"Oh, you silly Americans!"

WOW! It's spreading like wildfire. Now that the elections are over, the Looney Left feels completely free to SLAM America. We saw it happen at the Daily Kos in yesterday's EDITION of the DUmmie FUnnies and today we have an equally NUttie Hate America DUmmie THREAD titled, "Oh, you silly Americans!" The anti-Americanism of this DUmmie thread will leave you speachless. Of course, those same DUmmies are the same ones who get outraged if you dare to "question their patriotism" despite the total revulsion for this country expressed in this thread. So let us now watch the DUmmies slam America yet AGAIN in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, reminding the DUmmies that they can find true freedom in Pyongyang, is in the [brackets]:

"Oh, you silly Americans!"

[Oh, you silly DUmmies!]

Here we go again! You American's slay me----I know. bad choice of words considering the fact that you've just about had a shot at killing everyone on the planet once or twice. But i digress. I'm here to talk about your ridiculous calls for Bush's impeachment. It's all so contrived for you people, isn't it? It's all so easy. Your nation walks into anoter, kills hundreds of thousands for "sport" and absolutely no other reason. You cow tow to a maniac that the world hasn't seen since Hitler and Mussolini. You crow about democracy and what's right and who's wrong about being right and then somehow you idiots figure that impeachment would be good. Well it's not. It's DUMB. It's foolish and it quite frankly mimics your job to date in Iraq and Afghanistan. In other words: Once again America is doing it "half-ass."

[Your writing is DUmb, DUmmie.]

And let me just mention a few of the other half ass thigs you';ve managed: There was WWII. Your government decided to avoid it for nearly three years. That was fun for the rest of the world. Then there was Korea. Kim Jong Il thanks you. Then there was Vietnam. Thanks again. Then there was Panama. I know first hand about that deal. Then there's Honduras, Nicaragua, Cuba, Greneda... Who else is that you guys have pleasured in F-ing over again? Oh yeah... There was that litle firecracker you dropped on Hiroshima. Which was fine until you decided to committ mass genocide by dropping a similar bomb two days later on Nagasaki.

[Three days later when the Japanese still didn't surrender. But continue with your crazed rant so the doctors will know which rubber room to confine you to...]

And how is it that you all sleep at night, again?

[Soundly.]

Today, you're crying about impeachment. Well, I'm sorry folks. If Saddam wasn't good enough for The Hague than nor is Bush good enough for impeachment. Grow some balls you colony of cowardly twits and don't impeach the ass... March into the Whitehouse, grab him by the hair and drag him to be tried for war crimes. But send him to Iran to face that charge.

[Gnaw on the leather strap. It helps.]

You all think it's so easy. You all think that your constitution is a work of art. Well, my American friends... I have news. It's a piece of trash and not worth the paper it's written on. Your president proved that; I'm not saying anything that you shouldn't already know.

[Thanx for dropping the Leftwing PRETENSION that you really respect the constitution. The fact is the Leftists HATE the constitution. I still remember a leftwing "People's" constitution from years ago composed of a bunch of Bolshevik amendments.]

The ridiculous tenets by which you as Americans guage your right to live forgets to mention a few things. It fails to mention that "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness only apply within your borders. The rest of us around the world couldn't give a flying, fiddler's fidoo what you believe is entitled to you. So, let's start there. You're constitution sucks and your attempt to spread the most flawed document since Hammurabi's code is laughable. How about keeping it to yourselves?

[Again, thanx for your honesty in expressing the widespread Leftwing HATRED of the U.S. Constitution. Somehow when leftwingers express their respect for the Constitution, it rings completely hollow and now we know why.]

Second and most importantly, you as American's believe that individual rights top the needs of the whole. Well, let me say this: My constitution says that I'm entitled to "Peace, Order and Good Government." maybe if the lot of you down there started reading the constitutions and the Charter of Rights of other nations you might get a clue on how to better your country. Sadly, I doubt any of you (liberal or otherwise) have the guts, the brains or the desire to bother looking.

[Yeah, like we need to emulate the rest of the world which mostly has lousy economies, widespread poverty, and low employment. Oh, how we envy the enlightened people of Bangladesh!]

Ultimately, it will only be your cobnstitution and the money of the ruling elite that will protect the madman known as Bush. It speaks volumes about your complicity in this war. As you sit in your homes, watching war on tv you fail to realize one thing about those in Afghanistan and Iraq. They're willing to die for their country. They're willing to conduct absolute civil disobedience to oust a corrupt or "evil" leader. What are you all really willing to do?

[Oh, to be ruled by the Taliban! How our hearts yearn for that day!]

My guess is: You'd all rather sit at home, eat fast food, listen to bad American music, watch reality tv and let Bush go free. THAT my dear American brothers and sisters proves how pathetic you all are as individuals. There are 250 million of you and you can't get your traitorous president put on trial for war crimes.

[Is that you, Mr. Iranian President?]

I used the word pathetic---------Perhaps a correction in terms is appropriate. How about, sad, lazy AND pathetic.

[I have a better word---DUmmie.]

Do the world a favour from now on and leave the civilized nations of the world to guard over the earth. You clowns have screwed it up almost beyond repair and refuse to make ANYONE accountable. That in and of itself gives me license to lump you all together and state that you're all looking as ugly as your president has painted you to be.

[This DUmmie is audtioning to be a fawned over guest on "The View."]

if you wanna clean up your reputations (which will be tough,) get Bush on a plane and have him tried. He deserves no quarter. He deserves the gallows and trust me when I say that: Almost the entire world would agree.

[Get yourself on a plane and have yourself committed.]

personally, I think we americans deserve all the slings and arrows coming our way, in triplicate.

[Stated a sympathetic DUmmie in reply to this insanity. And now to hear from the rest of the mostly sympathetic DUmmies...]

Sadly. I agree.

[Sadly I think you're really happy.]

It's hard to disagree with that.

[You mean hard for a DUmmie to disagree with that.]

you really think our constitution sucks? That it's not worth the paper it's printed on?

[That's what most DUmmies REALLY think.]

So, tell me how our Constitution has honored human rights and civil liberties ... outside our own borders.

[Obviously the concept that NATIONAL constitutions are for NATIONS, not the world at large, is too difficult for this DUmmie to grasp.]

It iscalled reparatons and if we have to pay them, you will as well. We are responsible and the only way to stop it, is to march on the white house en masse. It is an international law principle, by our oaparent silence we condone it

[And which chapter of what international law book prescribes marching on the White House en masse.]

Study America's role in the world this past century and it's hard to disagree with the writer.

[Liberated Europe twice, liberated South Korea, liberated the Philippines from the Japanese, caused the downfall of Communism. Yeah, we have so much to be ashamed of.]

Our history, aka the official hiotory is full of myths and make believe

[You won't need to make believe that you are a cockroach so you can crawl away now.]

Hope the author of this letter keeps writing...
he did a brilliant job.

[The glowing DUmmie reviews are flooding in.]

The content of your political system is that the corporations, the military and the polital elite have manipulated every institution at the expense of US citizens and the planet. If Bush and his goons do not reach the Hague or some other criminal war crimes court, then the author is 100% correct. This shit cannot be forgiven. Genocide is taking place and has been taking place for decades and all this crap about the constiution hasn't changed that reality.

[For all the allegations of genocide, NO specifics are ever given.]

Our country is, and long has been, the biggest terrorist nation on earth.

[You are invited to be the keynote speaker at the '08 Democrat Convention.]

I agree with this Canadian. I've spent the last 2 1/2 years trying to think of a way to pull off just what he recommends: that we march into the White House and take these criminals to trial. I dream about it. I told my 37 year-old son that if something doesn't 'give' soon, I was ready to buy my first gun and go underground. I'm turning into the radical that I wasn't in the '60s!

