DUmmie FUnnies 01-31-06 ("I'm calling for political CIVIL WAR in the Democratic Party...")

WARNING! DUmmieland is now in total MELTDOWN Mode. Despite the assurances yesterday from benburch that they really won, the DUmmies are incredibly angry as you can see in this THREAD titled, "I'm calling for political CIVIL WAR in the Democratic Party..." Of course there are many similar Meltdown threads so I had a RICH target of opportunity today. The DUmmie Bounty has indeed been plentiful since the coming of the Apocalito. I expect it will be even more so tomorrow after the State of the Union Address where the DUmmies, as a fringe benefit, will have to view newly sworn in Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito sitting in the front row with the other Justices. And since Alito now has a LIFETIME appointment, he no longer has to worry about being polite so it would be great if he would blow a kiss to Ted Kennedy just to watch the veins on The Swimmer's neck pop out. In any event, let us now be royally entertained by the current DUmmie Meltdown in Boiling Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thanking the DUmmies for all the great Meltdown Audition Material, is in the [brackets]:

I'm calling for political CIVIL WAR in the Democratic Party...

[RAMPAGE! LOOT! BURN!!!]

I say we get the 25 with guts together in a room with DNC chair Howard Dean, and all the base who can come, and we, before taking back our country, take back our damned party. If we keep electing Dems just to get a majority, and they keep voting like this, what's the damned point? Either they're with us or they're against us. Period.

[While you're in that room with Dean, you might want to ask him how he blew all those millions of Democrat campaign money.]

THIS IS NOT SOME PH*CKING POLITICAL GAME WE'RE PLAYING HERE...FREEDOM IS ON THE LINE...IT'S WORTH FIGHTING FOR.

REVOLT! REVOLUTION! POLITICAL CIVIL WAR!

[Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! rage! blow!
You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout
Till you have drench'd our steeples, drown'd the cocks!
You sulphurous and thought-executing fires,
Vaunt-couriers to oak-cleaving thunderbolts,
Singe my white head! And thou, all-shaking thunder,
Smite flat the thick rotundity o' the world!
Crack nature's moulds, an germens spill at once,
That make ingrateful man!]

it is the right time--the momenta is with us.

[Act now! In the moment of your "victory" (as per benburch).]

Let's make those cowards rue the day they...
took us for granted. They don't get our votes just because they have a damned (D) beside their name. It doesn't mean anything anymore. You're right...IT'S TIME!!!

[John Kerry (D-Davos)]

I say we should send our DINOs over to the Republican party. Let the R's spend their money trying to keep our DINOs in place while we run real Democrats against them.

[My favorite DINO sang "That's Amore!"]

For me, it's either FIGHT to get our party back and have a real opposition party, or never vote again.

[On the plus side, you will be having extra free time on Election Day.]

Will the Democratic party suddenly grow a pair and begin impeachment proceedings just because they have the majority?

[We got knocked off our feet by the ApocAlito so...LET THE CHIMPEACHMENT BEGIN!!!]

Political Civil War. I'm putting on the DEMOCRATIC BLUE UNIFORM.

[With the yellow EQUAL SIGN (=) shoulder patch.]

I think Kerry and Kennedy ought to offer...
up legislation in the mean time CODIFYING Roe v. Wade, and privacy rights, so that it doesn't matter any more who sits on the supreme court. It's time to fight for PRINCIPLE instead of party.

[That would be the equivalent of performing an abortion on the Democrat party.]

Yes, I'm furious for getting kicked in the gut again today, but I'll eventually get out my checkbook and give money to Governor Dean...

[...so he can flush the funds down the toilet AGAIN.]

It's time Howard raised the stakes in this poker game.

[He already lost a big pot by betting on an inside straight.]

NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE SILENT....LET THEM KNOW THEIR POLITICAL LIVES ARE ON THE LINE...we're coming after them.

[YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!]

We haven't heard much from Howard Dean...
where does he stand on this exactly?

[In the Northeast corner of the Rubber Room.]

. I hadn't heard yet either...but, he works for US...not the other way around. This civil war only takes place if WE demand it....we tell him, you can be the general, or not. Your choice...WE ARE TAKING BACK OUR PARTY!! I think we give the ultimatum. And, I believe he'll be with us.

[You're a bit upset so Mommy will be sliding your pizza through the basement door slot tonight.]

I'm all for cleaning house! Do you suppose Howard Dean truly has what it takes to kick some traitor Democratic Senate butt?

[Don't you worry! Howard Dean packs a mighty powerful Butterfly Net.]

WE NEED OUR OWN PARTY!!!!! A DIFFERENT, MORE PROGRESSIVE PARTY......WITH BALLS TO STAND UP AND FIGHT! I say we get Paul Hackett or someone like him, to lead the exodus from this pathetic excuse of a party..

[The Socialist Workers Party heartily welcomes you.]

The time has come for a party split. Progressive Democrats can more effectively leverage our numbers if we take the 20 odd senators and 80 or so reps and form a new party with better discipline and a unified party platform.

[Let the Bolivaran Revolution Begin!!!]

Hell, there might even be a few republicans...
who would switch to such a party.

[I think his name is John McCain.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-30-06 ("Why we won today" ---benburch)

There were a lot of weird DUmmie postings on the heels of the FAILURE of the Alito filibuster attempt. However, the STRANGEST of the postings has to go to benburch who posted on this DUmmie THREAD, "Why we won today." Yeah, great win there, benburch. Oh, and did you know that John Kerry really won in 2004? And I suppose you are sitting in the backyard still waiting for the arrival of the Great Pumpkin and Fitzmas. Yes, all DUmmieland is in a deep funk but leave it to DUmmie benburch to find some silver lining in their septic tank. So let us now allow DUmmie benburch entertain us with this "WIN" in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who wonders if the Coyote considers it a win everytime the ACME Co. package explodes in his face, is in the [brackets]:

Why we won today.

[Didn't the captain of the Titanic claim the same thing as his ship slipped beneath the waves?]

I know what you are thinking; "Has Ben finally gone around the bend? We lost today. Alito is on the bench to destroy America."

[Actually I thought benburch went around the bend LONG ago.]

But we did win, and I'll tell you how;

[And NOW the comedy starts...]

Eight days ago, there was no opposition to Alito whatsoever. No filibuster was planned, and even had one been started, there was not a chance in hell that anybody but the one Senator to propose it would vote against cloture. The Far Right had just had "Justice Sunday" an illegal use of the pulpit to promote a political agenda which they spent millions of dollars on in order to motivate their zombie-like zealots, and it looked like no opposition was even possible.

[BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Just 24 Democrats plus Jumpin' Jim vote for the filibuster and THAT is a victory? You're on a roll, benburch!]

In that eight days, we worked a miracle; We got the man who was elected President in the last stolen election to declare that he was going to filibuster, and we got MANY (I don't have the final count) Democratic Senators to vote NAY on cloture. We organized a campaign entirely through our resources here on the Internet, and swamped every fax machine and phone line in Washington DC and elsewhere with our message to vote against Alito and against cloture. We have proven that we can motivate and act with little money and few resources a campaign that nearly set the massively funded GOP Fascist Juggernaut on its ear.

[Yes, tremendous filibuster attempt by John Kerry (D-Davos) from the Swiss ski slopes. He got only a little over half of the Democrats to go along with the filibuster. But but continue with your win spin...]

And we learned who our friends are; Those Senators, bloggers, and broadcasters who stood by us, or who were honest enough to be convinced by us to support our Cause deserve our praise and unending support in the dark days to come.

[You also had tremendous support from the sanity-challenged community.]

As for our enemies; All of the GOP Fascists and those Quislings who voted Aye on cloture, we now know your names. We know your districts, and we will see each and every one of you defeated in turn.

[Great. Turn on your fellow Democrats who voted Aye on cloture. Eat your own party alive. Oh, and congrats on the "WIN."]

The fight is before us.

[This fight already left the station this afternoon.]

It may be a dark and literally deadly struggle for some of us, but it must be fought and fought with the sort of tenacity that I saw in these last blessed days. Let the last week be remembered as the week we first stood as one, and not the last.

[I prefer to think of it as YET another case of Lucy pulling the football away from you AGAIN.]

Comrades! Are you with me in the fight to take back America?

[Sure. Why end the comedy tour? It is proving great material for the DUmmie FUnnies. And now to read about your DUmmie comrades jubilantly celebrating this "WIN!"]

You are right, Ben, and we now know the score.

[The score: 74 to 25. Congrats on your tremendous "WIN!"]

I have always tried to be a "my glass is half-full" kinda gal. It has been rather hard these past years but words like yours give one hope...again.

[NEWSFLASH! Your glass is completely EMPTY.]

Look, I am not flaming you, but I couldn't disagree more. When the supreme court goes hard right on every ruling because of Alito, are you going to think of this day as a victory?

[Absolutely! Isn't this "WIN" just wonderful? Let us all CELEBRATE this "WIN" with DUmmie benburch!]

but of course they won. i was in it for three days, night and day, felt good to think we might have a chance. but really, reality..... we never had a chance. dems tried, grassroots grew, and we have about a third of dems we can count on and work with. we know who to go to

[HEY! Come on! Put on your party hat! Let's all join DUmmie benburch in celebrating this "WIN!"]

I think the Repubs will be plenty happy winning battles overwhelmingly even if they never anticipated the battle.

[True. The Alito battle was enjoyable made even more so by the salsa spice of the doomed Democrat filibuster struggle thrown in.]

They are gloating!! Ted Kennedy spoke about an article in the paper where the Repug's were gloating all over the place. He quoted something like them saying, "We've got them boxed in." I shouldn't be surprised. I an't stand this.

[True. We are GLOATING as evidenced by you all being featured in this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies. However, one difference between us and you DUmmies. We gloat only AFTER the WIN takes place not before when based on phony exit polls.]

It was a long shot, and we didn't get the result we wanted. But we now know who we can trust, and who we cannot.

[PURGE the Democrat AYE voters! Eat your own!!!]

Same shit different day.

[Same Lucy football. Pulled away every day.]

Kerry went on vacation. We got hung out to dry.
And we did, again, today. How many times do they get to f*ck us over before we call it what it is and say ENOUGH

[John Kerry (D-Davos) has your back.]

this is good stuff. i am not depressed, i am impressed. yes i am. right there with you dude

[Better take another hit on that good stuff, dude, before reality kicks back in.]

The Democrat Party: Always Too Little Too Late. I do not share your optimism.

[But you must. You MUST! Put on a Happy Face. WHEEEEEE!!! It was a "WIN!!!"]

I love your optimism Ben, but I feel like shit...I feel like I did all I could, but could I have done more?

[Yes! You could have put on a phony benburch smile in celebration of this "WIN!"]

Dust off, drink a pint, and plan for the next battle.

[And take a hit on the crack pipe.]

Goodbye, America. It was nice knowing you.

[Goodbye, Mr. Optimist.]

Where's a St. Crispin's day speech when you need one?

[Since you guys got fried today, A St. Crispy speech would be more appropriate.]

I will not yield. I'm in it to the end. Let those who don't have the stomach for this long term fight leave. I wouldn't die in their company if they will not stand with us.

[You're in it until the box next to your 'puter screen runs out of donuts.]

I'm with you...but you know what really pisses me off?
Knowing that those f*cks are laughing and mocking our failed effort. So smug.

[BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!]

that's putting frosting on dogshit.

[That's pretty much the theme of this benburch thread.]

We won because we joined the battle. We did not lay down and just take it. And we will remove Alito when we win. And we will undo much of the damage.

[Enjoying your frosting-covered dogshit, benburch? And would you mind telling us peons how a lifetime appointed Supreme Court justice can be removed?]

I am with you. We are all with you. More people than who were counted in the last election are with you. And we're going to take back America, no matter what. If we can't do it today, we'll do it tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, until the Bushiviks are disposed of.

[That frosting-covered dogshit must be very yummie!]

It's the Vichy Democrats vs. the Patriotic Democrats.

[vs. the frosting-covered dogshit Democrats.]

Maybe so, Ben but it feels to me like we got our asses kicked.
I'm getting damned tired of moral victories.

[Just take a bit out of your frosting-covered dogshit and put on a big fake smile like you enjoy it.]

Are you kidding me? I don't know what the original poster is smoking, but what happened today was not only a loss, but a catastrophic loss at that.

[Perhaps you need to coat your dogshit dinner with a bit more frosting.]

agreed I'm so SICK of this fake optimism! America is lost for good. There is no going back.

[Just for that, no frosting-covered dogshit for dessert for you!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-30-06 ("I've got IT!"---DUmmie Finds BRILLIANT Way To Defeat GOP)

Watch out, Republicans! A DUmmie "genius" by the name of Up2Late has figured out a way to defeat you at the polls. You will be impressed by the incredible effectiveness of his ingenious plan which you can see on this DUmmie THREAD titled, "I've got IT!" For those of you who will remain unimpressed by DUmmie Up2Late's brilliant strategy, I guess you can chalk it up to a severe case of Alitosis on his part. This disease is currently rampaging throughout DUmmieland. The main symptom of Alitosis is a complete loss of rational faculties accompanied by a plunge into delusional fantasies. I expect the Alitosis disease to reach its fevered peak right after the filibuster vote scheduled for later today. So let us enjoy the DUmmie outbursts of Alitosis in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, welcoming Up2Late as the Democrat version of Karl Rove, is in the [brackets]:

I've got IT! And by "It" I mean the destroy the GOP strategy, that will...leed to the self-destruction of the GOP.




[Shhh...IT! So you've got IT! Oh do tell, DUmmie Up2Late. Enlighten us with your political strategy wisdom that will "leed" to the self-destruction of the GOP.]

The only problem is, we need a brave House or Senate Democrat who is relatively unknown (nationally), is willing to take a BIG political risk, has STRONG Democratic support at home, and who wouldn't mind possibly being chosen President of the United States in 2008 by popular consensus.

[Such a downer. A Senate Democrat has to take a political risk and all he gets in exchange is a lousy job as President. Continue...]

As I'm sure you know by now, the GOP has captured a Huge number of swing/undecided voters by doing one thing: They keep their message simple, though I think they may have made it so simple as to make it VERY deceptive. Duh, right?

[At least you are correct in the "DUh" part. Continue with your political enlightenment, DUmmie Up2Late.]

Here's the strategy. The GOP message is so over simplified that it can be easily proved as LIES! So let's just call them what they are, Lairs!

ALL REPUBLICANS ARE LIARS!

[BRILLIANT! ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!!! Karl Rove is now quaking in his boots at your discovery of a campaign strategy that will sweep away forever the EVIL Republicans from the political scene!]

Now I know, some of you are going to say, "But my Brother's a Republican, and HE'S not a Lier." Shut-up! Yes he is.

[All, ALL of the EVIL Republicans are "LIERS!!!" You think different? Shut up! They are ALL "liers!!!"]

And once we plant this simple truth in the MSM and the minds of the "undecided" voters, any Republican that claims He/She is NOT a lier will have to OFFER PROOF that they are NOT a lier, which, while doing so, will expose themselves and their fellow liars/Republicans as the lier they are.

[Hey Republican! You just shut up and try to prove you are not a "lier!" Every news report about Republicans will just assume they are "liers!" Every time a Republican tries to debate a Democrat, he must first try to prove he is not a "LIER!"]

If you need any proof of the FACT that Republicans are liars, just look around. Read the News from the last 5 years, everything they have said and done for the last 5 years is ALL based on Lies!

[And we don't need no stinkin' facts because we just assume that EVERYTHING the Republicans say are just a bunch of Lies! And not only are they "liers" but they are a bunch of lousy Poo-Poo Heads too!]

Yes, we might lose a few Democrats along the way, GOOD! I say Good riddens to them. They are a taint on the Democratic party. If this results in a house cleaning of corrupt Democrats too, I welcome it.

[Good "riddens" to the Democrats who don't want to call all Republicans "liers!"]

We need to STOP explaining how what we say is the truth, because what they say is ALL Lies, and it's time that the non-committed Democrats wake up to that fact. Let them try to explain why what they say is NOT a lie, they will only dig themselves deeper and deeper into the hole they are currently in.

[We don't need to waste our time arguing with Republicans. We just call them a bunch of "liers." Let them try to deny that they are "liers," oh, and lousy Poo-Poo Heads as well.]

So, for 2008: The Democratic party: The party of the Truth.

[I will now bask in the glow of DUmmie admiration as my fellow DUmmies tell me how BRILLIANT I am.]

Everybody knows Republicans lie about everything.

[Oh, that is an indisputable fact but DUmmie Up2Late has turned that fact into a political strategy for bringing down the EVIL Republicans. Sit at the feet of the Wise One and sip at the brilliant golden cup of his sage political analysis.]

Everyone knows, but still, it's not said often enough what liars they are. We need to take the offense, and this is one of the ways. Just like the other side made the phrase "flip flop" stick, we need to make the phrase "Republican liars" a part of American vocabulary. "Fox Republican News"...Never mention the word Fox without the word Republican next to it. "Republican liars"...Never mention one word without the other. If it's said often enough and in the right places, they're automatically guilty by association

[Whenever a Republican tries to argue with you, just place your hands over your ears and scream over and over and over again: "REPUBLICAN LIARS! REPUBLICAN LIARS! REPUBLICAN LIARS!" That's the way to win arguments with those lousy Poo-Poo Heads.]

The problem, of course, is the corporate media.
Unless you have some other means of getting out the message. maybe just big billboards everywhere:

ALL REPUBLICANS ARE LIARS

[BRILLIANT! Those billboards will absolutely convince the majority of the voters because the message is INDISPUTABLE. Way to slam the Republicans!]

It will work be cause they ARE liars, and would have to prove they...are NOT. All Politicians lie in one way or another, the difference is, Democrats do it (or should) for the greater good, Republicans lie for the select few.

[Republicans tell BAD lies and Democrats tell only GOOD lies.]

Democrats who lie, do it for the RIGHT reasons...

[All Democrat lies are GOOD lies.]

No matter what happens with Alito this week, I think we must all stay engaged and find ways to keep on being "pro-active", especially in ways that challenge the far right in a very direct way.

[Such as billboards that say: "ALL REPUBLICANS ARE LIARS!"]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-27-06 ("Folks, the filibuster is dead" ---Pied Piper Pitt)

Even for Pied Piper Pitt, this is a very fast turnaround time. Yesterday, Pitt proudly posted the following thread, "Source tells me Kerry is now openly in favor of a filibuster" to much DUmmie acclaim. HOORAH! The fight is ON!!! Well, it WAS on until this morning when Pied Piper Pitt did a total turnabout with this: Folks, the filibuster is dead. Oops! Apparently the "source" Pitt so proudly cited the day before got back to him with the information that Kerry can't be bothered with leaving the Swiss ski slopes so COOL IT on the whole filibuster cheerleading shtick. Thus we have the turnaround routines AGAIN for two of the DUFU faves, Pied Piper Pitt and Mama T's Boy Toy. So let us now watch yet ANOTHER in a series of Pied Piper Pitt's infamous backtracks in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, enjoying the same ol' Pitt vaudeville act no matter how many times he performs the SAME routine, is in the [brackets]:

Folks, the filibuster is dead

[And so is any shred of Pied Piper Pitt credibility.]

It is simple math at this point.

[1+1 = 2 Heinz/Kerrys on a Swiss vacation.]

44 Democratic Senators + 1 Independent = 45

[1 Independent Jumpin' Jim with the office in the Senate bathroom.]

41 Senators needed to sustain a filibuster. That's a margin of four, assuming that Jeffords would stand with the filibuster, which is not at all certain.

[Jumpin' Jim has your back.]

Byrd, Johnson and Nelson are all voting 'aye.' Easy assumption is that they will not support a filibuster of the guy they intend to vote in favor of.

[But...but just YESTERDAY you posted in DUmmieland that just because a senator was voting 'aye' on Alito didn't necessarily mean they wouldn't join in on a filibuster. Could our insightful political analyst, Pied Piper Pipe, possibly be.....WRONG????]

We're down to 42, assuming Jeffords is with us.

[You'll be down even more than that when the final tally comes out. Way down in Jumpin' Jim's toilet.]

Biden has said he won't support a filibuster. So has Landrieu. Akaka and Dorgan support cloture.

[And with Byrd, Johnson, and Nelson that takes you down to 40. Game over.]

That's it. Game over. 41 is unachievable.

[To Achieve the Unachievable Dream... Thus Pied Piper Pitt got himself entangled in ANOTHER windmill.]

This was a noble effort on the part of our activists here, but I think it is time to turn out the lights and try to enjoy a well-earned rest this weekend.

[Yet, LESS than 24 hours ago it was Pied Piper Pitt who was the main filibuster cheerleader in DUmmieland with his post about John Kerry having your back.]

Either that, or keep writing, faxing and calling to register your disgust to the last moment.

[Beat your heads against the wall to the last moment.]

But it is what it is.

[Thus Pied Piper Pitt slinks away into the sunset with his tail between his legs...AGAIN. And now on to his not-so-loyal DUmmie acolytes.]

Then the Democratic Party is also DEAD

[RIP Rats!]

It's been good knowing ya, Will. Time for paths to diverge...

[Thus spaketh Walt Starr while casting Pitt into DUmmie Purgatory.]

This is your way of welching on our bet?!?
You owe me THIRTY F*CKING DAYS of "alcibiades_mystery made me his bitch" as a signature line, f*cker, and you ain't getting off that easy. Either you start running it now through the confirmation, or you are a f*cking bet-welcher of first magnitude, no f*cking lie.

[Hmmm... Perhaps I should moderate this dispute between DUmmie alcibiades_mystery and DUmmie Walt Starr. What was the nature of the bet? Details please so I can ascertain whether Walt Starr should be the personal bitch of alcibiades_mystery.]

That bet is not over yet. When it is, I'll keep my word. I'll come back and I'll change my signature line IF I LOSE!. Of course, it'll only show up in archives, but hell, I'll have met the conditions of the bet. And hell, I'll leave it in the sig line for good!

[The pool game is over when Fats says it's over... I came after him and I'm gonna get him. I'm going with him all the way.]

I have to stop thinking about this because it's too early to drink.

[Does Bukowski's serve breakfast beer?]

Walt, you can just go away with this gloom and doom talk!

[No, stick around Walt and be alcibiades_mystery's bitch.]

Don't worry, looks like next Monday at 4:30
I won't have any reason to be here any longer any way.

[Is that the time of your Heaven's Gate appointment, Walt?]

You have a way to overcome mathematics?
The bodies aren't there.

[If I were you, Pitt, I would cool it with the talk about bodies. Especially student bodies.]

They could change their minds though. I can't lose hope until it's over. I just can't. Perhaps Byrd would vote yes on Alito but no on cloture.

[More likely that the Mother Ship will land and swoop you away before that happens.]

and if I recall Will, were you quite ready to embrace the compromise that would avoid the nuclear option? That wasn't even a compromise, that was a caving in. In fact I am not even sure what the purpose of this thread is. Are you trying to demoralize people who want to fight and express their disent? Isn't that what has been done to us for the last six years?

[Thank you, Pitt, for your NUMEROUS but HILARIOUS demoralization threads.]

This isn't about that compromise. This is about a straight-up nose count. The noses aren't there. I am sorry if stating basic math is demoralizing. Pretend I didn't say it, and ride the crest of uptimism right up until the gavel falls, if such an action suits you. I can count.]

[Pitt can count. One accuser. Two accusers. Three accusers. Four...]

Call me hopelessly optimistic, or eternally hopeful, but I will hope.

[I BEEEEEEELLLEEEEEEVEEEE!!!]

I know you work really hard for truth, and I'll never question your integrity, but this was not constructive.

[Perhaps Pitt wasn't constructive but with his quick filibuster turnaround time, he was FUnnie!!!]

I've made more phone calls and typed more emails than I have in the last 12 years. I'd bet that goes for hundreds or thousand of fellow DUers. I don't believe Senator Kerry would ask that of us if he didn't have knowledge that he had the votes to at least sustain a filibuster, nuke option be damned.

[Actually, Kerry has no problem asking that of you as long as it doesn't interfere with his Swiss ski vacation.]

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

[No, Bluto. It wasn't.]

Akaka and Dorgan support cloture as well.
This was over before it started.

[Point. Set. GAME!]

Tell Howard Dean to Pack up the tent! I think Dean is great, but he has failed to organize this Party!

[YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!]

