Tuesday, September 30, 2008

"Two more days until martial law"

Only two more days. Two more days until army troops sweep in to haul the DUmmies off to Walmart Detention Centers. Think I'm kidding? Then check out this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Two more days until martial law." Personally I think the author, DUmmie mynameisdane, is a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL. And apparently many DUmmies don't take him seriously either. So let this DUFU edition be an example on how NOT to be a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! I remember over a year ago when LFTs were touting Hillary. Wrong move. A true DUmmie back then HATED Hillary (they still do) so it was an obvious LFT giveaway. Oh, and do try to build up over over a thousand DUmmieland posts. That's another LFT giveaway. You can do so by posting away in the DUmmie Lounge commenting on movies or TV shows. See, a really successful LFT does it when he leaves absolutely NO TRACE that he is an LFT. I've been around for over 4 years there and have not had the slightest suspicion cast upon me that I was an LFT. So let us now watch an LFT attempt to get the DUmmies all excited about a military takeover in a couple of days in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, whose DUmmie screen name is guesswho, is in the [brackets]:

Two more days until martial law

[Get ready for the Walmart Detention Centers!]

In less than forty-eight hours, an active military unit will be deployed domestically for the first time. I know this story received some chatter here at DU around the beginning of September, but I think we should start the rattle again now that the policy is going into effect. Let's get the word out there. These troops were in the hell we once referred to as Iraq for the better part of three years. I doubt that "crowd control" is in their nature. We can't let this story get buried beneath economic and election news. Make no mistake about it: this is martial law. We need to question both the timing and the reasoning behind this ridiculous abuse of power. Is it a preparation for election theft? Is the economy going to get so bad that people are expected to march through the streets? Why is the first brigade to be deployed in Iraq three separate times being handed the responsibilities of the local authorities. Bush is wagging his dick in our faces one last time. Demand answers.

[One big giveaway that this is a LFT is that he spelled "martial" correctly. You really do need learn to spell it as "marshal."]

I don't want the shit we had to deal with here in Minneapolis/St. Paul to be exported to the rest of you. Please make some noise. You know the media will do their damnedest not to touch this.

[Perhaps not but it is being featured in the DUmmie FUnnies so count your blessings. Now on to the other DUmmies...]

I'm not understanding how that many troops is gonna do...well, anything. It's not even enough to have like 1 troop in every city over like 50,000.

[Yeah. A whole Army brigade is expected to take over the country. But let us continue with the manufactured paranoia...]

one of their duties is "crowd control" if the brigade is transported to the location of a protest or march, I assure you there is plenty that they can do.

[Ridiculously claimed the LFT.]

Particularly with that microwave emitter device that heats up your skin is. deployed on innocent protesters. And we though holding a cellphone next to your head was cancer causing.

[Claimed another obvious LFT.]

You only have to brutally crush a couple demonstrations to send a message. I think they're only there in case of a revolution though.

[Claimed an authentic DUmmie who was suckered by the LFTs.]

I'll bet you $1000 right now that you're wrong. If you're going to post chicken little stuff like this, you should have no problem backing it up. Really, is this paranoid shit necessary?

[Not when the authentic DUmmie postings are hilarious enough.]

Trying to incite panic..thanks.

[More like trying to incite laughter.]

I've lived 25 years under marital law

[An authentic DUmmie post that is much more hilarious than the fake posts.]

Those 4,000 troops are going to load us all into concentration camps.

[A sarcastic reply but one which is believed by many DUmmies.]

If I could change my subject title, I would.

[Too late...and your tombstoning is imminent.]

Color me terrified... Seriously... martial law in TWO DAYS? Just exactly what do you think these 4,000 troops can do in a country the size of America? I got to tell you - if they all show up in Idaho they will be both outmanned AND outgunned. You obviously have no idea what kind of shit the good old boys around here have buried in their back yards...

[See, a professional LFT would have had the DUmmies completely on the hook but this LFT has lost them from the get-go.]

I've admitted time and time again throughout this thread that using the words "martial law" in the OP was hyperbolic. This is important enough that it doesn't need to be sexed up like that. Don't you believe, ignoring my usage of those two words, that this is a serious issue that deserves more press? No, I don't think that this force of a few thousand soldiers will subdue an entire nation. Not at all. Martial Law was the wrong term. But could this force have great influence over a large civilian crowd involved in a protest of sorts--in a word, yes. At the RNC, we witnessed an excessive police force brutalizing and jailing around a thousand civilians (many peaceful protesters, participating in permitted marches). But I have no doubt in my mind that this is a step in the direction of martial law, albeit a small but significant one. I totally jumped the shark using that phrase, but my original point stands. People need to know about this.

[Don't even bother trying to talk your way out of it. Best thing to do now is to tombstone yourself and then return to DUmmieland under a new name and more professional LFT attitude.]

Replace ur tin foil hat, the black helicopters are getting thru

[Stated another LFT trying to "pass." Hmmm... Perhaps I should write an LFT training manual called "DUmb Like Me" to give instructions on how to pass as an authentic DUmmie.]

Monday, September 29, 2008

Reagan Derangement Syndrome In DUmmieland

The DUmmies and the left still haven't gotten over Ronald Reagan as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "I have waited 28 years to watch these fuckers crawl..." In addition to suffering from incredible rage against Reagan, you can also see the DUmmie revenge fantasies against conservatives and Republicans should their Obamassiah win in November. Think I was exaggerating about my frequent references to DUmmie Chekhist squads liquidating EVIL conservatives? Well read on. So let us now watch the DUmmies rail against Reagan in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent saying "There you go again," is in the [brackets]:

I have waited 28 years to watch these f*ckers crawl...

[Posted the DUmmie, full of revenge fantasies...]

On Election night, 1980, I called my father of blessed memory and asked him, "Dad, what are we gonna do?"

[Crawl into your basement and await the arrival of the Obamassiah in 1988.]

I was a few months out of dental school with loans and facing a fascist Reagan-state, and scared to death of what the future would hold. My father, a man of great practical and historic wisdom replied, "What you're going to do is you're going to get up in the morning, shower, dress, and go to work. You're going to eat your meals, you're going to date your girlfriend, you're going to go down to the Jersey Shore for weekends in the summers. And you're going to wait. You're going to watch and wait for possibly a very long time, and someday, these bastards will get their just desserts. They call for less government...we'll see just how long the system can run on full throttle cronyism before it collapses."

[Son, you need to put your brain into hibernation for the next 28 years.]

Well, it didn't occur in his lifetime, and I miss having him and my Mom to talk to about all this...as I once mentioned, they sat shiva for 50 years following Adlai's loss in 1952, but this is the fate of the Progressive.

[The fate of Obama is to have the shiv-a shoved into his back by the Clintons.]

So it is now about time for the chickens to come home to roost. We are watching the death of the insane movement - it is still gasping and choking for air, and idiots like Limbaugh still spew, but soon we may hear the death-rattle in the throat of the beast.

[I sure hope you have your Guy Fawkes costume on order so that it will be ready for you on November 5.]

From my lips to God's ear.

[From your lips to Li'l Beaver's ear. And now to hear from the other Reagan Derangement Syndrome DUmmies...]

I still remember my mother spitting at the T.v. when Reagan won.

[Did she barf on her shoes when Bush won?]

I'm gonna enjoy watching these f*ckers self-destruct right before our eyes.

[Just like they did in 2004? Hee! Hee!]

I was a few months to graduating from Art School we played German beer hall music and marched around my friends kitchen in parody of the fascism we perceived. To keep from crying. The dirty dealing with the hostage crisis and the contras was so evident.

