Presidential Campaign of Plugs Biden Dies At Birth

(NOTE: In response to some constructive criticism, I have tightened up the format of the DUmmie FUnnies so there is less white space on the blog. Let me know if you prefer this type of format and I will continue it.)

Joe Biden is like the high school kid who, not quite being in the "cool" group, desperately tries to talk his way in. I've seen the type. He is the guy who stands with his food tray in the cafeteria blabbering away to the jocks at the jock table, hoping beyond hope that he will be invited to sit with them. It never happens but it doesn't keep the blowhard from trying over and over again. And the more he tries to be in the "in" group, the less likely that it will happen. NOBODY, not even his own Democrats, wanted Biden to run for president but he decided to do so anyway. The result is that he immediately placed his foot in his blowhard mouth as soon as his campaign kicked off this week. However, there is an upside to the Blowhard Biden campaign. He is sure to provide LOTS of laughs for us. The material is already flowing from this Daily KOs KOmmie THREAD authored by KOmmie KOs himself titled, "Giving Biden the benefit of the doubt?" So let us now watch the KOmmies get upset over Plugs Biden in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, suggesting that Plugs WEAR THE HAIR, is in the [brackets]:

Giving Biden the benefit of the doubt?

[Yeah, let's give him the benefit of the doubt so he can entertain us again with another foot-in-mouth trick.]

It's sort of ironic that Biden stepped in it big time the same day he announces his exploratory committee for president. Let's recap:

“I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,” he said. “I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

[I mean, that's a classic foot in mouth, man.]

So either 1) he's a patronizing asshole, or 2) he's a historical revisionist asshole. Either way, he's an asshole. And either way, the racial element is inescapable.

[I have a pretty good hunch that Plugs Biden never treated KOmmie KOs with any Blogola $$$.]

Update: I got an email from Biden's director of online communication claiming I'm giving a "one-sided impression" of Biden. Aside from the fact that this poor guy (Eric Carbone) thinks blogs are supposed to be "fair and balanced", it's true, I've completely forgotten to write about the other side of the story -- how Biden is a bought and paid for subsidiary of MBNA. When Bank of America acquired MBNA, Biden was likely part of the package deal.

[Yup! Definitely no Blogola.]

Neal Kinnock (sp?) is laughing.

[Watch out, Neal, or Plugs Biden will plagiarize your laughter.]

but they're all sooo... articulate! Except for Al Sharpton. He's just another gangster.

[That's gangsta.]

Biden has a bad case of foot in mouth disease. Probably a terminal one. Cuz it's sure killed his slim to none chance.

[On the first day of his campaign, Plugs Biden's chances went from slim to none to nil to none.]

Kinnock did the same thing with Thatcher. He cnstantly put his foot in his mouth.

[Plugs Biden plagiarized that too.]

Somewhere in Delaware, a village is missing its idiot.

[It Takes A Village Idiot.]

what frickin' storybooks did he read as a child? goldilocks and the three nicely groomed black people? the emporer's new pimp suit? hansel and moesha?

[I was always partial to the Hansel and Moesha bedtime stories.]

maybe Biden just meant that Obama is the first black presidential candidate who wasn't corrupt.

[Jesse Jackson and Big Sharpton will be pleased to hear that.]

Too bad our "first mainstream African-American candidate" happens to be half white.

[Such a tragedy.]

Articulate is such a loaded word. It's like saying someone is soulful etc.

[Or like saying a Japanese guy is sofu etc.]

He's an asshole. And his slipup, Freudian as it may be, is an insult to a lot of people.

[It was a Freudian slipup.]

Seriously, he has as much chance of winning the nomination as I do.

[Is that you, Tom Vlasic?]

Biden just has diarrhea of the mouth. He just talks and doesn't know what the bleep is going to pour out of his mouth.

[Plugs Biden had an Ex-Lax moment.]

Biden also says the Democrats don’t want to assume the presidency saddled with a war and have to be responsible for pulling the plug. "We can choose to hang together or choose to hang separately on Iraq. There is every incentive for us to hang together," he added.

[While he was pulling his hair plug, he succeeded in plagiarizing Ben Franklin.]

The guy's an ***hole...it's not even worth the bother of asking if he's "electable," because doesn't have enough support for it to be worth discussing...kind of like discussing the roadworthiness of a car that has no engine...

[Or the hirsuteness of a skull that has no hair.]

Jesse Jackson Can spit in my food anytime.

[Is that you, Ben Burch?]

How many times does this man need to announce his candidacy before he realizes that no one is listening?

[But they're definitely laughing.]

Are we not allowed to call blacks articulate? I'm not yanking your chain here. Do you think that this word should never be used to apply to black people?

[I know it really pisses off Seminoles to call them articulate.]

Biden's so yesterday. His time is past.

[Plugs Biden is the first Biden in a thousand generations of Bidens to be so yesterday.]

We owe Biden nothing, and better that Darwinian forces cull the weak early. BIDEN is the weak; let him rot.

[Survival of the fittest culls out those who throw the most fits.]

I think Biden is a bloviating jerk--but not for this. And I hate to pile on like a sheep where the shepherd of this site is none-too-subtly prodding me.

[And shepherd KOmmie KOs surely does love prodding his flock.]

I have no idea why Edwards and Clinton do not have enough guts to fight back. Maybe they plan to suck up to Joe after he drops out.

[Maybe they just don't want to stop Plugs Biden when he is in the middle of committing political suicide.]

Biden shoots his mouth off without thinking

[He just wants to fit in with his fellow Democrats.]

the issue that kills him will be that he's a blithering idiot.

[Another example of wanting to fit in with his fellow Democrats.]

He says too many stupid things. He loves to hear himself talk; he doesn't get along well with others. Even in the hearings last week, he interrupted other senators and responded to them as they spoke. He's sabotages himself all of the time.

[Again he wants to act like his fellow Democrats.]

He plays the religion game very well with voters. But I think he also knows it's a rhetorical thing--much like Clinton could always talk that talk.

[A KOmmie praises Obama by stating that he can play the pretend religion game just as well as Clinton did.]

biden is developing a pattern.

[That male baldness pattern started decades ago for Plugs Biden.]

Obama is BY FAR the most articulate cnadidate in the field, either democrat or republicrat.

[Racist!]

One time too many. People will only put up with it for so long. Delaware the slave state, Indians at 7-11, and now this. It's like my nickname. He has hit the trifecta.

[Now he goes for the perfecta.]

Joe Biden is in love with the sound of his own voice. He should never be seriously considered to be presidential timber.

[So you want to eliminate most of the current candidates?]

Biden talks first and thinks later, has for years (I'm being kind there and assuming that he does in fact think at all). He says a lot of dumb, ill-considered things. Now his dumb, ill-considered statements are going to make national headlines, something he should have anticipated. He needs to stop babbling, but at this point I doubt he's capable of it. It's just the way he is.

[He's just trying to keep up with his fellow Democrats.]

Right now I'm dating Obama but I might marry Hillary. Her "evil men" thing kinda reminded me of the Big Dog...in a good way.

