DUmmies Hilariously React to Maddow Trump Tax 'Revelation'

Oh how jubilant the DUmmies were last night when Rachel Maddow tweeted that she had a copy of Donald Trump's income tax returns. Finally, FINALLY they had the documentation that would quickly lead to the impeachment of President Trump. Or so they thought. After a few minutes of being glued to her 9 PM EDT show on MSNBC, horrible reality suddenly set in. Not only would Trump NOT be impeached but Maddow revealed that Trump paid a respectable $38 million in federal taxes on an income of $150 million. Sudden but absolutely HILARIOUS deflation occurred starting just several minutes into the show. Blast! Foiled again! There were several such DUmmie threads so let us start with this prematurely jubilant thread, Official Rachel Maddow Show Watch Party thread! So let us now watch the DUmmies celebrate the Trump income tax revelation before it actually happens in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that their mood sharply changes to bitter gloom soon after 9 PM, is in the [brackets]:

Official Rachel Maddow Show Watch Party thread!

[WOO! HOO! Let's all celebrate the imminent downfall of the TrumpenReich with Rachel Maddow and DUmmie bettyellen who posted this thread at 8:21 PM.]

I just ordered a bottle of whiskey.

[Freudenschade, baby! And now let us prematurely celebrate with the rest of her DUmmies...]

Please let there be something there. I really hate even getting my hopes up at this point, but.....

[Posted DUmmie JTFrog at 8:22 PM. Hey, don't worry. It's in the bag! Hee! Hee!]

I really hate even getting my hopes up at this point, but.....

[But...don't worry DUmmie LenaBaby61. It is now 8:27 PM and your Trump nightmare will soon be over. Hee! Hee!]

I may get some popcorn

[Could we have a victory drink to go with that?]

I'm making a whiskey on the rocks.

[Thank you DUmmie bettyellen. It is now 8:54 PM. Just minutes to go until the earth shaking revelation.]

I'm so excited. We've been waiting for this - ANY tax news really.

[Posted DUmmie theglammistress at 8:55 PM.]

Hope this is not a trap, these could be released by Benedict Donald himself !!

[Posted DUmmie uponit7771 at 9:03 PM as Maddow was still doing the big buildup before entering Al Capone's vault.]

Rachel seems nervous Or she is trying to hold back her emotions?

[It couldn't be that she knows she is about to present a scam. Naw! It just couldn't be that.]

She said her and the guy who passed them to her will be going into detail...

[Posted expectant DUmmie betsyellen at 9:06 PM while sipping her victory whiskey on the rocks.]

she's setting it up nicely (I hope)

[9:14 PM and do I detect a slight note of skepticism from DUmmie itsrobert]

Long overture. Nothing new yet, nine minutes in. She is teasing, I think, showing how the tax records could enlighten us regarding many of the sweet deals that we already know about.

[Have patience DUmmie Baitball Blogger. You are about to be verrrry surprised.

She's explaining the probable Russian money laundering ....

[Keep stretching it out, Rachel before the BIG surprise!]

She is brilliant at setting the stage for maximum impact.

[Posted DUmmie Amaryllis at 9:12 PM.]

Right now she's summarizing Benedict Donald's nasty news... SMART, she's got an audience tonight ... and might as well go through some of the hard evidence

[Posted DUmmie uponit7771 at 9:14 PM, shortly before the evidence becomes very hard for him to accept.]

She doesn't sound like she's winging it. But, she does seem like she's building up to something. She keeps asking questions and concluding that the tax returns might be able to provide information.

[Panted the anxious DUmmie Baitball Blogger at 9:15 PM who can already taste Trump blood.]

This is a YUGE NOTHINGBURGER!

[Posted DUmmie Kaotic at 9:26 PM as the horrible truth is finally revealed]

I think the White Houses indignation on this return is fake. I think Donald released them. After all, it showed he did pay millions of taxes. IMHO. No evidence, just a hunch.

[Blubbered DUmmie riversedge at 9:36 PM in reaction to the painful truth.]

Big zero. No useful information.

