How the DUmmies spent their Thanksgiving

It's an annual holiday tradition here at DUmmie FUnnies. We monitor how the DUmmies spend their Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Now you may be asking yourself, "Self, how can the DUmmies celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas, when a) they don't have a God to give thanks to, and b) they don't believe in Christ?" Good question. Nevertheless, the DUmmies do observe these holidays, not according to the purpose for which they were created, but rather as occasions for family gatherings, where they, left-wing moonbats that they are, can interact with their normal relatives and irritate the heck out of them.

So how did the DUmmies spend this Thanksgiving? We'll find out, starting with this little THREAD by Nadin Brzezinski, "Ah the duck is roasting," and then we'll take a survey of the DUmp, foraging from several threads.

So let us now gather round the table in the DUmmie dining room, decorated in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--who gave thanks to God in church on Thanksgiving Day, who is not out shopping today, and whose family is having the big turkey dinner a couple hours from now--is in the [brackets]:

Ah the duck is roasting. . . .

                       ["DUck???"]

 

the parrots are going nuts. . . .

[They think they're next.]

it is Thanksgiving. . . .

[The irony is lost on Nadin, as it is on all DUmmies. Don't fill in the blank, Nadin. "Thanksgiving" means you're supposed to be giving thanks TO GOD.]

except that Hubby is working.

[Yes, friends, as hard as it is to believe, there is a MR. Nadin. A lid for every pot, I guess.]

it makes me wonder, since they have never been required, well except the let's keep the lights on volunteer crew, to work on Thanksgiving. This soon will spread to other jobs.
[Nadstradamus predicts a trend.]

Oh and yes the hungry beaks are not happy. they want some duck NOW, and it will take still hours to roast. . . .

[You feed duck to PARROTS?? Isn't that like cannibalism, Nadin?]

[A DUmmie now replies to Nadin's post. . .]

I did not know that parrots ate meat. . . .

[Something you did not know, eh? Well, Miss Know-it-all is here to fill you in . . .]

It depends on the species. but Conures are omnivores. In the wild they have been observed going after carcasses as well.

[Is there ANYTHING that Nadin does not know?]

We feed them human food. . . .

[Yikes! I had heard some of your neighbors had gone missing, Nadin, but THIS??]

Oh and they love meat. Cookie, our nanday, begs for steak. He loves it.

[Just make sure it isn't from one of them cows that took in the Fukushima fumes. But you already knew that, didn't you, Naddie?]

Duck is yummy. . . .

[One of Nadin's parrots checks in. I think it's Hannibal, the Duckovore.]

 

[Well, that thread didn't go very far, so let's find another . . .]


Any good Thanksgiving stories? Any blowups at the dinner table; bitter relatives who are sore losers and do not love America?

[In other words, were you able to irritate the heck out of your normal relatives?]

Nope, actually after a whole day of the house smelling like duck, and the conures getting out of control, they dove right in, yummy duck and yam...the house is now at peace.

[Look who's the first one to reply! It's Nadin! She couldn't get any traction on her duck-roasting thread, so now she tries to hijack THIS thread! Notice, right out of the blue, she throws in the "conures," like anyone is supposed to know what she's talking about.]

We don't do relatives. . . .

[You do duck, you do human food, but at least you don't do your relatives. Good. Glad to hear there's a line you do not cross, Nadin.]

[Enough out of you for now, Nads. Go get your good rig together and head on down to Walmart to cover that massive walkout. Now let's hear from some others about their Thanksgiving . . .]

It was actually pleasant, we all voted for the POTUS. . . .

[Enjoy it while it lasts! Good luck with the higher insurance premiums and the 29-hour work week--IF you've even GOT a job!]

We celebrated Canadian Thanksgiving in October.

[Tell you what. Can we send Obama up your way? You send us some of your bacon and maple syrup, we give you Obama, and we'll call it a deal.]

We hide in the house all weekend. Travel is off the table. No problems anymore.

[Believe me, your relatives are VERY thankful!]

when my oldest cut her hand on the wishbone and everyone was teasing her and telling her she was going to turn into a turkey, and her sister told her next Thanksgiving was taken care of because she will be a huge turkey and my oldest said it was ok, Obama will pardon me.

[PARDON her? Heck, if she turns into a turkey, Obama may put her in his cabinet!]

I refuse to go to my family's house. Mom and siblings are crazy. They are hard right haters and I finally decided I'd had enough. . . .

[But just think of how you could aggravate and annoy them if you show up! Wouldn't that be worth it?]

If Republicans want to know why Americans turned their back on them this year in the election, all they need do is look in the mirror to see what loser-moocher-ingrate blobs they are.

[I think it was rather that all the loser-moocher-ingrate blobs turned out to vote for OBAMA, so they could get their free birth control and Obamaphones.]

My in-laws were born and raised in Alabama, and it shows. The election did come up, and the table was solidly Romney, except for Hubs and me and our 17-year-old nephew. . . . After dinner, Hubs schooled them all on their new benefits under Obamacare. . . .

[Let's see, the new benefits under Obamacare. Well, there's the tax, or jail time, if you don't buy a government-approved insurance policy. . . . Then there's your employer dropping the benefits he WAS giving you, so you can now enjoy OBAMA'S benefits. . . . Oh, and don't forget the shorter work week:  Part-time work is so much less strenuous, you know.]

I had fun talking about how screwed the GOP is by teabaggers. . . . I noticed across at the next table the father of a cousin's wife kept looking at me as I went on using words like "crazies" and "psychos" when I talked about teabaggers rather loudly. So of course, I talked even louder and stared a hole through the guy. . . . I'd had a few beers. I wanted to say, "hey, you got something to say there?" I don't know the guy at all so I especially didn't give a sh*t. But my wife told me to blow it off. He didn't say anything so I let it go.

[You are such a gentleman. Remarkable restraint on your part, I must say.]

Thanksgiving dinner, 26 adults, 8 children: not one republican. . . . Three turkeys, a ham and everything else. . . .

[I would say there were at least 26 turkeys.]

I was originally going to go to my sister's house for Thanksgiving, but after Obama and California Prop 30 won, she informed me that she was too angry and depressed to have any fun with a liberal like me, who voted for both. So I had turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing-on-the-side, Indian green beans, lotsa gravy, and peanut butter pie all by myself. And had a blast! No arguments, no anger . . .

[. . . no shocking memories, and the prevailing emotion was one of nostalgia for those left behind, combined with a spirit of bold curiosity for the adventure ahead! Arrrggghhh!!]

My mother is 90 and has dementia but when we brought up Obama being re-elected she shouted yeah!

[Demented Democrats for Obama! Yeah! See if she's singing the same tune when the death panels kick in.]

We all toasted President Obama with champagne. . . .

[I toasted him with used beverages in the bathroom.]

