strange but Ehrentein's normally chatty FABLOG makes no mention of his "Magic Negro" article nor of Rush's parody of it. It seems like even the LIBERAL author of this article is trying to distance himself from it.]

It's funny how this concept was developed to show how fiction marginalizes African-Americans, and now people on the right have taken it up as a cudgel to beat Obama over the head with as if being a "M.N." was a good thing.

[Obviously you don't understand PARODY. The purpose of the song was to MOCK the liberal assumption of Obama as the "Magic Negro" as was illustrated in the article of the same name.]

but since we're talking context, let's take a REAL look at what was in fact being said by Limbaugh and whether or not all the righteous umbrage and the calls to yank him off the air in this thread are really called for - and whether or not they are precisely what limbaugh was counting upon, to be leveraged for his own gain.

[Rush always counts on the liberals taking his broadcast out of context. How do I know? Because I actually LISTEN to his broadcasts. However, since you are making an incredible amount of sense, KOmmie RabidNation, please continue...]

I read the ehrenstein piece when it first appeared. I considered it racist in its own right - a cloying divide-and-conquer hatchet job predicated upon providing material for leverage by miscellaneous and sundry opportunists. I would consider both Limbaugh and Sharpton to fall into this category. This site was silent on the matter, by and large

[There is only phony RETROACTIVE outrage against Ehrenstein in KOmmieland. Continue...]

Limbaugh took the opportunity to use ehrenstein's crappy piece to go after ehrenstein, sharpton, and by extension all of us who constitute his favorite target, the "loony left," BANKING on the notion that we would respond exactly as we are in this thread - by calling for his head while leaving ehrenstein alone. and whaddya know: we now have a thread wherein people misattribute ehrenstein's statements to limbaugh and misattribute the shitty video to limbaugh - both demonstrably false, making us look foolish. just as he would want. meanwhile, he'll get to play martyr all the way to the bank, saying he was only QUOTING "our side" and using that quote to highlight our hypocrisy. and you know what? in the public mind, it'll work.

[It works because it's TRUE. Continue...]

did limbaugh actually say any racist word or phrase that ehrenstein did not? not that I can see. the song is dull-witted, offensive, tasteless, and no doubt unpleasant to sharpton. but it very carefully confines its mockery to ehrenstein and sharpton. neither the song nor limbaugh called anyone "N----- H---- H--s," nor any other Imusesque hate speech; it implies plenty, and states nothing. Meaning: Nothing can or will be done by the FCC, advertisers will not pull their ads, and Limbaugh and company will have a great laugh at the left's expense while continuing to yowl that it is we, in the person of ehrenstein and his column, who are the actual racists.

[Please don't forget the DUmmie FUnnies. We are also having a great laugh at the left's expense over this. Please finish up your mostly sensible post, KOmmie RabidNation...]

If any boycott or petition activity on this gets any attention, we'll hand Limbaugh multiple victories as we provide him and others of his sickly ilk the opportunity to present us as censorious, histrionic, and hypocritical. Which is precisely what he wants, IMO.

[Presenting the Left as censorious, histronic, and hypocritical? Gee, where could we get such a crazy idea that the Left is exactly that way?]

Not having read Ehrenstein's piece, I don't know if it is as objectionable as Rush playing that song. I DO know that there is a ton of racist garbage out there and we could keep ourselves busy 24/7 filing complaints to no particular effect. But if we can make Rush the next Imus, well that would have a chastening effect on all these racist SOBs and would have a real impact on public discourse.

[Key KOmmie Phrase: "I don't know."]

Has anyone called the reps for Peter, Paul and Mary?? The use of the tune is a major infringement on their royalty rights.. I misspoke in the email and said copyright, but the idea is the same. Theft of intellectual property.

[Sorry. Since it's parody, that doesn't apply. Back to square one on how to get Rush off the airwaves.]

Going after some kind of copyright infringement here is just stupid.

[Just like every other Hush Rush gimmick.]

I was also sickened and enraged by this. I'm a believer in non-violence, but Limbaugh's aiming for up-against-the-wall status in my imaginary revolution.

[FEEL the love! Liberal compassion at work.]

But it was satire, clearly humor, bad humor yes, repellent, yes, but it's a mistake to try to force him off the air.

[Don't worry. Your fellow KOmmies will pay NO attention to you.]

If his sponsors flee from him, then the free-market fetishist is stuck. What. Does he complain that the market is out to get him? But the market is perfect and all knowing! I don't want the FCC touching this. BUt I would love for Rush's sponsors to abandon him like rats fleeing a sinking ship. Let the gas bag broadcast on three stations from midnight to 4am.

[Too bad for you that won't be happening. Any sponsor that dumps Rush under pressure will suffer the same sad fate as Snapple.]

The only way to get rid of Rush is to just not listen to his show. Make sure everyone you know doesn't listen to the show. Get the word out. We don't need to make a huge media fuss because then you get the inevitable backlash. A quiet, but effective boycott of his stupid program will get him canned. Do not listen to him, ever.

[Liberals already don't listen to Rush's show but that doesn't stop them from complaining about what they don't hear.]

Contact Limbaugh's advertisers.

[And tell them to commit Snapple sales suicide by dumping Rush.]

Did Rush make any comments on-air after this played? I think I'll call and email my local station that carries Rush about this parody.

[And complain even though I don't listen to Rush.]

Fresh from their Imus firing, why not take down Rush Limbaugh? Rush has been bashing NBC for days for airing the Cho video. NBC should do a little payback.NBC should play this video on TV. This should be a battle between NBC and Rush.

[Which Rush would instantly win hands down since the YouTube video posted here was NOT uploaded by Rush.]

limbaugh didn't make the f*cking video. the video was made by some goof for youtube using audio from limbaugh's show. big f*cking difference. unless people get that fact through their heads, they'll only succeed in making themselves look extraordinarily stupid.

[Please don't dissuade them from making themselves look extraordinarily stupid.]

Could be a tipping point. Or not.

["Or not" is the operative term here.]

File a complain. Contact an advertisor. If everybody here takes one form of action or another, maybe we'll start a ripple.

[Toss everything at the wall. Maybe something will stick in our desperate attempts to Hush Rush.]

I listened to the Magic Negro song and found it pretty funny. It's a joke against Sharpton (who is a joke)and actually made Obama sound pretty good.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

f*ck accuracy, f*ck the first amendment. fresh from the meaningless "takedown" of the boring, tired old swine Imus, people are all set to try for porcine rush limbaugh now, eh...? not. smart.

[More inconvenient truths from KOmmie RabidNation who distills the Leftwing attitude perfectly.]