[DUmmie oberliner received that revelation at 9:27 PM.]

this return makes Trump look good actually. Why only 2 pages? If you have the return to leak you would leak the WHOLE return. Nothing in this return makes him look bad...it quiets the angry mob plus he get's to bash the dishonest media for leaking it.

[Sudden insight from DUmmie Kaotic again at 9:45 PM.]

Merry Fitzmas

[Freudenschade, baby! ...Following this Freudenschade moment, the recriminations against Maddow began in DUmmieland such as this thread, donnie is the clear and overwhelming winner in this latest tax release.]

the tax returns reveal virtually nothing we didn't already know. ok, he's a beneficiary of amt. not sure that's news or not, there are certainly plenty of loopholes he takes advantage of. but he wins.

[WINNING!!! Winning and winning and winning so much that we beg President Trump to stop winning...but he won't.]

nothing illegal, nothing incriminating

[Drat! Foiled again! ...Finally Maddow is accused of the worst thought crime ever in Could Rachel actually be a republican?]

BREAKING NEWS!! BREAKING NEWS!!!!! BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!

WE HAVE TRUMP TAXES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And we all get excited, wow, they must have evidence that he paid nothing, they must have something that shows he avoid paying his fare share.

There must be something juicy here.

So we wait wait and wait.

And the breaking news was that he actually paid $38 MILLION in tax.

My first reaction was, "Wow that is Huge"

The repugs reaction, would probably be the same.

I guarantee you the reaction of the independents, would've been....

"WOW THATS PRETTY STEEP"

Even Democrats are thinking "Wow he paid $38 Million in taxes????"

So why did Rachel make such a huge huge deal of it, before hand and is she in someway related to Tom Arnold?

[Thank you, DUmmie brettdale, for hilariously summing up extreme DUmmie gullibility. ...And now on to the other angry DUmmies upset at being so easily conned by Maddow.]

Her mistake was in hyping it 90 minutes beforehand on twitter....when in fact, she had nothing of real value.

[Which again prematurely caused the DUmmies to break out the victory champagne.]

This was a huge miss.

[This was a huge understatement.]

Rachel is just a slave to ratings like everyone else on TV news

[Which is why she promoted her version of opening Al Capone's vault.]

Basically, Cheeto set Rachel up and she fell for it hook, line and sinker. Cheeto is stupid but he has more than displayed when it comes to playing the media for a fool, he's well tasked at how to do so. Maybe next time, Rachel will ask more questions before running straight to the camera, reading a script. She got played on this one and was the only news program in the 9 pm ET hour to lead with this "leaked" story like it was for real, for real #BreakingNews.

[Cheeto 1, Rachel 0.]

Trump Speech Sends DUmmies Into Deep Angry Depression

It is the worst of times. It is the worst of times. Early last November the DUmmies were absolutely SURE that Donald Trump would lose the election. In fact they even LOOKING FORWARD TO RUBBING IT IN. That's how sure they were. And then the election came and...utter shock. However, it wasn't until Trump's speech last night to a joint session of Congress when it really sunk in that Trump is HERE TO STAY and they have to endure him until January 20, 2025. In fact February 28, 2017 is already being called "The Night the Democrat Party Died." That prospect has sent them into a deep angry depression reflected in the very title of this thread, I f***ing hate him. Their helpless rage is also fueled by the knowledge they won't admit aloud...yet: the Democrat party is THROUGH. They are in the process of self-marginalization that by the end of the Trump Era they will go the way of the Whigs. I look for the Democrats to go full Trotsky after suffering yuuuuge losses in the 2018 midterms and after the 2020 election...hello Whigs! So let us now watch the DUmmies rage helplessly in a deep, deep funk in Bolshevik Red while the the commentary of your humble correspondent, enjoying the self-destruction of what will soon become the FORMER Democrat party, is in the [brackets]:

I f***ing hate him.

[Of course. Donald Trump has completely DESTROYED your world. You thought that Hillary's "certain" victory would mean the ultimate victory for leftwing lunacy in America and now the left is shattered. The Democrats soon to become the new Whigs.]