F*ck the Beltway Dems, f*ck the DLC, f*ck the DSCC and the DCCC. F*ck the "consultants". F*ck the whiners and chokers. Work with us and kick these mofos out the door.

damn right. we have to now to help kerry not face total humiliation and ridicule. we put him there. damn.......

[Especially the ridicule.]

i want..... the f*ckin repugs out. i want my life back. and for dems to continually take down the dems........ is f*ckin with my want. at least kerry has hillary and kennedy and a few more. that is good of them to stand with him. now lets watch the people on this board attack kerry some more. and the media.

[Yeah. Hillary has Kerry's back... (snort!)]

boy that was fast , less than a 24 hours buzz and it's over.

[That's pretty much the duration of a typical Pied Piper Pitt Scoop Cycle.]

The optimist in me says Kerry simply did the right thing, and earned the respect of the base by doing so. The cynic in me says he did this knowing it was doomed, but wanted to revive his standing with the base in hopes for an '08 run. Political theater and all.

Either way, Kerry comes out of this stronger.

[Kerry comes out STRONGER by cynically supporting the filibuster in plain sight just to boost his base for '08? And what have you been drinking lately at Bukowski's, Pitt?]

While I don't hold the same view that it's over yet, Will, even I am trying not to be cynical that Kerry is grandstanding.

[You're just on the verge of WINNING a Kewpie Doll!]

JK has nothing to lose politically--and maybe something to gain--by supporting filibuster. He plays to his base just like all the others do. He picked up a few points among people like us. People that didn't like him before still don't like him. People on the fence probably aren't paying attention. At best, a zero-sum game.

[And people that laughed at Kerry before STILL laugh at him.]

A filibuster was shooting the moon. We came damned close.

[I beg to differ, Pitt. A filibuster was more like shooting the foot.]

Well, it is certainly a good idea to face the reality of the situation. A little dose of "probably" to help stave off, or at least modify all the anguished drama, rending of robes, and hair-tearing that is bound to come with failure. The drama that sadistic trolls so love to observe here on DU.

["Hee! Hee!" chuckled the sadistic troll.]

Even IF this is over we need to continue to be annoying

[The ONE thing you are successful at.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-27-06 ("Source tells me Kerry is now openly in favor of a filibuster" ---Pitt)

EVERYTHING you need to know about John Kerry's LAUGHABLE "effort" to organize a filibuster attempt against the confirmation of Samuel Alito as Supreme Court justice can be summed up in the first paragraph of this New York Times ARTICLE:

WASHINGTON, Jan 26 — Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts could not attend the Senate debate on the Supreme Court nomination of Judge Samuel A. Alito Jr. on Thursday. He was in Davos, Switzerland, mingling with international business and political leaders at the World Economic Forum.

Yeah, this filibuster is so vitally important that Kerry won't even be leaving the Swiss ski slopes to organize it. John Kerry has your back...on the ski lift. Read Robert Caro's EXCELLENT book, Master of the Senate, to find out how a true pro, Lyndon B. Johnson, operated when he was Majority Leader of the Senate. Whether you might have agreed or disagreed with his politics, Johnson has been recognized as the greatest Senate leader in terms of actually getting things DONE. He NEVER tried any dopey last minute attempts to change a vote outcome. Johnson would work for weeks in ADVANCE up close with Senators. It is impossible to imagine Johnson phoning in his vote pleas to senators while vacationing on South Padre Island. Therefore, I would like to thank John Kerry for offering a bit of last minute comedic relief in the Samuel Alito confirmation. Meanwhile Pied Piper Pitt tried to convince the DUmmies yesterday that he had some sort of Kerry filibuster scoop as you can read in his THREAD titled, "Source tells me Kerry is now openly in favor of a filibuster." Unfortunately for Pitt, his "scoop" turned out to be NOTHING NEW as one could easily have read a few paragraphs down in the same Times article:

Mr. Kerry has been rallying his supporters against the nomination for weeks in mass e-mail messages and on his Web site. And when the Democratic caucus met Wednesday to discuss the nomination, he gave an impassioned plea that the party should try to stage a filibuster even if it failed, people present said, speaking only if granted anonymity because the meeting was private. Some senators at the meeting said an unsuccessful filibuster would leave the party weakened for future battles.

So let us now watch Pied Piper Pitt, along with his fellow DUmmies, bask in the glow of Pitt's STALE scoop about John Kerry organizing a filibuster from the Swiss ski slopes in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching Kerry's filibuster comedy act from atop a ski lift, is in the [brackets]:

Source tells me Kerry is now openly in favor of a filibuster

[John Kerry has your back...on the Swiss ski lift.]

The message:

["I DON'T FALL DOWN! THE SON OF A BITCH KNOCKED ME OVER!!!"]

"Kerry is now publicly in support of a filibuster and he is currently working with colleagues in the Senate to get the necessary support - 41 votes"

[Kerry's fellow senators will certainly be impressed with Kerry phoning in his filibuster support from Switzerland.]

Looking for added info to support this.

[Try reading the newspapers or the Web, Pitt. They already reported that Kerry tried to organize a filibuster attempt on Wednesday, a full day before your stale "scoop."]

Boy, If He Can Pull This Off, I'd Give Him Another Look

[See that bright little dot skiing way down that Swiss mountain? Go ahead and give him another look.]

I talked to his office about 30 minutes ago about the same thing. Their advice: call senators around the country and ask them to join in!

[Yeah, you go ahead and do the dirty work while Kerry enjoys his Swiss ski vacation.]

O.K., How Long Do We Have To Call??

[Waste your time until Monday when your futile attempt is shot down.]

It's all about getting the 40 other senators. There is no filibuster to be had without that magic number.

[Kerry is phoning in his magic from Switzerland.]

It's not the days of "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" anymore

[Boris Karloff could play the starring role in "Mr. Kerry Goes to Switzerland."]

Go Kerry! and Good Luck to him. . .thanks for update, WilliamPitt

[Thanks for your STALE "scoop," William Pitt the Plunger.]

Kerry sounded pissed off yesterday, and not just in a righteous "Alito is bad for the country" sort of way, either - he sounded pissed at something that had happened. My guess is that there is a faction in the Dem caucus who actively do not want a filibuster and are throwing every monkey wrench they can in the way of Kerry and others who do want a filibuster.

[But not quite pissed off enough to break away from the Swiss ski slopes.]

He did look incredibly pissed off when he spoke yesterday, so I'm not surprised.

[I'm not surprised either. Kerry was pissed off that the filibuster thing was taking valuable quality time away from his Swiss ski vacation.]

Kerry already said he was in favor of a filibuster last weekend. But no one else was saying anything with the new 'F' word in it.

[Oh, Kerry said it LAST weekend? So much for Pied Piper Pitt's STALE "scoop."]

This was reported here a few days ago I believe. Someone posted they called Kerry's office and the staffer told the caller what Kerry was up to. I'm glad to hear he's still working on this and I hope and pray he's successful. I've signed every petition I could, Emailed etc.

[Another not-so-subtle derision of Pied Piper Pitt's STALE "scoop."]

noone has VOTED yet ... we need the names of the lilly-livered ones from the dem side who won't support a filibuster and plague them with calls ... does ANYBODY have any intelligence on that info??? yo, Pitt, how about using your source to get us a scoop NOW!!!!!

[Pied Piper Pitt will get you the scoop on that as soon as the filibuster vote is over.]

Yay, Kerry's waking up! Two years late, but OK!

[Kerry is waking up with a WONDERFUL view of a Swiss mountainside.]

Sorry but flame all you want, this is typical Kerry... Knowing that the filibuster is dead, it's now safe for him to come out and say he's for it.

[And this DUmmie WINS a Swiss Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

Democratic Senator Johnson from SD voting yes, won't support filibuster.

[And you're surprised? How? I do know that Pied Piper Pitt in another DUmmie thread actually proposed that just because a senator promised to vote FOR Alito didn't necessarily mean that he would also oppose a filibuster. The political wisdom of Pitt; on display in the Comedy Museum.]

If he can't get 41 votes ... Can he insist on READING my name into the Congressional Record?

[That sounds like a Pied Piper Pitt Wet Dream.]

I called Pryor and Lincoln. I got a busy signal once with Lincoln.

[And you're still on hold with Pryor.]

I just hung up from talking with a staffer who said the same thing, that Kerry is publicly supporting a filibuster and is now working with other senators to get the necessary votes.

[How? By talking to those senators on a phone line from his Swiss ski lift?]

Is this like sources say Kerry lawyers are going to challenge Ohio 2004? We've been down this road before

[Or, more accurately, we've been down this slippery ski slope before.]

Maybe Kerry should be Majority Leader?

[Um...first the Democrats need a Senate MAJORITY for that to happen. If it did, Kerry could phone in his leadership agenda from Switzerland.]

I hope your source is right, Mr. Pitt.

[We already know his source was LATE.]

Godamm it-he's just working on it now? Always a day late and a dollar short. Kerry is unable to lead. He's unable to get people to follow him.



[Another Swiss Kewpie Doll is IN THE MAIL!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-26-06 ("I am very, very disappointed...")

The impending Alito nomination has driven the DUmmies into a greater crazed frenzy than that of Rambo Cat above. It is starting to dawn on them that the filibuster, if ever tried, will FAIL. Despite the too little, too late support of such a filibuster by Jean Kerry from the ski slopes of Switzerland, the votes for filibuster are just NOT there. Plus we now have word that Sheets Byrd SUPPORTS the nomination of Alito. Game over for the DUmmies thus their INTENSE anger as you can see in this THREAD titled, with SUPREME understatement, "I am very, very disappointed..." So let us now join Rambo Cat and plunge the depths of DUmmie Despair in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, reminding everyone that Jean Kerry never EVER falls down on the ski slopes, is in the [brackets]:

I am very, very disappointed...

[I am very, very HAAAAAAPPPIIEEEEEE!!!!! YIPPPPIIIIEEEEE!!!]

In the way the Democrats handled this Alito nomination. They have known for several weeks that the vote was coming up to either approve or to filibuster his nomination. There was absolutely no reason to get to this point and not know where your own members stood on their vote. Yes, they were on Christmas and New Year's vacation, but that is no reason not to have contact with all the members.

[But...but don't you feel HAPPY with the utterly MEANINGLESS support for a filibuster by John Kerry from the Swiss ski slopes?]

They should never have raised any expectations of a filibuster unless they knew there was a credible vote count that would permit such a maneuver. To get up to the last minute before the vote and then realize we don't have the votes is a failure of leadership, in my opinion. They would have been better off to simply say from the beginning that it appears Mr. Alito will be voted thru on a slim vote. I am very disappointed in the way this process was handled.

[Actually I ENJOY watching DUmmie expectation levels raised only to be DASHED at the last minute.]

disappointed????
my but that is mild language. They are traitorous bastards for not standing up for the Democrats and this country against the creeping fascism that is bushco**. They are worthless.

I agree with you completely..
I've been calling, writing, and donating.. I've literally put my ass on the line.. Why aren't they? I can't keep fighting for people that won't fight for me..

[John Kerry has your back...from the Swiss ski slopes.]

..There are a couple that are fighting, but that's it..
A couple isn't enough...

[John K and Mama T have your back.]

Your ass is on the line???
Seriously? So your job is on the line is what your saying? Or are you just saying you've donated some time and money? I wouldn't describe that as your ass on the line...a little heavy on the drama, brother.

[John Kerry's frozen ass is on the ski jump line.]

I donated all of my time, money and energy to the kerry campaign and the democratic party in 2004. I did all of that while suffering excruciating pain from a herniated disc. I literally suffered physically for our cause. I also joined several peace groups including the Quaker's Friends committee. Shortly after that I had a big old dark SUV parked on my street for a week. I thought I was paranoid at the time now I know better. And I suffered and gave my time for f*cking what exactly? For the democrats to F O L D at the most crucial moment in our nations history???

[John Kerry is just $10 away from a successful filibuster.]

If we acted more like we were insane, they'd give a shit, but we are Rational, so they don't give a shit.

[Actually the first part of your sentence is the ONLY correct part.]

I'll remember this sell out, in fact I am sure we'll be reminded of it every time the SCOTUS shoves another abominable ruling up our collective rear ends. Believe me, Walt, you have no corner on the outrage market.

If the left now decided to stay home in droves and allowed teh Republicans to utterly defeat the Democrats, or better yet, showed up in droves but cast no vote whatsoever for either a Democrat or a Republican, we'd have their attention.

[Just Do It!]

We have 44 Democrats and 1 Independent that vote with us sometimes. When we reach a certain number of Democrats that say they will vote to close debate, there is no filibuster. The filibuster is over. If you don't get 41 votes, the filibuster is over. I guess we can hold out hope to get some help from a few Republicans?? I'm not holding my breath. Maybe they will twist a couple of arms and get them to change their vote. We shall see. I am the realist. Let's see where Byrd goes??

[Your post was made at 2:39 PM EST today so I guess you hadn't gotten the news yet that Sheets Byrd is going to vote FOR Alito.]

I have been depressed and in tears a good part of the time for the last two weeks. This is the most important vote in my (considerable) lifetime, and I am terrified of the consequences.

[The consequence is detention centers for all DUmmies at all Walmart construction sites.]

Exactly why our leadership should have had the votes in line... to filibuster this choice. But, we are now down to the last minute and they are behind closed doors trying to reason with a few Democrats. I am more than disappointed.

[John Kerry will be very disappointed to leave the Swiss ski slopes to support a meaningless filibuster attempt.]

Perhaps if this fails we need a new Senate Minority leader. Perhaps someone like Barbara Boxer!

[That's just the ticket...to flush the Democrats down the toilet.]

We're talking now about senators being on record of what THEY THEMSELVES wanted to do, not hiding behind a wimp group of senators that are trying to say "you don't have any other choice" to us!

Pure and simple, the DLC is responsible for the split in the Dems that has destroyed any hope it had of being an opposition party. And that is what the mission of the DLC is. They DON'T WANT a viable opposition party to the Republicans who are the party that is implementing their corporate masters' will! The DLC is there to keep the Dems in check and keep them from fighting the corporate juggernaut! That's why NOW is the time to stop the DLC! Once we can clean house of them, then we can in a more unified fashion fight against the GOP!

[What? No credit given to Karl Rove for splitting up the Dems? You ingrate!]

I swear, sometimes I wish I was a member of the brain dead
morons who can't name a justice on the court. Maybe I'll start watching sitcoms and soap operas instead of CSpan.

[Your wish is granted, my brain dead little DUmmie.]

THE QUESTION STILL REMAINS...WHAT DID THE DEMOCRATS GET OUT OF THE GANG OF 14 DEAL??? NOTHING!!!!!!!! THE REPUKES GOT THEIR RW WACKO NUT JOB JUDGES CONFIRMED AND WE GOT NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate this f*cking party. IF THIS ISN'T AN "EXTRAORDINARY CIRCUMSTANCE" WHAT THE HELL IS???? I knew this would happen. I KNEW they would still get their fucking SCOTUS judges confirmed. I KNEW IT. As usual, we Progressives have been told to F*CK OFF by the Dem party.

Oh here I go-yes the gang of fourteen agreement
I will never forget Will Pitt claiming "we saved Roe. V. Wade" with this. NO! I knew it was a bad idea. Wrong wrong wrong. You don't compromise, back down and give up to bullies and thugs. IT never works. And what would have impressed us loyal Dems and some undecided or apathetic voters-is that if they went nuclear and destroyed the fillibuster option-we could have protrayed that as un-American and all the rest. We could have been outraged and demanding and never let them forget it. Instead we are cowards are reap the rewards. The only answer is obvioulsy a civil war in the Dem party. This shit is over. They don't represent me

[Uh-oh. DUmmie discontent with the infallible Pied Piper Pitt.]

It's getting down to the nitty-gritty...
Specter wants to have a vote. But, Democrats say they have more speakers. Seems the Dems are killing time to see what they can get together. But, it appears the inevitable is about to happen, imo... Unless something very dramatic happens?

[Like Mama T's Boy Toy leaving the Swiss ski slopes?]

Some brave people have pointed out the possibility of a filibuster is still there. So long as have a shot, we have to keep the pressure on. It's war.

DUmmie FUnnies 01-26-06 ("Expose the 'Alito 8' Democratic Senators Who Are Blocking a Filibuster")

The coming ApocAlito is hitting my DUmmie Ants HARD. They are scurrying about the circular mill with ever more furious and DESPERATE speed. Some of them are talking about leaving the country. Others about leaving the Democrats. Pied Piper Pitt wants the Democrats to stand up and WALK OUT of the President's State of the Union Address. And more are now talking about taking out retribution against the Democrats for not filibustering (despite cheerleading support for this antic by the NY Times) the Alito nomination as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Expose the 'Alito 8' Democratic Senators Who Are Blocking a Filibuster." Yes, it will definitely be FUn to visit DUmmieland AFTER the Alito nomination to watch the incredible level of DUmmie Angst and recrimination. I am sooooo looking forward to DUFUing the depressed DUmmies on that occasion (soon). In the meantime, let us now enjoy the DUmmie angst over the ApocAlito in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching the circular mill DUmmie Ants go around and around and around, is in the [brackets]:

Expose the "Alito 8" Democratic Senators Who Are Blocking a Filibuster

[Hunt 'em down and run 'em out of office! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!]

The most likely suspects are the 7 Democrats in the Gang of 14.

Joseph I. Lieberman, Connecticut
Robert C. Byrd, West Virginia
E. Benjamin Nelson, Nebraska
Mary Landrieu, Louisiana
Daniel Inouye, Hawaii
Mark Pryor, Arkansas
Ken Salazar, Colorado

[Let the investigations and recriminations begin! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!]

Ben Nelson has already said he will vote for Alito. Screw him, but we don't need his vote as long as we get nearly all of the rest.

[GET the rest of them! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!]

And call the five Democratic Senators who want you to support them for President in 2008. If they want to prove their leadership, they need to lead the filibuster. It only takes 1 Senator to start the filibuster. Call them with a simple message: SUPPORT A FILIBUSTER OR FORGET ABOUT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.

Evan Bayh
Joe Biden
Hillary Clinton
Russ Feingold
John Kerry

[That threat won't work since Hillary already has the '08 nomination in the bag...no matter what.]

Naw. It's the Elito 44. How will we know the '8' if the rest don't act?

[Toss the "Elito" 44 out of office. YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!]

We have Jeffords - I think he will support a filibuster

[CALLING JUMPIN' JIM! CALLING JUMPIN' JIM! Has anybody seen him in his office in the Senate bathroom?]

I just got off the phone with Reid's office - NO plan for a filibuster that she knows of. I asked the question two different ways - same response

[And both ways started off and ended with a curse.]

Maybe a good way to flush out the traitors
is to tell your Senator you won't support him or her if there isn't a filibuster. That may provoke listing the traitors.

[List the traitors and then SHAVE THEIR HEADS!!! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!]

You're right about accountability... I just don't know if that is the answer, right now. Any other time, maybe. But the Republican party of today is just plain dangerous. These people are not Republicans. They are not Conservatives. They are the American Nazi Party, and honestly, they scare me. I understand what you are saying, and to a large extent I agree with you, it's just that these Republicans need to be stopped. They really scare me, not the "turrists", them and their Dear Leader

[And we may have a WINNER here for the most WACKJOB DUmmie post of this thread. YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!]

Sad day. Makes me wish I hadn't of had children.

[Is retroactive abortion possible?]

If there is not a filibuster, it is 100% Harry Reid's fault.
Pat Leahy said on Ed Schultz that the decision to filibuster lies with Reid. If one doesn't happen, you know who to blame - along with the spoiler senators who would not support one. But Reid should take the lion's share of the guilt - what the f*ck use is a "party leader" who can't lead his party?

[That Leaky Leahy stab in the back sounds like HE will be running for Minority Leader as soon as Reid splits.]

I sure as shit ain't going to spend my time arguing with the DLC, "it's not that bad" "next election we can win" people on DU. You are deluded. I don't know what I'm gonna do-but this shit is a joke. And anybody that excuses and abets these people is shooting themselves. Politics is a f*cking joke. Maybe I'll look at another country-would would you suggest? There is no oppostion party in this country. Not a "party." Not a group. Not with leaders. This vote for Alito-I'm the most pro-abortion person around-don't even need to be mealy mouthed about. BUT Roe v. Wade is nothing compared to the president having ABSOLUTE POWER. Unitary executive. "Signing statements" A King. The congress has no power now. It's getting worse every day. He's already broken law and broken his oath of office and nothing is about it. And now these so called "democrats" are letting him appoint someone to the supreme court for life without fighting with everything they've got-that will give him absolute power in court cases-our only last line of defense against tryanny-and I'm supposed to say it's going to be okay? You must be insane. Because to think you are winning anything again with the Supreme court stacked you are seriously deluded. Game over.

[Game over. Give up NOW! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!]

We are talking about a fascist dictatorship in the making
and Alito would be an important part of that. Let's keep calling the Senators.

[And beating our collective DUmmie heads against the wall. YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-25-06 (Hardball said it...Rove pushing Hillary in '08...")

Hello to DUmmie FUnnies reader, CRAIG CRAWFORD. I know this Congressional Quarterly reporter (and bigtime Liberal apologist) is a reader of the DUmmie FUnnies because he read about the Rovian 2008 Game Plan that we have often discussed here. Now he is reciting what we already knew as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Hardball said it...Rove pushing Hillary in '08..." Yes, now even the DUmmies are getting a clue about the fate that Karl Rove has in store for them. They can plug Dennis Kucinich, Wesley Clark, Barbara Boxer, or Russ Feingold to their hearts' content but there is NO STOPPING the inevitable: Hillary WILL be their 2008 nominee. Crybaby all you want DUmmies but there is no way you can fight the Perfect Rovian Storm. ALL is going according to plan. As usual the DUmmie rantings, under the delusion that they actually have some sort of choice in picking their nominee, are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching the DUmmies being crushed under the Rove/Hillary machine, is in the [brackets]:

Hardball said it...Rove pushing Hillary in '08...

[Actually the DUmmie FUnnies said it FIRST. Craig Crawford is merely repeating what he read here.]

FINALLY I heard it said on mainstream media tonight....at the end of Hardball tonight Craig Crawford put forth the idea that the Republicans would love for Hillary to be the candidate because they know they could beat her....THEY are pushing her, not the Democrats. So can we finally hear the end of Hillary in 2008! Can we not let the Republicans choose our candidate this time around???

[Tough luck, DUmmies. Hillary WILL be your 2008 nominee. And there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. The most FUn about the 2008 election won't be the final result which is a foregone conclusion. The TRUE entertainment will be to watch the ants in DUmmieland having a collective mental meltdown when they realize that Karl Rove has chosen their nominee.]

The thugs pushed for Kennedy in 72
I tried and tested strategy.

[McGovern sufficed back then as a SURE loser.]

When did GOP ever choose our nominee? They failed when they tried in 2004.

[We came close in 2004 with Dean but then Hillary stopped Dean with the release of the letter he wrote to her hubby when president supporting the use of unilateral action in Bosnia. That was the moment Dean's campaign went south...thanx to Hillary.]

Did GOP want to run against Dean????

[BINGO!!!]

While you are at it, ask why they crucified Dean with that mic trick. Why did they only play the audio from his directional mic on that scream? A mic who's sole purpose is to focus in on the speaker's voice only. The type of mic that someone like Matt Roker would use outdoors on the Today Show so that you can hear above all the screaming fans. Why did they never show the real footage where the crowd is screaming so loud that you can't even hear Dean? BushCo put a media hit out on Dean and the lap dogs were all to willing to comply by playing that one audio track over and over again until the "mainstream" was anti-Dean because he was "crazy."

[YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!]

They were also terrified of General Wes Clark...
And were happy as hell that not running in Iowa wound up backfiring on him...

[You mean the same Clinton tool, Wes Clark, who spilled the beans about Kerry's girlfriend?]

Hillary has power and appeal that they must find threatening, so I'm sure they'll trivialize and mock her the same way they did Dean.

[Actually the Rovian Game Plan is to build her up...until the moment of her nomination.]

But I think Gore running would be their worst nightmare.

[Gore is actually the ONLY Democrat who could beat Hillary for the nomination but Karl knows that Gore won't run because he is like a spoiled brat. Yeah, Gore would dearly love to become President but only as long as he doesn't have to go through the arduous campaigning routine again. Gore much prefers to be coronated as President than actually WORK for it in a campaign.]

Gore would be their worst nightmare. And that is why they are pushing the Hillary things so hard.

