Monday, November 29, 2010

William Rivers Pitt BRIEFLY Quits Smoking

William Rivers Pitt has vowed to quit smoking. Since he made this pledge yesterday in this THREAD, "I. Am. Trying. To. Quit. Smoking." it means he has probably already relapsed and is sucking up the cancer fumes like a hungry vacuum. Pitt's unhealthy smoking habits have already been the subject of a DUFU EDITION last year when it was noticed that his vocal chords are being eaten away by nicotine which will most likely lead to a hole in the throat operation. You can HEAR just how deteriorated Pitt's throat was which was so raspy back then that I figure that by now he is only about a thousand packs away from getting that hole in his throat. Since Pitt smokes at least 3 packs per day, that gives him only another year until his date with that throat hole. The good news for Pitt, is that after his operation, he will have a "hole" new career as a SINGING COWBOY. So let us now watch Pitt as he desperately tries to quit tobacco in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, whose lungs remain as pinkly pure as that of an innocent Mormon, is in the [brackets]:

I. Am. Trying. To. Quit. Smoking.

[You. Have. Already. Relapsed.]

After. 20. Years.

[So despite ALL the warnings on every pack of cigarettes you JUST NOW have decided to quit smoking after all these years? What caused the need to quit? Hearing the sound of your own voice which have been eaten away by cancerous fumes?]

I. Am. Officially. An. Insane. Person. Now.

[You. Were. Officially. Insane. Long. Ago.]

Need. Lounge. Vibes. Desperately.

[Let's drop the pretenses. You need a CANCER STICK right now! Light 'er up and suck down those unhealthy fumes! Inhale deeply and hold it in your lungs until the smoke permeates every last pore.]

Must. Now. Go. Outside. And. Gnaw. Down. Trees. Like. A. Beaver.

[Like. A. Li'l. Beaver.]

Argh. Argh. Argh. Argh. Argh. Argh. Argh.

[We pause now as Pitt coughs up cancerous phlegm which drools down his shirt.]

(and the weirdest part is that I'm coughing now more than I ever did when I smoked...and you don't want to know what I'm coughing up...bleh...)

[Let me guess. Chunks of diseased lungs?]

(...sorry, TMI...)


[Bleh! Heh! Heh! Heh! And now to the rest of the DUmmies...]

Patch - cheap one at the grocery store. I have made two more attempts this month. This weekend I had 3 smokes from Thursday to this morning. The patch works. You do have to get over the "Taking a break" aspect of smoking and the dreams you have if you wear it at night can be beyond VIVID. I am having some today and then quitting tomorrow for good.

[So 3 tries this month and you relapsed 3 times in your latest attempt just since Thursday. Not exactly a great track record there yet you somehow think you will quit for good tomorrow. I smell RELAPSE here for sure.]

There is always the substitution method. Exercise, heroin, crack...weed, shock therapy, hypnosis, acupuncture, bungee jumping, running, tabata, etcetera.

[Pitt can do the weed, heroin and crack part for sure.]

I quit 15 years ago but I had help. I think it's called Chantix now.

[Are you sure it isn't called Crack now?]

Chantrix scares me. My friend's brother is an airline pilot, and the FAA banned the stuff for any working pilots. If you have even a whiff of a psychological imbalance, that stuff has the potential to send you pinwheeling.

[Which means you would be pinwheeling up the walls, Pitt, and screaming about the rise of the Third American Empire.]

You can do it! You will cough up horrible stuff for many days, but you will get through.

[Pitt coughs up horrible stuff whenever he posts his overlong TruthOut columns.]

Best of luck! You will thank yourself in 20 years when you are still alive and breathing!

[...Through your throat hole.]

good luck -- it's not easy but if you make it -- oy -- will you have something to crow about. -- it's a big deal.

[Pitt had more than his share of crow to eat following May 12, 2006.]

The last cigarette I had was...Sept. 13, 2010, haven't had one since. I know, I know I'm a newbie, but I figured I'd tell you what helped me. Pretzel rods,

[Chewing on Pretzel rods? Is that you Ben Burch?]

On a side note, quitting pot is much easier, so maybe switch to that for awhile.

[And if that doesn't work, maybe switch to crack.]

My goddaughter made it a day and a half until this afternoon before getting another pack.

[She probably beat Pitt's endurance record.]

Good luck, Will. Quit on Inauguration Day after 15 years of smoking.

[Ironically the Inauguration Day of a president who CAN'T quit smoking.]

Sunday, November 28, 2010

The DUmmies are revolting!

The DUmmies are revolting! Again! Once more the cry goes out, "To the streets! Man the barricades! Liberté! Égalité! Fraternité!" The oppressed masses are RISING UP!

The call to revolution comes in response to the utter FRUSTRATION voiced by DUmmie Cyrano in this
THREAD, "Why are we letting ourselves get screwed … and screwed … and screwed?"

Do you hear the DUmmies sing? It is the stuff in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, letting the DUmmies know they can start the revolution without me, is in the [brackets]:

Why are we letting ourselves get screwed … and screwed … and screwed?

[How many DUmmies does it take to screw themselves? All of them!]

I believe the answer is because we are both unwilling and unable to do anything about it.

[Democratic Uninvolved.]

Who’s destroying our country and our lives? We know a few names like the Koch Brothers and Rupert Murdoch. But most of them are faceless, nameless, incredibly wealthy people.

[THEY are destroying us! RICH people, without faces, without names!]

But even if we had the names of our owners, what would we do about it? My guess is, not a damn thing.

[An indirect challenge by Cyrano to rise up and DU something!]

Somewhere along the way, we lost the ability and the knowledge of how to stand up to oppressors. . . . We’re on our own, we’re being raped, pillaged and plundered, and we are doing absolutely nothing to put an end to it.

[Shake, rattle, and roll. Rape, pillage, and plunder. It's what we oppressors do.]

So here’s my question for anyone who thinks they have an answer. Given the vast power arrayed against us, what can we do to salvage what’s left of our country and our own well being?

[Is this a trick question? . . . Now let's see what answers the oppressed masses have . . .]

simple: demand campaign finance reform and a return of the Fairness Doctrine

[Well, that's simple! One, two, and we're done!]

the people have been duped into believing . . . that challenging power is "crazy", yet Europeans do it successfully all the time.

[DUmmies are all Euro-wannabes.]

This country's not going to turn itself around until we see a few good riots in the streets.

[To the streets! DUmmie backscatter712 issues the call!]

Riots in the streets will be put down with maximum force and brutality.

[Oh, Cyrano, you're such a Debbie Downer!]

We can vote, donate, give our time. Call, write letters . . . it's worked well so far.

[I detect a note of sarcasm.]

It's not difficult to find out who "they" are.

[Look for rich people with no names and no faces.]

Nobody's coming to our rescue, if we can't help ourselves. Don't wait for some sort of messiah and don't get too deeply invested in charismatic "hope and change" figures. You are the revolution.

[Remember that, DUmmies: YOU are the revolution! Doesn't that just fill you with confidence?]

The rich are merely the most successful con men, thieves and sociopaths. You cannot (99% of the time anyway) get to be rich without lying, cheating, stealing and generally conning people out of their money. There isn't a single multi-millionaire in this nation that is not guilty of at least one of those and probably all of them on a daily basis.

[Class warfare much?]

So the question becomes, why riot? Why not assault their mansions and put all the wealthy crooks under citizens arrest and take back out country!!!

[Citizen's arrest! Citizen's arrest! < /pyle> ]

Tear down their walls, put them under siege. . . . They all are guilty of crimes against humanity. . . . Jail them all!!!

[To The Hague with the lot of 'em!]

Brothers and sisters in the military and police, join with us when the time is right.

[I'm sure they're listening.]

There is a good chance that they'll side with us and march along side us to the houses of the rich.

[I can see it now . . . in Fantasyland!]

Are you suggesting a "Rambo-like" solution?

[I think it's more like a DUmbo-like solution.]

The immediate result would be anarchy. And after that, who knows?

[Like this is really going to happen in the first place!]

Disunity among the screwees.