I hate him with the white hot passion of a thousand suns. I'm sorry DU. I try not to hate but my fury and anger are fierce and undeniable. I found myself wishing his head would explode on camera.

[May I relay your thoughts to the Secret Service, DUmmie bunnies? I repeat DUmmie bunnies. Oh, you're just one letter away from the FUnniest blog on the web.]

I f***ing hate hate him.

[Hate week in DUmmieland...to be extended for almost 8 years.]

Edit: now that it's the next day and I've had some time to think... yep. Still hate him. Glad I'm not alone. I'd lose my shit if not for this place.

[Are you sure? Have you checked your diaper? Now on to the other utterly depressed and incurably bitter DUmmies...]

You're in good company.

[Correct. All the rest of the DUmmies are now in a state of helpless rage.]

I was screaming at my puter. Mr. Bunnies was not impressed. I just couldn't f***ing take it. Lies lies lies. Omg.

[It's going to last until 1/20/2025 so enjoy, DUmmie BUnnies.]

My grand-dog luna was worried about me as I yelled at the TV!

[As with his tic, your grand-dog is also a luna-tic.]

I watched re runs of old sitcoms. I loathe this ugly, ignorant, repulsive slimebag. My doctor has upped my blood pressure medications, since my bp spiked over this fiasco. I disliked W, but tRump is a total bottom of the barrel scumbag. The man is seriously mentally challenged.

[If you don't get a heart attack first, the bile in your stomach will disolve you at the waist.]

I can feel it eating at me. The anger is just so goddamn strong. I didn't want to watch it but I'm a politics junkie so I feel like I didn't have a choice. As it went on, the hate justice compounded. I'm not optimistic about the near future.

[Psst! DUmmie BUnnies. You also shouldn't be optimistic about the distant future since 1/20/2025 will mark the inauguration of President Pence.]

A friend in the clergy joked about "taking one for the team" she despises him so much.

[Is she in the First Church of Goddess Gaia?]

I can't stand the sight of him or the sound of his voice. He enrages me! I can literally feel my blood pressure rise whenever I see him. I become physically sick to my stomach.

[Highly acidic bile does that to you.]

It's only been a month. Worst case is 4 more years of this shit. What the f**k are the sane of us supposed to do?

[Wrong. Worst case for you is the most LIKELY case: 8 more years.]

Hate+Anger equals motivation. Not entirely a bad thing.

[Hate+Anger equals comedy. An entirely hilarious thing.]

I feel like a hostage. I swear, every day I wake up in the morning with the vague feeling that "surely this ISN'T happening." "This is gotta be a bad dream." "This CAN'T actually be happening." Sadly, it IS.

[Think of yourself as living inside a computer simulation entirely designed for the amusement of DUmmie FUnnies readers.]

Never have I so violently disliked a human being as I do this one (I guess he's human). I refuse to hear his voice. I refuse to watch his speeches. I just read a mystery novel tonight and then checked in here to find out what lies and atrocities he's telling the world now. I don't even like seeing his picture, but that's unavoidable. My best friend and I refuse to even use his name. And here I am a Buddhist. He's forcing me to go back to square one in my spiritual practice. I guess that's the best I can say for him, and I don't even feel like saying that.

[It's going to be a fun EIGHT years for you.]

The night of the election night was perhaps the worst night of my life. Now Trump is president, I fear for the future of every life on this planet. I don't think I could survive four years.

[The Heaven's Gate mothership will be waiting for you on Election Night 2020.]

Yes, he brings a hate from my inner being I didn't even realize could happen. At 72 years old, I've witnessed a lot of people and events that have brought forth a feeling of 'hate', but nothing compares to this. If life and the very planet itself lives through his tyranny, we'll never be the same again. I have never really feared turning on the so-called 'news', but I haven't watched any t.v. since Nov. 8, except the Animal Planet and my calming Music Choice channel. My heart just aches for those that will be harmed far more than me and am thankful that I'm almost out of here.

[Another DUmmie with a reservation for the Heaven's Gate mothership.]

I thought my anger would abate, but it hasn't. Not even a little bit. It is getting stronger.

[Every day. In every little way. My derangement grows stronger and stronger.]