That fat ass will get away with this one because it was an editorial in the LA Times by David Erenstein that called Obama that in an article about two weeks ago. But there will be others. We will catch him when he's not looking.

[Thanx for presenting us with the censorious Leftwing Hush Rush agenda. They will try to "catch" him on ANYTHING, not matter how trivial.]

Free speech does not mean free access to three hours on the public airways. I have a lot of things on my mind, too, but no one is giving me my own radio show.

[Because no one listens to your liberal idiocy. With no ratings you get no sponsors which means you don't get on the air. And if you accidentally do get on the air, you will soon be removed due to the market effect. Ask Mario Cuomo, Jim Hightower, Al Franken, and a host of other failed liberal radio talk show hosts.]

More of an attack on Al Sharpton than on Obama. Rush has been criticizing and parodying Al Sharpton for well over a decade. Imus made his non-apology on Sharpton's radio show. Other black leaders that Rush has gone after include Jesse Jackson and Louis Farrakhan. To Rush it's only incidental they are black. It's far more important to him to criticize "Liberals" and what he considers to be the extremes of the left.

[And this KOmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

Who uses "negro" anymore either?

[Liberal writers for the L.A. Times.]

What precisely was so racist and offensive about this parody? Personally, I found it funny, but then again, to me, anything that lampoons the walking waste of protoplasm called Al Sharpton IS by definition, FUNNY! The phrase "magic negro" was not coined by Rush and has been the subject of numerous articles and commentaries. This is totally different than Imus, whose comment was not only inately offensive but was directed at an innocent group of college kids rather than public figures. Stop the thought police mentality and learn to participate in the marketplace of ideas, which includes expression you may find objectionable and offensive. If you don't even listen to Rush, how were you offended?

[Sorry but I have already used up my Kewpie Doll quota for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]

We have a responsibility to our national civility and citizenship to take him out, by any means possible and for any reason conceivable.

[Let the purges begin by any means necessary even if we have to make them up!]

Rush needs to be removed from the air. Among other things, contact the FCC with a complaint, and also contact your local Rush-affiliate and keep that pressure up especially since the local affiliates sell advertising to local businesses during Rush's show to profit from airing it. Also, start contacting the sponsors you hear on Rush's show, many are local to your region.

[HUSH RUSH! Do something, ANYTHING!!! People must NOT be allowed to hear conservative thought on the public airwaves. Please everybody! Find SOME WAY to get Rush off the air! PLEASE!!!]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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"Al Gore is going to run"

So now it turns out that all the Global Warming hoopla was really nothing but an Al Gore shtick whose SOLE purpose was to get himself back in the presidential race again. This comes amid recent reports that the Al Gore campaign is secretly assempling a team for the 2008 race. Of course, there are still a few Global Warming True believers like Laurie David and Sheryl (One Wipe) Crow. However, we now are seeing the true ulterior motive of Al Gore. This is to allow the Democrat candidates completely fail to impress its base as is already happening and then, by riding in on the Global Warming horse, appear to save the day in the form of the corpulent Al Gore. So far this strategy is working beautifully as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD breathlessly titled, "Al Gore is going to run." So let us now watch the DUmmies hail the return of their supposed savior in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that Joe (Copycat) Biden has been completely lost in the dust, is in the [brackets]:

Al Gore is going to run

[Here he comes to SAVE THE DAY!!!]

My heart rate goes up every time that gets mentioned , Go Al !!!

[Pitter Patter! Pitter Patter! Save us from Hillary!]

What I see with him now is a passion to fix global warming!

[A passion to use his Global Warming shtick to get the Democrat nomination.]

Kerry had no flipflop baggage - that is a RW talking point.

[Yeah. We forced Kerry to support the $87 billion before he was against it.]

If he had run in 2004, he would have suffered the same fate as Kerry, who actually won, but had the presidency stolen out from under him just as Gore did in 2000. But now the people are starting to wake up to the vote-theft committed through black-box voting machines and media complicity. Now there is a chance that stealing the election won't be as easy. The Republicans did steal a lot of votes in 2006, so we don't have as large a majority as we should, but the tsunami of throw-the-bums-out passion was so great that the Republicans' prearranged vote-theft margins (also known as "THE math") were not great enough to prevent the Dems from taking both houses.

[It's GONNA be FUn to watch the DUmmies scream "VOTE FRAUD!" when Algore loses again.]

The vote count and the media were rigged to destroy ANY Dem running in 2004. Thanks to Terry McAuliffe's stewardship of the DNC that completely ignored the security of the election process for the four years he was charged with that duty - especially after 2000 election theft.

[Not quite. The Democrats still managed to steal the Washington State governorship.]

I don't want him to run! I want him to be active as a cabinet member -- for President Edwards!! Edwards is the one who didn't wan to concede in 2004 -- he's the one that deserves a second chance!

[Sorry but it isn't in the cards for Al Gore to give a back facial to the Breck Girl.]

Gore did not concede. The SCOTUS annointed the boy king. Exactly what should Gore have done at that point?

[Get down on his knees and pledge allegiance to our Glorious Emperor, Chimpus Khan.]

Please let it be true!! We are in an environmental crisis that is threatening to destroy society. I truly believe that Al Gore may save the human race, but he must have the power to make the right decisions! If another repuke gets elected, it may be all over for us.

[I could point out to this DUmmie that terrorism poses a REAL threat but that would just divert his attention momentarily from worrying about some iceberg melting in the middle of the ocean.]

The Pubbie's worst nightmare is Al on TV telling the truth loudly and clearly!

[Actually Algore is our fondest dream. See it, SCREAM it, Al!]

If Al Gore ran... Cardiologists for Republicans would be on call 24/7. You bet he is their worst nightmare. He's everything they are not, and the majority want a BIG change. Perfect match.

[Cardiologists for Republicans would be on call because they would laugh themselves to the point of suffocation should Algore run again.]

Al Gore as Dem nominee is the republicans worst nightmare. Every time folks see an image of Gore they will remember Gore v. Bush 2000 and mournfully think "IF ONLY...."

[Every time I see an image of Gore, I remember the prosthetic crotch enhancer that he wore in 2000.]

Oh please let this be true!

[Pray to the Underdog.]

I don't believe it. The man has said repeatedly he has no plans to run. Al Gore is NOT a liar.

[So when Al Gore does run you will find out that he is a liar.]

I trust Al Gore. I believe if the man repeats over and over again he isn't going to run then he isn't. I just don't believe Gore will run because he's said too many times he won't.

[Does the Tooth Fairy also whisper in your ear?]