[This time all you will be donning Guy Fawkes costumes.]

I've thought of what I'd do the night of the election: get drunk, scream, laugh, cry, dance in the streets when the nightmare is finally broken.

[I'm thinking you will be doing all of the above except laughing and dancing.]

If this sequence of events doesn't cause the Republican party to go the way of the Whigs, then I hold little hope for our survival as a nation.

[No Whig for Biden. Just hair plugs will do.]

I want them gone. Not to prison but sentenced and for them to be forced to walk into a crowd of people they victimized ALONE..Soon their bodies would just ripped apart by the furious mob.I hate them.If they want to be America's Mussolini's let them DIE like Mussolini did than.I want them and their cronies and all their ruthless kind to be put to an end forever.Prison is too kind for some psychopaths.

[Um...speaking of psychopaths...]

I hope we Americans have the balls to jail the criminals for a long, long time.

[That's what Plugs Biden said until he claimed he never said it.]

It is difficult to comprehend what has taken place in the last 28 years. The future sure hasn't turned out how I envisioned it as a young pre-Reagan adult.

[You envisioned this as a soviet socialist America run by commissars. Sorry things didn't work out as planned.]

Just about as curious for the current 'October Surprise.'

[Hmmm... Could the current 'October Surprise' be the revelation of a Joe Biden video that shows him as mentally unstable to an extreme degree? We shall see. Hee! Hee!]

I hope your words find their way to God's Ear. I am yearning for the day they finally get their comeuppance. A whole slew of them ought to be in jail for a LONG time. They are responsible for a world of hurt.

[And your's going to be in a world of hurt after watching a certain Joe Biden video. Hee! Hee!]

I Remember That Election So Clear I Was Just 21 And It Was My First Vote. I had eloped that March with an F-14 pilot from Miramar CA (really DUMB ASS move) and we were watching the Tee-Vee at one of the fighter jocks homes. There was a lot of whooping it up and carrying it on. Me I went into the bathroom and cried. I had cast my first vote for Carter and I knew Ronnie was gonna kill our American dream. Sitting on the toilet and sobbing at 21, please make it OK now. My heart has been broken for years over this.

[We have a toilet seat reservation for you for your Joe Biden video viewing. Hee! Hee!]

I remember that election well... it was my first. I thought the world was going to end when he won.

[It did end according to the liberal propaganda flick, "The Day After."]

Time to bury these f*ckers.

[Feel the love!]

I want every abusive greedy,manipulative,evil hearted,f*cking psychopath authoritarian piece of shit GONE. Every Last One. I HATE them.

[We just put on on the Post-Election watch list. No razor blades to be allowed into your ward.]

These bastards are going to hang them selves, and they deserve every bit of it.

[Remember, Hillary is our Ace In the Hole.]

I'm not one for schadenfruede...

[So you'll just have to settle for freudenschade...]

I want to believe there will be something standing when these sons-of-bitches finally flip over a losing hand.

[I'm holding a Joe Biden royal flush. Hee! Hee!]

I'm very depressed about the future. Can anyone offer some hope?

[A very entertaining Joe Biden video is sure to boost your spirits. Hee! Hee!]

Into the dustbin of history with you Reagan and all your fascist repukilcan kind. THE REPUKLICAN PARTY MUST DIE.

[Or this DUmmie will continue to remain institutionalized with this butterfly net.]

I couldn't sleep for days after Reagan was elected. Watching all the ensuing right wing glee was torture.

[Then you better keep your TV set off on election day, November 5.]

I'll never forget being in my high school's library when they announced the assassination attempt on Reagan. A low rumble of cheering burst throughout the building from a school that held over four thousand school kids.

[And that was the only time in your high school career when you got to be a cheerleader.]

Friday, September 26, 2008

Drama Queen Tree Huggers

I usually post videos in the DUmmie FUnnies on weekends or late at night. However, for this VIDEO I have to make an exception because it is probably the FUnniest video I have ever seen on YouTube. It shows a bunch of tree huggers who belong to the Earth First eco group in the North Carolina forest (most likely these are hippies who live in Asheville) mourning over trees. And they don't just shed a few tears. They are flat out bawling. Their Drama Queen antics are absolutely hilarious! And that hippie chick waxing poetic over a rock is a nice touch. This video has a big comedic finale with a fantastic emotional outburst for your entertainment.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Bill Clinton Appreciation Edition

I never thought I would have a DUFU edition with this title but here it is: "Bill Clinton Appreciation Edition." I just love how Bill and Hillary are just screwing over Barack Obama. Recently Bill said he wouldn't be able to start campaigning for Obama until after October 10 out of RESPECT for the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur. What a hoot! And after October 10, I wouldn't be surprised if Bill announces that he won't be able to campaign for Barack until after Halloween out of respect for Wiccans. Meanwhile Bill and Hill are quietly working in the background with the help of their buddy, Fast Eddie, to cause Barack to lose of Pennsylvania. And the latest is this statement from Bill that John McCain did not delay the debate because he was scared of Obama since he actually wanted more debates. This is what has the DUmmies in an uproar as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Bill Clinton: Well, we know McCain did not postpone the debate because he was scared to debate Obama." So let us now watch the DUmmies blast Bill Clinton for screwing Obama in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, enjoying watching Team Clinton putting the shiv into Barack's back, is in the [barackets]:

Bill Clinton: Well, we know McCain did not postpone the debate because he was scared to debate Obama.

[Hee! Hee! GO BILL!!!]

SHUT THE HELL UP BILL!!! I can't stand his ass anymore. I can't wait to see his damn face once Obama wins. Oh and he said the debates should be cancelled if both candidates agree to it. WHATEVER!

[Don't forget to thank the Clintons if Obama loses on Nov. 5.]

Bill Clinton holds a deep jealousy of Barack Obama.

[Yes, he us completely jealous of how well Barack can speak off the cuff away from the teleprompter.]

Yup! He says a couple of positive things about him but can't resist throwing a few jabs in there. He is so jealous that he can't see straight. The democratic party was supposed to be is party and they turned on him by siding with Barack.

[And so now the Clintons are turning on Barack. Live with it.]

I think you're right. I think he can't stand that Obama may end up a more popular and successful president.

[Assuming that Barack passes a "little" hurdle like the Nov. 5 election and I think the Clintons will have a say about that. Hee! Hee!]

yep. bill is really not helping Obama. his agenda is clearly to help McCain and hurt Obama tough shit for bill that it won't work. Despite what the apologists say, bill richly deserves the approprium of all real democrats.

[Rest easy, DUmmie. Bill Clinton will have absolutely no effect on the election outcome. Hee! Hee!]

Bill on Today: 'Both of them have gone out of their way to not let this get involved with politics.' Are you f*cking kidding me! McCain's actions regarding suspending his campaign and delaying the debate are pure politics, cynical politics. Tom Brokaw said yesterday, in response to McCain's latest moves, that McCain loved 'ambushes'--and, so far, they had worked for him.

[Bill also loves ambushes. Hee! Hee!]

Bill Clinton is just a big time asshole.

[I can't wait to see this DUmmie explode on the topic of Bill Clinton after the election.]

Bill Clinton...what a blessing.

true enough. he's a blessing for McCain and Palin and an irritant for Obama.

[Gee, maybe Barack could have at least PRETENDED to consider Hillary for Veep. I guess he just lacks such necessary political skills. Oh, and what happened to all that money that Barack promised to help pay off Hillary's campaign debts?]

the reality is that his presidency was All About Bill, he screwed interns and progressive values with equal abandon, and he ushered in Republican control of all three brances of the government.

