KOmmies Gleeful Over Rush Limbaugh Hospitalization

For some reason, the KOmmies have earned the reputation of somehow being a "reasonable progressive" website in contrast to their loonier DUmmie cousins. I beg to disagree. The gleeful reaction of the KOmmies to the hospitalization of Rush Limbaugh proves the KOmmies to be every bit as crazed as the KOmmies. Yes, this DUmmie REACTION was pretty much expected but guess what? This KOmmie THREAD, "BREAKING: Rush Limbaugh listed in serious condition at HI hospital" proves the KOmmies to be every bit as SICK as the DUmmies. The weird thing here is that the author of the thread actually warns his fellow KOmmies not to publicly rejoice about Rush's hospitalization but they just couldn't help themselves. So let us now watch the KOmmies jubilantly post poison pen messages in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that the KOmmies are sure to be disappointed by the news that Rush is now listed in stable condition, is in the [brackets]:

BREAKING: Rush Limbaugh listed in serious condition at HI hospital

[Don't break out your champagne bottles just yet, KOmmies. His condition has been upgraded to stable.]

I know it's tempting for folks to wish this man ill right now. God only knows he's earned the Karma. But before you do, I want you to remember this.

[We must preserve our image of fake reasonableness.]

HE WANTS YOU TO.

He welcomes it because:

a) The controversy feeds into is ego and validates everything he stands for - division, hate and negativity.

b) He and his ilk are looking forward to holding this over our heads for many, many years to come.

So kids, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

[Sorry KOmmie msblucow but your warning had no effect. Your fellow KOmmies just couldn't restrain themselves as we shall see below...]

Rush Limbaugh likely isnt any different Then the multitude of psychopaths(Look up exactly what that is if you don't know) that inhabit our world. He has simply found a legal way to spread his destruction(Radio). Your attempt to assign some sort of humanity to him(that he clearly has never exhibited) is exactly why his kind operates so well in our world.

[Don't hold back. Let the venom FLOW!!!]

He does NOT have a f*cking right to make up shit and present it as fact to incite his millions of so-called ditto heads to hatred and violence.

[Let me guess. You are a supporter of the "fairness" doctrine.]

I do not believe in an afterlife, but from what I've been told by those who do, I doubt Rush will face a pleasant eternity.

[KOmmie theology in action.]

Limbaugh is simply a corporate mouthpiece -- he is paid to use lies and deceit in order to fool lower class white into voting for the corporate class against heir own interests. He is nothing more than a paid corporate advertisement.

[Radio analysis from the Bolshevik perspective.]

i hope that this piece of human excrement that has lied and lied his way to a fortune is silenced for a long time...eternity
im thinking...

[So much for heeding the PR advice of the original KOmmie poster.]

Why isn't this POS in jail? He needs to be sharing a cell with a large angry black homosexual. And those are the "nice" thoughts I have for him.

[Is Ben Burch now posting in KOmmieland?]

OK, fess up. Who here prayed for this to happen?

[Any KOmmie who wanted to establish his KOmmieland credentials.]

I just read in the Honolulu Advertiser that Limburger was "reported to be alert and conscious"

[Disappointed?]

F*ck that psychopathic hate peddler. When he dies he takes one of the biggest forces for pain and suffering with him.

[Feel the love!]

It is nature's way of telling assholes like Limbaugh that beers are being thrown back in celebration of that heart attack.

[Freudenschade, baby! I hate to ruin your celebration but Rush is now reported to be in stable condition.]

If he gets well, so be it. If he gets worse, be it paralyzed, comatose, or dead, he's earned it.

[A KOmmie version of a Don't Get Well card.]

Rush is a multi-gazillionaire with access to unlimited health care, and will almost certainly be just fine. You don't want him reading a list of "I hope the f^cker dies" comments on the air next week, "proving" that DailyKos is a "hate site" again.

[We just need to sit back and allow you to prove it. Hee! Hee!]

So excuse me if I don't wish him well, but rather wish him a hearty, "F*ck you Rush, karma is gripping your black heart , and if it has accumulated enough against you for your death, well, too bad, douchebag."

[May we cite you as a "reasonable progressive?"]

Stay classy Kossacks...

[An impossible task.]

F*ck him. He's a bad man. I hope he dies and I'm glad he's sick. All this fat asshole has done is encourage a whole generation of Americans to be right-wing, bigoted scumbags like him. He's divided our nation and has been nothing but a bad influence.

[A sicko homage to Rush's influence. And this KOmmie is going to be even more sick when Rush is BACK on the air.]

I'll never apologize for hating Rush. Or wishing death and illness on him. This misogynist, racist, union-bashing, nativist asshole should not be given a free pass by misguided notions that we're somehow better off empathizing for him.

[A KOmmie drowning in his own bile. And there is a LOT more of it on this KOmmie thread but I've had my fill of it for today. Meanwhile, get well soon Rush. We look forward to listening to you on the airwaves!]

Pitt puts the year into perspective--well, sorta . . .

Pied Piper Pitt periodically feels a need to pontificate, and Christmas/New Year's is just such an occasion. Pitt bids farewell to this YEAR by bidding farewell to this awful DECADE, in order to a) bash Bush and b) distract attention from Obambi and this Year of Living Changerously. And through it all, Wee Willie manages to say . . . almost nothing. But it does allow him to pontificate from on high . . . atop his barstool at Bukowski's. And it does allow US to have some FUn with the DUmmies, which is our "mission statement" here at DUmmie FUnnies.

And it gives me, the wag tailoring the doggerel, an excuse to post this little parody I wrote this afternoon. It's a "Year in Review" composition, a Tribute to Team Obama. Click the link and sing along!

IMMORAL, INCOMPETENT, NOT VERY WISE
Tune: "Immortal, Invisible, God Only Wise"

Immoral, incompetent,
Not very wise;
This year of Obama meant
Murphy applies.
The change they believed in
Since Bo was a pup
Got shortchanged and even
Got all wee-wee'd up.

The bailouts, the skeptic
Said, won't stimulate;
The failure was epic--
A ten is worth eight.
The shovel is ready
To dig a new hole;
The trend line is steady--
It's Dear Leader's poll.

Insurance guy smirking,
But you might be jailed;
The system is working,
The underwear failed.
Incompetence conquers,
It's running amok;
But don't tell the Congress--
On stupid they're stuck.

On Holder, on Nappy,
On Crusty and Joe!
Is anyone happy
With Barry's Team O?
Let's all call a summit
And cry in our beer;
The worst thing about it--
It's just the first year!

And now we go to the Pittster and his fellow year-enders. Pitt's Christmas night THREAD is called, in typical Pittian wit, brevity, and profundity, simply "Hey." So let's pull up a chair at Bukowski's and join the cheery conversation, in Rambling Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--who sees only a few new movies each year, but did enjoy the entertaining and uplifting "The Blind Side" last night--is in the [brackets]:

Hey.

[Jude.]

So.

[What?]

It's Christmas night. . . .

[Careful. "Winter Solstice."]

and there's one week to go before 2009 and the rest of this festering, pestiferous bloodbath of a decade gets relegated to the dustbin of history.

[Notice how quickly Party Hack Pitt moves from this YEAR--Obambi's festering, pestiferous Year of Living Changerously--and gets right to this DECADE, which is festering and pestiferous because of BUSH AND THE RETHUGLICANS, of course.]

Some things are definitely better. Some things are definitely worse. And a whole lot of sh*t is exactly the same.

[And a whole lot of Pitt says exactly NOTHING.]

So it goes.

[On he goes.]

DemocraticUnderground is also better, and worse, and the same.

[Don't lock yourself in there, Pitt.]

The most important thing, however, is that DU is still here.

[A third have been tombstoned, and a third are LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS, but DUmmieland still stands! Huzzah!]

So am I.

[Pitt lives! Huzzah!]

So are you.

[I love you, you love me, we're a happy family. . . .]

Thank you, thank you, thank you DU and the DUers who make this place what it is.

[Miami Beach audiences are the greatest in the world! Goodnight, everybody!]

You're all crazy, sane, right, wrong, and all the way wonderful.