Mr. Gore is a man of his word. Period. So all of this speculative BS is just that.

[I have faith in Mr. Gore to break his word faster than a glacier meltdown.]

It all depends on what his thoughts are when those words come out of his mouth. If he is absolutely certain he is going to jump into the race and he just hasn't started planning yet then it would be misleading, but if he is considering it but has not made up his mind then his words are not misleading at all. My guess is that he is considering it or else he would just say flat out "no, it is absolutely positively not going to happen". Because he is unwilling to do that I think he is considering it, but because he has probably not firmly made up his mind yet he is not misleading anyone by saying he has no plans.

[You really enjoy gazing into Algore's navel, don't you?]

Al Gore will always be my president. I will walk through fire for that guy. I will give every ounce of energy I can muster to get him over the top and I know alot of folks who will do the same. One voice of sanity in an insane world, Al is The Man!

[If Al Gore is the one voice of sanity, then this world is far crazier than I thought.]

Wishing and hoping and thinking and praying, planning and dreaming...

[...and baying at the moon.]

I'm sure President EDWARDS could appoint him somewhere where he could do some good!

[President EDWARDS could make him the Back Facial director of the Pink Sapphire Spa.]

There's still some hours left in Earth Day...I wanted to treat myself.

[To two TP wipes instead of the Sheryl Crow mandated one?]

Run, Al, run! Mother Earth needs you.

[Better hope Mother Earth doesn't abort Al Gore.]

Some of you are delusional

[This is DUmmieland. Change "Some" to "All."]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Have you ever been at the beach and seen a really hot looking chick? Most likely all you will end up doing is just stare at her, drooling like an idiot. If you try to talk to her you will probably embarrass yourself with your clumsy pickup lines. Well, GOOD NEWS! I now have a product guaranteed to make it EASY to pick up lots of hot looking women at the beach. It is a product I have been using myself and fully endorse: the amazing HELICOPTER KITE. This helicopter kite flies like a helicopter. You can make it go hundreds of feet into the air or hover it just a couple of feet off the ground. The propellor rotation is done entirely by windpower. So how does this help you pick up chicks? Simple. Just hover this helicopter kite a few feet off the ground near the hot beach chick of your choice. In most cases they will be overcome with curiosity and come over to YOU to ask about it. I've run a little experiment on this and it works on about 75% of the women (catch and release in my case since I'm married). My advice is to keep the conversation initially focused on the helicopter kite until you can later make a sneaky segue into asking her out for dinner. From that point on, you're on your own. Please check out the VIDEO of the INCREDIBLE helicopter kite. Not only was the helicopter kite aerodynamically designed but it is also MADE IN THE USA! So feel good about purchasing an AMERICAN MADE toy which makes the perfect method for vastly enhancing your social life. The helicopter kites have a LIFETIME warranty so all defective or broken parts will be replaced. Your purchase of the helicopter kite will not only provide you with lots of hot dates but it will also help keep the DUmmie FUnnies going. So take a look at the VIDEO and be AMAZED! Remember, those hot beach chicks are waiting!

p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

SwiftSpa Attacks On John Edwards

"Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty." ---Derek Zoolander

It seems that John Edwards has been the object of vicious rightwing SwiftSpa attacks on him. What is a SwiftSpa attack? Well, it is a derivative of the SwiftBoat attacks or SwiftBoating. Originally, John Kerry was criticized by his fellow Swift Boaters that he served with in Vietnam (and in Cambodia if you buy his story about being in that country when Nixon was President in December 1968). Eventually "SwiftBoating" came to be used as a pejorative by the Left for whenever conservatives told the truth about liberal politicians. And now we have the specfic form of SwiftBoating called a SwiftSpa attack to describe the mocking of John Edwards for his $400 haircuts and visits to a beauty spa called the Pink Sapphire. At the forefront of the SwiftSpa attacks upon John Edwards is the HOT AIR blog which called upon its readers to replace the previous Edwards sobriquets of "Breck Girl" and "Silky Pony" with "Pink Sapphire." We at the DUmmie FUnnies feel this is very wrong on the part of Hot Air. "Pink Sapphire" is not what John Edwards is. It describes his LOOK. Check out the Zoolander video below and you will see that just as Derek Zoolander had his "Blue Steel" look, so too does Edwards have his patented "Pink Sapphire" look which you can see in the picture above. It is that Pink Sapphire look that Edwards uses to deadly effect. It is the look that says it's all about MEEEE!!! Pink Sapphire! See it, feel it, SAY IT!!!

Vicious Rightwingers and their
SwiftSpa Attacks.
Simply Jealous of what they
Haute Couturely lack.
...Pink Sapphire!

Rednecks shooting their
Menacing Glares,
I Mow them down,
With my Patented Stare.
...Pink Sapphire!

I'm Willing, I'm Ready,
In Spanish, "Soy Lista!"
To become the world's
Premier Fashionista.
...Pink Sapphire!

Primping and Pandering,
On subjects Retail and Racial,
While gaving Al Sharpton
A Big Back Facial.
...Pink Sapphire!

Cover me in a Tub
Full of Cucumbers and Cream
I'm so damn cute
I could just simply scream.
...Pink Sapphire!

You Go Guy!
I'm not a Crook!
I'll shoot them down
With my withering LOOK.
...Pink Sapphire!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Have you ever been at the beach and seen a really hot looking chick? Most likely all you will end up doing is just stare at her, drooling like an idiot. If you try to talk to her you will probably embarrass yourself with your clumsy pickup lines. Well, GOOD NEWS! I now have a product guaranteed to make it EASY to pick up lots of hot looking women at the beach. It is a product I have been using myself and fully endorse: the amazing HELICOPTER KITE. This helicopter kite flies like a helicopter. You can make it go hundreds of feet into the air or hover it just a couple of feet off the ground. The propellor rotation is done entirely by windpower. So how does this help you pick up chicks? Simple. Just hover this helicopter kite a few feet off the ground near the hot beach chick of your choice. In most cases they will be overcome with curiosity and come over to YOU to ask about it. I've run a little experiment on this and it works on about 75% of the women (catch and release in my case since I'm married). My advice is to keep the conversation initially focused on the helicopter kite until you can later make a sneaky segue into asking her out for dinner. From that point on, you're on your own. Please check out the VIDEO of the INCREDIBLE helicopter kite. Not only was the helicopter kite aerodynamically designed but it is
also MADE IN THE USA! So feel good about purchasing an AMERICAN MADE toy which makes the perfect method for vastly enhancing your social life. The helicopter kites have a LIFETIME warranty so all defective or broken parts will be replaced. Your purchase of the helicopter kite will not only provide you with lots of hot dates but it will also help keep the DUmmie FUnnies going. So take a look at the VIDEO and be AMAZED! Remember, those hot beach chicks are waiting!