Ah, the joys of spending Thanksgiving with right wing nuts. . . . It all started when my SIL and her father spoke up at the same time and said how the President was driving the country to disaster, the ACA was going to be the demise of the country. . . .

[I'm guessing they didn't call it "the ACA." Probably "Obamacare," or, more likely, "that d*mn Obamacare."]

To which I responded "that is one opinion, a rather shallow opinion, but an opinion nonetheless"and . . . [blah, blah, blah, typical liberal harangue]. . . . Silence befell the group. Not a response from the RW'ers. Three glasses of wine later they left and I enjoyed my reheated dinner. I will be alone for Christmas rather than endure any more of those stupid f***ers' nonsense.

[You sure showed them, didn't you? Surprised they lasted the three glasses of wine.]

Good for you, my dear Sailingdiver! . . . Ya done good!

[You win the Piss-Off-the-Relatives Award for this year!]

This is why if you're not a liberal Democrat I won't even aknowledge you! Yet alone enter into a conversation with you. . . .

[Promise?]

all Republicans are f***ing scum.

[Nice!]

At least they shut the f*** up. Most of them just scream louder if anyone tries to stick a pin into their little hate-filled bubbles.

[Little Hate-Filled Bubbles Irony Alert!]

I made a large Cheese Ball that blew their socks off!

[Next time aim for the head.]

I had a rather pleasant thanksgiving with my autistic son, his rebel-without-a-cause brother and his hippie girlfriend, my eldest gun-nut son and his wife, his gay best friend and his partner, his Wal-Mart manager father-in-law, 90 year old grandmother-in-law, hypochondriac mother-in-law, bipolar brother in law, my long-suffering wife and, to make matters worse, me.

[Ah, to be a fly on the wall!]

Nadin reports: WALMART WORKERS TO WALK OUT ON BLACK FRIDAY

'Twas the night before Friday, when all through the DUmp,
Just one DUmmie was sniffing, she was getting a jump.
A story was breaking! 'Twas time to prepare--
Yes, Nadin Brzezinski soon would be there!

The DUmmies, all smug in their Bolshevik Red,
Were boring me stiff till I noticed this THREAD:
"On Friday, Black Friday," Nads exclaimed with a shout,
"The workers of Walmart all will walk out!"

Nadin, Girl Reporter, was posting this crap,
So I knew that a DUFU just fell in my lap.
You know she'll be there for a story this big
With press pass and notebook and good camera rig.

But not just reporter--she wears many a hat--
As activist too, she'll be there for that:
"On, Greeter! On, Checker! On, Stocker of Shelves!
On strike you must go! Show you're not happy elves!"

Of course, when Nadin posts a thread on DU,
Her fanboys, those bullies, will soon show up too.
But that makes for chuckles and iggy-list cheer,
And that's how Nadin won Top DUmmie last year.

So let us proceed, without further ado,
To hear from Nadin and the DUmmieland crew.
In Bolshevik Red there will rise such a racket,
While Henrickson's stuff you will see in a [bracket]:

WORKERS TO STAGE WALK OUTS AT WALMART STORES ON BLACK FRIDAY

[AND NADIN BRZEZINSKI WILL BE THERE!]

By Nadin Abbott

[Faster than a speeding trend. . . . More powerful than a Fukushima. . . . Able to cross the Rubicon in a single bound. . . . "Look, up in the sky!" "It's a journalist!" "It's an activist!" "It's SUPPERDUPERWOMAN!" . . . Yes, it's Supperduperwoman, strange visitor from . . . Poland, or Israel, or Mexico, or maybe a fallout shelter in San Diego . . . well, she's strange, we know that . . . who came to DUmmieland with powers and abilities far beyond those of normal DUmmies; and who, disguised as "Nadin Abbott," unpaid "reporter" for an insignificant online rag, fights a never-ending battle for . . . for . . . well, she fights a never-ending battle.]

November 20, 2012 (San Diego)—Across the nation and in San Diego County, Walmart workers are poised to stage a walk out on Friday, traditionally the biggest shopping day of the year.

[Poised, I tell you! All of them, all across the nation, poised! And Nadin is poised, too, ready to cover it all!]

This Thanksgiving, Walmart workers at more than 1,000 locations are seeking a seat at the bargaining table.

[And if they all sit down at the same time, the table will reach a tipping point!]

“Unless Walmart takes immediate steps to improve basic working conditions, workers throughout the company's vast operations — from factories and warehouses to retail stores — will participate in a massive walkout on Friday, November 23," states an e-mail sent by Color of Change.

[Nadin's source, "Color of Change," is a race-hustling little organization that hasn't been able to accomplish very much in its brief history. So how "massive" the walkout will be remains to be seen. But Nadin makes it sound like this thing will bring Walmart to its knees!]

The reasons are many, but lifting workers out of poverty is a key factor.

[So walking out, and losing your job, and losing it to someone who WANTS to work at Walmart--this will lift you out of poverty??]

[nadinbrzezinski the DUmmie then posts a link to Nadin Abbott the reporter's article. Then she closes her OP by saying . . .]

Nothing more to say...

[Oh, Nadin, don't tease us! I'm sure you will have more to say! You always do. But first, let's get a reaction from your loyal readers . . .]

Wow. That would be MAJOR. A new dawn is upon us.

[I think someone is yanking Nadin's chain. You're lucky Nadin did not detect your sarcasm, pal, or you'd be on the iggy list for sure!]

I will be there, With camera, note pad, press credentials, recorder, and parking off the property. If this goes the way...it will be historic.

[If Nadin is there, it will be hysteric!]

Wouldn't that be a blast if that went across the nation.

[Wouldn't that be a bust if it didn't. Nadin responds . . .]

1000 locations is across the nation.

[A thousand points of light to no impact.]

By the time I leave to cover the strike special on aisle two, it will be well underway. If this goes the way it could, this will be historic. Yes, prepared for violence honestly.

[Nadin is bringing her nunchucks. I don't know if you knew this, but Nadin is a master of martial arts. Or marital arts. Or something. Whatever it is, she's a master of it.]

Sadly, they will probably be fired.

[Which means that, laughably, Nadin's massive walkout story will likely be a a big bust, since most workers won't walk out.]

I will be up bright an early.

["Early," maybe, Nadin. But "bright," I'm not so sure.]

Their evil overlords will not tolerate this act of personhood.

[I, for one, welcome the Walmart overloads. High volume, low prices!]

this year I am doing Black Friday. The strike special on aisle two.

[Be careful not to get trampled by the crowds, Nadin. You're a small person to start with, and people might mistake you for Teddy Ruxpin or something.]

Even as a reporter, this is a concern.

[That people might mistake you for Teddy Ruxpin? I was thinking more like one of those troll dolls.]

 

Just in case, taking the zoom.

[It's a zoom out there, Nadin!]

They are right now at the NLBR to be exact. Wally World did not file the injunction on time. I need to furiously take some notes on that, for the Friday story and call corporate in the morning.