[A pathetic old hippie trying to relive an SDS fantasy that never was.]

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"Jonathan Alter just said on Olbermann that Kerry is 'through'"

One of the most FUn things to watch over the course of the next year as the Democrat presidential primary season shifts into gear will be the INEVITABLE mental meltdown of John F. Kerry when he finally realizes that he WON'T be nominated. I predict incredible fireworks bursting out of his head as he does NOT go gently into the night. So far it seems that the only person who thinks that Kerry has a chance is...Kerry. A recent poll even stated that he was the LEAST likeable of all the Democrat candidates. Even his Breck Girl '04 running mate stands a better chance than he does. And now the Democrats and liberals are already writing Kerry off as you can see from the title of this DUmmie THREAD, "Jonathan Alter just said on Olbermann that Kerry is 'through'." Yes, it seems that Kerry will be the last to know that he is "through" but at least he will provide incredible comedic entertainment when anger gets the best of him. Here is a guy who has worked almost his entire life for just ONE goal---to become the JFK of Hyannisport and within the next year it will all come crumbling down around him. Oh well, at least he will have Mama T's loving arms open to him for solace as he tries to get his allowance increased. So let us now watch the Left write off Kerry in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, posting this latest DUFU edition from County Kohn in Ireland, is in the [brackets]:

Jonathan Alter just said on Olbermann that Kerry is "through" as a presidential candidate.

[So what else is new?]

Unfortunately, I have to agree with him. such a shame. I really, really like Kerry.

[Such a shame you really, really don't have Kerry's back.]

yeah Cat, it is a shame but it's true I fear

[Better send the news to Mama T before she flushes another 50 million bucks down the Kerry campaign toilet.]

You people really cry about Bobby being taken down by a bullet and then turn and fret about a takedown for a dropped PRONOUN, fer chrissakes?

[All that stood between Kerry and the presidency was "us."]

I'm not counting him out just yet. A lot can happen and he wants in.

[Kerry is outside in the cold looking in at Hillary, Obama, and the Breck Girl dining in the warm flow of the Presidential Primary Restaurant.]

if he could only remember the punchlines to his jokes.....
...then he would make a viable candidate. i'm afraid his career as a comedian will be limited to opening up for michael richards at the laff stop.

[That's the LAUGH FACTORY. My friend and LAUGH FACTORY owner, Jamie Masada, wants you to remember that. L-A-U-G-H F-A-C-T-O-R-Y.]

He's done. He gave it a good run, but not quite good enough.
The swiftboating that went unanswered and the lame joke that came up short would be back to haunt him if he ran again. He's my senator, but I think any chance for a ticket to the WH is over.

[He's done. Chuck the Shmuck swiftboated Kerry.]

I don't think he would have apologized...if his fellow Democrats, always one step behind, hadn't harrased him into it. Hillary Clinton knew what he was talking about but, rather than stand beside him, used it as a cheap opportunity to knock a potential rival. Screw her.

[Bill certainly doesn't.]

Anyone who still thinks Kerry stands a chance is utterly delusional.

[How dare you call Kerry delusional!]

My feet are planted firmly on the ground, and I still support him and I think he has a chance.

[My feet are planted firmly on quicksand.]

He's not a real potential candidate. He's toast asking to be reheated.

[And don't forget to add the refried Boston beans.]

Even if he were the best guy on the planet, he is a lousy candidate. You might as well accept it.

[According to Morgan Fairchild, he is also lousy in the sack.]

The Swiftboat Liars did a tremendous amount of damage. May they all come down with painful boils in nether regions.

[May the fleas of a thousand camels settle between the legs of Mama T's Boy Toy.]

With the money he has, there is NO good reason for not spending some of it on a PR firm to burnish his image and make him seem "just like a real Democrat" (as opposed to seeming more like a Republican in Drag).

[Maybe Kerry could hire Lonesome Rhodes to teach him how to smile warmly.]

In 2004, just about everybody I spoke with told me they were voting for Kerry not because he was a great Senator, but because Bush sucked so much.

[So they voted for Not Bush, Not Kerry.]

That said, the 2008 season hasn't started yet. This is lame duck season, and once 2007 starts in earnest, I think you'll start hearing a lot more from Kerry, and all of them, about their visions for America. That said, he has presented several good ideas in speeches over the past year, but they were only covered by MA media.

[You're gonna be back in television. Only it won't be quite the same as it was before. There'll be a reasonable cooling-off period and then somebody will say: "Why don't we try him again in a inexpensive format. People's memories aren't too long." And you know, in a way, he'll be right. Some of the people will forget, and some of them won't. Oh, you'll have a show. Maybe not the best hour or, you know, top 10. Maybe not even in the top 35. But you'll have a show. It just won't be quite the same as it was before. Then a couple of new fellas will come along. And pretty soon, a lot of your fans will be flocking around them. And then one day, somebody'll ask: "Whatever happened to, a, whatshisname? You know, the one who was so big. The number-one fella a couple of years ago. He was famous. How can we forget a name like that? Oh by the way, have you seen, a, Barry Mills? I think he's the greatest thing since Will Rogers."]

Kerry's lack of traction speaks to so much of what is wrong with the political culture in America.

[Is Kerry's lack of a sense of humor our fault too?]

Betcha Barrick becomes their Democrat of choice in 2008.

[Sounds like the name of a new comic strip: "Betcha Barrick."]

John Kerry is probably one of the most courageous, if not the most courageous, people in the entire U.S. Senate.

[John Kerry is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life. Raymond Shaw too.]

(You can now access the DUmmie FUnnies simply by typing "DUmmieFUnnies.Com" into your URL address box.)

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KOmmies Slam America Now That Election Is Over

The midterm elections are over and now the Daily Kos KOmmies can tell us what they REALLY think, namely that they HATE America. You can see this hatred expressed in this KOmmie THREAD titled, "Calling Bullshit on America." The author sees as BS almost everything about America, even things that no longer exist or never existed in the first place. And if things here are so terrible as the author of this thread, One Pissed Off Liberal, states, then he should leave and enjoy the wonderful freedoms of Cuba or North Korea. Of course, he won't leave because most liberal complaints are just BS. They will gripe about how horrible things are in America but you never see them leaving this country permanently. Instead they will loudly gripe about how oppressive America is while, ironically, enjoying the freedom to publicly crybaby in such a manner. So let us now watch One Pissed Off Liberal enjoy the constitutional freedom to tell us how lousy America is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, Calling Bullshit on KOmmieland, is in the [brackets]:

Calling Bullshit on America

[From somewhere within America...]

Our nation, culture, and political system are all steeped in lies, contradictions, distortions, and propaganda – in other words, bullshit! It has taken me much of my life to shed the misconceptions and outright lies that have been drilled into me from birth, to develop and fine-tune my bullshit detectors, to learn to see anything with any clarity at all.

[KOmmie One Pissed Off Liberal fine tuned his bs detectors and detected the wonderful Workers Paradise of North Korea in stark contrast to oppressed America.]

The government has powerful tools with which to manipulate our views, circumscribe our information, and mold our opinions (including the MSM and all the propaganda arms of the government itself) – and they use them with great zeal. The full extent to which the ruling class wants to hoodwink the rest of us cannot be overestimated. Their worst fear is that we will learn the truth.

[One Pissed Off Liberal has such finely fined tuned bs detectors that he is able to perceive that PBS, NBC, and SeeBS are all under the direct control of the EVIL Bush Regime.]

My personal view is that only the truth finally matters, and that only the truth can set us free. I’ll just touch on some highlights to make my point. Please feel free to add any bullshit I overlook to the pile.