[And now Bill is screwing Barack.]

Is anyone keeping track of all Bill Clinton's glib attempts at sabotage?

[Check the DUmmie FUnnies.]

Keep him away! I couldn't believe his response! Well I can, but he isn't even helping his reputation with democrats at all. Maybe he is suffering from dementia as he gets older, just like McCain.

[No! No! We want to hear more from Bill. ENCORE!!!]

He really does like McCain though doesn't he.

[And he's taken quite a shine for Sarah.]

After watching several of them, I definitely think he's subtly (?) dissing Obama in these appearances; certainly pumping up McCain if nothing else.
To what end, I wonder? For the people who HATE him (hardcore right-wingers), maybe it will prevent them voting for McCain...they don't like the guy anyway. Anything/anyone Clinton DOES like repulses them. Maybe it will keep some of the right-wingers home. I don't necessarily think that's BC's intention, but it may be a result.

[Keep wishing upon a star, Jimminy Cricket.]

It would be so beautiful if Bill Clinton could set his ambitions aside and fully join forces with Obama. What heights we could reach if those two were buddies? Won't happen.

[Nope. Won't happen. Obama's gotta go so Hill can be the nominee in 2012.]

To what end? McCain in 208 means a chance for Hillary in 2012. PUMA!

[And that DUmmie just won himself a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment (except for writing "208") of mental clarity!]

What "Jewish Holidays" was he talking about on Larry King,He said he would campaign for Obama after. The Jewish Holidays, WTF message is he trying to send. This is a man that knows exactly what his words are and mean.

[Bill is going to passover campaigning for Obama until after Passover.]

He seems to always have some reason to delay campaigning for Obama.

[Bill will start campaigning for Barack in just 24 business hours.]

What? Didn't you know that Bill is a devout Jew. How can he possibly campaing during Jewish holidays?

[Of course. And Monica performed the circumcision on him.]

I think he;s referring to Rosh Hashanah which begins Sept 29th this year so why can't devout little bill campaign for Obama before then? What a disingenuous little creep.

[Please don't Rosh him. He will be ready in just 24 business hours.]

Bill Clinton is a black hole that runs on egotism. I am so sick of tired, old act. Don't go away mad, Bill. Just go away.

[No, no. Stick around.]

Hey Bill, if Obama loses in November, I'm not voting for Hillary in 2012! Got it? No way, no how, no Hill!

[Hill WILL be your 2012 nominee. Get used to it.]

Bill is smart and he is right.


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

DUmmie Drops Political Note Into Church Collection Basket

Let's see. Barack Obama's pastor, before he was thrown under the bus, was Jeremiah Wright who regular railed against America. A favorite priest of the Left is Father Pfleger, the highly politicized NUtcase who has no problems preaching politics from the pulpit. So now some DUmmie is OUTRAGED when he thinks his church is injecting politics into its sermons as you can see in this THREAD titled, "I dropped this note into the collection basket at my Mom's church today." So what does this title tell us? It tells us that it was his MOM's church which means this DUmmie was just tagging along looking for a confrontation. Since he mentioned same-sex marriage and planned parenthood in the note, this most likely means he interpreted some biblical reading about Sodom and Gomorrah or sanctity of life to be "political." We don't really know since this DUmmie never tells us what specifically was preached that so offended him. However, we are sure this is a typical chip-on-the-shoulder DUmmie going out of his way to look for a confrontation. So let us now watch the DUmmies hypocritically moan about politics in the pulpit in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, figuring it was the first time in his life that this DUmmie dropped anything into a church collection basket, is in the [brackets]:

I dropped this note into the collection basket at my Mom's church today

[First time you dropped anything into a church collection basket.]

"You do not have the right to make political statements during the Mass. A major tenet of the United States Constitution is separation of church and state, and you have crossed that clearly defined boundary of separation. Your tax-exempt status is at risk. The church does not have the right to tell parishoners how to vote, or even what criteria to use when voting. This is not the first time this has happened at (-name of church-) If this continues, you will be facing a lawsuit challenging your tax-exempt status. For now, we have decided to donate all the money we would have donated to (-name of church-) in the next 2 months to the No on 8 campaign, to reflect our support of same-sex marriage. After that, we will permanently donate all money that we would have donated to the Mission to Planned Parenthood instead. (-name of church-) will not get any of our money, ever again.

[Think this DUmmie would drop such a note into the collection basket of Rev. Wright's church? BTW, note that this DUmmie was short on the SPECIFICS of what was actually preached. Maybe the Sodom and Gommorah bit offended him.]

I liked it and I'm not even Catholic! Actually, I'm a Luciferian Satanist but there was somethinbg about the beauty of the language that always appealed.

[First Luciferian Satanist Coven or Second Luciferian Satanist Coven?]

Turn them into the IRS

[Chanted a member of the Obama Turbos.]

A note in the collection basket is a great idea. I hope others will follow suit at churches where this happens.

[Why don't you just drop Obama campaign material into church collection baskets so as to alienate the entire flock?]

AND then contact the IRS to complain about politicking in church and asking for an investigation. If enough people from a given church did this, the IRS might actually investigate and pull that tax-exempt status--especially if we win the presidency and larger majorities in both houses of Congress.

[Of course, leftwing churches such as the one Obama used to attend will get an exemption from this rule.]

Did they actually say to vote for mccain?

[A DUmmie asked the DUmmie author of this thread.]

The one old priest that was making political comments last February right before the presidential primary here in California was back again. I dropped a similar note in the basket last February. Then a few weeks ago he was there again. He prefaced his comments with "Now, I may get in trouble for this, but..." and there were a few scattered giggles. Then he started talking about the recent Saddleback thing where that pastor interviewed McCain and Obama separately. So maybe that "I may get in trouble" comment was a result of someone telling all the priests to not make political remarks, maybe not. I don't know and I have no way of knowing.

[Note how the question was NOT answered which really means: No, the priest did NOT say to vote for McCain.]

Oh brother, no wonder I have experienced several "crises of faith" ... I love Catholicism, but not what the existing patriarchal system has done to this beautiful faith.

[Sorry. Hippie communes of the '60s were never part of that faith.]

What, exactly, was said?

[You won't get a direct answer to that question from the note-dropping DUmmie.]

I'm just taking my Mom because she's 89 and can't make it there on my own.

[So the truth comes out from the note-dropping DUmmie. He was only at that church because he had to take his mother there. Once there, he had to let his inner loon out.]

I'm haven't been a Catholic since college, but sometimes take my elderly mother when my father is too sick to attend. I just tune it all out.

[That's what the note-dropping DUmmie did. He just tuned it all out except for a small portion that he could fantasize was political. In fact, no matter what was said in the pulpit would be interpreted as political by this DUmmie.]

But true, most Catholics who support choice - even if they themselves believe abortion is terrible and not just a "simple" choice - and believe that gays have a right to love who they love without being called horrible names or being targeted for harassment and murder.... most of the Catholics who believe these things are recovering Catholics in search of a place to belong.

[Try the Luciferian Satanist Coven.]

Don't forget to sue all the churches that teach the social gospel or liberation theology or invite Dems to speak etc


Thanks for the offer, but I don't believe in any religion. In fact I belive that God hates religion. I only take my 89-year-old Mom to church because she can't get there otherwise.

[So you weren't going to drop money in the first place. Instead you dropped a political note into the collection basket of a church you don't believe in.]

Put a McCain sign on the front lawn of the church, take a photo, and send it to the media and the IRS. That "evidence" added to enough complaints could have an effect. Probably not in time for this election, but for the future.