[I'd stick with just the "crazy" and "wrong."]

We have come a long way, and have so very far to go.

[Can somebody give me a ride home? I'm not in shape to drive.]

I'm ready to keep up the fight if you are.

[Every ss-step . . . stranding up stai--ght . . . a stru--uggle. . . .]

Cheers.

[Bukowski's! Now let's hear from the other year-enders . . .]

cheers, will. all the best to you and yours.

[Will is a married man now, you know--to a woman, in fact--so, yes, he does have an "and yours"! Congratulations again, Will, on your altared state!]

K&R. Cheers!

[Kahlua & Rum! Cheers!]

I'm going to keep up the fight, because if you stop trying to make the world a better place, then what do you have?

[Detroit?]

Actually the decade ends next year.

[Oh, Mr. Smarty-Pants checks in. I bet you're fun at parties. "Actually, hors d'œuvre is both the singular AND the plural. You don't need an 's' on the end."]

This hasn't been a good decade. . . .

[Let's avoid talking about this YEAR.]

This thread is kind of cool, but it also sucks a little. . . .

[I sense someone mocking Pitt's non-committal approach. Hee! Hee!]

I'm at the in-laws. Do know if GD during the primaries or being here is worse!

[Tied for first.]

And we are the better for having you here with us. Thanks Will.

[Oh, thank you, Will! Thank you thank you thank you! Thank you for being YOU, Will Pitt, and for condescending to converse--well, you don't actually do that, do you?--for condescending to . . . bestow your wisdom upon us. Yes! We are ever so grateful!]

america is same

[Tonto is pissed.]

the more things change, the more they stay the same

[Penalty. Two minutes for Boring.]

::

[OK, that's different. Is this like semaphore flags or something?]

My dear Will...I'm so glad we have your sensible articulate voice to help us when we feel lost...Cheers, sweetie!

[Forget about it, CaliforniaPeggy! Will is a married man now! I know he's the Tiger Woods of DUmmieland and all, but you're going to have to aim your feminine wiles at another target! . . . No, wait. My bad. That was benburch posting.]

Lovely post

[Quiet, ben!]

Merry Christmas to all , and to all a good fight.

[Peace on earth and power to the people!]

fer shur

[gnarly dude]

Never give up!

[On second thought, give up. Just. Give up.]

Things are going to get better.

[The sun'll come out . . . tomorrow. . . .]

I feel it in my bones and my bones are old and if there are good feelings in these old bones it is always a good sign.

[What are you, a Hopi elder or something?]

throwing in the towel is not an option.

[Throwing up ON the towel is always an option for Pitt.]

Well freakin' put!

[Will freakin' Pitt!]

Fasten your seat belt....2010 promises some jaw-dropping events.

[You win the Mixed Metaphor of the Day™ Award. It's the gold standard in the vast ocean of major awards.]

Have a Happy!

[Have a Hopi!]

You, Sir, are definitely one of the best things about DU. Thank you for your contributions to this forum.

[We are not WORTHY! (Pitt lives for this.)]

How does one argue with such a thread.

[Don't worry, you guys'll find a way.]

DAMN SRAIGHT, WILLIAM

[OK, we're cutting you off right here, sir. Do you want me to call a cab for you?]

NOT GIVING UP ON FIGHTING; no INDEED

[Careful, sir, you're falling off your stool.]

I'm happy to be with the DU gang

[We ride at dawn!]

I'd rather hang out with the DU group than A LOT of my real family!

[For which your family is grateful.]

I got a case of duct tape for Xmas and I'm using it.

[Kinky, ben!]

Ahoy there!
There are good ships,
and there are wood ships,
The ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships, are friendships,
And may they always be.

[Burma-Shave.]

If I ever get within 50 miles from you, the drinks are on me.

[Pitt says, "Hey, I can be sitting all by myself, and I still get the drinks on me!"]

Technically speaking We have 1 year and a week before the decade is over.

[Did you know biscotti is plural? You should really order one biscotto.]

love ya, Will

[Signed, Will]

God bless us, every one

[May the Higher Power of whatever faith tradition or spirituality one may embrace help us to actualize our full potential and self-realization, if that is consonant with your belief system.]

"I cannot stay in my seat the final hour before a flight lands!"

Homeland Jan sez: "The system worked!"

So in the wake of the terrorists running amok again, there's talk of new rules requiring passengers to stay seated during the last hour of the flight. This could cause some problems, though, for passengers with . . . let's say, a certain pressing need to get up and go. Things are all wee-wee'd up! The ineptitude of Team Incompetent is affecting the incontinent! And the DUmmies are not pleased, as we see in this THREAD, "I cannot stay in my seat the final hour before a flight lands!"

So fasten your seat belt, stow your tray, and put your seat in an upright position, as we encounter some DUmmie turbulence, in Threat Level Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wondering if he will have to lay off the ginger ale the next time he flies, is in the [brackets]:

I cannot stay in my seat the final hour before a flight lands!

[Yes we can!]

There is no way I can hold my bladder that long. . . .

[Hope and change!]

So what do they expect with this silly rule. Pee my pants?

[Listen, Hillary, Ol' Crusty has been through a lot. I'm sure she can handle that.]

I'll bet it enough people really did pee in their pants this rule would end damn quick. Perhaps an organized "Pee In" is in order here.

[Call the NAAPP.]

I am seriously thinking I need a note from my doctor.

[Six months, minimum, under Obamacare.]

I would also have a problem with the last hour and not being able to pee. Sometimes I have to go every 15 minutes. And being nervous doesn't help. Not to mention having IBS.

[Irritable Bolshevik Syndrome.]

I think maybe something more than a "pee in" is needed here. There should also be a "sh*t in." A whole planeload of people sitting in their own sh*ts smelling the place up.

[DUAC! DUAC!]

All of the things this guy did could have been accomplished mid flight. Just because it happened shortly before landing isn't justification for changing onboard bathroom procedures.

[OK, no bathroom breaks AT ALL, the whole flight!]

Of course it does not stop the neo nazi thugs jumping on the bandwagon of racial profile all Muslims.

[Yeah, just a coincidence that 100% of these terrorist airplane guys are Muslims, I guess. We really need to be concerned about the radical Lutherans and their exploding lutefisk.]

Visualize swirled pees!

[You win the Nobel Piss Prize!]

I think this new rule is just for international flights . . .

[On Incontinental Airlines.]

I hope people on planes all sh*t their pants in unison. one two three CRAP. that might change things.

[Crap and Trade . . . Underwear.]

This has nothing to do with President Obama.

[Piss be upon him.]

we're dealing with a bureaucracy that thinks it has to do something after every incident, whether what they do makes any sense or not. The reality is that this man should never have been allowed to board a plane bound for the USA. . . . Barn door closing regulations that don't address that are the feeble hand-waving of some Peter Principled bureaucrat who can't think of anything else to do.

[We'd send you a Kewpie Doll, but new regulations prohibit the shipment of Kewpie-like materials.]

I do believe that Obama has a responsibility to start leaning on DHS to stop oppressing civilians who are just trying to get to Grandma's for the holidays.

[Throw Grandma under the bus and you don't have to worry about it.]

Frankly, President Obama has had a lot on his plate in 2009.

[Don't expect him to have time for national security.]

What's next? Will they make everyone fly naked?

[Be thankful the DUmmies don't fly much.]

As for us.give us the liberty to pee or we chose not to fly.

[DON'T TREAD ON PEE!]

I just hope they use warm KY Jelly on their latex gloves for those body cavity probes. . . .

[Calm down, benburch, calm down!]

what if people go through those body scanners and they've got a bit of constipation and the screen shows something strange in the lower abdominal area (an impacted stool). . . . Forced enemas?

[With wands like these, who needs enemas?]

If enough people leave behind a "puddle", the policy will change back very quickly. Think of it as a form of protest.

[All we are saying . . . is give pee a chance!]

Diapers. . . .

[benburch is in heaven!]

ever hear of depends undergarments...?

[Change we can relieve in.]

wear crappy, comfortable clothes and piss in their seat.

[OK, the DUmmies already DO this. So what NEW do you suggest?]

Whip it out and let it fly in the aisle.

