DUmmie FUnnies 01-30-05 (DUmmies Slam Iraq Elections)

The DUmmie response to the Iraq elections today has been somewhat subdued. They must be trying to figure out what position to take on the elections. To oppose the elections means to oppose what is now obviously the desire of the vast majority of the Iraqis who were thrilled to vote. However, their dilemma is that to support the elections means in their DUmmie minds to support the EVIL Bush regime. For these reasons, there has been relatively little commentary on the Iraq elections than I would have expected. However, FEAR NOT, the DUmmies haven’t completely given up their wacko viewpoints as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “DUers rooting AGAINST the elections??” As could be expected the vast majority of the DUmmies on this thread answered the question in the affirmative. And the others I suspect of being LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS including the original author of this thread. As usual, the bah humbug DUmmie comments are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary your humble correspondent, viewing them from the balcony of the Menshevik Hotel, is in the [brackets]:

DUers rooting AGAINST the elections?? WTF? Look, can't we oppose the war, the premise and Shrub but still hope for the best and think good thoughts for the BRAVE people in Iraq that are actually getting their asses to the polls?!? This is about the Iraqis at this point - NOT shrub. Yes Shrub will declare 'victory' because of it - but my priority has to be w/ the Iraqi people right now. The sooner they feel they have valid self determination, the harder it will be for shrub to just sit there and occupy them. I *am* conflicted about this - but, the bottom line, for me - This is GOOD for the Iraqis. Is it good for Shrub? I don't give a shit. I will fight shrubs agenda just as hard. But I am glad for the Iraqis today.

[Hmmm….. I am VERY suspicious of this post. It sounds TOO REASONABLE for the typical DUmmie. However, this poster did call Bush “Shrub” and sounded a bit like he was opposed to “Shrub.” But would that be a normal ploy to throw off the DUmmies. Okay, I am going out on the limb here and accuse this poster of being a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

You can't support democracy and support this sham. It's the obligation of every decent free thinking human being to call this what it is.

[PHEW! Back to the normal DUmmie insanity.]

They will be using tabulation computers. Completely hackable.

[Karl Rove FIXED the Iraqi elections. Fixing the Ohio vote was just a dry run for Iraq.]

There was no election, just a bullshit scam.

[A scam just like in Ohio.]


Nobody (or I at least dont think so) is agaisnt the elections in Iraq. This is probably one of the only good things that have happened so far.

[Umm…. Better check out the Dummie post just above yours.]

only real vote over there would be vote on whether or not to kick US out. Let's see them let them vote on that.

[How about a vote of confidence for the terrorists? I’m sure you could support that.]

I hope this works out for Iraq. These people have suffered enough - under Saddam, under Bush.

[According to DUmmie lore, they suffered much much worse under Bush.]

The only trouble with that is that the election was bush's idea. And he has never been demonstrably successful at anything important in his life.

[Except for winning the Presidency TWICE.]

"This is good for the Iraqis" WTF? WHAT is good for the Iraqis? A bogus stagecrafted *election* that was done only to support Bush's propaganda campaign? BUSH USED THOSE PEOPLE and LIED TO THEM to PROMOTE HIS AGENDA. Encouraging people to risk their lives for a bogus election is not doing anything GOOD. WHAT GOOD have we done for the Iraqis? ANSWER THAT QUESTION, PLEASE, I'd really like to know.

[Yeah. The Iraqis were better off giving 99.9% of their vote to Saddam Hussein in open and honest elections as opposed to this “stagecrafted” election.]

I PISS on bush's big parade. election schmection.

[You are obviously suffering from election dejection.]

Of course, anything to hurt Bush even at the expense of the Iraqis. Let them die, as long as Bush is discredited, it's worth it. Republicans vs. Democrats in DC is much important than the fate of Iraq. /sarcasm OFF

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Iraqi "voters" are like the first weekend crowds for GIGLI about to be VERY disappointed. nothing but props for propaganda. the only 'winner' is bushco because it happened at all. the very thought that bushco would allow an honest election in Iraq (see, afghanistan and their US-installed oil puppet) is too silly to consider...i'm sure most DUers support DEMOCRATIC elections... and would prefer starting that process here at home BEFORE we PRETEND to export it.

[The EVIL Bush Regime would NEVER allow free elections. The Perfect Rovian Storm is fiendishly manipulating the Iraqi voters.]

This vote is a PNAC, neo-con, cabal, white house-media, corporate SHAM. If they gave one sxxt about Iraq, they wouldn't have killed 100,000 Iraqis and a smaller per cent of ours and the coalitions and made a mess of the rest of the lives of thousands more.

This election is a fraud. There are no good intentions on the part of the white house media and Halliburton - it is a sham of public relations that is as empty of heart as the proverbial devil him or herself.

I feel nothing but sorrow for the people of Iraq because of the dubious reason for their voting at this time. Today - we had 30+ deaths - now we have 30 days more of curfew - then we'll see how the next 30 number be represented.

Sham. Sham. Sham. Because the U.S. arranged it. I still want to know if the American Iraqis who voted were naturalized citizens of the U.S.? I want to know if any of the Iraqis voting outside of their country were paid or had their expense paid. That is how doubtful I am of the control of the White House and PNAC in this.

Where were the ballots printed - in Iraq - giving someone some business, or in the U.S., or on the copying machine at Halliburton. My apologies to all iraqis who believed in what they were doing. And I hope I'm wrong about the U.S. and media sham of it all. This has got to be the worst day of propaganda that we have ever experienced.

[Somebody out there PLEASE get this quote in front of Rush Limbaugh for tomorrow’s show. The country needs to hear what the Left REALLY thinks about the Iraq election.]

I'm for free and fair elections. Safe elections. I'm for a decent standard of living for all human beings, and the right to live without a military presence, foreign or domestic, breathing down their necks. Nothing of the sort is involved in these "elections." They're a sham, and the quagmire will continue; today's events don't change anything.

[Back to the day’s when Saddam Hussein won 99.9% of the vote in “free and fair elections.”


I am happy for the brave people of Iraq who faced off the insurgents and who had enough nerve to trust the security of their lives in the hands of an occupying force. For sure this was a victory AGAINST the insugents, if not a total victory for the Iraqi people. And that's GOOD thing.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Were this election to be unsuccessful, it may serve to broaden the mainstream U.S. media's debate about "miscalculations" (or deliberate errors, if you prefer) in Bush's overarching strategy - possibly leading to an awakening about the unfeasability of a perpetual "war on terror," which, in the advent of said awakening, might be much more beneficial to Iraqis than this showcase election would ever be.

[A rare moment of DUmmie honesty. This DUmmie wants the election to be UNSUCCESSFUL because it would hurt the Bush administration.]

Damn ....No wonder the Dem Party is rapidly becoming a FRACKIN' fringe group! It makes me weep. I watched people on TV today that had no teeth, some of which had no FREAKIN' legs, crawl to the polling places in Iraq. Dance in line. Give praise to god. I've been, occasionally, crying like a little girl the last hour watching the CNN and BBC election coverage. I thought my vote was precious in November. I didn't give the finger (while the Iraqis, who stained their fingers for easy indentification) to bombs and bombers while I did it. This was a great day. I don't care who's in the Oval. God bless the Iraqi people. GO a democratic Iraq.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-28-05 ("Gore 08, Dean DNC")

As you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Gore 08, Dean DNC,” the DUmmies are intent on committing political suicide. And I say, “GO FOR IT!!!” Of course, I have a profit driven ulterior motive for hoping for the political comeback of Al Gore since it would probably mean the revival of my Al Gore At The Movies reviews. When I first started those reviews, I got complaints that Al Gore was a has-been and that I was exaggerating his absolute nuttiness. Of course this was before his “HE BETRAYED US!!!” ranting. So let us now watch as the DUmmies propose the destruction of the Democrat Party in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wearing a GORE/DEAN button, is in the [brackets]:

Gore 08, Dean DNC. Anything less is uncivilized.