[How about if we add this KOmmie thread to the heaping pile of BS?]

Slavery was bullshit.

[Ended in America BY Americans over 140 years ago. However, if you feel nostalgic towards slavery you can still find it in the entire country of North Korea and parts of Africa.]

Manifest Destiny was bullshit.

[No Manifest Destiny, no San Francisco. Think about it.]

Union busting was (and remains) bullshit.

[Unions weren't busted. They were mostly made irrelevant by economic change but I'll allow you to continue to live in your Great Depression fantasies.]

Segregation and racism was (and remains) bullshit.

[Segregation eliminated mostly peacefully over 40 years ago. However, in Muslim countries, non-Muslims face worse things than segregation, namely death.]

Duck and Cover was bullshit.

[Yeah, imagine how many young lives were destroyed by Duck and Cover drills in the classroom. Actually, Duck and Cover might be something to resurrect in today's dangerous public schools.]

MKULTRA was bullshit.

[According to the KOMmies, MKULTRA was a CIA mind control program of the 1950s. And what mindless control program did you graduate from?]

The murders of JFK, RFK, and MLK were bullshit.

[Americans who were killed by Americans...except in the case of RFK who was killed by a Palestinian. Of course I don't expect One Pissed Off Liberal to call BS on Palestinians.]

The Gulf of Tonkin Incident was bullshit.

[So will you be calling BS on DEMOCRAT LBJ and Robert STRANGE McNamara?]

The Reagan Presidency was bullshit.

[If you want to call incredible economic growth and the downfall of Communism BS then be my guest.]

The reign of Bush I was bullshit.

[Didn't you get the latest leftwing memo? You're now supposed to PRAISE Bush I in order to show contrast with his son, Bush II.]

The stolen election of 2000 was bullshit.

[True. That concept that the 2000 election was stolen is BS.]

9/11 was bullshit.

[It never happened. Those planes crashing into the Twin Towers were only the imaginary result of an MKULTRA CIA mind control program.]

Tax cuts for billionaires was bullshit.

[FUnnie, I never saw Warren Buffet nor George Soros return any of their increased tax cut revenues to the government.]

The joining of church and state was bullshit.

[They were joined only in your fervid MKULTRA mind control imagination.]

The trashing of our environment is bullshit.

[So which liberal celeb will the the FIRST to quit jetting around in environmentally wasteful Gulfstream aircraft?]

Healthcare in America is bullshit.

[Wait in LONG lines like Canada and Britain.]

The stolen election of 2004 was bullshit.

[More MKULTRA acid trip mind control?]

The fascist takeover of America is bullshit.

[Especially since it never happened.]

We’ve all been lied to, to the point of absurdity. These days, there is almost nothing true in what we are told. It saddens me, it humiliates me, and it angers me.

[It's HORRIBLE here. Your one-way ticket to Pyongyang is waiting for you at the ticket counter.]

I am sad that we do not have a government of the people, by the people, and for the people as we were meant to have.

[So sad. Things are sooooo much better in Cuba. So goooooo!!!]

I am humiliated that the world knows America as a bully, an imperialist, and a torturer – and that after all that has been done; we may never salvage our national reputation again in my lifetime.

[So much better in the MUzzie countries where you get executed for the crime of converting to another religion.]

I am angry that our government represents the wealthy, the greedy, and the special interests – and that virtually no one represents the best interest of the American people – and that the lip service given to same always seems to boil down to the same old thing – bullshit.

[Li'l Kim of North Korea is wiping away a tear in sympathy for your sentiment.]

I am heartsick that our founding fathers tried so hard to bequeath us a great nation, but because of greedy, immoral bastards like the Bushes, what we got instead was bullshit.

[I'm heartsick that you haven't left this horrible America left. And now let us hear your fellow KOmmies slam America now that the elections are safely over...]

A Tsunami of Freedom™ is spreading from this diary.

[More like a Tsunami of BS is spreading from this KOmmie diary.]

And to those freepers out there who would distort the message in this diary to one of "contempt for America" -- I would say, look at what has occurred in the last 6 years. Where the f*ck has "freedom fries" gotten you? There are times when great countries should be ashamed. There are times when great countries should step back and reflect on the horror and devastation that they have wrought upon the world. These are one of those times.

[Let us step back and reflect on the wonderful freedoms of the MUzzie countries where practicing freedom of religion is a capital offense.]

i wish someone would say this at 7pm on all the major broadcast networks and cable channels simultaneously

[Actually they already do, only a bit more subtly.]

Keith Olberman could run it all the other networks then can "report" that KO was arrested because of the bullshit he was broadcasting.

[Too bad for your theory that KO is free to broadcast BS.]

Fair enough, though one could say the same about high-fructose corn syrup.

[Hmmm... Let us now see how One Pissed Off Liberal takes some rather mild criticism of his Hate America diary...]

You condescending prick! How dare you come in and stink up this thread by repeatedly insulting me and anyone who likes my work? What an overbearing ass you are! Get a life you venal, self-righteous asshole!

[It seems that One Pissed Off Liberal is INTOLERANT of any criticism whatever when someone calls BS on his post. That poster was lucky that One Pissed Off Liberal wasn't in charge of the country or he would have already been placed in a Re-Education Camp...or worse.]

call me "BLAME AMERICA FIST".

[Is that you, ben burch?]

OPOL is pissed off, and that's a good thing, because we need to be pissed off. Activists do some of their best work when they're pissed off.

[And when writing under the influence of acid.]

I think it falls under the 'talk truth to power' solution. Or maybe raging against the machine, maybe howling at the moon.

[Mostly the latter.]

It is a putdown of America, in whole. I wouldn't have a problem if the diary had a tone along the lines of, "Even though we've done a lot of wrong in our history, we're still a great country because of...". Tell me what this accomplishes? All it does is preach to the choir in an inflammatory manner. And it doesn't really give much of an impression that the diarist cares much about fixing the country. To what ideal does he want it fixed? He sure as hell doesn't give any answers.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Critical thinking is bullshit!

[The motto of KOmmieland.]

I just returned from my 3 mile power walk... hoping I might shed some of the memories this diary brought to the surface. People in the park must have thought I was madman, walking as fast I could with tears streaming down my face, all the while mumbling to myself and singing that damn song!

[People in the park thought you were a madman merely for power walking. Why is it that ONLY liberals power walk? It is the NERDIEST form of excercise imaginable what with the exaggeraged long steps and the arms swinging high into the air grasping the power walk weights. A lot of folks think it was the DUkakis tank ride in the Snoopy cap that was his undoing in the 1988 election. It really happened a few weeks earlier when a TV camera caught DUkakis power walking outdoors. From that point on, his poll numbers began a steep decline. ANYBODY power walking will meet with public disdain. And rightly so. It's even worse than wearing a waist pack in public.]

Malcolm X was also killed in 1965, after his visit to Mecca.

[Killed by MUzzies.]

And as far as these diaries not being constructive or making we Kossacks look like anti-Americans, I do indeed call bullshit. America needs to look hard in the mirror, expel these demons, accept them for what they are, and then start the healing!

[KOmmies as exorcists. Somehow it does NOT compute.]

How does one read this as not anti-American?

[Good question you LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

When I was trying to get back to sleep after letting the dog out in the middle of the night last night, Abraham, Martin and John was running through my head and I suddenly realized that the same people who were in charge then are in charge now (not for Abraham, of course). I must have been channeling OPOL. My almost 80 yo mother is hoping that RFK Jr. won't ever decide to run for office because she is afraid he wouldn't live through it.

[The people in charge then (1960s) were DEMOCRATS. They were in charge of the White House, House, and Senate. And my mother is hoping that RFK Jr. won't ever decide to run for office because she is afraid his stammering voice wouldn't live through it.]

