Sunday, September 19, 2010

Pitt Recants Democrat Victory Prediction

If you want WILLIAM RIVERS PITT to recant a prediction, you only have to wait for much less than 24 business hours to expire. In this case, I am surprised that it took a whole month for the Pied Piper to recant his PREDICTION that the Democrats would retain control of both the House and Senate. Back then he exhibited snappy confidence in his prediction...and now it is gloom and doom as you can see in his TruthOut STORY, "The Ultimate Political No-Brainer." Yes, it turns out that Pitt was too embarrassed to post his prediction retraction in DUmmieland so we have to DUFU the Truthies today. Perhaps Pitt feared that the DUmmies would hold him to his promise to "Bookmark this thread. You can shove it up my ass if I'm wrong." Sorry, Pitt, but we will still demand that you butter your butt up with KY jelly since later retractions do not make the original promise null and void. So let us now watch the Pitt post his election prediction retraction in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that Ben Burch has already volunteered for the shoving ceremony, is in the [brackets]. ...But first, we now serenade Pitt with "Self-Recanted Evening" written by our own Charles Henrickson to the tune of "Some Enchanted Evening":


Self-recanted evening,
When you see the flip-flops,
You may see where Pitt stops
Across the DUmmieland.
And somehow you know,
You know even then,
That sometime you'll see him
Recant once again.

Self-aggrandized weaving,
Bloviating windbag,
Going where the wind blows,
Not knowing where to stand.
He'll write to the left--
That's left to go right--
Will's so busy dancing,
He can't sleep at night.

Who can explain Pitt?
Who can tell you why?
Will gives two versions,
Neither one can fly.

Some fantastic FReeping!
Someone may be laughing,
You may hear the laughing
Among the DUFU fans.
And night after night,
When we go to bed,
That sound is our laughter--
Will Pitt's in our thread!

Once we have DUFUed
Will Pitt's swing and miss,
Then he'll discover
He can't recant this!


The Ultimate Political No-Brainer...

[...is that Pitt's predictions ALWAYS go awry.]

I am beginning to strongly suspect the Democrats in Congress would vastly prefer to lose their majority status come November, rather than continue to carry the apparently onerous burden of being in charge. The number of alternate explanations for their behavior of late is becoming sparse. Sure, yeah, there are plenty of people who will tell you there isn't a dime's worth of difference between Democrats and Republicans, especially on Capitol Hill. Both parties are beholden, for the most part, to the same corporate paymasters, and so Democrats acting like Republicans is no big surprise.

[So much for this Pitt pearl of just a month ago: "We will keep the House. We will keep the Senate. Obama will be re-elected in 2012."]

But the thing is, the Democrats aren't acting like Republicans. Republicans, for all their myriad flaws and faults, always play to win. They go for the throat every time, are not shy about saying or doing whatever is required to win the day, and have a knack for turning a sound bite into a stiletto and jamming it under the fifth rib of whatever opponent happens to present themselves. When the GOP held majority control for the first six years of the George W. Bush administration - minus that little interregnum that came about when Jeffords woke up on the left side of the bed - they absolutely bulldozed the Democratic minority just about every single time they wanted something passed. You remember, right? There were little pieces of Democrat all over the place after virtually every vote. They were relentless.

[It's no use Pitt. You can't squirm out of your thread shoving pledge. Ben Burch is already preparing the KY jelly in preparation for the infamous butt buttering.]

Of course, the GOP eventually blew it by 2006, thanks to an avalanche of scandals and the final national realization that a dunderheaded war freak was sitting in the White House. The fact that they lost their majority control, however, didn't change the way they operated. Quite the contrary, as we have seen. They vote en masse even against legislation they approve of if it means beating the Democrats. They roll boulders into the road to thwart everything, and do so with neither shame nor remorse. I disagree with virtually every aspect of Republican philosophy, and my disagreements have gone even deeper since the GOP became the Far-Right-Teabagger-Birther-Taliban-Christian-Nutbag Party, but I will say this: if the Democrats had acted more like Republicans when they were in the minority, there would almost certainly be a lot less dead people in Iraq and Afghanistan, and this country would be a lot less broke.

[Ben Burch loves the smell of buttered butt in the morning.]

But they didn't do that, of course, and since gaining the majority in Congress, the Democrats have been as limp and useless as a dead jellyfish, and never more so since Obama took office. The last two years have been agonizing to watch on any number of levels, mostly because these people can't seem to get out of their own way. They're not acting like Republicans, except when they vote for legislation that serves their dual paymasters, of course, but that's not what I mean. They don't play to win, ever. They don't seem to know how to do it. If you listen closely, you can hear Tip O'Neill spinning wildly in his grave; under no circumstances would that grand old Speaker have tolerated the kind of dishwater spinelessness evinced by this current crop of Democrats.

[Too bad you didn't think of all this a month ago when you posted your Democrat victory prediction thread. Now you have to prepare for it to be shoved you-know-where.]

I really do think they want to get beaten in November, so they can return to the safe, responsibility-free environs of the minority. There are very few other explanations, especially now that they have right in front of them the biggest no-brainer tactical move in the history of the universe: repealing the Bush-era tax breaks for the wealthiest Americans. The issue is a big fat meatball floating right over the plate, and it seems all too evident that these nimrod Democrats are just going to watch it as it sails by.