[That HAS to be you, Ben Burch.]

Remember, we allowed the Dean Scream to kill him. It can't work if the people don't give it credence.

[That Dean Scream you heard? You really didn't really hear it. YEEEEEEAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!]

Looks like Biden's POTUS bid is DOA.

[RIP for the Senator from DE.]

does this mean... that biden will be making no appearances on dailykos during the upcoming campaign, to spout off some platitudes about the power of the netroots, answering three questions with one sentence answers and then leaving for his busy schedule?!?! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[And no chocolate fountain at a Las Vegas Stratosphere party? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Indeed, Markos is acting precisely like those who attacked John Kerry on the botched joke.

[So KOmmie KOs has Swift Boated Plugs Biden? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

You left out the part where they found that the elder Kushner was schooled at a madrassa, and dated a girl named Haddasah, where he routinely slipped her his kielbasa.

[How dare you cast aspersions on Joe Lieberman's wife!]

another diarrhea-mouthed, ivory tower Senator like Kerry and so many others, who think the world revolves around them and are out of touch with the real world. They're almost as bad as Republican thieves; they steal our time and our hope again and again.

[I knew there was something positive about Plugs Biden.]

Senator Joe Biden announced that he was checking into therapy today. "Recent idiotic statements that I have made indicate that I need a full theraputic workout to get to the core of my problem."

[Will he be in the same ward as the Breck Girl?]

Let's hear him discuss the $100,007.00 he's taken from AIPAC to subvert US policy in favor of a foreign government, killing thousands of innocent people as a result.

[The Zionists implanted controlling brain chips while doing his hair plugs.]

Biden said something bigoted, made worse by his previous slave state comments. It seems like a trend to me. If a Republican had said these things we would be all over him. I still don't understand why Biden "gets the benefit of the doubt" or "gets a pass." Why?

[Because he is a D-E-M-O-C-R-A-T.]

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DUmmies Outraged Over Crewcut Photographer At DC Demonstration

This is the CRIME OF THE CENTURY!!! A crewcut photographer was spotted by a DUmmie taking pictures of last Saturday's demonstration in DC. That was all DUmmie NoSheep knew about him but it was enough to send her and other DUmmies into a rage. Ironically, this is an example of what DUmmies say they are against---profiling. All the DUmmie needed to know was that the photographer was was cleancut and crewcut. Since he wasn't a scurvy mess like the majority of the demonstrators, the DUmmie naturally figured he was up to no good as you can see in his THREAD titled, "Your thoughts on this mystery man I confronted and photographed in DC this weekend." Well my thought is that some government Homeland Security agent decided to photograph the demonstrators and figured he could blend right in by sticking out like a sore thumb. Does that sound ridiculous? Well, that is what the DUmmiesbelieve. Of course, there must have been government agents photographing the loons but the DUmmies would never have known because the agents were smart enough to look exactly like leftist loons. This means they didn't bathe nor wash their clothes for a couple of weeks. Even before 9-11, I happen to know that DC was swarming with lots of undercover agents and most of them you couldn't tell from homeless bums. So let us now watch the DUmmies indulge in their fantasies about a photographer they know almost nothing about in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, knowing that the best way to clandestinely photograph the demonstrators merely requires one to wear a Che Guevara T-Shirt, is in the [brackets]:

Your thoughts on this mystery man I confronted and photographed in DC this weekend

[An obvious government agent who wants to be immediately identified as such by the DUmmies by conveniently appearing to look...like a government agent.]

I promised this guy HIS picture would be on the web

[Vengeance is mine, sayeth the DUmmie.]

Mr. NoSheep, in red the sweater in the background, brought to my attention 2 men with military haircuts and no protest signs, badges or anything, taking pictures of a particular group of marchers. This group was near the back of the march, with a wide yellow banner calling for an end to discrimination against Middle Eastern/Islamic peoples and justice for Palestinians.

[Profiling conservatives strictly by appearance.]

I remembered a video I watched on the web not too long ago, where cops and other official agents were taking photos of protesters at a march (perhaps in Oregon?) and the cops basically incited a riot and singled out those who they believed to be "leaders" in these activist groups. I wanted to knock the camera out of his hand but this guy was steroid HUGE with an unmistakably deadly vibe. So I put my sign in front of his camera. He turned and literally growled and sneered "BACK OFF!!"

[Translation: I was scared sh*ttless.]

I asked him why he was taking these kids' pictures and he said I was all about "rights" until it came to his. I don't have to tell you what a nonsequitur that was.

[Let's see. The photographer is minding his own business, quietly taking pictures and DUmmie NoSheep gets into his face like it is the crime of the century.]

Anyway...I yelled at him a little bit because it made me so angry that someone like this even exists. I told him I thought he should leave these people alone. Then I just thought "I need to take this guy's picture!" So I did. I wonder what was going through the mind of his buddy standing there with him. You can see his eyes behind the glasses. Maybe the scenario will make him think for just a split second in the future. Or maybe he has a chip in his head too like the other guy. He felt like Robo-cop or the Terminator or something. Programmed.

[You were angry that he even exists based SOLELY on his appearance. So what was that you DUmmies keep saying about the EVILS of profiling?]

Who does he work for I wonder? He was not taking photos for a memento of the march. He was collecting info.

[And you somehow know this as a fact? Now on to the other DUmmies...]

Kicking to expose this guy. For what it's worth.

[It's pretty worthless, DUmmie NoSheep.]

I'll kick for the nazi scum too. Photograph this!

[Sheesh! A crewcut guy quietly photographs a demonstration and this is somehow extrapolated into him being nazi scum. Profiling again?]

We don't know who this guy is. For all I know, he could be a reporter taking pictures, or just a guyw ith a website. I doubt he is "nazi scum."

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Then why the secrecy?

[Minding his own business is defined as "secrecy."]

This person IS NOT a newspaper or magazine photographer. They're usually liberal folks who are certainly not hostile to others---aggressive perhaps, but not hostile.

[A Kewpie Doll to you for correctly assessing the political persuasion of a majority of the MSM.]

I actually said "I'm going to take your picture." and he said "Go Ahead".

[How DARE he threaten you like that!]

Former (or current) Marine junior officer. Probably DIA. Welcome to the New World Order. The sweater is military issue, imho.

[Detailed profiling leading to wild speculation.]

or from the Gap. I have a sweater just like that. wearing it right now, in fact (just in military green, not black

[What office at the DIA do you work in?]

Thing is, with privatization the way it is, who knows who it might be? Hired or maybe just someone taking pictures. However, the line about "rights" and everything sounds like someone who doesn't think everyone should have them.

[Talking about rights is definite Hate Speech.]

You can imagine all the things I wish I'd said! Like "Did you get that sweater at the Fascist Mall?"

[I can imagine the photographer's fist flying into your snarling mouth, DUmmie NoSheep.]

"The Fascist Mall"...where the truly discriminating conspirators shop!

[So that they can be easily ID'd at demonstrations.]