[True. Go for the SCREAM TEAM!!!]

I feel that only Dean created excitement during the primary (am I wrong? I would have preferred Kucinich, but he never got off the ground. Edwards and Clark were nice and all, but boring) and that Gore is the only Dem with a chance in 2008.

[I agree but could we make room for the Evil Elf as Veep in ’08?]

I do know that Gore does not excite me in the least.

[YOU BETRAYED HIM!!!]

Gore would be a good choice. it would be like Nixon's 68 comeback--8 years after narrowly losing to JFK

[Al Gore---tanned, rested, and WACKY!]

a non dlc Gore, with Dean as his attack dog

[YEEEEEE-AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!]

I'd rather have Dean as Gore's VP

[Sore Gore and the Dean Scream Team. LOVE IT!!!]

I think that it is time that we take Dean off the national ticket and put him to work weeding out the anti grass root folk.

[Any Democrat that shows a trace of sanity must be PURGED!!!]

I could also go with Gore-Boxer in 2008, but not Gore-Wes or Anybody-Wes or Wes-Anybody.

[Gore-Boxer ’08? I’m DROOLING at the thought!]

Sounds good ot me. Why...? Because the GOP media machine wants fresh meat so they can do their shock and awe smear campaign. With Gore it simply wont be effective.

[Could playing and replaying tape of Al Gore screeching, “HE BETRAYED US!!!” be considered a smear campaign?]

Will it play in Montana?

[Of course…..and Wyoming too.]

I could go with Al, easily. He gets better all the time.

[Absolutely. His comedy act gets better all the time.]

Unite behind GORE !!!

[You bet!]

Gore has no thermostat and Dean speaks before he thinks. Am not enthusiastic about either man in roles you suggest.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

And are you saying that Gore is a liar in public settings?

[No. Just in private soirees.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-27-05 ("Did anyone here get an e-mail from Katrina Sumner asking for $")

Another female is following the lead of Bev Harris by asking the DUmmies for money. This time it is Katrina Sumner as you can read in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Did anyone here get an e-mail from Katrina Sumner asking for $?” Unfortunately for Katrina, the DUmmies are so bitter about being ripped off by Bev that she will have a very hard time getting them to part with their dinero. As usual, the DUmmie grumpings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, with hand firmly on wallet, is in the [brackets]:

Did anyone here get an e-mail from Katrina Sumner asking for $? I didn't but a friend did. In it, Katrina says the volunteers who minded the store in Greene County didn't get paid, yet, and they've been waiting since mid-December.

[HUH? Since when do VOLUNTEERS get PAID?]

Hence the word "volunteers ".

[BINGO! And a rare moment of clarity from a DUmmie.]

why would it be random people's responsibility to pay them? who was supposed to pay them?

[The same suckers who paid Bev.]

Beware of Rovian misinformation and plants. This sounds like one of them.

[So do you…and you and you………and YOU!]

i've come to the conclusion that you are right. unless these people are starving with no food and/or no place to sleep at night, there is no need to go flipping out over a little bit of money. did these people do it for the money or b/c it was a patriotic thing to do? no offense, I even met this girl in person in D.C. and I still do not trust her. It hurts to say it out loud or post it but it's how i felt and how i always felt. It looks like someone trying to discredit Arnebeck for 'not paying people', when he HIMSELF is struggling to come up with the money to pay for a lawsuit now being brought against him and the other lawyers. Whatever is going on, i'm not falling for it, and don't be surprised if some kind of rumor starts flying around trying to say Arnebeck is some kind of fraud, like what happened with Bev. (althought personally i DO believe Bev was deceptive, but i do NOT believe that Arnebeck is, not one bit.)

[WOW! You have to be pretty far down the DUmmie Food NOT to be trusted by infamous DUmmie Faye.]


I got the email and kicked in a few bucks. She said that we were welcome to send the email around.

[SUCKER!!! But now that you flushed your money down the toilet, let us read Katrina’s e-mail to you…]

Hello fellow activists, friends, and associates,
I'm writing to you asking for your assistance. On December 10, 2004, I was asked by Cliff Arnebeck to find persons to hire in his name for watching the Board of Elections in Greene County and towards our efforts. The offer was to be given since the nature of the request asked for a round the clock initiative. While there were many volunteers that have assisted (and thanks to all of them) some were not able to at all hours needed (due to jobs or responsibilities). In any case these people were hired with a promise of payment. Since the middle of December they have been waiting. I have repeatedly told them things such as: tomorrow Cliff will be mailing checks, tomorrow Cliff said he would do a transfer, Cliff said it would have to be after this week because there is a hearing to work on; then it came to: Ok, I know you've heard it again and again, but Cliff says directly after the January 20th because of another hearing he had to work on, then after: it'll be tomorrow, it will be tomorrow, ok I promise tomorrow since he just told me that he was doing it after we hung up. Well the days have passed. I've heard the same stories. I know that many of you already sent to Cliff directly or on the freepress.org site to help out with this situation, but I must tell you that those funds were not received by these people who worked. Nor were any funds forwarded on to me to give to them.

[BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! The old “check is in the mail” ploy. The second most famous lie ever told. But continue with your HILARIOUS wailing, Katrina…]

I realize that there are others out there in my precise position and I emphasize with all those out there left with the numerous calls of "when will we get paid." Maybe this mail will seem to be an attack, but I can assure you that it is only an attempt once again to carry out ANOTHER's promise. Please help me with this effort. Any donations would be welcomed. We are looking at a figure around 2650 US. Below I will list the a good few of the people who helped with this situation and have been so very patient thus far in order of highest amount owed to lowest.

[I think I’ll cut those people a break by NOT humiliating them by posting their names as you did, Katrina. BTW, you listed 10 people and divided into $2650 that comes out to just $265 per person. If they had ACTUALLY done REAL WORK for less than a week they could have EARNED that amount.]

that is bullshit that is personal business between her, the other people who worked and Cliff and NO ONE should be coming to everyday people trying to get money. WE didn't hire them, and it is not our fucking business what goes on. Nobody knows what really went on with all this, and we don't know why (if true) Cliff would be holding back on the money. It's BULLSHIT, whether really from her or not. sorry, dzika i know you are friends with her, and i met her in person, but this is utter bullshit. I might as well start a paypal account so i can accept donations because I'm unemployed and poor. It is NOT our responsibility to give this girl money.

[Way to diss her, Faye! Since you are poor and unemployed, Faye, I have a recommendation. Have an Ultimate Challenge fight on HBO between you and Katrina. I would PAY to watch that.]

I agree, if she was hired by Arnebeck, Arnebeck has to pay her.

[Don’t worry. Arnebeck said the CHECK IS IN THE MAIL.]

i also think it is illegal how can it be legal for one everyday person to solicit for donations from other everyday people? don't they have to be some kind of organization or at least some kind of legal non-profit kind of group?

[Plus the non-profit group has to publicly declare how much dough they raked in from the suckers---something that Bev Harris has FAILED to do.]

oh well whatever. i am poor anyway, but i wouldn't give it to them if i had it. i think it's just rude. but then again i'm rude, so i guess it's all good.

[Not only are you rude, Faye, but you’re also crude. However, your saving grace is that you’re ENTERTAINING. Thanx for the LAUGHS!]