[Not to worry. See above. Although Gore could easily defeat Hillary in the Democrat primaries, he is much too lazy to even try campaigning again. ALL is going according to plan.]

Hillary should run on Universal Heathcare.

[Yeah, that idea sure worked beautifully for her in 93/94. The end result has been a Republican Congress AND Senate (with a brief Jumpin' Jim respite) that has endured until this day.]

No one unites Republicans more than HILLARY .... Glad it's finally getting out there that it's the media pushing her!

[With Karl Rove holding the puppet strings.]

I prefer to work for my candidate of choice - Al Gore.

[Too bad Al Gore is too lazy to work on his own campaign.]

Gore is my choice as well !

[I'm going to enjoy watching your tears of frustration when Hillary is nominated.]

If we all just vote for who we think is the best candidate, ignoring what the opposition may or may not want, the winner will be the best candidate.

[The winner WILL be Hillary. And there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to change the INEVITABLE.]

..a lot of us really are SICK and TIRED of the media saying that Hillary is "untouchable, a shoe-in, the Democratic favorite.. yada, yada, yada..."

[You need to sit back and relax because there is NOTHING you can do to stop Hillary (and Rove).]

Forget what the republican party is trying to make us do.

[That's right. Just forget that Karl Rove is arranging for the nomination of Hillary.]

I agree with you.. we are pretty much asleep at the wheel...

[And this DUmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

I've been saying this for months...The media has been the ONLY ones pushing Hillary. MSNBC was pushing her the night we voted for Kerry. Why do so many dems believe the media and then, say they're full of shit? We have to STOP getting our knowledge from the TV. If we don't qut acting like sheep we never will win.

[Baah! Baah!]

Personally, I think it's going to be Gore. Go Al!!!
Hillary is the smoke screen.

[Unfortunately for your theory, Al is just too damn LAZY to actually campaign. He will only accept a coronation as President if it doesn't involve actual WORK.]

I think Rove would LOVE it.. The Freepnoids would LOVE it.. and anyone with a Republican bone in their body would LOVE it..

[Of course we would LOVE it since a Hillary nomination means the Democrats LOSING in a landslide. We won't even have to preprogram up our Diebold machine software to achieve that result.]

It would be wonderful to sideline Rove,
doing time in the Big House.

[I regret to inform you that the Grinch has already stolen Fitzmas.]

I was really struck by this episode of hardball..
That Tweety truly thinks that this is all just some game. Ned Flanders, I mean Ed Rogers states plainly that the republicans are using thought control to win. (bumper sticker vs. essay) And Chris Matthews thinks that's just great.

[Beware the Rovian Mind Meld!]

So, as she ain't running, just drop the subject

[That's right. You just go right on BEEEEELEEEEEVING that Hillary isn't running for president. And which fairy tale would you like me to read you at bedtime?]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-24-06 ("Revenge When We Take Back Power")

I fell asleep early this evening and around the same time I dozed off, this DUmmie THREAD titled "Revenge When We Take Back Power" appeared. Well, I sure woke up fast when I spotted that thread and everybody else better WAKE UP as well. As Rush Limbaugh has said, when liberals are out of power they are FUnnie but when they are in power, they are DANGEROUS as you can see from their fantasies of REVENGE on this thread. Fortunately, Karl Rove has arranged for the nomination of Hillary Clinton in 2008 to prevent the return of the Democrats to power but we must remain ever vigilant to the DUmmie intentions. As usual the fantasies of the DUmmie Chekha are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who hopes that others wake up to the DUmmie revenge fantasies, is in the [brackets]:

Revenge When We Take Back Power.

[Roving DUmmie Chekha bands will travel throughout country and take REVENGE on the EVIL Republicans for being conservative.

Yes. I want it. Use every tool the RW has exploited under the power of Shrub and turn it against them. Ten fold. Where to start?

[The DUmmie Chekhists, IF they ever return to power, would indict all the top Republicans and send them to the Hague as War Criminals. In DUmmieland this is considered a REASONABLE proposition.]

Now, they're building detention centers for us! It's time to treat this as a war, as Rove does. That's why the Reichwing wins every single battle, and mocks us.

[You are especially mocked, as now, in the DUmmie FUnnies. And WHERE are these detention centers being built? You probably think the new Walmart or shopping mall being built is REALLY a detention center.]

IMO, Truth & Reconciliation Hearings might be best. People would have more of an inclination to cooperate and spill their guts that way.

[How generous of you. You won't send us to the Hague as War Criminals but ONLY if we confess to some sort of crimes against the DUmmies.]

Rescind all tax cuts to the wealthy, retroactively! Slam Big Corporations with a bill for the taxes they SHOULD HAVE BEEN PAYING all along, retroactively! Companies who have outsourced American jobs will not be allowed to sell their products in the United States! Corporations who have cut wages of their workers while awarding themselves huge bonuses will RETURN every penny, to be distributed among the workforce - retroactively!

GOD, THIS IS FUN!!!!!

[A DUmmie having his version of "FUn" in the Alternate Reality.]

I don't think that would work since ex post facto laws are
unconstitutional. But I guess this is just fantasy.

[As is the REST of this dopey thread.]

Revenge, AND plug up all the holes in the system that enable neofascism.

[A promotion for you in the Chekhist Commissariat.]

I WANT REVENGE for what they've put our country through. I want justice and restitution, call it what you will.

[How about if we call it "reparations" so you can sit in front of your keyboard for another 10 years without working.]

I was thinking we'd just shave all their heads. It worked for the French after WWII.

[And who took a slice out of your brain while shaving your head?]

I was just thinking that. Imagine seeing Anne Coulter with a shaved head and swaztika painted on her forehead.

[Seek clinical help. NOW!]

Justice Must Be Done. What they have done to this country is unforgiveable. Once in power, we will need to use every tool possible to expose the crimes that have been committed against this country. There MUST be accountability.

[There is already accountability for your crazed rantings by publicizing them right here in the DUmmie FUnnies, Drool Mouth.]

There are too many Republicans who, under the auspices of their beloved leader, have DAMAGED my country -- yes, MY country, not THEIRS. The past five years have not been 'politics as usual', with one side snapping at the other. You don't let TRAITORS walk away at the end of their tenure, with a wave of the hand and a, "Let's let bygones be bygones." As someone posted above, setting JUSTICE back on track is not REVENGE -- it will just SEEM LIKE IT to the deserving people who will get their just desserts ...

[It looks like your dirty T-shirt is soaking up your rabid foam.]

I doubt that power can be taken back in our lifetimes.
Why should they give it up? They hold the cards. After Alito is installed they will hold ALL the cards. We won't get back to even, let alone control. Quit being silly, our democracy has been lost.

[Give up, NOW!]

I want CORRECTIVE tax rates on the wealthy! Bring back the top marginal rates before JFK lowered them in the 60's!

[Shhhh! Democrats, especially Ted Kennedy, HATE being reminded that it was JFK who lowered tax rates.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-24-06 ("Why not stage a series of national strikes?")

When I saw the title of this DUmmie THREAD, "Why not stage a series of national strikes?" my reaction was "Ho-hum. Been there, done that." Lately there have been NUMEROUS calls for MASS ACTION in DUmmieland against the EVIL Bush Regime that go exactly NOWHERE. Pied Piper Pitt's Bukowksi's beverage inspired shtick over the weekend about the Democrats staging a WALKOUT at the State of the Union Address has already faded into obscurity with FEW DUmmies even commenting on that thread any more. Ditto for the April 23 Movement about hitting America in the WALLET by withdrawing money from the Piggy Banks or selling off penny stocks on that day. Barely are these MASS ACTION threads up and running than they fade away due to lack of enthusiasm. However, one FRINGE BENEFIT of these MASS ACTION threads is that they provide enormous entertainment for DUmmie FUnnies fans. Plus, much as the DUmmies would like to forget such dopey proposals, we are sure to rub salt into their humiliation and remind them of the proposed MASS ACTIONS on the days they are due to occur. So, stand by, DUmmies. On January 31 we will be sure to remind you about Pitt's Proposal to WALK OUT of the SOTU and on April 23 we will be monitoring the actions of the Stock Market to see the big effect the DUmmies have on the economy on yet another Not One Damn Dime Day. So let us enjoy the spectacle of the DUmmies calling for yet more MASS ACTION in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, figuring this thread will die about 10 minutes after the DUFU edition about it comes out, is in the [brackets]:

Why not stage a series of national strikes?

[Why not bang our heads against the walls in unison?]

I think we need a series of national strikes or massive boycotts that should be put at the front of any of our protests. It completely unnerves the party in power to be jumped by their money source, hammering them to give the people what they want so they can get back to taking our money. We actually have more control in that than we realize.

[YAWN! Don't you even read your own DUmmie threads? This boycott of the "money source" was already proposed last Saturday and is set for April 23. Oh, and the April 23 Movement has ALREADY been forgotten. DUAC! DUAC!]

If we can't organize something like this then we really have no hope of actually getting their attention. I march and I march. My wife marches. My children march. We faithfully engage in small protests. We lend ourselves to the large ones. But, I think they lack the punch in the gut of the Establishment that we need to get their attention. There are other ways to protest which involve sacrificing ourselves to the consequences of whatever law we may choose to disregard, but that lets them peel us off one at a time. We need a massive insurrection. A series of announced national strikes would seem to be the best way to get the ruling party's attention.

[How about a massive national hunger strike? Don't worry about going hungry. As the DUmmies themselves have already proposed in Pitt's WALKOUT Thread, you only have to wear a Blue ribbon to SYMBOLIZE your solidarity with the Hunger Strike. Meanwhile you can pigout to your heart's content at your local buffet restaurant...as long as you wear that Hunger Strike Blue Ribbon.]

We need a worldwide boycott of corrupt offices and individuals who threaten to dominate us for greed and power. We need to sacrifice and sustain the boycott until we regain control over our own destinies, free from the corruption and destruction of the new militarization. We should turn our backs on those institutions that disregard our intentions, cut off their access to our contributions and bleed them dry.

[Join the April 23rd Generally Economic General Strike!]

IF a series of national strikes were possible, I wonder what the reaction of the government would be? I imagine they'd get ugly, or uglier. I can't imagine them sitting still. Ringleaders to Gitmo and all that . . . On the other hand, there might not be enough of a following to make a difference. I'd like to think there would be. Initially, at least, we'd be insulated from overt retaliation by the novelty of it all. It would wear thin on industry pretty quickly.

[It sounds like your proposal for a MASSIVE National Strike is having trouble even making it past your fourth paragraph of your thread.]

There's such a diversity of industry in the country, not centralized like many of the other countries who exercise national strikes. It might be easy to pick off followers at the edges. Small business would suffer first and most from a strike. But that's also the only arena we have a chance at having the moneychangers take us seriously. One day at a time. No gas. No phone calls. No grocery store. One day at a time until we are recognized.

[Not ONE DAMN DIME!!! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.]

strikes or massive boycotts of what?

[7-11 beef and bean burritos. And from there we move on to boycotting corn chips!]

we could target industries or just stage a general strike
general is better, I think, hurtful like I say from the bottom up, but the effect may have a shock effect on our skiddish representatives and senators. Everything important, gas, communications, computers, are tied to major sources. It would take some thought for certain, and sacrifice.

[Hey, boycotting corn chips for a day would be a HUGE sacrifice!]

The tricky part is getting everybody to agree to do it - and by everybody, i mean enough people to make it matter.

[Look for volunteers from the quickly forgotten April 23rd Movement.]

Who's going to organize it?

[The Tooth Fairy is available once he leaves the British Big Brother House.]

I think the boycotts are the more effective technique. As to who should be at the forefront of organizing, I think there should be a coalition with the emphasis on organizations that have an internet community already in place, such as DU, moveon, etc. What to boycott--oil, oil, oil. That is the most obvious thing. Products that are bankrolling conservative think tanks. There are tons of them.

[Uh-Oh! My DUmmie Ants have begun running around in their endless circle...again.]

You make it sound as if such a thing were a few phone calls and fliers away.

[Hey, calling for a MASSIVE national strike is a piece of cake. It only requires a couple of clicks on the mouse to make such a proposal in DUmmieland.]

If we are at the point where our leaders will only respond to their money sources, what other recourse with any reasonable chance of success is available to us? There has to be a point where we take our own destiny in hand. It's our government. Why do these folks in other countries, with arguably more to lose than most Americans from such an action, continue to challenge their system in this way. It's will. I wonder when we will decide we've had enough of slavery to the military industry and stand up for our priorities like the free people we imagine ourselves to be. I think the notion of a national strike is a strategy yet to come as our political, economic, and social destinies slip from our leader's money clutching hands.

[Enjoying that warm glow from the computer screen deep down in that dark basement?]

It's sort of like hunger strikes. They once made news and could even be effective but not anymore.

[Why not? Are you short on Blue Ribbons?]

you know everything needs some brainstorming with a low chance of success, high risk, but worth trying perhaps. I don't think we would really expect to unseat the money structure, or even tickle it. What we might accomplish is a ripple. A ripple could be all we need to get the attention of these spooky legislators. That's where you want to effect change I take it? One tug on their purse strings is all it usually takes our leaders to drag themselves out of bed to put in the midnight money vote.

[Answer the knock on your basement door. Mommy has a nice big glass of hot cocoa for you.]

Nobody is going to do anything.

[And this DUmmies WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

I'm mezmerized by hope. I don't have to settle in and accept that my government that I sponsor and tolerate is determined to be an obstacle and a danger. It may yet come to past that Americans will cast aside our hope that our representatives and leaders will realize our dreams for our lives and society and take our country back with our own hands. We are the fuel that enables these pretenders to continue in power. We have the ability to stop enabling their false reign, their manufactured military mandate. That may come to be the only comfort left us.

[I'm mesmerized by your stupidity but, hey, thanx for providing some great DUFU material.]

I'm on strike right now and we can't even get the TEAMSTERS to respect our picket line! We have a letter of support from the head of the teamsters, and individual teamsters are still crossing our picket line. How on earth are we going to get from there to wildcat strike?

[That's because the Teamsters don't have proper respect for the International Brotherhood of Keyboard Tappers union.]

I guess the lesson is this: People don't do desperate things unless forced to live in desperate conditions. It seems crushing poverty makes a population "lean and fit." It burns away the laziness and the fat, and it forces an individual to fight for survival. Comfortable people don't do things beyond their comfort zone, but an uncomfortable populace suffering excruciating pain will take to the streets. They would do anything to try to escape the pain. I hate to say it, but crushing poverty, at least in my mind, is the true motivator for change whether it be poverty as a result of discrimination or as a result of lack of investment in the people.

[Thanx for that admission that America is too well off to hold a general strike. And if America is so well off, WHAT are you so mad about?]

Nationwide strike brings Bangladesh to a halt

[Great! Let's move to Bangladesh!]

If enough people threw themselves into the gears and cogs of the machine, then the machine will grind to a stop, and if the machine cannot be turned to a good cause, for the better of all, then it is a principle obligation to see that the machine is ultimately destroyed. Of course, people have to collectively choose to do such a desperate thing.

[Translation: "YOU first in that throwing yourself into the gears and cogs of machines routine.

getting out of the system would help. And by that I mean withdrawing from the banking system, buying locally or bartering when possible, cutting way back on purchases, etc. It is perfectly possible to live without giving much business to corporations. I've been out of the banking system for ten years now.

[So how's life underneath the bridge?]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-23-06 ("What the hell is Galloway thinking? Slipped LSD by neocons? WTF?")

I gave Li'l Beaver the evening off so you can get a good look at how LOW the Leftwing has sunk. In this case it is FAR LEFT British MP (and Saddam Bribee) George Galloway who is dancing on the British Big Brother show in a leotard with a transvestite. This photo says it ALL about how NUttie the Left has become. The next thing you know we will have a leftwing Presidential candidate dressing up like an Blue Energizer BUnnie Sperm Cell. Oops! That already happened. Okay, the next thing you know is that Ted Kennedy will write a children's book from the point of view of his pet dog named "Splash!" Oops! That already happened. The next thing you know a self-inflated Leftwing activist will show up in the hot Texas sun wearing a black Midnight Cowboy Outfit while getting eaten alive by Fire Ants. Oops! That already happened. Yes, the Left has gone off the deep end so why are the DUmmies so surprised about this Galloway photo in this THREAD titled, "What the hell is Galloway thinking? Slipped LSD by neocons? WTF?" Perhaps this DUmmie should ask what ALL the Left is thinking. Anyway, the DUmmie excuses over being embarrassed by the antics of one of their own is in Leotard Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering who will be the first Leftwing U.S. Congressman to wear a red tutu on the Today Show, is in the [brackets]:

What the hell is Galloway thinking? Slipped LSD by neocons? WTF?

[Don't blame the neocons for this. The Left everywhere have slipped off the edge of sanity. Tomorrow I expect Canadian socialists to be prancing across the Alberta prairie in red tutus after the election results come in.]

I loved Galloway's courage in sticking it to Norm Coleman and standing up against the neocon/neofascists, but he's seriously undercutting his positions by appearing on that British version of Big Brother. Has he been slipped a psychotic drug or something? Whatever it is...he's now (apparently) under the impression that it would be a good thing to appear in a red leotard with the transvestite singer of Dead Alive doing some weird robotic dance skit. And, what does it say about his judgment to be televised lapping up milk like a cat on national TV.

[Just accept the fact that Galloway, like the DUmmies and a HUGE chunk of the Left everywhere, is JUST PLAIN NUTS!!!]

I understand that some justification could be that he's "selling his soul" and being degraded publicly to get his message out against the war, but who's going to take that message seriously now? It would be like Doug Henning in a rainbow leotard talking about geopolitics...

[Or like Pied Piper Pitt in a Midnight Cowboy outfit lecturing us about how the Third American Empire was born after the 1980 Olympic Hockey victory when the excited "nationalistic" fans yelled 'USA! USA! USA!"

I like the guy...I'm just concerned. Lord knows what kind of mind-numbing bullshit M15 may be slipping him.

[Actually, M15 is doing the worst thing possible to Galloway---allowing him to just be himself.]

I'm seriously concerned. This recent crazy TV stuff just seems so out of character.

[Actually it is strictly IN character. Accept the fact that Galloway, like the vast majority of the DUmmies and the rest of the Far Left, are just flat out nutcases.]

note to self: If you ever get 15 minutes of activist fame don't
squander it with idiotic self-aggrandizing choices. Legitimacy problems will multiply.

["Can I buy me an EXTRA-LARGE jockstrap?"]

Colin Powell does the Village People!

[Barney Frank is mad at him for stealing his shtick.]

This deserves a video link:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1532509206579317476

[BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! OH MAN!!! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU for providing that video link showing Galloway acting like a Puddy Tat lapping up milk out of Rula Lenska's (the "famous" film actress) hands! Yeah, I can definitely see that video being used in a campaign commercial...by Galloway's opponent.]

oh that seriously creeped me out!

[Is it really any creepier than Ted Kennedy and Chris Dodd making a waitress "sandwich?"]

Ooookay.... that was way weird.

[No weirder than Wesley Clark's Gay Advocate photo pose.]

How I wish I hadn't seen that ...

[That's what Joe Biden said when he saw the video of himself in a TOTAL MENTAL MELTDOWN in the Senate while screaming at Secretary of State George Schultz years ago. A special Kewpie Doll award for anybody who can track down that video since it is NO NUttier than George Galloway the Puddy Tat lapping up milk on all fours.]

That is such a bizarre, but amusing photo. The "off the shoulders" look. So friggin' bizarre...I'm amused, but also concerned that he will try to re-emerge in the political sphere in late 2006 or 2008. The last thing we need is for Galloway to be making a forceful anti-Bush message on TV, while the network does a split-screen with his cat act or this weird leotard thing.

[BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Thanx for the BRILLIANT idea.]

I. Can't. Even. Bring. Myself. To. See. That. Picture. Again. I. Am.... ...So. Cold. Please. Send. Help. Water. Rushing. Into. Wheelhouse. Of. My. Mind.

[You'll have the same reaction if you ever get to see the video of John Edwards spending 5 minutes preening himself in front of his beauty compact.]

It's a combination of his ego and some patronising idea he has that the "yoof" will soomehow start listening to a politician if he goes on a stupid reality-show.

[Perhaps Richard Hatch ("Survivor") has a promising career ahead of him in Democrat politics. That video of him walking around in his birthday suit should make for a great campaign commercial.]

The only political thing I've seen broadcast was when Rula asked Galloway whether the Iraqi's hated Saddam and he said "of course not", his political opponents did, granted, but the "ordinary Iraqi" had no problem with him.

[That DOPEY statement is almost as FUnnie as the Red Leotard photo.]

I don't know if his ego is going to be too big now...
Normal humans would shrink away into obscurity or commit suicide. He's going to need a massive case of narcissism to get over that leotard picture and the cat/milk video...

[If there were a photo of me prancing around in a red leotard or a video of me as a Puddy Tat on all fours lapping up milk from Rula Lenska's hands, I would exile myself off the planet so good luck (NOT) to George Galloway trying to get re-elected to Parliament.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-23-06 ("Democrats: Stand Up and Walk Out"---Pied PIper Pitt)

Pied Piper Pitt's absolute FAVORITE hobby is grandstanding. He loves nothing better than placing himself dead square at the CENTER of attention. And what better place to grab attention for himself than at the nationally televised State of the Union Address? Pitt's fantasy proposal is that EVERY Democrat at the State of the Union Address just stand up at a predetermined moment of the President's speech and silently walk out as you can see in his DUmmie THREAD titled, "Democrats: Stand Up and Walk Out." Two BIG problems with this fantasy. First if it ever did come to fruition it would backfire BIGTIME on the Democrats which is why I am actually hoping that the Democrats follow this absurd proposal. The other problem is that it would place Pied Piper Pitt in the spotlight of public attention. Of course, he would bask in the light of such publicity but such public attention would also bring Pitt notoriety of a very UNWANTED sort. Perhaps Pitt thinks that his new celebrity would automatically cancel out any skeletons rattling around in the closet. It won't. In fact it would make them worse which is ANOTHER reason why I hope Pitt's fantasy is realized. So let us now watch Pied Piper Pitt make a proposal SURE to kill the standing of the Democrats in the public esteem in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching Pitt grandstanding from across the schoolyard, is in [brackets]:

Democrats: Stand Up and Walk Out

[Schoolgirls: Stand Up and Walk Out]

MEMO
To: Congressional Democrats
From: William Rivers Pitt
RE: A bold maneuver

[GRANDSTANDING MEMO
To: Congressional Democrats
From: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
RE: A DUmb maneuver]

I have a wild and crazy idea.

[Said Pitt, just before pulling out the candy bar...]

George W. Bush’s delivery of the State of the Union address will take place on Tuesday, January 31, a little more than a week from now. It is my strong belief that every single Democrat present in the House chamber for the speech should, at a predetermined moment, stand up and walk out. No yelling. No heated words. Every Democrat should simply stand silently and leave.

[Every Democrat should simply walk out of the House Chamber...and any chance of being re-elected again.]

Crazy, I know. Crazy, and possibly the best idea ever put before a body of Democrats since the New Deal.

[The best idea ever put before a body of Democrats since the New Deal? Oh, Pitt, your modesty is soooo underwhelming.]

Understand this, congressional Democrats, and understand it well: you are not dealing merely with a body of political opponents in the GOP. You are dealing with a group of people that want you exterminated politically. The days of walking the halls of the Rayburn Building, sharing a bourbon with a colleague from the other side of the aisle, and hammering out a compromise are as dead as Julius Caesar. Collegiality is out. Mutual respect is out. They want you gone for good. Erased. Destroyed.

[Pied Piper Pitt displaying the politics of civility. However, I bet he isn't above sharing a bourbon (or two or three) with a Republican as long as it is the other guy who is paying.]

And you, you puddings, have been far too polite about this. The writing has been on the wall for a while now. Back in 1995, Republican Senator Phil Gramm said, “We’re going to keep building the party until we’re hunting Democrats with dogs.” That was eleven years ago. If you listen close, you can hear the beasts baying in the distance, waiting to slip the leash. Your limp tactics in the face of the assault upon you, your vacillation, your strange hope that maybe the GOP will be nicer tomorrow, has left you all smelling like Alpo.

[If you listen close, Pitt, you can hear the underage female dogs baying in the distance.]