For example, if I were to map that appearance to the Army, I'd think it was consistent with cadre at some training school, not with some assignment where civvies are worn and he wasn't trying to stand out. So, I can't mentally map it to Army in that context. Likewise, if he's civilian (i.e. 'former' military) then he's at the 'relaxed' end of the grooming spectrum for the Corps. I don't connect the image with mercs ... since I don't think it's something they'd 'earn' enough to do. So, that's why I think something like DIA. Again, who can know?

[A Hardly Boys DUmmie searching for clues about the photographer.]

Mr NoSheep and I agreed we felt as if we were in the presence of someone almost inhuman. The picture doesn't show his vibe...but it was there.

[The Omen IV.]

I think it is important to let these people know we are on to them. I doubt they've ever questioned themselves before...if they had gone unconfronted, they would just go home feeling like the sneaky creeps they are. This time...they had to face a fellow human...if only for a second or two. They won't change...but they were forced to consider what they were doing for once. If they'd tried to hurt me. I wouldn't have felt a thing. I was too mad.

[You mean too DUmb. You are "on" to them? Who? The guy is taking photos and his high crime is being cleancut so you go on a wild speculation witchhunt based on profiling his appearance.]

Coupla thugs, serving their fascist masters . . .

[And you know that for a fact.]

I was REAL loud...best to draw attention in the event he took a swing at me. I don't know if I'd said a word had I not been in public.

[Real loud AND obnoxious.]

His buddy in the background what's that attached to his button on his shirt, down by his waist? Could that have been some sort of audio recording device?

[It was his Li'l Orphan Annie Secret Decoder Pin.]

He doesn't look very proud of himself. I wonder what sort of "man" (and I use the term loosely) does this sort of thing? Sneaky little shits who like their actions covert and their battles uneven. The kind of spirit that leads to a soccer stadium slaughter in Santiago or a village massacre in El Mozote. Is that the America they stand for? Secret wiretaps, torture and gulags? Go find yourself another country to be part of, Mr. Cableknit Sweater.

[Yeah. Real covert by showing up looking cleancut at a demonstration of loser slobs dressed like the folks at the Star Wars Bar.]

Let's photoshop his face into pornographic pictures and spread it around the web!

[Is that you, Ben Burch?]

I rethought the idea of knocking it out of his hands. He'd have probably killed me on instinct. Even if he WAS only a newspaperman! But I know better. He was no mild mannered reporter.

[DUmmie NoSheep now projects him to be a professional killer. And all because he was cleancut. Profiling.]

We should start a wiki photo database of odd folks at demonstrations. It would be interesting. Sort of a rogues gallery.

[Odd folks because they look normal.]

They're so obviously from the "dark side".

[Obviously since they don't look like the demonstration freaks.]

The repugs really hate free speech.

[Said a DUmmie with absolutely no sense of self-irony.]

The haircuts were a dead giveaway. AND the expensive camera with a lens like a damn bazooka! Hummer lens.

[I thought his camera looked like a Stinger missile but that's just me.]

I'm no camera expert, but I know a pig when I see one.

[And I know an ignoramus when I see one, DUmmie NoSheep.]

These guys should be taking pics at the freeper rally. That's where the next McVeigh is hanging out.

[The next Osama is hanging out at the DUmmie rally.]

They're collecting information for...the coming roundup -- this stuff is for real but most people don't believe it.

[Get your bags packed for your relocation to the nearest Walmart Detention Center.]

These pictures belong on the FRONT PAGE ... of the NYTIMES and with every major news organization in the country ... expose these GOONS for all to see ...

[Post their pics on Wanted posters in every post office wall in the land!]

sorry, but i don't see what's so wrong about the guy taking pics of protesters...

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Why did he act so mean and evil?

[Let's see. DUmmie NoSheep yells at the photographer and blocks his camera with a sign and she is accusing HIM of acting so mean and evil? Has the lithium kicked in for you yet, NoSheep?]

I assure you he was an asshole. It was the haircut...and his buddy there with him. Same haircuts. Same glasses.

[Tried and convicted in DUmmie Kangaroo Court based strictly on profiling.]

NoSheep is correct. You don't have to buy into it, but it's clear as day to me. But even if she isn't correct (but she is), tis always in your better interests to suspect than to trust.

[Yeah. Best to remain irrationally paranoid.]

Maybe he thought you were being a hysterical asshole? He is perfectly within his rights to photograph people, you know?

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

And we hate these guys for being automoton, naziesqe dupes of the establishment. I'd like to see us expose them like this EVERY CHANCE WE GET!

[Expose them for minding their own business!!!]

my guess is that the photographer has a right hand cross draw rig on his left side and his friend has a holdout in his left side jacket chest pocket.

[My guess is that they both have AK47s hidden in their socks.]

Those guys were standing out on purpose. Somebody else called them designated distractions. They were too obvious and were trying to let someone know they were being watched.

[They were standing out on purpose so everyone would know they were DIA agents.]

He had a chip in his head, I'm sure of it.

[DUmmie NoSheep has a chip on her shoulder, I'm sure of it.]

These two have that cocky "I can kick your ass" look and yeah, that's definitely a government-issued sweater. They wore them for the 2000 protest, too, trying to seem less intimidating than their Darth Vader get-ups. Free country my ass. This is police state.

[It's all over, man. All our freedoms GONE!]

was it that sunny that they were wearing sunglasses?

[A clue! The sunglasses are a clue!]

All Five were wearing sunglasses including our guy, Red Sweater Guy.

[Those special Fascist Mall Fashion Sunglasses.]

carry signal mirrors with you. If being watched, flash it in the lens. Or have a lot of people do it and see if they can catch the camera on fire. Or his nuts.

[Speaking of NUts...]

What a scum. Looking at his body language he is a wannabe alpha male. Just the sort of defensive turd-ball I like to irritate and torment and puncture the ego of..Anyways never believe the bluff of this kind of domineering shit head, they are nothing really bullies is what they are, morally inferior people,Scared little boys on steroids with a messiah complex.. If any jackass tries to hurt you, or dominate you,in a protest don't let him. Learn to fight dirty and go OFF, if a non badged non "official" thug tries to hurt you make sure sympathetic people witness the exchange. Don't bother to act sane and reasonable with an authoritarian ass hat at a certain point it won't do anything.. Freak him the hell out every-way till next sunday and most importantly DO NOT SUBMIT at all.These f*ckers thrive on submission and implode with insecurity inside if they don't get it.It's simple Keep eye contact with the idiot , even though he has shades on,just drill your eyes right into his as if there was no shades.Give him the cat stare.. It unnerves these overgrown toddlers really bad.That's why they wear the shades.They want to appear machine like impersonal and of course in control, but really he is just another little boy servant posing as a "master" of the plebians.

[Don't worry, DUmmie undergroundpanther. We're not the least bit worried that you might somehow act sane and reasonable.]

Its a psych tactic. more than anything they want to send the message to people that they are being watched. They can watch their lips kiss my ass though, its not about their rights. It would be fair if they identified themselves and their beliefs, just as the palestinian protesters were doing..But they didn't, they were DECIEVING and therefore were DICKS!!!

