Sunday, August 22, 2010

Skinner: DUmmieland divided, donations down, Obama's fault!



DUmmieland is in trouble. You see, Head DUmmie $kimmer is having a fund drive right now, and donations are down. And Skinner tells the DUmmies the reason is, they've lost that lovin' feeling, they're at each other's throats. The ongoing Battle of the Hyper-Progs vs. the Obamabots is leaving a sour taste in people's mouths, and that's why they aren't giving. So really, it's Obama's fault! Head DUmmie Skinner once again is facing a crisis, and in his usual decisive style, he doesn't know what to do about it.

We can see all this in this
THREAD, "We're not going to reach our goal this fund drive. Let's talk." It's a MONSTER thread, with over 1,700 posts! Lots of verbiage, not enough dineros!

So let us now see $kimmer DUeling for dollars, in Red Ink Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, putting the FUn in FUnd drive, is in the [brackets]:

We're not going to reach our goal this fund drive.

[But I thought this was the Summer of Recovery?]

Let's talk.

[Oh, your DUmmies will talk, alright. They just won't give you money.]

So, it's now Friday, and as I post this we haven't even reached 600 donations yet. Unless we experience some kind of miraculous and unprecedented turn-around, we aren't going to reach our goal of 1000 donations by Sunday night.

[Pray to Gaia for a miracle. Lay your hands on the Ant Farm.]

But before you stop reading, the point of this post is not to beg you to dig deep and donate and put us over the top.

[Translation: The point of this post is to beg you for money.]

the point of this post is to tell you this: Message received. You don't like what DU has become.

[Hyper-Progs DUmping on Obama, Obamabots cowed into silence and submission.]

you wish it was more like the old DU. . . . Yeah, I miss that DU, too.

[At least they gave money, not like you cheapskates now.]

I miss it so much that it makes my heart ache. I lie awake at night agonizing over it. I can barely bring myself to read my email anymore. I'm burned out and tired.

[WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!]

you send me scolding shame-on-you emails demanding that I do {whatever} and then DU would be better. I wish I shared your certainty.

[Mr. Decisive.]

We have been very cautious and deliberate in our attempts to improve the way we run DU. . . . But the whole effort has the feeling of rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

[Captain Skinner of the S.S. DUmmieland does not want to go down with the shi*.]

Here's the problem in a nutshell: Back when Bush was President, he represented the center of gravity in politics -- the focal point that determined "Which side are you on?" -- and everyone on DU actually was on the same side.

[BDS was the glue that held DUmmieland together.]

Now that Barack Obama is President, he has become the center of gravity.

[More like a black hole.]

To be blunt, we are not all on the same side anymore.

[It's Obama's fault!]

This is the situation we face. Nobody is "safe" anymore. DU doesn't "belong" to anyone. . . . I could "solve" our problems pretty easily by picking a side.

[Visualize Skinner doing "air quotes."]

And they would take comfort from knowing (finally) that the DU Admins are on their side, rather than cold, distant, unpredictable creatures whose allegiances are not entirely clear and who could turn on them at any moment.

[Skinner admits that he, EarlG, and Elad are cold, distant, unpredictable creatures who could turn on the DUmmies at any moment.]

I see the people who built this community.

[. . . on rock and roll. Skinner looks through his Romper Room Magic Mirror and says, "I see Willie and Peggy and Beth. . . ."]

Some of you might post strange and unpleasant things now -- including some things that cut very deeply -- but I remember what you were like before, and I remember how much I liked you then.

[This is a thinly disguised slam at Wee Willie Pitt.]

So we keep doing what we're doing.

[THANK you, Skinner, for verifying my faith in you: You will do NOTHING different.]

I feel obligated to censor people, even though I have never liked doing it. . . .

[Oh, come on, Skinner. You get a THRILL, a tingle up your leg, when you can tombstone somebody!]

I feel obligated to serve as an authority figure. . . .

[Skinner is starting to get excited thinking about his power. . . .]

I feel obligated to keep deleting posts and banning people. . . .

[Skinner is drooling now. . . .]

I think it might not be a bad thing that we're not going to reach our goal this fund drive. Perhaps it will provide us with justification to experiment with some really radical changes to this place.

[We're going to PUNISH you peons! LOCK, BAN, DELETE!! LOCK, BAN, DELETE!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!]

The Admins have discussed a lot of ideas, but we honestly don't know what's going to work, or what you all will be willing to accept.

[Nothing will work, Skinner. That's DUmmieland in a NUtshell.]

I think, to start, we're probably going to post some kind of member survey next week. . . .

[THAT'S IT?? You go through all that, and the best you've got is a "survey"??]

thanks for talking to us skinner.

[Thanx for NOTHING!]

i do think a lot of us are having financially difficult times.

[The excuses begin.]

I DO believe that the lack of donations is due to the FACT that many many of us are still hanging on by the skin of our teeth. the economy is in the crapper.