[Nadin Brzezinski is the hardest working girl reporter in show business!]

This afternoon, I stopped at Walmart on the way home from work. The cashiers all looked so scared and weary. I said, "How are you?" and my cashier said, "Fine." But it was so forced. I said, "Have a nice Thanksgiving!" and she said, "Okay. We'll all be here. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. All day. All three days." I told her, "Listen, people out there are learning about this. Public sentiment is starting to turn your way." She smiled for the first time, but then she had to rush into the next transaction. And her smile was so full of fear.

[She was probably afraid the guy behind you was going to haul off and slug you, DUmmie raging moderate, because you were holding up the line.]

I avoid Wally World. But have been covering a lo of labor stories. It's brewing, and not just Walmart.

[Nadin spots a trend.]

Some of us in the press will do the strike special, forgive me, educational picket, on Black Friday.

["Some of us in the press." Oh, Nadin! You crack me up!]

I'll have to see it to believe it.

[What? You don't believe it?? But, but, Nadin said it's going to be MASSIVE! 1000 locations! Historic! Just like that Occupy thingie! If Nadin said it, you can take it to the bank!]

For the record, I am not the only one to notice. . . .

[You mean there are OTHER reporters, trend-spotters even, who have seen this thing coming? I thought you were the only one. But if this is offically for the record, Nadin, I believe you.]

[Well, morning comes early on Black Friday, Nadin. Get some rest, drink plenty of fluids, and be there bright and--be there early, Nads. We're counting on you to keep us informed!]

No Wonder. It's a Bimbo Eruption!

The Obama Economy continues apace. Another business shutting down. Thousands of jobs lost. More tax revenue lost. Ho-hum.

But no Ho-Hos. Or Ding-Dongs. Or Twinkies. Or Wonder Bread. Hostess is going out of business. And even the DUmmies are having to adjust, as we see in this BREAD THREAD by DUmmie boston bean, "Do not laugh, I beg of you do not laugh!" Then we'll also look at this THREAD, "Here is what is going to happen to Twinkies."

So let us push our carts up and down the aisles of DUmmieland, in search of Dead Bread Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--reminding the DUmmies, "YOU OWN IT!"--is in the [bracket] sandwich:

Do not laugh, I beg of you do not laugh!

[Hey, this is the DUmmie FUnnies! We're looking at you DUmmies. How can we NOT laugh?]

I'm a pretty strong feminist, let me preface this story with that fact!

[OK, you've presented your prog credentials, DUmmie boston bean. Please continue.]

I have been having quite a bit of a hard time in thinking I may lose my beloved Wonder Bread, you know with Hostess closing and all.

[The striking union held their ground, that's the important thing. So 18,500 workers will now be out of a job. So there will be that much less tax revenue coming into the treasury. So DUmmie boston bean will no longer have her beloved Wonder Bread. These are the sacrifices we must make TO TELL IT TO THE MAN!!!!]

Well, hubby went grocery shopping today and the stores were picked clean of Wonder Bread, Twinkies, Donettes, everything Hostess.

[No Wonder.]

Holy Cow!

[Holy Sacred Cow, Big Labor!]

He went out to another store to see if he could find a loaf of Wonder Bread, and a couple of other things we needed!!!!!

[Now with multi-exclamation marks!!!!!]

And I told him, try to find a replacement if you can't find the Wonder Bread.

[How about air-filled wallpaper paste?]

Now, I'm really beginning to get really concerned I may have consumed my last slice of Wonder Bread!

[The Wonder Years are over. Wonder Bread is toast. What is the point of going on? I mean, really.]

I'm sorry to have been bothering you all with my fear over this loss, but I really have been fretting about the loss of this bread. I know, please don't tell me how bad it is for me. I don't care. I like the bread and have been bred on Wonder Bread!

[New York Post headline: BROAD BRED ON BAD BREAD UP TO HEAD WITH DREAD.]

Grilled cheese sandwiches will not be the same without my favorite Wonder Bread!

[Try grilling the cheese without the bread. Who knows, you may like it.]

So anyhow, hubby gets home from the grocery store. . . . He says the second store was out of Wonder Bread too, and all other hostess products. People must be stock piling the stuff.

[Nadin Brzezinski. Her fingerprints are all over this. Fifteen pallets for her fallout shelter, I bet.]

But anyhow, he whips out . . .

[Careful . . .]

But anyhow, he whips out this loaf of bread:

[It's a Bimbo eruption!]

I'm gonna give it a try, because I don't have another choice, but DAYUM! Did they have to name it BIMBO!?

[What's in a name? That which we call a Bimbo, by any other name would sell as wheat.]

[Her fellow DUmmies now commiserate with DUmmie boston bean . . .]

You know, you are what you eat.

[And you guys have been eating DUmmi Bears.]

pronounced Beembo.

[pronounced DUm-mee.]

Just tried a bit of it, and it wasn't bad.

[Let's get DUmmie boston bean to try it! She'll eat anything!]

We have Bimbo here in the NW. . . .

[Bill Clinton is on his way!]

I tried not to laugh. I swear I did. It wasn't so much the name of the bread, but the fact your husband bought it.

[Yeah, boston bean, I thought you said you were a strong feminist! What are you doing having your husband buying things for you? Aren't you an independent woman? Why do you even HAVE a husband?? Who needs 'em?]

I always thought it should be "Bimba" anyway, "Bimbo" should be for boys.

[It's only boy bimbos for benburch.]

If you absolutely must have white balloon bread that makes your teeth squeak, Bimbo bread is great stuff.

[Disgustibus non est disputandum.]

It's made by a Mexican company, Grupo Bimbo. . . .

[I, for one, welcome our new Mexican ovenlords.]

a national brand like Hostess is likely not going away for long. . . . it will probably outlive us all.

[You may be right. I've still got a Twinkie I bought back in 1967.]

I hear that Hostess products have deteriorated over the years.

[Not my Twinkie! Still soft and golden!]

Motto: "Bimbo, for the breast in bed". . . .

[Gropo Bimbo.]

The company is headquartered in Mexico. Bimbo doesn't mean the same thing there as in English. . . . Pretty soon we'll all be eating pan Bimbo.

[As opposed to Pan American.]

Damned Americans. They think English is the only language and everything is in English.

[Pan American!]

Kind of like when Pizza Hut sold their P'zone in Italy and people read it as "pezon" which means nipple.

[They sold Pizza Hut IN ITALY?? Why??]

In any case watch for Bimbo brand bread in your supermarket.

[BLAND BREAD BRAND TO EXPAND.]

To me bread is bread. I use WalMart Great Value bread. . . .

[WalMart?? You shop at WALMART?? Turn in your Prog Card immediately!! Prepare for tombstoning!]

I know your serious about the issue but kind of put in in prospective. There are people who are starving.

[Like those union strikers who just bit the brand that fed them.]

you can put some Olive Oil on each side. . . . Hmmm good.