[Its a psych tactic. Send NORMAL people to quietly observe DUmmies in action and watch the FUn when it drives them NUts.]

Free Republic is located in Fresno, California, by the way. This guy could have been snapping shots for the site. Who the heck knows, and who the heck cares.

[It drives the DUmmies NUts to even think Freepers are watching them act like loons.]

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William Rivers Pitt Slams 9-11 Truthers

The whacky conpiracy theories of the 9-11 Truthers are like the flypaper of the Left. Like flypaper, the tinfoil hat theories attract swarms of Leftwingers with its allure. However, also like flypaper, the Loons quickly find themselves forever stuck to those nutcase theories. The ordinary DUmmie or KOmmie posting wildly from Mommie's basement probably doesn't mind being forever tagged with the "Truther" label but I predict that many future Democrat politicians and careerists will find themselves painfully unable to escape being stuck to the 9-11 tinfoil theories. Someday a Democrat senatorial or maybe even presidential candidate will have to confront the inconvenient truth that that they were a Truther. Of course, their media allies will claim that they are being "Swift Boated." However, the loon label is sure to stick. Of course, there are some Democrat wannabees that are looking to the future and distancing themselves from the 9-11 Truthers. One of them is Pied Piper Pitt who is desperately trying to mainstream himself from himself just enough to become a media pundit as you can see in this Boston.Com news VIDEO where he is a member of a panel of commentators composed entirely of Leftwingers including the host. However, no matter how much Will tries to mainstream himself, he will be forever haunted by his past, particularly his "scoop" that Karl Rove has already been indicted last May 12. So Pitt not so subtly "slams" the 9-11 Truthers by criticizing their spelling. Of course, being a moral coward, Pitt self-righteously proclaims that he is just concerned about the spelling but even the DUmmies can see right through him as you can see in this THREAD he authored, titled, "'9-II Was An Inside Job' - the sign behind the speakers at the rally." So let us now watch Pitt slam the Truthers in a pathetic attempt to mainstream himself in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary or your humble correspondent, thinking that Pitt sinking himself just prior to his cancelled 2003 CNN INTERVIEW might make for a great retro DUFU, is in the [brackets]:

"9-II Was An Inside Job" - the sign behind the speakers at the rally

[Posted William Rivers Pitt with a definite agenda way beyond mere grammatical corrections.]

Memo to sign-maker: the characters you have after the "9-" are the letter "I" printed twice.

[Memo to will-pitt: we can already see you coming from a mile away.]

Not ones. I's.

[And you needed to post a new thread just for that tidbit?]

Do better next time.

[Do better next time trying to conceal your agenda, Pitt. And now we see even the DUmmies can see where Pitt is REALLY coming from...]

Better Still. Learn the meaning of the word priority and skip the banner altogether.

[Pitt trying to mainstream himself enough to become a TV pundit is a priority for him.]

There are 1000's of banner out there today with 1000's of messages. Should we just ban the 9-11 ones?

[Don't ban ANY of them. The public needs to see your lunacy.]

9/11 is on-topic - this is the 9/11 war. Afghanistan, Iraq - politically infeasible without 9/11. 9/11 given as justification for the entire "Bush agenda", NSA surveillance, PATRIOT Act, "enemy combatant," above all: Iraq. There was the worst and most important conspiracy theory in its impact: Cheney's, that 9/11 was related to Iraq. No 9/11 or equivalent provocation, no Iraq. Thus only by forgetting very recent events and causality can we pretend that 9/11 is not relevant to the antiwar protest. Only by exposing 9/11, in fact, is the antiwar movement going to reach the majority who just see little reason to fight the war, even if they are against it.

[A 9-11 Truther steps up to speak the MIHOP/LIHOP talk.]

George W Bush provoked the 9-11 attacks. The 9-11 attacks appear blowback for failed US-Taliban oil and gas pipeline diplomacy and the subsequent Bush threat to invade Afghanistan before 9-11.

[This 9-11 Truther's tinfoil hat is glowing red hot.]

See post 16

[Said Pitt.]

See post 16

[Repeated Pitt.]


See post 16

[Redundancy can be quite catchy as well as contagious.]

See post 16

[Droned on Pitt. And now (drum roll) we come to the infamous post 16...]

Am I dissing the movement? Calling them tinfoilers? No. I'm saying proper spelling is important. If you believe in the movement, it should be important to you, too. Can't sell anything with a bad advertisement, and what is that sign but an advertisement for the movement?

[Posted Pitt rather disingenuously.]

You have a history of dissing the movement.

[Replied the DUmmie, not believing Pitt for a moment.]

should we dig up some your posts in the 9-11 forum?

[GASP! You are actually proposing to quote Pitt himself to prove what a hypocrite he is?]

Just like "Karl Rove Has Been Indicted" has become the freeper version of "conspiracy theory" - thanks a lot. Your assistance to GWB and his henchmen is duly noted.

[And don't forget the DUmmie FUnnies. Pied Piper Pitt's contribution to our comedy material has been duly noted...and appreciated.]

No, TruthOut and Jason Leopold are our "Morans" If credibilty issues so concern you, I suggest you buy a f*cking mirror.

[Thus we see Pitt's dilemma. He can't criticize other DUmmies without the Indictment That Dare Not Speak Its Name being brought up.]

Sounds like you're an aspiring editor, Will.

[He's an aspiring pundit thus his desperate attempt to mainstream himself so he can continue to appear on teeeeeeveeeeee.]

One of the issues I have with some of the "marches," is that they are co-opted by people who have no sense of priority and who lack focus on the "mission."

[Like A.N.S.W.E.R.? Oh and now the official disclaimer.... Pied Piper Pitt never had any contact with A.N.S.W.E.R. despite the fact that he helped organize the now forgotten September 2005 Washington rally for which A.N.S.W.E.R. had all the permits. Even though A.N.S.W.E.R. basically controlled that entire demonstraion, Pitt never ever even talked to them due to the fact that he was hermetically sealed in a giant body condom which kept that nasty A.N.S.W.E.R. away from him.]

Will just likes to try to throw his snide comments in from time to time.

[Will always has an agenda...except when he goes on a drunken post Bukowski rant in the early A.M.. Then the truth sneaks out of him in a nasty way.]

I'll let his words speak for themself

[Uh-oh, Will. Stand by for a heat blast from the DUmmie furnace.]

WilliamPitt
Sat Sep-30-06 04:17 AM
Response to Reply #17

19. The 9/11 story rots and as long as kooks like this control the "movement" (and they do), the truth will rot right along beside it. I've tried, for years. But I won't go where these people live. I won't do it. Only a fool follows a fool.

[And that was posted in the early AM so we can be sure this was the REAL Pitt posting. Those drunken rants sure provide great insight into the Pied Piper. And here is another Pitt post from that same THREAD while Pitt was still thoroughly PUI (Posting Under the Influence)...]