p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

William Rivers Pitt Defends Edwards' $400 Haircut

It looks like William Rivers Pitt now has a new political cause: defending the $400 haircut of John Edwards as you can see in his THREAD titled, "A retort to the Edwards 'Haircutgate' nonsense." It is perhaps Pitt's greatest political treatise since his overlong essay on the Third American Empire and how it all began following our victory at the 1980 Winter Olympics hockey game when we beat the Soviets. If the latter was Pitt's Hockey Puck Geopolitical Theory then I declare Pitt's latest poltical writing the Hairspray Manifesto. Of course, even Pitt shied away from even mentioning Edwards' visit to the PINK SAPPHIRE SPA of Manchester, NH for a $225 beauty treatment. You can acctually see the Pink Sapphire listed as an expense in Edwards' official disbursements FILING with the Federal Election Commission. Normally I find such filing entries to be just a bunch of dull figures. However, I never tire of scrolling down to "Pink Sapphire" to see it listed as being a payee of John Edwards campaign funds to the tune of $225. What's absolutely amazing to me is that there was NO ONE in the Edwards campaign, including the candidate himself, who thought it might be a bad idea to make an official payment to a place called the "Pink Sapphire." Didn't anyone in the Edwards campaign realize that such a payment would make Edwards the butt of jokes? Surely they should have realized that any candidate visiting a Pink Sapphire Spa would be mocked in places like, say, the DUmmie FUnnies because they offer such advertised services as as a "Super Moisterizing Facial" for $60 or a "Back Facial" for $50 (shouldn't that be called a "Tush Facial?"). So let us now watch Pied Piper Pitt jump to the defense of Edwards' $400 haircut in Bolshevik Red even though it should be in Sapphire Spa Pink while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if presidential candidate Al Smith ever stubbed out his cigar long enough to avail himself of the Pink Sapphire Spa beauty treatments, is in the [brackets]:

A retort to the Edwards "Haircutgate" nonsense.

[Stand by for Pitt's Hairspray Manifesto.]

Edwards got a $400 haircut paid for out of campaign funds. The yelling starts.

[But the screaming starts when Edwards got his $225 Pink Sapphire Spa beauty treatments.]

Hm.

OK.

[Pitt solved his own haircut expense problem recently by going for the Mr. Clean Chrome Dome look.]

1. That is what campaign funds are there for. In a campaign realm where TV rules, the grooming, personal appearance and general telegenic appeal of candidates is of vast importance. Ergo, the upkeep of said appearance is as important to a campaign as polling, ads and voter lists. Name for me, please, the last poorly-groomed candidate who got anywhere. Example:

[Al Smith who had a lousy haircut which he solved by wearing a derby all the time.]

Remember the goofy Kucinich hairdo that wound up on all those buttons? Remember when they got him a better haircut as the 2004 campaign started? Hmmm...

[Remember when you sabotaged the Kucinich campaign when you, as his press secretary, began feeding inside information to the 2004 Kerry campaign? Hmmm...]

Every candidate you've ever supported has received haircuts, makeup (for ads and debates) and other grooming/appearance things that were paid for by the campaign. Cope with it. If you still don't get it, you either have no concept of how campaigns work, or...

[I bet no male candidate has ever received makeup treatments at a place called the Pink Sapphire Spa. Cope with it.]

2. I smell manufactured outrage from those who support other candidates. There, I said it.

[I smell manufactured perfume from John Edwards' Pink Sapphire Spa beauty treatment. Perhaps it was from their advertised "Touch of Youth Facial" which would set his campaign back only 65 bucks. And now we part the veiled curtains of the Pink Sapphire Spa to gently gaze upon the other DUmmie comments on this pressing political issue...]

or 3) people expect a millionaire to pay for his own damn haircuts. We saw him before he announced. He wasn't a mountain man. He had haircuts then. Its not a campaign expense. Bad judgement on his part.

[Okay, maybe Edwards should pay for his own haircuts but expecting him to pay for his Pink Sapphire Spa beauty treatments is asking for too much of a sacrifice on his part.]

It maybe that haircuts that are part of an appearace have to be reported for election law purposes. He is not merely getting haircuts at home.He has had to bring people in and get them while traveling. Those have to be declared campaign expenses.He cannot just "pay for them himself".It would probably not be legal.

[Did the McCain-Feingold Campaign Finance Reform Law make it illegal for multi-millionaire candidates to pay for their own haircuts and beauty treatments?]

I doubt it, since if you get a haircut or manicure on a business trip its most likely not a deductible business expense.

[Oh yeah? Well, I bet a "Face Rescue Express" beauty treatment at the Pink Sapphire Spa is definitely a legal deductible business expense.]

did you pay for your own deodorant, toothpaste, and kleenex? As a candidate you can't walk around smelling bad, with garnly teeth and snotty nose either.

[Why not? Jerry Brown did it all the time years ago?]

Has anyone verified the story or are we chasing our tail again, and are we looking at everyones financial reports?

[You can verify one of the stories by simply going to John Edwards' official FEC Disbursements WEBSITE and scroll down to "Pink Sapphire." Oh and you can also see the 800 bucks shelled out to Torrenueva Hair Designs as well but the Pink Sapphire payment is still my fave.]

the edwards expense reporting appears to be unusual. I couldn't find haircuts on Clinton, Obama, McCain or Guiliani.

[Does Guiliani even have any hair left to cut?]

What did you think about the $3100.00 Clinton give to Vilsack for president?

[That was to pay for a new Pooh Bear for Vlasic to WEAR on his head.]

really like Edwards (if I can't have Gore).But I hate seeing him with stupid moves like $800 for haircuts. He's a gorgeous man, he doesn't need a hollywood stylist.

[But maybe he needs a Pink Sapphire Beauty Treatment artiste.]

I think that haircut stuff is going to fade. Cream raises to the top.

[It's a long rise for the beauty cream to go from a Pink Sapphire Spa "Back Facial" to a regular Face Facial.]

well its true enough that they all have ugly edges but why give THEM ammunition if you don't have to.

[For the Edwards campaign to offically file a campaign disbursement to the Pink Sapphire is like handing a nuclear missile to the DUmmie FUnnies.]

People make sacrifices to send their candidates their hard-earned money; if I were on a fixed income and had scraped together the most I could afford to send to his campaign, because I believed in the importance of getting his message out and not in the importance of his hair, I'd be pissed.

