Tuesday, August 31, 2010

"I encountered a Muslim woman in my local supermarket this morning."

One of our favorite types of DUmmie threads is the one that goes like this: "Let me tell you about my experience in which I was the noble progressive in a sea of backwards fundie freeptards." We have an example of that today in this THREAD from DUmmie 11 Bravo, "I encountered a Muslim woman in my local supermarket this morning."

Since it involves a Muslim, this thread will also illustrate what I have always contended is the #1 driving force for the DUmmies, namely, their hatred of Christianity. But Islam puts the DUmmies in a quandary. They hate Christianity, so their kneejerk reaction is to defend Islam, as they did in the recent flap over Mosque O on the Hudson. But to defend Islam is to defend a lot of decidedly non-progressive ideas. So this puts the DUmmies in a pickle, at which point they usually resort to the idiotic yet still popular Moral Equivalence Move: "Christian fundamentalism, Islamic fundamentalism, same diff."

Like Mohammed, I am no prophet, but I predict this thread will be FUndamentally FUn! So let us now watch the tolerant yet troubled DUmmies alternately strut and squirm, in Ramadan Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, willing to "Coexist" with moonbats who put stupid bumper stickers on their cars, is in the [brackets]:

I encountered a Muslim woman in my local supermarket this morning.

[Close Encounters of the DUmmie Kind. . . . Oh, PJ wants to know: Did she have any coupons?]

She was wearing a burka, fully veiled.

[You were wearing your Birkenstocks, pony-tailed.]

No one was openly harassing her, but . . .

[. . . but I'm going to complain about them anyway.]

people were just avoiding her, while snickering behind her back.

[Actually, they were snickering at YOU, you DUmmie!]

No one would look at her, and when she sought help from a stock boy, he acted as if she were invisible.

[So she turned to you, Birkenstock boy.]

I had no idea what to do. . . .

[You are a DUmmie, after all.]

so I summoned up the sole bit of Arabic I know, approached her, and said, "As-Salaam-Alaikum". . . .

[Which means, "What an ass like I am."]

(Peace be unto you).

[Piss be upon you.]

All I could see were her eyes, but at that moment those eyes conveyed more genuine emotion than Glenn Beck at his weepy worst.

[Her eyes were tearing up from your smelly clothes.]

I thought for a moment she was going to hug me.

[That, or behead you.]

Of course, she did not, but she responded with the traditional "Alaikum salaam".

["Leave me alone, you slimeball."]

At that point all I could do was shrug and tell her, "That's all I know". She simply nodded her head and said, "Thank you."

["Thank you, I'm glad you will be going away now."]

The entire encounter took maybe 30 seconds, but I can't stop thinking about it.

[I can't stop thinking about what a noble progressive I was! Tolerant, open-minded. . . . And now I want you guys to praise me! Please begin . . .]

ah, hugs. a little piece of beauty in a whole lot of ugly.

[Bravo, DUmmie 11 Bravo!]

She's as much a victim of her religion as her religion is of the Beck/Limbaugh troglodytes. Without the perpetuation of 8th century desert mythologies she wouldn't be mandated to wear that ridiculous and imprisoning burka nonsense.

[All religion, BAD! DUmmie Codeine moves quickly to the Moral Equivalence Gambit.]

what if she is wearing it by choice ? this is in america isn't it ?

[Squirm, DUmmies, squirm!]

I would support a ban on burqas.

[Burqa's Law.]

Better to condemn the practice . . . than to pass a blanket ban on full-body veils.

[Let's have a blanket ban on banning blankets.]

I would hope for your consistency and that you would support a ban on breast implants, tanning salons, anorexia, daisy dukes, micro-mini skirts, halter tops, ect.

[Let's ban ALL clothing!]

I don't even know where to begin to address your ignorance.

[345 DUmmieland Lane . . .]

"Daisy Dukes", "miniskirts" "haltertops"..... to you I say, **** off, because I will wear them if I want to.

[benburch is STEAMED!]

I go check the mail in pajamas and bunny ears, and if it's hot outside, I water the plants wearing a bikini.

[ben, please. . . .]

A vagina is not a replacement for a brain.

[Words to live by.]

Maybe you need to get over yourself and not try to tell females how they SHOULD FEEL.

[Oh, how the DUmmies are squirming!]

This is a complex issue, with layer upon layer and yes, many of us are like fish and water. . . .

[All wet.]

how about those who want to hang out naked?

[Depends how far they're hanging out.]

I want to be as free as the Amazon tribesmen. . . .


All the major religions are misogynistic.

