Thursday, August 26, 2010

DUmmies dream of Barack the Genie

Wishin' and hopin', that's what the DUmmies are doing now. The denizens of DUmmieland are holding out hope that, in spite of his piss-poor performance so far, their Obamassiah will start to deliver on their delusional dreams. We see the DUmmies rubbing on their genie lamps here in this THREAD, "Here's where you get to name three things you'd like to see President Obama do."

But before we get to the DUmmies, let's sing! Click on one of the music links and sing along!

Tune: "That Old Black Magic"
Louis and Keely Frank

That old Barack magic has me in a trance
That old Barack magic that there's half a chance
The sheer disaster that he's been till now
Will soon be over and he'll act like Mao

The same old tingle Chrissy Matthews felt
Runs up my leg and down below my belt
And such a thrill I get
Hot not chilled I get
I'm so hot, I'm starting to melt

I should keep my cool, but I'm on DU
I hear his name, and I'm insane
Insane with such delusions so grand
That somehow my wish will be his command

He is the genie I've been dreaming of
The lucky star that's shining up above
I'm so bewitched, I start to twitch
And such a thrill I get
Hot not chilled I get
In a swoon
Barking up at the moon
Under that old Barack magic called love

So now let us watch the DUmmies make their wishes, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, ever the optometrist, is in the [Barackets]:

Here's where you get to name three things you'd like to see President Obama do before the end of this year.

[DUmmie Barack2theFuture starts rubbing on his genie lamp. . . .]

1. Appoint Elizabeth Warren. . . .

[IMPEACH EARL WARREN! No wait. . . .]

1. Appoint Elizabeth Warren as head of protecting consumers from the f***ing g*dd*mned capitalists.

[Those LOUSY, NO-GOOD, ROTTEN CAPITALISTS!! Creating all that wealth and jobs and other evil stuff. . . .]

2. Fire Summers and Geithner. Replace them with demand-siders.

[Yes sir! Your demand is my command!]

3. Have a series of TV and radio heart-to-heart talks with the American people.

[Get a real evocative, tear-jerky soundtrack to go with it.]

Use that old Barack charisma. . . .

[That old Barack magic. . . .]

lay out an aggressively progressive vision for a "New New Deal". . . .

[And when THAT fails, then try a NEW New New Deal.]

Lay this out as a yardstick . . .

[. . . to spank the taxpayers with.]

explain how the end of the republican tax cuts for the wealthy is a good thing. . . .

[PUNISH those achievers, those lousy job-creators! Make them ship their stinkin' jobs out to New Dealy, India!]

If I had a #4, it would be to end DADT.

[If *I* had a #4, it would be to end DADT, Dumb-A$$ DUmmie Threads. . . . No wait, then we wouldn't have anything to laff at! So scratch that, and let's move on to the other Dumb-A$$ DUmmies. . . .]

Mine . . . Close Gitmo. . . .

[Mine . . . Clone Satchmo.]

be the fierce advocate for lgbtiq people. . . .

[Would "lgbtiq people" be people with too many consonants in their name, like Mr. Mxyzptlk or Eli Grba?]

I want him to start a "President's Questions" in front of Congress, now.

["Who am I and why am I here? For bonus points, where was I born?"]

Charge Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Gonzales, et al with war crimes.


Medicare for all/Socialized medicine.

[An honest DUmmie.]

Massive refinance of all Fannie and Freddie mortgages. . . .

[Barney Frank's wish: The Fannie of Freddie.]

Fire Arne Duncan!

[Hire Sandy Duncan!]

My 3 . . . 1. LEAD, 2. LEAD, 3. LEAD.

[Someone's been smoking the lead pipe.]

Go to a large Baptist "super church" in the South and give a nationally televised, barn burning, shout it from the rooftops speech on gay equality. . . .

[Just make sure the church has lightning insurance.]

2. Fix (eliminate) paperless electronic voting/tabulation.

[3. Then, when we Democrats lose and get our clocks cleaned, eliminate paper voting and go to electronic.]

Right now, tonight? I can only think of one. Just go away. Get your rightwing asskissing self and your neolib cronies the hell out of the White House and just go away. Give it to Biden, give it to Pelosi - I don't care. I'm just totally fed up with YOU.

[Hee! Hee! DUmmie scarletwoman wants to put the genie back in the bottle!]

1. 30-hour work week for everyone.

[30?? That's too much! Go for 10!]

2. Complete and unconditional adoption of the Metric System.

[Lay that out as the yardstick.]

3. More beer.



Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

YIKES....the Troglaman clones at DU are really getting screwy these days...

12:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Charles, have you been deemed the new guardian of all things DUmmie? Has PJ passed the torch to you or are you just a long term substitute?

FUnnie stuff. Keep up the good work.

8:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"More beer."
That's the only rational thing I've seen from a Dummie. Must be one of those lousy Freeper Trolls.

1:54 PM  
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