[Great idea. Falsely frame the church by planting fake evidence.]

For you to threaten the church's income, and rudely at that, reflects a great deal of intolerance on your part. No sensible lawyer is going to take up a case that's suing a church for attempting to politically persuade its congregation. Most people have the sense to leave if they don't like something. Churches rely on donations for sustainability, by threatening to take away their tax exemption its almost as if you're snubbing this particular church for freedom of speech, which is another major tenet of the United States Constitution.


Monday, September 22, 2008

"are you working on Nov. 5?"

The DUmmies have already breaking out their Freudenschade champagne bottles and are celebrating Obama's victory in November as you can see in the THREAD titled, "are you working on Nov. 5?" I just don't have the heart to tell them that Hillary is already quietly sticking the shiv into Barack's back, especially in Pennsylvania, in order to assure that he goes down in order to pave the way for Her Thighness in 2012. But let us not discourage the DUmmies from celebrating while their Messiah is being backstabbed. So we now join the DUmmies popping open their champagne bottles in Bolshevik Red while your humble correspondent, noting that the only options open for DUmmies in the next election will be Hillary or the rubber room, is in the [barackets]:

are you working on Nov. 5?

[No. Election Day is a good day to take off from work.]

I think I'm taking the day off to celebrate!

[Why wait? There is a big sale on Freudenschade victory champagne.]

HELL NO. I work with fundies. I need to see them suffer. Sadistic? You bet your ass. I can't wait to feast on their sorrow.

[Be sure to show up at work that day. Those fundies might be the ones to do the feasting. Hee! Hee!]

I'm taking off that day and Nov 4 to help with gotv

[Better to take off on Nov. 4 and rest up for the next day when you need to gotv.]

As a student teacher, I have no choice. But I hopefully will be
celebrating with my students!

[FUneral parties are FUn!]

No, I'll be in Cannes. Hopefully running up and down the Promenade next to the beach in my Obama/Biden gear making a total ASS out of myself!!!

[How about running straight into the sea that day to permanently drown out your sorrows...thanx to Hillary.]

May I make a suggestion as to where to eat your celebratory dinner? Up the road apiece, to the Chateau Eza, in Eze. If possible, outside, with Cannes in the slight distance.

[Mediterranean crow is simply delish!]

Both my husband and I asked for 11/5 off weeks ago. We decided regarless of which way it went, we'd be hung-over.

[Prepare for a Hillary Hangover.]

I am sure DU will be on in the background and checking in from the party..and on the 5th, just going to take a day to be happy and breathe the fresh air of change !

[Nominee-In-Waiting Hillary will certainly be a fresh air of change.]

I will be at the polls at 7 in the morning.. not as a pollworker, but just to be with all my neighbors as we smoosh together with our cups of coffee,standing in line, catching up with each other about family matters and celebrating being able to vote for Barack Obama. My party starts early

[Freudenschade, baby!]

We'll be treating it like a holiday - bbq outside, have a picnic PARTAY!

[Barbequed crow. YUmmie!]

I look forward to Obama taking office so that I can have a job soon

[Good news! Hillary will be hiring for her 2012 campaign offices on Nov. 5]

I'm working now trying to help get Obama elected. I'm celebrating bigtime. BIGTIME, baby!

[Meanwhile, Hillary working silently in the background, is... ah, why spoil the DUmmie party mood? Yes, enjoy your Freudenschade pre-victory party.]

I'm taking that day off because I will be hungover from celebrating Obama's win.

[Remember. No need to actually work for victory since it is already a done deal. Just ask Hillary. Hee! Hee!]

Nope! going over to Fort lauderdale to do some 'celebrating'

[My neighborhood. I'll be sure to hand you a Hillary 2012 button.]

can't wait to see the Repugs faces when we win. Should we lose, I won't go to work. I think I'm throwing in the towel on a lot of things.

[I'm thinking many DUmmies will be throwing in the towel on life itself.]

I have a lab on that day

[Me too. It's called Dissecting DUmmies.]

Saturday, September 20, 2008

"Bill Clinton Likes Palin's Political Instinct"

The Democrats have a problem. Actually, they have quite a few problems, but one of their biggest problems comes in the form of Bill Clinton. Bill's not happy these days. His wife Hillary was denied the party's nomination for the presidential election.

Now, most politicians, Democrat or Republican would dust themselves off and campaign hard for the chosen candidate. Bill and Hillary have been doing that, but at times it almost seems they are campaigning for the other side as you can see in this DUmmie 
THREAD titled "Bill Clinton Likes Palin's Political Instinct."

This is a BIG problem. Bill Clinton is a former-two term Democrat president. If he wants to talk, they pretty much have to let him. If he wants to subtly undermine Obama's campaign, there's not a lot they can do about it.

Let's now watch the DUmmies go crazy over remarks of the former Rapist-in-Chief in Bolshevik red while the comments of your humble guest correspondent, Paul Heinzman, are in the [brackets].

Bill Clinton Likes Palin's Political Instinct

[Bill's just horny.]

WASHINGTON (AFP)--Former President Clinton Thursday cast an approving eye at Sarah Palin's political skills, but wouldn't be drawn on whether his wife Hillary could run for the White House in 2012.

[Sarah Palin v. Hillary Clinton in 2012. BRING IT!]

Clinton, acclaimed even by his enemies as one of the most consummate U.S. politicians in recent history, said he didn't agree with Republican vice presidential pick Palin on politics, but warned fellow Democrats not to underestimate her.

[You could learn a lot from a DUmmie.]

"She's an instinctively effective candidate and with a compelling story," Clinton said in an interview with CNBC.

[It almost sounds as if Bill has a hidden agenda. But we all know he would never sabotage his own party for his wife's political gain.]

"I think it was exciting to some that she was a woman," said Clinton.

[We all know about your brand of excitement.]

"I think she, I get why she's done so well. It's a mistake to underestimate her. She's got good intuitive skills. They're significant," he said.

[Yeah, please don't elaborate any further, Bill.]

Clinton said he thought McCain, a Vietnam War hero and veteran lawmaker, was a "great man" and that the Nov. 4 election would be close, but he predicted Democratic Sen. Barack Obama would emerge triumphant.

[A war hero and a veteran lawmaker IS a great man. What have 0bama and J0e Biden accomplished in their collectivist lifetimes?]

Come on in, Bill,...

[...is a statement that you should teach you daughters NEVER to say to Bill Clinton.]

He seems to be deliberately self sabotaging the dem party

[Why on earth would he want to do that?]

Why do I always cringe when they put a mic in front of this man

[Because you just never know what he'll do with it.]

My advice Barrack, DON'T USE BILL CLINTON, especially during these economic times

[That's good advice we should all take.]

I say let him campaign for mccain

[He is, and he's doing it magnificently.]

Bill nails this one

[He's nailed a lot of 'em.]

Bill's the best BS artist I've ever seen, and that's a high compliment.

[Clinton makes PT Barnum look like a piker.]

I know what he likes--and it's not her political instrincts

[Are you implying that the former president is a dirty old man?]

I think "instinctive" makes her sound kind of animalistic

[Bill's the real beast.]

You came so close to retrieving your legacy at the Convention, but now it appears that just wasn't close enough.

[Bill almost got lucky at the convention.]

Could some of the Bill Clinton supporters explain this. Add some context for me, show us how this is empty. Wheres the sting after the butter up?

[All buttered up with nothing to sting.]

Does anyone here realize that if he tore into her it would play into the repukes' hands?

[Do you realize what a loaded question that is?]

Is Bill now the informal campaign manager for Hillary 2012?

[Did you think he was ever anything else.]