For Ginsberg, who was in a long term adult relationship with Peter Orlovsky, his NAMBLA membership has been explained in the book Screaming With Joy as a free speech issue. There is no evidence that Ginsberg was himself a pedophile, and it is unfortunate that his reputation is tainted with this association - it's not unlike associating Ted Kennedy with Chappaquiddick, or John Kerry with "Hanoi" Jane Fonda

[GASP! What a bizarre association to make! Who could ever possibly associate Ted Kennedy with Chappaqiddick?]

Patriotism to a flag is dangerous, while patriotism to a country adhering to basic fundamental American values can set us free.

[I guess the concept of a flag as a SYMBOL of the country is a bit too complex for this KOmmie.]

Consumerism is bullshit. Buying a bunch of bullshit from bullshit stores who pay bullshit wages when all that happens is the collective accumulation of more bullshit when people in this country are still sleeping in plastic bags and boxes is f*cking bullshit and it pisses me off.

[Barnes & Noble where John Edwards is signing his book is paying "bs" wages LESS than that of Wal-Mart.]

Cowboys were not wild and free. They were not free agents. They were industrial workers. Poorly paid. With horrible working conditions. And no benefits. They were only free to quit. And possibly starve, or turn to crime. The reality is that they were on a level with the man on the factory floor. Except they got to ride a horse. Yipppe aye oh kai ay.

[They should have formed an International Cow Workers Union.]

This diary is such a load of smelly bullshit. I don't know if you ever seen Soviet propaganda of what America is like, but it doesn't look much different than this. What this diary tells me about the diarist is how much he/she lives in a pampered little world where you can be a little spoiled brat and look at the shiny new red Dodge Viper your parents got you and say you hate your family because it's not black. I don't think people in the floodplains of Bangladesh have the privilege of writing diaries saying 'Calling Bullshit on Bangladesh', or a 12 year old boy who had their hands chopped off in civil war in Liberia is going to go online and write a diary 'Calling Bullshit on Liberia', or a 10 year old girl in Uganda who is kidnapped and turned into a rebel army's sex slave can write a diary 'Calling Bullshit on Uganda'. But a spoiled brat in the US can go online and write this little emotional tantrum.

[Prepare for your KOmmie Tombstoning ceremony.]

Seriously, do you wake up each morning trying to figure out how to be even more over the top and shrill? Because while your first few diaries were intriguing, this is fast becoming self-parody. Here's what I get out of these things -- you are angry and a lot of people like pictures. That's pretty much it.
If the point is to "take your country back", then I fail to see how any of this is constructive or in any way furthers that goal. If the point is merely to show how angry you are, then congrats. Mission accomplished. I get it. You're angry. I'll be interested in seeing how you funnel that anger into something constructive. Because the "I'm sooooo angry!!!!!" thing is really starting to get old.

[That was Head KOmmie Kos, worried about this diary from the PR POV. Too late, Kos, we know where you and your fellow KOmmies are REALLY coming from.]

i see your point however kos i see this everywhere. his rage is certainly rightful, as are the rest of us, but what other ways are there to change things and be constructive when you are but one person? how does one person turn everything that is going down the shitter in this country around? his anger is a reflection for hope. at least that's what i gather.

[A KOmmie telling Kos that One Pissed Off Liberal REALLY does speak for the KOmmies which he does.]

Kos, if you post some negative comment for a diarist, it would be called as an abusive power of the landlord. Especially in this case OPOL has done nothing wrong here.

[OPOL speaks for most KOmmies and even for Head KOmmie Kos...if he dares to admit it.]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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"Al From is a cancer on the Democratic Party"

It's du Sextidi de Frimaire and already the Democrat Jacobins are in the midst of their Reign of Terror of sending their own Girondists to the metaphorical guillotine. The object of their wrath in this case is Al From of the Democratic Leadership Council. So how bad do the DUmmies want to purge From and the DLC Girondists from their party? The title of this DUmmie THREAD will give you a hint: "Al From is a cancer on the Democratic Party." So let us now watch the Democrats begin their internal Reign of Terror in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who just might or might not be the Scarlet Pimpernel, is in the [brackets]:

Al From is a cancer on the Democratic Party

[A counter-revolutionary! The National Constituent Assembly has spoken. No need for trial. To the guillotine!]

The DLC is the reason that the Democrats lost the Congress in 1994 and were unable to get it back until this year. His brand of 'don't rock the boat and let's go collect some of that good corporate money' nearly destroyed the Democrats.

[A DUmmie Robespierre reads off the charges against Al From and the DLC Gironists.]

His pathetic attempts to try and swoop in and claim credit for the win in the 2006 midterms is disgusting. That man is part of the reason that we went to war in Iraq and that some Dems didn't push hard enough to oppose Bush in both his terms.

[Let the purges begin!]

The DLC should be eliminated. It is a cancer on the Democratic Party. It whorishly panders to the corporate world and explains itself by saying that if it fattens up the table of corporate America long enough, the people of this country might just catch a few crumbs as they fall off the table.

[Eliminate the DLC by the Ninth of Thermidore!]

From is an example of a politician who knows nothing, stands for nothing and serves nothing but greed and deception. The sooner we expunge bastards like that from the Democratic Party, the sooner we can start to concentrate on programs that actually help working America.

What a lying, two-faced, incompetent, bullying piece of shit bastard. I hope he burns in hell with the rest of the 'do nothing, cuz it might offend someone, someday' wing of the Democratic Party.

[So does this mean you don't like Al From? And now to hear from the rest of the DUmmie Jacobins...]

I watched "So the Nation goes" last night on the IFC On Demand. I was screaming at the TV and giving the finger to Begala and McAwful. My god I never heard such shit in my life. Of course it was all Kerry's fault, lame bastards. Of course they brought up how f*cking good Clinton was, but didn't mention that he only won with 43% of the vote.

[Democrat factionalism is FUn to watch!]

I hate the DLC. They are bastards. They never take a stand on anything, except when it makes a few friends richer. They can't support a withdrawal from Iraq, but that might be a risk. They are for unrestrictive free trade, cuz it's good for their rich friends and so forth. I have just had it with their inability to take a stand on anything.

[My pet DUmmie Ants are going to be VERY entertaining when Hillary wins primary after primary in '08.]

They have a phone number. Shall we organize a phone tree. We take turns, one or two of us calls them every day to point out how wrong they are about given topic of the day. ????

["Hello DLC! You are WRONG! I hate you!!!"]

Our only true hope is for a real Independent to run that echoes our cause and still appeals to the more moderate or conservative that dwell among us. I do find it sickening that they (From, Rahl, Carvelle, etc.) have to try and diminish others to elevate themselves.

[Bow before the Goddess Hillary!]

Make no mistake, my view of the DLC is derisive because of their corrosive effect on the body politic and triumphalism and political authoritarianism.

[Make no mistake, your view of the DLC is highly entertaining in its paranoia.]

Dean is an independent DNC chair, not under the sway of the Clintons. Unlike Ron Brown, who guided the DNC toward a Clinton victory in 1992, Dean doesn’t play the usual power games. Hence, the Clintons would like him out, and the sooner the better. Carville, Greenberg, and Emmanuel, (DLC) among others, are doing their bidding.

[Howard Dean better stay away from Fort Marcy Park.]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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Katie Couric Interviews Mark Foley's Priest

This is the latest in my series of blatant self-shilling for the position of writer on the Fox News comedy show due to air soon. In this attempt at self-promotion, I revisit the Katie Couric interview with Mark Foley's priest. I watched it when it first aired and was shocked at how much clinical detail it got into on a national news show. Therefore, with only slight exaggeration, I revisit that interview with this skit. And, yeah, I know this material is somewhat dated but ANYTHING I post now would be dated by the time the Fox News comedy show airs so it might as well be outdated with this Couric interview which I found to be AMAZING...