Gadz!! I mean fer f*ck sakes!!! Its Bev all over again!! WTF!!! Someone screwed up somewhere and they need to be thoroughly ripped for it!!! How many more times is this shit gonna happen to us? Please someone prove this is bullshit, please please please....

[I hate to inform you but Katrina’s pathetic whining plea for dough is LEGIT.]

I am disappointed to report this. I am a member of Yahoo Groups CASE Ohio, though seldom check in there. Katrina did, indeed, post that message there yesterday.

[Thanx for verifying her shakedown artistry.]

Folks are not supposed to post threads that solicit money without first obtaining Skinners or the other admin's approval. Trouble with this sort of thing happened back in Nov & Dec.

[Who can forget. An obvious con artist like Bev Harris easily shook down you DUmmies for big bucks…. So long, SUCKERS!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-26-05 (Peeved Skinner Berates DUmmies For Petty Whining)

In this DUmmie THREAD titled, “OK, I changed the name back,” Dummieland’s Chief, Skinner, berates his fellow DUmmies for being a bunch of petty whiners for not wanting to let go of the “2004 Election Results and Discussion” forum name. Apparently the DUmmies can’t move on. They have to continue reliving the 2004 election over and over and over again. What’s next DUmmies? A “2000 Election Results and Discussion” forum? You can find the genesis of reverting back to the old outmoded name in this whine-filled DUmmie THREAD titled, “I miss the old name...This doesn't feel like ‘Home.’” Read the latter thread for yourselves but you can see the reluctance to let go of the name change in this comment by DUmmie imaginary girl: “I think changing the name is making some of us feel that we're being forced to let go of our hopes of this election somehow being overturned…” Now let us lead off this edition of the DUFUs with an extremely peeved Skinner berating the DUmmies. As usual, the DUmmie whines are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching Skinner change DUmmie diapers, is in the [brackets]:

OK, I changed the name back. This forum is now called 2004 Election Results and Discussion.

[AGAIN? Can’t your fellow DUmmies LET GO, Skinner?]

I am instructing the moderators to NOT MOVE ANYTHING out of this forum, even if it does not have anything to do with the topic of the forum. Want to talk about the Condi Rice nomination? Go for it. Apparently nobody here has noticed that it has nothing to do with 2004 Election Results and Discussion. But that's not my problem.

[And it’s not my problem that you have to change the soiled diapers of your fellow DUmmies, Skinner, who are so babyish that they can’t let go of the fact that the 2004 election is OVER. But don’t worry. Your DUmmies will somehow try to connect the Condi Rice nomination back to the 2004 election. Somehow I have a feeling they will even connect the SuperBowl results back to the 2004 election.]

I must admit I am shaking my head in disbelief at the lack of perspective displayed over this. It makes absolutely no sense. But I guess we've always known that DUers are very resistant to change.

[We know that, Skinner. Bunch of friggin’ whining crybabies who just can’t accept the 2004 election results.]

Everything is back to the way it was before. And by the way: before you start celebrating or complaining, I am extremely disappointed with the behavior of some people on both sides of this debate. I cannot believe that something as inconsequential as a name change has caused you to act in an absolutely disgraceful manner, and I strongly suggest that you modify your behavior immediately.

[Spank them and make them go to bed without dinner, Skinner. BTW, I had to laugh out loud at your vain request that the DUmmies “modify” their behavior. Face it, Skinner. Your crybabying DUmmies are a bunch of pathetic whiners NOW and they ALWAYS will be.]

If anyone has anything to add, post it in the Ask the Administrators forum. The moderators HAVE been instructed to lock any further topics debating this issue.

[SNIFF! No more DUmmie debates about keeping an outmoded name change. But don’t worry, Skinner, we will keep that pathetic debate ALIVE in the DUmmie Funnies. And now on to watching the other DUmmies celebrating the fact that the forum name has been reverted back. Too bad you all can’t celebrate the RESULTS of the 2004 election.]

I love you, Skinner. Thank-you

[OH BLESS YOU! BLESS YOU, Skinner, for reverting back to the antiquated forum name. I shall slobber all over your posterior in gratefulness over your meaningless gesture toward our useless obsession.]

that forum name has become an anchor for our feelings about the events of the past election. something very treasured that we all worked for together. It was very thoughtful of you and the other admins to relent to our wishes.

[It was soooo thoughtful of you, Skinner, to cave in to our utterly ridiculous obsession over not letting go of the 2004 election. Pull down your pants again. I too want to slobber all over your posterior for making me feel like a semi-human again!]

ool! Thank you! I was all discombobulated! I felt like my whole reality had somehow done kind of a matrix move lol

[Better to live in the Matrix UnReality of the 2004 Election Past than live in the REALITY of 2005.]

Condi's hearings do involve election reform. Boxer is our voice in the senate regarding election reform and she is the only dem with back bone. We have to watch her back and remain aware of her stances so that we can be supportive of her.

[CAN’T LET GO! CAN’T LET GO! MUST CONNECT EVERYTHING IN 2005 TO THE 2004 ELECTION RESULTS NO MATTER HOW STUPID IT MIGHT SEEM! CAN’T LET GO!]

The winds of change are blowing...do you feel the breeze?

[No but I do smell your flatulence.]

We form a community that is why this forum is different than the others, that is why there is so much energy here we have access to the greatest knowledge bank the world has ever known, the Internet and working as a collective. we learn further and faster than one person sifting through the web and DU forums could ever hope to this is our Living Brainstorm. do not doubt our ability to affect change through this medium. This is the Future of Human Intercommunication...

[You force Skinner to reinstate a dopey outdated DUmmie forum name and you act like this is evidence of the DAWNING OF A NEW AGE?]

Condoleezza Rice might not be directly connected to the issue of election fraud but the senators opposing her are showing some guts. And for me that is what we'll need for election reform. The democrats are gearing up I think. Opposing Dr. Rice is a step we need to support. Those
same Senators and Representatives will also hopefuly be
on our side for election reform changes.

[YAWN! Nice stretch but you might as well connect Condi Rice to the 1904 election results. Same relevance.]

I'm relieved to see the name back. I thought the name change represented an end to investigation/discussion of the 2004 selection and I wasn't really ready for that.

[I broke out in hives when Skinner dropped that forum name. Now that it has changed back, I can sleep again.]

Thanks, Skinner. The 2004 election ain't over ... until the votes have REALLY been counted and the election thieves have been locked up. Appreciate your decision to change the name back. Even we tin-foil-hatters appreciate a little stability in our lives.

[Just can’t LET GO, can you?]

It's not about the forum name change. It's about how the political scene--for instance, Boxer's challenge of the Rice nomination, following her challenge of the Ohio Electors, and the progressive coalition she is creating--will impact potential Election Reform. We cannot get Election Reform in a vacuum. (We cannot depend on Congress for Election Reform--too many BushCons--but Congressional progressives can play a vital role in investigation and public education.)

[It sounds like you want to lock tongues with Barbara Boxer.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-25-05 ("Is Big Brother Snooping on DU?")