Because it f*cking bothers me.I'm telling you, most of what I get comes from that realm. Day after day, 50 to 100 emails a day. This crap above is tame by comparison. If someone can believe in nukes at the Towers, that means (to me) they were an easy sell on the controlled demolition stuff, the missile-into-the-Pentagon stuff, etc. I want no part of anything a person like this might buy into. This person is the reason why the Brooklyn-Bridge-for-sale joke was written in the first place. You shouldn't be asking me why I have a problem with it. I should be asking your "movement" why the most dominant voices are also the most deranged, uncredible and spastic.

[So we see what is REALLY behind Pitt's snarky comment. And it's not just mere concern over correct grammar.]

Get out of the sign-making business.

[Posted Pitt, continuing his thin facade about being concerned about mere grammar.]

I'd rather be a lousy speller then a lousy journalist.

[A DUmmie shoots a cannonball over Pitt's stern.]

ouch!

[It was a painful shot to Pitt's ego.]

That's going to leave a mark! LOL

[Pitt will anesthetize the wound with copious quantities of Bukowski's brew.]

Okay now that you have made your grammar/syntax Nazi point how about addressing her point about YOUR WORDS?

[Time for Pitt to perform the turtle in the shell routine.]

"Only a fool follows a fool."

Sorry Will, but as far as this particular subject goes, all I can say for you is.....You must spend an awful lot of time looking at your own backside when you walk.

[Pitt has been looking at his own backside since May 12...and before.]

You should get into the business of addressing your own words Instead of cheap-shot diversion. You have 24 business hours to comply.

[Pitt will send you a telegram from lockdown on the 4th floor of the Paxton Boggs building.]

I can think of much, much more embarrassing mistakes to make. I've lurked for a long time and remember something about some erroneous "breaking news"

[The breaking news about the Indictment That Dare Not Speak Its Name.]

Funny, coming from a "truthout" guy ... Please Mr. Pitt, tell us what we should protest, and how it should be done.

[Please, Mr. Pitt. Tell us how to stumble home from Bukowski's at 4 A.M..]

for someone who avoids actually discussing the topic, you have a pretty big mouth.

[Which is why Pitt has already disappeared from this thread. Mentioning the Indictment That Dare Not Speak Its Name to Pitt is like holding up a bunch of garlic in front of a vampire.]

It's usually the one's with the biggest mouths that have the biggest problem with denial when it comes to 9-11. When you have something relevant to add Will, I'll listen. Until then, you can go back to sleep. For at least 24 business hours

[Pitt will be indisposed at Bukowski's for the next 24 business hours.]

Hey, maybe they were drunk. I hope they weren't egomaniacs, though. That combo is just about useless.

[Ouch! It is going to take a lot of Bukowski's brew to ease the pain from that shot!]

I was more surprised about the signs behind the stage advertising Answer's march on March 17th, with their website on it.

[Remember, Pied Piper Pitt never ever had anything to do with ANSWER. Ever!]

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"25 years and still no significant other..."

It is my belief, from study and observation, that much of the political orientation of the Left comes from their positions as social outcasts as it has to any devotion to a collectivist political system. Often when I see a car with a BDS bumper sticker I speed up to get a look at the driver. Not to flip them the finger or anything like that. My motivation is to get a good look at them and try to figure out what is wrong with them. Usually, I can spot an angry looking goofball in an instant driving such a car. Thus we can spot DUmmie CrazyForKucinich's real problem in an instant as you can see in his THREAD titled, "25 years and still no significant other..." He is so asocial that no woman wants anything to do with him. Most likely many other DUmmies are equally asocial which explains their hate and anger. So let us now watch DUmmie CrazyForKucinich explain his 25 year dry run in the chicks department in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that DUmmie Steve2470 at least got himself a DATE before being ultimately shot down, is in the [brackets]:

25 years and still no significant other...

[Bush's fault!]

This has to be a record here...no girlfriend whatsoever in 25 years. Not even one f*cking date...like out in public. If I were a jackass and bad-looking that'd be one thing but I'm not. I'm just the complete opposite of that in fact...or so I think.

[You might not be flat out ugly but I'm guessing you are definitely a jackass. How else to explain your miserable dating record?]

I have no luck. It's probably been like over 20 people I've asked out or shown interest in and have received nothing back from any of them. Nothing.

[Not only are you likely a jackass, it sounds like you are lazy as hell. You hit on a total of 20 chicks in 25 years. That averages out to less then one chick per year. LAZY!]

I'm getting very f*cking depressed because of all of this. I really can't take it anymore. Now I'm crying again...didn't know I had tears left after last night. Gah.

[Did you get shot down by Chick #21? And now to hear the rest of the DUmmies commiserate with DUmmie CrazyForKucinich over his pathetic social life.]

Maybe your looking in the wrong places or for the wrong type? I'm 26 and probably not a lot of help, If I notice a pattern always develops with women who are a certain type or hang out at a certain place. I stay clear of those types or places.

[Maybe DUmmie CrazyForKucinich should hang out at Century Village. On a personal note, I know a weird Indian (from India) named Lala who once asked me for advice on how to pick up chicks aged 70 and up. This was somewhat shocking since Lala is only in his 30s. Anyway, I told Lala to post notices in the laundry rooms of Century Village condos. I also told Lala that he will need to get circumcised in order to appeal to those elderly ladies. Lala wasn't crazy about that idea but I told him to think of it as body sculpting. Right now Lala is considering undergoing the cut. Helpful guy as I am, I even offered to call Lala's mother in India to explain why Lala needs to get "body sculpted."]

An example for me about 4-5 years ago, I use to go to church and thought I wanted to date a christian woman. I notice a pattern of at least a half dozen times, of these church chicks being terrible communicators, if they had a problem whether it had something to do with me or anything else they didn't want to talk about it cause they thought it made them look weak in the eyes of god. So they would just keep it bottled up, you could tell something was wrong, and tension developed. I didn't want a woman like that and I didn't want to be around places with people like that so I stay clear of churches and christian women.

[Try mosques and muslim women. That is a real challenge. You can only see beneath their burkhas if you marry them. To even try to touch them prior to that means you're dead.]

I'm sorry. No advice to offer, I'm afraid-- I LIKE living alone and not being involved with anyone, so I can sympathize with your pain but not really empathize.

[Is that you, Steve2470?]

I hope you find some peace. Life is too short for worrying about what might have been, and there are just too many cool and wonderful things to experience no matter whether you do it alone or with someone else.

[Yeah. You can always continue to post in frustration in DUmmieland.]

Like what? Not having someone to hold really sucks man. A dog or cat isn't really going to hold me back either.

[Even female dogs and cats reject you, DUmmie CrazyForKucinich.]

So you like living alone? Ok but I'm sure you're going out on a date every now and then...maybe even have a girlfriend who doesn't live with you. I want to share my life with someone...I want someone to share their life with me...it's just not going to happen. I know I'm missing out on so much too...every day that passes I could have a good day but in the end it wasn't because I still have no one to share it with.

[Hmmmm... I'm feeling a Reality TV show idea brewing here. Place a hidden camera on DUmmie CrazyForKucinich and watch the comedic results when he tries to pick up a chick.]

Have you ever tried something like eHarmony.com?