(Katie Couric is standing at the set of her CBS news show. She is interviewing the voice of Mark Foley's priest, Rev. Anthony Mercieca, whom we hear on a phone line.)

KATIE COURIC: Father, I understand that you have told a Florida newspaper that you did have an intimate two-year relationship with former Congressman Mark Foley when he was a teenage altar boy? Can you describe that relationship for us?

REV. ANTHONY MERCIECA: Yeah, we used to go out together to the games, when I, when my time permitted, you know? And we used to go to the ballgames and to the wrestling matches together and we used to go eat out.

KC: And this was in Lakeworth, Florida?

AM: Yes. Yes.


KC: But when the relationship is described as intimate, what exactly does that mean to you, Father?

AM: Well, intimate, it's like when you are with your brother or so, you know. Like you don't have any, any ... it's like when you are with a member with your family, you know? You don't ... you're really joyous and that's it, you know?

KC: In this article, you described a number of encounters that you believe might, Mark Foley might have misconstrued as sexually inappropriate. Can you describe some of those for us?

AM: No we used to go to the sauna bath, you know, there was a Finnish community there in Lakeworth and we used to go there to take a bath, you know. And maybe at the park, you know, you would jump in the lake, you know. And there was no one.

KC: So you're saying you went skinny-dipping together, you took saunas together. According to this newspaper account, it also says that you massaged him when he was naked, and you were naked in the same room on overnight trips?

AM: We used to do, like the athletes you know, he'll stay with his towel on and go on the bench and I will massage his neck and his back, you know. Like they do to athletes, you know?

KC: Father, you don't think that was inappropriate behavior for a priest and a teenage altar boy? People hearing this, even if it was innocent, would think it at the very least creepy and at the very most highly inappropriate?

AM: Massage parlors exist, you know. I don't know, so ...

KC: According to this article, you claim that once when you were in a drug-induced stupor, there was an incident that happened that you could not or cannot clearly remember that might have gone too far. Can you tell us what you mean by that and what you do remember from that encounter?

AM: I had taken some pills, had taken some alcohol and sort of ... that was drugs, not that we used drugs. You know?

KC: And what happened?

AM: That's what I can't remember, you know. And I guess that's what maybe Mark is thinking that was something bad.

KC: And what do you believe might have happened?

AM: I can't say, you know. If you are out ...

KC: Are you still claiming that these encounters were all perfectly innocent?

AM: Well I mean at the time we didn't think they were malicious, you know?

KC: I'm not talking about malicious, were they inappropriate in your view?

AM: It was maybe more spontaneous ...

KC: Did you ever massage Mark Foley on the inside of his thighs.

AM: No, never. Okay, maybe once or twice I did massage the inside of his thighs.

KC: How about his buttocks?

AM: Mark had very well developed buttocks.

KC: I mean did you ever massage his buttocks?

AM: No, never. Okay maybe once or twice.

KC: Did you use hot rubbing oils to massage the inside of his thighs and his hot young buttocks?

AM: It might have been olive oil.

KC (groaning): Oh my God! That sounds soooo sexy! Did you whisper to Mark while rubbing him with hot olive oil?

AM: No, never. Okay maybe once or twice.

(Katie is moaning in ecstasy and is rubbing herself excitedly.)

KC: OH! OH! OH! I've haven't been this turned on since I was anally probed with a colonoscopy tube!

AM: I absolutely deny that I ever anally probed young Mark with a tube!

KC: Thank you for this interview, Father. Ooooooh! Oooooh!

(Katie continues moaning and rubbing herself, completely oblivious to the fact that she anchoring a national network news broadcast. After about ten seconds of moaning in ecstasy, Katie suddenly snaps out of it and returns to normal as if nothing happened.)

KC: After the break, we take an in-depth look at Brad & Angelina's latest excursion to a Third World country.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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"Pelosi wants to pick Alcee Hastings for Intel char?"

Have you ever had a teacher in school who was just so flat out nuts that her/his decisions made no sense whatever? I know I did. In the ninth grade I had a wacko Spanish teacher who perceived all sorts of minor slights she was receiving from both the school and society in general. She never ceased blabbering about how horrible the USA was and how WONDERFUL Fidel's Cuba was in comparison. What made this especially NUttie is that the teacher was a Cuban-American. Anyway, we students kept telling her that if she thought things were so great in Cuba then maybe she should move there. Guess what? That is exactly what she did. One day a new Spanish teacher showed up in class and informed us that the previous teacher had split for Cuba. Sometime after that we found out the Cuban government quickly imprisoned her because there could be no way a Cuban from the states would move to Cuba out of love for that Communist regime. They figured that she had to be some sort of spy. What they didn't factor in was the nuttiness element in that the this teacher moved to Cuba for the simple reason that she was FLAT OUT NUTS!!! This is also the way to analyze the recent maneuverings of the incoming Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. Don't look for any complicated political motiviations behind her actions. Instead she is making really lousy decisions because, like my former Spanish teacher, Pelosi is FLAT OUT NUTS!!! I mean how else to describe her fervent opposition to the election of Steny Hoyer to the point of threating Democrat House members who voted for him instead of her personal choice, the ABSCAM corrupt Jack Murtha? It seems that Hoyer and Pelosi were Capitol Hill interns together over 40 years ago and something must have happened to push Pelosi over the edge where Hoyer was concerned. Was it a date gone bad or simply that Pelosi felt threatened by Hoyer's ambition? Who knows but what is a fact is that her Hoyer Hate caused Pelosi to act completely irrationally. And now we come to an even more crazy maneuver on the part of Pelosi. Instead of supporting Jane Harman, the ranking Democrat member of the House Intelligence Committee, as the Chair of that Committee, Pelosi is supporting the formerly impeached Alcee Hastings for that slot. So what was Jane Harman's "crime" that made Pelosi HATE her so much that she is about to make yet another crazy decision? It could well be something completely trivial like maybe Harman walked into Congress one day wearing the same type of dress as Pelosi. Even the DUmmies are astounded by Pelosi's total irrationality as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Pelosi wants to pick Alcee Hastings for Intel char? Are you F*CKING KIDDING ME?." The misspelled "char" is, ironically, the correct word to use since Pelosi will be charring the reputation of the Democrats with her choice for chair. BTW, Pelosi herself voted to impeach Hastings years ago but I guess her irrational Harmon Hate overrides any objections to corruption as we saw in her Hoyer Hate episode. So let us now watch the DUmmie jaws drop as they look on in Bolshevik Red at Nancy Pelosi charring the Congressional Democrats while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that the teacher replacing my NUttie Spanish teacher turned out to be equally NUttie, is in the [brackets]:

Pelosi wants to pick Alcee Hastings for Intel char? Are you F*CKING KIDDING ME?

[She wanted a great encore for her comedy act of supporting corrupt Jack Murtha as Majority Leader.]

Just heard a blip about this. Did I hear right?

[You have to hear it more than once since it is so hard to believe.]

I thought Jane Harmon was the ranking member. Not sure about this though.

[I don't know about Jane Harmon but Jane HARMAN is the ranking member on that committee.]

can she remove both Harman and Hastings from the committee? that might be the best thing to do if possible.

[That would be the best thing to do from the standpoint of Republicans.]

Any reason she couldn't bring in Dennis Kucinich? That would be rich.

[That would be hilarious.]

what specifically do you have against him? I'm curious.

effin' crook. f*ck 'im.

[Hastings or Murtha?]