Any f***ing MORON knows that Bill Clinton was the best President we've seen since JFK.

[Lots of morons believe that.]

I'm locking this
flamebait .. ugly ugly stuff

[FUnnie, FUnnie stuff.]

Friday, September 19, 2008

Pitt Uses Positive Reinforcement To Miracle An Obama Win

You can call it wishful thinking or positive reinforcement but William Rivers Pitt is using it in an attempt to miracle the Democrats to victory this November. Yeah, it must be KILLING the Pied Piper. The most important election of our lifetimes and all he can do is sit on the sidelines and suggest something like, "Every day, in every little way, we are getting better and better." Barack Obama and Joe Biden are both terrible candidates. Beyond that Hillary is working quietly behind the scenes to ensure an Obama loss in November. However, there is the Pied Piper with nothing more than a positive reinforcement shtick as you can see in his THREAD titled, "...pssssssst..." And Pitt isn't alone in the idea that positive reinforcement will miracle Obama to victory in November. We also have a similar DUmmie THREAD titled, "Yes....we ARE going to win in November," with the same theme. Therefore both these similar threads will be double DUFUed. So let us now watch Pied Piper Pitt and the DUmmies wish really, really hard for an Obama victory in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, hearing Jimminy Cricket in the background singing "When You Wish Upon A Star," is in the [barackets]:


[Remove the "t" and that is what the Pied Piper is doing all the time in the Bukowksi's bathroom.]

...we're gonna win..

...pass it on...

[No problem, Pitt. I've passed it on to all our DUFU fans for their entertainment.]

Young people - get out the vote!!!!!

[Yes! Wake up early from your Rave Club night and vote in the vast numbers on election day, Nov. 5, as you did back in 2004.]

...pssssssst...we're gonna win......pass it on...

[Okay, I've psssssed it on.]

sshhhhhhhhhh....you'll jinx us....work like we're losing.....

[Pied Piper Pitt is an accurate prognosticator as evidenced by his incredible prediction about Karl Rove's indictment on May 12, 2006.]

We're gonna win; pass it on...

[We're going to continue munching on pizza; pass it on...]

It's in the bag baby we got the numbers :)

[It's in the bag baby we don't need to do anything :)]

We really are
We are going to win in November.
Win the big job
Win more seats in the Senate
Win more seats in the House.
Agree: pass it on!

[Freudenschade haiku.]

It's about f*cking time. I'm sensing landslide, baby!

[So am I. Hee! Hee!]

Will, Dear...we are not just gonna win...we are gonna give the Pubbies an ass-kicking they will NEVER forget!

[Prepare the roving Chekha squads for the post-election liquidations!]

Good to hear from you and to hear your postive thoughts.

[Every 24 business hours, in every little way, Karl Rove is closer to being indicted.]

I'm sensing a big, and hopefully final, swing to Obama. I know we have to keep fighting until we get there, but we can also start visualizing a new country arriving next January 20.

[I'm visualizing Al Gore turning the White House over to Obama next January 20.]

We're gonna crush 'em. We're talking a Democratic Majority for the next four decades.

[...pssssst... Better order your Guy Fawkes costume early.]

Yes Will, I feel it in my bones.

[Do you also feel the Guy Fawkes costume over your bones?]

we're going to pummel them.............shhhh......

[This DUmmies will be adding an "it" to the end in a few weeks.]

We HAVE to win.

[Or we break out the butterfly nets. And now to the other DUmmie positive reinforcement feel good thread...]

Yes....we ARE going to win in November ~~ kick & rec this thread if you agree!

[kick & rec on the DUmmie Funnies.]

OK....all at once shout it out and never believe differently: WE ARE GONNA WIN IN NOVEMBER!!!!!!!! Next thing to do:

[Nuthin' except munch pizza.]

Gimme an -0-
Gimme a -B-
Gimme an -A-
Gimme an -M-
Gimme anudder -A-

[Gimme a -B-
Gimme an -O-]

Who's gonna win???? NOW SHOUT IT OUT!!!!

[I expect a lot of Howard Beal shouting on election day, Nov. 5.]



WE ARE! The REAL Americans for a REAL America! Not some backwater cretins who use religion and nationalism to prop up failed policies and profits!

[You forgot to say, "Bitter backwater cretins."]

Volunteering tonight for phone banking!

[Before plunging into full scale pizza munching and heavy duty wishing.]

This election can still be stolen.

[All your Diebolds are already set to "R."]


[Barack Obama is only $10 away from being wished into the White House!]

Kicking for BIG, BIG, BIG, BIG WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[K & R your way to victory! WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!!]

We will wipe the floor with them. Seriously. WIPE OUT!! Landlside of historic proportions. They will talk about the decimation of the Republican party and wonder if they can ever rebuild their coalition after this defeat. We will wipe them OUT!!

[At least it will happen in your "West Wing" rerun.]

Yup, do the work, hold the vision. We're gonna win this BIG.

[Yup, visualize the same victories that Algore and Kerry had.]

We are the winners....and we need to NEVER forget that.
McHoover and Falin can lie, lie, lie...and the truth STILL gets them!

[DUmmies will quickly convert from fantasy winnners to real life whiners.]

Next week the media will be in McCains corner..but this is a ground game, and we look really good !!!

[I have a Joe Biden Hail Mary pass that you're not going to like.]

It's important to REGISTER VOTERS - the deadlines are coming up!

[Dig up the cemeteries!]


[I'll visualize your victory just after I come off my 8 year high of visualizing the Algore victory.]

Landslide. Been saying it ESPECIALLY when Palin was chose. LANDSLIDE. It energized the evangelicals to be sure. But what it really did was to energize the Dem base. Without Palin many (especially young voters) would have stayed home assuming Obama was going to win. Dems will no longer take that chance with Palin on the ticket. Palin was a gift to us.

[And Biden is our gift to you.]

The debates will be the frosting on the cake...

[And Obama/Biden definitely look to be frosted...]

Before I go, tell me what YOU'RE doing IN THE REAL WORLD tonight to help the democratic party win.

[Close our eyes, lean back, and click our heels together three times while wishing really, really hard.]

I need ONE person to keep me company tonight. What are YOU doing IN THE REAL WORLD tonight to help the democratic party win? Anyone?

[Writing "OBAMA" on empty pizza cartons in my basement.]

Nothing is certain until Nov. 5th

[Hmmm... Why do I suspect a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL here?]

With Our Thoughts We Create the World.

[Visualize Genesis!!!]

We must win

[Or there will be a run on butterfly nets.]

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

"Karl Rove hacked Sarah's email account."

This is just breaking on DU, so it's pretty lean right now. But as you all know, when something breaks on DU, you can rely on PJ, Charles or I to fix it. 

Earlier today, Governor Palin's personal Yahoo! e-mail account was hacked. Screen caps are all over the Internet (the posting of which, may very well be subject to prosecution).

But what did this hacking yield the opposition? Nothing. Zero. As zero as Zero Possumus. Pictures of Sarah's kids, personal phone numbers that are long abandoned, and prayer requests. All just further evidence that Governor Palin is just the person we knew she was: a strong, smart, genuine conservative.

I predict that before the weekend, these hackers will be caught, and I hope that all these RATS posting the screen caps will also be rounded up for prosecution. The DUmmies have a theory, which is theirs and only theirs, and is so DUmb that only they could come up with it.

It was ROVE! as witnessed in this DUmmie THREAD entitled "Karl Rove hacked Sarah's email account."

So now let us watch the DUmmies blame the hacking on Karl Rove in Bolshevik red while the comments of your humble guest narrator, Paul Heinzman are in the [brackets].