[Okay I can understand that but please don't expect Edwards to make the ultimate sacrifice by paying for his Pink Sapphire Spa beauty treatments. Those "Touch of Youth" Facials don't come cheap.]

My "outrage" is at Edwards' willingness to kiss AIPAC ass, not his haircut.

[Let's be polite. He gave them a "Back Facial."]

But a $400 haircut is ridiculous, effing ridiculous. Think of how much good that could have done in a place like Calcutta.

[Think of how many Egg McNuthins that haircut expense would have bought in Calcutta.]

I hope you've never spent any money on anything besides bare necessities, so Calcutta can benefit from your largesse.

[A Back Facial would be a bare necessity for Edwards, Will.]

Just wait until the Haircut Haters figure out how much make up costs. My daughter gets $150 per 1/2 hour session & $500 per day as a trained professional make up artist. And then there's the stylist, who coordinates the entire look for each occasion on the campaign trail. This haircut hating is just the tip of the iceberg.

[Correct. The DUmmie FUnnies is getting way more comedy material out of the Pink Sapphire Spa beauty treatments than from the $400 haircuts.]

Some people can do their own roots and some people can't. It depend on many factors like what color you start with, what your target color is, what your underlying tones are, what texture hair you have and how much gray you have. I bet if Edwards tried he would either come out way too dark or with orangy hot roots. Then people would be bitching that he should have had a professional do it. I think he did the right thing. Dying a mans hair to look natural isn't as easy as it looks. He definitely got good service.

[How dare you spread the ugly rumor that John Edwards has his hair dyed!? Listen buddy, John Edwards is NOT gray! You got that? JOHN EDWARDS IS NOT GRAY!!!]

What would people in Calcutta do with a $400 haircut?

[Beg for a 50 cent Egg McNuthin.]

There's looking good and there's looking stupid. Putting this on the campaign tab makes Edwards look stupid and shallow.

[While putting the Pink Sapphire Spa beauty treatment on the campaign tab makes Edwards look stupid and shallow AND silly.]

he may have every right to do it, but we have every right to say it's politically tone-deaf to do so.

[Edwards made up for that haircut fiasco by a visit to the Pink Sapphire Spa.]

You'd think he would have the sense to understand how it would be used against him. It represents, on the surface, how out of touch he is with normal people. Not that republicans don't do the same or worse, but he's a smart guy, and he should know already that he will be smeared for it, and should bend over backwards to ensure that he gives them nothing to use against him.

[It seems like Edwards bent over forwards when he went to Pink Sapphire Spa for a beauty treatment.]

It's simply the unbelievability of a $400 haircut. Or millionaires building houses without implementing EVERY possible green technology. Whether it's Edwards or Obama or Kerry or Bill Gates. When are the people with the money going to be expected to use the power of their money the way they tell us we're supposed to. If Democrats don't get this through their heads in a hurry - kiss 2008 good-bye. Voters will not tolerate this kind of economic hypocrisy. Do not bitch to me about Walmart when you're spending $400 on haircuts. You clearly don't know anything about my world, even if you once did. Which doesn't preclude the fact that this IS a manufactured "issues". Our people shouldn't be so out of touch. Where was the staff telling him not to do this as well.

[And this DUmmie WINS a free facial treatment at the Pink Sapphire Spa for having a brief moment of mental clarity. (Sorry, all out of Kewpie Dolls today.)]

Hey, anybody seen the receipt? Does anybody know exactly what services were delivered/performed for the $400? And where? Where were these services delivered/performed? At a salon or on location?

[I've seen the OFFICIAL disbursement expense for the Pink Sapphire. That alone was enough to keep me laughing all day.]

And itemized accounting? Nope. Nor do I see a copy of the campaign finance report. No one knows what services/productes were purchased. He might have bought hair cuts for several people. he might (as has been alleged) have also received makeup services for a television appearance. He may have purchased a meal or meals through the salon.

[The Pink Sapphire Spa will cater while you get a Super Moisterizing Facial?]

It's up to his campaign to document the details. It surfaced in an AP story - they've had adequate time to provide a rebuttal. They've decided to ignore it and hope it goes away, reminding EVERYONE of the way John Kerry handled the Swiftboat Veterans for Truth.

[Those damn rightwingers are sure to SwiftSpa John Edwards!]

Would people prefer he went to Bush's barber? Shrub's barber, who would (and I think DID) get terminated from Supercuts for incompetence, would definitely cut John Edwards' hair for less than $400. And it would be worth every cent he paid.

[Yeah, there is something definitely lacking in Bush's character since he doesn't obsess over his hair.]

I am sure that Edwards' ASS looks much better than Bush's FACE, regardless of how artfully the hair is arranged around it.

[I am sure that could be true if Edwards got the Back Facial offered at the Pink Sapphire Spa for only $50.]

Edwards is the best damn looking guy running already,how much better does he need to look? He doesn't even have a fancy cut for crying a loud.I'm not saying he should get a f*cking Flowbee cut.I get the concept of campaigning Will.

[Do you get the concept that a visit to the Pink Sapphire Spa is a MUST for John Edwards?]

But, but going to a ladies salon makes him effeminate. Haven't you read the GOP talking points yet?

[Wrong. Edwards visit to the Pink Sapphire Spa only makes him look Metrosexual.]

Just imagine what he pays for makeup.

[According to Edwards' offical FEC Campaign Disbursements report, he paid $225 to the Pink Sapphire Spa for their makeup treatments.]

For a candidate nicknamed the "Breck Girl" a $400 haircut feeds a negative

[Would you prefer that we call him the "Pink Sapphire Spa Babe?"]

I don;t think people will be happy until they all shave their heads

[Pied Piper PItt made folks happy by going the Chrome Dome route.]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Have you ever been at the beach and seen a really hot looking chick? Most likely all you will end up doing is just stare at her, drooling like an idiot. If you try to talk to her you will probably embarrass yourself with your clumsy pickup lines. Well, GOOD NEWS! I now have a product guaranteed to make it EASY to pick up lots of hot looking women at the beach. It is a product I have been using myself and fully endorse: the amazing HELICOPTER KITE. This helicopter kite flies like a helicopter. You can make it go hundreds of feet into the air or hover it just a couple of feet off the ground. The propellor rotation is done entirely by windpower. So how does this help you pick up chicks? Simple. Just hover this helicopter kite a few feet off the ground near the hot beach chick of your choice. In most cases they will be overcome with curiosity and come over to YOU to ask about it. I've run a little experiment on this and it works on about 75% of the women (catch and release in my case since I'm married). My advice is to keep the conversation initially focused on the helicopter kite until you can later make a sneaky segue into asking her out for dinner. From that point on, you're on your own. Please check out the VIDEO of the INCREDIBLE helicopter kite. Not only was the helicopter kite aerodynamically designed but it is also MADE IN THE USA! So feel good about purchasing an AMERICAN MADE toy which makes the perfect method for vastly enhancing your social life. The helicopter kites have a LIFETIME warranty so all defective or broken parts will be replaced. Your purchase of the helicopter kite will not only provide you with lots of hot dates but it will also help keep the DUmmie FUnnies going. So take a look at the VIDEO and be AMAZED! Remember, those hot beach chicks are waiting!