[The system that works!]

- - - - -

BONUS PARODY:

RELIEVING ON A JET PLANE
Tune: "Leaving on a Jet Plane" MIDI

All my bladder's full, I'm ready to go
The stewardess is sayin' no
I hate to wait an hour to drain it dry
But the sign is flashin', we have to sit
The time is over for takin' a sh*t
Already I'm so pissed that I could try

So piss in the aisle with me
Tell me that you'll wait to pee
Hold it till you really have to go
Relievin' on a jet plane
I don't know when we can use the can
Oy vey, I have to go

There's so many times I've held it in
So many times I've forced a grin
While squirmin' in my seat until we land
Every flight I've had, we're overdue
Every rule they add, I sit and stew
The time has come for us to take a stand

So piss in the aisle with me
Tell me that you'll wait to pee
Hold it till you really have to go
Relievin' on a jet plane
I don't know when we can use the can
Oy vey, I have to go

Now the time has come for action
Before I suffer stool impaction
Their silly rules I must now defy
So when your bowels are feelin' weak
When you would like to take a leak
Just drop your drawers, it's time to let it fly

Piss in the aisle with me
Tell me that you'll wait to pee
Hold it till you really have to go
Relievin' on a jet plane
I don't know when we can use the can
Relievin' on a jet plane
I don't know when we can use the can
Relievin' on a jet plane
I don't know when we can use the can
Oy vey, I have to go

DUmmie Idiocy On Display Over Nigerian Plane Terrorist

Since the wife of your humble correspondent took off early this morning (I'm just back from the airport) on a flight to Venezuela for her yearly visit to her family, I am somewhat less than amused over the DUmmie idiocy over that Nigerian terrorist who attempted to blow up a plane on a flight to Detroit. I could describe the astounding idiocy displayed by the DUmmies in this intro but I prefer to just allow those morons to reveal themselves in their own words which you can see on this THREAD, "AP sources: Al-Qaida link in failed plane attack." So let us now watch the DUmmies make complete fools of themselves in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, chronicling a new low for the DUmmies, is in the [brackets]:

AP sources: Al-Qaida link in failed plane attack

[Stand by for DUmmie idiocy.]

WASHINGTON – A Northwest Airlines passenger from Nigeria, who said he was acting on al-Qaida's instructions, tried to blow up the plane Friday as it was landing in Detroit, law enforcement and national security officials said.

Passengers subdued the man and may have prevented him from detonating the explosives, the officials said.

[Did they Mirandize the terrorist for his Eric Holder provided trial in which he gets his choice of lawyers?]

"We believe this was an attempted act of terrorism," a White House official said. Federal officials imposed stricter screening measures after the incident.

[They didn't have absolutely strict screening before? What did they think? That we could let our guard down because the world now wuvs us do to the Bamster global outreach? Now on to the depths of DUmmie idiocy...]

Every DAY our combat troops remain in the ME, Americans are less safe both at home and abroad.

[American troops could withdraw from every country in the world and the terrorists would STILL be attempting attacks like this. Now for a display of idiocy so enormous that it will take your breath away...]

Nigerians celebrate Christmas with setting off fire-crackers. The questions are, is this particular Nigerian visiting the United States for the very first time? Was he engaging in his country's practice of celebrating Christmas with fire-cracker? Did he choose the very worse place to engage in his celebrations?

[Yeah, a Nigerian MUSLIM who celebrates Christmas by setting off firecrackers aboard a plane. Something only a DUmmie could conceive as an explanation.]

how did you know this suspect is not a christian?

[Just a wild guess here but I somehow don't think so. Just not that many suicide Presbyterians nor LCMS around.]

In Nigeria, folks regardless of their faith celebrate Christmas collectively by setting off fire-crackers like we do on July 4th. You do not have to be a Christian to engage in this practice.

[But you do have to be a DUmmie to set off fire-crackers aboard a plane.]

And like I said, this idiot should be charged with terrorism for his action but let's not build an elaborate story around it. I am just saying...

[I am just saying that you are as big an idiot as the terrorist.]

HC bill passes, Al Q pops up with....firecrackers? Interesting timing.

[A health care conspiracy theory pops up from the idiot box.]

If only we could "subdue" our Military Industrial Complex, the WORLD would be A LESS dangerous place.

[A DUmmie displays his empty mind with a comparison between a terrorist and the "Military Industrial Complex." And we know which one he hates most.]

I think the initial firecracker reports were the truth and then someone in the administration saw it as an opportunity to turn it into terra, say al qaeda, and promote fear... again :sigh: Bu$h may be gone but the new boss is the same as the old and they need evidence of why we need to kill innocents in Afghanistan until the oil pipeline is finished.

[DUmmie believes this is all a cynical overreaction to a simple firecracker Christmas celebration aboard a flight by an Al Qaeda Muslim from Nigeria.]

I'll Bet $10 This Was Not al Qaeda. Any Takers? But it will be evidence that "we need to fight 'em over there so we don't hav'ta fight 'em here in the homeland". Things are so predictable these days.

[DUmmie idiocy is so predictable these days.]

Was An Early Supporter, Gave Him Money. But he turned out to be a classical Republican instead of a Democrat. I f*cked up.

[That latter condition happened to you minutes after birth.]

let me know when it's time to duct tape my house in the meantime, Im taking a nap.

[Yes, best to keep your tiny mind in permanent sleep mode.]

I have faced more significant threats when I was riding on my school bus in 8th grade.

[And this DUmmie tosses his tiny brain under his 8th grade school bus.]

I find it interesting that everytime something like this happens, it's some bozo who can't even do it right. Ever notice? Makes me wonder if it's just another attempt to make us afraid.

[Makes me wonder if your post is just another attempt to make yourself look STUPID.]

Obama: Public Option? I Never Promised Public Option

Public option? Never heard of it. Plus I never promised it. It reminds me of the Joey Bishop routine in "A Guide For the Married Man" when he denied to his wife that the woman she caught him in bed with didn't exist. "Woman? What woman? I see no woman."

That is the attitude that has the DUmmies so enraged at Barack Obama as you can see in this THREAD, "I resent being told the Public Option was just a figment of my imagination." Gee, so you were scammed once again. And did you know that you are just $10 away from having public option? So let us now watch the DUmmies vent over Obama making fools of them in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching Lucy pull the football away from the DUmmie Charlie Brown yet again, is in the [barackets]:

I resent being told the Public Option was just a figment of my imagination

[Public option has been tossed down the Memory Hole.]

I'm tired of being told that the Public Option was just something that I pulled out of my ass and that no one running for office told me was what they wanted for the country as well. God dam, if they changed their minds they should just say so, but don't tell me I'm full of shit for thinking I was told my party or those I voted for, were once for it too.

[And that is the hand of Ben Burch pulling Public Option out of you. Now to the other highly gullible DUmmies...]

And don't pee on my head and say it's raining

[Okay. It's sprinkling. Feel better?]

What Public Option? Never heard of it, and if I did, Obama didn't say it... And even if he DID, it wasn't really part of the REAL "campaign",
AND I DEFY your attempts to make me admit it with your phony screen caps, direct quotes, and video!

[Remember what I said? Well, I didn't say it.]

The LEAST they could do is stop hounding us for money all the time.

[The DNC is just $10 away from giving you Public Option.]

Well, at least according to this administration, the last year was just one long episode of the Twilight Zone and there never was a public option. It was just a snipe hunt, a distraction for us gullible lefties to chase while the real "reforming" was going on in a smoke filled room.

[Ben Nelson has your back.]

I freakin' HATE liars.

[Perhaps Obama merely misspoke.]

Yeah. All those videos and transcripts were made by space aliens.

[Or the Hopi wise men.]

We can all celebrate as our criminal government has given our money to criminally ruinous health insurance pigs who profit from denying us coverage and condemning us to death.

[Don't forget to send a thank you note to Harry Reid.]

Pelosi also stipulated Public Option . . . in the last month/6 weeks ... bait & switch????

[No. Switch & bait.]