The DUmmies are acting paranoid about the possibility of government agencies monitoring them in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Is Big Brother Snooping on DU?” Actually I would be paranoid if the government weren’t snooping on the DUmmies. Let’s see, DUmmies make threats against the President and talk about their solidarity with extremist groups in Iraq and elsewhere and they expect NOT to be monitored? What alternate universe do they live in? An easy way for the government law enforcement agencies to monitor the DUmmies is to read the Dummie FUnnies which must be a very FUN assignment. Nothing like keeping tabs on the DUmmies while laughing your ass off at the same time by checking out the DUmmie FUnnies. One good example of how the DUFUs helped the Secret Service is when the DUmmie FUnnies featured that nutty DUmmie school teacher who went INSANE with rage against Bush shortly after he was re-elected. However, there are many many other DUmmies that need to be monitored as well. And I would be EXTREMELY WORRIED if their activities (and threats) were not watched. Fortunately, this DUFU edition’s featured DUmmie Thread has reassured me in this matter. As usual, the Bolshevik DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, sending out messages via the secret decoder ring to Agent Mike, is in the [brackets]:

Is Big Brother Snooping on DU?

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS?]

I decided to put the old firewall to the test as I logged onto DU today. Usually it just runs in the background, but I thought it would be interesting to see if any unrequested attempts came in to access the computer. Anyone care to interpret this? It's pretty freaking scary on first glance. I ran the browser in a small window so that I could watch the firewall results in real time. Immediately, there were two attempts that were blocked. I looked up the source IP info on ARIN WHOIS. The info:

Attempt 1:

Protocol: UDP

Source IP: 206.39.24.78

OrgName: DoD Network Information Center

OrgID: DNIC

Address: 7990 Science Applications Ct

Address: M/S CV 50

City: Vienna

StateProv: VA

PostalCode: 22183-7000

[If you aren’t planning illegal activities then the only thing you have to worry about is that someone at the DOD is checking out your porn collection featuring The Hedgehog (who rumor says is a registered Freeper).]


Attempt 2:

Protocol: UDP

Source IP: 206.23.89.183

OrgName: Tennessee Board of Regents

OrgID: TBOR

Address: 1415 Murfreesboro Road

Address: Suite 350

City: Nashville

StateProv: TN

PostalCode: 37217

[Maybe someone on the Tennessee board of Regents is a fan of The Hedgehog too.]

Why is the Department of Defense gathering information on us? Under what law is it granted? To what purpose is it directed? What connection does the Tennessee Board of Regents have in this? What the hell is going on???

[Gee! Your DUmmie cohorts makes threats against the President and act as a cheerleading gallery for the terrorists and you have to ask a question like that? As for the Tennessee Board of Regents maybe somebody there is doing research into the tiny DUmmie mind.]

to Agent Mike and all others. Too bad you waste your lives on chasing the wrong enemies.

[Agent Mike is watching the CORRECT people. Just a quick scan of the nutcase DUmmie posts reveals that they need to be watched.]

More sinister scenerio is a plot by the administration, Melon-Scaifee, Rev Moon, Rove, Norquist and all the Usual Suspects to shut down internet discussion sites like this one on the grounds that they breed terrorists.

[It would be stupid of them to shut down the DUmmie site, when you all make it so EASY to monitor anti-American activities.]

Where the suppression will start: not here. That would be too obvious. It will be the Free Republic or a similar site which will be attacked by AG Gonzales first.

[What kind of Loco Weed are you smoking?]

You know, the Freepers don't even get it....when the shit really hits the fan, once Hitler Jr. and his best friend Darth decide they're done playing nice, they'll be the first ones to feel the pain.

[Apparently your divorce from reality has come to fruition.]

I got the EXACT same thing except mine was in Chantilly , VA and I'm nervous about it. Really! And there are so many FREEPERS skulking about in here.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

If they come, they come, and I'll not go quietly when they do.

[Will you yell, “I BELIEVE?”]

Frankly, I really don't give a rat's ass. What I say here is nothing that I wouldn't shout on the town square, so they can't blackmail or embarass me.

[Better to let you embarrass yourself.]

You haven't broken any laws, but they can soon declare you insane

[Not a big stretch there.]

When you realize 9-11 was an inside job that's where they will put you

[Where? In DUmmieland?]

Face the facts.. We are the enemy in the eyes of the evil do'ers running this country.

[Also in the eyes of almost everybody else. All one has to do is listen to 5 minutes of an ANSWER rally to realize who the enemy is---YOU!!!]

I wouldn't be surprised they want to see what us dissenters and unpatriotic citizens are up to so they can spill propaganda on our fire.

[No need to. Only need to quote you folks word for word to discredit you completely.]

Absolute control of cyberspace is one of the stated goals of the Neo-Con think tanks. After I started researching election data, I suddenly found my access blocked to state election sites, election fraud sites, and anything with dot gov. I still am unable to visit NASA's site to view Huygens photos for crying out loud. Like poker, it's a "tell." They don't want the citizens to look too closely or learn too much. Their goals are in place. The next move is to ask for legal means to gain even greater invasion of privacy and freedom in all forms of electronic communication by pressing Congress on grounds of "National Security in the war on terrorism." Like the Patriot Act rationale, their National Cyberspace Security agenda, however, has more to do with control and spying on their own citizens than on any threat to the nation. It's a much larger game of domination without accountability.

[Your post about absolute control of cyberspace is a “tell” for paranoia.]

Our activism has our own leaders on the line now, and they don't like being held accountable for their actions or non-actions one little bit.

[True. Unlike Barbara Boxer, many Democrat leaders don’t want to be embarrassed by having to publicly pander to the DUmmie wackos.]

All they'll find on my internet-surfing history is porn and politics. And porn. Lots of porn.

[More of The Hedgehog?]

Is it not possible that somebody at DoD is a DUer or just curious?

[Somebody working for the Defense Department who is a DUmmie is a FRIGHTENING thought.]

Did anyone really think these threads weren't being monitored by gov't?

[Even worse. The DUmmie threads are monitored by the DUFUs.]

They are snooping on everyone of us! Make no mistake. Every DUer is in their crosshairs. They are watching your internet habits among other things. What a bunch of assholes! Yeah. I am talking about you, Mister Fed snoop! Go spy on some Islamic Fundamentalists or something.

[How about spying on Islamic Fundamentalist ENABLERS aka DUmmieland?]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-24-05 ("Is 'capitalism' good or bad?")

Hidden beneath the public face of many Democrats is the fact that they are SOCIALISTS. In most other countries Socialists are not afraid to proclaim themselves as such but here in the U.S.A. the liberals are more afraid of the S-word than the L-word. However, among themselves, the hardcore leftist Democrats are not afraid of expressing their disdain of Free Enterprise (capitalism) as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Is ‘capitalism’ good or bad?" After reading the DUmmie comments, you will know why I put them in Bolshevik Red while the capitalist commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

Is "capitalism" good or bad? And does capitalism add or subtract from a democracy. After all, capitalism is presently rampant in China and they are far from a democracy so we should not confuse capitalism with democracy, per se. One is political and the other is economic. A communist country can have capitalism and prosper...at least for a while. What type of "democracy" would we have if we did not have capitalism within the system? What if we were economic socialists? Would that be better or worse than the current system of government?

[Somehow methinks the VAST majority of the DUmmies will be answering the last question in the AFFIRMATIVE.]

Capitalism is dangerous without regulations and limitations.

[Dangerous. STAMP IT OUT!!!]

You are absolutetly correct. Capitalism is the survival of the fittest. In a true capitalist society, we would get rid of people who weren't productive: let the terminally sick die, banish the elderly to mountain tops, and the retarded and handicapped might be killed out right. We would have no art, only Hollywood thrillers. We would have no nature, only an outdoor theme park created by Disney. Obviously, this is not what we want as a christian nation. This is the number one reason why I vote democratic: because the republicans want a pure capitalism that would destroy anything that didn't have a dollar value, and all the great things in life are free.

[Does that mean that unborn babies won’t be killed under Socialism? Also I guess that Renaissance Italy must have been Socialist because there was a great artistic flowering back them.]