p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

KOmmies Denounce Bush For Attending Virginia Tech Memorial Service

Here is a case where President Bush could do NOTHING right according to the Daily KOs KOmmies. Bush attends the memorial service at Virginia Tech for the shooting victims and the KOmmies denounce him for being "callous." But guess what? Had Bush NOT attended that memorial service, what do you think the KOmmies would be saying? That he was callous for ignoring the victims. Most likely the very SAME KOmmie decrying Bush's attendance at the memorial service as you can see in this THREAD titled, "From A Virginia Tech Alumnus to President Bush," would be screeching that he was heartless for not attending the same service. Heads I win, Tails you lose. So let us now watch the KOmmies denounce Bush's memorial service attendance in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching how the KOmmies never fail to politicize everything, is in the [brackets]:

From A Virginia Tech Alumnus to President Bush

[From a BDS Virginia Tech Alumnus Who Never Fails to Politicize Everything.]

I find your desire to attend the memorial service on Virginia Tech to be just another callous and manipulative act. Do these people suffering from an inexplicable tragedy the favor of staying in Washington. You have nothing but empty sentiment to offer. However, to accommodate and protect your monstrous ego, security procedures will destroy the emotional sanctity of the memorial service. You know that, but you cannot resist the temptation to distract people from your failed foreign and domestic policies, not to mention the corruption threatening the survival of your terrible tenure as the president.

[I absolutely guarantee that KOmmie DWG would have been denouncing Bush as being callous had he NOT attended the memorial service.]

You have a history of the cheap political stunts to encourage people to think you are capable of caring about others. Your many visits to the destroyed Gulf Coast are perfect examples. You politicized and gutted FEMA. You were warned Katrina was a serious threat, but did nothing. You visited devastated areas time and again, but your administration accomplished little to clean up the mess. The least fortune and most vulnerable suffered the most from Katrina. Your words and sympathy did not translate into action.

[You want to see a cheap political stunt, KOmmie DWG? Try looking in a mirror.]

You now want to pretend to grieve the loss of young lives. Before you bring your security circus to my alma mater, please explain your failure to attend the funerals of the 3300 young men and women killed in Iraq and 380 killed in Afghanistan. You made the decisions to send those soldiers to their deaths, but do everything possible to keep the deaths out of public conscious. You should stay in Washington to figure out how to end the humanitarian crisis YOU created in Iraq.

[KOmmie DWG is in the middle of a cheap poltical stunt here by politicizing the Va Tech tragedy.]

You are expert at little more than transforming tragedy into carefully crafted political theater. Now you want to intrude upon the memorial service. I know God is dead in you, but do try to imagine for a nanosecond how the security might prevent the university community from coming together in grief. Your words will ease no one’s pain.

[Sayeth KOmmie DWG performing his cheap poltical theater from the Daily KOs stage.]

You cannot begin to understand what those of us with ties to Virginia Tech have lost in this tragedy. You have never jogged around the Duck Pond. You have never tubed down the New River. You never braved the winter winds trying to cross the Drill Field to get to classes. You never spent more than you could afford at Bogen’s or Books, Strings, and Things. You never watched the sun rise and set over the mountains. You never took a date to the Cascades for a romantic picnic. You never hiked the Appalachian Trial above Mountain Lake. You never watched a football game at Lane Stadium. You never practically lived in the stacks of Newman Library. You are not, nor will ever be, a member of the Virginia Tech and Blacksburg communities. You will never have to reconcile years of wonderful memories of Tech with the senseless loss of life on April 16, 2007.

[So Bush should apologize for not being a Virginia Tech alumnus? BDS really has caused severe derangement in your non-thought process.]

Stay in Washington, D.C., and let the Virginia Tech community heal.

[Stay in KOmmieland, and quit POLITICIZING the Virginia Tech tragedy. And now to hear from his equally deranged fellow KOmmies...]

CNN just announced our war criminal king has decided to feed his ego at the expense of the Tech community. What an asshole!!!


[Yeah. Who ever heard of a president attending a memorial service for a national tragedy before?]

This may just backfire on him.

[KOmmies always looking at EVERYTHING from their twisted political angle.]

Of course, this is a blatant attempt to distract from the growing swarm of scandals swirling around his as well as from his failure to even try to work with congress to come up with a coherent plan for getting the hell out of Iraq.

[This from the same Leftwing group who were also crybabying that the Virginia Tech shootings caused a cancellation of AG Gonzalez's appearance before Congress yesterday.]

In her book the "Psychopath Next Door" author Martha Stoudt says 4% of people are psychopaths who do not feel others pain.

[4% of the general public but about 95% of the KOmmies who obviously don't feel the pain of the victim's families because they are POLITICIZING this for their own dopey ends.]

George Bush is like an uninvited guest crashing into a private memorial service that was planned for the deceased person's closest family members and friends. It's like showing up at the funeral of a casual acquaintances's father or mother, to mourn for someone with whom one had no past connections whatsoever.

[So the President has to KNOW the victims before he can attend the memorial service? Idiot KOmmie non-reasoning at its worst.]

Indeed, it might backfire and make a travesty of the whole event. Given how many people have turned on Bush, chances are a significant number of the crowd, perhaps even a majority, no matter how conservative the area is, are disgusted and repelled by what is going on in the administration and will find it a struggle to be polite and feel like his presence is a slap in their face. It's possible his presence could even cause hostility and ill-feeling in the crowd among those who still blindly support him and those who don't. In this situation, people should not be forced to cope with THAT as well.

[Always looking at the political angle. Do us ALL a favor and STFU!!!]

It'd be nice to think he'd be a little less out of touch than that, or might have the least shred of human empathy to suppress the desire to make the occasion all about him.

[This from a KOmmie who made the occasion all about politics.]

All politics all the time. That's all this gang has ever been about. I doubt there's even a shred of empathy among the whole lot; merely a political calculus.

[Said a KOmmie without the slightest sense of the self-irony of his looking at this from an entirely POLITICAL angle.]