- - - - -

BONUS PARODY
By Charles Henrickson, the wag tailoring the doggerel

JUST MY IMAGINATION (THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY TO ME)
Tune: "Just My Imagination (Runnin' Away with Me)"

Each day on my TV
I watch them as they're passin' bills
I say to myself
You'll soon have cost-free pills
To have all Democrats
Is truly a dream come true
Out of all the options in the world
Free is overdue

But it was just my imagination
That's what they say to me
It was just my imagination
That's what they say to me

Soon we'll be covered
And cared for publicly
A robust public option, all on the country
With two doctors, both for free
They tell me I
Just fantasized it all
I could just pull a Dean
For it really makes me scream

But it was just my imagination
Such a plan--that's what they say to me
Tell you, it was just my imagination
That's what they say to me

Every night all the meds I take
I gotta belly-ache
Don't ever let Obama kiss it all goodbye
Or we will surely die
It's so un-evenly
When insurance costs me
I need a fairer guarantee
But in reality
The Democrats have screwed me

Just my imagination
Such a plan--that's what they say to me
Tell you, it was just my imagination
That's what they say to me

I never get it
And now I regret it

Just my imagination
That's what they say to me
Just my imagination
That's what they say to me

"Do you celebrate Christmas?"

Yesterday was the Winter Solstice, and the neo-pagans in DUmmieland have been celebrating THAT more than they will celebrate Christmas--certainly more than the REAL Christmas, which has to do with the birth of Christ. There have been numerous "Happy Solstice!" threads, but the one Christmas thread that's getting responses should have a Missing Baby Alert posted on it. It's this THREAD, "Do you celebrate Christmas?"

So let us don our gay apparel and venture into the White Witch's DUmmieland, where it is always winter and never Christmas. The DUmmie cheer is in Non-Religious Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, looking forward to the Christ Mass AND the presents under the tree (hopefully including some single-malt scotch and a deluxe Scrabble set), is in the [brackets]:

Poll question: Do you celebrate Christmas?

[Oh, come, all ye faithless. . . .]

I only do the fun stuff. I don’t celebrate as a religious holiday. (105 votes, 45%)

I don’t do anything during this time of year. (29 votes, 13%)

Other (15 votes, 6%)

I’m not Christian, so I celebrate a different holiday. (12 votes, 5%)

I’m a warrior against Christmas. (6 votes, 3%)

[OK, that makes over 70% of the DUmmies who do NOT celebrate Christmas as a religious holiday.]

I celebrate it as a Christian holiday, but I do the fun stuff too. (64 votes, 28%)

I celebrate as a Christian holiday and I don't do the fun stuff. (1 vote, 0%)

[Hey, even *I* wouldn't check that last one! I like "the FUn stuff," as long as it's secondary.]

christmas is for suckers.

[There's a sucker born every Christmas!]

Then I am one Happy Sucker

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL-THE-ANCIENT-YULETIDE-CAROL!!!]

Oh yeah. And candy canes and cup cakes and all kinds of other sweets, too!

[Stuff THAT in your stocking and suck it!]

I'm a big fan every Christmas I buy myself a new set of golf clubs.

[Is that you, Elin Nordegren Woods?]

Christmas is the Great Capitalist Holiday celebrating conspicuous consumption and dedicated to consumerism.

[Jolly old St. Cynical. . . .]

Sure, it was once based on The Roman Holiday of Saturnalia . . . in order to entice Romans who just wanted to have orgies for a week. . . .

[This DUmmie wants to put the "satyr" back into "Saturnalia."]

I drink Mogen David, dance in a stone circle, make the sign of the cross, bow to Mecca and sing Hare Krishna whilst lighting incense to my ancestors.

[Once on Mogen David sipping
Danced a DUmmie syncretist
He said "No religion skipping!"
Checked them off from on his list . . .]

I drink lots of winter seasonal beer. Does that count?

[O liquid brown of Budweiser
Though swill we drink thee dry
Above thy can a black and tan
The kind the bars supply
And then a dark stout Shiner
Or maybe amber light
The hops and cheers of all the beers
Are met in thee tonight. . . .]

It's Sir Isaac Newton's birthday. I celebrate that.

[I'll go with the Newborn's birthday.]

We open gifts and have a big family dinner. But there is no religious aspect to it.

[Nope! Must not think about WHY the gifts and the dinners came about!]

Movies, Chinese food. Sure I celebrate Christmas.

[Soy to the world, the food has come!]

I celebrate the Winter Solstice, but acknowledge Christmas appropriately for those to whom it is important, including most of my family and many of my friends.

[Polite pagan patronizes poor pitiful pious.]

Happy Solstice, everyone -- let the Sun shine in!

[Merry Christmas, everyone -- let the Son shine in!]

May you have a happy Festival of Lights. That's what I like to call Christmas.

[Christmas Lite.]

Any excuse for a sappy party.

[Emphasis on "sappy."]

I do it all. I tour the Christmas displays and lights, I hang out in the crowds, I hit the toy stores, I buy myself fancy electronic gifts (just got my new GPS yesterday) and go into debt. I dance around bonfires to a drum circle and drink mead with the pagans, I break my fast on Eid like a Muslim (without actually fasting beforehand, of course) , and if I understood Hannakuh or Kwanza I'd do them too. When the game is over I want to leave as little on the playing field as I can. Merry F***ing Whatever, Baby!

[Merry F***ing Whatever! Just no Baby.]

I celebrate Yule/Christmas/Mithras Day/Winter Solstice as a secular holiday. I display a tree and wreath. No religious symbols.

[Why bother?]

I celebrate Yule.

[And Yule celebrate me.]

I'm a Jolly Agnostic, and I Love Christmas. I don't give a sh*t about Jeebus' birthday. I love presents in shiny paper. . . . If people want to drag religion into it, that's their business.

[Imagine, dragging Christ into Christmas! Weird!]

I enjoy Christmas as a non-religious holiday.

[I enjoy restaurants as a non-eating experience.]

I advocate for celebrating Christmas on only leap years. . . . I think it would be more special and less work every 4 years.

[Christmas as Winter Olympics.]

I celebrate it as a secular winter solstice festival.

[Silent night . . . just . . . silent night. . . .]

Giftmas -- we do the tree and presents thing, but there's nothing religious about it. We're all atheists, aka without religion. . . .

[What child is this? Who cares?]

I HATE all the shopping for gifts for family and friends until I start doing it, then I GO HOG WILD. . . . Makes me appreciate the holiday even though I am a pagan.

[Pagans Gone Hog Wild!]

I'm a Unitarian. . . . the UU's. . . .

[Where a Savior is completely UUseless.]

I celebrate it the way people did before the church took it over.

[Which was back on the Twelfth of Never.]

We're Freethinkers

[Our minds are open and our brains fell out.]

I'm a flaming atheist. . . .

[Perhaps a poor choice of words.]

I spend Christmas talking to relatives who drive me nuts & eating food that will make me gain 10 lbs. . . .

[Hey, even us Christians do that! Merry Christmas!]

KOmmies Now Hate ObamaCare

You can now add the KOmmies to the ranks of those who HATE the Harry Reid version of ObamaCare. For some reason, the Democrats seem intent on committing electoral suicide in order to ensure that some bill, ANY bill, passes the Senate by Christmas. You can see the KOmmie angst over ObamaCare (ReidCare) in this THREAD, "Voters Revolt: Only 33% Support for New Senate Health Care Bill." The KOmmies object to ReidCare because it doesn't include their beloved option. Rational people oppose it because it does way more harm than good. In fact, Robert Byrd may be the first victim of ReidCare because they just wheeled him into the Senate in the middle of a cold snowstorm so he could vote on a Senate procedural vote that would have stalled the ReidCare vote. He sure didn't look healthy and ReidCare just might claim him as a victim. Another victim of ReidCare is Harry Reid's own political career. All he is doing is making himself even more unpopular that he already is in Nevada where they are more likely to terminate his career in 2010. So let us now watch the KOmmies wail about Reidcare in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, holding a suicide watch for Democrats, is in the [barackets]:

Voters Revolt: Only 33% Support for New Senate Health Care Bill

[And 100% of Harry Reid is intent on committing political suicide.]