[I think you're all pretty screwy!]

Too many of the screwees think they are "standing up for freedom" by bending over for exploitation.

[That's how benburch rolls.]

Dumbed down schools where "making the grade" - AVERAGE - is considered a resounding SUCCESS!! . . . This carries over into sports. Everyone gets a trophy just for SHOWING UP. The kid who whines . . . the kids who bust their ass on every single drill, every single play - get the same stupid trophy. . . . So the ones who aren't "so smart" want everything the the "smart" ones do - but they're not willing - and not even capable - of working for it. . . . They want to drag us all down to their level.

[Thank you. You have just described succinctly the problem with socialism.]

ap x pe = tp (amount of pain multiplied by the number of people experiencing that pain equals the tipping point)

[IQ x 00 = DU]

I think the word I'm really searching for is brainwashed...and in an odd way, naive.

[I think the word I'm really searching for is brain-dead...and in an odd way, NUTS!]

Direct action in our local communities. . . . Strikes. Boycotts. SPONTANEOUS protests. Mass Civil Disobedience.


For whatever it's worth, our species has been screwing the planet and each other since we gained sentience all those millenia ago. There's just more of us and we talk about it more now. . . . The revolution ain't coming any time soon.

[Tomorrow's revolution has been canceled due to lack of interest.]

democrats sold their soles for campaign money.

[And so they were defeeted.]

They always screw enough to hurt but not enough to break.

[Mr. Ben LIKE it like dat!]

Shut the f***ers down. STOP watching tv, STOP buying their crap, STOP supporting anything those bastards do. . . .

[Not One D*mn Anything!]

They are already winding us down and have robbed us significant resources to affect their plans, which means they no longer significantly care if we feed their beast.

[They! I hate Them!]

Their tentacles are already stretched around the globe. . . . Do you suppose it's possible that UFOs are actually watching us to make sure the vultures can't escape from this planet to loot other civilizations out there?

[They want to loot Uranus!]

At this point we should be aggressively in the streets. . . .

[Instead, we're sitting in our basements posting about a fantasy revolution that isn't going to happen.]

Direct action in your spare time isn't going to do much good as long as you support them 40-60 hours a week at your day job. . . . Do what you have to do in your own life to be able to implement, on demand, a general corporate strike. Don't work for them. . . .

[Not One D*mn Job! That'll show Them!]

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

DUmmies are getting ready for Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is always such a special time in DUmmieland. Even now, the DUmmies are getting ready for this most traditional of American holidays. Tonight, for example, the children are doing their annual Pilgrims-and-Indians pageant at school. And then on Thursday, the Day of National Thanksgiving itself, Mom and Dad DUmmie will get little Billy and Susie dressed neat and nice, and they'll all bundle into the family station wagon and head for church. There they'll give thanks to God for his many blessings on this great country of ours, as they sing those familiar hymns, "Come, Ye Thankful People, Come" and "Now Thank We All Our God." After church, then it's on to Grandma and Grandpa's for the big Thanksgiving dinner. Grandpa leads the table grace, and--

Oh, wait! Wrong universe! That's the way Thanksgiving is SUPPOSED to be celebrated! But this is DUmmieland we're talking about. And things there are a little . . . different. As we will see in this
THREAD from DUmmie cherokeeprogressive, "In the coming week, it's going to be hard for lots of people to find something to be thankful for. . . ."

So let us adjust our minds to the alternate reality of a DUmmieland Thanksgiving, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who WILL be going to church and singing those hymns on Thursday morning, is in the [brackets]:

In the coming week, it's going to be hard for lots of people to find something to be thankful for...

[For the DUmmies, it's hard to find someONE (i.e., God) to be thankful TO.]

Wars are still waging, and our young treasure will be in harm's way; some of them will perish for what most of us find to be no good reason at all.

[National defense is overrated. To quote Dear Leader, "We can absorb a terrorist attack."]

Unemployment is still hurting good people and their families.

[Except for the DUmmies who get to live in Mom's basement.]

Misinformation and propaganda will be spoon fed to us on a daily basis.

[MSNBC is still in business.]

In the midst of all that and a THOUSAND other things that should cause us worry and hard feelings. . . .

[A Thousand Points of Plight.]

I propose a small ray of light we can all grab onto and hold dear...

[Faith in Almighty God?]

DU is here.

[Oh, what was I THINKING?? Of COURSE! "DU is here." THAT is our one great consolation in times of distress!! THANK you, DUmmie cherokeeprogressive, for that much-needed reminder! Yes, DU is HERE! I feel so much better!]

It's the one place where we can come . . . and find someone who thinks the way we do.

[That should tell you something.]

For lots of us, this is Home.

[Your online group home.]

here's a place where you can put your foot in your mouth one day . . .

[And then, the next day, you can put your other foot in there, too!]

I'm lucky in that my family and friends, no matter how ideologically diverse we may be, can put aside political differences and enjoy each other's company for a day, have dinner, good conversation, and argue (agreeably) about any number of things . . .

[That's about 180 degrees OPPOSITE of what happens with most DUmmies interacting with their extended family.]

from whether Boise State deserves a place in the BCS Championship Game or not . . .

[Idaho whether they deserve it or not. But, as they say, Boise will be Boise.]

to WHO caught the biggest fish during last year's camping trip.


So for all of us, I propose that we hold one thing dear: DU.

[Dear DU! Dear, dear DU! Where would we be without you?]

Go. Have dinner. Bite your tongue.

[Ouch! I hate when that happens!]

Kiss and hug those friends and family you hold dearest and enjoy the opportunity to commune with them. Tolerate those you don't, for their sake.

[Just kind of wave at them a little, from across the room.]

When it's all said and done? Come back to DU, and let it all out.

[Yes, please do! That's always a highlight. On the day after Thanksgiving, many DUmmies boast about how obnoxious they were in confronting their Rethuglican relatives. Or else they will tell how they converted one of them to progressivism. Confronting or converting Rethuglican relatives is a big theme on the day after Thanksgiving. Hence, we here at DUmmie FUnnies always look forward to Brag Friday!]

Either vent over the foolish uncle who insists that Faux Snooze is the way, the light, and the truth, or gush over your young neice or nephew who espouses all the ideals you think every human should live by.

[In any case, lie and make things up to make yourself look good!]

Either way, come back. Come home. You know there is ALWAYS someone on DU who will agree with you, no matter what an ass you were. . . .

[We're one big association of asses!]

Be thankful for that. Be thankful for places like DU.

[The true meaning of Thanksgiving. . . . Well, that was cherokeeprogressive's opening post. But now, in the replies, she mentions who all's coming for dinner . . .]

We're having a small Thanksgiving this year... My Gay Daughter, her Transgender BFF, my Sister, and my Nephew.

["My gay daughter" and "her transgender BFF"?? What's THAT?? What's a "transgender BFF"? A "BoyFriend Female"? A "Butch-Fem Freak"? And if you've got a homosexual daughter, which "gender" would her BFF "trans" to? I'm so confused!]

My only worry this year is that Chris, my Daughter's BFF, is a Cowboy fan.

[You've got a homosexual daughter, and she's bringing over a "transgender BFF," whatever that is, and your only worry is that this "Chris" follows a certain football team?? . . . Another DUmmie responds to cherokeeprogressive . . .]

you want I should kick some BFF Cowboy fan ass, cp? LEMME AT HIM/HER

[Even this DUmmie doesn't know what to call it! . . . Back to cherokeeprogressive . . .]

I support Chris for all he's done to become the man he wants to be. . . .

[Keep telling yourself: Democrats are just like us. . . . ]

My dear cherokeeprogressive!

[That could only be . . . CaliforniaPeggy!]

We will luckily be spending our Thanksgiving with some almost family and they agree with us politically. . . .

[Our real family thinks we're NUTS!]

I am so thankful for DU...It changed my life, and that's no joke.

[We're thankful for DU, too, BECAUSE it's a joke!]

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

[Thanks be to Gaia!]

All the Best to You Peg... Ya know, there isn't another DU'er whose kind words can illicit such warm fuzzy goose-bumpy feelings!