I've owned a little neighborhood bar for 13 years now. Believe it or not I did save a few hundred bucks a month after the tax cuts but those corporate whores got f*cking billions!!!

[Better take a stiff drink at your bar and figure out how owning a small business will get you tax cuts worth billions. See, if you pay $20,000 in taxes, a 25% cut will save you $5000. But if you pay $12 billion in taxes then a 10% tax cut will save you $1.2 billion. So you want to save a billion bucks in taxes when you currently pay $20,000 at your little bar? Pour yourself yet ANOTHER drink.]

My husband and I are "little guy" self employed 1 man business. We hate bush because his policies hurt our business .

[True. Bush has been bad for the crack ho’ business.]

Without capitalism many rights that we as a country cherish either couldn't be provided or would be empty.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

capitalism is organized crime.

[Whisper that gently into Fidel Castro’s ear and he may let you stay the night.]

A very limited private enterprise system with a largely socialist regulatory hierarchy in place.

[Welcome to Sweden!]

Capitalism is good because you can work hard to achieve something and hope to get some financial reward for your efforts.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

The capitalists use up all of the peoples natural resources without compensating them. They pollute their air, land and water which is theirs by natural right, taking away the peoples rights to clean air, land and water. They are never given anything in return for allowing the capitalist to use their resources. Oil belongs to the earth and its inhabitants not to the people who steal it and sell it for their own gain. We should try to see a different paradigm. A better world is possible if we could only imagine it on a collective level.

[Ah! How fondly we remember that pristine environmental paradise in the former Union of Soviet SOCIALIST Republics.]

Democracy and capitalism are NOT the same thing. In fact unless its managed and regulated very carefully, capitalism erodes and destroys democracy.

[Regulate and stomp on capitalism before it has a chance of making people wealthy.]

There is absolutely zero positive about capitalism be it small business or big business the parameters of an economy based on capital is incapable of gauging and living within the limits of the land. a more egalitarian way of divvying up a profit-growth based economy still does not take into consideration the sacredness of work and the intrinsic value of non-human beings. Vandana Shiva speaks pointedly of how tired she is of hearing "they're only living on a dollar a day" plaints. She elaborates with stories of how wonderfully the people in her area of Punjab Province were doing living on zero dollars a day. Capital is not a form of economic measurement or medium of exchange it is a form of control. history bears this out from the early forms of 'capita' to our present transnational corps. capitalism and slavery go hand in glove.

[And who produces Vandana’s Bandana? Somehow I don’t think the folks in the Punjab are going to work for zero dollars per day.]

Capitalism is a disaster. It produces an obscene amount of plastic garbage. It wastes countless amounts of precious time of people by pelting them constantly with audio and visual trash (advertising, which is also a major waste of trees and bandwidth as well). It rewards people for being a jerk and punishes them for being born in the wrong place at the wrong time.

[You were definitely born in the wrong place and the wrong time. You should have been born about a hundred years ago in Moscow so you could have joined the Bolsheviks and participated in the Chekhist purge of the bourgeoisie. I bet you salivate over that prospect.]

Normally a thread like this would be overwhelmingly filled with anti-Capitalist diatribes, not the collection of reasonable responses I just finished reading...

[“Reasonable reponses” like the one just prior to yours?]


Anyway, if you don't know about bioregionalism, you should at least read up a little on it. What is bioregionalism? Bioregionalism is a fancy name for living a rooted life. Sometimes called "living in place," bioregionalism means you are aware of the ecology, economy and culture of the place where you live, and are committed to making choices that enhance them. A bioregion is an area that shares similar topography, plant and animal life, and human culture. Bioregions are often organized around watersheds, and they can be nested within each other. Bioregional boundaries are usually not rigid, and often differ from political borders around counties, states, provinces and nations. Ideally, bioregions are places that could be largely self-sufficient in terms of food, products and services, and would have a sustainable impact on the environment.

[OKAY! OKAY! We get it. You’re bi.]

Remembering that untill the computer chip the Soviet economy was equal to ours and in being honest with ourselves, we've been taken-in by the glimmer Capitalism sells us on which plays on the natural human sence of greed and other psychological responses, the result has always been and always will be nothing more than a game of 'winner take all' and as always the majority loose. To me it's nothing more than economic/corporate feudalism really, really polished-up. I could be wrong here, but I beleive it was Alexander Hamilton who said that the advent of the corporation would be the greatest threat to individual freedom this country would face. If so: Has he been proven wrong? Capitalism, with or without 'regulation has been nothing but a fight between the political institutions' protection of the wealthy class and corporations against the intrests of the average citizen, the enviroment and the future. Just look at the new article on CBS Market-Watch today about corporations using a loop-hole to make millions in profit on their employees 401 K deductions that the employees never see. This is the equivilant of stealing their money. So? It's legal. One could bang his/her keyboard until one was blind listing all the ways capialism fails, is abusive, is destroying futures, lives, hope and dreams, the enviorment...Norm Chomsky said it best: Corporate Capitaism only wants one thing; they want it all. As far as regulation goes: Phooy. We've done that. For decades. Then we get sold on de-regulation. It's not "how do we fine-tune this machine to run different?" This machine was invented and designed to accomplish one goal: Protect and keep the 'haves' from the 'have-nots'. Don't beleive me? Think about this: Consumerism is the biggest insult to any nations' people. Run down to wal-mart and buy cheap crap you really don't need made by people getting slave wages in the country your job was outsourced to that destroys the other jobs in your community that drive the wages down so you go to wal-mart to buy cheap crap made in the country your job was outsourced to because that is now all you can afford because you are now getting closer to making slave wages...Screw Capitalism. Fire your boss. Socialism is not a dirty word.

[“Screw Capitalism. Fire your boss. Socialism is not a dirty word.” Please enter that into the Democrat Party Platform in 2008. Oh, and don’t forget to tell us from the convention stage how the Soviet economy was the equal of ours until the advent of the computer chip. We could use the comedy relief.]

I'm disappointed that people do not see that most of the problems our country faces right now are mostly due to the corporate greed and capitalism that has covered our nation like a blanket...Capitalism is the problem - not the solution.

[Aww! You’re disappointed! How sad. I’ll sing you the Internationale lullaby at bedtime to cheer you up.]

Greed must be controlled for the good of the people. Indeed, we will destroy our environment and ourselves unless we come to the realization that there must be limits on how far we permit capitalism to go.

[The main thing is not to allow capitalism to permit anybody to earn profits. That type of greed must definitely be controlled for the good of the people.]

The MODERN capitalist system is a dinosaur when it comes to actually responding to new demands. It's unparalleled when it comes to manufacturing wants that comply with the production desires of the captains of industry. But then again, I'm much more of a John Kenneth Galbraith fan than you probably are, and I happen to think that Milton Friedman is one of the biggest crocks of shit out there.

[And Milty thinks the same about you.]

The drive for money has led to competition and a lot of good things from it.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

So some time ago, I got sick of hearing a lot of "little people" (people who work for a wage, etc.) saying things like, "Well, we have the best system in the world... the market will take care of it... it all depends on what the market will bear... blah blah blah." So next time I hear someone (unless it happens to be the CEO a multi-billion-dollar corporation, and I seldom talk to such people!) say that, I'm gonna say in reply: "If you are such a believer in PURE capitalism, with NO BRAKES on it, then next time you are hungry, I demand that you be required to immediately go out and kill something if you want to eat. And every time you want to eat, I demand that you go out and kill something before you are allowed to eat." Because that's the sort of world we live in if we have PURE, unfettered capitalism. And if they want to live in it, then IMO, they need to be consistent about it!