[A little Extra Virgin with your Bimbo. . . . Yumm!]

I think their Bimbo is different from our bimbo. Er . . . . that bimbo. I mean Bimbo. The bread Bimbo, not the bimbo bimbo. Ya know?

[Bimbo erudition.]

Bimbo bakeries most likely to buy Hostess!

[BIMBO TO BUY BANNED BRAND PLANNED?]

I always wondered if it was actually bread. . . . I just thought that's how it got its name: Wonder (if it's) Bread.

[They tried "I Can't Believe It's Bread," but that didn't sell too well.]

it is bread, it's just batter whipped, instead of dough.

[Battered white bread syndrome.]

Well the little bear is cute.

[Tom Vilsack. . . Paging Mr. Tom Vilsack. . . .]

 

All bread is bad.

[All generalizations are bad. People who make them should all be shot.]

I havent eaten bread in 10 years.

[If you've been eating Wonder Bread all that time, I agree.]

I think it has too much gluten which is a kind of glue.

[Glutenous maximus.]

Because my mom swore by it, I've always made all my French toast and bread puddin with Wonder Bread.

[If you made my French toast with Wonder Bread, I'd be swearing, too.]

I don't want to see the "Hostess Bimbo" mascot.

[Her catchphrase: "Me love you long time!"]

Heck even the raccoons wouldn't mess with that Wonder "solidified chemtrail in a bag".

[PJ tried to get some Wonder Bread for Li'l Beaver once. Had a BOGO coupon. Li'l Beaver set a cigar to it and it went up in a puff of smoke.]

 

Maybe bimbo can buy out Hostess and re-launch their bread as Wonder-Bimbo.

[Sandra Fluke could get a job as their mascot.]

I'd rather be around a bimbo than a grumpy or snarky or know-it-all or Republican any day of the week.

[Imagine if they had "Rethuglican Bread"!! Ewww!!]

 

sweets lovers across the nation hung their heads in sorrow on a dark Friday yesterday as Hostess announced they would cease making their line of products, which include the iconic Twinkies brand, because of the Bakers Union Strike.

[The union spoke truth to power and WON! They held out and REFUSED to give an inch! Woo-hoo! Of course, they now have no jobs to come back to, but that's beside the point.]

But now as the brand heads towards liquidating and selling off their assets, a Mexican company may be angling to resurrect the golden Twinkies. . . . Mexico’s Grupo Bimbo may hold the inside track.

[Bimbo Bakery to the rescue!]

So is this the narrative that CorpMedia is using? . . . That a strike brought down Hostess?

[Hmmm. . . . Difficulty. . . . The union goes on strike, threatening the ability of the company to produce its goods. . . . The union succeeds. . . . The company folds. . . . But now, now, we don't want to blame the union, do we? What's a dutiful prog to do??]

The union can still be used to save this situation for the workers. . . . The union could still function as the organizing body of a bakery worker cooperative. . . . If they put their union's money and their own money together (all of them), they might just have enough to garner external support to buy up what they need to get started. . . . It sounds like a pipe dream, but it's not.

[A workers' cooperative! Yeah, that's the ticket! WHEEEE!!! C'mon, kids, let's put on a SHOW!!!!]

Frankly, a little government investment . . . could really help make this happen.

[Yes, a government bailout! Invest in America's snack food infrastructure! Why, even better--a government takeover! General Hostess! Electric Twinkies! Solyndra Cakes! Obambo Bread!!]

We should organize the Bimbos.

[You know, you're right. We need a Bimbo Czar . . .]

 

Defunding DUmmieland: Nadin leads the way!

The Boys of DUmmer. The Triumvirate. The Troika. The Powers That Be. And they would be (pictured above): Head DUmmie Skinner (center); his Mini-Me, Assistant Head DUmmie EarlG (the little guy); and Techno DUmmie Elad (the other guy). As you can see from their appearance at some swank soiree where they were wined and dined, the Troika are living high on the hog, galavanting to and fro, from one high-falutin' shindig to the next, hobnobbing with the movers and the shakers, rubbing elbows with the rich and powerful. (Well, usually not Elad. The other two generally don't let him in on that stuff. If DUmmieland were the Pawn Stars, Elad would be Chumlee.)

How do the Troika afford this lavish lifestyle? On the backs of their clueless DUpes, the DUmmies, that's how. While the rank-and-file DUmmies are churning out post after post down in the dark, dank recesses of DUmmieland Dungeon, Skinner and EarlG are lounging around up in their ritzy penthouse high atop DUmmieland Tower, smoking $5 stogies, sipping on highballs, and raking in the dough. You see, they CHARGE their prog peons to do their dirty work for them! If the DUmmies DON'T pay up, then they have to endure acres of advertising on every page. Which means that the Troika are ALSO being paid big bucks by those evil capitalist advertisers!! And on TOP of that, there is little doubt that Skinner's pockets are being lined by the hierarchy of the Democrat Party for "services rendered," i.e., delivering the votes of his obedient little prog sheep. Yes, it's good to be a Head DUmmie!

Who will stop this madness? Who will blow the whistle on $kimmer and EarlG, who truly are the 1% at the top of the DUmp? Who will gaze up at DUmmieland Tower and speak truth to The Powers That Be and shout out in a loud voice . . .

 

Who will step up to the plate like that? Why, none other than that brave little poster, DUmmie nadinbrzezinski. Yes, Know-it-all Nadin knows tyranny when she sees it--she has a degree in HISTORY, don't you know--and she will NOT let this oppression stand! No more! Nads is staging her own Occupy DUmmieland! As of this day, Nadin REFUSES to pony up and buy a star! The Rubik's Cube has been crossed! There's no turning back now! Starve the beast! Defunding DUmmieland begins TODAY!!

Know-it-all Nadin airs her grievances in a THREAD titled "Yay!!!! I am now starless!!!!!" which I will not link to, since it was posted in a supper-dupper secret forum at the DUmp that only registered DUmmies can see. But we have our many mole sources operating deep within the bowels of DUmmieland, and they have their ways of getting this thread to us. Don't ask.

So let us now watch Nadin nail her manifesto to the DUmmieland Tower door, in Boldshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wondering if Nads will leave or get the tombstone first, is in the [brackets]:

Yay!!!! I am now starless!!!!!

[Starless in San Diego.]

Finally, after ten years of giving money regularly I am now starless.

[Free at last! Free at last! Thank Gaia Almighty, I'm free at last!]

Good.

[Great, Nadin! Bring those 1% oppressors, $kimmer and EarlG, TO THEIR KNEES!!]

And if you have no idea why....well...