[Illicit goose-bumps! Only on DU!]

Friday, November 19, 2010

Perpetrator of Rove Indictment Hoax Sermonizes About Morality

Who should be the LAST person in the world to sermonize about political morality? If you had answered WILLIAM RIVERS PITT you would be correct. However, that is exactly what Pitt did in his SERMON titled, "Hateful Days." Pitt just loves to point his finger castigating tons of folks (conservatives) but the ONE opportunity he had to APOLOGIZE for the fraud he committed with partner-in-crime, Jason Leopold, ended up as one overlong self-pitying WHINE best described as a partial birth non-apology. For those still unfamiliar with this particular piece of Pitt fraud, Will declared on May 13, 2006 that Karl Rove had ALREADY been indicted on May 12, 2006. When nothing happened in the days that followed, rather than own up to his fraud, Pitt pretended that the indictment would be revealed in 24 BUSINESS hours. Mighty long business hours since we are still waiting for both the indictment as well as Pitt's apology. Yeah, Will did go into hiding from the shame for awhile but he soon returned and regressed to his finger-pointing lecturing while conveniently NEVER referring to the FRAUD that he perpetrated. So this latest sermon in deep hypocritical mode is nothing new for Pitt but since he continues to engage in such sermonizing, I won't be hesitating to point out the utter hypocrisy he presents. So let us now watch the Karl Rove Indictment Scoop Hoaxster deliver yet another sermon about morality in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, giving a shoutout to BoBo the Hobo, is in the [brackets]:

Hateful Days

[Hateful Days starting with the Day of May 12, 2006.]

There is a great deal of hate in my heart today.

[You HATE the fact that the exposure of your journalistic HOAX has condemned you to remain forever a sad joke.]

Not the healthiest condition to find myself in, but these things sometimes cannot be helped. The hate is a free-flowing thing, expanding in all directions because, simply put, there is something to revile and despise in virtually every direction I turn.

[Any hate directed toward your hoaxster partner in crime, Jason Leopold?]

Sarah Palin's ridiculous reality show was a ratings blockbuster. Hateful.

[William Pitt's indictment scoop was a hoax. Hateful.]

George H. W. Bush is getting the Presidential Medal of Freedom, because Mr. Obama just can't help sucking up to the very Republicans who are about to make a project out of throttling his administration. Hateful.

[William Rivers Pitt getting credibility when he perpetrated his hoax. Hateful.]

There will be no punishment for those who destroyed CIA evidence of rampant torture during the Bush administration. Wildly hateful.

[And where is your EVIDENCE that Karl Rove was indicted on May 12, 2006?]

One cannot swing one's dead cat by the tail these days without striking something that makes me want to give up on this tepid reporting job and take up firebombing.

[What REALLY makes you want to take up firebombing is your realization that your HOAX destroyed any real career you fantasized about in journalism. Oh, and you also pretty much poisoned your well as far as a political career is concerned.]

Barring that, the only other reasonable solution would seem to be undertaking a deep and profound heroin habit. Just shoot up and float away, leave all this mad and awful noise behind and go chase the dragon for a bit.

[Bizarre. Pitt actually fantasizing about shooting up with dirty heroin needles. Ah, the "good" life is only a shot away!]

Why not? Thanks to our Afghanistan adventure, there is a glut of the stuff on the world market. It makes perfect sense, in a way; where is the fun in enduring a massive global economic and political meltdown and rampant joblessness without an ample, cheap supply of good smack?

[Pontificated Pitt between crack pipe hits.]

Heroin is bad for you, I know. But so is politics. These days, both are equally poisonous to the body and soul.

[Doesn't shooting up with heroin make your voice unusually hoarse? Perhaps Pitt's raspy voice is not all due to just desperately sucking on the cancer sticks.]

More than half the members of Congress are millionaires - 261 of them, to be exact - which puts the stalled conversation on erasing the Bush-era tax breaks for the wealthy into much greater and more nauseating perspective.

[And how many in Congress are useless Trust Fund Kids? You're the expert on that subject, Pitt.]

The Democrats squandered this sure-fire winner of an issue in the run-up to the midterms (two-thirds of Americans want those tax cuts repealed) while simultaneously dropping the ball on extending the tax cuts for the middle class. Why, we asked? What's the point? Did they want to lose in November? No, I suppose they didn't...but it sure looks now like they want to be rich more than they want to be in the majority, and the rest of us, again, are left to suck on it.

[You need not fear, Pitt. Your Holy Trust Fund payments will be unaffected by taxes. Your smart family lawyers worked that out for you.]

The Democrats...ah, yes, the Democrats. Seldom in history has there been a larger collection of utterly useless people than the motley mob of elected officials who rally under the banner of the Democratic Party. They had the House, the Senate, the White House and put two new Justices on the Supreme Court, and yet with all that power and influence, found themselves blown out yet again in a midterm election. It's not that they were ineffective during those years - quite the contrary, in fact. But if a tree falls in the forest and the media doesn't report on it, did it happen? The virtual blackout of reporting on what the Democrats got done can certainly be blamed to a degree on the "mainstream" news media, but it goes far beyond that, and must in the end be laid at the feet of a hapless party and a president who appears to have attended the Blind, Deaf 'n Dumb School of Political Messaging.

[The Trust Fund Kid is from the just DUmb School of Political Messaging.]

During the dark days of the Great Depression, President Roosevelt pushed through a massive slate of federal programs aimed at getting the economy back on its feet. There was serious right-wing resistance to these programs, just as there is today, but with one vital difference. Back then, Roosevelt and his administration made damned sure the American people knew where and how they were being helped by these programs, and who exactly was providing that help. The Nation's Stephen Duncombe explained it thusly:

[Roosevelt entered office in 1933. Did the Depression end that year? Nope. 1934? Nope. 1935? Nope. 1936? Nope. 1937? Nope...In fact it got WORSE that year. 1938? Nope? 1939? Nope? 1940? Nope. 1941? FINALLY after all those years the Depression begins to end...Thanx to WWII. LONGEST depression in American history by far.]

Today, most Americans think Mr. Obama was the one who pushed the TARP bailout through. Most Americans are not aware that the Obama administration orchestrated a tax cut for 95% of Americans. Most Americans don't know a damned thing about the ways they are being helped and bettered by the accomplishments of the Obama administration and this last Congress, and that is because Mr. Obama and his friends in Congress failed utterly to tell them about it.

[We won't fail to tell the public about the HOAX your perpetrated about Karl Rove's indictment.]

President Roosevelt can be heard spinning in his grave; politics is not just about policy, a fact FDR knew well, but is also about messaging and explanation. The Democrats have fallen short on any number of issues, but they have not been abject failures by any stretch, and the reason they appear to be so today is almost entirely their fault. When you run the whole government, there are plenty of ways to get the media to cover your work the way you want it covered (Fox News notwithstanding). There are plenty of ways to inform the people of what you’ve been up to, as FDR so clearly proved. They didn't get this done, in any way at all, and that failure is about to reap bloody dividends.

["I pulled that day, in fact, what may stand as my first and, arguably, most formidable Full F*ckup on DU. I posted a thread stating flatly that we all had to stand behind the President during this time. Bigass bold-lettered post. It seemed the thing to do, given what was happening. I don't know about you, but politics took a back seat to thinking about rescuing survivors and going down to the hospital to give blood...and some of the hard truths about what was really going on were still out there in the fog, and all I was thinkiing was "Gotta get through this," and so there was that post."]

What was it Mick Jagger said? "I'll be in my basement room, with a needle and a spoon..."

["Somewhere in the last couple of years, I became a name. I worked very hard to make that happen, to be sure. 18 hours a day, 350,000 miles across to and from pretty much every state in the nation...hell, we all started here wanting to do something about what was happening, and I did my small part to take up that call, and in the process managed to become a writer and a speaker that others looked to. I wouldn't be doing *any* of this, probably, if it wasn't for DU. I decided to try to do something, and managed to work myself into a position where I could."]