[Obviously someone already went out and killed your sense of reasoning.]

Capitalism is as beautiful a thing as man has ever created. No system has ever provided so much for so many, or lifted the standard of living to such remarkable levels. America is not wealthy, powerful, and so filled with opportunity because government makes it that way. It's because economic freedom can bring out the best in mankind. If you don't believe it, ask yourself why so many thousands of people from all over the world flock to this country in hordes, both legally and illegally, some of them dying in transit, to take advantage of the opportunities here. They are not flocking to Cuba or Iran, and with good reason.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-23-05 ("The Freeper Anthem by Doug From Upland")

The DUmmies have flamed our own Freeper (and DUFU Pingee) Doug From Upland in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “The Freeper Anthem by Doug From Upland.” Although they have tried to mock Doug From Upland, I have a feeling that he will have the last laugh with a DUmmie Anthem. So let us now open with the DUmmies quoting Doug From Upland’s anthem as we await the inevitable DUmmie Anthem from the songwriter himself. First we open with the lyrics of the Freeper Anthem as quoted in Dummieland. As usual, the Dummie off-key tunes are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

Can you hear the FReepers sing
We lift our voices to the sky
And we are swearing to our God
That we will all live free or die

[The DUmmies hate the latter phrase. They prefer “Live Free or Diebold.”]

Many brave men gave their lives
So that this nation could be free
If we will stand and fight
We honor their memory

[The DUmmies don’t like this song because the words don’t work right with “The Internationale” tune.]


England ruled from afar
Until the brave among them said
We won't accept the tyranny
We'll show them kings are dead
So they grabbed their weapons and fought and America's born

[DUmmies hate the Second Amendment so no surprise they don’t like this verse at all.]

If only they could "live free" AND die.

[I think that is what the DUmmies call “Revolutionary Justice.”]

irony , oh the irony had the freepers been alive in 1776 they would have all been the most diehard pro-George III loyalists! Had they been alive (and adults) in 1940 they would have been isolationist "American Firsters" or Silver Shirts.

[Funny how the DUmmies OFTEN refer to the Founding Fathers as “reactionary white guys.” Oh, and I hate to inform the DUmmies but in 1940, their beloved Bolsheviks were living in peaceful harmony and collusion with Germany due to the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact.]

Yeah, and guess who wanted to revolt in the first place? The Northerners! The immoral New Englanders! LOL, what a bunch of hypocrites!

[Better not educate the DUmmies with the fact that one of the most effective Revolutionary military leaders was the Swamp Fox---a southernor. Come to think of it, this DUmmie is too clueless to realize that George Washington was from the (GASP!) South.]

Damn, think of all those liberal yanks who decided in the 1860s that slaves should be free. All the conservatives (then the Dems, but times have changed) seceded

[Better not tell this DUmmie that Lincoln worked as a railroad lawyer. As to times changing, Al Gore’s father Senator Al Gore I (Dem) voted AGAINST the 1964 Civil Rights Act.]

"CAN YOU HEAR THE FREEPERS SING".....that is too f*cking funny...LOL..

[Not as funny as “CAN YOU HEAR THE DUMMIES CHIRP.”]


I can just picture them glassy eyed and delirious, chanting away. (wish I couldn't though...I'll have nightmares tonight) WTF do you let these mentally ill people mix with those of you who are sane? Don't you have asylums?

[And I got a good picture of the delirioius DUmmies chanting away at the Inauguration Day ANSWER Rally broadcast on C-SPAN. Talk about mentally ill!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-22-05 ("Iron rules of hollywood movies")

Sorry for posting two showbiz DUmmie threads in a row but I have to do it to show how incredibly UNORIGINAL the DUmmies are. In last night’s DUFU THREAD about Captain Pike and Star Trek, I mentioned that when any one named Ensign Smith would beam down to a hostile planet with Kirk, Spock, and Bones, he was as good as dead because he was just NOT going to survive. Later, on the same thread, Freeper Bush_Democrat added that the term “red shirt” is an industry term to denote a guest star who was going to die because the Star Trek crew members who died always wore red uniforms. As it turns out these EXACT SAME points are made (copied) in today’s DUmmie THREAD titled, “Iron rules of hollywood movies.” And one iron rule is that DUmmies have NO originality. So grab your popcorn, relax, and watch this episode of DUmmie Mystery Theater. As usual the uncreative DUmmie musings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, laughing into his popcorn, is in the [brackets]:

Iron rules of hollywood movies… Well, some of them aren't absolute, but some of 'em are. This one's just about unbreakable: If there's an expensive, exotic sports car in an action movie, that car is going to get trashed. A painful truth for us car lovers, but there it is. That Ferrari, Lotus, Lamborghini, Aston Martin? Gonna be a heap of shredded tin by the end of the flick. I don't think it applies to your Porsche, Mercedes, or BMW. Has to have a more exotic pedigree. If it does, it's as doomed as The Kid.

[Here is another ironclad rule: Whenever Dummie Coyotes get to gloating they always end up with the ACME Co. package exploding in their faces. Cases in point: Gloating over Dan Rather’s Bush TANG report. Also gloating over the exit polls on Election Day.
DUmmie Gloat = Ultimate Defeat.

Speaking of which...In a war movie, The Kid is gonna get it. Usually a minor character but not always. The Lad With His Whole Life Ahead of Him. He's deader than a Maserati in a Kung Fu flick. Even surer if we see him early on getting a letter from his young wife or girlfriend. Deader 'n shit. Sorry pal, it's what you're there for.

[Just like the DUmmie Jerk. The DUmmie Jerk is gonna get it.]

A rule observed quite strictly by the first Star Trek. A black man beaming down to the planet with Spock and Kirk and McCoy? He's a goner already. And even he knows it. You can see it in his eyes. "Oh, shit, they need another decoy! I was going to be a captain someday."

[Not quite. You are trying not to copy our DUFU from yesterday but let us allow another DUmmie to copy us EXACTLY.]

That ethnic group was really more of a red shirt thing. If you wore a red shirt AND didn't asnwer to "Scotty" you were friggin' DOOMED. Nowehere was safe--the forces of evil would sneak through the deflector shields just to cap you.

[BINGO! Congratulations on shamefully copying the DUFUs!]

If there's a car chase, it will go through a fruit vending area or area with a lot of fruit boxes to blow into the air.

[Didn’t the Blues Brothers’ car go crashing through a shopping mall sans the fruit stand?]

and cops always get teamed with someone who is their exact opposite personality wise. By the end of the movie they are either in love with each other or best buddies!

[A DUmmie and a Freeper? By the end of the movie the DUmmie sues the police department for harassment because by being teamed up with a Freeper, it showed just what a pathetic cop he was.]

No matter how old and decrepit the leading man is...he will get the 20-something leading lady. Do we really need to see Lindsey Lohan making out with Abe Vigoda?

[Is that really any worse than seeing Ginger Lynn doing a bit more than making out with the Hedgehog?]

If the bad guy is captured alive at the end of the movie He'll produce a gun an try to shoot the hero or one of his friends, thereby giving the hero an excuse to shoot him dead (usually with a shot in the exact middle of the forehead at a ludicrously high distance).