[How can this BE?? The DEMOCRATS are in charge! Summer of Recovery!!]

Robbing Peter to pay Paul isn't an option for many. . . .

[But that, in a nutshell, is the Democrat governing philosophy.]

Further, some of us are literally dying, and it doesn't matter to others.

[THIS post is from DUmmie bobbolink, aka Bobo the Hobo, the homeless woman who sleeps in a car and who yet somehow manages to have internet access day or night, the same bobbolink who ALWAYS is playing the victim card--"Nobody cares for little ol' poverty-stricken me!"--the same bobbolink who lured Pitt into threatening her and thus got Wee Willie his three-month "time out"!]

Here's my $5.00.

[Skinner is only $10 away from $15 in donations.]

I don't want to be in America anymore. I want to run far from here.

[Is that you, Barack Obama?]

seems some members who used to be vigilant about posting articles may have been some of those "purged"???

[Victims of Herr Skinner's Prog Pogrom.]

The DLCers and the Progressives will always be at odds.

[They're all odd.]

I have never been so flat busted.

[benburch having trouble paying for the hormones.]

I love the diversity here.

[Celebrate perversity. Now where's your money?]

The people . . . didn't talk to each other with such hatefulness. They didn't get death threats from expressing their view. . . . a mediocre writer with a big ego.

[Bobo the Hobo with ANOTHER slam at Wee Willie Pitt! She won't let it go!! "A mediocre writer with a big ego." Bobo NAILS the Pittster!]

On DU nowadays... Death threats = forgivable and the poster is un-TSed. Posting the number 7 = un-f***ing-forgivable, not no way, not no how, person stays TSed forever.

[A slam aginst Pitt AND Herr Skinner's Selective Tombstoning!]

I feel I'm not allowed to express honest concerns that I have.

[Prepare for tombstoning, in 5, 4, 3. . . .]

Obama continues to whistle the corporate tune, continues to keep the same DLCers on his staff.

[Rahm-DLC.]

I've been dead broke ever since I got here. That was, what, seven years ago? . . . Some of us simply aren't competent or lucky enough to be able to afford to donate.

[I'm gonna say . . . competent. You're not competent enough.]

There have been numerous unfair bannings while others who were banned for grievous acts were allowed to return. . . . a lot of my friends are now gone, either TSed for speaking their mind or they've simply faded away from what DU has become. . . . I don't feel like the DU admin appreciates me or my donation. I'm just a dollar sign here.

[Thanx for sharing, DUmmie $$$.]

I'm convinced we've been infiltrated by trolls who have been smart enough not to get caught...yet.

[Hee! Hee! Our plan is working!]

The difficult part is being able to determine the trolls that have managed to stay. It would be nice if we could individually tag them so it would be easier to track their history.

[I'm picturing Marlin Perkins and Jim Fowler shooting suspected trolls with tranquilizer darts.]

yup! the serial unrec'ers, for starters, and when i referred to them in a post using the "t" word . . . my post were deleted. Apparently, it's against DU rules to call someone by the "t" word. . . . That's what i was told by admin when i asked why my post was deleted. When i asked if there was an appropriate DU-sanctioned term for unrec'ers, I got a one-word response: "people".

["People." And that starts with "p" and that rhymes with "t" and that stands for "teabaggers."]

I can get behind that.

[Quiet, ben!]

I know that I still appreciate DU. . . .

[So where's your money?]

I think Skinner our lord and master (I mean that in a good way) should just extend the pledge drive. . . .

[24 more business hours!]

Skinner, what is the DU budget? Where does the money go?

[All $15 will go toward Skinner's antacid bills.]

Sorry about not being able to donate.

[Join the club!]

I think of DU as just one big, incredibly dysfunctional family.

[You would win the Kewpie Doll except for your "big."]

Nobody here is stupid. . . .

[That right there would have revoked your Kewpie Doll anyway. . . . Well, this is such a HUGH thread, the Mother Of All Threads, I'm going to do like John Charles Daly and flip all the cards over, panel, and go to the end of the thread (so far) and see how $kimmer's fund drive is going, now that it's Sunday evening. . . .]

Even as a relative newbie, it is obvious to me that the enforcement of "rules" here is inconsistent and inequitable to say the least. As a result, the inevitable perception is that rules are applied capriciously, grotesquely unfairly, and punitively against a certain segment of posters. Progressive posters are routinely disappeared like El Salvadoran union organizers. Meanwhile, rabid lynch mobs roam the forums, targeting and eliminating posters they disagree with and disrupting threads at will. This very thread is a laughably ironic example of exactly that.

[Not so good, I take it.]

Some people seem to be able to get away with saying anything they want - without repercussions - while others get the ban hammer for a whole lot less.

[Herr Skinner's censorship seems to be an issue that won't go away.]

If you don't want Liberals here..at least be upfront and tell us..have the guts to admit it. I would take my money and my time elsewhere..where liberals are appreciated, and respected.