[The hi-tech version of a blind date. Avoid blind dates like the plague. I know. I once had a blind date with Nikita Khrushchev. Or at least a woman who looked exactly like Khrushchev in drag. What happened was a woman from Yugoslavia who looked like Sopia Loren asked if I want to go on a date with her sister who was visiting from the Old Country. Naturally I replied in the affirmative, thinking I would be getting a younger version of Sophia Loren. Imagine my shock when I was later presented with what looked like Nikita Khrushchev wearing an ugly peasant print dress almost down to the fat hairy ankles. I shall spare you the horrifying details of that disastrous date except to cut to the end when she asked me at her door about a custom called "kissing on the first date." Since she reeked of strong garlic, I began to explain to her that such a custom was strictly optional. Before I could finish my explanation, a pair of blubbery Eastern European lips locked on mine and injected a venomous dose of ghastly garlic into my system. Gagging, I quickly made my way to the nearest 7/11, bought a half gallon of of chocolate ice cream, and scooped it desperately into my mouth in the parking lot. It was the only thing I could think of to kill the deadly garlic injection from Miss Nikita Khrushchev.]

You could place a Personal Ad in the Lounge.

[The Century Village Lounge.]

I'm not a handsome man (the word "asshole" is tossed around a lot too). It takes a long exposure to me for the girls knees to go weak. I do better at work than the bar.

[The 4 A.M. bar hags are always available.]

On the other hand, maybe there are some female DUers in your area that might be interested in dating a fellow Democrat!

[And there is always Ben Burch if you get really desperate.]

Maybe it's just sheer bad luck.

[One would have better luck winning a $50 million lottery.]

Assuming you have no gross physical deformities and have no intention of ever, ever abusing a partner you might try offshoring your bridal search. There are many cultures where the concept of marraige is such that you would be a desirable partner for a woman.

[Even a hard up female in Bangladesh will turn down DUmmie CrazyForKucinich.]

relationships are over rated. self-love is where it's at...

[LOL! And do you sing "I Touched Me" in the shower?]

I feel that I will live alone for the rest of my life. It's not that I don't want a partner, but I can't seem to find one. Even when someone shows some interest, they end up leaving for some reason or another (usually another woman). A dating record like that hardens a person. I'm at the point now where I feel as though it's not even worth trying anymore, no one will ever stay. (You gotta be impressed by such a level of cynicism!) You know, I always thought I'd be a good catch. I'm not drop-dead gorgeous, but I'm not ugly either. I try to be nice to people, and I love a good laugh. It never dawned on me that other people wouldn't see me that way. I'm 42 years old and I've never been married. It sucks to feel unwanted.

[Could a love match between DUmmie MissMillie and DUmmie CrazyForKucinich be in the making? They have so much in common. It's the social outcast thing that could bind them.]

Usually I only get one date though. I almost never hear from the person again. Although this past year I had a second date with two different people, then I didn't hear from them, so that's progress of a sort I guess.

[Is that you, Steve2470?]

I'm middle-aged and unmarried, though it's not for lack of past relationships. At this point in my life, I find that I don't even LIKE most typical American middle-aged guys, since I've always been rather out of step with mainstream American society and I'm even more so now.

[A self-described social outcast.]

Check out DemocraticSingles.net. Seriously - I checked it out for a friend and it is overflowing with progressive women.

[But how many of then have unshaved armpits and legs?]

I've looked at DemocraticSingles.com, and many of the men make a HUGE mistake. In the part that says, "Tell about yourself," they launch into a political tirade, sometimes a multi-paragraph sermon, against Bush. The end. Nothing about their personalities or interests.

[LOL! Yeah, it does tend to be a big mistake dating someone with that much ANGER in them.]

im 25 and lacking a significant other aswell. which is why i got a puppy.

[Does the puppy have BDS?]

you might get shot down 49 times to get to the frog who's a princess

[Or the frog who is a toad.]

I even broke my moral code to do a one-night stand before killing myself. And I was age 25 at the time. I stopped in the middle of it; too terrified to get any STD. The irony is almost silly.

[So you're speaking to us from the dead? How is Elvis doing?]

Although my own record is 45 years without any sex. I had a couple of chances that I turned down (and to be frank, the 2nd time I really did not have the $10).

[And since you are now 46, you had a lot of action in your first year of life.]

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Hillary's Lock On The Money Disturbs The Nutroots

So what was the REAL reason for John Kerry's exit from the Democrat campaign for the presidency yesterday? Was it the botched joke? Well, partly. However, the REAL reason was money. Kerry and the other candidates have found out that Hillary Clinton pretty much has lock on the big bucks. You want to be a Democrat presidential candidate? Then you better come up with at least $300 million to even think about being competitive with Hillary. True Hillary sounds phony as hell and has little or no charm but no matter. The frontloaded primary season is designed to help she who has the big bucks. Oh, and remember how the McCain-Feingold law was designed to remove the effect of big money on politics? Guess what? Big money is now more important than ever. As of right now Hillary will have no trouble buying the Democrat nomination. The only thing that might stand in her way is if Al Gore enters the race but that may be too little and too late. And too late the nutroots are only now beginning to wake up to the fact that Hillary will bypass them with her loot as you can see in this MYDD THREAD titled, "Hillary Clinton's DLC Problem." This marks the first DUmmie FUnnies edition featuring the MYDD Blog of KOmmie Kos's pal, Unknown Jerome of Blogola fame. The posters on MYDD will henceforth be referred to as DDUmmies. So let us now watch the DDUmmies wake up to the fact that Hillary is about to buy the Democrat nomination in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if Hillary can make nice with the DDUmmies by offering them a sip at a chocolate fountain at a Stratosphere party, is in the [brackets]:

Hillary Clinton's DLC Problem

[Overshadowed by the Nutroots Hillary problem.]

.....By far the worst example of this disturbing trend among 08ers is Hillary Clinton, who is rolling over donors and trying to prevent a primary from even happening by scooping up mindshare among elites before anyone else can organize. When you hear that you aren't credible unless you can raise several hundred million dollars, realize that this is an idea planted by these elites to entrench their power, and not something that is falsifiable. It bears saying that it's quite probable that don't need $100M to run for President - Kerry didn't lose the General because of a financial disadvantage, and he didn't win in Iowa because of a financial advantage. The 'only credible with $100M' idea is another and more sophisticated version of the electable or inevitable meme that hurt us so badly in 2004. It's something that Hillary Clinton wants us to believe is true. Whether it is true is a different story.

[Correct. You don't need $100M to run for President. Thanx to Hillary and McCain-Feingold you now need at least $300M.]

In fact, everything that Hillary Clinton is doing is designed to make us think that she cannot be stopped, to pull the plug on money for others so she can get through the nomination without having to be clear on Iraq or populist in orientation. She is desperately fighting against having to do what Jim Webb did so well - spell out plainly the irresponsibility of political and economic elites. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's a strategy. Or maybe, and this is what I believe, she sympathizes with the elite class more than the public, believing that the public are sheep who can be easily manipulated. She herself hasn't lived in anything close to the real world since 1991. She still makes major policy addresses to the DLC on a fairly regular basis.