Was Hastings removed, or was this the only impeachment of him and the impeachment resulted in an acquittal?

Impeached AND removed by a democratic congress.

[And then voted into Congress to join the Democrats who hailed him as one of their own.]

"When the House impeached federal judge Alcee Hastings in 1989, 16 of the 17 counts had to do with a bribery allegation dating to 1981, as we detailed yesterday. But one count was different, the National Review's Byron York noted a few days ago, and it cuts to the very core of whether Hastings is suitable to chair the House intelligence committee."

[Pelosi's Harman Hate must be burning red hot to support the impeached Hastings.]

Thank you, much appreciated. We mustn't ignore the 16 counts. Saying, "Oh, but he was acquitted unanimously on the 17th on weak evidence"... good lord.

[Aw give the guy a break. Being guilty on only 16 out of 17 counts isn't so bad.]

I trust Pelosi enough to think she knows what she's doing structuring the house the way she wants, and I don't think (as the M$M media is reporting) her problems with Harman or Hoyer have to do with "Jealousy" or "bad blood". Bullshit.

[I BEEEEEEELEEEEEEVE in Nancy Pelosi's rationality!!!]

So much for the "cleanest Congress in history"

[And this DUmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

Look, it doesn't matter a whit whether he was innocent. Public perception counts, and installing him as chair would be a fucking disaster. It doesn't take much in the way of brains to figure that out, sherlock. Harman is also tainted, but Reyes is third in line and there's also Rush Holt.

[And Bozo the Clown is also waiting in the wings.]

Public perception COUNTS. Call Pelosi's office about this! We cannot allow this to stand.

[Please don't ruin the comedy act.]

the public is never going to get beyond the FACT that Hastings was impeached and removed from the fed judiciary by Congress, and a dem congress at that.

[Yeah, the public does seem to be petty over trivial matters like that.]

In 1989, the Democratic-controlled U.S. House of Representatives took up the case, and Hastings was impeached for bribery and perjury by a vote of 413-3. Voters to impeach included Reps. Nancy Pelosi, Steny Hoyer, John Conyers and Charles Rangel. He was then convicted by the United States Senate, becoming the sixth Judge in the history of the United States to be removed from office by the Senate. The Senate had the option to forbid Hastings from ever seeking federal office again, but did not do so. Alleged co-conspirator William Borders went to jail again for refusing to testify in the impeachment proceedings, but was later given a full pardon by Bill Clinton during the end of his Presidency.

[And who got the sudden uptick in his bank account for that pardon? Billy's brother or one of Hillary's brothers?]

My questions are: Why did Clinton pardon Borders? How did Hastings become a member of Congress four years after impeachment? How is it that he has been sitting on these committees for over a decade with no flap?

[Answers: $$$$, stupid voters, and supportive Democrats.]

The Democrats need someone who is 1. Clean. 2.Clearly willing to stand up to Bush and 3.Qualified to do the job.

[You'll only be able to find someone who can meet criteria #2.]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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Steny Hoyer Seeks Protection Help From The Godfather

Since Fox News is planning a new comedy show, I will occasionally be posting skit ideas as part of a blatant shilling attempt to get a writing position with that show. This is the first of my self-promoting attempts. I got the basic premise of this idea from Rush Limbaugh who recently speculated that with Steny Hoyer seeking protection for his supporters against the wrath of Nancy Pelosi, that it sounded like the Mafia was running the Congress. In that spirit, I now present a satirical script in which Hoyer seeks help from the Godfather in protecting his supporters...

(Steny Hoyer enters the office of Don Vito Corleone. He kisses the ring on the Godfather's hand and sits down.)

CORLEONE: We've known each other many years, but this is the first time you came to me for counsel, for help. I can't remember the last time that you invited me to your house for a cup of coffee, even though my wife is godmother to your only child. But let's be frank here: you never wanted my friendship. And uh, you were afraid to be in my debt.

HOYER: I didn't want to get into trouble.

CORLEONE: I understand. You found paradise in Congress, had a safe seat, made a good living. The Capitol police protected you; and there were courts of law. And you didn't need a friend of me. But uh, now you come to me and you say -- "Don Corleone give me justice." -- But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married, and you uh ask me to do protection, for money.

HOYER: I ask you for justice. My supporters will suffer greatly at the hands of the Evil Lady, Nancy Pelosi.

CORLEONE: But your supporters are still alive.

HOYER: She will make them suffer. Please, she must suffer as she has threatened to make my supporters suffer or else she must be made to disappear...How much shall I pay you?

CORLEONE: Steny...Steny... What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? Had you come to me in friendship, then this scum that threatened your supporters would be suffering this very day. And that by chance if an honest man such as yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you.

HOYER (bowing and kissing hand): Be my friend -- Godfather?

CORLEONE: Good... Some day, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But uh, until that day -- accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day.

HOYER (leaving office): Grazie, Godfather.

CORLEONE (to Tom Hagen): Give this brown bag of $50,000 to Murtha. I want reliable people; people that aren't gonna be carried away and can redeploy Pelosi safely far away from Congress.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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"Rangel needs to be taken out in the 2008 primary"

Remember when Congressman Charles Rangel introduced a proposal in 2003 to re-instate the draft? When it came to a vote, Rangel voted AGAINST his own draft bill. If you thought Rangel's draft proposal was nothing more than a cheap publicity stunt, you would not be wrong. Of course, Rangel was in the minority party back then. However, now that the Democrats are in the majority in Congress, Rangel has proposed the SAME cheap publicity stunt over the draft again only to be slapped down by Nancy Pelosi who publicly nixed the idea. Keep in mind that Charles Rangel is not just some ordinary forgettable congressman who can be allowed to fade into obscurity. Rangel is now the incoming Chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee which is perhaps the most powerful committee in Congress. If he keeps up such antics, Congressman Rangel is sure to provide some GREAT material for the DUmmie FUnnies in the near future for which we heartily thank him. Of course, what is good for the DUmmie FUnnies is BAD for the DUmmies as you can see in this threatening THREAD titled, "Rangel needs to be taken out in the 2008 primary." So let us now watch the DUmmies slam Rangel for making the Democrats look like, well, DUmmies in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thanking the Congressman for the many laughs he is sure to provide for the next couple of years, is in the [brackets]:

Rangel needs to be taken out in the 2008 primary

[Good luck. You would would have a better chance of catching a leperchaun.]

If he doesn't quit pulling this crap he has to be removed. He's only hurting the party now, so let's get rid of him. We don't need idiots in high ranking positions who hand the Repukes a great issue on a silver platter.

[No. No. We need Charles Rangel right where he is as the CHAIRMAN of the House Ways and Means Committee. Why would you want to ruin our comedic entertainment?]

It's an anti-war tactic. Why is that so hard for people to understand? It puts the pro-war idiots on the spot and makes people think.

[You call it a tactic but most call it a stunt.]

Then why not propose a bill to cut off funds for the war instead? Or to demand a time table for withdrawl? THE MAJORITY IS ALREADY ANTI-WAR. That's why we won our majority. Now let's actally try to KEEP it instead of scaring voters off. Anything that helps the Repukes electoral-wise is stupid, and this is it. DUMP RANGEL.

[Rangel '08. Keep him in place in order to continue embarrassing the Democrats.]

I think he's just trying to shake the American conscientiousness up.

[By providing belly laughs. Rangel supported his own draft bill...until he voted against his own draft bill.]

Because proposing to cut off funding for our troops will GUARANTEE the...Democrats will lose their majority come 2008, and perpetuate the lie that Democrats can't be trusted with national security. Do you want that?

[Yup!]

For the same reason Republicans put forth the proposal to withdraw troops immediately. They forced the Democrats' hand and that was probably a large part of Rangel's intent.