[No, not going well at all.]

This used to be the #1 place on the internet I would go to..now it is my last choice! All because of a small minority who think they run and own DU ! And they seem to get full immunity from their behavior and rule breaking. The impression they give out is that only their opinions and bullying count!

[No money from DUmmie flyarm!]

if you prick that bubble of pompous self-importance unique to the self-appointed middle-managers of political opinion, they squeal like hedgehogs.

[A certain Pompous Pundit's squealing is just a prick away!]

Looks like the post worked quite well. Fundraising goal met BEFORE the Sunday deadline.

[Surprise! $kimmer GOT his $15 in donations after all! Well, blow me down!]

Yep. I think that was the point of his post.

[The truth comes out! $kimmer's post was a PLOY all along from the Big Boy, to guilt you suckers into forking over some of your fraudulent disability checks! Like Skinner really cares what you think!]

the moderation on this site sucks. Plain and simple, it resembles a cross between the "editorial guardianship" in force at Faux News and the old days in Moscow at Pravda.

[Who cares? Skinner got his money, that's what counts!]

It's also interesting to note just how prevalent is the fear of "tombstoning" in these threads and throughout the site. Not healthy; not healthy at all.

[And that was the last post we'll hear from DUmmie TeaBagsAreForCups. . . .]

I just donated. And I have no suggestions.

[Good. That's all that matters.]

DU has been my sanity for 10 years. . . .

[That's a scary thought.]

THANK YOU THANK YOU and THANK YOU, SKINNER XOXOXO

[MM-WUH!!]

They should put you on the Jerry Lewis Telethon, Skinner. Your post saved the day and you got your 1000 pledges. Congratulations.

[WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! led to WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

13 Comments:

Blogger Dandapani said...

I love it when they eat their own...

8:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I've been dead broke ever since I got here. That was, what, seven years ago? . . . "

This reminds me of the Island of the Lotus Eaters. People would eat the narcotic fruit and sleep on in peaceful apathy...before you know it, 7 years have past.

10:00 PM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

"Now that Barack Obama is President, he has become the center of gravity.

[More like a black hole.]"

RAAAAAACIST!!!!!!!!!!!

9:15 AM  
Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

Tough to maintain that activist enthusiasm when your own party dominates the House, the Senate, and the Presidency...and especially to donate after the same party drives the economy off a cliff.

Cheer up, $kins, looks like you'll have some GOP leadership in charge of at least the House after November to focus on for your Public Hatings. The dough will flow again for you then, I'm sure.

9:21 AM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

"I feel obligated to censor people, even though I never liked doing it..."

First Amendment? We don't need no stinkin' First Amendment! Campus speech codes, hate speech laws, political correctness, the left is comfortable with censorship and they're doing it for our good.

"I don't want to be in America anymore. I want to run far from here."

Fidel and Hugo are calling you!

"Robbing Peter to pay Paul isn't an option anymore."

Correct! Under Obama and the Donks it is now mandatory. It's called social justice.

The DUmmies are more sullen and resentful than usual. They're chaffing under Skinner's arbitrary censorship. They're angry at Obama for failing to bring about Progressive nirvana. They can't find jobs but they can't blame Chimpy McHitler. The Donks control everything and yet everything sucks. Time to put the DU on suicide watch.

12:40 PM  
Anonymous Libfail said...

So basically they are proving that the liberal way of taxing and spending for the economy will lead to a bust. Way to go Democratic Underground!!!! Way to show us how liberals actually can lead.

2:04 PM  
Anonymous Anon 1:50 said...

"I think, to start, we're probably going to post some kind of member survey next week. . . ."

How incredibly reminiscent of our Foulup-in-Chief!

Form a committee, spark a survey, begin an investigation and then...>

A goofy speech admonishing the losers to 'suck it up', 'quit whining', and pay the taxes...er... send in the donations!

Anyone else see a pattern?

6:20 PM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

The enemy of my enemy is... still a bunch of whiney douchebags.

7:30 PM  
Anonymous JK said...

I used to smile at the DUmmieFUnnies back when Her Bushenhitler was in the White House. The DUmmies were pretty FUnnie then.

But now? Now they are fascinatingly hilarious!

I swear to God if I thought DU was actually in trouble, I'd donate myself. And probably a lot more than the DUmmies, since I actually have money and a life.

Their entertainment value is enormous now. I love that place.

Although I suspect its now about 85% lousy freeper trolls putting on a show for a clueless few. But its all good.

6:37 AM  
Anonymous Prof B said...

I just read through the whole (okay, a lot of) thread - so fascinating! These people are simultaneously psychotic and delusional. And so very funny.

PJ, you have got to include that site they're talking about in your DUFU's:

http://www.oldelmtree.com/index.php?action=forum

It's hilarious to read ridicule of DU from the DU'er's own perspective. Great stuff.

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