As soon as I heard the name "Joe the Plumber" invoked at last night's debate, I just KNEW the DUmmies and KOmmies would be sure to slam him by attempting to dig up dirt. I was not disappointed when I checked those sites this morning. First we see the slams in DUmmieland at this THREAD tenderly titled, "Hey, Joe 'The Dumbass' Plumber. Listen up!" Yeah, Joe, you need to be hectored by a bunch of socialist DUmmies to tell you how the world works from deep within their mommy's basement. The KOmmie THREAD has the completely (as we shall see) incorrect title of "'Joe the Plumber'" Not a Registered Voter." It turns out they were wrong but you will see how they were put in their sheepish place further along in this DUFU edition. So let us now watch the DUmmies and KOmmies vent their rage against Joe the Plumber in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that Joe has now become the world's most famous plumber, is in the [brackets]:
Hey, Joe "The Dumbass" Plumber. Listen up!
[Listen up! We KOmmie DUmmies know what's best for you so you just shut up!]
Barack Obama already explained this to you, but obviously your skull is too thick to understand. So, let me try one more time, moron.
[Joe the Plumber is just not enlightened enough to understand the fine points of Marxism.]
First of all, because of Bush/McCain economic policies, the credit market is frozen, which means that your dream of buying the plumbing business you work for was just flushed down the toilet. You will most likely need credit to buy that business, but who is going to loan any money to you?
[And of course, Barney Frank and his Fannie Mae crew such as Franklin Raines had absolutely noting to do with the collapse of the credit market.]
But, if you are fortunate enough to buy the business, and not need a line of credit to make payroll for your employees---here's how you are helped (not hurt) by Barack Obama.
[Listen up to our lecture on what is best for you.]
1. Obama wants to give you a 50% tax CREDIT, dumbass, along with another $3000 incentive for every new plumber you hire.
[Great way to win Joe the Plumber over by calling him "dumbass."]
2. On the first $250,000 you earn, your income tax goes up ZERO, NADA, ZILCH. Not one more thin dime.
[You promise like Bill Clinton promised those middle class tax cuts.]
3. For every $1000 OVER $250,000 Obama will ask you to pay an extra $30 dollars in taxes. Not $30 time $250,000---just $30 for the $1000 OVER THE FIRST $250,000. That means if your income is $251,0000, you are asked for $30. THIRTY FREAKING DOLLARS FOR $1000. AND YOU ARE TOO DAMNED TIGHT TO PAY THAT?????
[I love the smell of DUmmie rage in the morning!]
So, if you make $300,000 ($50,000 above the first $250,000) Obama is going to ask for $1500. FIFTEEN HUNDRED for FIFTY THOUSAND. AND YOU STILL GET THE 50% TAX CREDIT FOR SMALL BUSINESSES AND THE $3000 FOR EVERY NEW PLUMBER YOU HIRE, DUMBASS. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT? So, if you make $300,000 ($50,000 above the first $250,000) Obama is going to ask for $1500. FIFTEEN HUNDRED for FIFTY THOUSAND. AND YOU STILL GET THE 50% TAX CREDIT FOR SMALL BUSINESSES AND THE $3000 FOR EVERY NEW PLUMBER YOU HIRE, DUMBASS. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT?
[An economics lesson from a DUmmie who doesn't even pay mommy rent for the basement he is posting from.]
4. That little bit extra you would be paying in taxes will help the middle class in this country have some extra money in their pockets which (GUESS WHAT, STOOPID MORAN (sic)) helps them HIRE FREAKING PLUMBERS, thus giving you MORE BUSINESS, so that you can make MORE MONEY.
[You call Joe "STOOPID" but guess who's the DUmmie?]
5. If you provide health benefits to your employees, you must remember that John McCain wants to TAX THOSE BENEFITS AS INCOME---including the policy that you purchase for yourself. JOHN MCCAIN WILL RAISE YOUR TAXES A HELL OF A LOT MORE THAN $30 per thousand. If you pay $10,000 for your health care plan, and pay 36% tax on it, which John McCain wants you to do...guess what, idiot?....you will pay an extra $3600 in income taxes. Do you really want to do that? You would have to make over $350,000 to get taxed that much more by Obama. PLUS YOU DON'T GET THE 50% tax credit for small business under McCain.
[I'm picturing a DUmmie here with a slide rule trying to figure out how to make a Rube Goldberg economics machine work.]
So, Joe the Plumber. If you are too damned stupid to understand how Obama benefits you much more than McCain, then throw the American dream away and vote for McCain.
[I guess no invite for Joe the Plumber to Barack Obama's Freudenschade victory party in Grant Park on election night.]
[Speaking of election night, this DUmmie is going to be FUn to watch that evening.]
If you are so f*cking ignorant as to not understand this, then you are not bright enough to own your own business. You had better just keep working for somebody else. Otherwise, you'll probably end up bankrupt, and hoping for the government to bail your ass out.
[This DUmmie is so angry that I suspect his mommy cut back on his allowance. And now to hear from the other enraged DUmmies...]
He probably blames his divorce on other people too.
[Who do you blame your divorce from reality on?]
Sorry, I know this is stereotyping but he looks jackbootish to me...
[Just like you stereotyped a clean-cut photographer at a leftwing demonstration in DC.]