At first blush, this story offers nothing more than another reason to let the hate flow freely. A library groundbreaking for George W. Bush? What will the exhibits be made of? The bones of murdered Iraqi civilians and the folded flags of dead American soldiers? Maybe they can have a wing dedicated to shredded bits of the Constitution his administration treated with such overwhelming disdain. The very thought of such a place being erected makes me want to break things.

["The sticky part came when I forgot that I could no longer be "just another DUer" and couldn't let fly whenever I chose. You know what I mean, because if you've spent any time here, you've done this. Yes, you have. You get angry about the news, the state of things, some Democratic failure to act, and maybe you get a glass of wine into you, and you flame away on the keyboard...and then come back the next day hoping nobody remembers or gives a damn that you were throwing haymakers and acting the fool."]

The pictures of the protesters, however, tell a different story: clad in black with featureless white masks, they served to remind Mr. Bush, Mr. Cheney and the rest of us that the ghosts of the last decade do not lie easily in their mass grave, that the perpetrators of gross crimes will be pursued by the people for as long as they draw breath, and that the truth of it all is not yet buried. These are hateful days, but once again, it is a person like Cindy Sheehan who shows us the way.

["The stickier wicket, aw hell, let's be honest and call it the stickiest wicket, came when I posted the truthout story that Karl Rove had been indicted. Another thread in big block letters."]

Hunter S. Thompson once said, "One of the basic rules of politics is Action Moves Away from the Center. The middle of the road is only popular when nothing is happening." Well, there is plenty going on today, and the middle of the road is now good only for long yellow stripes. Yes, I hate, with depth and passion, and have much cause to do so. But if those protesters at the Bush Library teach us anything, it is that hate must be channeled if it is to have any real effect. Theirs was an eloquent protest, and ours must be the same.

["For clarity: Truthout stands by this story, today as yesterday, as described on the blog page. Period, end of file. I am not speaking for them in any official capacity, because this is a personal thread, but I can read the TO blog as clearly as you can. If you want more than that, consult an astrologist, or talk to someone besides me. Read the first sentence of this paragraph again if further clarity is required on the basic premise."]

No retreat, the man once said. No surrender.

["I am not going to engage in any back-and-forth about how TO handled and/or reported the story, and if you're looking for that brawl, look elsewhere. TO stands by the story, and that's where it's at, period. The truth will out when Fitz is ready to share." ...And now the other DUmmies respond to the Whining Hypocrite... ]

I am very sad that you had to write this...

["When this story pans out, and all the little fish try to swim home, I am going to say "Sorry, you had the chance to stand with an ally, and instead, decided to say 'I find it very hard not to be skeptical.'"]

Anger is a gift. I've never forgotten that.

["You could have asked. I would have gladly explained the inside sourcing that I cannot reveal publicly. I would have told you. Happily. I would have explained how Joseph Wilson independently verified a half dozen other sources, none of whom are connected. We had a guy **deleted**."]

By the way, I know you are a huge HST fan. I got to hang out with he and Ken Kesey at Kesey's farm in 1991. It was a gas to listen to the good Doctor speak about the Gulf War as he passed me tumblers of Wild Turkey.

["I'd have told you, had you asked, because you are owed that much. But sadly, no. You threw me and Jason and truthout under the bus. Publicly, because you do not have the COURAGE to stand with someone who has stood with you. You couldn't even do it silently."]

so you are encouraging hatred, blaming Obama and praising Cindy?

["This was a wheat-from-the-chaff moment, and you failed. You spend a good deal of time talking about standing strong, but you publicly fucked one man who has stood stronger for you more than any other. Name for me please the New York Times and international best-selling book, translated into twelve languages, that thanks you and your site above anything else. First and foremost."]

Your words are very inspiring to those of us

[They might be a wee bit more inspiring IF Pitt ever owns up to the fraud he perpetrated but that has NEVER happened. Meanwhile the Pittster continues pointing fingers and delivering political morality sermons.]

FReepers and DUmmies agree: We all hate the TSA!

Finally, some common ground! FReepers and DUmmies agree: We all hate the TSA! The hottest topic of the week in DUmmieland is the same as it is in FReeperville, i.e., thread upon thread of outrage over the latest excessive, intrusive measures of the Transportation Slowdown Administration.

So this will be a most unusual DUFU, where I mostly AGREE with the DUmmies. But now if we could only get them to take the next step and get equally upset over Big Government groping around in our pocketbook and taking our paycheck and taking away our freedoms! Why, we might make conservatives out of them yet! Well, don't hold your breath.

For today's DUFU I'm selecting just a couple of the MANY threads over there, this
THREAD, "We're just ONE ceramic anus bomb away from mandatory cavity exams," and this THREAD, "Thanks to the TSA and Airline industries - I have absolutely no desire to travel by air anymore."

The DUmmie--or are they FReeper?--comments are in Thread Level Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wanting somebody to write the book "Courage in Profilings," is in the [brackets]:

We're just ONE ceramic anus bomb away from mandatory cavity exams.

[We're SO CLOSE, benburch, aren't we?]

We cannot allow an Anus Bomb Gap. . . .

[Call Dr. Strangeglove.]

I'm wondering if the force of an intra-rectal explosive might not generate an air pressure shock wave sufficient to damage the fuselage of the aircraft.

[Laden, unladen, or been laden?]

"Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!"

[Thank you. Somebody had to say it.]

In that case, the next logical step would be mandatory enemas.

[With trends like these, who needs enemas?]

Now I get to decide if I want to be scanned by carcinogenic xrays or if I prefer to be sexually assaulted.

[They took an x-ray of a DUmmie's head and found nothing.]

Geez I'm a 40-something person born here in the USA. . . .

[Sure, that's what Obama said too.]

Did I mention those xrays can even show if I'm having my monthly curse or not (it will show if you're wearing a sanitary napkin).

[For those special times, Homeland Security will issue you an officially approved "Nappy."]

At least Canada is 6 hours away - I could drive there.

[I'll load the U-Haul for you.]

the last time I flew somewhere . . . it was Canada although it may have been Tampa.

[Now you'll have to pass through the Tampax-ray.]

It was FUN to fly in America, after the smoking ended and before the butt searching began.

[After the smoking ended, somebody was bound to search for the butt.]

Having known real freedom for so long, I don't want to become used to this level of intrusion. . . . we have overwhelmed good sense and given up the freedoms that made us a free people.

[Now apply that thinking to government intrusion into our freedoms in OTHER ways, and we'll make a conservative out of you yet!]

I survived drivign around Boston and that's fricking scary. . . .

[Especially the Pitt stops.]

Now I have to prepare myself to allow strangers to be touching me all over. . . .

[benburch's motto is "Always prepared."]

Personally however, this whole brouhaha would be tons better if Obama, Napolitano, and the rest of the TSA goons all went first through the scanners with their families.

[Having to see Janet Incompetano in the buff would cause TSA agents to quit in disgust.]

I wonder what would happen if I showed up at the airport naked?

[ben doesn't want to fly, he just wants to show up at the airport naked.]

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Head DUmmie Skinner's "Rules for DUmmies," v. 47.0

"This time FOR SURE!" Bullwinkle would exclaim to Rocky, as ONCE AGAIN he tries to pull a rabbit out of his hat. But of course, once again he would fail. Such is life for Head DUmmie Skinner (David Allen), Assistant Head DUmmie EarlG (Dave Allsopp), and Minor Flunkie DUmmie Elad (Brian Leitner), as they try to enforce rules for their insane asylum. They are now up to version 47.0, I think, as we see here in this THREAD, "An important announcement about the DU rules, and how we enforce them."

EarlG and Skinner, then Elad below them:

Skinner's ineffectual attempts at creating order out of chaos are always good for a laff. I'm reminded of Sister Mary Elephant trying to take control of her classroom: "Good morning, class. . . . Good morning, class! . . . Class! . . . SHUT UPPP!!!! . . . Thank you." So let us take a seat in the back row as Sister David Allenphant tries to get the DUmmies' attention, in Rubrical Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, guessing that all the Lousy Freeper Trolls are probably better behaved than the regular DUmmies, is in the [brackets]:

An important announcement about the DU rules, and how we enforce them.