[Die Hard and Lethal Weapon.]

when the the cop's wife is left alone, the killer will come for her but the cop will save her in time of course

[If the Best Friend of the Main Character has a hot looking girlfriend, the Main Character is going to end up shtooping her, thus causing problems with his Best Friend. Picnic comes to mind but this is replicated in numerous other flicks.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-21-05 ("Captain Pike was an idiot")

One great way to get your post count up to the magic 1000 in DUmmieland is to go into the DUmmie Lounge and post in one of the many non-political discussion. It is much easier to get your post count up this way than to join one of the political discussions since you are much less likely to “out” yourself. As an example, let us join in this DUmmie Star Trek THREAD titled, “Captain Pike was an idiot.” So let us Beam Down to Dummieland observe this Star Trek episode. Of course, any crew member joining us in this adventure named Ensign Smith is sure to DIE so you might as well start building his casket now. The Klingon DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, with his Phaser set on Stun, is in the [brackets]:

Captain Pike was an idiot. Here he is, on a planet with a woman who is HOT HOT HOT!, and is hot in many different forms, and yet he insists on getting back to the Enterprise. And yeah, Vina, in real life, is a horribly deformed yucko; but the Talosians can make her into anything! And what they make her into is HOT HOT HOT!

[God Bless those Talosians. I only wish they could have worked their magic on a few blind dates I had in the past. One in particular looked just like Nikita Khruschev in drag with a horrible garlic stench on her breath. The Talosians could have made her look like the young version of Sophia Loren but could they also have gotten rid of that horrible breath?]

Hubby and I have discussed this as well. Odd that I agree w/ you, yet he would not

[Maybe your hubby was thinking of calling up the Talosians to give YOU a major makeover.]

I totally agree.....Why go back to the Enterprise, when you can be with that hottie. Plus the fact that the Talosians can make her look hot forever. I would have said, " F**K the Enterprise, I'm staying here!"

[An interesting thing about those Talosians is that they seemed like big headed gay aliens. Perhaps the Talosians were the forerunners to the “Queer Eye” series. Nothing against the Talosians, of course, but I would prefer NOT to enter any Talosian bars. Not that there is anything wrong with being a Talosian.]

You're still right, though - if he'd stayed when he had the chance, he wouldn't have had that accident, and wouldn't have had to go back to the planet. he could have stayed with the hottie, never knowing what she really looked like, and lived a life of sexual bliss and harmony.

[That was a two-part episode, The Menagerie. One of my faves. However, I got a bigger kick out of the episode where Spock had to have sex once every seven years or he would go crazy.]

Of course he was an idiot. That's why they replaced him with the best ST captain ever: James T. Kirk!

[I don’t know about acting but I will admit that Kirk can sing Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds better.]

Yeah, I'm glad they knocked him off and put in Kirk. Kirk was way better! Though I wish Majel could have stayed in her role - she was a hottie, and should have gotten more time on screen in that awesome outfit. She wasn't so interesting as Nurse Chapel.

[At least Gene Roddenberry got to shtoop Nurse Chapel on a regular basis.]

Only when Vina regained consciousness... that's when their fun began! It's a great story all the same...And to think, it's Spock (and not Kirk) who had the idea of getting Pike back to Talos 4 so he could get jiggy with Vina...

[Although Spock only had sex once every seven years, he was also an extreme voyeur. Think Spock wasn’t watching the Pike/Vina action on his viewfinder? Which reminds me, with all that advanced Star Trek technology, how come no X-Rated DVDs on board?]

Jeffrey Hunter was a *terrible* actor...I watched "Menagerie" in recent years, and was struck by just how unutterably awful he was. Shatner looks like a genius in comparison.

[You don’t like Jeffrey Hunter as a Star Trek captain? Fine. But he was THE definitive Jesus and didn’t play the part with an accent like that heathen furriner, Max Von Sydow.]

Did you ever see Hunter play Jesus! I can't even remember the name of the movie -- I couldn't take it.

[Either King of Kings or The Greatest Story Ever Told. I get them confused. And I have accepted Jeffrey Hunter in my heart as the ONE TRUE HOLLYWOOD Jesus.]

Picard wasn't any better. See, only Kirk is da' man here!

[True. I just couldn’t accept Chrome Dome Picard as a Star Trek captain. However, he did portray a great Lenin on Masterpiece Theater's Fall of Eagles.]

He didn't want to be a captive and a guinea pig. It was only after he was imprisoned in his own body that he realized what he'd given up. Fortunately for him, he got a rare second chance for happiness.

[Yeah. I remember Pike was stuck inside of a metal box contraption. He looked like he was halfway into a coma and the only way he could communicate was with a light on the contraption. One blink meant “Yes,” and Two blinks meant “No.” Or was it the reverse? Or was that all communicated via red and green lights? I hate to say this but Ross Perot’s 1992 running mate reminded me an awful lot of Pike in the metal box.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-21-05 ("Did you hear the Freeper on NPR?")

Just a short edition of the DUFUs in this edition, mainly because I want to find out what Freeper was interviewed on NPR as referred to in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Did you hear the Freeper on NPR?” I would like a transcript of the interview and congratulate the mystery Freeper as well as assure him that I am NOT full of blinding INSANE JEALOUS RAGE over the fact that he got to be interviewed on national radio about the DUmmies, a subject in which I am the most renown expert. Thus far, the closest I have come to being interviewed about the DUmmies was the time a couple of months ago when I called up Brian Craig on our local talk radio station and he hung up on me while muttering something about me being an “agenda caller.” As usual the DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, still waiting on hold, is in the [brackets]:

Did you hear the Freeper on NPR? They had a guy from Free Republic on NPR last night that said ANSWER and Code Pink had allied themselves with Osama Bin Laden and the terrorists, and that giving them a bleacher permit in DC was like giving Saddam Hussein bleachers at the parade. WTF is with THEM and with NPR???

[All one had to do was watch C-SPAN2 last night. They broadcast that rally and there is NO DOUBT that ANSWER (and many DUmmies) have indeed aligned themselves with the terrorists (as well as Castro, the Chavistas, and the Sandinistas). My only gripe with this particular NPR broadcast is they did not turn to the TOP expert on DUmmie-ology for commentary.]

Hmm. That's the second time in a week NPR reported the protestors ties to OBL through a FReeper spokesperson. What is their agenda anyhow?

[Every once in a while the TRUTH accidentally seeps through on NPR.]

The first one was when they were interviewing about access for protestors and worshippers. The FReeper made the same exact comment and they reported it. To do it a second time seems like they want to reinforce that thought in listeners' minds. It is definately worth a call so they know we are watching them.

[And when you get NPR on the line, please put in a plug for them interviewing the humble reporter of the DUmmie FUnnies.]

You'd have to have lived in a cave... with no radio for the last 3 years if you don't know that NPR is officially National Propaganda Radio. They don't even make an effort to be balanced, you will hear a hour of bullshit from the right and 30 seconds of carefully watered down talk from the left.

[What alternate universe are you living in since it is exactly the REVERSE situation over at NPR.]

I've had it with FreeRepublic.com. What kinds of non-violent things can we do to f*ck with them?

[Asked to be placed on the DUFU PING List.]

NPR had a fawning interview with Karl Rove yesterday. It was pretty puke-inducing...I understand that he's newsworthy just because of his position of power within the Bush administration. But the whole tone of the interview was pretty obsequious IMO.

[Actually the interview was really very CONFRONTATIONAL. However, the electromagnetic radiation from the center of the Perfect Rovian Storm jammed the unfriendly portions of the broadcast, leaving only the few parts that would sound fawning.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-20-05 ("Protesters pepper sprayed")

In this DUmmie THREAD titled, “WTF? Protesters(behind 10 ft. fence) pepper sprayed,” the denizens of DUmmieland actually act outraged that they are not free to pelt the President’s limo. They act like this “restriction” on their freedom to act like thugs is yet another sign of impending fascism. They are lucky. If it were up to me, the DUmmies would have been sprayed with ice cold water whenever they tossed anything at the presidential limousine. So let us now read of DUmmie outrage in Bolshevik Red and the commentary of your humble correspondent in the [brackets]:

WTF? Protesters(behind 10 ft. fence) pepper sprayed.