[Hillary already pulled the plug on John Kerry. And she will pull the plug on the rest due to the frontloaded primary season specifically designed to help HER.]

Hillary Clinton's inevitability campaign is impressive. Her people aren't just hard-selling donors, they put on a full court press on the announcement, even going so far as to pretend she is competitive in the 'netroots primary'. It's a rather remarkable claim, considering that she got only 4 points in the most recent Dailykos straw poll, which is the home base for Democratic activists. Misleading reporters on netroots support is meant to distract two non-netroots audiences. One is the large dollar donor base, who will read for instance that Hillary Clinton does internet cool stuff in the Wall Street Journal without knowing that we really don't like her. And two is the early influential audience, the local politicians who know it's bad to be on the wrong side of a vindictive nominee. The echo chamber of pro-Clinton media, muscle, and money is very strong right now. But Jim Webb just showed us how hollow all that organization really is.

[If you're looking for Jim Webb to save you from Hillary, you're out of luck. Money talks, BS walks.]

Ironically, though she is popular among some base voters and most progressive elites, few activists, bloggers, or local politicians actually want Hillary as the nominee. Local politicians are desperately afraid she will hurt downticket candidates all over the country. Progressives know she hasn't dealt with Iraq, and will cripple the Democratic Party badly as Iraq gets worse in 2007 and 2008. And political junkies know that she has done very little that is substantive in the Senate except grant Bush the power to go to war and pander on flag-burning and video games. Politically, Hillary has passed out enough favors and kept every group atomized and fearful enough to make her seem both unpalatable and inevitable. That is why her camp is claiming that they are in the netroots primary, when they are simply not.

[Tossing a few bucks in the direction of Unknown Jerome might change all that.]

I believe her tending to an elite audience and ignoring the concerns of various activists explains the loathing of Hillary Clinton within a certain piece of the progressive base. I've noted before how one slice of primary voters is pretty similar to the netroots. This loathing isn't based on the right-wing slime machine, though often progressives unwittingly slip into discussions about things like 'electability'. It's a loathing that is more 'gut', more about conflicting identities. Chris has noted this with his excellent series of about a year ago on class stratification between the activist class and the elites. Hillary Clinton is an establishment elitist, and we are opposed to this institutional baggage.

[Object all you want. Hillary WILL be buying the nomination of your party.]

Demographics aside, one way to theorize about our ideology is that we have seen and rejected the triangulating model of politics. It's not that Clinton wasn't a good President in the 1990s, it's that he failed to enact anything that outlasted him. He got nothing done on, say, global warming, and failed to establish a firm post-Cold War framework that Bush didn't detonate in five minutes. More relevantly, the Clintonistas performed horribly in the 2000s, acting as lobbyists and warhawks, and just generally working against progressives until they realized they couldn't overtly beat us in the PR game.

[Psst! Don't tell anyone but Clinton declined to sign the Kyoto Accord that all the Lefties, including his VP, now insist we must sign.]

.....In my first post on Hillary Clinton this week, I asked anti-Clinton people if there were ways that Hillary Clinton could get your support. A few argued that if she apologized for her war vote they would consider her, but surprisingly, a number of people said, flat-out, no. I'm beginning to understand why. There is almost no common ground between progressive activists and elitists like Hillary Clinton. Either you are in the elite stream of discourse, the place where health care can be debated without anyone in the room fearing the risks of being uninsured but where the fear of your client losing his business model is real, or you are with the plebes who are worried about their personal health care. You are either angry about being lied to about Iraq, or you are one of the unapologetic liars. We're on one side. The elites are on the other. We can't handle someone who enabled the war and now won't be straight with us on Iraq after four years of watching our America slowly die. It just isn't possible anymore for us to be in the same conversation because there is nothing to discuss.

[The DDUmmie meltdown when Hillary buys the nomination will be FUn to watch!]

I won't be that surprised if Clinton wins the nomination, but what she needs to fear is if the various entities that loathe what Hillary Clinton stands for start talking to each other. Right now, there's a reticence to criticize Senator Clinton because of the legacy of the right, and because we don't like to go after Democrats. I doubt that reticence will continue as the candidates attack each other. Hillary Clinton is a tragic figure, a brilliant woman, and she's the frontrunner. But it's very clear that her campaign will be a $500 million attempt to cover for the fact that she has just not been honest or trusthworthy on the most important issue of our time, Iraq. What Jim Webb showed after the State of the Union is that $500M can buy you many things, but it cannot buy you integrity and strength. It can't buy you voter trust. And as the campaign heats up, the Republican nominee is going to run from the Iraq war. We better make sure that we're not stuck with somebody like Hillary Clinton, who is supporting it.

[And now that DDUmmie Matt Stoller is done bemoaning the inevitable purchase by Hillary of the Democrat nomination, let us see what the other DDUmmies have to say...]

I'm surprised you guys didn't catch on quicker that her ad buys on the web were never intended to attract voters, but strictly to influence the MSM, so they can say how cool Hillary's "net" presence is. It's pretty clear Hillary went for web visits be it left or right blogs.. so that the MSM types will say she's so cool.... It must be nice to be able to waste money like that. when will Edwards /Obama combine efforts? It may be the only way..

[Sorry. NOTHING can stop the Hillary Money Machine.]

I have often thought since Saturday that Obama and Edwards need to put the individual things aside and tag team her. If they teamed up to get rid of the poison then they could resume the race and conduct it in a more civil manner.

[So those two lightweights are going to somehow stop Hillary? Don't make me laugh. Both will be steamrollered beneath the Hillary Money Machine.]

Great idea. Clinton is the worst likely nominee and the most formidable "bad Democrat" running. Let's beat her first.

[Your little popgun is no match for the Hillary Money Machine.]

She will never get my vote and it has everything to do with her position on the war.

[She doesn't need your pathetic vote since she has plenty of money to buy other votes.]

You are right on. I agree with what you said about HRC. She is all about herself, just like Bill was.

[The Nutroots are Revolting! They stink on ice!]

She needs to learn that you cannot buy a nomination if you are not liked.If she gets the nomination it will be a disaster and set the party back 20 years if it survives. She is poison to us. It needs to start with the media and making them learn that Hillary is not loved, our choice and that her inevitibility is in her head only.It needs to stop. The crowing her our queen makes me shudder for us. They need to stop listening to the HRC spin and start listening to us. And the truth.

[And you need to learn that she CAN buy the nomination no matter how unlovable she is.]

the grapevine indicates that she has the entire new york donor base on lockdown, and there's a weird hush-hush aspect to this. or at least there was a few weeks ago, before the announcement. there's a sense that big donors actually can't get out of donating to her. and it's working. donors are falling in line, since they don't want to be on the outs when the pay-to-play rules go into effect.

[Gee. Isn't it wonderful how McCain-Feingold diminished the effect of big money on politics?]

she's not of us, she's of another world.

[She's from the Planet Hillary.]