[Skinner speaks! Let us attend.]

Earlier this year I posted a thread announcing some changes to the DU rules. . . .

[That was version 46.9.]

Our plan was to use an extremely detailed set of rules that would cover most disruptive situations we could think of, and have the moderators enforce them by sticking closely to the letter of the rules. The idea was to try and get everyone -- members, moderators, and administrators -- on the same page.

[What were WE thinkin'??]

But after trying this approach throughout the summer and into the fall, we have come to the conclusion that it has been a failure.

[EPIC. Epic failure.]

The new rules were far too complicated for most people to want to learn or remember, and they had so many loopholes and gray areas that we actually ended up encouraging the most disruptive members of the site.

[Clear as mud and just as effective. Right up there with Obamacare and TSA.]

Ironically, these folks seemed to be the only people who really made an effort to understand the new rules -- and then used that understanding to target people they didn't like and try to get them in trouble with the moderators.

[See Bobo the Hobo and the Tombstoning of William Pitt.]

In October, we posted the first annual DU Member Survey, and we learned a lot about our members. . . .

[They're all NUTS!!]

So, our primary concern this time around is making the rules simpler and shorter . . .

[. . . as you will see, as I now go on for about another 19 paragraphs detailing them. . . .]

You are going to see more active moderation of civility (personal attacks and deliberate disruption), paired with less active moderation of content (especially posts that criticize or defend Democrats).

[Translation: We know you all want to bash Obambi and the loser Democrats, even though this is supposed to be a pro-Democrat forum, and we know we're powerless to stop you, so, frankly, we give up! But at least try to be nice to each other, OK?]

Now, here are the big changes you need to know about.

[Until these too fail and we have to come up with v. 47.1.]

All the posts here that question the motives, character, or good faith of other DUers serve to poison the atmosphere. . . . I know that it is going to be difficult to deal with this stuff -- in fact, it might be impossible. . . .

[C'mon, Skinner, you KNOW it's impossible!]

The moderators are empowered to remove any post that serves to disrupt, derail, or hijack an otherwise thoughtful discussion. . . . Note: The purpose of this rule is to remove the proverbial "turd in the punchbowl" -- but please be aware that the moderators are not required to pick turds out of a punchbowl filled with turds.

[It's the Turd Way.]

In the past, it has been extremely difficult to try to have a thoughtful discussion on DU . . .

[. . . for lack of thinking participants.]

. . . because there was always some jerk who would show up and disrupt.

["Jerk," Skinner?? Are you calling one or more of your members a "jerk"? Why, that sounds like a violation of the rules! You know, the one you just stated about "Personal attack, insults, or name-calling against any DU member or members." Physician, delete thyself!]

we do not permit the following: Referring to Democrats using disrespectful nicknames (eg: Calling President Obama "Barry"). . . .

[How about "Chimpy"?]

Crude insults against Democrats (eg: "F*** Harry Reid"). . . .

[Necrophilia is right out!]

By the way: Our fourth quarter fund drive was supposed to begin last night, but we had to postpone it by one day because Elad (one of our administrators) was busy all weekend taking the test for his black belt.

[If you get out of line, Elad will come over and Kung Fu you! . . . Now the DUmmies respond to Sister David Allenphant's careful instructions . . .]

Did Elad pass his test?

[Were you even paying attention to all those rules?? First reply out of the box, and you ask me about Elad's black belt test??]

If he does pass his test, will he be able to kill a man using only his pinky finger?

[Hell--OOO!!! Was anyone paying attention??]

I feel I should mention at this juncture that Elad has always been among my favorite admins.

[Ooh! Slam at Skinner and EarlG!]

Elad spelled backwards is dalE.

[OK, can anybody tell me any of our new rules?]

Is Skinner actually...Renniks?


And Earl G ...... Glrae (glory?)

[Hello? Is this thing on?]

That is a common generalized misconception. Usually one knows how to kill a man with only his pinky at the brown belt level.

[Why do I bother?]

Well congrats to Elad. Now he can REALLY start to learn stuff! What style of karate?

[I give up.]

Yes I did, thanks for asking...

[OK, now even Elad HIMSELF is hijacking the thread!]

Shouldn't we have a "Pointless Insults and Abuse Forum?"

[And how would you tell it apart?]

That's really stupid're an idiot.

[And so it begins.]

omg DU Admins are getting black belts

[Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency. . . .]

Just in time for the fundraising drive! Eeek!

[Donate OR ELSE!]

I'm not sure how much worse the criticism of Obama can get. . . .

[Oh, just wait!]

I've had a thread locked for using the word "cheerleader" in the OP. I was trying to describe the type of poster here who thinks President Obama can do no wrong. I was not trying to demean or denigrate.

[RACIST! Buh-bye!]

Question: Can we use crude, left-wing insults but not right-wing ones? Yeah, right-wingers are likely to say "F*** Harry Reid." However, I doubt they'd use MY nickname for him, which is "D*ckless Harry." . . . So, can I keep calling him D*ckless Harry?

[Well, you just did, so I guess you can!]

Does that mean that "spineless jellocrats" is out, too??

[Now, class. . . .]

Jellocrats? Jellocracy? Government by delicious gelatin snacks? I'm in!

[Now, class!]

I don't think that would be appropriate, Reid probably has a penis. He may not know how to use it or it might be injured but that's a whole different issue.


There are many fine, courageous members of Congress and the Senate who are "d*ckless". . . .


You guys work so hard to keep this place intact.

[Thank you.]

Rules? If we had evolved from cats instead of social monkeys, THERE WOULD BE NO RULES! No catperson would acknowledge the authority of any other cat person to make him stop at a red light. Of course, cat people would insist on sports cars so agile and would drive them with such grace that traffic accidents would hardly ever happen. At leat not by accident.

[And this is what Skinner has to deal with. . . .]

Monday, November 15, 2010

David Allen's DUmmieland takes on Sarah Palin's Alaska

This has not exactly been a November to Remember for the DUmmies. First came Tsunami Tuesday, when the Republican Red Wave swept across the land, turning DU into Democratic Underwater. Then last week came the Return of Chimpus Khan, reawakening the DUmmies' Bush Derangement Syndrome (BDS), followed closely by the news that those tax breaks for the evil rich will soon become the Bush-OBAMA Tax Cuts. Now, last night, comes the premiere of "The Adventures of Caribou Barbie," aka "Sarah Palin's Alaska," sparking an outbreak of Palin Madness Syndrome (PMS), the natural successor to BDS. Clearly, for the DUmmies, this has not been a November to Remember, but rather a November for Novocaine and Novenas. And the month is only half-over.

Today, then, we see David "Skinner" Allen's DUmmieland take on Sarah Palin's Alaska, here in this
THREAD, "Got to say this about Sarah Palin," and this THREAD, "Sarah Palin accused of breaking countryside rules in TV nature show."

So let us put on our hip waders and venture out into the wilds of DUmmieland, in Rogue Rage Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who can see DUmmieland from his house, is in the [brackets]:

Got to say this about Sarah Palin: She sure is photogenic. I just wish she would stick to something like being a strong voice for the mentally and physically disabled. She would be really good at that.

[If only she would use her powers for good!]

She is a carbuncle on the anus of a camel. . . .

[But at least she is a photogenic carbuncle.]

Maybe if you can turn off her whiny screechy voice.

[Try the Alaskan Femalamute.]

She looks like a cartoon character from the Sunday comics page to me.

[Wasilla Wonder Woman.]

I only know that a lot of guys really think she is hot.

[She's so hot, she baked Alaska!]

I wonder if she can dance?

[With wolves. On glaciers. With a BlackBerry in one hand and a rifle in the other.]

She is a professional pole dancer. . . .

[Right now she's probably polling better than Black Barry.]

Anyone can be photogenic with $$'s of plastic surgery. . . .

[We'll find out next, on "Nancy Pelosi's San Francisco". . . .]

And btw, who the f*** gets that close to bears?

[Tom Vilsack? . . . BEWARE THE BEAR!]

they are intruding far closer into the bear's space than I'd bet even the regs allow on a fishing trip.