[All people who make sweeping generalizations should be shot!]

the hatred and ridicule on display in this country over Muslims is disgusting. Sometimes I really hate this country and Americans in general. Ignorant f***ing pieces of sh*t. Unfortunately people like Palin and Beck usually live to ripe old ages instead of dying of painful illnesses like they deserve.

[I HATE those haters!]

I'm just a little baffled that suddenly Islam is flavor of the month at DU.

[Two scoops of Iraqi Road.]

Honor killings and beatings by ultra conservative religionists of virtually all stripes. . . .

[Lutherans do honor killings for bringing bad casseroles to the potluck.]

Ah, what a f***ing know it all (Codeine) . . . 8th century myths? You wanna know a REAL f***ing myth? The myth of a know it all who is certain there is nothing beyond the god of scienctism. . . .

[DUmmie Raoul, God has blessed you with a Brief Moment of Mental Clarity, and so we award you today's Kewpie Doll!]

I just feel a bit sickened by the sudden DU lovefest for all things Islamic. Honestly, it's a bit insane that we're suddenly rushing to embrace a religion so anathema to Progressive values just because the right-wing f***tards have their panties in a wad over the Finacial District mosque.

[DUmmie Codeine sees the DUmmie dilemma: Defending Mosque O on the Hudson (since it's not Christian), while at the same time not endorsing Muslim Family Values.]

One ugly American started screaming at a young woman wearing the Hijab... so I stepped in . . .

[. . . and gave him a high jab.]

Guess what? The same kind of behavior is quite often shown to Goths, scene kids and anyone else not fitting into the "norm." I hope everyone is as kind to the Goths--they need lovin', too.

[And don't ostracize the Ostrogoths, either.]

I shave my head and while it has become more acceptable for women to do so, I still have varied reactions from people. . . .

[Ranging all the way from disgust to ridicule.]

I use what I call urban camouflage - it seems like I'm an ordinary, middle aged nurse, when I'm actually a polyamorous hippy living in a stable triad.

[You're probably a Polident-using hippo living in a stable.]

I was a nun at one time and wore a habit . . .

[. . . but then I got out of the habit.]

Jazakallah Khairan


All the worlds religions subjugate women, except Wicca.

[Lou: Witch religion?
Bud: Wicca.
Lou: Right, witch religion!
Bud: Look, I told you, Wicca! . . .]

i am a presbyterian and will be so until i die . . .

[. . . and become a Lutheran in heaven.]


Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

"[Let's ban ALL clothing!]"

Easy now, take a second and just think about how much mind bleach we'd need if we did that.

9:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tanker, we'd need absolutely none: after the first microsecond of exposure to some lib like, oh, say, Hillary or Nancy or Helen,your retinas would be so scarred, we'd never see anything again ever.
Although, exposure to Sarah Palin, et al, might offset the retina scarring. Hmmm...Brain Bleach! Getcher Brain Bleach right here!

1:37 PM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

I suspect that 11Bravo's supermarket encounter is another bit of DUmmie fiction. The Dummies are constantly involved in chance meetings, run-ins and parking lot confrontations that enable them to prove their greater intellect and moral superiority over freepers, fundies, red necks, Repukes, Beckites and assorted "phobic" Americans in need of stiff dose of DUmmification.

And so "11Bravo" is one-upped by
"nadinbrzezinski" who avers:

"One ugly American started screaming at a young woman wearing the hijab...so I stepped in, and called him on his racism."

3:55 PM  
Anonymous Corona said...

We all know what would happen to that woman if her husband found out she talked to another man of another belief, don't we. That schmuck trying to be oh so open minded could've unknowingly sealed her fate. She was probably more frightened than he was, which tells you which one was braver.

6:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"As-Salaam-Alaikum". Or as we say while deployed in Iraq "a salami and bacon". Much funnier that way.

7:36 PM  
Anonymous Keith said...

"what if she is wearing it by choice ? this is in america isn't it?"

What a DUmbass. That's the equivalent of saying "What if she chose to be stoned to death because she were raped in order to protect her family's honor"? I hope this poster is a chick because he sure sounds like one.

7:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for reading DU so we don't have to. That was a hilarious and revealing thread.

8:05 PM  
Blogger JorgXMcKie said...

"when she sought help from a stock boy, he acted as if she were invisible."

Hmmmm. Perhaps had she not been wearing the equivalent of a Ninja costume he could have seen her.

I generally tend to think that when people cover up like that they don't want you paying attention to them, but maybe that's just me.