[Oh, we know, Nadin, we know. In your vital role as journalist-activist, you have been leading a gallant crusade over these many months, sounding the shofar on behalf of the Occupy movement. Many had written off Occupy as being dead as a doornail, a brief and passing fad that existed so that guys could hit on hippie chicks in tents. But no, not Nadin! You saw the real effectiveness of Occupy, that while it did not seem to be accomplishing a darn thing at all, you knew, didn't you, you KNEW, Nadin, that Occupy was secretly bringing the 1% to their knees! And now you want to see that same surgical-like effectiveness and efficiency applied to the oppression going on at the DUmp! We salute you, madam!]

my way to reward those who have let the bullies do their stuff.

[Huh? What? You mean you're NOT letting your star lapse because of the 1% lifestyle of Skinner and EarlG?? You're doing it because they don't stop "the bullies"?? You mean the DUmmies who call you out or tease you whenever you go into your condescending, unintentionally funny, know-it-all routine, which is, like, all the time? That's the reason? That's IT???]

[A fellow DUmmie responds . . .]

ya. i have been kinda wishin i was, lol, for the misogyny allowed and encouraged. it is not often that you and i are right there, in understanding. but, i so get what you are saying.

[The first responder is DUmmie seabeyond, who apparently has done a Vulcan mind-meld with Nadin. Scary. Nadin replies . . .]

Easy peachy, don't buy a star. Yup, the adds are annoying...so what?

[The "adds" are annoying, but then, so is Nadin. So what?]

I will not give my hard earned money to a place that has a bully problem and it refuses to deal with it. No more.

[NO MORE! THIS BULLYING HAS GOT TO STOP! I DON'T CARE IF I HAVE A "KICK ME" SIGN ON EVERY POST, WHICH I DO . . . THIS BULLYING SHALL NOT STAND!!]

i couldnt agree with you more nadin. this is my disappointment, absolutely. that i allowed my money to fund something i so inherently oppose.

[Together, Nadin and seabeyond will valiantly lead the charge up the DUnghill! Citizens of DUmmieland, who will fight WITH them?]

Easy solution! Leave! It's really that simple.

[Well, I guess not DUmmie kurtzapril4.]

Why not just leave if you hate it so much?

[I guess not DUmmie Firebirds01.]

I'm not sure...but I'm fairly certain this would make you the highest post-count active poster without a star. Congrats!

[Close to 112,000 posts, and now not a single star. Know-it-all Nadin has become None-at-all Nadin.]

Crunchy!!

[It's a Nadin thread, so of course DUmmie SidDithers, one of the aforementioned "bullies"--Sid shows up to have some fun with his favorite poster.]

I am sorry that it has come to this. Seems like the bullies have backed off some now that "election season" is over.

[Not so fast! Didn't you see that SidDithers post just there?]

I did not participate as much either When you are the one producing local news and chasing interviews. . . .

[Nadin puts on her Girl Reporter hat to explain why she hasn't been posting much lately.]

 

[Except now, she's Brenda Starrless.]

Tried for nine years, took it all the way to the top... After the last spat, nope...will not give my money. High post number and no star. I think it says it all.

[It says: "NADIN BRZEZINSKI WILL NOT BE MESSED WITH! Skinner and EarlG, if you will not listen, if you will not act, you will SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!! Am I making myself clear?" . . . Actually, Nadin, making yourself clear would be a first.]

I'll make an additional donation this year in your honour, because I think the Admins have handled your issues appropriately.

[Hee! Hee! Sid the Bully will foil Nadin's plan, by making sure she gets that star after all!]

and now that I have income to get my star back, I won't be donating, just to offset your additional donation.

[ANOTHER DUmmie intervenes, offsetting Sid's star with his own non-star! It's Star Wars!]

See...everybody's happy.

[But not Nadin!]

Between this and refusing to serve on juries, I'm sure admin will be throwing up hands.

[And then bringing hands down, slapping their knees in gales of laughter!]

You sure told us!

[Another "bully" checks in, DUmmie zappaman. He heard there was a Nadin thread and wanted to get in on the fun.]

Now if you would only keep your many promises to leave after every time a jury hides one of your nasty posts.

[You can't get rid of the Nads THAT easily!]

she's too busy being a doctorlawyercaptainsergeantmajorPHDchemistEMTveteranarian to keep promises.

[So many hats, so little time.]

you left out trained historian, cop, firefighter, and reporter with a real press pass!

A REAL press pass? In her hat and everything? I'm impressed.

And fencer. Don't forget fencer.

[Hee! Hee! Oh, Nadin . . . you've done it again!]

If you're really serious about how you feel, you would refuse to post here until DU puts you on the payroll. Otherwise, you're simply feeding the "bully" machine, to use your term.

[Starve the beast, Nadin, starve the beast. Simply don't post, and that will stop the bullies. But then, but then. . . . No, forget I said that, Nadin.]

They should consider paying her. The entertainment value is priceless.

[Thank you, DUmmie pintobean! That's what I was just thinking! Come on, Skinner, get Nads on the payroll! She's your "star" without a star!]

Is she really being bullied? I know she thinks she is, but this is basically yet another FU DU thread.

[Now turned into a DUFU thread! Thanx!]

From the looks of things, you ought to pull this stunt weekly...you are a great 'fundraiser'.

[Nadin's star-pulling, attention-getting, defunding-DUmmieland scheme ironically has led to INCREASED donating to the DUmp! Way to go, Naddie! Not only did the bullies come out to play, you also are keeping Skinner in caviar!]

DUmmies pooh-pooh Democrat vote fraud

AND OFTEN

Hypocrisy, thy name is DUmmie. We have seen this, and said this, many times over the years. The DUmmie DUbble standard is always in effect.

And so it is when it comes to vote(r) fraud. Actually, the DUmmies prefer to use the term "election fraud," since "vote(r) fraud" implies that it is done by individual voters (i.e., Democrats), whereas "election fraud" is done by unseen evil powers manipulating electronic voting machines (i.e., Diebold) whenever a Democrat loses. The DUmmies contend, on the basis of no evidence whatsoever, that both the 2000 and 2004 elections were stolen by evil Republicans. Now, however, when there IS abundant evidence of massive "irregularities" in predominately Democrat precincts in cities like Philadelphia, Cleveland, Miami, Richmond--possibly tipping the balance in key states like Florida, Virginia, and Ohio--now the DUmmies cannot even IMAGINE the possibility of fraud, and they ridicule Republicans for even raising the question! No investigation necessary, nosiree!

We see the DUmmie DUbble Standard on display here in this THREAD, "Was this election stolen by massive Democrat vote fraud?" and in this THREAD, "In 59 Philadelphia voting wards, Mitt Romney got zero votes."

So let us now go to the land where they all take the Hypocritic Oath, DUmmieland, in Late Red Round One Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, born and raised in the city of Chicago and thus familiar with Democrat deviocracy, is in the [brackets]:

Was this election stolen by massive Democrat vote fraud?