[What about that nosy neighbor, Peeping Joe McGinnis, intruding on the Palins' space?]

Sara Palin is a dumbed down version of peat moss.

[DUmmieland is a DUmbed-down version of DKos.]

Sarah Palin accused of breaking countryside rules in TV nature show. . . . the former state governor is seen fishing for salmon with husband Todd and family members. She can be seen apparently holding her rod towards brown bears on the river bank, while the party's boat appears to be closer to the bears than guidelines advise. The Alaska department of fish and game says people in a boat must not fish within 30ft of a bear.

[Boy, when that bear came to where they were already fishing, he must have got to within, oh, 29 feet there for a minute, till they backed off! Criminal! Heinous!]

Maybe one of those bears will eat her and make our lives just a little bit better.

[Here we see an enraged DUmmie engaged in a life-or-death struggle with a Mama Grizzly. . . .]

After one bite she'd be spit back out. Because she's bitter with a terrible texture.

[Mama Gristly.]

I hope one of the bears eats her, but it's impossible to tell from that picture how close she really is. . . .

[It's an optical Aleutian.]

As long as it makes for a good photo op. . . .

[It's a Kodiak moment.]

I wouldn't want the bears to get sick.


Now TLC owes the Democratic candidates 8 episodes of free airtime to make it fair.

[Let's see, "Barack Obama's Kenya" . . . no, wait, "Barack Obama's Indonesia" . . . oops! "Barack Obama's Hawai--no, Chicago". . . .]

how come every time Palin opens her "flippin'" mouth and emits some inane tripe, I feel like ripping my ears off?

[Palin Madness Syndrome claims another victim.]

I can hardly wait until she gets tired of Todd and has an affair with a bear.

[Sorry, Peeping Joe McGinnis, no porch porn for you!]

A brown bear can more very quickly, so I'd bet there's a shooter nearby to stop the bear if it moves in the right direction. Sarah may be stupid, but she's no dummy.

[Spoken by someone who's stupid AND a DUmmie!]

Friday, November 12, 2010

"White House Gives In On Bush Tax Cuts"

Paging Head DUmmmie Skinner! Your Tombstoning services are required. Why? Because the DUmmies are REVOLTING. Yes, they are now revolting against the Obamassiah over the possibility he will approved an extension of the (GASP!) Bush tax cuts. And this idea has the DUmmies throwing mass fits as you can see in this THREAD, "White House Gives In On Bush Tax Cuts." So let us now watch the revolting DUmmies blow a gasket in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, enjoying the smell of DUmmie angst in the morning, is in the [barackets]:

White House Gives In On Bush Tax Cuts

[SNIFF! John Edwards would have never deceived us.]

Source: The Huffington Post

[Zsa Zsa speaks.]

WASHINGTON -- President Barack Obama's top adviser suggested to The Huffington Post late Wednesday that the administration was ready to accept an across-the-board continuation of steep Bush-era tax cuts, including those for the wealthiest taxpayers.

[How about on the wealthiest Trust Funds, William Rivers Pitt?]

That appears to be the only way, said David Axelrod, that middle-class taxpayers can keep their tax cuts, given the legislative and political realities facing Obama in the aftermath of last week's electoral defeat.

[Bow to painful REALITY you lowly DUmmie serfs!]

"We have to deal with the world as we find it," Axelrod said during an unusually candid and reflective 90-minute interview in his office, steps away from the Oval Office. "The world of what it takes to get this done."

[The problem is how to deal with the alternate world of DUmmieland. And now to the unreal DUmmies...]

But cutting social security will be just fine. Asshats. Motherf*ckers.

[Don't hold back. Tell us how you REALLY feel about the Bamster.]

I think it would be wise for us to slow down a bit, and not jump the gun. Whe White House is coming out with denials today. Let's
just sit back for a while and watch how things turn out.

[Just sit back and enjoy the chloroform. The Bush tax cuts will be painlessly extended while you DUmmies are anesthetized.]

Tea Party wants to invade Iran and North Korea...maybe Canada... Can't touch the defense budget.

[We need that money in case we decide to invade Grand Fenwick.]

I hope every single soul who posted here worked hard and continues to work for something better. I can see a few posts here that are obvious psyops. The rest of you, minus one or two, appear to be behaving like lemmings.

[So they are either LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS or...DUmmies.]

Folks - we're in a death spiral here. There is no way out of this - if we continue on this path of financial ruin. This is just another one of those bubbles that will burst - and when this one bursts - it will probably be too late to recover. I'm really depressed this a.m. - can't you tell.

[However, the trust fund payments to WILLIAM RIVERS PITT should continue. Does that make you happier?]

Obama ALWAYS folds. He has a PATTERN AND PRACTICE of folding. A con is a con is a con.

[A con is a con is a Bev Harris.]

Axelrod repeated that the extension would not be "permanent" today. Which means they are caving on an extension. And down the road will there be another "temporary extension" on a tax cut that is already breaking this country and should never have happened in the first place?

[Feel better? The Bush tax cuts will be merely extended until 2013 when President Christie will make them permanent.]

A somewhat pathetic, spineless, naive man who seems to have given up any hope or desire to be reelected.

[Have FUn removing your Obama 2008 bumper sticker.]

I bought into his candidacy as much as anyone else. I probably bought into his life story a bit too much too. I'm sure his parents would both be proud that he became president, but would they be proud of the job he's done? I can't imagine they would. They both seemed like fighters.

[One of his parents was only a parent for just a few minutes.]

It makes perfect sense when you see all he is, is just another corporate tool. Remember when reports came out that he was lying about NAFTA during his campaign? That's exactly what he was doing, lying to us, and, now we can see he wasn't just lying about NAFTA.

[GASP! You mean the haloed Lightworker actually LIED to us?]

It's hopeless I'm afraid. I live in NJ, a so called "blue" state and 99% of the people I know support the Tea Bagger mentality.

[Could it have something to do with the SUCCESS of Governor Christie in cutting the NJ budget?]

Good Candidate. Poor President. For which America is now the poorer. Change ... where have you gone?

[Gone to India for some expensive dance lessons.]

But for me this is the point when I am about to tune out of politics for the sake of my own health.

[Please stay tuned in. We need the laughs.]

Seems To Me That "The DUDE" Has Become Nothing More That "A DUD!"

[LOL! And it makes for a GREAT tag line.]

You want that dude? then call madison ave. They were the ones that sold us that dude.

[And you DUmmies bought into it hook, line, and sinker.]

Maybe a Feingold / Grayson challenge in 2012 might bring back the change that we were promised.

[Loser/Loonie 2012.]

It's time to get someone in the White House who will stand up to Republicans, get rid of Bush's policies, and govern like a Democrat.

[John Edwards: Tanned, rested, and ready. Plus he has a great sex video out there.]

This is THE fight to have, the line to draw in the sand ...

[Or draw the line in your pizza cartons...]

This reminds me of what we went through with health care. At the end of it all, nothing for me. I still have no health care.

[Bev Harris is just $10 away from getting you health care.]

Really, this is it for me. If they let the wealthy have their tax cuts, I am through with politics forever. I will never vote again. This government and this administration is a farce.

[I'm already looking forward to some great DUFUs when the Bush tax cuts are extended!]

If this goes through, I am DONE.

[Will you exile yourself to Bukowski's?]

The problem with Obama is that, as his detractors said during the campaign, he really had no record, just talk, so we voted for what he said and wound up with something else.

[Gee, so maybe we were right when we said that experience counts...]

I thought Obama was a genuine progressive. We were duped.

[DUmmies DUped? So it ain't so, Joe!]

Oh well, another few decades squandered. It is beginning to look like I will not live long enough to see real change that I can believe in.

[So sad. You won't live to see the Bolshevik revolution.]

Its almost criminal to have given so many hurting people a renewed sense of ' Hope ' and that REAL HISTORICAL CHANGE had finally arrived only to see it fragment and whittle away at every turn.

[So you gonna do a citizen's arrest on the Bamster?]

I don't think I can believe him anymore. ‘Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.’