A new Research 2000 poll from the Progressive Change Campaign Committee and Democracy for America shows that voters support a health care bill with a public option by an overwhelming majority, 59% to 31%--but when it comes to the newest Senate health care bill, with mandates and no public option, those numbers are nearly reversed. By caving to Joe Lieberman, Democrats are about to push for a bill with only 33% support.

[Progressive Change in the title of that outfit shows the poll is questionable as far as support for public option. Now on to the other KOmmies...]

let the repubs sink it, and let them own the sinking of heath care reform. then bring it up again in three months, and if they dont cooperate, let them sink it again. then bring it up every 3 months till there arent any republicans left in congress.

[An analysis worthy of one Pied Piper Pitt.]

Democrats should know better than to hang this stinking Albotross around our necks as we go into the 2010 election.

[Thank you, Harry Reid.]

Imagine when people are forced to pay for this junk insurance.

[It would make the current Tea Parties seem like small affairs.]

The peasants are revolting!

[The KOmmies stink on ice!]

This bill is getting shittier by the second, and even the general public knows this.

[ObamaCare started out crappy.]

This is 94 redux--the bill has become so f*cked up with politics, that any good it would have done has already been removed from it.

[Politics? GASP! You mean politicians were bought off to support this bill?]

If the Dems force this bill down people's throats, they will do much worse at the polls.

[With Harry Reid as a victim.]

There's nothing politically to be gained by passing this current bill. NOTHING. When you do something that 2/3 of the country is telling you not to do, they respond by voting against you. That's how things work.

[Get your popcorn ready for Election Night 2010.]

From where I'm sitting, it looks as if the GOP is going to win. Losing the 2008 election will mean jack in the long run (in the short run it's a definite win for the Democrats and the American people as McCain/Palin would be a lot worse) if they are able to let the Democrats commit political suicide with this bill and then regain both houses in 2010 and the WH in 2012. In their world, they win, their large corporate buddies win, the Americans will hate the Democrats for forcing them to buy insurance, Labor will be apathetic at best to Democrats for a few years.....

[Yeah, being FORCED to buy insurance will make the voters just love the Democrats...NOT!]

This constant support of Lieberman so he can do the dirty deeds our leadership wants done but doesn't have the balls to do themselves is sickening. Obama should apologize to Dean.

[YEEEEEEEAAAAGGGHHHH!!!]

Sometimes I think Republicans are correct when they say life is cheap to many people on the Left.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

DUmmies ready to join Olbermann in going to jail!

Gandhi . . . King . . . Mandela . . . Solzhenitsyn . . . Olbermann . . . OLBERMANN?? Wha-aa?? Yes, Keith Olbermann, the Wussiest Person in the World, is ready to join the ranks of heroic dissidents of the past in going to JAIL for his beliefs! I can just see his future memoirs: "The Long Island Archipelago." "Letters from a Bridgehampton Jail." KO's life and career will become the stuff of legend. Movies will be made: "Inflictus." "The Golf Shank Reduction." Ben Affleck will find work again. Songs will be written: "We shall Olbermann someday." "Let there be Keith on earth."

What has brought on Olbermann's impassioned imprisonment KOurage? Last night on his wildly popular "KOuntdown" program, with an audience literally in the tens of hundreds, KO KO'd BO over the proposed Mutual of Obama mandatory health insurance bill. In his "Special KOmment," Keith railed and ranted to new heights of belligerent bloviation, closing with this pugnacious pledge:

I hereby pledge that I will not buy this perversion of health care reform. Pass this at your peril, Senators, and sign it at yours, Mr. President. I will not buy this insurance. Brand me a lawbreaker if you choose. Fine me if you will. Jail me if you must.

Is KO bucking for a Kewpie Doll here, having a brief moment of mental clarity? Not exactly. He opposes the bill for different reasons than we do. He thinks it's not KOmmunist enough!

"Pass this at your peril." "Jail me if you must." Them's fightin' words, and so if Keith Olbermann is going to jail, the DUmmies are ready to join him! A host of KO-KOnspirators are shouting "I am Olbermann!" "If they come for Keith, they come for me!"

So Keithie is the Darling of the Day in DUmmieland. You can read about it in a bunch of threads, like this THREAD, "Olbermann's Special Comment was AMAZING!" and this THREAD, "I stand with Keith O. I will not...actually cannot afford to..." and this THREAD, "Keith Olbermann says he'll go to jail before being forced to buy health insurance and" and this THREAD, "I'm going to jail, who's with me?".

The DUmmie KOmments are in Bolshevik Red, while the KOmmentary of your humble guest KOrrespondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets]:

Olbermann's Special Comment was AMAZING!

[Olbermann's Special KOmment was AMUSING!]

He not only hit it out of the ball park but the east coast to west coast.

[He parked it! From KOast to KOast!]

I love that he says he will refuse to be forced to buy into this bondage and protection money for health care. He said he will go to jail first.

[ATTICA!]

Olbermann's job is to get TV ratings. . . . Don't take Olbermann's rants too seriously.

["Rantings for Ratings." It's not working.]

You are tombstoned, troll, so STFU

[You are THE WORST LOUSY FREEPER TROLL IN THE WORLD!]

Keith is wrong on this. He's wrong on Obama. He's on the wrong side for healthcare reform, which can be amended as opposed to killed to be buried. He can go off in his life of privilege and wink at those who can't get any coverage and think he's a folksy Murrowesque hero. He won't see them spit blood as he walks by to get into his limo.

[But it's a limo to Leavenworth!]

KO takes the subway, for one thing.

[The Underground Railroad! Dissidents on the run!]

he is obviously making many people very nervous speaking truth to power.

["Speaking truth to power"! Take a drink, if you're playing at home!]

Thank you Keith, it was hard to listen to, but you're a better man than oh so many others in Congress!!!

[Keith Übermann.]

I stand with Keith O.

[I am Olbermann!]

Jail ain't nothing to me. Hell, I'll get some health care there.

[Is that you, Otis Campbell?]

KO will go to jail? Now that's funny.

[It could be a sit-KOm, "Olbie's Heroes," with Chris Dodd as Sgt. Schultz, Harry Reid as Col. Klink, and the aforementioned Ben Affleck, of course, as Olbie.]

Sure he won't go to jail for that. He could go to jail in the future for inciting rebellion or whatever fascist overlords accuse people who dissent from them in thought.

["Fascist overlords"! Drink up! The irony, of course, is that it's the DEMOCRATS that would be the fascist overlords!]

"keith olbermann" is a f***ing corporation. you do get that right? right?

[KOco.]

the stupidity here is overwhelming sometimes. . . .

[KOOkoo.]

I'm going to jail, who's with me?

[Field trip!]

I will happily go to jail. There I will get a roof over my head, three meals a day, something constructive to do and I'll get free health care. All provided by the state. Do the math, it's not a bad deal.

[Like Mom's basement, only better!]

I'll try to stay out of prison myself, thanks.

[Is that you, Blago?]

Hope you can believe in...Maybe you can be on his Change Gang too.

["Change Gang." I sense a parody coming on. Maybe later this week.]

I can't go to jail because they'll put my animals down.

["Putdown," hosted by DUmmie EFerrari.]

I'll just have to go on the lam.

[The horse would be faster.]

We'll start an outlaw commune. All we need is an old school bus.

[The Olbermannson Family.]

Can we grow food there and cultivate some livestock?

[benburch is especially interested in cultivating the livestock.]

Extra cows and goats for making cheese for sale. Sell excess garden harvest. Lots creative and talented people here with skills to manufacture goods and provide services.

[There would be no shocking memories, and the prevailing emotion will be one of nostalgia for those left behind, combined with a spirit of bold curiosity for the adventure ahead!]

We can start a website, Uninsured Underground

["The UUmies"? "Double U"? No, that one wouldn't work, fer sure. . . .]

The ultimate unfunded mandate. Unfunded, coercive, creating a new criminal class. Hope and change!

[Hope and chains! You win today's Kewpie Doll!]

I'm too pretty to go to jail

[Don't worry, ben, it'll be FUn!]