Have we found out yet that McCain paid this goof to ask Obama about his taxes? If so, I missed it so far. If not, I would not be surprised if we hear about that shortly.
[Karl Rove left a bag of money on his front porch.]
Joe also thinks Obama's plan sounds "Marxist" Kinda gives you an idea of where Joe's coming from.
Joe the Plumber was a republican plant. OBVIOUS. Cameras ready. Gotcha moment. Then use in debate. Toss "joe" (wow, another Joe, how curious) on the day after morning shows. Nearly perfect ....... but too obvious. Joe listens to way too much talk radio. Too many rw talking points.
[How do you like the fit of your tinfoil hat?]
He is on all the shows this morning. Cutting Obama down!! Need somebody to find out if he was a plant!!
[Why don't you send out that investigative team of Leopold & Lib?]
Joe sure is opinionated for someone who's not registered to vote.
[Careful with that because that statement will boomerang on you as you shall see in the KOmmie thread.]
Yes, Joe is a dumbass Repuke...but the fact that the media is drooling over this guy, like he is making a valid point, is the problem. I hope Obama;s team jumps all over this is and start flooding the air waves to "explain it" to the DUMBASS media!!!!
[Send in the Smear Team!!!]
I don't want to slam plumbers or any blue collar contractors for that matter. But most of them I meet are RW hillbilly's' There, I f*cking said it. They are usually terrible with finances, and some of the biggest rip-off artists I've ever met. At least in the surrounding area where I live. I've met a few cool, ethical contractors, but it's never the norm. And yes, they do often make shit-loads of money, by exploiting cheap labor, and ripping off the consumers they "service". Even the landscapers are driving around in new Corvettes. So now we've got Joe Plumber who, just like so many other skilled-trade contractors, finds every tax loop-hole known to man, (when they actually report their taxable income). Believe me. I've worked for these slimy, under the table scumbags in the past. It was hard to wash the dirt off some nights. But you'll never convince these morons that Barack Obama is out to help them. No, Obama is Muslim. That's about as intelligible as the conversation gets, and then reasoning is done. Spend some time here in the blue-collar bars of central Ohio, and you'll know what I'm talking about. Success is measured by the least mpg.
[That statement should cause The One to lose Ohio and Pennsylvania. Thanx, DUmmie!]
I've seen about 3 minutes of that guy talking and it's clear that he's completely blinded by the typical RW line.
[So unenlightened as to not be completely blinded by the typical Bolshevik line. And now we go to KOmmieland to laugh at their frustated rage...]
"Joe the Plumber" Not a Registered Voter
[Really? Methinks you have a major "OOPS!" coming your way.]
Now, I realize that this has not been varified, but if this is true, and the MSM picks up on it, I honestly think that this may have damaging affects. McCain kept bringing him up, adding a new rule to drinking games. He is a household name now and then we find out he can't even vote.
[This KOmmie is soon going to have the unfortunate experience that some people prefer to use their middle names. But let us now read the other KOmmie rantings about this "unregistered" plumber before the sad truth sets in...]
I saw him on video last night. His arms were crossed. He looked confrontational. I thought what the heck, he's not interested in learning anything. When Obama reached and put a hand on him, he drew back.
[Sure signs of a heretic who refuses to accept the infallibility of The One.]
Of course, it looks as though JoeT.P. may not actually be a voter.
[Yes, yes. Please place all your eggs in that basket.]
The IRS, the FBI, and the FTC should be checking into this guy.
[For committing Thought Crimes. And now a KOmmie reports on a certain sad truth...]
If this is he, he is a registered voter...found a Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher in Holland, Ohio (near Toledo) on Lexis. He registered in 2002 as party affiliation "none declared."
[OOPs! It looks like the KOmmies didn't figure that perhaps Joe the Plumber prefers being called that to Sam the Plumber.]
I just hope - please God That Joe Plumber's 15 minutes of fame are over by tomorrow morning, that I'll never hear the word hockey mom ever again after this campaign, and that Joe Sixpack gets a DWI next time he hits the road wasted.
[You will be hitting the road wasted after election day on November 5.]
Totally. Drain this, Joe the Plumber. Sounds like another angry right-wing jerk. Thankfully he's too lazy to register to vote.
[Happily you're WRONG about his voter status.]
After reading that, I'm glad he's not registered to vote.
[You'll be going from glad to sad status when you find out the truth.]
HE IS A PLANT. Makes sense, that is all the Republicans have left is gamesmanship and tricks.
[PLANT that tinfoil hat firmly on this KOmmies tiny skull.]
The man is a racist slug looking for an excuse to vote against Obama.
[Posted a KOmmie with an excuse for a brain.]
How many times can Joe the Plumber vote
[Just once since he didn't register several times over by ACORN.]
Will it surprise anyone that he's not registered, is it public knowledge, should it be? Perhaps the folks at ACORN should stop by with a voter registration card.
[They would never do that since he doesn't favor the Obamassiah.]
This guy Joe may regret his 15 minutes of fame. Most of us have skeletons in the closet. Does he really want his revealed?
[Threatened the KOmmie.]
As a law student I have access to LexisNexis so I looked up Mr. Joe Plumber to verify that he is not registered. And lo and behold he is not.
[As a law student, you're too stupid to figure out that Joe might be prefer to use his middle name.]
UPDATE: Freeper Gloucester created this PERFECT graphic!