Slate Writer Reveals Liberal Agenda In The Open
Freudenschade, baby! This is a special edition of the DUmmie FUnnies. Instead of DUmmies or KOmmies or HUffies, we are focusing on Slate senior writer, Timothy Noah, who is so confident of Obama's "victory" in November that he jumped the gun and posted the not so hidden liberal agenda out in the open. You can read his Slate ARTICLE titled, "The New Complacency," as well as an ANALYSIS of that article over at NewsBusters. So let us now join honorary DUmmie Timothy Noah in mid-gloat as he is about to reveal WAY too much in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thanking Noah's bark, is in the [barackets]:
There's a new scent in the air. If you're a Democrat, you haven't felt it tickle your nostrils since October 1996, when everybody knew that Bill Clinton was about to beat Bob Dole. The perfume hasn't been this strong since October 1964, the eve of Lyndon Johnson's landside presidential victory. It's the sweet smell of success that you can take for granted.
[If a liberal farts by himself and there is on one else around to smell it, will it count as a scent?]
With every passing day, it's harder to imagine that the next president of the United States will be a Republican—even a "maverick" Republican like John McCain. A consensus is emerging that the next president will be Barack Obama, a Democrat. Obama may not win in a landside, as some predict, but the common wisdom is that he will win and that the Democrats will expand their majorities in the House and Senate. Like the houseguests in Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None, swing states are disappearing one by one. Goodbye, Michigan; farewell, Ohio. Will Florida evaporate next? Colorado? Missouri?
[Yes, yes! Count those chickens before they hatch!]
Conservatives can carp all they want about the insularity of the cultural elite, but it's been a very long time since liberals had the chance to experience electoral complacency at the national level. You'll forgive them if they take a moment to taste it, savor it, perhaps bottle a little extra to tide them over during the next conservative ascendancy. Practically the only thing you can't do is securitize it, but it would be churlish to complain about that, given the central role the financial markets' collapse played in bringing the New Complacency about. Democrats, you want to worry about something? Worry about your portfolio!
[Taste it. Savor that Freudenschade victory champagne. It's been a long wait.]
During the past 25 years, there have been countless sentiments that respectable Democratic politicians were never, ever supposed to say out loud for fear of angering the all-powerful Republicans. It still isn't wise for Obama to say them, but maybe the New Complacency will loosen other tongues within the political mainstream. Even if it doesn't, it's fun to think about what those utterances might be. What follows is a list, compiled with help from my fellow Slate staffers. The views expressed don't necessarily reflect those of the contributors—one of whom is a conservative Republican—or even me. But they sure are a refreshing change from what we've been hearing since 1981. With a little luck, they may soon be orthodoxies.
[DUmmie Noah is so confident of victory in November that he lets down his guard and stupidly posts the liberal agenda out in the open. Now comes the really FUn part!!!]
I think Karl Marx had some valuable insights into capitalist economies!
[With a little luck you hope that Karl Marxism becomes our economic orthodoxy.]
I think abortion should be safe and legal. Rare is fine, too, but the way to achieve that is contraception, baby!
I think Mormons are kooks!
The Second Amendment does too allow government to ban handguns!
[Keep that latter one in mind, you Pennsylvania voters.]
Let's standardize the federal age of consent at 16!
Promiscuity between consenting adults is good exercise!
I don't support the troops. I support some troops, depending on whether or not they've committed war crimes!
[And there will be war crimes trials under an Obama administration.]
The military-industrial complex is a greater menace than most foreign nations!
If Israel isn't out of the occupied territories in six months, we'll cut off all aid.
[Be sure to forward that one to Susan Silverman of the Great Schlep.]
America isn't the greatest nation in the world. We think it is only because it's our country. Duh!
[May we now question your patriotism?]
America's official languages should be English and Spanish!
[Kiss goodbye to some more states and deduct them from the Obama column.]
What's so great about the Judeo-Christian tradition?
Big-city values are better than small-town values!
I'm glad the Muslims whupped the Christians during the Crusades! Served 'em right!