For the love of God, you are being compared to Osama bin Laden all over network television because some within your ranks have had the courage to question the war in Iraq. It hasn’t been subtle. Bin Laden, according to the right-wing talking heads, is getting his talking points straight from Howard Dean. These are the out-front spokespeople for the folks running the GOP right now. If you think there is compromise to be had with these people, if you think there is quarter to be given to you, then I have a nice, big, red bridge to sell you in San Francisco.

[How about a nice little bridge in Chappaquiddick?]

I know you believe the Abramoff scandal is going to be your bread and butter in the upcoming midterm elections. I hate to break it to you, but you have already been outflanked. The television nitwits have flooded the airwaves with the meme that this is a “two-party scandal,” despite the fact that Abramoff would have sooner lit himself on fire than give money to a Democrat. As you have been collectively incapable of setting the record straight in public, with the exception of a two-minute crunch between Howard Dean and Wolf Blitzer on CNN that left Blitzer spluttering impotently, understand that “this scandal affects both parties” is now commonly accepted fact all across the land.

[Yeah, I saw the amounts that Abramoff gave to Republicans. Most of the donations ranged around $500 and a thousand bucks. Chump change in campaign terms. Somehow I don't think a typical official with a campaign fund totalling around a million dollars is going to be influenced (bribed) by those piddling amounts. Oh, and MERRY FITZMAS!]

Oh, yeah, P.S., the investigation is being run out of the Department of Justice. If this scandal does touch some sixty Republican officeholders, as Abramoff’s donation history indicates, do you really think this White House is going to let the investigation get far enough to do real damage? If so, I again need to mention that big, red bridge I have for sale.

[How about a big red schoolbus, Pitt? Is that for sale?]

In all likelihood, however, the White House won’t even need to derail the Abramoff investigation to save Republicans from their ridiculous greed. Did you see the Washington Post headline from Friday? It read, “Rove: GOP to Use Terror as Campaign Issue.” In reality, the headline should have read “GOP to Use Terror as Campaign Tactic.” Once again, the Republicans are going to try to win midterm elections by scaring the hell out of the American people. This time, the fear factor will center around Iran and nuclear weapons.

[Thank God you for our Pied Piper Pitt who is the ONLY one who can counteract the EVIL Repulicans with his State of the Union walkout shtick.]

The intelligence specialists in the United States, Germany and Israel all agree that Iran is between three and five years away from being able to manufacture nuclear weapons. This, of course, is based on the premise that such manufacture is Iran’s goal. Take it as a given that it is, and we have at least three years to use diplomacy, economic pressures and possibly sanctions to keep them from creating these bombs.

[And if you're wrong about that three year "breather" the Middle East becomes radioactive. Hmmm... Do we actually DO something about this now or trust the wise geopolitical judgement of Pied Piper Pitt? Such a tough decision.]

But “three to five years” isn’t going to help the GOP win the midterm elections. They need things to be scary, and they need things to be scary now. The same right-wing groups that ginned up the fantasy that Iraq was laden with weapons of mass destruction, and was an imminent threat, are now at work building up a martial froth about Iran. They did this in time for the midterms last year, and are preparing to do it again.

[Yes, let us trust in the benificence of President Hostage-Taker of Iran, a man of mild rhetoric. Of course, the fact that there could be a major NUCLEAR WAR in the Middle East (and possibly elsewhere) takes a backseat to the fact that those DARN Republicans could win more seats in the mid-term elections.]

United Press International carried a story last Thursday about a group called the Foundation for Democracy in Iran. This group, according to the UPI story, claims that, “Tehran is planning a nuclear weapons test before the Iranian New Year on March 20, 2006.” FDI, according to the story, offered absolutely no proof to back this claim. But that’s not three to five years. That’s less than ten weeks. Scary stuff, right?

[Not as scary as the words coming out of Iran's President Hostage-Taker's own mouth.]

Take a closer look, however, and you can see the fingerprints of the architects of our current Iraq boondoggle all over this. The Foundation for Democracy in Iran is run by a man named Kenneth Timmerman. Timmerman is umbilically connected to the godfather of right-wing think tanks, the American Enterprise Institute. It was the American Enterprise Institute that spawned the Project for the New American Century, the think tank that gave us Cheney, Wolfowitz, Rumsfeld, the original noise about Iraqi WMD and the idea that a military takeover of the entire Mideast is a bully idea. The same people that terrorized the American people into unnecessary war in Iraq are preparing to do the same with Iran, and all in time for the midterms.

[It is all a plot by the Jude...uh, I mean Neocons.]

One must also note the irony of the suggested date for this Iranian nuclear test. March 20, 2006, for those not paying attention, is the three-year anniversary of our invasion of Iraq. And round and round we go.

[One must also note the irony of the post by Pied Piper Pitt concerning the Jan. 20 news articles about the photos of the hostages taken in Iran appearing in the news outlets. To Pitt it was a sign of an impending attack on Iran. However, if Pitt actually THOUGHT for a couple of seconds he would have figured out that the reason for those pics was because that date was the 25th anniversary of the release of the hostages from Iran. DUhhhhhhhh!]

You’ve been outflanked, Democrats. Abramoff won’t help you, and the noise machine is preparing to terrorize the American people into such a distracted state that anything you say in the next ten months will be lost amid the howling. The midterms are pretty much a done deal, and your continued marginalization will proceed at speed.

[Therefore my solution is for you to marginalize yourself off the edge of the cliff by walking out on the President in the middle of his State of the Union Address.]

You can stomp your feet and yell at the wall. You can put your head in your hands and weep. You can sit silently and be simply satisfied that your own job-for-life is secure, thanks to your friendly district back home, and be damned to actually doing anything of substance. In other words, you can continue to do what you’ve been doing since this outrageous assault on basic American democracy began.

[But wait, Pitt! Haven't you heard about the April 23rd Bowel Movement when you DUmmies are going to bring down the economy by withdrawing your dimes from the bank and selling off your vast penny stock portfolios? This is SURE to bring down the EVIL Bush Regime.]

Or you can stand up.

[Stand up and be frisked.]

It takes a spine to stand up. Find yours. Get up and walk out of the State of the Union speech. Turn your backs on the blizzard of lies and empty promises that are sure to pour forth from that podium. Give it exactly what it deserves.

[Stand up and turn your backs on any future poltical credibility.]

Walk outside to the steps of the Capitol Building and hold a Counter-State-of-the-Union. Lay out your plans for a better future. Explain how you will reform the system that spawned Mr. Abramoff. Demand answers and explanations about what is happening in Iraq, what is happening over at the National Security Agency, and why this administration believes itself to be completely above the law.

[Hold a Counter-State-of-the-Union. Lay out your plans for a better future...and issue a pardon to Pied Piper Pitt.]

I can even offer a bit of text for your opening statement. “Three years ago during this very speech,” your leading spokesperson can say from those steps, “Mr. Bush told us that Iraq was in possession of 26,000 liters of anthrax, 38,000 liters of botulinum toxin, 500 tons – which is one million pounds – of sarin, mustard and VX nerve agent, 30,000 missiles to deliver the stuff, mobile biological weapons labs, al Qaeda connections, and uranium from Niger for use in a robust nuclear weapons program. He said all this three years ago, during this all-important annual address, and all of it was a lie. The American people deserve an explanation.”

[Sheesh! Such modesty. Not only does Pied Piper Pitt propose that the Democrats destroy themselves by walking out on the State of the Union address but he is even writing their self-destruct speeches for them.]

See? It’s easy. All it takes is courage.

[And a large measure of STUPIDITY.]

What I am talking about is political theater on a grand scale. No opposition party in American history has ever turned their backs on a President and walked out of a State of the Union address. No opposition party has faced the degree of potential extermination the Democrats face today. The stakes have never been higher. You are dealing with a President who wants to make his Executive powers absolute, and with a Republican party that has been usurped from soup to nuts by extremists that would be cartoonish if they were not so very real.

[Welcome to the DUmmie Theater of the Absurd as directed by Pied Piper Pitt.]

Abramoff won’t help you. The fear factor will subsume you. You can sit there and take it, clapping politely as the ram rolls towards you, or you can stand up and make yourselves relevant again. To walk out of the speech would be a huge statement, bold and potentially dangerous. But if you don’t do something bold, something grand and unprecedented, something to take back the initiative, you will join the Whigs in the dustbin of history.

[Do they allow Whigs in prison? Oops! It's wigs that they don't allow in prison. Just ask Jim Traficant who had the dead squirrel sitting atop his head taken away from him upon being incarcerated.]

Stand up. Walk out. You have a week to get this organized.

[Or busted, Pitt... Now let us hear from the DUmmie Lemmings for whom Pied Piper Pitt was playing his latest self-destruct tune.]

Now if William Pitt will join the effort and call for mass protests at the State of Union....that would be something....

[WORK! I'm afraid that William Pitt the Plunger might be preoccupied with other matters soon.]

the leaders will follow only when weTHEpeople lead!

[Please follow the DUmmies over the cliff!]

Our "Rump" Congress get off its Rump?
Not a chance.

[Our DUmmies get off their rumps? Not a chance. The glow from the computer screen is just too warm to get away from.]

Thanks for the daydream. Felt good to read it. Waking up is hard.

[Then go back to sleep and enjoy dreaming of the Alternate Reality.]

Doubt if Lieberman and Obama would agree...!

[Or any Democrat up for re-election this year.]

I have another idea, too. What if they walked out and instead gave their seats to constituents from their states/districts? What if the audience was packed with average working people?

[Or wacko DUmmies? I like the idea of presenting great comedy on the tube.]

Go for it Will. Like them we have nothing to lose by trying.

[Go for it Will. You have nothing to lose except for 3 to 5 years with time off for good behavior.]

Instead, they should stand up to Alito this week! I want action, not feel good symbols! Please focus on Alito instead...We can win this one if we pull together!

[Sorry but this is the week of your ApocAlito.]

a nationwide hunger strike by tens of millions of citizens would do the trick, mind you (the repukes might see this as a guilty whistling-and-looking-up-at-the-ceiling way to get ridda all us whiners ) but when vast numbers of foreigners also join in the hunger strike, to pressure their mediawhores and governments, in sympathy with the US liberals/democrats (and why should all the burden be borne by americans when bush is obviously a global danger acting in contradiction to every living thing's future?) then at some point the enormity of the opposition to bush would become plain as the ass on george bush...btw no one would really have to starve (haha gopig!) we all just wear a blue ribbon or sometrhing saying 'we're on hunger strike until impeachment proceeding begin against bush, and a public prosecutor starts to looks into the media's rightwing whoring' etc....if the democratic party doesn't act in solidarity against the busheviks at the SOTU, then maybe a national hunger protest would be necessary (desperate times demand desperate measures)

[Yeah, that national hunger strike should do the trick...until you get the munchies around noontime and make a beeline for Mickey D's.]

Just got an email from Cindy Sheehan. She will be there on the 31st for a people's state of the union. Hm...

[Thanx for that info, Pitt. Now if only Michael Moore and Harry Belafonte show up, it should be an outstanding success.]

Yes Will, as a poster above said, add something about Florida 2000.

[And Dingell-Norwood.]

Mr Pitt please add This spying scandal.

[And Dingell-Norwood.]

It'll Never Happen. It will take a week for them just to discuss
the ramifications of such an action.

[Just like DUAC. What happened to that? DUAC! DUAC!]

to Will Pitt: personally I think might be a better chance of having the dems just boycott the SOTU- not show up in the first place - than do something some would paint as a divisive, disruptive maneuver.

[Or, better yet, stage a hunger strike by not eating lunch that day in the Capitol cafeteria.]

I have to go out for the afternoon. When the truthout version of this goes up later this afternoon, can someone post it in a thread so we can get signatures? Thanks.

[Pied Piper Pitt needs an afternoon "breather" at Bukowski's. After being properly fortified he will type up the rest of his Democrat Self-Destruct Manifesto.]

Dear Senator Kerry:

An idea has begun to circulate on the internet, on such sites as DemocraticUnderground, that on January 31, when Mr. Bush gives the State of the Union, at a pre-determined moment, all the Democrats get up and walk out, en masse. They would then hold a counter State-of-the-Union address, raising the vital questions concerning the lies, deceptions and illegal activity of Mr. Bush, Mr. Cheney, etc. and laying out a plan for the future. If this could be done without advanced notice to the press, so that the "protest walk-out" would be a surprise, that would be even better. We are at a stage in our country's history similar to that before the Revolution and during the Vietnam War protests. You have always been a leader, one who analyzes carefully (said analysis sometimes mistaken as being over-cautious) and then acts boldly and decisively. I hope you will take the lead in organizing this "mass protest." I fear nothing else will awaken the media to its dereliction of duty, nor demonstrate to the majority of Americans who want real leadership, not demagoguery, that it still exists among our elected officials.

[The best part of this plan is the surprise factor. As you have written, we have NO ADVANCE notice of this Democrat Self-Destruct scheme.]

Dems should schedule a TV viewing with pizzas instead of watching the cavalcade of lies.

[Chicago style or pan pizza?]

"Audacity, audacity, always audacity !"

[And I'll be using the Audacity software for my upcoming DUmmie FUnnies audio podcast.]

Let's not wait for congress, let's hit the streets ourselves!
On the night of Tuesday Jan 31st, thousands of us in the SF Bay Area will hit the streets in protest of Bush and his agenda. We will gather in Union Sq in SF and make noise during the speech, then topple a 30ft paper mache statue of Bush.

[And don't forget to spend Not One Damn Dime.]

Trouble is, they can't arrest and detain over HALF of the population that demonstrably can't stand their current furher.

[I'm already seeing the beginnings of a legal strategy here: "Hey! I'm not being arrested over some trumped up schoolkid charges. I'm REALLY being arrested because I'm organizing a major protest against the EVIL Bush Regime!"]

Will - You are EVERYWHERE!!!

[Including Newton, MA.]

YOU ARE A ROCK STAR!

[YOU ARE A ROCK STAR! You will soon be hammering rocks with the best of them!]

WALK OUT!!! JUST DO IT!!!

[The new Nike commercial.]

Will Pitt...from your mouth to their ears...I hope.

["Will Pitt...from your mouth to their ears." Are you quoting court testimony?]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-21-06 ("A REAL protest: Time to hit them in their wallets")

The impending confirmation of Samuel Alito is hitting the DUmmies much HARDER than I ever imagined. As a result, DUmmieland is full of gloom and doom threads inspired by the coming ApocAlito. Right now there are Four Horsemen of the ApocAlito: Roberts, Scalia, Thomas, and Alito. When the Fifth (and Sixth) Horsemen of the ApocAlito are added, we can well expect the DUmmie lemmings to make arrangements to enter Heaven's Gate to meet the Mother Ship. One FRINGE BENEFIT of all the End of the World threads is that it is providing some really INCREDIBLE entertainment such as this THREAD titled, "A REAL protest: Time to hit them in their wallets." Of course, the proposed DUmmie suggestion is strictly an exercise in futility. So let us watch the DUmmie ants bang their collective heads against the wall OVER and OVER again in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, fattening his own wallet by selling tickets to the DUmmie Theater of the Absurd, is in the [brackets]:

A REAL protest: Time to hit them in their wallets.

[Not One Damn Dime Day.]

learned one thing from the massive anti-war protests we had in the runup to the Iraq quagmire. The BushCo Fascists know that they can ride out any civil disobedience, provided it doesn't hit them in the wallets.

[It was due to the incredible success of Not One Damn Dime Day. It struck fear in the Chimpco wallet.]

Though it grieves me to say this, because I make my living there, it may be time to STRIKE AT WALL STREET.

[You work on Wall Street? Delivering pizzas to brokerage firms?]

How you ask? Easy. We'll select a day that is unmistakably a day for protest. I will leave it to historians to find a worthy anniversary.

[April 1 would be the PERFECT day.]

Own any mutual funds? Sell them on that date. If this works effectively,, you will be able to buy them back cheaper later.

[Since the tax cuts have been working so well as a spur to the economy, you will be buying them back later at a STEEPER price.]

Own any stocks? Sell on that date. Same message. Buy back Cheaper later.

[Sell low. Buy high.]

Have a subscription to the New York Times, Barrons, or Wall Street Journal? Cancel it ON THAT DAY.

[It's going to KILL the WSJ to lose those two DUmmie subscribers.]

ANY CDs ? WITHDRAW THE MONEY EARLY ON THAT DAY. Straighten your affairs and CLOSE YOUR BANK ACCOUNT THAT DAY.

[WITHDRAW INTO THE HOBBIT HOLE THAT DAY.]

Credit Cards? Cancel them ON THAT DAY.

[Have any brain cells left? Cancel them ON THAT DAY.]

None of this can't be undone, but I'm telling you the expense and chaos that would result would be like a dagger to the heart of the Bush regime; because that's when it gets personal; when you cost their corporate overlords money.

[This could shake them up as much as Not One Damn Dime Day.]

Who's with me?

LETS GO GET THOSE NEOCON BASTARDS!

[Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough... the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go!]

I'm With You To A Point....
But something like selling all stocks and mutual funds would have too big an impact on innocent parties, or even people who would support this but are unaware.

[I SALUTE your conscience. After all, a couple of DUmmies selling off their penny stocks could ruin the economy and harm the innocent people.]

If the innocents you speak of look for blame
The finger will be pointed at BushCo. If you waver , sure, we'll lose. They are counting on you wavering.

[Hey Chimpco! The big penny stock selloff amounting to 4 bucks is ALL YOUR FAULT!!!]

This idea could be expanded into other areas - imagine if, ON THAT DAY, everyone didn't SHOP? Didn't go out to dinner? Didn't go to a movie?

[Didn't use a pay toilet.]

Empty streets, buses, subways, restaurants, stores and movie theatres across the country, all ON THAT DAY, would send a very powerful message. And when retailers start reporting the giant drop in patronage ON THAT DAY, it will certainly make the NEWS!

[It...it could be almost as big as Not One Damn Dime Day!!!]

Its a 21st century general strike. Focused; done via modem and phone line.

[You won't even have to move your lazy ass away from the glow of your computer screen.]

FOR THE FUTURE. FOR THE SAKE OF OUR GRANDCHILDREN, WE MUST ELIMINATE THIS SCOURGE FROM OUR COUNTRY.

[FOR THE SAKE OF MY SANITY, DON'T ELIMINATE MY ELECTRO-SHOCK THERAPY!]

For some people out there, it would seem too onerous a task to do all of this, and then go back and un-do it. And if the task is too onerous, it won't get the massive response necessary.

[Understatement of the year.]

This is a cross posted plan; you could do a general strike too, but I'm telling you , the significance of chopping a chunk off the market cap of an S&P company, all because Bush won't leave office, THAT is something that speaks volumes.

[I have a better idea. Why don't you doo-doo in your pants and jump up and down while screaming until Bush leaves office?]

I`ve been racking my brains trying to think of a mass effort DUers could participate in. Something nonviolent and effective, something that`s considerate of the fact that many folks don`t have a lot of spare time....or money. I don`t have any monetary bargaining chips, but I do have a burning desire to do something.

[We'll just sit around waiting until you think of something to do...or doo-doo.]

I've already pondered closing my largest savings accout and demanding the money in cash on the day if/when Alito is confirmed.

[Give me my two bucks...NOW!!!]

First step is progressives ending their subscriptions for cable and sattellite.

[Then cancel your Internet connection.]

We're organizing it RIGHT NOW. Starting with DU. I've seen stranger things catch on. It's doable. We just need the date. Oh and of course a communique, Osama style, with Skinner in a black Ski mask petting his chihuahua released to the media

[The message of the communique, delivered by Skinner's chihuahua, would be: "Yo quiero Taco Bell!"]

Satellite is the only way that I can watch c-span, DemocracyNow and some other really good programs on Free Speech TV and LinkTV, and that's why I don't want to cancel it. I saw that the "Basement Hearings" will replay tonight and I intend to tape it. My kids need to see it and I'll share it with other people who need to see it. Sorry, but I'm not willing to cancel my satellite. I'll do a lot of other things, but not that.

[The first of the DUmmies who will be pleading for special dispensation from the PayPal Ban on Satellite TV.]

Bank accounts, credit cards, Mutual funds. Quit THOSE.

[Sanity, reality, common sense. Quit THOSE.]

It's called a General Strike...
Call it for what it is. A General Strike! Same thing. the impact is ECONOMICAL. that's the point, that's the target, that's what a General Strike is.

[Say it! SAY IT! SAAAAAAAAY IT!!!]

See, the corporate oligarchy that runs Bushco does not fear a"general strike" because the impact, direct impact on them is too diluted.

[We regret to inform you that the corporate oligarcy that runs Bushco has been reorganized as Chimpco.]

I agree with your premise, and a real General Strike is, probably unlikely. But Economic General Strike, has a certain ring to it...

[I'm sort of partial to Generally Economic General Strike.]

It's the April 23rd movement.

[How about the April 1 Generally Economic General Strike Bowel Movement?]

I can do some, but not all.......gotta keep the bank account due to my co. requiring direct deposit of pay, plus
child support pmts.

[Uh-Oh! ANOTHER DUmmie asking for Special Dispensation.]

Some is the idea. If everyone does SOMETHING, we might get SOMEWHERE

[Can I SNORE loudly in protest? Can I? Can I? Can I?]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-20-06 ("I am overwhelmed with grief. I feel the USA is dying ...")

I LOVE reading apocalyptic DUmmie threads. Their doom and gloom attitude is always a great source for comedic entertainment. And there seems to have been a great increase in the number of DUmmie apocalyptic threads lately. Perhaps this is due to the impending confirmation of Judge Alito to the Supreme Court. Hope as they may, there is NO WAY to stop his confirmation. Thus we are presented with images of the ApocAlito in which Supreme Court Justices actually interpret the Constitution as it was WRITTEN and throw out the whole dopey liberal concept of a "Living" Constitution (interpreting it whatever liberal way they want). Another big factor in DUmmie depression is the fact that Fitzmas came and went without delivering up the promised gift in the form of a frog walking Karl Rove. All these factors and more have led to the incredible level of DUmmie angst as seen in this DUFU edition's featured THREAD, melodramatically titled, "I am overwhelmed with grief. I feel the USA is dying ..." So let us enjoy the whiney bleatings of the DUmmies in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, with a front row seat at the Prozac Theater of the Absurd, is in the [brackets]:

I am overwhelmed with grief. I feel the USA is dying ...
the shit is piled so high, this country and it's greatness is suffocating ...I cried when Kerry lost the election but this is worse ...there seems to be no hope in sight. Tell me if I am wrong. America is dying.

[Cheer up! Fitzmas is coming soon...right after the arrival of the Great Pumpkin.]

You feel overwhelmed because there is so much coming out now.
The lid is finally blowing. I know it does seem overwhelming, but worse is when none of this was coming out. The secrets and lies are being bared and it makes me want to fight harder. Now is not the time to give in. Now in this slowly growing light, we must push on and push hard. This country will survive because of people like you and I. Believe it. Enjoy these moments to tell your grandkids about. Look back and feel pride for your courage in the storm. You are right, and you have the right. You are saving this dream, you are the patriot that our forefathers are talking to in the Declaration of Independence.

[Some whiney little shmuck is tapping away in his underwear in front of the glow of a 'puter screen deep in the basement of his parent's house screeching "WOE IS US!" and he is somehow supposed to be "the patriot that our forefathers are talking to in the Declaration of Independence?" Oh well, if it helps him make it over the eternal hump perhaps it is a humanitarian act to feed him this line of BS.]

You have spoken in such a way that I can only say how beautiful it is. Those are the words of bravery. Of pride. And truth.

[And whine.]

You are right -- I used to feel overwhelmed as well. One of the
reasons was because these m-fers were getting away with everything. The truth is starting to come out and they are sweating it. I am starting to feel better about things.

[Merry Fitzmas and have a Happy ApocAlito!]

I wonder will people fall for the bullshit or will we get our country back? The more pissed off I get the more I want to do something.

[Then try shifting your butt a bit in your computer chair.]

Got to get practical, though--and address ourselves to the mechanism of our sovereignty as a people: our right to vote, which the fascists have effectively taken away. We MUST get it back. Priority no. 1.

[Have you tried defacing a Diebold truck yet? That should bring back your voting rights.]

Yes, we do need to fight harder. And I'm so glad you feel our country will survive. I guess I do too. I will continue to fight the good fight, 'cause I'm not going down quietly.

[You will heroically go down loudly belching chocolate chip cookies.]

There has never been a time like this in American history. One cadre controls all the levers of power, government, the media, and the mechanism which counts the votes. This has never happened before.