[Very posssibly. It was a squeaker of an election, a few hundred thousand votes in a few key states making the difference. And there are these reports out there of questionable results in a number of cities. And since you DUers, being the good citizens that you are, who yourselves have crusaded against election fraud in the past--why, I'm sure you'll be eager to have these troubling irregularities looked into and thoroughly investigated, to make sure that everything was done on the up-and-up and that Our President won fair and square.]

Um, no. Next question.

["Um, no"?? "UM, NO"??? That's it?? Don't you want this thing investigated, to remove all doubt? This IS DUmmieland, isn't it, where you are all about fair elections??]

Yes, people voted.

[Yes, even dead people. This is true democracy. Why should the non-breathing be disenfranchised?]

 

I am sure some people think that when women and minorities vote, it is voter fraud.

[It is, if they vote multiple times in multiple locations under multiple names. You know, the Obama campaign's incredible emphasis on "early voting," which seemed obsessive at the time, now makes a lot more sense.]

How about the Dems and the R's unite to eliminate nearly all chances of voter fraud?

[OK, I agree. First of all, we should insist on every voter producing a valid photo ID. Then we should limit or eliminate "early voting," which is an open invitation for mischief. Third, we should insist on there being plenty of Democrat election judges and poll-watchers present in heavily Republican precincts, as well as plenty of Republican election judges and poll-watchers present in heavily Democrat precincts. They should be warmly welcomed and protected in these potentially hostile locations, don't you agree? Yes, these are all GREAT ideas to insure fair elections, and so I'm SURE you will agree!]

And how about some real steel baretrap punishments for those caught engaging in any type of election or voter fraud?!

[BEWEAR THE BARETRAP!]

In addition to while were at it, we can straighten out this voter ID big pile of Bullsh*t that seems to become the latest and greatest GOP line of tragic comedy. Where's the evidence? Both sides should have plenty of evidence to prove that requiring everyone to have ID is justified rather than a complete waste of time.

[Well, let's see. . . . We require a photo ID to get on an airplane, to cash a check, to buy Sudafed, to get into an Obama rally. . . . Yet a simple little thing like this is too much to ask to make sure a voter is who he says he is??]

DU Rec for utter insanity.

[DUFU Rec for DUmmie hypocrisy.]

What a dumb question.

[It's only a dumb question when Republicans ask it. Otherwise, "election fraud" is an old DUmmie standby.]

And pure projection. . . .

[For, as we all know, only Rethuglicans can commit election fraud.]

 

In 59 Philadelphia voting wards, Mitt Romney got zero votes. . . .

[And Zero got more votes than voters.]

In 59 Philadelphia voting wards, Mitt Romney got zero votes. . . .

[Philadelphia, Philadelphia. . . . Now why does that name ring a bell? Oh, that's right! There was that report last week, on election day--all those Republican election watchers being forcibly ejected from all those Philadelphia polling places. You know, that's kind of a strange coincidence. I wonder if there's any connec-- Naaah!!]

It's Always Sunny in Philadephia.

[Chance of Democrat votes:  130%]

Philadelphia freedom in the city of brother love.

[The bruthas are free to do whatever they want.]

My admiration for the People of Philadelphia just went up exponentially.

[As did Obama's votes.]

Philly is ALL BLUE!

[This post courtesy of the ironically named Blue State Bandit.]

I'm sure these were black wards, but it's still hard to believe, not one vote? I know it's possible, but is it believable?

[QUIET! How DARE you suggest that even ONE black person might ever vote for an evil Rethuglican!!]

One place, there were two R committeepeople but only one Romney vote. . . .

[Rethuglicans should only get a half-vote anyway. If that.]

Note to self: find realtor in Philadelphia.

[Good luck! But even if you don't survive until 2016, don't worry. You'll still be able to vote in the next election.]

First impression is that there's something wrong. . . .

[STOP! YOU MUST NOT QUESTION DEMOCRAT VICTORIES! ONLY RETHUGLICAN!]

Let the layoffs begin! Or: You get what you vote for

Elections have consequences. We tried to tell you that, DUmmies. Governor Romney tried to tell you that. He said that Obamacare would be a jobs-killer. But did you believe him? Did you believe us? NOOO!! Well, guess what? Now that your beloved Barack managed to come up with enough votes in Florida, Ohio, and Virginia to get his sorry ass re-elected--which means that Obamacare now will not be reversed in the foreseeable future--guess what has started to happen, even starting the day after the election? That's right. Let the layoffs begin! You see, DUmmies, you get what you vote for.

The DUmmies are STUNED that such a thing could happen, as we see in this THREAD, "Vegas Employer: Obama Won–So I Fired 22 Employees." That evil, evil employer! How DARE he try to stay in business, much less make a profit! The dopes in DUmmieland cannot seem to make the connection that when the government increases the cost of doing business, either the business will try to find ways to compensate or else the business will go out of business. Duh! Or, I should say, DUh!

So let us now enter the world of the dense-headed denizens of the DUmp, in Bread Line Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--telling the DUmmies, "Obama Recession Part Two? You OWN it!"--is in the [brackets]:

Vegas Employer: Obama Won–So I Fired 22 Employees

[What Obamacare does in Las Vegas, ends in lost wages.]

A Las Vegas business owner with 114 employees fired 22 workers today, apparently as a direct result of President Obama’s re-election. . . . "I explained to them a month ago that if Obama gets in office that the regulations for Obamacare are gonna hurt our business, and I’m gonna have to make provisions to make sure I have enough money to cover the payroll taxes, the additional health care I’m gonna have to do. . . ."

[Wow. Who could have seen this coming? Why, as a matter of fact, WE did. And we told you. But did you listen?]

Wow, just... wow. No words.

[Wow, just . . . two words: Obama. Care.]

Doubt this is even true. . . .

[If I pretend hard enough this didn't happen, then . . . it didn't happen!]

Will probably be hearing lots more of these "scary" stories in the next few weeks. . . .

[Try, the next few DAYS.]

I'd like to see a headline...that reads...Business Owner - "Obama won so I hired 22+ people"

[I hear the repo companies are hiring.]

Like he'd ever have 22 people he didn't actually need to run his business. . . .

if he fired 22, that would be because of waste.... unneeded employment.

[Or--now follow me on this--he could handle those 22 employees BEFORE, but NOW, because of the added cost of Obamacare, he has to scale back. Have you considered that? I know, that requires thinking, and thinking is hard. . . .]

I suspect Mr. X's business is located at the base of Bullsh*t Mountain.

[No, actually, it's located at the base of Costs Mountin'.]

Your employer can dump you anytime they want. Unless you are union you are one minute away from your last paycheck if your boss decides it is so. Without Obama Care you and your family are sh*t out of luck. I think he just illustrated why the ACA is so important.

[So let me see if I follow you on this. . . . Obamacare's costs may cause your employer to lay you off. In which case, you'll be out of work and . . . and you'll need Obamacare! Yes, just brilliant!]

most of obamacare not even underway yet, so this is pure BS. . . .