[Which explains why the liberals are rooting for the Islamo-Fascists now.]
I'm not a "progressive," for Pete's sake. I'm a liberal!
I'm not a "liberal," for Pete's sake. I'm a leftist!
I'm not a "leftist," for Pete's sake. I'm a democratic socialist!
I'm not a democratic socialist, for Pete's sake. I'm a Communist! Just kidding!
[You might be just kidding but the DUmmies in DUmmieland are not. Okay, folks, please e-mail this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies around so a lot more people out there can find out what the liberals are planning if Obama wins. And thanx to Slate writer, Timothy Noah, for prematurely releasing the not so hidden liberal agenda. By doing so, you might have pulled the rug from under an Obama victory which you are already celebrating.]
posted by PJ-Comix at 11:33 AM
45 Comments:
Clean-up on aisle 5.
No surprises here what so ever. Not a one.
We're on the cusp of turning this once great, free nation into yet another socialist 'paradise'?
So, how are the DUmmies handling martial law? Didn't they say it was going to begin October 1st? I haven't seen it in the news.
A compendium of liberal cliches, I even agree with a couple of them. However, most are foolish or meaningless and some are dangerous.
Yeah, fear of angering republicans, that is why they can't say these things, riiiiiiiight. I wish they would say them all day long every day. Republicans know this is exactly what they believe. It's Democrats that don't know it.
Saving the boulder darter was worth a few thousand jobs.
Just a few thousand red state rednecks out of work. No one working for Slate (or the New York Times) ever lost their job to an endangered specie.
"A compendium of liberal cliches, I even agree with a couple of them. However, most are foolish or meaningless and some are dangerous."
Exactly. A compendium of liberal cliches. But PJ wants you to understand this as the "hidden liberal agenda". What the...? SO SCARY. The message here is you're supposed to be afraid of this (it's "hidden" after all. That's why it was posted at Slate). You're supposed to get mad about it. You're supposed to understand the mind control you're about to be subject to. And it's all horseshit. This guy at Slate doesn't mean shit to me, troglaman, a liberal hermophradite living in the wilderness in harmony with nature.
Ironically however, my clan has recently discovered 'slate' as a crucial material in the making kick-ass pool tables, no thanks to Mr. Timothy Noah.
I have often referred to you all's strange and yet sensual, longing, dance with fear. Frankly, it's why I think you're all bunch of pussified dumbshits.
I propose that, once Obamas's elected, he initiate "The Pussie Round Up". Demographically, this will appeal to horse ranchers, cattle ranchers, hookers and ex slaves, each having experienced a 'round-up'. But the REAL secret, hidden agenda, is that he'll be rounding your spooked, quivering asses up. Extreme rendition, anyone?
Thanks for paving the way. Really.
The campaign is not over. Just think if it comes out that Ayers wrote Obama's first biography?
http://www.americanthinker.com/2008/10/who_wrote_dreams_from_my_fathe_1.html
This should be distributed as much as possible, since Noah has the arrogance and stupidity to openly state the liberal agenda, including many policies most Americans would strongly oppose. It would be great if that were distributed, and actually cost Obama a lot of voters in November. Noah would be doing his part to hurt his own candidate's cause.
Hello paste eaters, glad to see Slate has you so rattled.
We Libs are looking for additions to our manifesto - taking away your guns and enshrining Carl Marx gets so old....feel free to contribute. The Ayers connection is a nice touch - but lacks creativity. Drinking babies blood's been used too and no one could beat the Shrub in the war crimes category. Come on tap your inner Ann Coulter. We latte swilling elite need your help. I don't think you've even tapped into the Mandingo thing yet....seems like a natural for you knuckle draggers.
"I propose that, once Obamas's elected, he initiate "The Pussie Round Up".
Didn't Clinton already try that?
The great irony, of course, is that if we could get this laughable piece publicized enough so that every voter in America knew what liberals are REALLY thinking ...
They'd lose this election in a massive landslide. And every future election, too.