And she could have possibly, maybe have *ASKED* directly for help? Not depended on the ability of the stockboy to read her mind? [Well, unless he was obviously Troglaman the Mind-Reader Extraordinaire. Then she could have expected it. And stockboy would appear to be a job he could handle, with some effort.]

12:18 PM  
Anonymous JK said...

"Sometimes I really hate this country and Americans in general."

Well that sure sums up all liberalism in one tidy sentence, doesn't it?

There you have it. The unvarnished truth behind every last thing liberals do.

"Sometimes I really hate this country and Americans in general."

5:45 PM  
Anonymous Anon 1:50 said...


And I want the freedom to wear a ski mask and goggles anywhere I go because, I...


It's my religious right! I'm a a Skeezitarian and you have no right to see my face or identify me in photographic id

Or in banks...

Or on airplanes....

6:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"the Beck/Limbaugh troglodytes."-DUmmie

That's troglaMAN to you buddy.

"[And don't ostracize the Ostrogoths, either.]"-CH

What about the Visigoths!? Hater.

12:20 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"...this thread will also illustrate what I have always contended is the #1 driving force for the DUmmies, namely, their hatred of Christianity" PJinc

Really? Does anyone here think this thread demonstrates THE NUMBER ONE DRIVING FORCE FOR THE duMMIES - THEIR HATRED OF CHRISTIANITY"?

PJinc thinks so. Personally, I thought it was their hatred of America. Or their support of terrorism. But no. It's their hatred of Christianity. So there you go. The prophet has spoken. As goes Beck, so goes PJinc.

What's always amazed me is the number of statements like this that just sort of slide through...like they're simply a given fact of life...like if I, troglaman, was sitting at the bar next to you, and muttered something about the libtards hating Christianity, you'd all be like "fucking yeah, dude...where the hell have you been?"

Jesus was a libtard, remember? Beard, long hair, loved whores and lepers and shit; turned water to wine (what's that tell you?) and was reportedly middle eastern.

Getting scary now.

And when and if he showed up today and started preaching shit like loving your enemy and thou shalt not kill and turning the other cheek and the meek shall inherit the earth and doing unto others as you would want them to do unto you...

You fuckers would crucify him.

Don't forget he's a middle eastern.

You hypocrites don't believe one word of the above...not one.

Is it such a leap of thought to consider the fact that you're the ones on wrong side of this issue? That you're upside down? That you, not me, hate Christianity?

If you have any doubts about my assertion, consider 'Thou shalt not kill'. It's a commandment, is it not?

(What will follow is a whole bunch of excuses, biblical explanations, and Christian justifications for killing)

And how about 'Love thy enemy'?

(What will follow is a whole bunch of excuses, biblical explanations, and Christian justifications for not loving thy enemy)

You don't want to feed the poor. You don't want to heal the sick. And you want to kill your enemy. Hmmm.

That's Christian? What would a middle eastern long haired Jew preaching love and peace think about you? I'll tell you.

He'd think you're full of shit.

You jackasses wouldn't recognize Jesus if he were hanging off your balls by his teeth.

So goes the resurrection and rapture, motherfuckers. The meek shall inherit the earth.

1:06 AM  
Anonymous PB said...

C'mon, Troglaman:

Yawn. Rather ancient recycled liberal talking points. Still used but generally giggle-worthy. I mean, don't feel bad - its a tactic common to the immature crowd, regardless of politics. Plenty of childish conservatives like to tell liberals they aren't liberal, too. Or tell feminists they hate women.

All silly. All cliche. I expect better.

But nevertheless, my vulgar and rather excited pal, I'll cheerfully agree with your main point (and disagree with whoever you were disagreeing with):

No, liberals do not hate Christianity. Or assuming arguendo that that do tend to hate Christianity, that is NOT their defining characteristic.

What they hate, above all else, is America. They hate America, its founding principles, its founders, its history, its society, and its culture. They hate free speech, personal responsibility, individual liberty, independent thought, self-reliance, and critical thinking.

They hate America and all it stands for. YOU hate America and all it stands for.

Liberals only hate Christianity as an afterthought - because America just happens to be a primarily Christian nation. If most Americans were Muslims, liberals would actually get around to hating that, too.

Yes, you're welcome. Clarifying the mysterious for the clueless is always enjoyable.

Carry on.

7:07 AM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...


"You fuckers would crucify him...He [Jesus] thinks you're full of shit...You jackasses... motherfuckers..."

Thanks for those 60s style, pop cultural, "Jesus Christ, Superstar" insights into Jesus, Christainity and our sinfulness.

Jesus also said "Judge not, lest you be judged." Something for you might consider before your next incoherent rant.


1:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"All silly. All cliche. I expect better."-PB

Why? When has he ever given you a reason to expect better?

1:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I'm actually a polyamorous hippy living in a stable triad."

Stable Triad? That sounds like the camera tripod I'm getting my wife for her birthday.

2:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Daisy Dukes", "miniskirts", "haltertops"....to you i say, **** off, because I will wear them if I want to.

You tell 'em, troglaman, fight the power!

4:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thou shall not murder.

8:28 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Yawn. Rather ancient recycled liberal talking points. Still used but generally giggle-worthy." Peanut Butter

I know. Ten Commandments/Sermon of the Mount talking points are SO fucking giggly and BORING. What kind of liberal puppy-assed sparkle pony crap talking-point is "Love thy enemy"? Jesus Fucking Christ.

Peanut Butter has decided that the words of our Lord and Savior are ancient bullshit liberal talking points.

Anyone else find the irony? Of course not.

12:35 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Jesus also said "Judge not, lest you be judged." Something for you might consider before your next incoherent rant. Putz." elrond

Did you just judge me as a "putz"? Did you? See, because if you did, that would nullify your ultimately incoherent rant.

I find it interesting that the two self-proclaimed atheists and evolutionists on this site are arguing about Jesus.

Don't you, elrond?

12:50 AM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

Since I'm an agnostic and you're an athiest I recommend the issuance of a restraining order keeping religion out of the arguement.

Instead of "what would Jesus say?" the correct question (for us) would be "what would Darwin say?".

Does that make us Social Darwinists?

11:52 AM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

Troggy, you are one disgusting person (I apologize to all people everywhere). Your using Jesus Christ's name with the "f" word is totally , totally...I can't even come up with a word that discribes your sorry soul. You are one ugly person, inside and out. I thought you were low, but this takes the cake. I can take all the filthy names you have called me with a grain of salt, but when you defame my Savior, I am totally disgusted. May God have mercy on your soul. (And don't think calling me Church Lady will bother me, it's not me you blasphemed.)

11:57 AM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

"Troggy, you are one disgusting person...I can't even come up with a word that discribes your sorry soul...I am totally disgusted."

You just made troggy's day. That's why he posts here.

5:24 PM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

Frankly, my dear, EH, I don't give a damn. I'm a Christian, and I don't take too kindly to my Lord being blasphemed. If troggy gets his rocks off over my disdain for him, that's his problem. He only feels hate for us anyway. What he says or does doesn't affect my life one iota. In fact, I don't hate him, I only feel pity for him. It must be awful being him.

8:29 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Troglaman The Guttersnipe is simply a pathetic humanoid who would normally be someone who couldn't find his ass with both hands and a road map...but since he power-slams his head up his ass so frequently at least he knows where it is.

11:20 AM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

JG, that's hilarious. It always makes me laugh out loud.

11:27 AM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

I always LOVE LOVE LOVE athiest reactionary leftist lecturing real Christians about Christianity.

As if they had a fucking clue what they are nattering about.


2:58 PM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

"Did you just judge me as a "putz"?"

Maybe a superputz. An order of magnitude more stupid and obtuse than your run-of-the-mill putz.

3:00 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Since I'm an agnostic and you're an athiest.." elrond

elrond'd like to point that out...like it means something.

PJinc brought up the ridiculous notion of "the #1 driving force for the DUmmies, namely, their hatred of Christianity".

I, troglaman, didn't.

So "recommend the issuance of a restraining order keeping religion out of the arguement" to PJinc. Not me.

That all has to do with the fucking point, dimwit. Do you honestly think libtards "hate" Christianity when it's the libtards that want to help the poor? Help the sick? Help the down-and-out? Entitlements?

One of the most absurd notions in America is that RepubliDUms are closer to Jesus. It's ABSURD. You couldn't be further away.

3:51 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Frankly, my dear, EH, I don't give a damn. I'm a Christian, and I don't take too kindly to my Lord being blasphemed. If troggy gets his rocks off over my disdain for him, that's his problem." susie

When did I blasphemy thy lord, susie.

Answer is, I didn't.

Love thy enemy, susie. Turn the other cheek. Treat others as you would have them treat you.

That's blasphemy?

Since those are "the Lord's" words, then anyone understanding them as blasphemous would, by definition, be part of Satan's army. Don't you think?

4:05 AM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

You know, troggy, you are about as dumb as a box of rocks; and I'm so sorry for that. Is that how you look at things; that I'm your enemy? I don't have it in me to hurt you at all. In my heart, I don't hate. Hate eats you up. At one time, you were probably nice, till life turned you bitter. Such a pity.