[Fool you thrice, hello DUmmie!]

He's pretty much lied about absolutely everything. I have never been so disappointed with a politician in my life.

[Good news! John Edwards could stage a comeback.]

Unreal is right. I told all my kids about Obama and what he stood for and Bush, and...what he stood for. They're little kids, you try to show them examples in the world of people, people who you think can really make a difference. People who will hopefully (collectively) inspire your children to realize they can change the world. Nah, looks like Dad was just taken in by a big fat f*cking line of bullshit.

[You never should have given up your belief in John Edwards.]

The thing is, he's NOT dealing with it. He's just standing there letting it blow past him.

[Can you think of a better way to keep your Oval Office desk completely clear of annoying paperwork?]

This is the biggest disappointment coming from this administration - a continued "spinelessness" and sense of purpose as a democrat. I have lost all hope and faith in this administration!

[Speaketh the DUmmie walking aimlessly among the empty pizza boxes.]

Presumably Obama has read the New Testament.

[Nope. Didn't you hear? He slept in church for 20 years while Rev. Wright delivered his Hate Whitey sermons.]

Someone needs to start an American Labor Party.

[Why hold back? Go all the way with American Communist Party.]

I'm hoping that this isn't true but I'm planning on considering my chances on whether to emigrate to the Netherlands or somewhere in Scandinavia if this is true.

[Try Sweden where you can mooch off the folks at the Henrickson Family Estate.]

New Zealand looks nice.

[And North Korea is a really yummie workers paradise.]

the world as I find it at this point really sucks

[Have you checked out the alternate universe?]

I don't believe Obama will go back on his word on the tax cuts to the wealthy.


HOPE! Hope we all realize we've been DUPED. Obama is NOT getting my vote in 2012. He's NOT the progressive we were falsely sold during the 2008 election. He's a FRAUD. F'em.

[John Edwards would never have DUPED you.]

Not sure if more time would have made a difference.
He spent a good number of years in the Illinois legislature. When the most controversial issues were up for a vote (e.g., a woman's reproductive rights), he usually voted "present" (and sometimes he was physically absent).

[Actually he was "present" but "present" at the golf links.]

Brilliant f*cking opening gambit. In no form of n-dimensional chess, is it prudent to give away your queen as an opening move.

[Goodbye Barney Frank.]

Thursday, November 11, 2010

"The Bush-OBAMA Tax Cuts"?? Looney Left ABLAZE!

The Looney Left's bête noire, Chimpy McHitler, has recently emerged from the Führerbunker and awakened the latent BDS always boiling just beneath the surface. A softball interview on the Orca Windbag Show only served to rehabilitate the Evil One. What's next, a turn on Brush-Clearing With the Stars?

Well, if that were not enough, now comes President Obama morphing INTO Barack W. McSame! HuffPo has broken a story--perhaps just a trial baloney at this point--
"White House Gives In On Bush Tax Cuts," and even this whiff of a RUMOR is enough to set off a FIRESTORM across the Lands of the Looney Left! HUffieland, DUmmieland--KOmmieland, too, I'm sure--they're all ABLAZE with fury! The disappointment, the sense of betrayal, nay, the OUTRAGE, is palpable--and laffable! Judas Iscariot on a bait-and-switch! And the moonbats thrown under the bus!

This latest betrayal could provide DAZE of DUFU material! PJ may take up a different thread in about 24 couponing-business hours. But for now let's get started, shall we? Bolshevik Red, [barackets], you know the drill. . . .

White House Gives In On Bush Tax Cuts

[WHA-AA?? This must be a typo, right??]

President Barack Obama's top adviser suggested to The Huffington Post late Wednesday that the administration is ready to accept an across-the-board, temporary continuation of steep Bush-era tax cuts, including those for the wealthiest taxpayers.


That appears to be the only way, said David Axelrod, that middle-class taxpayers can keep their tax cuts, given the legislative and political realities facing Obama in the aftermath of last week's electoral defeat.

[Axelgrease must see the handwringing on the wall: All those Demo congresspeople worried that they'll lose their jobs in 2012. Plus, there's a certain Indonesian President who will be up for re-election. . . . Well, now let the bludgeoning begin . . .]

Paging Obama's backbone. Come in Backbone......[ Crickets ]

[Barry Hollow and the Crickets]

he was more like a guy who shot his wad too fast on healthcare and couldn't get it up again. . . . I was retaliating against those who were calling him a P*SSY, I told them it was the wrong word to use since P*ssies are TOUGH, they take a pounding, bleed for days and last forever. . . .


Obama was hired not voted.

[Well, at least SOMEBODY got a job!]

Diehard Obama supporter. Not any more. The last straw.

[The straw that broke the commie's back.]


["The number you have reached has been disconnected. Calls are now being taken at 1-800-BUSH-WON."]

Now this. Very depressing.

[A record month for Paxil scrips!]

What hasn't he just given up on?


These tax cuts are what gave us the deficit we now have.

[Trillions of dollars in spending had NOTHING to do with it!]

if someone opposes Obama in a 2012 Primary, I will re-register as a Democrat just to be able to vote against him.

[GRAYSON 2012: In your heart, you know he's CA-RAAAAAAAAAZY!!!]

Mr Softee

[And I SCREAM!!]

Obama is a tool and a plant of the Republican party.


Obama is the coal in our Christmas stocking.

[Santa Claus just came down the Chimpney.]


[Thank you, e. e. cummings.]

It's a spending problem.

[HERESY! . . . But no Kewpie Doll or LFT, since they allow anyone to post on HuffPo.]

Obama has been America's Weimar Republic, the last utterly weak and incompetent pretense of "liberal" government. After his incompetence, the deluge.

[The 2012 election could make this year's Tsunami Tuesday look like a ripple in the kiddie pool.]

Like so many others, I loved Obama and the idea of Obama, and like most of his former base, I am now absolutely disgusted with him. The biggest farce of all is that Obama ran not just on hope but on "audacity." He's been about as audacious as a mole.

[The Audacity of Hype.]

Letting Obama be the national version of Kendrick Meek in a three-way with Perry and Bloomberg, in which progressives would join centrist independent pragmatists supporting Bloomberg, is the best solution for progressives wanting at least a moderate, smart, progressive on social issues presidency in an America betrayed by Obama's incredible cowardice, insecurity, incompetence, or whatever it is that has made him such a total loser and national joke.

[The Meek shall inherit the dearth.]



Relentless is not his middle name.

[It's Hussein, but don't go there.]

Hoped he was only bush lite, but now, wonder when he will change residence officially to TX.

[Don't mess with Texas--or Taxes! Hee! Hee!]

What the F'ing F?

[Stuned into silence!]

What is wrong with this man?

[You know that little scar-like line running down the side of his head? Microchip. Implanted months ago. Perfect little robot now.]

the Progressives need to support the Republicans when they move to impeach Obama. Then we can all support President Biden when he runs for re-election in 2012.



[CAPITALIST!] stink!

[B.O. Plenty!]

Obama the gutless wimp.

[Obama the just-like CHIMP!]


[Minus one swoonbat.]

What did I ever see in this guy?

[Make it two. It's like all the Tiger Beat girls found out Justin Bieber was cheating on them.]

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

A DUmmie drama queen posts her opus

"Farewell, DUmmieland! I must leave you now! This place is not what it once was. No, don't beg me to stay! I know you will miss me terribly, but I must make my dramatic exit now. Why, I remember the golden days of yesteryore, when this was such a magical place, and we oldtimers all were one big happy family--not like what this place has BECOME, which is why I must take my leave. No, really, I WILL NOT STAY, no matter how much you sing my praises and beg me not to go. . ."

Thus DUmmie Hekate takes her exit from the DUmp, in this
THREAD, "'Jes*s Chr*st on a Trailer Hitch!': I've been here since '02 and that's my legacy as I gbcw...."

The farewells and please-stays are in Wild Strawberry Red (you'll see), while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, hoping that PJ or I can come up with something later today for the Nativity of Wee Willie Pitt (b. Nov. 9, 1971), is in the [brackets]:

"Jes*s Chr*st on a Trailer Hitch!": I've been here since '02 and that's my legacy as I gbcw....