[Ben Burch has graciously decided to give you a choice: KY Jelly or Vaseline.]

The numbers on this issue are staggering, and Congressional Democrats have had it explained to them in Technicolor by one of the heaviest pollsters in the game. Stanley Greenberg, of the polling firm Greenberg Quinlan Rosner, was invited to speak to members of the Democratic caucus several days ago, and he laid it out as plain as could be. According to his numbers, only 38 percent of Americans favor keeping the Bush tax cuts for rich people, and if the Democrats vigorously embrace repealing them, they stand to make tremendous gains nationally against the GOP in what looks to be a rough midterm season. After Greenberg was finished, Speaker Pelosi followed up with a plea for the party to dive into this potential boon headfirst.

[More importantly, what does that great pundit and Fitzmas co-conspirator, Jason Leopold, think about this?]

First of all, it blows my whole mind to think these people actually needed to have such a simple concept explained to them by an expert with bar graphs and pie charts. Beyond that, however, is the staggering fact that, after having the data spoon-fed to them, they still don't seem to have a stomach for the fight. It would be one thing if they just agreed with the GOP and wanted to keep those tax cuts in place. It would be sickening, but it would make sense. There are some Democrats who do agree, but you'd think a desire to win elections and maintain majority control would trump that, especially given how bleak the prospects are for November.

[It blows my whole mind that you think you can pull off a complete 180 on your election prediction and think we wouldn't notice.]

Junking the Bush rich-folks tax breaks would save hundreds of billions of dollars over the next ten years, which sounds like pretty spiffy fiscal responsibility given our current economic situation. It would maintain tax relief for the middle class, which desperately needs the help. It would be a fork in the eye of the same GOP brigands who passed the damned things in the first place. And it would show the American people that Democrats actually stand for, well, something.

[Keep in mind this is the same Pitt who has openly admitted that he has no idea how the economy works and now he is suddenly a tax breaks expert.]

The fact that they actually have to sit down and think this one over tells me more than anything else that Congressional Democrats are either trying to lose, or don't have the stomach to fight for something that will help millions of people, because the GOP might be mean to them.

[Sorry, you can't weasel out of your butt buttering, Pitt.]

I really do think they want to lose. If they fail to embrace this issue with both arms, that's exactly what will happen.

[And now that Pitt has completely retracted himself AS USUAL, let us now hear from his fellow Truthies...]

America is on the verge of becoming a full-blown fascist totalitarian state. I fear nothing short of revolution can stop it.

[So much for all that "Hope and Change" celebration of just a couple of years ago.]

Its the nice guys versus the school yard bullies.

[Speaking of school yards...perhaps I better leave that up to the Temporary Sockpuppet.]

The President was given a HUGE mandate for CHANGE in 2008. How has that hand been played?

[Do I note a heretical deviation from absolute belief in the perfection of the Obamassiah?]

I hated Bush but I hate what Obama has done even more.

[You can post that sentiment in TruthOut but in DUmmieland that statement is grounds for instant tombstoning.]

You are an insane idiot and a liar.

[A rare moment of truth in TruthOut.]

9 Comments:

Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

38% nationally is a meaningless number to a Representative, what matters to him or her is what the real percentage is in his or her own home district. For any one of them, it could be 8% or 68% just as easily. Of course, a waterlily could run aground in the depths of the Pittster's analysis, so once you consider the source...

12:02 PM  
Blogger Mr Mannn said...

I got a bet for ya PJ.
Today Wee Willie Pitt is talking that the democrats WANT to loose.
BUT, when they do lose in November, I'm gonna stick my neck out and say Wee Willie jumps on the old "Republicans STOLE the election" bandwagon...

1:08 PM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

"America is on the verge of becoming a full-blown fascist totalitarian state. I fear nothing short of revolution can stop it."

This is the hysteria the DUmmies were always babbling during the Bushler years. Oddly, now that Obama and his minions control Washington, the DUmmies are babbling again. Hope and Change has morphed into the Dark Night of Fascism. The irony.

The real revolution can begin this November by tossing Democrats out of the House, the Senate and state governorships.

And yes, Wee Willy and the DUmmies
will be screaming how the Republicans stole, STOLE, the election.

"Wee Willy and the DUmmies", good name for a bubble gum rock group.

1:31 PM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

"America is on the verge of becoming a full-blown fascist totalitarian state."

Happened already.

Under a Democrat.

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

"America is on the verge of becoming a full-blown fascist totalitarian state."

Happened already.

Under a Democrat.


More accurately, under the Democrats. don't forget Nancy, Harry, Barney and Chris.

4:43 PM  
Anonymous JK said...

Funny. I mean, FUnnie.

But can we PLEASE see the DUmmie reaction to this dummy?

It's gotta be priceless.

This is classic stuff ... you've got to go back to Rove's non-existent 2006 indictment to get this FUnnie.

So a request: the DUmmies input on Pitt's stupidity ... and maybe a side by side mockery of this Pitt article compared to his assertion that a Democrat win in November was guaranteed?

12:01 PM  
Anonymous JK said...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=103x560449

Here you go. All Pitt sycophants now. I'll bet it gets funny soon.

Send my referral fee in the mail, please.

2:30 PM  
Blogger Thomas said...

I'm looking forward to the Trogmeister recant.... that will be fun....

3:49 PM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

The tsunami is coming and the Democrat shit is going to be flushed from Washington.

7:55 AM  

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