8:13 AM  
Anonymous trogsquasher said...

C'mon susieq2cute, there's no reason to insult rocks like that...

4:46 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Is that how you look at things; that I'm your enemy?" susie

I never said you're my enemy. When did I say that? You're just making shit up again...unless you were referring to being a soldier in Satan's Army.

Then the answer would be yes, you're my enemy. I, the Mighty troglaman, will do everything I can to smite you. Then smite you again and again until you give yourself to the Almighty.


2:03 AM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

Gee, troggy, I'm so glad I'm not your enemy.....maybe you'll stop calling me those filthy names then. Or do you call your friends (probably all one of them) filthy names, too?

5:50 AM  
Anonymous tonto's expanding headband said...

"Satan's Army"? You going religious on us troglaman? Has the strayed lamb returned to the flock? Or do you consider anyone to your political right as being devilish and in need of being smitten by the mighty trog?

2:38 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"You going religious on us troglaman?" tonto expando

You bet. And you deserve to be smitten...because you're bad and evil.

Try this - a little role reversal. You're me, troglaman. And I'm you, the vast nation of dumbshits.

Have you gotten that fact that you're fucked yet? By the Dumbshit Nation? Yes you have. Friggin pathetic, isn't it?

2:43 AM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

Switch roles with you, troggy? Whew, that sent a shiver up my spine. Not even on a good day would I ever entertain the thought!
Oh, the ugly that lives in that soul.

5:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Bible is God's Word. The Qu'ran is God's turd.

3:15 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"maybe you'll stop calling me those filthy names." susie

Susie's called me a douche-bag and told me to fuck off. Among other things. Fact.

So this 'stop calling me those filthy names" bullshit sounds like some 1950's, Freudian conflict, Joan Crawford movie to me.

You wouldn't happen to ACTUALLY BE Joan Crawford, would you susie?

1:42 AM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

Yeah, trogladouche, I am a dead movie star; and I'm also ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.
Yes, I am guilty as charged, I have called you a douche (as my opening salvo shows). But, I have never used the "f" word; as I don't use that particular word. That is your domain. Not that I wouldn't like to use it concerning you. But, I have something that you know nothing about, troggy, and that is self-control. You might try it sometime. For a change, you see.

11:49 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

You're right, susie. I was mixing you and kat up, cause she said:

"Since when did you care what we think? You're not asking sincere questions but searching for another way to mock and demean us. Fuck off." kat

So, anyway...I, troglaman, guess the *f* word is not just my domain, is it?


2:26 AM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

Where's the apology? You owe me an apology......crickets chirping.....

5:40 AM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

Hey, troggy, who's the dumb one? You can't remember who said what...dummy! You make it too, too easy.

3:27 PM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...


I admire your restraint in the face of trog's endless provocations. Your refusal to drop the "f" bomb on him is admirable.

Let me do it for you.

Hey toggy, fuck yourself, dumbass.

BTW troggy, I'm not a "she", I'm something else. Figure it out.

4:29 PM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

Thank you, KK. I sure do appreciate that! lol

Uh, oh, I notice you've given troggy a multiple choice quiz. I don't think he's smart enough to pass it. lol

5:00 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"BTW troggy, I'm not a "she", I'm something else. Figure it out." kat

Ummm...hippo?...poltergeist?...alien?...Freddie Kruger?...Rosie O'Donnell?...watermelon?...she-beast?...giant clam?...milf?...typing chimp?...

I give up. What the heck are you, kat? We're all on the edge of our seats.

1:26 AM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

I told you he'd fail.

5:38 AM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...


A spectacular failure.

12:35 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"I told you he'd fail." susie

You're a hippo. You just don't want to admit it.

I wouldn't either.

1:50 AM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

Gee, are we in kindergarten here? Umm, want me to play along, troggy. Let's see.....you're a donkey. Tag, you're it.

Gee, troggy, you're one crayon short of a full box.

What an idiot!

6:03 AM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

"You're a hippo."

Not even close. Just enjoy the ambiguity.

12:46 PM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

Yes, KK, troggy does excel in one thing, and that is failure. He does the fail real well.

3:22 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

Bet you wish the girls were piling on your sorry asses, losers.

"Just enjoy the ambiguity." kat

I will, kat. For however long it takes.

To recap, this is the mysterious riddle kat's left us:

"BTW troggy, I'm not a "she", I'm something else. Figure it out." kat

Help me out here, you selfish bastards. Any ideas?

I'm betting on poltergeist.

3:05 AM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

"I'm betting on poltergeist."

Bingo! I'm the ghost of Everett Dirksen.

2:37 PM  

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