Karl Rove hacked Sarah's email account

[Would you expect less from him?]

Don't fall for it... anyone who would hack an email account would not go public until they had something to show... they would WAIT until they found something.

[They'll soon be finding a jail cell.]

When someone claims they were hacked, but everything found is useless -- they LET THEMSELVES be hacked.

[Take my identity...PLEASE!]

Now back to the ECONOMY!

[Now back to the DUmmies!]

This is classic Rove. They are desperate right now, and need Palin, their one and only dwindling asset, to be a martyr.

[There is no "classic Rove." Just when you think you have mastered the game, Rove changes the rules. Some say he never even existed. In the words of Tom Waits, "If you think that you can tell a bigger tell, I swear

it's just another distraction

[E-mails to nowhere.]

Sarah gave him the login - Karl didn't hack anything.    
and surprise - there was nothing left of real interest either.

[Just regular e-mails to a regular person. In this case, curiosity won't kill the cat, it will just send it to prison for up to five years.]

I think you're right. When I think of all the crazy stuff in my e-mails, I have to admit, if somebody hacked me they'd find a boatload of shit to say. LOL

[Is that you, John Edwards?]

OK...a new days back I threatened to kill the next person who invoked Karl Rove as a puppet master in the Sarah Palin fiasco. 

[Get help. Please.]

But in the case, I'll make an exception. This sounds like EXACTLY the sort of thing Rove would do, especially if it turns out that no smoking gun turns up.

[No one dies tonight.]

not in Rove's skill set
Maybe he hired someone

[Rove can direct hurricanes, make John Kerry insult our troops, force John Edwards to have adulterous relations with some skank while his wife is fighting to live, but he can't hack an e-mail account? When Rove hacks an e-mail account] 

that Rove is one crazy f***er

[One magnificent bastard.]

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Primal Scream DUmmies Rage Over Obama Poll Plunge

Now the FUn really begins. The inevitable plunge in the polls by Barack Obama is causing the DUmmies to implode in a big way as you can see in this THREAD with the enraged title of "You know who you are. You are LYING to US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You dirty, corrupt SOBs!." That title alone is worth a bundle of laughs. Apparently DUmmie wowimthere just can't accept the poll results showing Obama's steep decline so he lashes out at the pollsters. His rage is matched by that of his fellow DUmmies which is what makes this thread so comedically entertaining. So let us now enjoy the enjoy the Primal Scream DUmmies shouting out their rage against pollsters in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if DUmmie wowimthere is really the infamous troglaman in disguise, is in the [barackets]:

You know who you are. You are LYING to US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You dirty, corrupt SOBs!

[Blasted DUmmie wowimthere from his rubber room bunker.]

How can Obama raise 66 million dollars in August, gain another 500,000 donors and have over 80 thousand people show up at his Denver speech and be tied with a corrupt politician who can't even get 5000 people to hear him speak, who can't raise money on his own and has to lie about the crowd sizes to create perception that he's doing well enough to be considered a presidential hopeful?

[So what address can I send you your Guy Fawkes costume?]

80 percent of this country believes that this country is going in the wrong direction and I'm supposed to believe that McCain who votes with Bush 90 percent of the times is tied with Obama?

[Actually AHEAD of Obama. Does that make you feel better?]


[COME ON! Time for your lithium shot.]

All indications are that Dems will gain more seats in the House and the Senate giving the Dems an overwhelming majority to push their agenda but Obama who is a popular Democrat who can get disaffected Republicans and Independents to vote for the Democratic ticket may not get to the white house because he's tied with a Republican who was responsible for enabling Bush?

[All indications are that the DUmmies are in the middle of a meltdown.]


[COME ON! Time for your electroshock therapy.]

The Democrats have registered 11,000,000 more Democrats than the Republicans and I'm supposed to believe that Obama and McCain are tied?

[Tied among voters who do not reside in cemeteries.]


[COME ON! Time to bite down on that leather strap.]

McCain picks a woman to be his running mate (for political reasons) who has absolutely no foreign policy experience (a credential he ripped Obama for), who is as corrupt as he is and is just a heartbeat away from the presidency and he and Obama are tied?

[Not tied. Ahead.]


[COME ON! Start swinging your butterfly net.]

All together!

Chuck Todd is LYING!
Wallstreet Journal is LYING!
USA Today is LYING!

[Did anybody ever tell you that you're cute when rabidly raging uncontrollably?]

And the polls...?


[But not Jason Leopold. You can always believe him.]

THERE IS NO TIE! This is a fabrication. This is an illusion. This is a fairytale.

[Are those restraining straps comfy?]

The Media and the Polls they road in on are FULL of SHIT! They want you to believe the illogical. It's a LIE. How can they get away with THIS LIE?

[Not to worry. The exit polls will be as accurate as they were in 2004.]

Obama and McCain are NOT TIED! Good commonsense defies the logic of the polls. The media who sponsors these polls is holding these polls up as a way of pushing their own agenda. People should do one thing consistently. Write or call the media outlets to tell them that you aren't gullible, that you know that they are trying to sway opinion and possibly the election.

[Yes! Yes! Open your window in Ward 8 and Primal Scream your anger at the world. And now on to the other Primal Scream DUmmies...]

Honestly, it looks to me as though the MSM is looking to the Good Witch Sarah to blink away that nasty black man.

[MSM? Like Jack Cafferty and Campbell Brown? And what parallel universe are you posting from?]


[Your Diebold machines are already set on "R."]

exactly . . . . they're just softening us up to accept the big blow

[Would it help if we anesthetized you first?]

The Republicans know exactly what they're doing....If they can keep the polls looking close, when they go to rig the election, it'll not be so obvious.

[All is going according to the Perfect Rovian Plan.]


Do we actually think the corporate media controlled by the corporate overlords would rig the poles so that when they steal an insane percentage of votes on election day, no one will be surprised? No...really? NO F*CKING SHIT!

WE ARE COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY DOOMED...unless for some bizarre reason, they completely screw up and can't steal enough votes...we can always HOPE.

[Don't you listen? I told you the Diebold machines are already set to "R."]

We can also take to the streets.

[Drop your pizzas and hit the streets.]

Christ on a harley,

The Ukrainians staged a country wide shut down; the orange revolution.

[Those pizza stains on your T-shirts could pass for orange.]

We need to be prepared to do the same or we need to be prepared to live with the result. So when the repubs try to swarm an election recount we need to out swarm them and push their asses somewhere else. When they try to rig the supreme court we need to plug the streets so nothing gets done around the court and the judges can't leave. When the cops and national guard are pulled in we have to convince them to support their neighbors rather than their overlords. Or we need to make sure that they spend months getting us moved. Everyone should buy a set of handcuffs and throw away the keys and then fill the keyhole with epoxy so they can't be opened and then chain themselves together.

[You'll move the moment you get the munchies for a pizza which means 10 minutes.]

We must resist.

[Why wait? Why don't you see if you can get a chain of DUmmies to form halfway across Pennsyvania Ave.. You couldn't do it before but this time you might be in luck.]

My Fondest, Dearest Hope should this happen, is that the hate radio stations and staff are singled out for immediate retaliation.

[Send in the DUmmie Chekha squads to liquidate Rush, Sean, and Laura.]

We march on Washington and live there until we get a fair re-count or re-vote. Whatever it takes.

[But where do you go when you have to do doo-doo? There will be no convenient portapotties set up for you.]