- - - - -

BONUS PARODY:



CHANGE GANG
Tune: "Chain Gang" Original MIDI

(DU! AC!)
(DU! AC!)
I hear somethin' sayin'
(DU! AC!)
(DU! AC!)
(DU! AC!)
(DU! AC!)

(Well, don't you know)
That's the sound Underground, worried 'bout the Change Gang
Bein' chained and detained, workin' for the Change Gang

All day long they're sayin'
(DU! AC!)
(DU! AC!)
(DU! AC!)
(DU! AC!)

(Well, don't you know)
That's the sound Underground, worried 'bout the Change Gang
Bein' chained and detained, workin' for the Change Gang

All the Dems they used to love
Now they hate, you hear 'em wail
Worried 'bout insurance procurance
And goin', goin' to jail
You hear them bashin' their president
Then you hear just what it meant

That's the sound Underground, worried 'bout the Change Gang
Bein' chained and detained, workin' for the Change Gang

Can't ya hear them sayin', mmm
I'm doin' time--no insurance--I'm doin' time
Serve my sentence, it's at least a year
But meanwhile I got to live in fear

(Well, don't you know)
That's the sound Underground, worried 'bout the Change Gang
Bein' chained and detained, workin' for the Change Gang

All day long they're sayin', mmm
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my Democrats lied
Give me health care, I'm angry
My, my Democrats lied . . .

"I'm DONE!!! Democratic Party can go to hell for all I care"

This may well be the angriest the DUmmies have ever been. That's saying something. This is Howard-Beale-mad-as-hell mad. This is Yosemite-Sam-steam-coming-out-his-ears mad. That's mad.

What are the DUmmies upset about? Their own Democrats. The health care bill their Senate is about to pass. Why? THERE'S NO PUBLIC OPTION!!! DUmmieland is about to IMPLODE!!! They're all ready to LEAVE the Democrat Party, even though they're posting on DEMOCRATIC Underground!! It's a mutiny! It's a riot! It's . . . Situation Normal, except more so.

Right now DUmmieland is FILLED with outraged threads. I've picked the current "Greatest," the one sitting atop the leader board, namely, this gentle and thoughtful THREAD, "I'm DONE!!! Democratic Party can go to hell for all I care."

So grab a blood pressure cuff and let us witness the implosion, in Apoplectic Red, while the mellow commentary of your humble guest corresponden, Charles Henrickson, counting down the days to November, is in the [brackets]:

I'm DONE!!! Democratic Party can go to hell for all I care

[They're working on it.]

Letting Joe Lieberman rule and laugh and not do a thing about it. Giving that lying sack of sh*t chairmanships and leverage while folks are dying.

[Little Joe is not a popular figure in DUmmieland today.]

I've been through good and bad on DU since 2001, but this was the most disgusting, hurtful thing I've had to witness in politics.

[More disgusting than a Barney Frank fundraiser?]

You can bet your ass I will not donate to DNC or anyone associated with this mess. I might even sit out this election.

[Promise?]

Joe should go. gimme a dozen more Kucinich's, then we'll get some "change".

[Like a robust public option for men from Mars.]

Maybe Obama enjoys sharing the presidency with Joe.

[Barry wants to spread the wealth around with Joe the Insurance Agent.]

Let's see the Democrats 'get tough' for a change

[GET TOUGH, CREAM PUFF!]

Why is he not listening to voters and health care advocates like Howard Dean and the people who have screamed and hollered first for single payer then for at least a strong public option?

[Howard Dean, the Howard Beale of the Democrat Party. YEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!]

There are quite a few pissed off DU'ers here

[Democratic Understatement.]

This is the saddest day I can remember for being dem. . . .

[Cue the photo of the Crying DUmmie.]

Outrage is too tepid to describe my feelings.

[This is Elin-Nordegren-golf-club-in-her-hands mad!]

We've been had.

[We be mad.]

"F***ing Livid" works for me in times like these.

["Times like these" = every day I've ever been on DU.]

I have been carrying Obama's water here for weeks and now I'm done.

[No more H2Obama!]

I cannot believe how pissed and betrayed I feel.

[Not me. I BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

I did not expect a Democratic President and a Democratic Congress to force every American to have to purchase from a corporation their healthcare.

[NOBODY expects the Expanded Imposition!]

IT MAKES YOU REALIZE YOU'VE BEEN CHUMPED

[Chumpy McDUmmie!]

We got seriously PUNK'D.

[PWNED!]

I see nothing but a burning bag of dogsh*t.

[Blue Dogsh*t.]

I'm about ready to puke on my computer.

[That's called "pulling a Pitt."]

now I'm prepared to vote against all my incumbents in the primaries if possible, but in the general for sure. If the Democrats won't help me get a better candidate in the primary, I'll vote Republican just to encourage other Democrats to run next time.

[Thanx!]

I'm really PISSED!!!!!

[Happy place, happy place. . . .]

We start campaigning for Kucinich for president 2012 and we start right now.

[Yes! Go for it!! "THE EVIL ELF FOR EQUAL HEALTH!!"]

You need a serious reality check if you actually believe that Kucinich has any kind of chance.

[Reality never stopped anyone in DUmmieland before.]

I want Kucinich to start a new party. . . . I want it to be a new left party of course..even call it the New Dem's or something. . . .

[Kookcinich can start the "Unidentified Fighting Oddballs" (UFOs).]

Democratic Underground should change a few ground rules and then change its name to Progressive Underground.

[Sorry, "PRUmmies" doesn't work.]

The message we send to the dems, when we continue to vote for the lesser of two evils, is that they can continue to betray democratic values because we'll continue to vote for them. It's total insanity. I don't think the dems realize how incensed the base is at this betrayal & that we have reached our boiling point.

[The Dems are the Per-DU Boilermakers!]

we need a leftist party in this country. . . . now all we need is a name for said party.

[The Whigged-outs?]

we need a cool mascot though. like a velociraptor.

[Sorry, you can't have our beaver!]

As long as it's waving a red flag, that's fine.

[The Soviet flag is available.]

Registered with the Socialist Party of Florida (Democratic Socialists, like Bernie Sanders in Vermont) a few weeks ago.

[Let's see, "Socialist Underground". . . . "SCUmmies"?]

We've been duped!

[DUped, I tell ya!]

I can't remember ever being this disgusted. . . .

[What about the Barbara Mikulski Swimsuit Issue?]

I will never vote for another democrat. . . .

[May your tribe increase!]

Health care "reform" that = a mandate to buy private insurance + expanded war + no jobs =

[THE FORMULA OF DISCORD!!!]

I won't get fooled again.

[Until next time.]

No more driving Dems to the polls on election day. . . .

[They'll have to WALK from the cemetery now!]

I feel sick to my stomach.

[EASY, Will! Slow down! The night is still young!]

The Democratic party will never get another dime from me. . . .

[Not One Dem Dime Day!!!]

We don't even exist.

[Did somebody say something?]

We cave, we placate, we let Leiberman stay meanwhile Republicans can have sex with prostitutes who are found dead and THEY GET AWAY WITH IT!

[In fact, they get away with it SO MUCH that . . . NO ONE HAS EVER HEARD OF IT!]

Yes, we've elected a bunch of feckless, gutless, corrupt jackasses to both houses of congress.

[But they're OUR feckless, gutless, corrupt jackasses. . . . This DUmmie will keep voting Democrat.]

Gutless bastards. . . . I am beyond disgusted. . . . We are stuck with a bunch of lying, sniveling pieces of crap. . . . They can all go f*** themselves...I just get angrier and angrier the more I type. . . .

[DUmmie ramapo, you win today's Peace, Love & Tolerance Award®! Congratulations!]

I feel sick.

[Hit the porcelain, Will!]

the mods have got their .22s cocked and ready. There's a whole lot of tombstonin' goin' on.

[Cocked and coded!]

Thankfully the mods are way to smart to mistake people venting genuine and understandable anger for trolls.

[Unless the mods themselves are . . . LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!!]

Great. Let's welcome the f***ing GOP back next year.

[I, for one, welcome our f***ing GOP overlords.]

Bye now, I'll let you all go back to your rising blood pressures. From what i've read here, i see a couple of nervous breakdowns, 1 heart attack, and three strokes in your futures. Hope you got good HEALTH INSURANCE!