[Thanx again, Charlie!]

Ever hear of "support the troops"? If funds are cut, then the repukes and whore media will spin it and SUCCEED in saying that the dems don't support our troops... That's an even crazier idea and will NEVER pass...

[Now that the Democrats are in the majority they are in a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" situation. The result is starting to look like they don't know what to do. And who says the election results were all bad news? It is going to be FUn to watch the Democrats twist every which way for the next couple of years.]

Maybe Rangel will have the balls to vote in favor of his own stupidity this time Or, maybe not. Again. This is just plain stupid. Just cut off the f*cking funds.

[Or, maybe not.]

Thank God Charlie Rangel doesn't turn to DU for guidance.

[It sounds like he already does.]

Rangel is a f*cking idiot. He should focus on actually ending the war instead of scaring people to get them anti-war when the majority already is anti-war.

[I wonder if this DUmmie has the guts to campaign against Rangel in Harlem in '08 and call him that.]

Know anyone in the 15th district which includes Harlem, who would vote against him? Not me...

[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

My Republican father...tried pulling this crap today, telling my 14 yr old son, "the liberals are trying to bring back the draft". I overheard him, and just about blew a gasket. The 'liberals' consist of Charlie Rangel, JUST Charlie Rangel. And I find it the height of irony that those who supported this illegal war launched by a pack of criminals based on lies now want to make hay over someone saying that ALL the people of this country should be expected to make sacrifices. What exactly WON'T Republicans stoop to? And just how in the hell is anyone supposed to believe there are any Republican that aren't anything but corrupt, selfish pricks when even those that tout themselves as 'moderate' and 'rational' spout such utter White House issued bullshit talking points. And this isn't the first time Rangel has proposed this, so why in the hell is everyone getting their diapers in a bunch now?

[Methinks you need to do a diaper check on yourself.]

Unless you are truly prepared to vote FOR a draft, it's an idiotic topic. Otherwise, you are creating fodder for the fools on the right. Someone tell me specifically which Democrats are going to vote FOR a draft. We all know the answer is nobody. So why even open up this can of worms? We just look stupid. I can't believe Rangel is pulling this bullshit play again. Just de-fund the war. I guess that is too direct an approach for a "genius" like Rangel.

[Even Charlie Rangel won't vote for his own draft bill.]

The topic of "de-funding" is worse than a topic leading to a discussion of shared sacrifice when it comes to war. "De-funding" would be sold as leaving troops on the battlefield naked and defenseless.

[DUmmiecrats twisting themselves into pretzels not knowing which way to turn. This will be the theme in Congress for the next two years.[

De-funding would also keep them alive at home. I can live with that. But keep pushing for the draft, America's moms will love us for it in '08.

[De-fund or draft? Draft or de-fund? What DO we do other than twist ourselves helplessly into pretzels?]

and abandoning them on the battlefield won't?....because...
that is exactly how it will be sold to the American people.....just remember Kerry's 87 billion dollar vote comments.

[John Kerry voted for the 87 billion before he...well, you know the rest.]

Rangel was elected with 94 percent of the vote. That's right ninety-four percent.

[And the other 6 percent were confused by the butterfly ballot.]

It's funny how all of these DU Primary Warriors never live in the district of the politician they want to take out.

[So FUnnie that I am wiping back the tears from the bellylaugh.]

Counterrevolutionary elements must be purged for the good of the people! All hail the glorious people's revolution!

[The DUmmiecrats Disunited,
Will always be Defeated!]

(You can now access the DUmmie FUnnies simply by typing "DUmmieFUnnies.Com" into your URL address box.)

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"IT'S GOT TO BE SECRETLY BOUGHT"

(A little change of format in this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies... In yesterday's EDITION of the DUmmie FUnnies I noted that John Edwards' 6 year-old son had to be carefully taught to make fun of poorer kids for wearing shoes sold at Wal-Mart. I suggested that a certain Lutheran songmeister write a song parody on this theme based on the tune of You've Got To Be Carefully Taught from the musical play, "South Pacific." I was referring, of course, to Charles Henrickson a Lutheran minister from St. Louis who has a penchant for writing song parodies, the number of which are legion. Well, even Charles exceeded my expectations with this TERRIFIC song parody titled, "IT'S GOT TO BE SECRETLY BOUGHT." I am sure you will agree that this HILARIOUS song parody MUST be given the widest play possible. It would be perfect for play on radio talk shows such as Rush Limbaugh, Laura Ingraham, Sean Hannity, etc.. So without further adieu, I now present Henrickson's "IT'S GOT TO BE SECRETLY BOUGHT.")

You've got to be taught to use your fame
Your wealth and your power to get a game
But it's got to be done without harming your name--
It's got to be secretly bought.

You've got to be taught to scorn and scold
Those people whose shoes are cheaply sold
At Wal-Mart, whose heart is so corporate cold--
You've got to be duly distraught.

You've got to be taught to not stand in line
Before you are six or seven or nine
To act like John Edwards and think you're so fine--
You've got to get more than you ought!
You've got to be carefully taught.

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John Edwards Sacrifices Political Future For A Playstation 3

This past month has seen the political destruction of the Kerry/Edwards team of 2004. First John Kerry told a stupid Halloween "joke" about how if you don't get educated you end up "stuck" in Iraq. As a result of the uproar over this backfired joke, Kerry's chances of being nominated in 2008 now range somewhere between nil and none. And just this week, his VP pick, John Edwards, administered a lethal injection to his political career in a way astonishing in its utter hypocrisy. Just the day after Edwards gave a speech denouncing Wal-Mart to an group opposed to that store, he dispatched one of his volunteer gofers to Wal-Mart to get first dibs on a Playstation 3. Wal-Mart then responded to this request by stating that Edwards would have to wait on line like everybody else. Added to this hypocrisy is that fact that Edwards, while criticising Wal-Mart for its wage levels pays his "volunteer" NOTHING. Yes, here is a multi-millionaire who is too cheap to pay folks who work for him even the bare minimum wage by taking advantage of political wannabees and making them work for the mighty Edwards for nothing. Nice racket there, John. Maybe some volunteer would like to get in on the ground floor of the burgeoning DUmmie FUnnies empire by painting my walls for free. Oh, and don't forget to install my carpeting without charge afterwards. As a result of all this hypocrisy, we have a lot of outrage emanating from the leftwing blogosphere directed towards Wal-Mart. I kid you not. Yes, the leftwing loons are angry that Wal-Mart dared to tell Edwards to wait on line like the other folks. What do they want Wal-Mart to do? Give priority to Edwards' no-wage volunteer after the ex-senator has made a mini-career out of slamming Wal-Mart? You can see the leftwing outrage at Wal-Mart for daring to tell Edwards to wait on line for the Playstation 3 like everybody else in this HUffington Post BLOG titled "Wal-Mart Engineers a Smear of Edwards," which was authored by a loon called Dave Johnson. The hypocritical rantings of Johnson and his fellow HUffies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, whose playstation experience never went beyond Pac-Man, is in the [brackets]:

Wal-Mart Engineers a Smear of Edwards

[How DARE they tell John Edwards to wait on line like everybody else!]

Wal-Mart has a smear out on John Edwards. What is striking about the smear is the way a corporation feels free to publicize something that a customer did, and to use it as a flat-out, blatant, organized smear campaign. It is starting to appear on all the usual right-wing outlets, and may soon be as widespread as the pre-election Kerry "insulted the troops" smear.

[Let's see. John Edwards has been making a political career out of slamming Wal-Mart so when he hypocritically has his no-wage gofer ask that company for first dibs on a Playstation 3 it is somehow a smear for Wal-Mart to tell Edwards he has to wait like the "other" America.]