[Yes, pure BS! Whoever heard of a businessman planning ahead, taking steps to meet a looming crisis? That's just crazy!]

when you own a business, you do what you gotta do to survive.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

F the employer, the employees make the bussiness mostly anyway. . . .

[Who needs employers anyway? Employees can just employ themselves!]

No law has changed from yesterday to today.

[Hello!! Earth to DUmmie! What HAS changed is the chance of Obamacare being repealed in the near future. Is this too hard for you? You ARE able to tie your shoes, aren't you?]

Dickhead.

[Overhead.]

If an employer says that they have to cut back the number of employees as a business decision, they are free to do that. . . . His public reason why was because since Obama won, he needed to cut expenses now in order to be prepared for higher expenses later.

[But, but . . . IT'S NOT FAIR!!! WAAAHHHH!!!!]

his explanation for the firings was not that they were politically based, but were based on his belief that health care reform will adversely impact his bottom line and that, given the results of the election, that isn't going to change.

[It finally looks like comprehension is beginning to set in.]

What a POS.

[I know. Obama really is a-- No, wait. I think you're referring to the business owner.]

I call total and utter BS on the entire story. . . . I could call my local talk radio and claim to be the Cat God Bastet (from ancient Egypt). Wouldn't make it true.

[No, of course not. We all know you're really the Moonbat Goddess DUmeter (from ancient Babbleloonia).]

What an @sshole!!!!

[LEAVE BARACK ALONE!!!]

If this is true, his ability to do MORE business has just been curtailed. And the employees he has left are going to be overburdened and may burn out.

[By George, I think you're beginning to get it! . . . Which reminds me. This must be Bush's fault. Yep, Obamacare is Bush's fault.]

Needs his business confiscated. Since he can't run it properly and uses it to punish his employees, he shouldn't be allowed to own it. The State or City needs to confiscate under eminent domain and give it to someone responsible who will show more concern for the community.

[DUmmie TRJuan (14 posts), while I appreciate the effort, and that's CLOSE to what a real DUmmie might say, I think you're being just a LITTLE too over the top to not be spotted as a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! Nice try, though!]

sorry, but that's just ridiculous. . . .

[See what I mean?]

There were reports of this from other states on Freerepublic. None of them had enough information to research at all, so it's all just bullsh*t to try and scare Obama supporters.

[Actually, DUmmie Kablooie, the reports of massive layoffs, from multiple businesses, have now started to POUR in, from all across the country.]

Translation: I am a sh*tty businessman who's failed and is now scapegoating the black guy.

[Translation of DUmmie post: When all else fails, play the race card.]

Looks like another one is making excuses. . . . EAST CARBON, Carbon County — A Utah coal company owned by a vocal critic of President Barack Obama has laid off 102 miners. The layoffs at the West Ridge Mine are effective immediately. . . . They were announced in a short statement made public Thursday, two days after Obama won re-election. The layoffs are necessary because of the president's "war on coal," the statement said. . . . In its statement, UtahAmerican Energy blames the Obama administration for instituting policies that will close down "204 American coal-fired power plants by 2014" and for drastically reducing the market for coal.

[Obama is out to destroy the coal industry. Obama wins the election. Coal company takes measures to deal with the impending crisis. But, no, it's just "making excuses."]

[And so it begins: Layoffs. Reductions in force. Cutbacks in hours. Loss of benefits. We warned you. But, hey, you wanted to make sure Ol' Mattressback, Sandra Fluke, could get her free birth control! So thanks, DUmmies! Thanks for playing . . . YOU VOTED FOR IT!]

DUmmies invite us to Kamp Kumbaya!

"Let's all be pals now, shall we? And why don't you poor, misguided, voting-against-your-own-interests Republicans--why don't you all come over to OUR campfire here at Kamp Kumbaya and stay for a while and become enlightened like us?" That's the theme here in this day-after THREAD by DUmmie dawg, "A serious and sympathetic post for any lurking conservatives."

So it turns out the DUmmies like us, after all. Isn't that nice? Let's all get along. Just pull out our spines and lobotomize our brains, and we can all become one big happy family, living in a beautiful Prog Land of Big Teat, Big Nanny, Big Gaia, Big Barrenhood, Big Homo, and Big Weed. Ah, it's a brave new world!

So let us now all hold hands and skip on over to Kamp Kumbaya, in Campfire Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, battered and bruised but unbowed, is in the [brackets]:

A serious and sympathetic post for any lurking conservatives.

[Sniff, sniff . . . (wiping tears from eyes) . . . What's that you say, DUmmie dawg? You have a SYMPATHETIC post for us? Are you being serious? Why, yes, you are. You even say so:  "A serious and sympathetic post." Please, go on, DUmmie dawg. And don't mind me if I'm still blubbering a bit. It's been a rough go.]

Your pollsters and your pundits lied to you. They told you all the mainstream polls were "skewed". They told you it was going to be a Romney landslide.

[How about when YOUR pollsters told you that Gore was going to win? Oh, that's right. He did. But the rethuglicans stole it. Or how about when your pollsters told you Kerry was going to win? Oh, that's right. He did. But the rethuglicans stole it. So . . . hmmm . . . could it be possible . . . Philadelphia, Cleveland, Miami. . . . A few hundred thousand votes in a few key states. . . . NAAAAHHH!!!]

They lie to you about other things as well. They are lying to you about climate change.

[You see, the truth is this: Climate change (formerly, "global warming") can ONLY be man-made. More specifically, it can only be rich-white-man-made. Otherwise, there would NEVER be ANY variation in climate. The weather would be EXACTLY the same from year to year. . . . BTW, DUmmies, the 1930s called. They want you to come and visit the Dust Bowl.]

And they constantly lie to you about the income distribution of the tax cuts they propose.

[The truth is this: We should tax everyone making over $250,000 a year--we should tax those rich white b*st*rds at 100% of their income! No, change that, 110%! Put them in chains! Make them indentured servants! Get out the whips! That'll solve our debt crisis! Then we'll have all the money we need for roads and bridges and schools and teachers and free healthcare and free birth control and free smart phones and . . . and. . . . Hold on, wait a minute. . . . If we take all the money away from all the rich people, and then they have no money left, then how. . . . No, don't want to think about it!! Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts! Tax the rich! Tax the rich! Income equality! Free birth control! Step right up, getchyer free Obamaphone!]

The biggest lies they tell, though, are about us - the liberals. The truth is this:

[Oh, please tell us, DUmmie dawg! It's become obvious now, based on what you have said, that they must have been withholding the truth from us about you liberals! Please straighten us out!]

We believe in hard work. . . .

[BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh, that's a good one! I get it, you're starting out with a little humor! "Hard work"! Ha! You've turned the safety net into a hammock. Well, I suppose you do believe in SOME people doing hard work, so you can have some wealth to redistribute.]

and that it would be best if every able-bodied working age person had a job.