They'll steal it if we let them, but I don't plan to let them - do you? Making defeatist predictions despite what the author said doesn't help at all, and only shows how messed up in the head some progressives are; the repugs did great at getting inside some people's heads and living rent-free, but they didn't get inside mine, and apparently not the author's. Speak for yourself - you're preparing to roll over and play dead and let them win, but the majority of us are not. The majority of us are mad as hell and we're not taking this anymore.

[I won't let those evil Republicans get inside my head. I WON'T! I WON'T! I WON'T LET THEM DRIVE ME INSANE WITH ANGER!!!]

CNN shows a map of the U.S.A. today - the states divided into red and blue. Funny thing - it appeared only 7 of the states were colored in blue. They want us to believe ONLY SEVEN STATES OUT OF FIFTY ARE BLUE! The rest they show as either red, "maybe" red or blue, or "could go either way". After 8 years of Americans watching our country and our lives being destroyed under the bu$h regime? Does ANYONE believe this? I think not. They have gone too far, and are too obvious this time. They CANNOT get away with it.

[Seven states in blue? So that means the other fifty are red.]

I noticed that MSNBC has added a new color to their maps. It looks green. It was never there before but now they have included it. And surprise, surprise, surprise, Obama has suddenly lost electoral votes from states that use to lean to him. Interesting how they had to add a new color to make it look like Obama was falling behind. Corporate media covering for the coming theft of the election.

[Would it make you feel better if they added magenta to their electoral map color scheme?]


[Barack Obama is only $10 away from turning Wyoming blue.]

Kerry signs were 50:1 over Bush here is S.E. Ohio in 2004. It was unreal. I was positive Kerry would win Ohio. Remember, S.E. Ohio is traditionally foolish in their presidential selection. But they cheated. And they will cheat again. Because they are not patriots as they would have us believe. They are scoundrels of the worst kind.

[Better send Obama into Ohio to "get me a huntin' license."]

They have to keep the polls close. Otherwise, when they steal the election it will be to obvious. It's kind of like the big dustup after the last election where they were saying the exit polls were all wrong. The exit polls were right, but the vote counts weren't. There are lots of die-hard rethugs out there, religious zealots & greedy rich folks. Add those that don't pay attention & the racists & it might be tighter than it should be in reality, but I still believe, like you, that Obama is winning. MY state should turn blue, but my state has some serious election fraud issues. What can we do?

[Send in a team of ACORN lawyers. They have a lot of experience with election fraud.]

You're right about the exit polls. I knew when they said the exit polls were off that the election had been stolen. Create perception that this is a close election so that this election is ripe for stealing. If most people know this and articulate it to the media then when you don't have to trust the media then you go to other alternative forms of news and what happens to traditional media? They lose.

[But Karl Rove wins.]

The media are playing us all for suckers, and Gallup, and Rasmussen are the pawns. These polls are complete bullshit, and anyone with half a brain can figure that out. The media is using manufactured "polls" to generate ratings. It's disgusting that none of them are concerned with the truth. This country is so deep in corruption, media sensationalism, and fascism that it's on the verge of imploding.

[Talking about imploding...]

Something is happening that we need to start really paying attention to. Karma has it out for us kids. I witnessed it first hand yesterday when a F*CKING HURRICANE hit central Ohio. 1,497,610 people are without electricity right now as a result of yesterdays sustained equivalent of a F1 tornado. The next time some f*cker tells you that global warming is a myth, punch the shit out of them. No intelligent person believes that. Yet, a vapid moron parading around as a vice presidential candidate would have you believe it. Jesus rode on the back of a dinosaur. Women should be forced to have a baby resulting from a rape. Half the country believes this phony, and the dumb ass grandpa, Reagan wannabe. If that is true, I have completely lost faith in this nation. Perhaps God should wash us off of the map for good.

[Your eyes have that special twinkle when you are in the middle of a Primal Scream.]

Keep frightening the TV channels sponsors and advertisers so the channels will back down

[And not report poll results?]

what gets my blood boiling is when you see McCain/Palin telling lie after lie and miraculously... their poll numbers go up? WTF! That isn't believable given the last 8 years when we've lied. I know people are paying attention. I hear it from everyone. I don't know but one person who may consider McCain. Everyone else, Dem, GOP, Independent is voting for Obama.

[Is that you, Pauline Kael?]

Im sorry...I do believe McCain/Palin will win this election...I've seen the nation dumbed down with propaganda, junk news, and other assorted toys to keep us entertained to where I have no faith in its people anymore.

[Give up the audacity of hope now!]

Let's not forget the huge number of vituperative, small minded bigots who want to gloat over the libruls' despair.

[Hee! Hee!]

The polling lies are a prerequisite for stealing the 2008 election. Face it people. The polls HAVE to be [kept] close so they can steal enough votes to steal the third election in a row. 2000 in Florida, 2006 in Ohio and 2008 in one of the purple states. I'm no pollster but it's not hard to see that simply changing the sampling size and make-up can change the poll results. Dam computers have all made it possible. Close polls, caging practices and talking heads planting seeds of doubt on expected turn outs should be consider the trifecta of stolen elections. The question is will Obama fold like Kerry did in 2004. If he does we're done as a democracy. Remember It's not the people who vote that count. It's the people who count the votes.

[Is that Karl Rove inside your Diebold machine?]

I live in California. Is there ANYTHING I can do, we can do, to STOP them from stealing the race? Please tell me. And I'll do it. Whatever it is. Just sitting here makes me feel completely useless. I know California is more liberal, I'm not worried about California. I'm worried about Ohio, New York, etc. What can I do??????

[California? No need for you to worry about California. Hee! Hee!]

Sunday, September 14, 2008

The Devil Scares Pravda: Palin Madness Syndrome goes global!

The Devil Scares Pravda. And Sarah Palin is the devil in disguise. Well, that's what a columnist for Pravda thinks. And you might expect that from the Russian propaganda rag. But guess who agrees with Pravda? That's right, the DUmmies! Get a load of this THREAD: Pravda Columnist on Palin - "Do you know what a nuclear holocaust is?"

The fact that Gov. Palin wisely would not rule out any options when asked about potential Russian aggression--that resolve has the Russians poutin' and the DUmmies hiding under their desks and building bomb shelters. They want to do a "Goldwater the Mad Bomber" number on the McCain-Palin ticket. So let's first see the Pravda columnist--an Englishman, Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey, writing for the Russians!--go apoplectic with PMS (Palin Madness Syndrome) and then watch the DUmmies pile on, all in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who thought the Fey-Poehler/Palin-Clinton skit was LOL FUnnie, is in the [brackets]:

Palin – the Devil in disguise

[The updo hides the horns.]

The candidate for the Vice Presidency of the United States of America . . . threatened to open the gates of Hell by attacking Russia. . . .

[Of course she did nothing of the sort. She simply would not limit our options in the event of HYPOTHETICAL Russian aggression against a HYPOTHETICAL NATO ally. But don't let the facts get in your way.]

One question for this self-opinionated upstart: Do you know what a nuclear holocaust is?

[One question for Timothy Backside-Hickey: Are you an Englishman or a Russkie?]

Sarah Palin, Mrs. Nobody know-it-all shreiking cow from Alaska, the joke of American politics, plied with a couple of vodkas before letting rip in front of incredulous audiences while McCain coos in the background, cuts a ridiculous figure as she strives to be taken seriously.

[You're just mad because it wasn't RUSSIAN vodka.]

So Sarah Palin, Mrs. Hockey Mom housewife-cum-small-town gossip merchant and cheap little guttersnipe, suppose you shut up and allowed real politicians and diplomats to do their work?

[Mrs. Hockey Mom takes on the Russkies! "USA! USA! USA!"]

you pith-headed little bimbo from the back of beyond. . .