[I'll analyze your rant in greater detail later right after I'm done reprogramming more Diebold source code.]

Ultimately Chimpco's "disasters" do not matter insofar as affecting the electoral process.

[LOL! Chimpco. Thanx for another FUnnie word to use in addition to Chimpus Khan. Chimpco is like the corporate version of Chimpus Khan.]

We are done. The only question remaining is when the rest of the world decides it has had enough of the United States of America and takes corrective action. Time is running out.

[Perhaps Iran can take "corrective action" by nuking us?]

Late on election day 2004, the corporate news monopolies, acting in concert, through one polling organization, DOCTORED their own exit polls (which Kerry won) to force them to "fit" the results they received from two Bushite electronic voting firms--Diebold and ES&S--who tabulated 80% of the vote using 'TRADE SECRET,' PROPRIETARY programming code, with virtually no audit/recount controls (a non-transparent election system that was wide open to fraud). I believe that, in fact, Kerry won that election by a landslide (at least a 5% margin), and that, because Kerry's win was so big, Bushite operatives in Ohio had to implement Plan B, the massive, egregious and visible violations of the Voting Rights Act against black and other voters that are documented in the Conyers report. By these two illegal means, the vote was flipped over to Bush.

[It sounds like you were hitting the "victory" champagne as heavily as Susan Estrich.]

Americans didn't buy Bush's lies. They never have. But they ARE affected by this ILLUSION of a rightwing majority. It makes members of the progressive majority feel isolated and alone--and very disempowered.

[Ah! You've hit the nail on the head. The vast majority of the Americans are as loony as the DUmmies are. They voted in a landslide to elect Kerry but only Diebold manipulation created the illusion that the loonies lost.]

But things ARE changing, and very rapidly--on the election reform front, and many other fronts. I think that this great progressive majority will get together and re-assert itself--and is doing just that. I'm not saying things aren't scary and precarious. They are. But I think that the NAKEDNESS and UGLINESS of this Bush junta power grab is exposing the whole anti-democratic structure of corporate rule, and I think that the corporate rulers are about to take a very big fall. Their power is built on lies and illusions. It has no solidity. The rightwing that it is based on is at the same level it has ALWAYS been (about 30% to 40%). There IS no rightwing majority, or even anyting close to it.

[Fixing voting machines is sooo 2004. Our next step in the fascist power grab is to ensure that only patsy Democrat nominees sure to fail go up against Republicans. Case in point: Hillary. Karl Rove is at work behind the scenes to ensure her '08 nomination. Squawk all you want, DUmmies, but Hillary WILL be your nominee.]

I am a formal newspaper reporter. I was trained that when I walked into city hall or other government buildings as a reporter that I was the "eyes and the ears of the public". Without journalists and media sources that have a conscience and feel they watch and listen for us, the masses are easily controlled ...I'm trying hard not to feel hopeless ...

[I would feel mighty hopeless myself if I were a "formal" newspaper reporter and had your grade school level of grammar.]

I can't explain it but I just felt like a friend died only it was my country ...I cried. I can't explain it other than the first poster might be right ...it's overwhelming to handle all the crap that is coming to the surface now ...I'm glad it is but it's overwhelming to realize that the American people let this happen, let this insidious cancerous group take over ...

[There is nothing wrong with your Diebold machine. Do not attempt to adjust the ballot. We are controlling the results. If we wish to make it more Republican , we will bring up the votes. If we wish to make it closer, we will fine tune it to a squeaker. We can reduce the voting to a light turnout, or increase it to a landslide. We will control the House. We will control the Senate. For the next four years, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to... The Diebold Limits.]

I'm torn between staying away from DU and finding it a refuge of the only people-and the other blogs I read- that get what's really happening to our country. If I stay away, read or do anything else I can feel better for awhile and put it away-but then it comes back. I can keep the TV off. But I can't be in denial..and no one around me feels as much alarm as I do. Because my friends aren't political, liberal, not religious, but not political. This is the only place I can say what I feel and even feel okay if it's challenged because I know most of the people here GET it. That I'm not insane. It is this bad. And it's happening as we watch. Maybe an overnight coup would be better, yah know..the slow death thing is agony as nothing good happens where we know we are in the rightgeous camp and they are not.

[DUmmieland is the Safe House for the Loooooonies.]

You are cutting your losses again and again with this WH full off rutting Bull elephants. No civilized society can handle rutting Bull elephants. Why you never see them in Zoos. It is painful and it hurts. You must remember to cry and grieve and get it out. The only way. Your losses are real. So - accept the awful situation you are in will go on for a bit more and cry.

[So just accept your awful situation and allow yourself to be painfully rutted by a bull elephant. You may cry but you will be allowed to smoke a cigarette in the morning.]

I've been there. I know how much it hurts.

[Yes. Being rutted by a bull elephant can be quite painful.]

What is really difficult is that I also work for
a poor Indian tribe and have to deal with the decreasing lack of funding available to them to provide services to their people, basic services. Every day,I cross a city street and go into a "sovereign nation" territory and try to find ways to help, find funding, etc. and it's all drying up because this country craps on its own people while killing the people of other lands.

[Seminoles? Yes, it is terrible to go onto a Seminole reservation. I always have a hell of a time finding a parking space at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino.]

Nothing for you to do but FIGHT.
Fight to the death. Fight until we win. Buck up, friend. You are not alone.

[Fight to the DEATH or when your ISP service is terminated by Mommy...whichever is first.]

I'm f*cking GLAD Kerry didn't win. #1 because I don't like Kerry and never have. #2 because George Bush and the GOP criminal establishment will now be held accountable for what they've done to our nation. If that includes criminal conviction and jail time, all the better.

[Um...Is this what they call making lemonade from lemons?]

Reality bites.

[Cheer up! The Alternate Reality is waiting for you in the Other Dimension at the end of the Space/Time Continuum.]

I wasn't in a very good mood today at work because I was thinking about all the neocon crap. Sometimes it all gets to me. It's a good thing I am on antidepressants, or I just don't know how I would be able to cope at all.

[Prozac with a Lithium chaser?]

I cried for two days after the last "election" was stolen.

[Since you were on Suicide Watch after the 2002 elections, you are showing signs of improvement!]

The 'USA' was founded on Deceit, Death and Destruction. its Karma had to catch up with it sometime.




[Thus spaketh a future delegate to the Democrat National Convention. Hey flyarm! You have competition.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-19-06 ("Al-Jazeera Airs New Bin Laden Tape")

As soon as I heard the news that a new Osama Bin Laden tape had been released, my first thought was that the DUmmies would view this TOTALLY thru the lens of Bush Hate. A quick check with my DUmmie Ant Farm did not disappoint. The critters in the DUmmie Ant Farm are rushing about in circles all atwitter in outrage, not at Osama, but at Bush as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Al-Jazeera Airs New Bin Laden Tape." So let us now sit back and be royally entertained by DUmmie conspiracy theories again in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, sitting on the first row of the DUmmie Firesign Theater of the Absurd, is in the [brackets]:

MSNBC Breaking: Al-Jazeera Airs New Bin Laden Tape ...broadcast on Al Jazeera, being translated now by MSNBC translator, OBL promising new attacks on the US.




[With the exception of DUmmieland. DUmmieland is doing just fine on its own in attacking America.]

Were bad poll numbers expected today?

[Of course. That's why the RNC called up Bin Laden and told him to release the tape to bolster the poll ratings.]

There must be something coming up about the Bush administration
some indictments maybe?

[Of course. That's why the RNC called up Bin Laden and told him to release the tape to divert attention from the indictments.]

When is the next vote to extend the Patriot Act?

[Of course. That's why the RNC called up Bin Laden and told him to release the tape to help the extension of the Patriot Act.]

My guess, Rove's calculated that he needs the confluence of multiple "crises" to give BushCo the absolute powers they need in time to avoid their own removal.

[What incisive analysis, DUmmie. Karl Rove called up Bin Laden and asked him to release the tape to help the Evil Bush Regime grab absolute power before they can be removed.]

Wanna bet it's a fake?

[It's really Karl Rove using a voice scrambler.]

To distract from Abramoff?
Or in anticipation of Rove's indictment by Fitzgerald?

[MERRY FITZMAS!!! Unfortunately you haven't noticed that the Grinch has stolen Fitzmas.]

The real Osama or the fake Osama?

[Neither. It is Karl Rove on Memorex.]

My, but he has alot of free time to be monitoring Bush's poll numbers, eh ? Very suspicious.

[Osama Bin Laden has been sitting in a mountain cave for years obsessed with only one thing---Bush's poll numbers.]

Just as the scandals are coming to a boil. And the Dems are scoring some good hits against the rethugs. Also, it's an election year, and the rethug prospects are looking grim. Time to roll OSB out of the crypt.

[That retainer fee the RNC paid to Osama has sure come in handy.]

I wonder if anyone, other than freepers, falls for this anymore? No one I know does, including Republicans. It's just become part of everyday life now. Like predictions of bad storms, that sometimes happen and sometimes don't.

[Speaking of falling for something...what happened to that $10 you sent to Bev Harris so that Kerry would be inaugurated on Jan. 20?]

Damn!! Jr must pay obl very well for this!

[Osama Bin Laden is just $10 away from helping Jr out of a jam.]

can't wait to see Olbermann's take on this tonight.

[It can't possibly be any FUnnier than the DUmmie take.]

Jeez, doesn't this Osama look a lot like Karl Rove?

[Slap a towel on Rove's head, keep him away from a razor blade for a month, and they are mirror images.]

I think I had better go down to the basement and make certain my duct tape and plastic are still safely stored away. Start storing water and food people!!

[You won't be needing water and food after you duct tape your nose and mouth and cover your head in plastic.]

Osama bin Laden: on the payroll for Bush? Always showing up at just the "right" time for Bush, he must be Bush's most ardent supporter, because he does everything he can to keep Bush in power.

[The secret payments in brown paper bags are made to Osama Bin Laden by Lucy Ramirez aboard a SunCruz Casino boat.]

Take my rights, PLEEAAASSEEE, just keep me SAFE from the big bad Osama - take my 1st, my 2nd, my 4th, and most importantly, my 22nd amendment right, just proteeeeecctt mmmeeeeeeeeee from the Big Bad Wolf!!! PLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSSSSSEEEE, Big Daddy, PPLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEE!!!

[Take my brain, PLEEAAASSEEE, just make me SANE again. Heeeeeeeelp mmmeeeeeeeeee!!! PLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSSSSSEEEE, Doctor, PPLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEE!!!]

why am i not one bit surprised....i really dont think this works with the average citizen any longer...just too transparent...ONLY if one listens to the corporate media shills...and they just continue to be a joke...i cant wait until the backsplash from their bullshit is all over their faces ...and bogus untruthful treasonous careers

[Yeah, the average citizen is just as LOOOOOONY as the average DUmmie. They will see that Osama Bin Laden is on the RNC payroll. And the average citizen is also hopping around on pogo sticks and waving butterfly nets.]

Oh-It's his PENIS & He's Gonna make him DANCE!
Oh it's his penis just peeking out...He always does that before F*CKING America...
Bush's little penis O'sama...What mischief will he do next?.

[A tapdance on Monica's lips.]

probably made in texas right after roves roast...and then shuttled via top secret security to the steps of al jazeera

[Lucy Ramirez is the one who makes the delivery.]

they probably practice dressing up in beards and robes and superimpose Bin Ladin's face on them by computer?

[Osama Headroom.]

God I f*cking hate these people. Words just can't even express... How about when he came out to tell us if we voted for Kerry, there would be another attack? F*cking pigs. Excuse my language, I'm just so angry right now. They're gonna get away with everything, again, and all they had to do was pull out OBL and dust him off.

[Yup! You nailed it! Kerry was going to win the election in 2004 so Rove ordered up the release of a computer generated Osama video telling us there would be attacks if we voted for Kerry which ended up hurting Kerry and giving the election to Bush. Let that thought eat away like acid on your insides day after day.]

They need a super villain to keep up the angst in the American people...Yesterday it was the communists...today it's OBL and the terrorists.

[Who knew that Osama the CGI effect could be so useful to us?]


I still think they have him on dialysis in the White House basement ... they probably thought about bringing him out after Katrina, but thought they'd better keep him down there to drag out as a trophy when there's some even BIGGER disaster.

[Didn't you read the above reply? We have Osama as a CGI effect to be carted out whenever Bush needs a boost in the polls or schemes to take away all our rights when he assumes absolute power as dictator.]

Dammit, this is exactly why...the Democrats suck. I can't find a single major liberal blog out there talking about this now - it's as if they're shying away from it, they don't know what to say.

[This is because you DUmmies are UNIQUE in your looooniness.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-19-06 ("Bush, you WILL cry")

One of my favorite Gary Larson cartoons shows a patient lying down on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. He is talking on and on and on. Next to him is the shrink writing on a notepad. And on the notepad is written: "Just plain NUTS!!!" That was how I felt about this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Bush, you WILL cry." The entire thread, led off by DUmmie Justice Is Comin is one long psychiatric rant by patients desperately in need of medical attention or just plain meds. Their anger and HATE puts them well into the realm of the clinically insane. (And speaking of mental problems, didn't a certain blowhard DUmmie have an appointment with a shrink yesterday following a meeting with his lawyer on Tuesday?) Fortunately for us, they have allowed what should have been private sessions with their shrinks be viewed in the public asylum known as DUmmieland for our entertainment pleasure. So let us now view the DUmmie screechings from the psychiatrist's couch in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, making notations of the insane ramblings on his pad, is in the [brackets]:

Bush, you WILL cry.

[If your sweetheart sends a letter of goodbye
It's no secret you'll feel better if you cry
When waking from a bad dream
Don't you sometimes think it's real
But it's only false emotions that you feel.]

That smug arrogant laugh, that walk like you got crabs, that attitude like "oh please you insignificant peasant."

If the entire Webster's dictionary was nothing but swear words, it still wouldn't be enough for me to express my infinitesimal detesation for you. You're an errant egg hatched into a hybrid mutation of an ape and a disease.

The day they come to lock the handcuffs on you and drag you away, I'll chain myself to the closest object I can find next to the doors of Congress and stay there until they declare it a national holiday.

You think this NSA thing is funny. You have no clue you’re buried in felonies up to your neck. And felonies, you iniquitos puss bag are proscriptions of law. Don’t you see? Don't you realize the significance of your own party holding hearings in the United States Senate judiciary committee? This is not going to be a democrat only hearing held in the basement. These are going to be judicially legally competent democrat-republican questioners on this panel. They are going to have subpoena access. They're going to have briefcases full of testimony from the Conyers hearing. These hearings will be globally televised and they are going to show that you secretly, willfully, and unequivocally broke the law.

And the constitution says when the president breaks laws, he’s got a problem. Impeachment is not an inconvenience that you just dust off your veto pen and make it vanish. And it's not optional. It's MANDATORY!! When the president commits high crimes and misdemeanors, IMPEACHMENT is the remedy. And believe it or not you five foot pile of shit, you may not be laughing in a couple months.

You're like a slippery clammy, squiggly, bottom feeding eel. But a whistle blower hero bravely and possibly endangering his own life, gave us the blissfully and long prayed-for evidence that finally put the harpoon in your ass. And you unwittingly admitted the crime on national TV. You will cry. You've got crumbling ratings, more investigations underway than possibly any administration in history. Your once loyal minions are scattering in every direction.. They see the writing on the wall. The castle has been breeched.. Get ready asshole. The crying is coming.

[If your heartaches seem to hang around too long
And your blues keep getting bluer with each song
Remember sunshine can be found behind the cloudy skies
So let your hair down and go on and cry.]

Remember the familiar smugness and confident remarks of, "Ill be vindicated, I've done nothing wrong, this is partisan opportunism?" Yes, that was your buddy, Cunningham. who cried and cried and cried. Dabbing tears away with his hand in humiliation and shame for the world to witness. Now Mr. Abramhof has your chief legislation ramming dickhead Delay, primed and ready for that same perp walk. We're about to invert his smile and change his happy life. Then you're next. You’re going to feel the wrath of constitutional justice. You’re going to understand this country is not hostage to, or threatened by, any man.

We will reduce you to unfamiliar and long deserved humiliation. The deafening laughter will be heard around the world. And our tears of joy will overflow the streets.

We rose up and fought a f*cking revolution to get away from one King George like you. Twice, that day of declaration was read to cheering crowds and angelic ringing of church bells. Now we’re going to show you what 200 million angry Americans can do.

We’re coming to rescue our constitution. Check where you’re standing. Because you’re on the second story of a vacant lot. You’re going down!!

And you WILL cry !

[If your heartaches seem to hang around too long
And your blues keep getting bluer with each song
Well now, remember sunshine can be found
Behind a cloudy sky
So let your hair down and go right on and cry.]

Couldn't have said it better...
I totally feel your detestation. I can't look at his chimplike face or hear his voice without filling with rage and hate, and I'm the most even-tempered, hate-free person I know. My feelings for him take me totally out of myself.




[Yes, you could'nt have said it any NUttier than DUmmie Justice Is Comin. Welcome to his Rubber Room.]

Never have I been so sickened by any past leader, ever, nor thought these days would ever come. Then again, * has made everything so surreal, so... right out of a fictional movie. Our worse nightmares are now real.

[Your nightmares are only about to BEGIN. Welcome to the Perfect Rovian Storm!]

They know justice is coming and I hope they all cry. They can cry as long as they want, as long as it's in a jail cell.

[You'll be crying bigtime in 2008 when you finally realize that Karl Rove put in the fix to make Hillary your nominee. Hee! Hee!]

Hope all of you are right - hope justice is coming. The world can't wait much longer.

[Don't worry. Lucy WON'T be pulling the football away the next time. Go ahead and give it a kick. Hee! Hee!]

God,(if you're out there)Please bless America one more time!

[LOL! A fervent DUmmie prayer to God... but only if He is out there.]

I want to see these neocon jerks *cry*! And not just Alito's wife. I have been alarmed by these people since Limbaugh came along & started turning conservatives into mindless, hateful sheep. This bunch has frustrated me & made me cry like no other. I want to turn the tables. I want them to suffer like I have. This is my punishment to them. I have no desire to turn fascist & put them into camps or whatever. I just want them to feel like I have felt. That is punishment enough.

[So Rush Limbaugh has made you suffer by spotlighting over the years your stupidity and now you want us to be punished by feeling the same pain as you. That would require that we be as STUPID as you in the first place to feel that pain so it WON'T be happening. Oh, and THANK YOU Rush Limbaugh for causing such angst among the DUmmies and the Liberals over the years.]

The frustration from this administration feels like a slow death.

[However, your brain cells are dying a quick death.]

Will Laura Bush cry on cue during the impeachment hearings?

[Yes, she will cry a few tears of sympathy at the impeachment hearings of Jay Rockefeller for leaking top secret information that has harmed the national security.]

There is not enough space in my body for the hatred I have towards *.

[And a MERRY FITZMAS to you!]

2006 will be a repeat of 2002. 2008 will echo 2004 and 2000. We're F*CKED. If the USA needs a revolution, who's going to fight it? The DEMOCRATS??? Puh-leez-a.

[Give up...NOW!!!]

Bush is only a few steps from an uprising against him. The part of me that loves suspense and craves righteous vigilantism actually hopes for Bush to take those final few steps. Come on Bush... CROSS THIS LINE. And then see what we're going to do to you.

[Methinks you already did CROSS THIS LINE...into the realm of the irrational.]

Man, I so want to be there for the revolution.
But I have an appointment with my dentist that day. Damnit. Could somebody revolutionize for me?

[DUmmie Justice Is Comin will be happy to revolutionize for you..from the 'puter keyboard deep in the darkness of his parents' basement.]

Oh How I Wish This Could Be Printed In An Editorial, Or
nailed on the door of the White House, and the halls of Congress!

[Oh How I Wish This Could Be Printed In An Editorial, Or nailed on the doors of the Emergency Room, and the halls of the Mental Health Clinic!]

BUT, what if there really IS a revolution and not enough of us come??? Can WE,THE PEOPLE,decide to keep at bay the lilly-livered politicians, starting with the so-called democrats??? PUHLEEZE???????????????

[PUHLEEZE??????????????? Can we confine our Bolshevik Revolution to just flat out nutcases like ourselves? PUHLEEZE???????????????]

I'm not so sure. Do psychopaths or sociopaths cry?

[Based on what I've read on this NUttie thread, the answer is YES.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-17-06 ("The New Fascism"---Pied Piper Pitt)

Here is the latest blast of Hot Air from DUmmie Temporary SockPu...uh, I mean Pied Piper Pitt. This bloated heat wave emanating from his mouth is pretty much his standard Apocalyptic routine mixed in with a strange feeling of a Swan Song. It is almost as if Pitt is bidding farewell in his current incarnation before Dark Forces conspire to prevent him from fulfilling his "destiny." It is the dark foreboding tone of Pitt's latest overblown treatise that ends up saying really NOTHING that distinguishes this missive from his usual bilge. Is Pitt, perhaps, planning on a trip for the next 3 to 5 years with time off for good behavior such as not boring the hell out of everybody around him? In any event, Pitt's latest tome, THE NEW FASCISM is like a huge wedding cake. Heavy on empty calories but little of actual nutritional substance. Note that Pitt rambles on about feelings of impending fascism while presenting absolutely NO EVIDENCE to make his case. See, it is all about FEELINGS! And speaking of feelings, I have a feeling that Pitt will soon be mercifully taking his leave of us for a long time on a journey of unfulfilled destiny. Sorry Pitt but it looks like the Triumph of the Will is just not in the cards for you. The good news is that you will probably be allowed visitations by your pal, Scott Ritter so you can compare notes about previous conquests. As usual, the Pitt bloviations and the ramblings of his DUmmie groupies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if Pitt would like me to include a hacksaw in the over-caloried cake I will be sending him, is in the [brackets]:

The New Fascism

[Yeah, yeah. We remember. It all started when we won the 1980 Olympic Hockey game against the Russkies where crazed nationalistic fans screamed "USA! USA! USA!" The event that launched the Third American Empire. Proceed with your overblown comedy routine, Pitt.]

The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew, and act anew. We must disenthrall ourselves, and then we shall save our country. - Abraham Lincoln

[Brevity is NOT the soul of Pitt. - William Shakespeare updated]

Say "fascism" to anyone you meet, and you will conjure images of coal-scuttle helmets, of Nazi bootheels clicking in terrible unison down Berlin streets during dark days that only a few remaining among the living remember. Each day, members of the generation which heard those heels for themselves go into the ground, taking with them whispered words of warning. I saw it for myself, they whisper before they pass. See this tattooed number? See this scar? It happened. It was real.

[Methinks the impending incarceration of a certain Blowhard will be attributed to The New Fascism.]

Say "fascism" to anyone you meet, and you will be greeted with the boilerplate response of the blithely overconfident: such a thing cannot happen here. This is the United States of America, land of the free and home of the brave. Ours is a nation of laws, of checks and balances, of righteousness and decency. Our laws and traditions stand as a bulwark against the rise of totalitarian madness. It cannot happen here. Thus we are indoctrinated into the school of our own assumed greatness.

[How about the Newton School of our own assumed overblown greatness?]

"We must disenthrall ourselves," said Abraham Lincoln, and so we must, because it can happen here. It is already happening. All the parroted recitations of grade school civics cannot erase the fact that a new order is rising. Call it "secret fascism" or "smiley-faced fascism." Call it a quiet dictatorship. Call it what you like, but it is here with us in America today, and it is growing.

[I wouldn't be mentioning "grade school" if I were, Pitt. In fact you might want to avoid that subject as much as possible for the near future.]

To be sure, there are no coal-scuttle helmets lined in ranks down our broad avenues, no Tonton Macoute savaging dissidents, no Khmer Rouge slaughtering intellectuals and herding citizens from cities to die by the millions on roads littered with skulls. The core strength of our new fascism is that it speaks softly. It does not present itself in such an obvious way that those who subsist on the dogmas of our greatness can point and say there, there it is, I see it.

[Groan! Perhaps your fact challenged bloatings can impress young schoolgirls but anybody with even a very modest knowledge of history has to laugh at your lack of understanding of that subject. The Tonton Macoute were basically a bunch of street thugs organized by Papa Doc Duvalier to enforce his corrupt rule, not some mass fascistic movement. And as for the Khmer Rouge---NEWS ALERT!!! They were COMMUNISTS! Maybe I should have placed your hyperbole in Khmer Rouge instead of Bolshevik Red.]