It's a simple reality: when conservatives act conservative, they win.
For liberals to win, they must HIDE what they believe.
Keep gloating, DUmmies. For what its worth, I think you ARE going to win this election.
And Barack Obama is going to be almost exactly like Jimmy Carter, with the same net result: a massive swing away from liberalism, and 12-16 years of solid conservative government.
President Palin thanks you in advance.
"The message here is you're supposed to be afraid of this"
No, the message here is that the liberals are STILL afraid to publically state their real ideology as they know that is socialism very unpopular here in America and receives little support from the general population. That's why the author remarked that "It still isn't wise for Obama to say them" and also states that "the views expressed don't necessarily reflect those of the contributors" and even goes as far as to resort to personally covering his own ass by ending that statement with "or even me."
Tell me, Trog, if it's PJ who is trying to instill fear in conservatives, and liberals like you are not afraid of little old PJ OR conservatives, then why do they continue to hide behind claims that the things that they are saying don't reflect the things that they believe? They continue to claim that they are that they're "Just kidding," do they not?
Tell me, Trog, who are the ones who are REALLY afraid, them or us?
12:46am - struck out at the gay bar again Trogs? You know, your fellow sphincter spikers don't like Trogolodytes - they go the narcissistic body wax routine.
Shave your back and some groovy guy will make your pillow biting dreams come true!
t-square,
I'm too old to participate in an Obamanista post-inauguration "Pussie Round Up" (either as a rounder or a roundee) besides, my old tom cat would object. I suspect, however, that you've been the victim (willing or otherwise) of more than one round up yourself.
In any event, Noah's liberal wish list is just that; it's a political circle jerk (something you're undoubtedly familiar with)by a bunch of Slaters indulging their politcal fantasies.
"Didn't Clinton already try that?" dumbass
LOL. Yes, he did! I can tell you right now that Monica at 60 would be better than any of you all's crusty-assed pussies.
Funny, dumbass.
"In any event, Noah's liberal wish list is just that; it's a political circle jerk (something you're undoubtedly familiar with)by a bunch of Slaters indulging their politcal fantasies." elrond
We Obamamatics engage in weekly circle jerks. You got a problem with that?
Seriously, our weakness lies in the Mission Accomplished video. It's all about the codpiece. That, my friends, is some fuckin shit. The elders in our clan are done in about 30 seconds. Then we move on to the political considerations.
"Shave your back and some groovy guy will make your pillow biting dreams come true! radical
Are you alluding to those that wish to shave me?
You bastard. I love those guys. They ARE groovy.
Radical isn't yet in touch with his inner homo. Not my fault.
Trog, we can always tell you're out of intellectual ammo when you start spitting out the inane sexual blather. Not that you ever seem to be loaded beyond the Barney Fife level even at your best. Your insults are too stupid to even irritate, I can't seem work up anything to move the dial off "Indifference."
"Trog, we can always tell you're out of intellectual ammo when you start spitting out the inane sexual blather." dumbass
The thought of you thinking about my intellectual blather drives me insane. Keep talking.
Ultimately it comes down to this- you still shit your pants whenever someone brings up socialism. Its known that socialism has not had the most successful history in the world, however, that is all directly tied to the erring of the humans involved in it; a challenge that any form of government must overcome, but that socialism has failed to do.
In principles of socialism are wonderful ideas (as it basically amounts to, equality for everyone), and though humanity may be far to corrupt to ever actually institute it in a truly pure form, it is not impossible for socialist ideas to be applied to government.
Socialism is taboo simply because we spent a long time fighting corrupt communist powers, and rather than focus on the often complex reasons for this struggle, both sides governments preferred to simplify the conflict as being a struggle of two forms of government (not that it wasn't, but the issues were far more complicated than reds vs americans), one of which would do anything in its power to change the other government into its own form.
Arguments against socialist leanings are the consequence of a continued paranoia that Americans need to just give up.
On another issue, you mentioned something about patriotism above that I would like to address: patriotism has allowed more wars to happen than socialism has started.