The man does not pray, does not care, has no compassion and should be ousted asap!

[Feel the "love" from this political animal KOmmie.]

Want to see a sea change about impeachment? Watch for one previous Bushie on campus to say something quotable about intrusive and wrong Bush's visit will be.I hope that people just silently but publicly turn their backs on Bush at this memorial service.

[Want to see a KOmmie inappropriately try to turn this tragedy into a political event? Read the above idiotic posting.]

It's just the slow, steady creep of the strong-armed fascist state that I perceive in this incident, and others no doubt feel it too without admitting it.

[It's just the slow, steady drain of your brain cells from your tiny skull that I perceive in your POLITICIZATION of this incident.]

Send this diary to Olbermann ASAP.

[Too late. Olbermann already started inappropriately politicizing this tragedy.]

He's probably looking in his closet for the appropriate costume for the event. He soooo wants to wear that flight suit again. And it's hard to imagine him anywhere without his usual backdrop of men in uniform. I have no connection to VT but I hate that they have to put up with what the diarist aptly described as the Bush circus.

[The only circus act I see is the Leftwing three wing circus act performed by KOmmies intent on inappropriately POLITICIZING everything.]

I just hope he doesn't speak. Maybe Warner and Webb can filibuster him.

[The level of inappropriate KOmmie POLITICIZATION is incredible. BTW, SFTU!!!]

This is a president who is the very embodiment of America's dark underbelly of violence and domination, who uses illegitimate power to mask his own insecurities and personal failings, whose compassion (such as it is) extends only to those who serve his own ends. He has brought the American culture of violence to the world, and his presence at Blacksburg today will be a jarring reminder of that. I am so sorry that the good students and people of Viginia Tech will be vicitms now for a second time, this time of a callous man who sees political opportunity in a tragedy that so sadly reflects his own shallowness. My heart goes out to everyone there in that beautiful corner of the Blue Ridge. I hope you all can find some solace in the springtime hills.

[Want to give us the tired lecture again about how Bush is politicizing this tragedy?]

unless the community requests that he stay away. it is part of the responsibility of the president to speak for the nation at times of grief. Were Bush not to come he would be subject to severe criticism for not doing so.

[You bet. These very same idiotic KOmmies would be screeching over how heartless Bush is for NOT attending the memorial service. NOTHING that Bush does can be correct in their blurred eyes looking at EVERYTHING through a political lens.]

Rove is calculating right now... Just how much in the way of political points he'll score by attending. I have no doubt that he thinks Bush's approval rating will go back over 50% if the country thinks "he cares"


[And no KOmmie inappropriate POLITICAL calculation thread would be complete without invoking the name of Karl Rove.]

I can't help wondering if Rove will tell Bush to bring a bullhorn and stand on the students' graves when he speaks.

[I can't help wondering when you will start waving your butterfly net. Oh wait! You already did.]

have you ever known President Bush to not consider the political calculations before making a decision. He embodies bad politics. The politics of secrecy, exploitation, division, and corruption. This is not what Blacksburg needs today.

[You mean like the way all you KOmmies are making political calculations about the memorial service for this tragedy?]

He also drinks the blood of children from a bronzed skull he's had since college while he plays Solitaire with the "Who's Who In the Aryan Brotherhood?" playing cards deck. And that's all before he hits the town on Friday night.

[The strange thing is that the Left is so afflicted by BDS that I don't think this KOmmie is even joking.]

can we please leave politics out of this tragedy? Bush is the President and this is a national tragedy and the President should be there. Don't politicize the deaths of these innocent people by making postings like this.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Goddamned f*cking sonofabitch! I friggin HATE this f*cktard.

[A KOmmie mind completely fried by terminal BDS.][

I would criticize Bush for not going and I will criticize him for going

[A brief moment of honesty from a totally irrational KOmmie.]

But no matter how you feel about Bush, this diary entry smacks of nothing less than pure hatred.

[Caused by BDS (Bush Derangement Syndrome.]

yes, i imagine that he feels no grief at all over this tragedy.

[Yes, I imagine that you are suffering from irrational BDS.]

i am cynical enough to think that Rove has told him to do this in a vain effort to keep Virginia from turning blue. We know how W feels about Jim Webb and the growing influence of Virginia Democrats. I'd bet anything that Webb and Kaine would rather not have him there, and this is GWB's way of rubbing their noses in the fact that he's the POTUS and can foist himself upon any audience he chooses.

[i am cynical enough to think that you long ago lost any connection to reality due to your terminal BDS.]

When did Daily Kos become Democratic Underground?

[KOmmies are basically the same as DUmmies only with better PR.]

Wouldn't it be great if the students booed

[Sorry but most Va Tech students aren't on the idiotic KOmmie wavelength where politics must override everything.]

I'll admit, he can't win with me on this situation. If he didn't go to VT I would call him on it. Because he is going, I am going to call him on it.

[Yet another KOmmie honest enough to admit his own irrationality.]

Bu$h at VA Tech campus to rally his "base". The fact that Virginia is part of the bible belt south prompts the little monkey to feel obligated to show up and feign sorrow, so he toes the proverbial (Mason-Dixon)line and travels to Virgina at not only the bequest of his "base", but also at the urging of the NRA (of course) to not only deliver a sorrowful speech, but to defend gun owners rights. What a corporate shill he is, even disrespecting the deaths of 32 young, vital Americans to promote his twisted agenda. May he rot in hell alongside the gunman...

[And YOU'RE complaining about Bush politicizing this memorial service???]

I don't really think one could get more classless and petty than this diary.

[You bet but at least it allows us to see where the KOmmies are coming from and it isn't a very pretty place.]

he's the worst kind of political animal and should be actively prohibited from coming anywhere near memorials like this. were it not for the importance of maintaining some level of dignity for the families of the dead, i would be hoping for protests.

[After a momentary lapse into sanity, the KOmmies revert to type.]

"Which Conservatives should we allow on the air?"

Make no mistake about it, Don Imus deserved to be fired. In fact he should have been fired over a quarter century ago when he was calling out the N-word to black people, including Robin Quivers, who worked at his WNBC station. Imus himself confirmed that he did this when he responded in the affirmative to Larry King's question about this. So it isn't an issue of being PC. It is a matter of common decency. However, neither WNBC nor its parent company were willing to part with Imus and continued enabling him for years because Imus wisely decided to tout the liberal line. I'm sure that Imus himself isn't even all that politically motivated since like that other opportunist, Blowhard Ed Shultz, he knows were his bread was buttered and it was definitely on the Left side of the political spectrum. Perhaps the best observation of the incredible hypocrisy of NBC and the Liberals written thus far comes from Leonard Pitts, Jr. of the Miami Herald who WROTE:

Don Imus ought to be ashamed of himself, but no more so than Kerry, Matthews, Brokaw, Biden and anybody else who lacked the wit to understand that the willingness to offend in and of itself represents neither courage nor authenticity.