This new fascism is not fed only by lies, though to be sure the lies are there in preposterous abundance. This new fascism is fed by myths, our myths, the myths by which we rock ourselves to sleep. This new fascism is in truth an elemental fascism, reborn today by a confluence of events; the diligent work of the few, in combination with the passivity of the many, have brought forth this new order.

[Lies and myths. Pied Piper Pitt is subsconsciously presenting us with his upcoming legal defense. All those accusations against him will be denounced as LIES and MYTHS! Oh yeah, and The New Fascism Will be blamed on silencing a great progressive voice (who never EVER had ANY dealings at all with A.N.S.W.E.R. since he was hermetically sealed in a giant Body Condom to protect against infestation from those comrades).]

The writer Umberto Eco, in a 1995 essay titled "Ur-Fascism," delineated several core elements that have existed in one form or another in every fascist state in history: "Parliamentary democracy is by definition rotten, because it does not represent the voice of the people, which is that of the sublime leader. Doctrine outstrips reason, and science is always suspect. The national identity is provided by the nation's enemies. Argument is tantamount to treason. Perpetually at war, the state must govern with the instruments of fear. Citizens do not act; they play the supporting role of 'the people' in the grand opera that is the state."

[More Ur-Bullshitt from the bottomless Pitt.]

Take these one at a time.

[Is that what you said while handing out candy in the school yard?]

"Parliamentary democracy is by definition rotten, because it does not represent the voice of the people, which is that of the sublime leader."

[Thus spaketh the Sublime Leader of the PDA.]

George W. Bush has all but gelded Congress in recent months, attaching so-called "signing statements" to a variety of laws which state that the president may act beyond the laws whenever he so chooses. The United States, fashioned as a republic, has as its voice the congressional body. This is all but finished. To cement his victory over the parliamentary system, Bush has put forth one Samuel Alito for the Supreme Court, a man who believes in the ultimate power of the one leader over the many. The gelded congress does not appear able to keep this man from the high court, thus rendering the balancing branches of government into a satellite system of the Executive.

[YAWN! And can you CITE where Samuel Alito actually SAID or WROTE that he believes in the ultimate leader over the many? If such a document actually exists, I am sure that The Swimmer or Chuck the Shmuck would have brought it up at the confirmation hearings. And I would avoid the entire topic of "gelded" if I were you since MA courts might provide for chemical gelding in the case of certain heinous crimes.]

"Doctrine outstrips reason, and science is always suspect."

[BLAH-BLAH-BA-BLA-BA-BLAH!]

The supremacy of religious fundamentalism within and without government carries this banner before all others. What is reason in the face of the zealot's faith? Science has become a watered-down vessel for Intelligent Design, and the incontrovertible truths of empirical data are slapped aside. Spencer Tracy, in the film "Inherit the Wind," bellows the warning here: "Fanaticism and ignorance is forever busy, and needs feeding. And soon, your Honor, with banners flying and with drums beating we'll be marching backward, backward, through the glorious ages of that sixteenth century, when bigots burned the man who dared to bring enlightenment and intelligence to the human mind."

[I'm SO IMPRESSED by your ability to copy and paste IMDB movie quotes for "Inherit The Wind" that you found HERE. Oh, and I hate to burst your bubble but the REAL life, as opposed to REEL life, Spencer Tracy was actually VERY conservative politically.]

"The national identity is provided by the nation's enemies."

[BLAH-BLAH-BA-BLA-BA-BLAH!]

This has been with us for generations now. Our nation defined ourselves through a comparison to the Nazis, to the Imperial Japanese, and then through decades of comparison to Communism. Terrorism has supplanted all of these, hammered into place on a Tuesday in September by the actions of madmen. We are not them, all is justified in the struggle against them, and so we are defined.

[Of course, in DUmmieland, those "madmen" are defined as the EVIL Bush Regime.]

"Argument is tantamount to treason."

[BLAH-BLAH-BA-BLA-BA-BLAH!]

All one need do to see this in action is spend some hours with the Fox News channel. Freedom fries. Why do you hate America? You are with us or you are with the terrorists. Watch what you say.

[Watch what you say, especially when taking the stand in court.]

"Perpetually at war, the state must govern with the instruments of fear."

[BLAH-BLAH-BA-BLA-BA-BLAH!]

The manipulation of this population by fear has been ham-fisted, to be sure, but has also been cruelly effective. We do not want the evidence to be a mushroom cloud. Weapons of mass destruction and al Qaeda in Iraq. Nuclear designs in Iran. Plastic sheeting and duct tape. Orange alert. Argument becomes tantamount to treason simply because everyone has been made to feel fear at all times. A frightened populace is easily governed, and governs itself; this lesson was well-learned in the duck-and-cover days of the Cold War. Those lessons have been masterfully applied once again. Today, the citizenry polices itself, and the herd moves as one body. Even the surveillance of innocent citizens by the state is brushed off as a necessary evil. Remember: you are being watched.

[How about speaking about manipulation of the school age population?]

"Citizens do not act; they play the supporting role of 'the people' in the grand opera that is the state."

[BLAH-BLAH-BA-BLA-BA-BLAH!]

Once, we lived by the glorious simplicity of the vote. Casting a ballot was the single most patriotic duty a citizen could perform, an affirmation of all we held dear and true. Today, we live in the nation of the vanishing voter. Power has been so far removed from the people by those with money and influence that most see voting as a waste of time. Add to this the growing control of the implements of voting and vote-counting by partisan corporations, and the rule of We the People is left in ashes.

[Did you know that convicted felons are not allowed to vote?]

We must disenthrall ourselves from the idea that our institutions, our traditions, the barriers that protect us from absolute and authoritarian powers, cannot be broken down. They are being dismantled a brick at a time. It is a whispered fascism, not yet marching down your street or pounding upon your door in the dead of night. But it is here, and it is laying deep roots. We must listen beyond the whispered fascism of today to the shouted fascism of tomorrow. We must look beyond the lies and the myths, beyond the dogmas by which we sleep.

[The whispered fascism of today will lead to a whispering campaign against a certain former school teacher. And nice Freudian touch again with that mention of lies and myths. It should make for an interesting legal defense. And now on to your young impressionable DUmmie groupies...]

It can happen here.
It is already happening here.

[It already happened at the Newton School.]

It did happen. Unfortunately, that will only be clear in hindsight in 2010

[On the date of the perpetrator's release.]

Stop it Will! yer scarin me!

[That's what she said, according to court documents.]

Excellent, as always, Will. You've nailed it perfectly...keep on, friend. You're our Tom Paine, and we need you as we fight this monster...

["Nailed it perfectly?" Not quite according to some upcoming testimony.]

Will, sometimes you just have an amazing way of hitting the ball out of the park.

[As well as balling in the park.]

If Martin Luther were living today they wouldn't let the man speak.

[This space reserved for a Charles Henrickson insertion....]

Will... Check out http://www.thisiswiretap.com - both Leopold and Floyd are using it as a resource.

[Are you sure you don't mean Leopold and Loeb?]

I'm near to speechless. And Scared.

[That's what Pitt heard a lot in Newton.]

Personally, I can't phanton even dating one and have been fortunate that most love me for the proud manner I display in being a liberal.

[Pitt didn't have any problem dating one...or two or three or four or...]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-17-06 (DUmmies Crying Over Al Gore Speech)

The DUmmies are shedding emotional tears over Al Gore's speech yesterday as you can see in the tearful THREAD titled, "I'm crying -- it is about time that one of our leaders says what we all know and what we all have been saying for years." However, these are not exactly tears of joy the DUmmies are shedding. It is more like forlorn tears of sorrow over their "stolen" Election 2000 and many MANY might have beens IF Al Gore were president. However, cheer up, DUmmies. If you had read your own threads you would know that Al Gore IS president in the Alternate Universe. So let us now watch the DUmmies shed tears in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, whistling "Cry Me A River," is in the [brackets]:

I'm crying -- it is about time that one of our leaders says
what we all know and what we all have been saying for years.




[WAAAAAAAH!!! Pass me a hankie. It is so WUUUNDERFUL that one of our leaders is an NUttie as we are. SNIFF!]

It is such a relief to hear the words spoken in public, to hear someone call George W. Bush and his administration out for their crimes. I'm crying tears of relief and tears of pain.

[FUnnie but I'm laughing so hard at the Algore speech that I'm crying tears of LAUGHTER.]

This is where my nation has come, I hate them for destroying it. I want my nation back.

[Where have all the flowers gone? I hate them for destroying the flowers. I want my flowers back.]

Thank you Al Gore.

[And President Al Gore thanks you for your Butterfly Ballot vote from the Alternate Universe. Now let us check on all the other tearful DUmmies...]

This speech should be required listening
I am glad he is in a position now to speak the truth so brilliantly.

[I thought Algore could have used a touch more Dayglo orange makeup to give him that special space alien look.]

I am grateful that he is speaking the truth and speaking it so brillantly. Damn all of those that said he would not make a good president. Had he been given his win, had the supreme court not stolen his victory from him, our nation would be safer, our lives better.

[DAMN the Supreme Court for telling the Florida Supreme Court that they had to abide by the law.]

It should be required listening for every member of Congress and every judge and justice in the nation. Restore our democracy, restore our system of checks and balances.

[And every dog catcher in every city everywhere in the world.]

Agreed. If only every American was required to hear this speech. Imagine what a wonderful world it could be.

[Yes. If only every American could be entertained by the travelling Algore Comedy Show.]

Me too. Crying. Brave man. It's such a relief to hear the truth spoken. I know I've said before, but I love Al Gore.

[If you're lucky, Algore will stick his tongue down your throat on a public stage.]

I'm so proud of Al.. He's doing a fantastic job...

[Nobody can watch paint dry better than Algore.]

I need to hear a hardcore call to action.

[That sounds like a request for a porn DVD. How about "Mary Carey For Governor?"]

Many on DU have been giving hard core calls to action. It's sad to me that the Activist HQ forum is one of the least popular, based on number of posts.

[That's because the Activist HQ Forum actually requires WORK! < /maynard g. krebs>]

Great speech, Al Gore! Are our leaders listening?

[No more than our followers.]

He speaks for me.
He is so eloquent.
He is making me cry.
He is saying what needs to be said.

[He is cracking me up.]

Tears, here too. Sadness, pain, admiration, dare I hope?
We have to make this man President. NOW!

[And inaugurate President Algore THIS Jan. 20!]

I cry tears of relief and of fear. I want my nation back.

[I want my horsey!]

Wasn't it refreshing. To hear someone say in public, before a crowd, in front of a microphone and cameras, all that we have been saying.

[Including the LIHOP/MIHOP conspiracy theories?]

Want to really be alarmed? Imagine what HE (Gore) must know after being vice President for 8 years in comparison with what WE know...if we even know 1/10 of what dirty deals bushit has pulled I would be surprised.

[Imagine what Algore knows about the misuse of FBI files and the sale of missile technology to China in exchange for campaign cash. Oops! I forgot. Algore doesn't know about this since he drank so much ice tea he spent most of his term in office in the bathroom on a tea-tea break.]

We must help him be heard.

[I'm with you there. I, too, want Algore to be heard more for the great comedy material he provides to the DUmmie FUnnies (and may I put you on our PING List?). ]

I have no basis for thinking that but his remarks about protections for whistleblowers in the executive branch peaked my interest.

[Mine too. I was thinking about a certain whistleblower in the executive branch who wore a blue dress (covered with a bit of "mayo").]

Remember the blow up over Harriet, the Supreme that wasn't

[I remember better the blow up by Monica, the Cream that wasn't (until found on the Blue Dress).]

I think I read that even Fitzgerald was putting off Plame
until after the Alito hearings, could this just be coincidence

[Ah! Memories of Fitzmas Past that NEVER will be again no matter how much you wish.]

I don't think the Repugs want Roe overturned, it's their biggest campaign issue. If it's no longer an "issue", think of all the support and contributions they'll lose. They don't want to overturn such a huge cash cow.

[Then perhaps you should send a memo on this to Chuck the Shmuck so he can STFU.]

I would like to hope there is something big in the works
But after having thought that a gazillion times over the last three years I hate to say that it could just be wishful thinking on my part!

[I guess that constant landing on your back after trying to kick Lucy's football has finally knocked a bit of sense into your head.]

Oh, I can definitely relate to the wishful thinking fears. We have had so many "close calls", it is hard to get my hopes up. But I cannot give up hope.

[Another DUmmie Coyote is about to open an ACME Co. package again. BEEP! BEEP!]

I was lucky to be in DC to see and hear Al Gore. He was wonderful. He spoke the truth. I cried for what should have been, and I cried because of what we have become.

[Frustrated DUmmies providing great comedy material for the DUmmie FUnnies (may I put you on our PING List?)]

I have NO MORE TEARS to mourn the suffering unilaterally imposed by a rogue of greedy, power-mongering pricks. F*CK THEM!!!

Those neoconster HAVE NO PLACE IN OUR SOCIETY, IN OUR DEMOCRACY, IN OUR NATION!! They are 21st Century tyrants. They SHALL be removed!!!

Let's go get those bastards who DARE to STEAL our democracy through fraud and deceit and exploitation!

LET'S GO GET THOSE BASTARDS!!!!

[Or, better yet...LET'S GO GET THOSE MEDS!!!]

I can't cry anymore...I think that I've become so numbed lately with all that has been happening...I feel such outrage about the activities of this government and the Bush Cabal....But, I'm relieved and happy to hear that someone like Al Gore has the courage to stand up and call out these criminals....I want my nation back too....

[GOOD NEWS!!! John Kerry has your back!]

I can't stop crying sometimes. This admistration has ruined so much. I just want it to stop and I want my nation back.

[Cheer up! Al Gore is the president in the Alternate Universe. And you are just one Faux Hopi Indian Witch Doctor Prayer away from entering that Alternate Universe.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-16-06 (Sherlock Holmes: A Study In DUmmie)

Admit it. When you first started reading Sherlock Holmes books, you quickly fantasized that YOU were Sherlock Holmes using the supreme powers of deductive reasoning to solve cases. Elementary, my dear Watson! Well, with this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies you finally do have the opportunity to don your Sherlock Holmes caps and guess the identity of this DUmmie perpetrator from the clues laid out in this THREAD titled, "A Personal Decision." The Raskolnikov confession and the DUmmie chimings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, playing on his violin while ruminating on this case with Doctor Watson, is in the [brackets]:

A Personal Decision

[A "Personal Decision" by a DUmmie who is temporarily posting under the guise of "Temporary SockPuppet." Interesting. Let us allow DUmmie "Temporary SockPuppet" to reveal himself further, Watson...]

THis sockpuppet was created with explicit admin permission and will not be reused.

[Ah. Obviously "Temporary SockPuppet" is known to Skinner. The field narrows...]

I am fear’s hostage.

[Melodramatic writing style. Now who do we know in DUmmieland that writes like that, Watson? Perhaps I shall Stand Up Next to a Mountain while pondering this clue.]

Several years ago, I was wrongly and clandestinely accused of terrible things in two separate incidents. The action appears to have been motivated by petty maliciousness in one case and by fear and racism in the other. The rumors were discussed and believed by literally hundreds of people, including those in administrative and dominant social positions. I found out about both years or months later from people outside the organizations, as no one inside them bothered to confront, warn, or face up to me in person. Prior to this, I was one of the most universally respected persons, but since then I have been stained, and carry a legacy of disgrace. Upon visiting one organization after my direct involvement ended, I heard about the accusation there again from people much younger than me, indicating that when I and the others left, the story and the mark stayed.

[Hmmm...An organization filled with hundreds of people including much younger people who passed the story on to other young people year after year. A school perhaps?]

Though the accusations were never brought to legal ends, I fear that they carry the effect of multiple felony convictions. I believe that should I ever apply for a job that requires a thorough background check, run for public office, or make an enemy of any person, these rumors will spring out of my history, and because they are believed by so many people and I have no means to disprove them, be taken as fact. This won’t ever go away, no matter how old I live to be. It will follow me all the way to my grave.
I’m in a different town now, but I remain surrounded by people involved in both incidents. At any time, should I be recognized publicly, or should someone have a grudge against me, some of the very accusers themselves can step forward and instantly destroy my career prospects, social relationships, and most other aspects of my life beyond hope of repair.

[Our Raskolnikov reveals more. Obviously the incident occurred in a nearby community since the perpetrator is surrounded by people involved in the incidents. Also the suspect thinks he is on his way up and will be tarred by the accusations of the younger folks. Hmmm... The noose tightens, Watson.]

That this has happened and that I cannot escape it shames and angers me. I want to loosen its grip on me, and gain what measure of freedom from the terror and stigma I can.

[A confessional here. First our suspect claims that he "was wrongly and clandestinely accused of terrible things in two separate incidents" but now he confesses that "this has happened." And why be shamed by something that didn't happen? So our Raskolnikov basically admits it DID happen. Meanwhile our Raskolnikov is living in "terror and stigma." Such fear causes desperation such as posting this thread and revealing way too much.]

To that end, I am considering open disclosure and discussion of the incidents with the majority of my friends, so that among them I can move among them without such shame or secrecy. I see no means to eliminate the root problem, as it would require all the accusers, some of whom were never identified to me, to openly confess their falsehood, and for thousands of people all across this state to hear and believe them. I expect that if they hear about this, several of my friends will break contact with me, lose their faith in me, or no longer be trusting and genuine, and that I will not be able to tell with certainty which do and which do not.

[So our DUmmie Raskolnikov wants us to believe that ALL of the accusers were somehow wrong, yet he still feels shame over incidents that supposedly never happened. Delusional Self-denial. A DUmmie trait of which our Raskolnikov possesses in spades.]

I post this here in search of friendly advice and support.

[Our Raskolnikov has made a friendly error here since many of his fellow DUmmies will take us on a trail which can lead to his identity. I suggest we follow this DUmmie trail, Watson.]

Are you somebody we know? That might help.

[I believe you know our DUmmie Raskolnikov only too well and, yes, that would help.]

I think the whole point of the sockpuppet is to hide the identity.

[The specific identity is hidden but a certain bloated self-important writing style shines through.]

Yes, I get that but it sounds frankly egotistical, rather than advice-seeking.

[Egotistical. The field narrows even more...]

Actually, it reminds me of someone, but I won't say who.

[Could you give us a clue on the Next Day When Everything Finally Changed?]

Can you be a little more clear as to the nature of the accusations? Either way, if it is something that you know will come out eventuially, you are better off telling people your side of the story first.

[Confession is good for the DUmmie soul.]

This is just too vague.

[Not for Sherlock Holmes, DUmmie. The clues so far presented are like a roadmap leading to the doorstep of our DUmmie Raskolnikov.]

Bev? Is that you? Or is it someone else with an extremely vague axe to grind?

[Bev Harris is just $10 away from solving this case.]

Vague accusations, claims of victimization, clarity of writing style but not of thought, overwhelming paranoia...

[Except for the bit about "clarity of writing," you just described 99% of DUmmieland.]

Bev fits pretty well. But can a banned member have a sockpuppet? I don't know anyone else whose professional credentials have been sullied via DU. And I don't even know how "racism" fits with Bev since I have no idea what race she was.

[Bev Harris is just $10 away from having a foot race to your wallet.]

I didn't catch the "racism" in the OP; thanks for pointing it out. That could shoot my theory full of holes, couldn't it?

[Methinks the racism comment was thrown in by our Raskalnikov to throw us off his trail. Look for other such diversions.]

Or it could be a red herring.

[BINGO! And this DUmmie wins a Sherlock Holmes Kewpie Doll for having a very brief moment of deductive reasoning.]

This is better than Agatha Christie

[It ranks right up there with Fyodor Dostoevsky and Arthur Conan Doyle.]

I don't think it's Bev or CubanLiberal, neither one would be welcomed back

[Correct. Plus neither could get permission from Skinner to make a Temporary SockPuppet post.]

Just doesn't sound like Bev to me. Sounds too "local" to the physical location of the poster.

[Like a local bar with an angry bouncer?]

See a lawyer, be sure all statutes of limitations have run out
before you confess anything to anybody, if there are criminal accusations involved.

[From the clues thus far presented, I am deducing that the statutes of limitations have MANY years left to run.]

I'm not a lawyer, But I believe you can sue people for slander. Talk to a lawyer.

[Quite a few people in fact. According to our suspect, they are all somehow wrong but he is right even though he is feeling shame for incidents that supposedly never happened.]

OK, going on ZERO information, my question to you
Mr/s.Sockpuppet is this: What in the world could one possibly do that would incur these types of repercussions that could not be handled by a really good, meanassed lawyer? I normally suggest fighting back; clearing one's name. However, this post doesn't give enough information for anyone on this thread to give you decent advice.
Robbed a bank? Accused of rape? What? How can you ask for advice by saying, "I was accused of something?"

[Because this is more of a confessional than seeking advice. This could be preparatory to a PUBLIC revelation in the vain hope that our Raskolnikov could continue with his very public life.]

I have never seen Skinner allow something like this either
I haven't a clue in the world.

[You and 99% of the other DUmmies.]

So have you asked the gang over at FR?
Or are they lurking here waiting to see what we would say?

[Have no fear. This case will be featured on the DUmmie FUnnies.]

Without knowing all the information it is hard to give any kind of advice on what you should do. It also depends on to what extent the accusations against you were. You might think they are worse than they actually are. If it is something such as you stealing the money from the Boy scout troop at your church and 100s of people know about it, I doubt it will destroy your life. Or if you are the one who sold the brown acid at Woodstock, I'm sure people will get over it. Now, if you are Mark David Chapman or Charlie Manson, I have a feeling it might be a little harder to get people trusting you enough for you to make them a cheesecake. Can it really be that bad?

[Perhaps you should ask Scott Ritter that question.]

Asking for personal advice without any real information invites cynicism and suspicion. For future reference.

[Oh, there is more than enough real information (and disinformation) for Sherlock Holmes.]

What face value? That post is 95% gibberish.

[Gibberish as are at least 95% of what I suspect are 95% of our suspect's other writings are. Howevever, never fear. The Truth Will Out.]

Time to come clean. Or get the f*ck out, and stop
annoying us with your vagueness and drama-queenzation. Put up or shut up. It's time.

[Uh-Oh. This isn't what our DUmmie Raskolnikov expected. Hostility from fellow DUmmies.]

Thank you. It might be paranoia. I really hope I'm making far more of this than I actually should, but I've heard about it from so many people in so many places that I think it's spread all around the community and will come back to haunt me.

[DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet nervously chimes in again leaving more clues. Obviously the "rumors" about him (or her but I suspect "him") are already out there. Methinks this could be causing a severe drinking problem for our Temporary SockPuppet as well as loss of sleep.]

Look at it this way...
If you've heard it from so many people in so many places, it can't come "back" to haunt you - it's there. It will haunt you if you let it - come clean with your friends about what happened. Your true friends will not abandon you. As for business/career/political aspirations and slander of your name - talk to a lawyer. You might find it's much ado about nothing.

[Or much ado about something.]

Hey, look...maybe it is, but so what?
Kick it out there and deal with it. Would you rather try to stuff it into hiding, in the past, then have that shit come back and bite you? Check the prophetic headlines if you need validation as to your answer. Fear...the biggest problem in this country and with our politics. So afraid...so afraid of what someone else will say/show about "me" or my campaign. F*ck that. Grab it by it's handle, pull the damn pin, and lob it in the middle of discussion. Then, when they come at you, be ready. Smack 'em down if you can, take your medicine if you must.

[That medicine is giving me an uneasy feeling in the Pitt of my stomach.]

My suggestion is to talk this out with a therapist. They must keep your information confidential and perhaps can help you with the decision to tell your friends what you have been accused and found guilty of in the court of public/private gossip.

[Or better yet, talk this out with a bartender.]

By the way, does this have to do with your own family? That's how I seem to see it. Families are very tough sometimes!

[I understand that Scott Ritter's family wasn't too happy with him.]

My family doesn't know.
And I don't know whether or not they would believe me. We're not close.

[ANOTHER clue by DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet. Hmmmm.... I suspect that his parents divorced when he was young. Most likely his father lives in another region of the country. Just thinking out loud here as the forces of deductive reasoning proceeds...]

There are a lot of people here, and some have probably
Been in this situation themselves. I don't personally know someone who is an expert on this, so I'm posting it here and seeing what the Lounge knows.