[It would be best, but we're not going to do anything about it. In fact, we're going to reward non-work, and provide incentives for people who want to stay on non-work. And we're going to punish the people who do work hard and who do achieve, loading lots of disincentives on them and taxing them out the wazoo. Sounds like a plan!]

We believe in families; strong families make a strong America.

[So let's provide programs to encourage and enable GENERATIONS of Americans to abandon marriage and have no father in the home, thus destroying the black family, destroying neighborhoods, driving out jobs, ruining schools, creating crime. . . . Let's have strong HOMOSEXUAL "families" (sic, sick). . . . Let's punish hard-working families, loading them down with so much taxes and government regulations that they have no time or money for anything else! Yes, strong families! Do go on, DUmmie dawg. . . .]

We believe in the freedom of religion. We would never support a candidate who was openly hostile to Christianity. . . .

[Oh, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This may be the FUnniest one of all! You see, we've been doing the DUmmie FUnnies here for over eight years. And if there's one leitmotif running through the annals of DUmmieland, it is the open, abject HATRED of Christianity and Christians! Every day, in every way, Christianity is ridiculed and reviled in the DUmp. Expressing traditional moral values is grounds for tombstoning. Now I suppose the CANDIDATES you support are a little more circumspect about being OPENLY hostile to Christianity. They want to get elected. But their policies--abortion, homosexual "marriage," the Obamacare HHS mandate--these are a BIG slap in the face to Christians. But, please continue, DUmmie dawg . . .]

We believe in success. Most of us do not favor punitive tax rates for the rich. . . .

["Most of us" = "Hardly any of us." The whole Obama "campaign," if you want to call it that, was BASED on punitive tax rates for the rich.]

We believe in free enterprise capitalism (well, most of us). . . . we favor regulated capitalism. . . .

[Well, we believe in sort of a Marxist free-enterprise capitalism. . . .]

Most of all, we believe in America. We love this country. . . .

[As long as we can smoke our weed and abort our babies and shack up with anything we please and live in a safe, nanny-state, cradle-to-grave, mediocre, gray little world. And make others put up with that and pay for that.]

We may not always be right about everything. . . .

[In fact, we not be right about anything. . . .]

but we are motivated by our love of the country and its people - ALL of its people.

[Except the Rethuglicans. And the Christians. And the rich white guys. They can go to hell. Or, better yet, they should be reprogrammed and bow to our will and become like us. Yes, come join us here at Kamp Kumbaya, dear friends! We'll fix you!]

We are your friends and your neighbors.

[I can see the commercial now . . . (Announcer's voice, with images of tattooed freaks playing on the screen) . . . We're the Democrats. We're your neighbors. You know, the weird ones down the block, the lesbians who take their out-of-wedlock children to the day-care center before going to the Wicca meeting. Yeah, that's us. We're your neighbors. We're the Democrats.]

I'm telling you the truth.

[THANK you, DUmmie dawg! Thank you for enlightening us! Thank you for your kind sympathy and concern! Thank you for inviting us over to Kamp Kumbaya! We really appreciate it. You like us! You really like us! No wonder your conciliatory post got HUNDREDS of recs and likes over there at the DUmp! Let's hear from a few of our new friends . . .]

dawg. this is an excellent post. i am a voice along with yours.... thank you.

[Oh, yes, THANK you, DUmmie dawg! Beautifully written!]

you deserve great credit for your compassion and veracity. . . .

[Speaking truth to poor deluded conservatives! How noble of you!]

He's your President, too. . . . I am confident that President Obama will work in the best interests of all Americans. . . .

[And there will be so many more of us now who will be laid off, unemployed, reduced hours, reduced benefits, dropped from employer health-care plans. . . . Why, just THINK of all that President Obama can do for us now!]

Perhaps The Best Post I've Seen on DU. . . .

The best post I've ever read on DU. . . .

[Certainly the most creative.]

AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!

[PRAISE GAIA! PRAISE GAIA! PRAISE GAIA!]

Only one thing to add . . . It is to say this . . . We will no longer tolerate, excuse or let you get away with the disrespect you have shown OUR PRESIDENT AND HIS FAMILY for the past four years! You will be called out . . . Challenged . . . Confronted from this day FORWARD!!!

[Thrown into the Reeducation Center for reprogramming! To HELL with the First Amendment! No, enough of that! The future must not belong to those who slander the President of Prog Land! FORWARD!!!]

WE ARE AMERICA!!!!

[AND YOU'RE NOT!!!!]

Beautifully, gently written. . . .

[It's a kinder, gentler DUmmieland now.]

We liberals are not hostile to religion. . . .

[As long as they keep quiet and don't try to live out their faith.]

The minute you pass a law based on your religious beliefs, chances are you have just trampled on my beliefs--or non-beliefs.

[OK, then. I hereby withdraw my support for laws against murder, robbery, rape, lying in court, etc., since those all coincide with my religious beliefs. And I will withdraw my support for laws against shooting abortion providers, since I don't want to impose my beliefs on others.]

This deserves to go viral.

[Like a Sandra Fluke STD!]

WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Congratulations! See you at the unemployment line!]

it's a great day here, there, and everywhere.

[The sun is shining. Homosexuals are getting married. Rich white people are being punished. Gaia is in her. . . well, Gaia is in everything, I guess. All is right in the New Left World.]

As much as I was (admittedly) tempted to post something to the effect of MOAR TEARS!!! I found myself feeling some genuine sympathy for them. . . .

[Jeepers, freepers, where'd you get those weepers? Jeepers, freepers, why'd you trust those lies?]

conservative lurkers, well, what can I say; it's the way the cookie crumbles. C'est la vie.

[It's the way the economy crumbles. C'est la falaise fiscale.]

I have no sympathy. . . . so f*** them. . . . I have no sympathy and i want no understanding. These cretins, these f***ing traitorous scumbags can all line up to sniff my @ss. I don't want to play nice. . . . F*** THEM. To all lurking conservatives? I hope your f***ing face rots off.

[Ah, the real DUmmieland returns! I thought I was in Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood there for a while. Situation Normal, All F-worded Up! DUmmie Scootaloo, you are truly a DUmmie in whom there is no guile! And so you win today's PLTA® Award! Congratulations!]

 

Helloooo.... freepers, trolls, cave dwelllers? Got anything to say about this?

[Yes. It looks like more of the status quo for a while. Tuesday we kicked the can down the road for a couple years. The House remained the same. The Senate remained the same. The incumbent president, the bloom off his rose, won in a squeaker. A few hundred thousand votes in a few key states, and we'd all be singing a different song. Ho hum. We live to fight another day--2014, to be specific. (I'm looking at YOU, Democrat senators up for re-election!) And so, likewise, Kamp Kumbaya proved to be just a fleeting, ephemeral fancy--a mythical Brigadoon that appears for a day and then is no more. Haters gonna hate. DUmmies gonna be DUmmies. The DUmp abides. And so does the DUmmie FUnnies!]