[An OUTRAGE…..until you consider the fact that those poor widdle protestors hurled projectiles at the Presidents limo.]

Bush....you Hitler you!!!

[True. Not allowing DUmmies to throw things at the presidential limo is most definitely a sign of fascism.]

The world is disgusted at a country which proclaims to "spread democracy" when that country manipulates/controls/abuses it own people.

[Abusing DUmmies by not allowing them to threaten the President. Shameful!]

"...after demonstrators threw objects over the fence at police ...." That's what happens when you do that. No sympathy from me-- at all.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Why not just grease them all? They're already penned in, you don't even have to chase 'em.

[That idea will definitely be taken under consideration.]

I'm abosolutely positive that the whole crowd there didn't throw objects. Yet they just pulled out the big pepper spray cannon and let loose on that entire area. And with wind a huge band of people can be caught in that.

[Hang out with jerks and you should expect the worst.]

I'm willing to wager that it wasn't the ones right up front close to the fence doing the throwing, yet they bore the brunt of the spray. Not cool.

[Tough luck. And I’ll bet the DUmmies not throwing anything were cheering on the DUmmies who were tossing projectiles.]

Throwing things at the presidential motorcade, and I don't care what it is, is inexcusable. No sympathy here either. People have a way of connecting acts like this to the whole Democratic party, and they don't need the media to do it for them, they do it on their own. Dumb move.

[Another act of self-marginalization by the DUmmies.]

OH BULLSHIT..it's looking like Sheriff Clarke in Alabama in the 60's you don't indiscriminately harm an entire crowd for the actions of a few

[Except that the rest of the crowd was encouraging the hurlers.]

Sorry, but it was crowd control. And they were throwing things. I saw that much on C-Span. If you go to protest, you know this can happen so you should be prepared. The police were trying to keep this from getting out of control.

[You make too much sense you LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Note to the protesters, if you don't want to be pepper sprayed, don't throw shit at cops.

[I repeat…LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Good rule of thumb: Don't throw things at the President. Actually, don't throw things at anyone. But if you throw things at the President, you are probably going to get your ass beat by someone.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I remember MLK constantly throwing eggs at Alabama state troopers.

[Martin Luther King throwing eggs at Alabama state troopers? Making up history now, are we?]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-19-05 ("What's your fantasy for the inaugural Thursday?")

The DUmmies have gone from believing (“I Believe”) to fantasizing. Where recently they stated “I Believe John Kerry Will Be Inaugurated On Jan. 20,” they have now gone to fantasy as in this DUmmie THREAD titled “What's your fantasy for the inaugural Thursday?” If the DUmmies want to know what MY fantasy is, it is that Senator Barack Obama is laughing his ass off at the DUmmies via the DUFUs. The big difference is that my fantasy is actually in the realm of reality. However, let us indulge the DUmmies their fantasy as WE laugh our asses off at them in this DUFU edition. The DUmmie fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who hopes to watch the good senator on Oprah later today, is in the [brackets]:

What's your fantasy for the inaugural Thursday? Chimp's tele-prompter malfunctioning? Chimp tripping and scraping his face again at an important moment? Chimp's mystery bulge dropping out of the back of his jacket?

[Chimp taking the oath of office at noon?]

Frigid temps. Snowstorm. Everything cancelled.

[Excellent weather. DUmmieland crashes.]

close to 6 billion people protesting facism. Thats what this is about FACISM there is no cute little word for it,no sound bite,hate rant ,racist comment,it is facism .

[An election campaign with televised debates. It MUST be facism.]

I wake up from my nightmare. Find out that it was just a bad dream. Find out it's actually just the morning of Nov. 3 and Kerry won. Or, wake up to see Kerry taking the oath.

[Check your time and date. It is the afternoon of Nov. 2. All you DUmmies are loudly gloating over the Kerry victory due to the exit polls. Take a celebratory swig of champagne from Susan Estrich’s bottle.]

How about one of the parade floats turning out to be a display filled ...with proof of the election fraud? When it stops in front of Bush's private viewing booth, a load of policemen burst out of it and cart Bush off in handcuffs. Kerry rides in on a beautiful white horse and takes the oath of office instead of Bush ...

[The trouble is that campaign float has nothing but balloons full of hot air.]

Teresa gets so upset that she buys an island, and lets all of us live on it.

[That fantasy already happened. The island is called Nantucket. However, you peons aren’t allowed anywhere near it.]

I see eggs. Lots of eggs....

[I see jail time. Lots of jail time.]

French and German special forces advance on Washington...A snatch and grab mission executed to perfection. The result: a one way trip to the Hague for * and Co. to find out just how "quaint and obsolete" the Geneva Conventions really are.

[The only trouble with that scenario is that the French forces would surrender to the German forces before they even reach Washington.]

If I say what my fantasy really is the SS will not doubt pay a visit.

[You’re already said quite enough. Now answer that knocking at your door, DUmmie SheilaT. I repeat, DUmmie SheilaT.]

Surprise visit from Osama and his boys in 2001, I told friends was afraid to visit DC during the inauguration because I thought airplanes would be flying into buildings. Hell, I was eight months before my time (9/11). I would not be surprised if Osama has a special present for the President.

[And I wouldn’t be surprised if you have a special present from the Secret Service, DUmmie fortyfeetunder. I repeat, DUmmie fortyfeetunder.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-18-05 (DUmmies SLAM Barack Obama)

Time now for the DUmmie FUnnies to jump to the defense of its favorite Democrat Senator---Barack Obama. Hey, anybody who enjoys reading the DUmmie FUnnies CAN’T be all bad, even if he is a Democrat. Anyway you can see the DUmmies slamming Obama in this THREAD titled, “Barack Obama at bat on C-SPAN.” As usual the DUmmie whinings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, in his rare role as Democrat Defender, is in the [brackets]:

Let's see if he's worth his salt...nothing to note so far...

[Except for the fact that the good Democrat Senator enjoys reading the DUFUs. Oh, and a BIG shoutout to our favorite Democrat senator.]

hes very impressed with her credentials, blah blah blah. ho hum

[DISGUSTING!!! How dare Senator Obama show Condi Rice even common courtesy?]

Politics, politics....He's good at bridging the gap, but can he be a member of the opposition as well?

[Don’t worry. Obama is most likely to be in opposition to DUmmie lunacy. Not hard to be that way if you are a DUFU fan.]

i'm not feeling him so far. i'll wait

[I’m feeling that Senator is laughing his ass off…..at you DUmmies.]

My opinion: Obama not impressive. He's going out of his way to be "bipartisan." He's afraid to challenge her. Why?

[Common courtesy. Although I know you would love for Obama to wrestle Condi to the ground.]

Why doesn't he just go f'her and get it over with?
This is someone that is looked at as the future of the Dem Party???

[Senator Obama is probably the best thing the Democrats got going for them….which is why it wouldn’t surprise me too much if he switches over to the Dark Side in the near future.]

Obama is the new stealth Republican. Watch him...

[I AM! I AM! And I’m liking what I see. The DUmmie hate for Obama raises him sky high in my estimate.]

Unfortunately, I'm beginning to think he'll be a soft spot for the Dems instead of their savior.

[The only soft spot is in your head, DUmmie. ….Senator Obama, pay no attention to that jerk. And a final big DUFU SHOUTOUT to our favorite Democrat senator. If the DUmmies hate you, then you must be doing something RIGHT.]