[More Temporary SockPuppet self-confessional. Hmmm... Would Scott Ritter be an "expert on this?" You wouldn't happen to personally know him, would you? Hmmm....]

Sorry, I stripped out too many details. More: I was accused of physically assaulting vulnerable people. Yes, I do post here, and no, I don't want you to know who I am. Come now, aren't Democrats just friendly people? In seriousness, I'm doing this because I'd like to draw from the experience of this community to see if I'm just being completely insane by thinking that it might help me to bring this up with people now.

EDIT: THAT'S ASSAULTING AND HARASSING vulnerable people.

[Thank you for the WEALTH of clues, DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet. Assaulting vulnerable people. Hmmm... And the mention of young people earlier. Forgive me, my dear Watson, if I hastily surmise that our suspect is referring to students. Specifically private school students. And thanx to the edit, we now know that our suspect is probably still harrassing the students in an attempt to cover up what he claims wasn't a crime.]

Did you assault them?

[Confess, DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet.]

No, but some apparently said I did.
Nothing was brought to me. I found out about it when other people confronted me, and some of the alleged victims were never identified to me.

[Hmmm.... So all the vulnerable young people were wrong and only Temporary SockPuppet is right. What's the name of that river in Egypt?]

So what are you hoping to accomplish
with this thread?

[Melodrama I suspect.]

I'm here to ask people who have dealt with something similar
If trying to confront it at this point (years after the fact) is a bad idea and I should just let it drop.

[I could be wrong but I think the nature of these charges will HAUNT you forever.]

Do you still have contact with any of them?

[Inquiring minds want to know.]

I live very near some of them, and moving isn't an option. I pass them on the sidewalk sometimes.

[It sounds like you live in an urban area with a pedestrian friendly environment. I bet it isn't tough to walk to your neighborhood bar to drown your sorrows. More useful clues unwittingly provided us by Temporary SockPuppet.]

Can the vulnerable people in question speak on your behalf?
If they can be witnesses to your innocence it may go a long way toward restoring your good name.

[Yes. At least ONE of the "vulnerable people" should be willing to speak on behalf of his innocence.]

I don't think they would.
It would expose them as liars, and open them to defamation lawsuits.

[According to DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet, everybody involved in this case is a liar...except for him.]

You might try to find out if they might, if you promised not to sue. Were they pressured into making the claims? If so, that can be pointed out to reduce the damage to their reputations.

[Some EVIL Freeper is forcing them to sue. Or perhaps it is Karl Rove?]

I don't know if any of them were pressured.
I know that the most damaging one was not.

[So the most damaging accusation was NOT made under pressure. Thanx for just hurting your own case, DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet.]

Did you? If so, why? If not, why are you being accused as such?

[Uh, maybe because he is...GUILTY?]

No, I didn't. Because I'm different, and because they can get away with it.

[Boo! Hoo! They are ALL attacking me because I'm "different." Are you as different as a Midnight Cowboy wearing all black in the hot Texas sun?]

Then why post this? Just to stir up trouble and/or drama? Why not give us a chance rather than jerk us around?

[Answer the question, DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet.]

It's too easy to find me from my regular username.
And I know several DU'ers.

[Aha! More clues. Obviously a well-known DUmmie who personally knows several DUmmies in person. The noose tightens...]

Well I don't really know how to solve a real life whisper campaign. Especially when the accusations are as apparently severe as they are. If the charges are false and you have evidence of that, present it. If they're true, I can't help you.

[Then I guess you can't help him.]

It's my word against the alleged victims. Guess who's winning?

[The "alleged victims." Let's see. It is the word of MANY young people against you. Guess who is going to believed.]

I'm still not sure what you're looking for in this thread
Advice? Support? A scene? I know if the admins approved this you must be in pretty good standing and you seem like a good sport to put up with all the nonsense so far in this thread, but I still am not seeing what you gain from this conversation.

[An anonymous pre-confessional to guage the mood prior to his phony public confessional?]

Some people here have dealt with similar situations,
And some have gone in both directions with it. I'm seeing what happened to them, and whether or not bringing this up with my friends is a bad idea. How can I be a bad sport when I'm not even telling people who I am, and some of them are being really nice to me anyway?

[Not telling people who you are? You may not realize this but you have already provided us with an accurate roadmap (with a few brief Pittstops) leading to your door.]

You said this had nothing to do with DU. Do these people post on DU as well? If not, then I cannot see where you would have anything to worry about. I read another post of yours that said you love to speak. Take this with you: Was Bill Clinton afraid to stand in front of those who accused him and open his mouth? Live your life. My father once told me. They can take everything from you but they cannot take your life.

[Perhaps DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet is getting more and more in the public eye and is scared about his career when the revelations out but let us hear from him...]

Well, some of them are pissed off liberals, So maybe. Chances are good that someone who knows them does.

[Hmmm... More clues. It sounds like DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet is feuding with some fellow leftists.]

It may be easier than you think to find you from your sock puppet name. As several people have pointed out, you have got to be pretty highly respected by the administrators of this board if they have allowed you to openly violate a rule that others have been warned and even banned for in order to post a very vague summary of a personal situation. While vague, though, there are also details throughout this thread, not to mention your writing style, that make it easy to compare you to specific DUers under their regular user names. The thought that this would be a truly anonymous way to talk about yourself and your personal crisis may not have been grounded in reality. I assume you don't want a public guessing game to begin over your "true" identity, though I have a good guess. That said, I respect our rules on civility here very much, so I don't post things that are intended to be malicious and hurtful to other DUers. Ever. Again, good luck to you. It does seem clear that you have some difficult challenges ahead. I sincerely hope you are able to work through them with a positive outcome. Above all else, be strong. Take responsibility for whatever you have done and do not behave like a victim, or ask others to see you as one. A strong and positive offense is better than a weak and petulant defense every time.

[I, too, have a guess as to the true identity of DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet based in part on the bloated self-important writing style as well as other clues. Although I can't quite put my finger on his name, I can feel the answer somewhere in the Pitt of my stomach.]

I don't know who you are, but if you are Michael Jackson, please PM me. I have song lyrics you would sound great singing. I like your music a lot, genius, but maybe stay away from children so you can't be accused any more. Enjoy your life. I'm an adult who likes to play games and have fun too. I was never allowed to be a kid when I was a kid. I was always expected to be responsible and act right, whatever that means. Very strict upbringing. I can relate. Your music is great, btw. My favorite is still a toss up between Thriller and the Free Willy theme song.

[Or a Free Will theme song.]

What Alcoholics (and the many thousands of others who have practiced the 12 steps for one reason or another) mostly find is what they thought was a deep dark secret was known by their friends and families all along, only their fear had kept them in a prison of their own making.

[Could our suspect also be an alcoholic? Something to ponder.]

Look, I don't know the specifics. I'm going to guess that you're accused of sexual assault, either against children or others who can't easily defend themselves (perhaps disabled, mentally or otherwise). I can't think of anything else that would carry such stigma.

[Your Kewpie Doll is in the mail.]

Assuming the worst seems to be what most people did.
My fear is everyone I know and everyone who might employ me assuming it's true because it's sordid.

[A sordid accusation made by many young people against our suspect. Yet I suspect that our suspect is NOT a priest although he has a preference for wearing black.]

Unless you're Bill Clinton or Michael Jackson, not everyone on the planet has heard of you. I'm sure there are places where you could "start over." Otherwise, you're just going to have to bite the bullet and stare down your accusers where you live.

[Trust me. Everyone in DUmmieland (and DUFU readers) has heard of this suspect. And, no, there are no places on this planet, not even Alabama, where he could "start over."]

Why not open disclosure here? In thinking on this, not too many
people really know each other here, what would be the harm? My name in real life isn't REALLY MrsGrumpy...so therefore, when in trouble, I post about it here, as MrsGrumpy, when I am searching for advice. Just a thought. I'd feel freer to wade in if this wasn't so shrouded.

[Perhaps because DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet doesn't want to become MrsBusted.]

It's very easy to find me from my real username.

[Perhaps because only your middle name is missing from your username, DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet? More clues...]

I don't mean for this to sound callous, but if this situation is about what I think it is--you are going to have to work in a different employment field in an entirely new state. I'm sorry you got so burned here, and it probably wasn't your fault at all, and there are ways for you to rebuild your life from this. If I were you, I would accept that soon, and get to work rebuilding. But legal professionals are the best people to advise you about how best to do that, not DU.

[Unfortunately, DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet would also have to become completely anonymous and stay away from the limelight. Conditions that I suspect are completely INTOLERABLE for his bloated ego.]

I hope it's not that way, but I fear it might be. Liars suck.

[Sure, sure, DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet. They are ALL lying except for you. This doesn't sound like a case of He Said/He Said. It is more like a case of He Said/He Said and He Said and He Said and He Said and He Said and...]

Yeah. Racists suck, too. Again, you can PM me about this if you want.

[I think we can throw off the racist charge. That was just to throw us off the track.]

Thank you. I'll get in touch with a lawyer on Tuesday.
As for PMing, I don't know how long this sockpuppet will be around, and I'm reluctant to use my regular username. I'm either very sensible or extremely paranoid.

[Lawyers didn't help the accused priests much, DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet, but don't let that keep you from wasting your money on legal dead ends.]

Definitely do all you can with your lawyer
And get the best one you can. I work with vulnerable populations myself and know how damaging a false accusation can be. Fortunately I've never fallen prey to one myself, but I have seen others lives put through hell because of them. You need to do everything you can to get your name cleared so the record shows the truth, and the lies do not follow you around your entire career.

[FUnnie but I also worked with "vulnerable populations" myself for a few months as a substitute teacher. However, my conscience is clear. Hey, I even made a few extra bucks off the experience selling a humorous story about the job to a newspaper.]

Crap, I forgot what day it is. I should have waited until tomorrow.

[Yeah, DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet. Friday the 13th isn't exactly a great day to be posting such a confessional.]

I were you, I'd ask the admins who approved your sock puppet account and this thread itself to now ask mods to delete it. For your own good. It appears many here already have a good idea who you are, and your IP address can easily be matched to this account and your regular account, so I don't see the value in this whole faux subterfuge, anyway.

[Too late. It has already been chronicled in the DUmmie FUnnies. And I think we already do have a good idea of who DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet is although I still can't quite put my finger on his name. Perhaps a few shots of bourbon over at Bukowski's Will clear my mind and help me find the answer at the bottom of the Pitt.]

I am intrigued by this comment
"for thousands of people all across this state to hear and believe them" Literally thousands? Does that means thousands know about the accusations or thousands you'd have to disclose to?

[Please give us MORE clues, DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet.]

The rumors spread fast through big organizations
I think it's thousands, but in retrospect, there's about a 50% chance that I'm over blowing it. Definitely upward of 400, and they're dispersed.

[However, I bet you can quote those 400 accusers WORD FOR WORD of what they said years ago. That should be very helpful to you in court...until the judge throws out such testimony.]

Friend, Please Never Feel Disgrace At The Expense Of Others Wrongs. I can sense you are quite a decent person even from a short post. I am sorry this has been done to you but since it cannot be easily undone the best path is to first find the strength and conviction within yourself to look into your own eyes in the mirror and tell yourself that you know who you are, and no one can ever take that from you. Self-confidence, esteem and self-awareness are the foremost values you first need to have solidified before you tackle the rest. After that, you must trust that others who truly know you openly will only care about what they know and have seen from you, and will more than likely have sympathy for your situation rather than contempt towards you. You must trust in that. Those that turn and run, judge, or do not provide you with trust in your words are not too worthy of company to begin with. I acknowledge though that the risk of losing some of them may be hurtful, but time will heal that disappointment, as will the base of strength and conviction you built in yourself to always remind you that you are decent and worthy of respect. Never forget that.

[I can sense that DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet is so worried about his problems that he hasn't slept since April.]

I'm learning to value myself.
And this situation is one of my biggest obstacles.

[I suspect you have long been OVER-valuing yourself, DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet.]

I would advise, first of all, that YOU need to come to terms with what has happened to you. No matter how offensively you've been treated, you need to be able to look at the situation objectively. Counseling is one of the best tools available. Please consider it. Secondly, be sure to surround yourself with a community of love and support. A few close friends, relatives, people you know you can rely on. I suspect that you feel some affinity with DU - which is great - but it is no substitute for the kind of support you need in real life. Finally, if you're a person of faith (and even if you're not), you need to find a way to work on forgiveness. That doesn't mean you approve of what was done to you... it means letting go of the power people have over you. A community of faith or clergyperson should be able to help you on that path.

[A person of faith? Not a chance in DUmmieland unless you mean a follower of Astrology, Faux Hopi Indian Witch Doctors, or practitioners of Santeria.]

I've been burned by several of what I thought were loving communities. Before and after this. What you describe happening to you is the kind of thing I'm afraid of. I'm trying to do the best that I can, and I think that talking about this might make it easier to come to terms. As for professional counseling, I don't trust a counselor to not assume that I'm guilty, break confidentiality, and try to play hero by turning me in. But then, some of my counselors have been insensitive pricks. I brought it to DU because I figure that if there are this many people somewhere, some of them are bound to know something useful. The theory is holding. I've always been very forgiving up to a point. Beyond that, I haven't really been tested. Clergy have burned me too. It's a lot easier to maintain faith without a "faith community" full of some of the worst people I know.

[DUmmie Temporay SockPuppet revealing himself from the Pitt of his soul. And, WOW! This crime sounds so bad that he thinks even professional counselors might turn him in. Let me guess. His crime does NOT involve jaywalking.]

For a counselor to do that would be illegal
There are some very specific instances where counselors must report their clients' illegal acts, but there has to be more to it than "someone is saying that I did this awful thing."

[I am also guessing that this crime does not involve overdue library books.]

But if I make a confession, they're legally required to report it.
What if the counselor "mishears" me?Or, has seen people lie about offenses, and in his/her professional opinion, I'm lying?

[Yup! The crime in question is definitely NOT jaywalking nor overdue library books.]

Skip the counselor, go to the lawyer.

[Go Directly To Jail, Do Not Pass Go.]

Lawyer Tuesday, Counselor Wednesday. That's the plan.

[Don't forget Jail Thursday.]

It isn't wise to post even anonymously about anything that can result in multiple felony convictions. There's a big difference between being motivated by fear and being motivated by sensibility. By your own admission it sounds as though the rumors against you are serious and whether true or untrue, you face multiple accusers. By your own admission, you have two accounts on this site. One in which you post under your regular username and this one. Anything posted under either of those account names can be traced to your computer, your ISP, a work computer, and other computers to which you have access. Anything you've posted under either user name can be brought into evidence in a criminal matter, whether those posts go to character, fact patterns in the case or frame of mind. Anytime one has any possibility of charges pending, it is unwise to assume anonymity since you are really only anonymous to those of us who post here and not necessarily to law enforcement. While you may not have posted anything specifically incriminating, your posts can and do speak to frame of mind and other relevant aspects of discovery in any criminal proceeding. Beyond this, I really have nothing to offer you but felt you should take it into consideration. It may not be a good thing to say to a person so enveloped with fear, but getting advice on issues where criminal charges CAN OR MAY be pending should really be pursued with legal professionals, not with people on the internet. Besides which, you do realize people can research your writing style and your posts under your other name (and as you said elsewhere) and can take that information and harass you further. Frankly, this post was not a wise choice on your part not on the part of DU admin if criminal charges of a felony nature really are a possibility.

[But on the positive side, the suspect has never EVER had any personally dealings with A.N.S.W.E.R. so he is clear of those charges.]

I really don't know if there would be charges. I think if there were going to be, there already would have been. I knew the risk, but living with this over my head is killing me. This is my first step in getting out from under it. I (foolishly) didn't realize it would cause such a stir.

[Oh don't be so modest, DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet. It has already caused quite a stir in the DUmmie FUnnies.]

Hmmm... is this username an anagram that offers us any clues?
O pecker pump strap toy? A secret porky pump pot? Smart pete puppy crook?

[Or PiedPiperPuppet?]

Your true friends will love you and support you in the future.

[Especially IndianaGreen and the Ghost of Kephra Past.]

This person must be superpopular and cool to be able to get away with using a sockpuppet to elicit free legal advice with the sanction of the admins. Is it Will Pitt, using an intentionally poor writing style?

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! It can't possibly be Pied Piper PItt because his poor writing style is ALWAYS unintentional.]

WRITE A BOOK! It's a great way to clear your name AND make a few bucks!

[And have Scott Ritter be your coauthor!]

This thread is the absolute nadir of democraticunderground.com
in my experience. I request a public explanation by the admins in an open thread.

[I guess it is a matter of POV. To me this thread is the ZENITH of DUmmieland in my experience.]

Get plastic surgery, change your name, start a new career...
and move far, far away.

[Get rid of those earrings...and move OFF the planet.]

This is, bar none, the weirdest goddam thread I have ever seen. Puts Oscar in the shade.

[Ah, Pied Piper Pitt finally chimes in...officially. Strange to see you here, Pitt. Of course, this thread is weird to you because you would have absolutely NO interest in the travails of DUmmie Temporary SockPuppet.]

If you are innocent act like it. Stop hanging your head in fear and shame. If you were set up tell the world and name names.

[Those are mighty big IFs.]

Locking. This thread has gotten a bit off track....

[Not really. Methinks this track has led the railroad right to the doorstep of the perpetrator even though I have failed in my Sherlock Holmes guise since I still have no idea who it is...although I Will search for the answer in the Pitt of my stomach. However, as an addendum to this locked thread, let us look at this fascinating THREAD posted by none other than Pied Piper Pitt...]

the f*cking sock puppet still here?
If so, can I get a goddam explanation?

[Finally sobering up a bit, eh Pitt?]

Is this a rhetorical question? They never really leave do they? None of them.

[They never really do leave...especially after being featured in the DUmmie FUnnies.]

Well, when the f*cking is over, the sock instantly soaks up the mess...

[Will the sock instantly soak up the mess caused by spilt drinks at the Bukowski's bar counter!]

I saw that thread but didn't look at it...
What happened that's made everyone so pissed?

[Actually the ONLY one pissed is Pied Piper Pitt but I haven't any idea why.]

Locking. Please address all concerns about Democratic Underground to the owner of this site.

[SNIFF! Another locked thread. And I was having so much FUn watching Pitt sober up a bitt.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-13-06 ("If no filibuster I'm leaving the Democratic party")

I'm BACK in near record time with ANOTHER edition of the DUmmie FUnnies. The reason for the quick return is that I am SAVORING the DUmmie angst over their political ApocAlito as you can see in this THREAD titled, "If no filibuster I'm leaving the Democratic party." I must admit that the DUmmie meltdown over the confirmation of Judge Alito to the Supreme Court is WAY BEYOND anything I previously envisioned. It is making me look forward to peering into my DUmmie Ant Farm when at least two MORE Supreme Court Justices are named by Bush before his term of office is over in three years. So let us now view the empty DUmmie threats to leave the Democrats in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching the DUmmie troops march off the Armageddon Cliff, is in the [brackets]:

If no filibuster I'm leaving the Democratic party

[The Socialist Workers Party welcomes you!]

This is the last straw for me, I'll change to independent. Never thought I'd be writing this but I can't take anymore from these spineless Dems. No more campaign contributions from me. Screw them. I'm tired on the GOP making fools of the Dems they never learn!!!!!!!!!!

[Actually the Dems do a great job of making fools out of themselves. Oh, and your Dem Dime contributions will be sorely missed.]

I feel the same way. I'm ready to turn Green.

[I already see the warning signs of nausea. Try not to barf on your shoe.]

To leave the Democratic Party would be to give up. I won't give up.

[Why not? We own ALL your Diebold machines.]

Or Better Yet Start Another Party of Your Own. The Waaaaaaaaaaaa Party.

[aka Democrats.]

I understand your sentiment and I, too, get so angry and depressed I could sit down and weep, but here is where the fight is.
This country has to be saved, for us, our children, all three hundred million of us. Here is where the fight is.

[Instead of weeping, try doing something constructive like defacing a Diebold truck.]

It's either fight or go insane. And since I'm already nuts, I guess all that's left is to fight.

[Thank you for that accurate self-appraisal.]

Set-Backs Are One Thing... An Onslaught Of Disaster Is Completely different! I won't take up the time or space here to compile a list of corruption by those in power, but I will say that NOTHING has stopped them! Nothing is ever BIG ENOUGH to stick for very long. Month after month new stuff is revealed and here we sit, still in the same place, with the same crap and the same corrupt ones dishing it out! REV-O-LU-TION! That's the only thing that is going to stop it, but I doubt that will happen either. I'm a LOST SOUL!!!

[Getting tired of trying to kick the same football over and over again that Lucy keeps pulling away from you over and over again, eh?]

Why do you think the Dems would be justified in filibustering? I would like them to do it too, but I listened to all the hearings and all the things I have against Alito are assumptions. Without some concrete proof, how can you demand a filibuster?

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Democrats have a reason to filibuster.. because only the highest standards should be met before the Senate allows a vote on Alito. If these standards are not met, then Alito doesn't even deserve a vote. Only the best can demonstrate why they deserve any consideration of the Senate to serve on the highest court in the land!

[Oops! Then you better not pay any attention to what the ABA said about Alito's judicial standards.]

The issue is not Liberalism vs Conservatism. Jesus H Christ.
The issue is NOT political. It is Constitutional. You have NOT been paying attention!!!! This guy is an uber fascist not a conservative. he's about having it be ok to deny basic civil liberties. he's about suspending Government, shutting down Congressional oversight and authority and other Government agencies. He's on board with suspending the Constitution, and giving the President uber authority and powers during "WAR Time", which we are in a permanent state of. Please! get a freaking clue!!!

[In DUmmieland it's ALL about politics. Please! get a freaking clue!!!]

Most people view the dissent on Alito as politcal. The Dems just don't want another conservative on the court. That's actually TRUE, but it's not the reason we don't want Alito. I agree he's not what he appears to be, but I still don't think a filibuster will make any difference. The public will view the Dems as being obstructionists.

[Your Tombstoning ceremony will be commencing shortly.]

how about he lied and purjered himeslf!!..start there !!

[Ah! Wonderful Clinton nostalgia!]

If they don't filibuster, i'm leaving pda and registering independent.

[Leaving PDA? No more nightcaps with Pied Piper Pitt.]

My anger at people giving up the fight got the better of
me. I usually tell people to take a break, plant a garden, mentor a kid. I lost it! There will be a hell of a lot more losses to come before the chance at the 2006 election. And bullies count on that to tire out the people they want to shut up. I'm for a filibuster. Just not for people walking away and taking others with them.
The only way I think the GOP can win in 2006 is if they divide us.

[And the fact that we have pre-programmed the Diebold machines. Musn't forget about that.]

we knew on Nov. 4 2004 we were going to have at least two conservatives on the Court, and that's one reason why it hurt so badly.

[Try at least FOUR more conservatives on the court. We are only a year into this term with three left to ago. Plenty of time to replace liberal judges with more Scalitos.]

I have been a strong supporter but how much shit can one person take. What infuriates me most is watching the Repug time and again make our Dem representatives look like wimps who can't stand up to them. Oh how they must be laughing at us. Some times I just want to scream, let me have a shot at those bastards. God I can't stand their lying and left to get away with it!!!!!!!

[BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!]

sorry, I'm so angry right now don't really have a forward looking plan, need time to cool down, before I decide my next move.

[Cyanide swallowing.]

We need a "Counter-DLC" organization within the Democratic Party. Just like the DLC coopted the DNC earlier, we perhaps could unite behind another organization like them with true Democratic ideals which would use more force to counteract the DLC and DINO influence. I'd pour money into that before I'd pour money into the DNC. Maybe with an organization like that, Howard Dean can have more teeth to fend off these bums with. Perhaps something like the DPC (Democratic People's Council).

[Democratic People's Council? Yeah, that has a nice Bolshevik ring to it.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-13-06 ("SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT ALL DOWN NOW!!")

Please FORGIVE me, DUmmies! I have underestimated you. I thought that the impending Senate confirmation of Judge Alito to the Supreme Court would be merely a big disappointment to you. Little did I realize that his appointment would drive you COMPLETELY over the edge as can be seen in these two DUmmie Threads, SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT ALL DOWN NOW! and Filibuster, Goddammit!! It is time to have some cojones! I guess even the DUmmies now realize that the Senate Blowhard Democrats have run out of steam as the Alito confirmation is firmly on the track to the SCOTUS station. Of course, DUmmie rage will rise to even higher levels when they find out that there will be NO filibuster. So thanx to all you DUmmies out there for providing us Supreme comedic entertainment in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, anticipating even MORE DUmmie explosions when they find out that Bush gets to pick a couple more Justices down the road, is in the [brackets]:

SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT ALL DOWN NOW!!

