DUmmies are getting ready for Thanksgiving!
Thanksgiving is always such a special time in DUmmieland. Even now, the DUmmies are getting ready for this most traditional of American holidays. Tonight, for example, the children are doing their annual Pilgrims-and-Indians pageant at school. And then on Thursday, the Day of National Thanksgiving itself, Mom and Dad DUmmie will get little Billy and Susie dressed neat and nice, and they'll all bundle into the family station wagon and head for church. There they'll give thanks to God for his many blessings on this great country of ours, as they sing those familiar hymns, "Come, Ye Thankful People, Come" and "Now Thank We All Our God." After church, then it's on to Grandma and Grandpa's for the big Thanksgiving dinner. Grandpa leads the table grace, and--
Oh, wait! Wrong universe! That's the way Thanksgiving is SUPPOSED to be celebrated! But this is DUmmieland we're talking about. And things there are a little . . . different. As we will see in this THREAD from DUmmie cherokeeprogressive, "In the coming week, it's going to be hard for lots of people to find something to be thankful for. . . ."
So let us adjust our minds to the alternate reality of a DUmmieland Thanksgiving, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who WILL be going to church and singing those hymns on Thursday morning, is in the [brackets]:
In the coming week, it's going to be hard for lots of people to find something to be thankful for...
[For the DUmmies, it's hard to find someONE (i.e., God) to be thankful TO.]
Wars are still waging, and our young treasure will be in harm's way; some of them will perish for what most of us find to be no good reason at all.
[National defense is overrated. To quote Dear Leader, "We can absorb a terrorist attack."]
Unemployment is still hurting good people and their families.
[Except for the DUmmies who get to live in Mom's basement.]
Misinformation and propaganda will be spoon fed to us on a daily basis.
[MSNBC is still in business.]
In the midst of all that and a THOUSAND other things that should cause us worry and hard feelings. . . .
[A Thousand Points of Plight.]
I propose a small ray of light we can all grab onto and hold dear...
[Faith in Almighty God?]
DU is here.
[Oh, what was I THINKING?? Of COURSE! "DU is here." THAT is our one great consolation in times of distress!! THANK you, DUmmie cherokeeprogressive, for that much-needed reminder! Yes, DU is HERE! I feel so much better!]
It's the one place where we can come . . . and find someone who thinks the way we do.
[That should tell you something.]
For lots of us, this is Home.
[Your online group home.]
here's a place where you can put your foot in your mouth one day . . .
[And then, the next day, you can put your other foot in there, too!]
I'm lucky in that my family and friends, no matter how ideologically diverse we may be, can put aside political differences and enjoy each other's company for a day, have dinner, good conversation, and argue (agreeably) about any number of things . . .
[That's about 180 degrees OPPOSITE of what happens with most DUmmies interacting with their extended family.]
from whether Boise State deserves a place in the BCS Championship Game or not . . .
[Idaho whether they deserve it or not. But, as they say, Boise will be Boise.]
to WHO caught the biggest fish during last year's camping trip.
So for all of us, I propose that we hold one thing dear: DU.
[Dear DU! Dear, dear DU! Where would we be without you?]
Go. Have dinner. Bite your tongue.
[Ouch! I hate when that happens!]
Kiss and hug those friends and family you hold dearest and enjoy the opportunity to commune with them. Tolerate those you don't, for their sake.
[Just kind of wave at them a little, from across the room.]
When it's all said and done? Come back to DU, and let it all out.
[Yes, please do! That's always a highlight. On the day after Thanksgiving, many DUmmies boast about how obnoxious they were in confronting their Rethuglican relatives. Or else they will tell how they converted one of them to progressivism. Confronting or converting Rethuglican relatives is a big theme on the day after Thanksgiving. Hence, we here at DUmmie FUnnies always look forward to Brag Friday!]
Either vent over the foolish uncle who insists that Faux Snooze is the way, the light, and the truth, or gush over your young neice or nephew who espouses all the ideals you think every human should live by.
[In any case, lie and make things up to make yourself look good!]
Either way, come back. Come home. You know there is ALWAYS someone on DU who will agree with you, no matter what an ass you were. . . .
[We're one big association of asses!]
Be thankful for that. Be thankful for places like DU.
[The true meaning of Thanksgiving. . . . Well, that was cherokeeprogressive's opening post. But now, in the replies, she mentions who all's coming for dinner . . .]
We're having a small Thanksgiving this year... My Gay Daughter, her Transgender BFF, my Sister, and my Nephew.
["My gay daughter" and "her transgender BFF"?? What's THAT?? What's a "transgender BFF"? A "BoyFriend Female"? A "Butch-Fem Freak"? And if you've got a homosexual daughter, which "gender" would her BFF "trans" to? I'm so confused!]
My only worry this year is that Chris, my Daughter's BFF, is a Cowboy fan.
[You've got a homosexual daughter, and she's bringing over a "transgender BFF," whatever that is, and your only worry is that this "Chris" follows a certain football team?? . . . Another DUmmie responds to cherokeeprogressive . . .]
you want I should kick some BFF Cowboy fan ass, cp? LEMME AT HIM/HER
[Even this DUmmie doesn't know what to call it! . . . Back to cherokeeprogressive . . .]
I support Chris for all he's done to become the man he wants to be. . . .
[Keep telling yourself: Democrats are just like us. . . . ]
My dear cherokeeprogressive!
[That could only be . . . CaliforniaPeggy!]
We will luckily be spending our Thanksgiving with some almost family and they agree with us politically. . . .
[Our real family thinks we're NUTS!]
I am so thankful for DU...It changed my life, and that's no joke.
[We're thankful for DU, too, BECAUSE it's a joke!]
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
[Thanks be to Gaia!]
All the Best to You Peg... Ya know, there isn't another DU'er whose kind words can illicit such warm fuzzy goose-bumpy feelings!
[Illicit goose-bumps! Only on DU!]