From the story, Edwards acknowledges staff asked Wal-Mart for Playstation 3.

[By cowardly blaming it all on his no-wage gofer.]

"Former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards acknowledged Thursday that amid his criticism of Wal-Mart Stores Inc., a volunteer member of his staff asked the world's largest retailer for help obtaining a hot new Sony Playstation 3 for Edwards' family."

["Former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards acknowledged Thursday that he is a complete hypocrite who doesn't even pay his workers ANYTHING.]

According to the article, a volunteer called a local Wal-Mart, on his own, and used Edwards' name. Wal-Mart takes this information and turns it into a national smear, right out of its corporate headquarters.

[John Edwards is allowed free reign to slam Wal-Mart but God forbid that Wal-Mart point out that Edwards is acting like a complete hypocrite.]

"While the rest of America's working families are waiting patiently in line, Sen. Edwards wants to cut to the front," the Wal-Mart statement said."

[Kudos to Wal-Mart for pointing out the TRUTH!]

That is an official Wal-Mart statement! Have you ever heard anything like that from a company? Is this the business Wal-Mart is in? What right does a corporation have to issue a statement like that about any citizen?

[GASP! What right does a corporation have to point out the FACT that one of its major critics is a complete hypocrite!]

Is this a company that ought to have its right to operate examined, or what?

[Meanwhile any examination of John Edwards' rank hypocrisy is strictly forbidden. And now to hear from Johnson's fellow HUffies...]

Nice of Walmart to blow something stupid (edwards did allow his staffer to do something stupid)out of proportion so to take 1 person out of the presidential competition. Edawards was suppsoedly going to announce within the next couple of weeks.

[Kiss your nomination goodbye, Edwards. It was sacrificed on the altar of the Playstation 3.]

can't we give wal-mart to china? hey folks sen. edwards is a threat to corporate america. they can't swift boat the man so they come out with this stuff. i would publisize this behavior on the front page of every news paper in the country ad take adds out on every media network available. i think the public now has its bull shit detectors out. if these corporate idiots can feel this good about themselves i hope that they and cnbc are happy with the results

[I would also publicize this behavior on the front page of every newspaper in the country. Let everybody find out what a complete hypocrite John Edwards is.]

Well, my first thought is that his staffer was trying to snag one for himself and used Edwards' name to get it. John Edwards has the money to buy a PS3, he's an intelligent mature man and a lawyer. I cannot see him risking his future for a freaking video game.

[His greed got the best of him. Remember this is a multi-millionaire who takes advantage of free labor. You can't get any cheaper than that.]

So...wait...Edwards can criticize Walmart and ask them for special treatment, but Walmart can't criticize John Edwards? That's rich.

[BINGO!]

Don't shop at Wal-Mart! It's the patriotic thing to do.

[Then quit asking for first dibs on their Playstation 3.]

I'll bet if he asked for a large campaign donation in return for his services they would have kept quiet.

[Ah! The old Jesse Jackson routine.]

A major political figure, Edwards, is trashing Wal-Mart, and proves to be a total hypocrite. Wal-Mart is doing the American people a favor by pointing this out - the people need to know. Someone should renominate Wal-Mart for a Nobel. Seriously, this shows they are being good corporate citizens.

[Didn't South Park proclaim John Edwards to be the biggest douchebag in the universe?]

The most that should have come out of this is why would anybody working for John Edwards consider shopping at Wal-mart? I hope he was fired.

[Can a volunteer slave really be fired?]

What is disgusting to me, if you read the whole Edwards rant, is that he has already taught his 6 year old to make fun of poor kids who have to buy shoes at discount stores. His hypocracy over the PS3 Wal-mart incident pales in the face of the boorish snobbery in his child which he is so proud of.

[For a 6 year old kid to even have that level of snobbishness, he has to be carefully taught. Somehow I think it is time to update that song from South Pacific---"You've Got To Be Carefully Taught." ...Calling a certain Lutheran songmeister!!!]

Walmart pays its top execs extremely well. those poor folk at the bottom? -well they just ought to be damnright thankful for walmart- without walmart they would have nothing at all -at least so say they well paid execs.

[At least they are PAID. How much does an Edwards worker at the bottom earn?---NADA!]

How is it a smear? His staff tried to get WalMart to sell a playstation ahead of others, using his name and position to force the issue. There are certainly two Americas: the one Edwards lives in and the other one that stands in line and waits its turn. Good for Wal Mart for showing us that our politicans are hypocritical. Two Americas indeed. Edwards is a multi-millionare pretending to be a common man.

[BINGO!]

They are quaking in their boots at the thought of health insurance, decent wages for their workers and...

[You mean like decent wages for Edwards workers who are paid NOTHING?]

OK, where's the organized emailing campaign to call WM out? Why isn't a link posted on this particular blog? When GM contracted Hannity as its spokestroll, a link was provided to register complaints, I did so, and engaged in a bit of dialog with their pr folks-which was actually rather intelligent in its tone. Thanks for calling attention to the attack, but we don't sit on our hands anymore. Provide the webtool and use the power of this site to take further action.

["Dear Wal-Mart---How DARE you point out the utter hypocrisy of John Edwards!"]

Having been around "staffers", some are terrific and others are what we refer to as "Children of the Corn". Hopefully the Senator will weed out the ones that are in it for the "winning" and not in it for the greater good. The Senator's work for minimum wage and making Wal-Mart accountable is beyond reproach. It takes courage to go against a giant like Wal-Mart and against all the multi-nationals. He's out there alone amongst the possible candidates. We need to watch his back, not snipe at him.

[When will Edwards pay at least a minimum wage to his "Children of the Corn" staffers?]

Wow, an entire presidential campaign destroyed by a video game system.

[Kiss goodbye to the Presidency, John. Well, at least you will have fun with your Playstation 3.]

Please, bang your head against a wall and knock a little sense into your brain. This isn't a scandal, it's a South Park plot.

[Hmmm... Maybe John Edwards could be Eric Cartman's secret father.]

I hope Edwards doesn't throw that poor vounteer to the wolves like the Democrats did to Murtha. I guess when your usefullness is gone, you can be political discarded.

[I hope Edwards throws a few bucks to that poor volunteer that he has previously NEVER paid.]

Did anyone bother to read the statement from the Edwards staff? The volunteer took it upon himself to call Wal-Mart. He used Mr. Edwards' name, hoping to snag one for himself in addition to getting one for the Edwards kids. IOW, Mr. Edwards knew nothing about it, and his spokeswomen denies that anyone was instructed to make the effort. That means that Wal-Mart's statement that "Mr. Edwards wants to cut in line" is not supported by any known fact. The volunteer acted selfishly, and screwed up.

[Evil selfish slave wage volunteer. It is ALL his fault!]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Christmas is coming soon I have the PERFECT Christmas gift item for my DUmmie FUnnies fans. It is a product I have been using myself and fully endorse: the amazing HELICOPTER KITE. This helicopter kite flies like a helicopter. You can make it go hundreds of feet into the air or hover it just a couple of feet off the ground. The propellor rotation is done entirely by windpower. Please check out the VIDEO of the INCREDIBLE helicopter kite. Not only was the helicopter kite aerodynamically designed but it is also MADE IN THE USA! So feel good about purchasing an AMERICAN MADE toy, not produced by Chicom wage-slave labor, which makes the perfect Christmas or birthday gift. The helicopter kites have a LIFETIME warranty so all defective or broken parts will be replaced. Your purchase of the helicopter kite will not only provide you with lots of FUn but it will also help keep the DUmmie FUnnies going. So take a look at the VIDEO and be AMAZED!

p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.