[Hee! Hee!]

DUmmies give Zero an "EPIC FAIL"!

EMPEROR ZERO

ZERO POSSUMUS ARUGULA

So it seems Emperor Zero was on with Oprah Windbag last night, and she asked him to give himself a grade for this, his first year in office. Mr. Modest gave himself a "good solid B plus." He added that if ObamaCare passes, he would tip that up to an "A minus."

What kind of a report card do the DUmmies give Dear Leader? Now you would think at a place called DEMOCRATIC Underground, the Democrat President would score very high. Think again, Einstein! The DUmmies give Zero an "EPIC FAIL"! At least a lot of them do. Some bravely try to bail out the sinking ship that is the Black Pill. But Present Obama has been so ineffective at advancing their "progressive" agenda, the Progs give him a bad progress report. Read it and wee-weep, Barry, here in this THREAD, "President Obama Gives Himself a ‘Solid B-Plus’" and this THREAD, "Obama gives himself a grade B Plus with his perfomance so far---what does DU give him?."

So now let's drop in on the Teachers' Lounge, where the DUmmies are busy filling out their evaluations, in Report Card Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [Barackets]:

President Obama Gives Himself a ‘Solid B-Plus’

[Of course, he's just being modest. Surely the members of Democratic Underground will give his dazzling performance an "A PLUS"!!]

not in my book. . . .

[Wha-a???]

You gave him an A too?

[Um. No.]

so funny I forgot to laugh. . . .

[Hee! Hee!]

Solid A.

[A for Abysmal.]

It's amazing the turn around that's happening in our country now. . . .

[Yes, Obozo's poll numbers are plummeting like a rock! Buyer's remorse, bigtime, and there's no return counter!]

yes, things are going swimmingly. . . .

[Barry is swimming below C level.]

Talk about audacity or is it hubris?

[The Audacity of Hubris: Grade Self-Inflations]

+1!

[-0!]

No, Obama, you get a C- grade. I could have done what you have done so far, and done more. . . .

[DUmmie BeFree gives himself a B Plus.]

Obama has failed. . . .

[President is above his pay grade.]

You like Cheney running around free, shooting off his mouth?

[Obama fails the Cheney Frogmarch test.]

There has been no real change from Bushco.

[Chimpy McSame.]

So, you never criticized Bush? Hypocrisy is real ugly.

How is criticizing Baby Caligula a problem for you?

[Barry Arugula is the new Baby Caligula.]

You and all your bitter little friends... Bitter, bitter, bitter.

[Typical bitter DUmmies.]

he's not bush, but he's not exactly rocking the ole bush boat is he? . . . That to me is epic fail.

[Rock the Bush boat or you're Barack the Bushbot! Epic fail!]

yeah, I'm bitter, because I was stupid enough to believe a fork-tongued politician with a slogan about "change" who now appears to be one of the foxes robbing my henhouse.

[The slick brown fox jumped over the stupid DUmmie.]

If he'd given himself an A, he'd have looked like an a$$hole.

[A for a$$hole, B+ for more than a bozo.]

Delusional. F.

[The sinking of Delusitania.]

It would be interesting to hear his reasons for giving himself a B+. He must be inhabiting an alternate universe from the one I'm living in.

[He lives on the Third Barack from the Sun.]

B for Buttmunch

[Is that you, Ben Burch?]

It's not Obama

[The old "dog ate my homework" excuse.]

It's Rahm!! It's Summers!! It's Geithner!! It's Gates!! It's Congress!! It's Cheney's moles!! It's Blue Dogs!! It's Yellow Dogs!! It's DINO's!! It's RINO's!! It's !!...

[The Blue Dogs ate his homework!!]

A straight D

[Those are hard to find.]

- - - - -

BONUS PARODY!

THANX to FReeper visualops for the inspiration for this song! Click a music link and sing along!



BAD NEWS FOR BARACK
Tune: "Limbo Rock" Original MIDI

Every lib'ral boy and girl
All the folks in Limbaugh World
Both sides bashing on Barack
All find something they can mock
Track his numbers, track his polls
Track the unemployment rolls
All the pollsters on the block
Say it's bad news for Barack

He'll go lower now
He'll go lower now
How low can he go

First he spread the wealth around
Then he bowed down to the ground
Spend a trillion, make it three
Spend it like it grows on trees
Track his numbers, track his polls
Track the unemployment rolls
All the pollsters on the block
Say it's bad news for Barack

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Though he started out on top
Every time the numbers drop
There's a ratings trend that shows
He will fall to record lows
Track his numbers, track his polls
Track the unemployment rolls
All the pollsters on the block
Say it's bad news for Barack

Don't move that phone book far
He needs a polling czar
How low can he go

DUmmies Suddenly Discover ReidCare is a SCAM

Remember all the excitement over the "unveiling" of ReidCare in the Senate a few days ago? Harry Reid came as close to gleeful as he ever gets (which means a bit less gloomy than usual) when he announced his new "consensus" healthcare bill which entails expanding MediCare coverage to folks as young as 55? He made it appear that there was a new momentum on a health bill. Only one problem. The Associated Press revealed that ReidCare contains rationing. So if you need end of life care, forget it. Too expensive. This was the argument against the death panels that conservatives made a few months ago but were mocked for being paranoid...even though they were right. So now the DUmmies have discovered that ReidCare is nothing more than a SCAM to get a health bill to Obama to sign before he gives the State of the Union speech in January. Yes, it is no longer a matter of having a well thought out health care bill through Congress. It is all about having Obama sign a health bill into law as a feather in his cap before the state of the union speech. And now that the DUmmies have discovered what a scam ReidCare is, they are enraged as you can see in this THREAD, "The arrogance of allowing 'annual limits' on health care...." So let us now watch the DUmmies all upset about being scammed once again in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, still trying to figure out how someone as gloomy and grumpy as Harry Reid ever got as far in politics as he did, is in the [barackets]:

The arrogance of allowing "annual limits" on health care....

[Hope and Spare Change.]

It is stupefying. It is mind-blowing. Surely the Senate knew someone would notice that they were stripping the lifeline for critically ill patients, hiding it deep down in the bill.

[Welcome to the wonderful world of "transparency."]

I feel like saying how dare they do this...but it would be a silly thing to say. They dare because they can, because they know they will get away with it.

[Toss anything at the wall just so The One can claim a health care victory by the time of his State of the Union speech.]

The last few days I have read posts about how nearly all Democrats support Obama, how only a pathetic little few dare not.

[We few. We pathetic few.]

It is not Obama I am concerned about. He has the oratorical ability to pull it off and come out in 2012 with flying colors.

[Um...uh...my teleprompter...broken.]

It is another matter how he would lose the majority in congress just because of the endless ways they jerk around those of us who gave them a majority.

[And the biggest of the jerks are the DUmmies.]

Those who are very ill, those with the most medical bills will pay dearly for that hidden clause that the Senate in its arrogance allowed to stay in there.

[I wonder if this DUmmie was laughing at conservatives last summer for daring to suggest that ObamaCare would have death panels to handle the rationing problem? And now on to the other DUmmies...]

I thought the whole f&cking point was to protect people from catastrophic bills due to having a major life threatening disease. What in the f*ck are we doing?

[Proving the right RIGHT when they claimed last summer that ObamaCare would lead to death panels.]

I do not even pretend to know what they are doing. I don't think even they know what they are doing.

[But surely Joe Biden is competent?]

This is just one more reason why we need Universal Single Payer health care!

[For the DUmmies, all roads lead to socialized medicine.]

Can you imagine what cancer patients would face? It is mind-boggling.

[They would face Death Panels...just as EVIL rightwingers have been saying all along.]

In the 2010 primaries, I will NOT vote for an incumbent. In the general election, I will NOT vote for an incumbent. It does not matter to me if he or she is a Democrat, Republican, Unitarian, or Vegan - it is time for the office holders to be replaced with a fresh crop of weasels. The current crop has feasted in the henhouse long enough.

[GASP! You would even vote against incumbent Wiccans and Gaians?]