[Huh? That's your "legacy" after eight years? What do you mean, DUmmie Hekate? And what's this "gbcw"? Please explain. . . .]

Thanks go to the moran who showed up at the 2005 Terri Schiavo vigil towing a humongous crucifix behind his pickup truck – I was so impressed and appalled that I coined the phrase on the spot and it became my new swear-word. I did a search recently and found it's all over the place at DU and elsewhere.

[OK, so you came up with a blasphemous idiotic cuss phrase, and a few other idiots latched on to it, and THIS is your claim to fame?? Congratulations, DUmmie Hekate! Hats off to you! Quite an accomplishment.]

Bless you my children, as I depart I bequeath it to you.

[Oh, I get it now: You're doing an opus!]

Why go?

[I don't really care, but I suppose you're going to tell us anyway. . . .]

It's an accumulation of things over the past 2 years, frustrations common to many of us. I've lost a number of friends, some by disagreeing with them and some because they disappeared.

[Those d*mn rethuglicans! No, wait! It must have been Skinner & Co. that disappeared them. . . .]

Speaking only for myself, the last straw was... oh hell, there were several, including eruptions of mass psychosis that virtually made me ill.

[Mass psychosis is the Mass Turnpike running through the heart of DUmmieland.]

It really is time to stop walking past this particular “bar” and just change my route.

[Head over to Bukowski's and be sure to wish Bald Bouncer Pitt a happy birthday.]

Hekate is the Goddess of the Crossroads, after all.


I think Skinner feels beleaguered, and I don't blame him: there's an old story about a man who had a tiger by the tail that may apply to his situation. . . .

[DUmmieland is a tail held by an idiot, full of sound and furry. . . .]

As for myself, I'm paid up through mid-May of next year, but this is it for me. Let's just say that I'd rather leave on my own terms than be vaporized without warning after 8 solid years of membership.

[I have no real REASON to leave, but posting an opus is a good way to get people to beg you to stay.]

I take away some remarkable memories ~~~ In the early years. . . .

[Yes, I, Hekate, am an oldtimer--not like you noobs. I go back EIGHT YEARS, to the golden days of DU. Ah, the memories! Misty, water-colored memories. The stories I could tell! Which I will. . . .]

one never-to-be-forgotten night I researched that topic myself until I stared into the heart of darkness too deeply, injuring my wrists so badly I had to go offline for 3 months.

[Who could forget that? No one! What a gallant, brave DUmmie you were! The sacrifice you made!]

We had eyewitness reports from Camp Crawford, too, and some thought provoking discussions on the Meaning of Cindy Sheehan.

[I-witness reports from Midnight Cowboy "Snake" Pitt, standing in the ditch with Mother Sheehan for a couple of HOURS, enduring FIRE ANTS, for goodness' sakes!]

Based on issues raised here I did some good research, and at times I did some fine writing based on that research.

[If you won't praise me, I will!]

Hubby asked me more than once if I wanted him to set up a blog for me, and I always said no. I had DU and my ego didn't need a blog.

[No, no ego trip for me!]

We were a community of sorts.

[Sort of like a group home.]

The Bush years were scary years, as our civil liberties were carved away with a backhoe. One night in November 2004, almost 1,000 DUers decided to post their real names online to show they would not be intimidated by Bush's DOJ and Dept of “Homeland” Security.

[Those were the days, my friend, we thought they'd never end. . . .]

There was more: shared laughter. . . . We laughed at OURSELVES. . . .

[And others laughed at us too!]

In 2006 DistressedAmerican held a wake for the Indictment of Rove, and almost 100 of us attended. . . .

[The Fitzmas That Never Came.]

Drinks were served, bagpipes were played, I think there was some maudlin weeping; I contributed a casserole to help sop up some of the booze. Songs were composed for the occasion. . . .

[Speaking of casseroles and songs being composed, it just so happens that I have composed a salute to potlucks! Here it is; click the music link and sing along!]

Tune: "Old-Time Rock-and-Roll"

Just put those old roasters in a line
It's time for potluck and the pleasure's mine
Today's menus can't fill the old hole
I like that green bean casserole

Don't try to make me eat your tofu
You'll sooner get to see me eatin' dog food
I'll start headin' for the church basement door
I like that green bean casserole

Still like that green bean casserole
That kind of eatin' just soothes the soul
I wanna know what's on my plate and bowl
Like that green bean casserole

Don't want shiitake or a mango
I'd rather eat some foods whose names I know
There's only one sure way to get me to go
Start servin' green bean casserole

Call me Midwestern, call my palate poor
Say I'm a Luth'ran, say I'm no connoisseur
Today's menus can't fill the old hole
I like that green bean casserole

Still like that green bean casserole
That kind of eatin' just soothes the soul
I wanna know what's on my plate and bowl
Like that green bean casserole . . .

Oddly, no one screamed obscenities at those who were not in 100% accord with them.

[Yes, we just shouted obscenities at Bush and Cheney and Rummy and Rove! What sweet memories! A common enemy to unite us, to focus all our hatred into one direction, like a laser beam of loathing. . . .]

This is how I want to remember you, DU.

[Goodbye! Farewell! How can we possibly convince you to STAY, DUmmie Hekate?? No, please don't LEAVE us, we beg of you . . .]

Gay Black Christian Woman?

[You're trying to figure out that "gbcw," too, I see.]

I hate to sound stupid, BUT what DOES gbcw mean?

[George Bush on the Crushing Wheel?]

Good-bye, cruel world...

[OK, makes sense. But I still think "George Bush on the Crushing Wheel" has potential as a catch phrase.]

Do me a favor and think about it, pretty please, Hekate?

[Don't LEAVE us, Hekate!]

the good old du days, when there were action things to do, petitions to sign, congress people to call..and we did it as a united effort..we did effect change..


we helped get us where we thought we were going to be today..

[Getting SHELLACKED by the Rethuglicans!]

Thank you for "jes*s chr*st on a trailer hitch"...It's a great swear saying.

[OUTSTANDING blasphemy! Way to go!]

Of Tigers and Strawberries...

Once, a young monk was sent forth from the monastery to carry a message to another monastery far away. As he walked through the dense forest, he caught glimpses of orange fur in the dappled shade and heard low growls. Surmising that he was being stalked by a tiger, he quickened his steps, but the large cat easily kept pace with him. Fear gnawed at the young monk, and he began to run blindly through the trees, leaving the path he knew in an attempt to outdistance the hungry cat whose panting breath he could feel upon his neck.

The monk lost his way, and to his terror, found himself at the edge of a great precipice. Behind him, he heard the tiger stop, and begin pacing back and forth among the trees, its golden eyes glinting among the leaves. Shaking, the monk looked down and saw that there were vines clambering over the jagged rocks and he determined to try and climb down them. Just as he swung himself over the cliff, and began clambering down the vines which creaked under his weight, he heard the tiger roar, and saw it stare balefully down at him from above.

From below cane an answering roar, and the monk startled and looked down to see a second tiger, pacing along the stones that lined the bottom of the cliff face, waiting for him to descend.

Shuddering, the young monk closed his eyes and clung to the vine, his only means of support. The sound of nibbling teeth caught his attention and he opened his eyes to see a mouse chewing at the vine that held him suspended between the hungry cats.

Next to the mouse, he saw a flash of red. A wild strawberry grew in a crevice of the stone, and a lone fruit shone invitingly.

The monk reached out, and plucking the crimson fruit, held it to his nose. The sweet fragrance rushed into his nostrils as the last bit of the vine gave way and the monk began to fall. As he plummeted toward the tiger, the monk popped the strawberry in his mouth, and the flavor was the sweetest thing he had ever experienced.

[Which is what the tiger thought, when he popped the monk drop into HIS mouth.]

Good luck, Goddess's speed, and happy landings my dear Hekate!

[DUmmie Hekate on a trailer wish!]

((((NO, Hekate! Don't Go!))))

[Beg some more and I may reconsider. . . .]