I guess they must have free wi-fi at the Man-Hole.
"Ultimately it comes down to this- you still shit your pants whenever someone brings up socialism." anon
Anon's right. You do. Admit it you jerkass pussies. Booga Booga.
We're socializing banks and other financial entities. Right? Is anyone stupid enough to refute that notion? The VA is a socialist enterprise. When Obama refers to "the same insurance John McCain and I enjoy", he's talking about the VA.
I think many of you are somewhat disturbed with the obvious socialization of the financial backbone of this country.
Your problem is that you don't know who fucked it up. You don't know. That's the bigger problem.
"... In principles of socialism are wonderful ideas ..."
What an ignorant putz!
What's wonderful about working your ass off and having the gubmint take half of your hard earned pay to prop up some "baby momma" with 12 kids and a crack addiction she spends all the money on -- money that the gubmint stole from you?
What's wonderful about spending your hard earned money on a choice piece of property, only to have the f'n gubmint tell you you can't build a house on it because of some fucking grasshopper?
What's wonderful about having equally bad health care and insurance because the gubmint has driven out all competition between insurance companies and health care providers in favor of a bunch of gubmint-dole slackers who don't give a shit about you?
What's so wonderful about centralized gubmint planning of the economy that has destroyed so much wealth in every country that has tried it?
Even the Chinese have figured out that Capitalism creates wealth rather than destroying it like communism and socialism do.
Too bad all the privileged college kids are brainwashed into guilt about their good fortune by the same marxist, anti-rationalist, existentialist, filthy hippies and beatniks from the 50s and 60s who rule the universities.
"... it [socialism] basically amounts to, equality for everyone ..."
Yeah, that's great! Make everybody equally poor, so the slackers don't feel bad about their poverty.
Suppress those with extraordinary talent and intellect and promote those with no talent, intellect, or initiative. When the resulting "dumbing down" of society becomes too unequal again, then lower the standards further so those at the left end of the distribution curve "feel good" about themselves.
Socialism and collectivism makes everybody equally ignorant, irrational, and poor. What a great system!
"... patriotism has allowed more wars to happen than socialism has started ..."
What horseshit! Marxist/socialist altruism is responsible for the last 60 years of war. The concept that our military should be used to "right the wrongs" in the world is the spawn of such altruistic horseshit.
Marxists, socialists and communists have killed and starved hundreds of millions over the last 91+ years. No other philosophy in the history of Man has been responsible for such bloodletting and wholesale extermination of people.
The fact that they do so within their own borders enables the willfully ignorant leftist douchebags to claim that such extermination pogroms are not war, but rather the idealistic adjustments required to bring forth the workers paradise.
"... When Obama refers to "the same insurance John McCain and I enjoy", he's talking about the VA. ..."
No he's not. Obama is NOT eligible to use the VA facilities or services. McQueeg is eligible, but doesn't use the VA because the health care is so spotty.
Members of Congress (and other Federal employees) use the Federal Employees Health Benefits Program which allows them to choose from 11 different health care plans. http://www.opm.gov/insure/HEALTH/index.asp
It's socialist only in the sense that taxpayers (not the Federal employees) pay not only for the health care itself, but also for something like 75% of the premiums for the insurance programs.
"No he's not. Obama is NOT eligible to use the VA facilities or services. McQueeg is eligible, but doesn't use the VA because the health care is so spotty." mr galt
Wrong. Big John Sydney got VA care bigtime and you know it. Both John Sydney and Barak Hussein are getting the health care package given to each and every senator.
What the hell's gotten into you, mr galt? You've suddenly become like a diseased or wounded member of a hunted herd. Please tell me it isn't true.
According to your rules mr galt, your impaired and disabled presence threatens the prime imperative and, therefore, you must be eliminated. Do I have that right?
But yet you fight on. I salute you, my friend.
The VA is not the same as the FEHBP t-man. The FEHBP is the plan "each and every senator" is using.