She is threatening the donors if they give a penny to anyone but her. However, Soros endorsed obama and doesn't care. Obama is getting the money from Chicago and Hollywood. Hillary is hoping to do a blackout on Chicago as well. However, don't know if our pol and donors would fall in line as they are quite independent and don't like mafia tactics. Hillary is trying to knock out the primaries completely. Shut it down is how I see it.I have heard that in the Senate they tried to talk her into Reids job so as not to run. the party doesn't want her to run at all and I agree.

[Too much competition for Kewpie Dolls on this DDUmmie thread.]

What I detest about her is she was dishonest on the biggest issue the US has had to deal with and continues to be dishonest and opportunistic. She has always seemed to have that chip on her shoulder like if her husband got elected, she deserves it since she is no less qualified and she had to put up with his shenanigans all these years. I don't like that entitlement attitude she seems to have.

[Another DDummie vying for a Kewpie Doll.]

There seem to be many reasons for disliking Hillary. For me it's not so much about Iraq or elitism as it is about her persona and how she will destroy the Democratic brand. Basically she is a cold, aloof, flip floping, unlikeable, stiff, antipopulist Senator from the Northeast. We could do better than that... Hillary is unelectable and would hurt our identity brand for a long time.

[You don't like the Hillary identity brand? How about this brand? Vilsack pickles.]

My feminism professors would tell you there's a difference between "woman" and "female". HRC is hierarchical, power-based, and seemingly emotionless. I don't care if she has ovaries -- she has built her operation and her power by and through maleness. As a feminist, I like John Edwards.

[That's because the Breck Girl is so feminine.]

Primary contests are largely determined by money. If you run out of cash by the end of Jan you can't compete. Of course HRC will want to get the New York money, she's their senator. Why should she help her opponents?

[But..but I thought McCain-Feingold was supposed to end all that influence of money on politics.]

What bothers me is it is all about Hillary - always has been. She was our senator in NY for 3 WEEKS when she announced for president. And she refused to admit that this is what she was going to do during the campaign!

[GASP! You mean that Hillary was actually acting deceptive?]

Hillary stands for absolutely nothing. Are high-level Democratic donors really that blind?

[No. They are expecting a return on their investment.]

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p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

The Man Who Made John Kerry Cry

(Note: This is a special edition of the DUmmie FUnnies so the normal format will be dispensed with. Although much of this material has been covered in the September 15, 2006 DUmmie FUnnies EDITION, the events of today make it imperative to enter this again into the historical record.)

"May I be the first to say 'Mr. President'?"---Bob Shrum, Nov. 2, 2004.

It was close. Oh, so agonizingly close. The "infallible" exit polls showed him to be the landslide winner and Bob Shrum had already pronounced him to be "Mr. President." Democrats were celebrating and all that needed to be done was to wait for the actual election results to formally ratify the inevitable outcome. But it was not to be. Despite coming close to winning, Kerry's brief taste of victory turned to ashes in his mouth. Still he could have won. Many pundits, both liberal and conservative have gone over that election with a fine tooth comb and yet NONE have yet discovered the real reason which ultimately led to Kerry's tearful political demise announced today.

This is a story about a man still obscured by the mists of history even though the events took place only a little over two years ago. This is about the man who almost single-handedly kept us from having to call (like Bob Shrum unfortunately did) John Kerry "Mr. President."

My own personal experience with the events that led to Kerry's electoral downfall began early one morning in the summer of 2004. I turned on the Steve Kane show here in South Florida on WNN radio promptly at 6:00 A.M. as I often do. The show's opening featured the voice of John Edwards saying, "If you have any question of what John Kerry is made of, just spend three minutes with the men who served with him..." This was followed by the voices of the Swift Boat vets talking about John Kerry not being honest and lying. This now familiar clip was put together by Brian Craig the co-host of the Steve Kane Show. Here is some of the background about how that clip ultimately came to be the most effective CAMPAIGN COMMERCIAL in political history as related by Nat Trayger who occasionally appears on WNN radio:


Before this election, I was channel surfing and I came upon a rebroadcast of a debate on C-Span. The debate had been originally aired in 1971 on the Dick Cavett Show. The opponents were two swift boat veterans, John Kerry and John O’Neill. The subject they debated, largely without interference from Mr. Cavett, was John Kerry’s public accusations concerning the alleged large number of war crimes committed by American soldiers. I watched and was fascinated by the obvious distaste and vitriol these men had for each other and I knew that there was political gold in them thar hills.

I sit in as a once a week guest on a radio show hosted by Steve Kane. The show broadcasts to Broward and Palm Beach County in Florida, the scene of electoral confusion and conflict during the 2000 election. On the show we discuss politics and social issues and we definitely lean conservative. I contacted the producer of the show, Brian Craig and he had also seen the debate and sensed what he had to do: Find John O’Neill.

...I informed Brian that John O’Neill was a lawyer in Texas and gave him the most up to date E mail address that I could find. Brian had also been tracking down John O’Neill and one of the first talk shows in the country to have John O’Neill and other swift boat veterans who opposed John Kerry was the Steve Kane Show. To our surprise they had many negative things to say not only about John Kerry’s anti war protests but his service also. These allegations became the focus of a national debate. Other local and national radio and television shows also began to interview the anti Kerry swift boat veterans.

...Senator John Edwards came to Fort Lauderdale and echoed the dominant theme of the Kerry campaign by stating “If you want to know about John Kerry, just spend three minutes with the men who served with him thirty years ago.” Brian Craig took Edwards statement as a challenge and played this statement followed by some of the negative comments that had been made on the Steve Kane Show by some of the swift boat veterans. Brian contacted the swift boat veterans who by now had organized and informed them of Edwards’ statement and his response to it. This suggestion was turned into the television ad that received so much national attention. Many analysts believe that the swift boat ads slowed Senator Kerry’s building of momentum.

And there you have the story about the man behind the most effective political commericial in history. Yes, the infamous commercial about the girl picking petals from a daisy leading to a nuclear countdown in the 1964 was also quite intense but it didn't change the outcome. It was merely overkill on the part of Lyndon Johnson and Bill Moyers since the Goldwater campaign was destined to lose no matter what that year. However, the Swift Boat commercial made all the difference in the 2004 campaign. Many have wondered why Kerry allowed weeks to go by without responding to the Swift Boat Vets For Truth commercial. The answer is simple. He didn't know what to say since the charges were true. Perhaps Kerry just hoped it would go away and be forgotten. That was not to be. The commercial that Brian Craig gave birth to was what ultimately led to Kerry's tears of today.

Ironically, I am not posting this because I am great buddies with Brian Craig. On the contrary, the few times I have called in to his show, I have been somewhat abused as an "agenda caller." I am sure if I called in tomorrow to tell him how I gave him credit for Kerry's downfall, I would again be accused of being an agenda or a chronic caller. But you know what? I don't care. I don't mind the abuse. Brian Craig can call me anything he wants but that's okay because at least he has kept all of us from having to suffer that arrogant mound of condescension known as John Kerry from ever becoming an occupant of the White House. And that MORE than balances out any names Brian might call me.

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