Yes, they all knew about what a sleazebag Imus was, including his hurling of racial pejoratives, but that did not keep them from patronizing Imus by appearing regularly on his show. In fact, I recently read an article bemoaning how Democrat politicos now no longer have a radio show to turn to in order to promote themselves. As to Imus, it is only a matter of time before his trophy wife, Deirdre, becomes revolted at having to wake up every morning next to the ugly iguana who is rapidly becoming a nonentity. I only hope she takes Don to the cleaners following their divorce. So as to Imus' fate, I have no sympathy. However, the Left is now trying to use his firing as a way to purge broadcasting of conservative thought as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD arrogantly titled, "Which Conservatives should we allow on the air?" So let us now watch the DUmmie fantasize about purging the airwaves of conservatives in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if the DUmmies would even consider a purge of the MANY Liberals who enabled Don Imus over the years, is in the [brackets]:

Which Conservatives should we allow on the air?

[Which Liberals should we allow in the asylum?]

I see that we are in a collective tizzy over the firing of Don Imus (which, to be fair, was probably the right move for NBC/CBS to make). What's more I see several posts apparently quite seriously discussing who we knock off the air next (with Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh leading). So here's an alternate question; assuming we do have the power to get rid of voices we don't like, which conservatives should we allow to stay on the air?

[The only way you will have that power is if Congress can override a presidential veto of the Fairness Doctrine. Otherwise you will have to wait for another Hugo Chavez to be elected president as a Democrat so he (or SHE) can stifle dissent.]

Letting them know early that their jobs are safe from us, might even persuade them to go after their more egregious brethren.

[This DUmmie sounds like he wants to take over from Mike Nifong who was begging for DUke Lacrosse players to rat out their teammates over a crime that did not happen.]

The ones who comport themselves like responsible citizens.

[Translation: Those "conservatives" who do not dare to challenge liberals.]

Who gets to make that determination?

[The Central Committee for Political Correctness.]

These motherf*ckas usurped free elections in the United States, started 2 unnecessary wars, and killed over a million people, with our tax dollars. World opinion has always been against the United States (even Nazi Germany polled higher); the only thing that can save us is to purge from the public discourse the malingering malcontents. And the smokers.

[And don't forget the gum chewers. They are the WORST!]

I don't think you can under-estimate Hate Radio, look what happened in Rwanda in 1994. A million dead, genocide organized by radio, while the United States sat back and laughed.

[HUH? Bill Clinton was president in 1994 when he did nothing. Oh, and that genocide was organized by radio? News to me and just about everybody else not confined to your asylum.]

Ed Shultz. That's it.

[The only "conservative" they will tolerate is the radio host who was bribed to become a liberal.]

Isn't espousing conservatism by definition hate speech?

[And this is the mentality of the Left. Conservatism is in itself defined by them as "hate speech" so no conservative by that leftwing reasoning can be allowed on the airwaves. The Hugo Chavez argument.]

I have some 'conservative' acquaintences who don't use hate speech. That doesn't mean they aren't greedy and selfish, IMHO, but they are smart enough not to use hate speech.

[The DUmmie version of tolerance but...]

Because they don't use it around you. Doesn't mean they don't use it when you're not in their company!

[...another DUmmie gets his mind right again so as to be able to purge ALL conservatives off the airwaves.]

Free speech for those who use it truthfully and honestly
but lies and distortions and deceptions shouldn't be protected from the will of the people. And, let's face it, without lies and distortions and deceptions, there isn't any conservatism.

[Free speech but not for those who don't meet DUmmie approval.]

Back on topic, 'which, if any, conservatives should we allow on the air?' I still gotta say none for now, unless they're found not-guilty of their crimes-against-humanity charges, and that's a hugh if!

[Yeah, a "hugh" if. And only if they pass muster with the DUmmie kangaroo court.]

Democratically enacted "censorship" isn't necessarily a bad thing.

[Don't ever censor the DUmmies whether democratically or not. Their rantings provide the DUmmie FUnnies with prime comedy material, including the laugh line above.]

*ding*ding*ding* Conservative 'ideology' is based on a quicksand quagmire of lies, distortions, and deceptions, which inevitably leads to burning books they hate and the authors who wrote them.

[*ding*dong*ding*dong* That was the sound of a DUmmie trying to think about First Amendment issues.]

The goal isn't to get someone fired. The goal is to hold... broadcast profiteers responsible for the toxic wares they pedal. Does the existence of the FDA amount to banning food and drug companies from doing business? Or is its purpose to hold accountable the irresponsible ones?

[So the "reasoning" here is to use the FDA to ban Rush Limbaugh as a toxic substance.]

The reinstatement of the fairness doctrine would do the trick.
reagan killed the fairness doctrine which gave birth to the likes of limbaugh, who has proven that he can not hold down a legitimate job. He has to hate and lie unfettered. He and his kind intensely fear the reinstatemnt of the doctrine. There is no better reason to want it back.

[Which explains why the Evil Elf and other Leftwingers are pushing so hard to bring back the Fairness Doctrine aka "Hush Rush."]

I will tolerate Rushbo's lies as long as I know there's an alternative on the dial to his bile. As long as there is diversity on the airwaves, there should be room for all types of political and social speech. The problem is when those airwaves are controlled by a handful of hands and our choices of who we listen to are limited.

[The problem is that liberals consistently FAIL on the airwaves. Look what happened to Al Franken, Jim Hightower, Mario Cuomo, Err America, etc.. They all FAILED because of LOUSY ratings, not because of some secret conservative conspiracy.]

Conservatives are causing real damage to America every day, and they are able to do so by creating a climate in which their views are taken as normal. If the American people are shielded from their deceptive filth, they will be able to see the truth.

[Oh. I see it is sort of like an innoculation for the good of the American people. If only we could be innoculated from hearing conservatives, then we will be able to see the Leftwing "truth" that is unchallenged by any contrary views.]

I think they should be held in protective custody until they're frogmarched up the gallows. They believe only in money, they can be turned at the drop of a dime. But they can't be on the air in a free society.

[Feel the love and tolerance!]

However I don't think we can actually execute people for having the wrong opinion without getting the State involved, and getting the state involved would violate the first amendment. So I think will have to settle for knocking them off the air.

[The DUmmie version of tolerance. Allowing conservatives to live while censoring them.]

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