While McQueeg did indeed use VA care after returning from Nam and before retiring from the Navy (i.e., BEFORE he was eligible for "the health care package given to each and every senator"), he has been eligible to use the FEHBP which offers better options and indeed better facilities and doctors than the VA. I doubt very seriously McQueeg still uses the VA.
What's the matter with ME??? Did you forget how to read? Or is your eyesight failing?
I'm pissed about the whole situation -- a presidential choice between a guy who obviously doesn't want the job and is irrational and demented to boot versus a guy who is in the pocket (and was the boy-toy in his youth) of a bunch of Marxists and anarchists.
I'm pissed that those assholes appear to have manufactured the financial crisis as part of their strategy over the last 40 years to destroy this country and Capitalism.
I'm pissed that ignorant dumbasses looking for a free lunch have seen Obama and his Marxist asshole friends as the salvation of this country.
That's what's the matter with me.
"What's wonderful about working your ass off and having the gubmint take half of your hard earned pay to prop up some "baby momma" with 12 kids and a crack addiction she spends all the money on -- money that the gubmint stole from you?" galt
You need to understand something, my little eel. What's wonderful is working your ass off and having the gubmint wage a trillion dollar crazy war and deregulate an industry that now demands a trillion dollar "rescue". Who, you dumbest of all dumbshits, is going to pay for this? And your worried about Welfare? Crack kids? Your priorities are so fucked up and backwards that it boggles the mind. You've already raised taxes to the n'th degree, you stupid, stupid jerkoff.
What none of you address, none of you, is who is going to pay, out of pocket, for this bullshit. You are. Your kids are. Your grand kids are. Thanks for the bill you fucking stupid assed jokers. Any argument about taxes is now null and void because you've already raised them to the point where every living American is on the hook. Fuck you. You deserve Iraq. You deserve Wall Street. You deserve the abject failure because you believed in the principles that built this house of cards. Own it, you crusty pussies. Own it. Man-Up.
"...a presidential choice between a guy who obviously doesn't want the job and is irrational and demented to boot versus a guy who is in the pocket (and was the boy-toy in his youth) of a bunch of Marxists and anarchists." galt
You're crazy. Do you have a sliver of truth about Obama being a sexually abused boy toy under the watchful eye of Marxists and anarchists? Are you at all aware of how you nuts you sound?
Let's change the subject. How 'bout the Keating 5, galt. Give a rundown of the whole affair. Let's talk.
"... Do you have a sliver of truth about Obama being a sexually abused boy toy under the watchful eye of Marxists and anarchists? ..." t-man
http://www.nationalenquirer.com/obama_sex_perv_scandal/celebrity/65575
http://www.usasurvival.org/docs/Rpt_Davis_Sex.pdf
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/uselection2008/barackobama/2601914/Frank-Marshall-Davis-alleged-Communist-was-early-influence-on-Barack-Obama.html
http://www.aim.org/aim-column/obamas-red-mentor-was-a-pervert/
"... You deserve the abject failure because you believed in the principles that built this house of cards. ..."
It is the failure of the altruistic philosophy we are witnessing troggie. That is, the failure of the welfare state. When everybody is on welfare, who produces the wealth that is being "redistributed?"
Socialism and marxism aren't about empowering the poor or middle class; they are about fighting over who is in control of the nation's wealth. The socialists and marxists deplore and demonize materialism in their rhetoric, but their whole objective is to control the wealth of the nation. Too bad the moochers buy into the looters' idealistic lies!
The SDS assholes merely applied the strategy of holding the altruists up to their highest ideals and agitated for increasing the burden on the welfare infrastructure (including so-called "affordable housing") to the point of its collapse. Read the article on Saul Alinsky here:
http://www.discoverthenetworks.org/individualProfile.asp?indid=2314
You'll recognize instantly the tactics of ACORN, Code Pink, PETA, Green Peace, and other radical assholes who've burdened taxpayers and their progeny with so much debt.