WHO put this limit in this bill? I would like the names, please. I would like the right to face her sentencers.

[Who put the limits in ReidCare? One clue would be the first syllable of ReidCare.]

Hill sources explain that this was inserted because CBO said premiums would "go through the roof" if insurers couldn't cap benefits.

[Without the limits the bill would add greatly to an already massive deficit. We are in multi-trillion dollar deficit territory nowadays. And the Chinese who own much of the debt are ticked off bigtime.]

I'm sure they are clueless, and also probably don't care if any of us live or die.

[Don't worry. ACORN will make sure that you still vote after death.]

Harry Reid should be drawn and quartered for trying to sneak this through a 2,000 page bill.

[So how is that transparency thing working out for you?]

Which is exactly why we need Single Payer, Universal Health Care for all.

[As stated upthread, all roads lead to socialized medicine for the DUmmies.]

The plan is: "Don't get sick, if you do, you will die because we aint payin JACK!"

[Perhaps its time for Alan Grayson to revise his cardboard sign. It's the DEMOCRATS doing this.]

Angry DUmmies call for REVOLUTION!!!

The DUmmies are revolting! Well, OK, you already knew that. No, what I'm talking about is "revolting" as in THE REVOLUTION!!! The DUmmies are ANGRY! They're up in arms! They're ready to hit the streets! DUAC! DUAC!

So before we begin, let's sing this Ode to the Angry DUmmie:

THAT'S A DUMMIE
Tune: "That's Amore"

When the Moonbats go wild
With the sh*t that they've piled,
That's a DUmmie.
When they've plain lost their heads
Like they've gone off their meds,
That's a DUmmie.

Hopes will fly,
Soaring to the sky, rising way up high
Like a giant sequoia.
Hands will wring--
What a ding-a-ling, what a ding-a-ling--
And you'll think, "Paranoia."

When the "F" words flow free
Just like on MTV,
That's a DUmmie.
When they march in the street
Without leaving their seat,
You're in luck:

Those aren't Rovian plants,
They're just Ants in their rants,
And they're FUnnie!
For a laugh and a half
Reading each paragraph--
That's a DUmmie!

Now the ironic thing is that the DUmmies are calling for REVOLUTION precisely at a time when their DEMOCRATS are controlling everything! But Mr. Hopey-Changey and the DC Dems have let them down bigtime! Therefore . . . TO THE STREETS! MAN THE BARRICADES! You can almost hear "The Internationale" playing in the background as you read this THREAD, "Revolution is coming, and if you are 50 or younger it's coming in your lifetime."

So grab your pitch and torchfork as we survey the seeds of REVOLUTION, in Bolshevik Red, while the calm commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets]:

Revolution is coming, and if you are 50 or younger it's coming in your lifetime.

[OK, I'm 56. Can you hurry things up? This would be FUn to watch, and I don't want to miss it.]

We've got a government of the wealthy, by the wealthy and for the wealthy. We've got a bunch of millionaires and billionaires running the show in Congress, in the Executive and in the Judiciary.

[And they're mostly . . . DEMOCRATS. Yes, the Democrat Party. Brought to you by George $oro$.]

But, what the wealthy in power fail to understand is the seething anger of the people. And, the truth is, there are more of us than there are of them.

[Great Seethers Host!]

there will be revolution. And, sadly, it will be bloody. There will be riots in the streets.

[There will be LAFF riots here at DUmmie FUnnies, as we watch you Keyboard Kastros rise up out of the sugar cane fields and overthrow the Baracktista Regime!]

Barack Obama won't save us. The Democratic Party won't save us. God (if there is a god) won't save us. We can only save ourselves.

[We are the revolutionaries we've been waiting for!]

Revolution is coming. Mark my words.

[Mock my words. Thank you, DUmmie rateyes. Now your comrades respond . . .]

horray for everything. bring it on!

[WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Revolution is FUn!!!]

We need a revolution, but not one that is violent.

[Aw, that kind of takes all the FUn out of it!]

Non-violent revolution. Hey, maybe it could be a reality show.

[I can see it now: "Who Wants to Insult a Millionaire?"]

I dunno about it being non-violent. I look around me. I really do. What do I see? France, late 1790's.

[Let them eat rice cake!]

Right The F*ck On!! What in the name of all that's sane, is the "Left" so g*dd*mned afraid of?? . . . We're dying in the streets, NOW!!

[Somewhere! In my imagination, maybe!!]

the right has us beat hands down on crazy. Our strategic reserves of batsh*t are sort of low.

[Oh, I don't know about that. You sell yourselves short.]

Who is dying in which streets? I have no problem with passion. I do have a problem with nonsense, however passionate.

[And you, DUmmie jberryhill, win today's Kewpie Doll, for this Brief Moment of Mental Clarity.]

As I said many. many moons ago, "Bring it down!"

[As I said many, many moonbats ago: "You're NUts!"]

everyone is just too fat and lazy.

[Sorry, only one Kewpie Doll per thread.]

as long as folks have iphones and internet connections, things will stay the same.

[What hath Algore wrought?]

I think this is on target. We will be masses of serfs.

[Serfs up!]

I thought you said Smurfs.

[The Blue Revolution begins today!]

Will it be a teabagger kind of revolution, or a your kind of revolution?

[Forget the Teabaggers! It's the Charge of the Latte Brigade! Barista vs. Batista!]

I anticipate watching on the news from somewhere in the Netherlands. Good luck.

[Start the revolution without me!]

welfare, and unemployment, and such like programs were put together in response to rioting farmers and hobos and such, who were hijacking milk delivery trucks. . . .

[We shall Oberweis some day. . . .]

When you don't get little tremors to relieve the stress on a fault, when a quake comes it is big. I think we are looking at the San Adreas Big One coming.

[Bush's Fault!]

Viva!!!!!

[¡Viva la Revolución!]

It's going to start this spring. . . . We are looking for 5000 seriously committed folk to kick this off. We want 1000 people arrested each day. Clogging up major thoroughfares and filling up their jails. It will coincide with the 7th anniversary of our illegal and immoral invasion of Iraq. Big doings in DC this March!

[The Month When Everything Finally Changed.]

If you don't believe most of the BushCo elite are still running the show, you're delusional.

[The reason Barack won't let you see his birth certificate is . . . he's Poppy's long-lost love child! Yes, it's true!]

Welcome to Silly Season on DU. it's the only place to go when you're a political junkie, your party has all the power, and yet your life is not magically golden.

[Hee! Hee!]

the biggest woo woo thread i have ever seen on DU. these people have lost their minds.

[Woo! Woo!]

Maybe we'll get hit by a comet.

[Cancel the revolution!]

I'm sorry, I'd like to believe in it. I used to believe in it. But now? No, its not happening and if it does, it'll be a 15 second spot on the evening news between the commercials for Survivor and Lady Gaga.

[I *want* to BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!!!!!!!!!!!]

It just seems like this notion of revolution or civil war is being romanticized here.

[Ya think?]

Power to the People

[Right on! Right on!]

Let's say it does happen. What then? Who leads the Country in the aftermath? How do we re-establish leadership?

[It could easily be accomplished with a computer. A computer could be set and programmed to accept factors from youth, health, sexual fertility, intelligence, and a cross-section of necessary skills.]

we only have ourselves to blame for the coming storm. And I agree...there is a nasty storm brewin.

[A perfect REVOLTIAN storm!]

Great. You want a revolution, the freepers want a civil war. Is there any way we could resolve this without killing ourselves?

[Beer Summit II?]

shhh...it's already begun.

[The revolution is kind of like a sealed Rove indictment: It's already happened, it's just that nobody knows about it yet.]

Hit them where it hurts - a peaceful economic revolution. . . . Stay out of Wal-Mart as much as possible. . . . Give up your football tickets. Your NASCAR tickets. . . . Cut back on your alcohol.

[Pitt was with you up till that point.]

I'm 51 so I'll miss it!. . . sh*t so I'll miss the revelation by one year?

[Sorry! No revelation OR revolution for you!]

Aux Barricades!

[Liberté! Égalité! Fraternité!]

V for Vendetta

[D for DUmmie.]