["PMS! PMS! PMS!"]

So next time suppose you keep your mouth shut and while you’re at it, make sure the members of your family keep their legs shut too. Your country has enough failed mothers as it is.

[Palin Madness Syndrome goes global! Now the DUmmies pile on. . . .]

Wow - they really do not like her. . . .

[Democratic Understatement.]

Nuclear Holocaust.

[That's "Nucular."]

She's not worried about that. Jesus will rapture her up with all her family, so she will avoid the consequences of her decisions. However, she will reverse global warming with nuclear winter!

[See, there's an upside to all this!]

"I bet it's a really good dessert at TGI Friday's!" And, of course, Palin will claim that she created the original Nuclear Holocaust - it's a recipe ripped off the Nestle Toll House Cookies web site.

[As long as it isn't Baked Alaska.]

"Mrs. Nobody know-it-all shreiking cow from Alaska." This is the type of language that the lunatic fringe uses routinely and it sticks... Time for the left to stop shying away from it on the few little outlets that they are on!

[Thanx for admitting that you're the lunatic fringe!]

As someone who grew up in the 50's and 60's, knows how to outfit a fallout shelter, I offer this suggestion. How about an ad or two, or even a few well placed letters to the editor pointing out the destruction of mankind if this blathering idiot ascends to power. Honestly, I haven't been as worried myself about this since I was a young girl.

[You need to learn to stop worrying and love the bomb. Head for the nearest mineshaft!]

edited for spelling, even thought there are no big words

["Though" is kinda big, so I see how it could trip you up.]

The daisy ad. The thing is, I think Palin is actually MUCH more likely to pull the trigger than Goldwater ever was.

[Please don't nuke the daisies.]

If as one Republican said, McCain will make Cheyney look like Gandhi, where does that put Palin?

[Looking like Goldwater in a skirt?]

C'mon ppl - REC this! Other DUers will LOVE this! Kick it to the moon!

[Yeah, it's PRAVDA, people! It'll make everybody nostalgic for the good ol' U.S.S.R.!]

K & R.


Amazing - no trolls to voice their "concerns" over the fact that it is "Pravda". . . .

[The DUmmies Spare Pravda.]

I don't think they like Mooseilini. . . .

[But at least she makes the snowmachines run on time.]

"Guttersnipe" - reminds me of "My Fair Lady." . . . "I'll make a queen of that barbarous wretch!"

["The radioactivity in a nu-cle-ar holocaust stays mainly in the Palin."
"By George W, I think she's got it!"]

Russia bragging on about their nuclear missiles just plays right into the hands of frothing RWers.


See you at the debate, Mooseburgers.

[If you stay on the ticket till October 2nd, Beltway Joe!]

Uh, oh. Looks like Pravda didn't get the memo about treating her with 'deference'.

[Barry will have to throw Pravda under the bus. "That's not the Pravda I used to know."]

Pravda is the ultimate source of pure crap...but this *is* f*cking funny.

[It's still pure crap, though.]

Friday, September 12, 2008

"The bloody VOICE!!!"

As we have seen, including in yesterday's EDITION of the DUmmie FUnnies, PDS (Palin Derangement Syndrome) is rampant in DUmmieland. The DUmmies are now so far gone that they can't even bear to hear the sound of her voice as you can see in this THREAD titled, "The bloody VOICE!!!" Yes, Sarah Palin's voice drives DUmmies absolutely CRAZY. Actually they are already NUts but Palin's voice makes them go completely bonkers. So let us now watch the DUmmies go berserk at the sound of Palin's voice in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that the DUmmies can now get jobs as extras in "28 Days Later" remakes, is in the [brackets]:

The bloody VOICE!!!

[Drives the loons NUts!!! Perhaps we should send Apache helicopters over Afghanistan to play Sarah Palin recordings on loudspeakers to drive Al-Qaeda from their caves..]

Belatedly doing my homework and watching the Gibson interview. Forget the content (or lack thereof), the only things I hear are nasality, rising inflections, strange and arbitrary emphasis on words and, and......NUKULAR

[Uh, uh, umm... Well, I umm...certainly ah, ummm...happy that uh...that is, Obama's uh, voice, doesn't ummm...bother you.]

Oh geez...Hillary and that fake northeastern accent...fingernails on chalkboard. Palin's reminds me of Francis McDormand (sp?) from her role in Fargo

[Actually Hillary's normal accent is that of suburban Chicago. The rest of the time she is doing either a fake southern or fake northeastern accent.]

Great minds think alike. I already call Palin. "Marge Gunderson."

[Yah! Actually I like the Marge Gunderson accent.]

Lindsey Graham and Phill Gramm. Their voices SUCK and its not the southern thing either because I grew up and still live in the south. I know I've complained about their voices too. Palin's voice is just plain horrible.

[And you will be hearing a lot more of her voice for years to come. Hee! Hee!]

Oh I complain about liebermans voice. GOD it irritates me to no end x( I can't listen to him I have to turn him off. Worse than listening to boosh and I'd definitely prefer listening to nails on a chalkboard than hear one peep outta liebermans maw.

[Lieberman's voice sounds sort of like an adenoidal Elmer FUdd. However he does look like a muppet.]

I ALWAYS think of the guy on Alf! Sounds just like him!

[Perhaps but when I see Lieberman speak, he reminds me of a muppet.]

Chris Matthews, Joe Lieberman, Bush*, Lindsey Graham all have HORRIBLE voices that make me want to throw a shoe through my t.v. whenever I hear them. Oh, and Rod Decker, a local newsman has the worst voice on the planet.

[Chris Matthews sounds like a honking goose whenever he blurts "HA!"]

What can possibly be worse than Jaaames Sensennnnnbrennnnnerrrrr? Also, the voices and accents of so many other Republican senators. O Mi God. Oh, jesus. Is there anything worse? Republicans are such ugly people. Ugly in manner, ugly in attitude, ugly in vocal expressions, ugly in "vallyuhs" (values) and dumb as mud. People with ugly world views are almost uniformly ugly in all their traits, thoughts, expressions, appearances. It can never successfully be concealed.

[Of course, this DUmmie thinks that the Code Pink freaks appear perfectly normal.]

Reagan's condescending tone drove me nuts.

[There you go again!]

The sound of Bush's voice makes me want to scream. The way he mangles the language is far worse than his fake Texas drawl which he's so proud of. He tries to use big words but even when they're written in very large letters he still manages to fumble them. Chertoff's voice is nerve wracking too. Rumsfeld's voice is brittle and sarcastic and I'm glad he's no longer doing his crappy immitation of being a human being on TV. Sean Hannity is shrill and hits you like machine gun bullets. Swartzennegger's limited vocabulary and thick accent makes you wonder why he hasn't dropped some of that accent after all these years. It makes me think he's too lazy to pronounce words that he hears on a daily basis. He can't pronounce the 'th' in that. It still comes out as 'dat'.

[Believe it or not, one of the most difficult sounds in English for foreign speakers to pronounce is "th". It seems easy but many foreign speakers just can't do it. Maybe something you have to pick up early on. I notice the same problem with the way "R" and double "R" is pronounced in Spanish. Most Americans can't do it correctly. Your humble correspondent can but that is because of early training in that idiom.]

Someone Called It "Fargoese" After the movie...a bit of Canadian with a touch of lumberjack. :rofl:

[Mixed in with a bit of Bullwinkle.]

I can't wait for the debate. I know they get some of the questions before hand, but she can't stand up to Joe's on the spot questions.

[Assuming that Joe is even on the Democrat ticket by the time the debate begins.]