When 45% of the wage-earners in this country are paying 0% of the income taxes and the top 1% are paying 28%, that's hardly "Fair" is it?
"When everybody is on welfare, who produces the wealth that is being "redistributed?" galt
Everybody's not on welfare. Got that? Taking care of ourselves would cost a fraction of what Iraq costs.
You don't factor in what you've supported, mr galt. These wars involve sacrifice. You can't fight two wars with the majority of your forces and not pay for it. To believe anything otherwise is absolute folly.
Who pays for these wars? They're not free. And if we have decided to fight them, then why are you baby-whiners so unwilling to pay for them?
You all make me sick. Really. You won't sacrifice. You'll bitch about the fact that your fucked up ideology cost every living American tens of thousands of dollars and you don't take one iota of responsibility. You'll bitch about taxes (even though you're the stupid fuckers that put us in the position of having to pay off your tremendous fucking debt) and then call for even less taxes, less responsibility. It's beyond nuts.
But carry on. You all make me smarter by the minute.
"... Taking care of ourselves would cost a fraction of what Iraq costs. ..."
Were you a breach baby t-man? You certainly turn everything ass-backwards.
Look at the facts: Medicare and Social Security (two major welfare programs) comprise 68% of the Federal budget each year. The entire military spending, including the costs of Iraq and Afghanistan comprise 15% of the Federal budget.
"...You'll bitch about the fact that your fucked up ideology cost every living American tens of thousands of dollars ..."
Again, you got that ass-backwards. It is the socialistic bailout that will cost us. The f'n gubmint should stay the hell out of the economy! Every major recession, depression, and financial panic this country has witnessed in its history can be traced to dumbass political attempts to control the economy.
"Were you a breach baby t-man?"
Correction: Were you a breech baby t-man?
"I'm pissed that ignorant dumbasses looking for a free lunch have seen Obama and his Marxist asshole friends as the salvation of this country. That's what's the matter with me." mr galt
You think our problems result from Obmananistic, Marxist, assholes looking for a free lunch?
Yes. That's exactly what you think and precisely what's wrong with you. That and the fact that you can't recognize you're psychotic. The latter's probably the bigger problem.
"Medicare and Social Security (two major welfare programs) comprise 68% of the Federal budget each year." mr galt
A complete, total, ass-wumping lie. A lie.
Shame on you, mr galt.
Notice he didn't respond.
Pussy.
"Notice he didn't respond.
Pussy." - t-man
Lol! :D
First, I'm pretty certain that few here can describe the difference between Marxism and Socialism. Secondly, I'm pretty sure that most of you rely on that Government(which is supposed to be all of us) to make sure that your food and water is safe, to make sure the bridges you cross won't fall into the water, to make sure there is police and fire protection, etc. That costs money--it's called taxes. We all use these things, we should all pay for these things. Label it however you like. I call it fair and just, and if you look in your Bible you might find Jesus to be a "socialist" as well.
By the way-- I do wonder how may of you who claim to be patriotic have even read the Constitution. I'm a proud liberal with a B.A. M.A. and a J.D. My little kiddo can recite the first, fourth, and fourteenth amendments by heart, and with passion. He's just 10. I wonder if you can match his intellect or understanding of that great document.
By the way--there is no such thing as Islamo-fascism. Fascism is the merging of government and corporate interests. That has nothing to do with theocracy. Prescott Bush was Hitlers's banker. They go back a long way.
You may remember that we fought with the "communist" Soviet Union in WWII, against the fascist Hitler.
You should also remember that Hitler, with all his anti-semitism, considered himself a "Christian."
Hitler was not Muslim, he was not a Communist. Quite the opposite, and yet you continue to conflagrate all these terms. Shame on you for being so very stupid, and for spreading your lies.
Memorization equals indoctrination. How well does your 10 year old UNDERSTAND the REASON behind those amendments? How well does your 10 year old understand the REASON behind the Declaration of Independence and the US Constitution.
Memorization is for insects.
I really like when people are expressing their opinion and thought. So I like the way you are writing
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