[As long as you promise not to SHUT UP! Mental Meltdown threads like this are the BEST and are extremely helpful in my bid for the DUmmie FUnnies to be nominated in the Bloggies Awards.]

No more f*cking around with the Repukes. They are capitulating in the fascist transformation of this country. It's time to do what the Repukes did in 95.

[You're going to slow down the increase of government spending and institute programs that achieve economic progress?]

The Repukes are in dereliction of their duty and it's time to take the ball out of their hands.... literally.

[Or illiterally.]

Shut it down. Shut it all DOWN!!

[We regret to inform you that your Porta-Potty has been SHUT DOWN!]

FILIBUSTER FILIBUSTER! FILIBUSTER!

[And when that does NOT happen you will go CRAZY CRAZY! CRAZY!]

DAMN STRAIGHT!! Alito is that line in the sand. Alito is the straw that broke the camel's back.

[Alito is the straw that broke the DUmmies' back.]

I totally agree. It's time to draw the line in the sand!!

[CONNECT THE DOTS!!!]

capitulating in the fascist transformation?????
It is right dead in our faces and has been for some time now. We are in the grip! Personally, I don't think that they even care that we know...not anymore.

[Naw! You knowing that you are in the grip of the fascist transformation is just fine with us as long as you continue to provide this incredible comedy material.]

Shutting it all down is the only way to stop these fascists
The way some posters there think that there is a logical or rational solution to stopping nominees or ending the war or convicting Bushco of war crimes, like there is a functioning system in place to do this. That if we just filed the right lawsuit in the right place it would solve all of our problems.

[Perhaps you could sue Bush and Alito for causing you extreme mental distress.]

But we know better - and we know that being careful isn't going to get us anywhere. Most people are much more comfortable sitting at home writing letters to their reps or the newspaper, signing online petitions and voting in MSNBC polls, and believing that it will affect change.

[But wasn't that what DUAC was all about? DUAC! DUAC!]

As for tactics, the only thing I think would work is mass protests/strikes. I don't mean 300,000 in DC on a Saturday afternoon (although I personally have a BLAST at those events!). I mean whole cities refusing to work, whole industries shutting down.

[Not One Damn Dime Day!]

Shut it down. Shut it all DOWN!!

[The oxygen supply to your brain cells?]

Maybe it's time to finally enact Project X!

[I prefer to enact Project X-Rated with Mary Carey.]

Exactly right!
All participants are switching to channel XXXXXXXXXXX at midnight. Jan XX and will receive encrypted detailed plans for the Project's initiation. Forward!

[Oh Goody! I finally get to watch an XXXXXXXXXXXX Rated channel on cable!]

While we wait for history to judge them...
They are working to control the history books.

[We own ALL your history books.]

We can get a much better nominee out of Bush if we reject this little fascist Alito.

[Harriet Miers?]

STOP THE WHOLE GOVT IF YOU HAVE TO
please for the love of everything decent stop this nazi!

[THROW YOURSELF IN FRONT OF A SPEEDING TRUCK...or Kampfwagen.]

Shut it DOWN! Stop the MADNESS!

[Judging from the DUmmie posts, the latter will be very difficult to achieve.]

Turn Out the F*cking Lights and go Home !!!!!!

[REFUSE TO REMOVE LINT FROM YOUR NAVEL!!!]

NO MORE FOLLOWING THE SCRIPT!
IT'S TIME TO THROW IT ALL OUT THE WINDOW! IT'S TIME TO AD LIB!!!

[IT'S AD LIB COMEDY TIME!!!]

Personally-- If ALito is confirmned-- I dont think we get another chance. NOt in '06. I think we are talking suspension of the Constitution, purges, prison camps for acitivists disruptors, more dissappearances.

[Blame DUmmie AtomicKitten for this. These are all planned retaliations in response to her defacement of a Diebold truck.]

Roberts was bad...This is the apocalypse. IT'S F*CKING TIME.

[New nickname: Apocalyptic Alito.]

It's NOW Or Never. It is high time for the OPPOSITION PARTY to start acting like it. SHUT THE BITCH DOWN!

[Apparently you are not fond of Hillary. And now on to the other DUmmie comedic thread, Filibuster, Goddammit!! It is time to have some cojones!]

Filibuster, Goddammit!! It is time to have some cojones!

[You can find them along with Kerry's in Mama T's lockbox.]

So filibuster, goddammit. Filibuster against Mr. 38%'s nominee, filibuster because Alito does not respect the rights of women, blacks, Hispanics, and he thinks we should have a King. Filibuster because the bastard lied to the Senate before and lied now. These are EASY concepts for Americans to understand. Filibuster and show the rest of the country that the Dems have a fighting spirit. And if we are wrong, and the public punishes us in November, which I really, really don't think is going to happen, well, we are losing now anyway. At least we will go down fighting. Let the republicans go nuclear - the public distrusts them they will distrust abuse of power even more. Push them into it - let them implode.

[Speaking of imploding...]

I don't think the republicans and the media
realize how angry we are. How fed up we are. How much they have awakened our will to fight. We MUST filibuster.

[Cheer up! The DUmmie FUnnies readers know how angry and FUnnie you are.]

We must draw the line now. Alito is a mealy mouthed imperialist
whose meanness toward the disabled is galling as is his treatment of women, minorities, children and aliens seeking asylum. He refused to strongly support ANY of our basic rights and would subvert the constitution. If the Democrats do not filibuster, they will lose what little respect they have.Right now, the Congress has a very low approval rating; both Republicans and Democrats are in the thirties. People want real leadership. If the Democrats can't fight this one, then they will loose big time and will deserve it.

[Yup! Democrats are "loosers."]

NOW IS THE TIME!! If not know, WHEN???

[The Day After Tomorrow when Global Warming kicks in.]

Shut the hole thing down!!!
Seriously, if we can't fight for something...let's not let them accomplish anything. Shut it down. No news is better than any news the Repugs will offer. Stonewall, cut the power, whatever it takes. I'm seeing red right now! Good God, can we not do anything to stop the madness?

[Shut it down! Hold your breath! Barf! Belch! Self-strangle! Constipate! Jump up and down! Run in place! STOP THE MADNESS!!!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-12-06 ("Were you more traumatized on 9/11/01 or 11/03/04?")

For the vast majority of NORMAL Americans, the answer to the following question is obvious: "Were you more traumatized on 9/11/01 or 11/03/04?" However, in DUmmieland the vast majority of the DUmmies (70%) believed Election Day 2004 to be much more traumatic as you can see in this THREAD of the same name. Yes, their petty little politics takes precedence over a terrorist attack on the USA. Of course, most DUmmies subscribe to either the LIHOP or MIHOP theories in which the EVIL Bush Regime was either an accomplice or active participant in the 9-11 attacks. So let us now watch the DUmmies whine about their "horrible" traumas in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, remembering the traumatized Susan Estrich taking solace in too many bottles of "victory" champagne on Election Night, is in the [brackets]:

Poll question: Were you more traumatized on 9/11/01 or 11/03/04?

[70% voted for 11/03/04 and only 20% voted for 9/11/01. These results are a big surprise but ONLY if you don't know the DUmmies.]

December 12, 2000. Worst day of all.

[When Algore tossed in the towel? Or when SCOTUS voted to uphold the law? Oh, so much worse than 9-11.]

my answer too. I went into shock then, haven't come out

[And have NEVER returned to reality.]

Ditto. December 12, 2000 was the worst day for America in ages. Appalling.

[Terrible. Terrible. I must console the poor victims of 12-12-02.]

After seeing the way they stole 2000, I had no doubt they would steal 2004. I had been expecting something like 911 for years, so it wasn't a shock to me at all, I was expecting worse.

[May I place you firmly into the MIHOP column?]

Actually for me it was Dec 9, 2000 that is when Scalia stayed the vote count - I remember exactly where I wss when I heard - I had just finished doing Christmas shopping at toys r us and I heard on the car radio that the pig had stayed the count. At that moment I knew it was over. My neighbor kept trying to convince me over the next few days that it wasn't over but and I kept telling her you wait and see they are giving this thing to the freak.

[It was like the JFK assassination. Everybody remembers exactly what they were doing on Dec. 9, 2000 when it was announced that Scalia stayed the vote count. It was just that tragic. A horrible memory frozen in our minds forever.]

same here. That date was the worst. But Sept. 11, 2001 was bad too.

[In DUmmieland, 9-11 was bad but not nearly as tragic as 11-03-04 or 12-12-00 or 12-09-00.]


As much as I mourn the deaths of innocent people on 9/11, nothing matches the disaster caused by the selection of 2000.

[I'm sure the 9-11 victims' families will be happy to hear that.]

On 9/11 I was in shock and it took me a long time to realize how bad it really was. I was also very worried about my family members in NYC but fortunately they were all OK.

On 11/03/04, I was still in shock, but I also was clinically depressed. I know what a clinical depression is cause I went through one about 10 years ago, and that's exactly how I felt the day after election day. I wore black, and I was not the only one. In fact I was at a meeting that day with 6 of my co-workers and we were ALL wearing black.

Different traumas, different responses,

[Of course different responses, DUmmie Plaid Adder. 11/03/04 was so traumatic it required the wearing of black but 9-11?...Naw!]

9/11. Maybe you had to be there.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

November 3. Because America was officially dead. I was deeply depressed for months.

[And your mind was numb for YEARS.]

I was shaken up after 9/11. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown after 11/3.

[You certainly have your DUmmie priorities in order.]

On 9/11, I thought we could overcome it. On Nov. 3, 2004...
I knew we were looking at devastating trouble that we may not overcome.

[We shall NOT overcome... We shall NOT overcome!]

I cried for WEEKS after 911,
I'm STILL crying over the 2000 election thievery.

[A 4 year sobfest over election 2000 vs only a few weeks of tears for 9-11. YUP! You certainly ARE a DUmmie.]

No contest, November 2004. People die all the time. It's not that often that a democracy bites the dust

[Your quick writeoff of the 9-11 deaths will certainly be appreciated by their families.]

Going out on a limb here...
Neither of the above--I'm going with the day Scalito is officially confirmed. The end of democracy as we knew it.

[Thanx for going out on a limb... Now would you kindly saw it off?]

It's like the difference between being beat up and raped.
You could be raped without being physically harmed, but the psychological damage would last a lot longer than the bruises and broken bones of the beating. 9/11 hurt far more emotionally, but what happened in the last two presidential elections will cause more long term damage to our country.

[So 9-11 was only liked being beat up while Election 2000 and 2004 was like being raped? Who mugged your mind?]

OMG. 50k people die on US roads every year. 911 was nothing compared to the 5th column attack on democracy itself, from right here within our own country, by our own fellow citizens. Not only that, they have succeeded with election theft several times, and with each passing 'election,' american democracy slips that much closer to death. You have allowed yourself to be whippped into a frenzy of fear against the Foreign Enemy, while you disregard much greater threats to the health of america and its citizens which are present around you every day.

[In DUmmieland the 9-11 deaths were a only a slight statistical blip.]

9-11 happened to other people, 11-3 happened to me directly.

[It's all about MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!]

i haven't been able to look at crowds of people in the same way since 11/3/04. couldn't believe they could STILL be that brain dead..........

[And your post proves that it is YOUR brain that is on life support.]

I was far more traumatized by 11/3/04
After four years of utter failure I thought the American people would have had enough and whomever the Dems put up would win in a landslide. It didn't happen and people fell for the swiftboaters (for which the response was too long in coming on the Democratic side). I became REALLY depressed. I so looked forward to that election, hoping that Bush would be like his daddy, a one termer. I have no hopes the American people will choose differently in 2006 or 2008. So what if we do...working class people do not control the voting machines.

[Cheer up! You can always futilely deface a Diebold truck as DUmmie AtomicKitten did.]

Like it or not, fair or not, threads like this are what lets people spread lies and propaganda about this site.

[Please forgive me for quoting you WORD FOR WORD in the DUmmie FUnnies.]

are you insane? Do you know what some people have gone through because of 9/11?? As someone who was directly affected by it, I take offense to the comparison. I was traumatized, and my life never recovered from it. I'm still dealing with the fall-out. I'd rather have a Republican president than another 9/11 any day.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

12/12/04 as well. but 11.03 more than 911 - and I was THERE!
Saw the towers fall with my own eyes - but didn't cry the way I did those other occasions.

[12/12/04??? What made you sob that day more than on 9-11? You didn't happen to have a sign that said something about "Count All 88"?]

'04 Was Worse

[Far, far worse...in the DUmmie Alternate Reality.]

What is wrong with you People? Didn't you see the planes crash into the towers? Didn't you see the pictures of Pentagon and the debris field in Pennsylvania? Those poor Pilots/ Flight Crews that were most likely sliced to death..
This poor innocent people who woke up thinking it was a beautiful day only to witness the end of their lives in a fire-ball? Did you look at all the faces of the Police and Firemen who rushed into the towers saving as many Americans only to be pulverize embedded into the concrete dust forever lost? Sickening that so many here feel the re-election was such a dark day in American history... Sad...sad...sad...

[Please send out invitations to your Tombstoning ceremony.]

Thanks for visiting. Enjoy your short stay!

[An aware DUmmie realizing that the previous poster is about to be Tombstoned for making entirely too much sense.]

11/03/04. Here we had a chance to evict the evil Bush Inc and what happened? Ugh, it makes me sick just thinking about it. Then we hear the reports on Diebold and voter intimidation. Needless to say, I couldn't think straight for weeks.

[NEWSFLASH!!! You STILL can't think straight.]

Funny thing is 9/11 didn't really phase me. I didn't cry or anything. It was like my subconscious was waiting for it to happen or something. But November 2nd, 2004 I stayed in bed most of the day crying and still crying now.

[You certainly have your DUmmie priorities straight.]

11-03-04. After the horror of Bush's fault in 9/11, I thought we had the chance to make it right, but the shock of election night now impacts generations to come...

[May I invite you to the MIHOP?]

The thing I regret most about 9/11 is how much damn power it gave Bush, how much he relies on it as a shield, how much the country went along with it for a while there. I live for the day when we are far enough away from it that it doesn't play such a role in our psyche in this country. Because of it, we fight a war against a concept. Like watching someone trying to fight air.

[You've certainly placed your finger on the TRUE tragedy of 9-11: It gave Bush too much power. Everything else is secondary...at least in the DUmmieland Alternate Reality.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-11-06 (DUmmie Diebold Defacer Dense DUnce Defense)

Please excuse my descent into blatant alliteration but, like DUmmie AtomicKitten, I just couldn't help it; it was beyond my control. Of course the BIG difference is that my offense was committed against the English language while the the offense of AtomicKitten is a CRIMINAL matter for which she will soon have to FACE justice. Here are the facts: At 10 P.M. on the night of January 9 somewhere in the San Francisco area, DUmmie AtomicKitten pulled into a grocery parking lot next to a Diebold truck. While waiting for her son to return from a quick errand in the store (of course video cameras recorded his entry), AtomicKitten noticed the truck next to her with "Diebold - We Won't Rest" written on the side. At that point, she pulled out a PERMANENT Magic Marker (keep that fact in mind, trial judge) and DEFACED the truck sign to read, "Diebold - We Steal Elections." DUmmie AtomicKitten was sooooo excited by her act of JUVENILE vandalism that she posted her exploit at 10:22 PM PST, less than half an hour after the crime was perpetrated. I suppose her haste was motivated by the fact that she expected to be HAILED in DUmmieland for her vandalism. However, much to her suprise, quite a few of the more rational DUmmies (who will soon be tombstoned) DENOUNCED her cheap criminal act. Suddenly DUmmie AtomicKitten changed her tune to one of nervous defensiveness. She expected us to believe that she ran a magic marker test on her own car to prove how easy it is to remove the markings. Of course, even if she did run such a test, she attempted the removal soon after making the marks which makes it much easier in stark contrast to the truck whose defacement was probably not discovered until the following day when the marker tint had dried. Then the desperate DUmmie AtomicKitten tried another last ditch defense by starting a new THREAD titled, "Poll question: Was this heinous vandalism or an act of civil disobedience?" Unbelievably DUmmie AtomicKitten wants to justify her crime by proving that it was merely civil disobedience as proclaimed by majority rule. Sorry, AtomicKitten, but you can't ease your conscience by polling. The fact is you have committed a cheap act of VANDALISM. Your guilty conscience has forced you to give many clues that will lead to your aprehension: Time of day, Diebold truck, Grocery store, etc.. It won't take long for an intrepid investigator in the San Francisco area to get in touch with Diebold, find out which truck was defaced, and then find out which grocery store it was at on January 9 at 10 PM. A quick review of the parking lot tape will REVEAL you in the act of DEFACEMENT. Such a tape will be played over and over again on the Web for our viewing pleasure. Even if there is no parking lot tape, there is definitely a tape of your son entering the grocery store at that time and by identifying his pic, the authories WILL track you down. Therefore I propose that you turn yourself in, DUmmie AtomicKitten, and avoid the humiliation of being hunted down like a trapped rat. You have until 6 PM on January 12 to turn yourself in to Diebold and offer to clean their fleet of trucks to make amends for your pathetic vandalism. If you do not do so, the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy Machine will be put into motion to track you down and see that you are frogwalked into the slammer. The pathetic defense of DUmmie AtomicKitten and her enablers are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, hoping that the San Francisco grocery store parking lot video camera was in good working order, is in the [brackets]:

Poll question: Was this heinous vandalism or an act of civil disobedience?

[Typical Democrat: Allowing matters of conscience to be decided by a poll.]

As advised by my attorney, gordontron, I am conducting a poll so I can get an accurate assessment of whether or not the browbeating I am getting is across-the-board or a simply a few vociferous critics.

[Gee! Why doesn't your attorney to advise you to do what is RIGHT rather than having the matter settled by pathetic polling?]

Refer to the thread here: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=2359734&mesg_id=2359734

[In which you confessed your juvenile act of vandalism, DUmmie AtomicKitten.]

* points to consider *

the writing is removable
it was juvenile
Diebold had it coming
vandalism (however temporary) is WRONG
opportunity knocked, I answered

[you are a complete idiot]

Thanks for your time.

[Thanks for the laughs. And I notice that even over a third of all DUmmies voted you as a vandal.]

No offense, but this seems like attention whoring.
You already have a post dedicated to this situation. Let the responses there speak for themselves.

[DUmmie AtomicKitten made the original post expecting to be hailed unanimously in DUmmieland as a heroine. When that didn't happen, she began her nervous backtracking. This thread is part of her pathetic self-justification phase.]

Assuming there was no permanent damage to the vehicle ...
... what harm was done? The truck is probably washed every night any way. Besides, this would make a GREAT court case (not that I'm hoping that happens). You were not vandalizing, you were simply correcting their advertising to reflect what they actually DO. Let Diebold prove to a judge and jury that the statement was false, ergo you had no right to 'correct it'.

[I would love to see that scenario happen just so DUmmie AtomicKitten's legal bill will mount into the THOUSANDS.]

I just keep my balls taped to a piece of paper on my desk. It's obvious you take yours with you where ever you go.

[Your balls are kept in a lockbox.]

This was an act of minor vandalism. Had it been my truck vandalized by a Freeper, it would have been Heinous Vandalism. (Oh yeah, and I don't own a truck.) That said, vandalism of the property of private individuals isn't civil disobedience. Civil Disobedience is generally understood as non-violent, pre-meditated, public disobedience of government to draw attention to a cause, with the expectation of, or desire for, arrest, in protest to government actions or policies. All the vandal did was risk a beating if caught by the truck owner.

[That can still happen. Right now there is an ANGRY Diebold truck driver out there who had to spend time cleaning AtomicKitten's poop off his truck. He knows which grocery store he was at on Jan. 9 at 10 PM. A visit to that store and a review of the parking lot or store videotape would soon lead the trail to AtomicKitten. If not, then the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy Machine will handle that task after 6 PM Thursday.]

If it was some freepers truck it would have been wrong, but since it was Diebold...please people do you really think minor vandalism compares to helping steal elections? look at it this was, AtomicKitten committed an act of civil disobedience (or vandalism if you like), but Diebold has vandalized our election process

[You're her attorney, DUmmie gordontron? With dopey advice like that you should be disbarred.]

Miss Kitty...you did write the truth on both sides of the vehicle I trust..ROFL..you go woman..

[You go girl! Continue doing juvenile acts of vandalism.]

Only the side that was about 6 inches from my face
Perhaps you can understand why it had to be done; it was taunting me.

[You were that close to the Hedgehog, DUmmie AtomicKitten? And "it" was taunting you?'

Why did you brag about it? I saw the post and said great, but why the confession?

[Basically because DUmmie AtomicKitten is STUPID. She has given out enough info for the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy Machine to track her down for her frogwalk.]

Vandalism entails destruction; the ink was not permanent, therefore, I did not commit vandalism. I defaced the logo, a temporary condition remedied by a vigorous car wash. I'm sure Diebold will get over it. Apparently some of you stuffy sorts may not. And we all will never get over the effects of what the likes of Diebold have done to this country. My point exactly. And I don't see how a 75%/25% split in opinion constitutes a "pretty even balance." Must be that fuzzy math we've heard about.

[You can get 99% aupport in that dopey poll, DUmmie AtomicKitten, but it won't keep the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy Machine from hunting you down and frogwalking you into the arms of justice. Your ONLY option now to spare yourself the humiliation is to turn yourself in to Diebold before 6 PM tomorrow.]

Well, if somebody vandalizes your car I hope you're as happy about it. Vandalism is vandalism. Writing on trucks with a marker doesn't qualify as civil disobedience...it's just juvenile (and criminal).

[A RATIONAL post so prepare for you immminent tombstoning.]

I defaced the car, a non-permanent alteration; my actions could be construed as juvenile (some found it amusing but I have no doubt you will attach the worst possible attribute). I did not vandalize the car which entails destruction; my actions were not criminal.

[You won't even have a chance to finish that line of defense before the judge slams his gavel down and pronounces you GUILTY!]

If somebody writes "Democrats are Liars" in magic marker on your hood, I hope you'll have have the same sense of humor about it. Actually, depending on your individual state laws, your action very well may have been criminal. Vandalism is a crime. It's usually legally defined as "Damaging, destroying or defacing any property that is not one's own".

[I already checked California case law. According to Marey Carey vs Ron Jeremy, such petty vandalism IS a crime.]

There is a distinct legal difference
Vandalism entails destruction. If I had scratched what I wrote into the car, that would have been vandalism. I used the word "deface" in my OP because I altered the logo, but it was not permanent. I actually called my buddy in the SF police and inquired because of all you knuckleheads here, and it is just as I have said. Get over it. Seriously, some of you people at DU have absolutely no sense of humor. It's like you think you know everything about everything; you don't. It's like you choose up imaginary sides just to argue issues, inevitably going off on a tangent that is based on bullshit at best and usually nothing.

[Your buddy on the SF police department is now pissed off at you, DUmmie AtomicKitten, for getting him involved in the coverup of your crime.]

Regardless of what your friend may have told you, it's a crime in California (and everyplace else as far as I know).

[And California does NOT look kindly on grafitti at all.]

You can climb down off your high horse now. You clearly are incapable of grasping the levity of this, and as much as you try to inflict accusations of a crime being committed, the only crime here is your appalling lack of a sense of humor.

[AHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yes, I know I committed a crime but since it was done in the spirit of levity, that makes it okay. Tee! Hee!]

Aaarrrgggh. I told you. I called the SF police.
OK? I live in SF. As much as you would love to see me arrested, it ain't gonna happen. Get over it.

[Your arrest won't happen but only IF you turn yourself in to Diebold before 6 PM tomorrow.]

I have no interest in having you arrested, I've just seen posts where you accused people of being "retarded" for suggesting that you broke the law. Perhaps the label has been misplaced. According to California Penal Code Section 594, you DID break the law. Despite your claims that the SFPD feel otherwise, the link to the code has been posted and your action was a clear violation. This has nothing to do with turning a "light-hearted thread" into anything. It has to do with your need to create TWO posts bragging about the incident and insulting anybody who didn't congratulate you. Wanna talk about "get a life"?

[This is Joe Friday. You are in violation of California Penal Code Section 594. Care to fill us in as to who your accomplices were? And just the facts, ma'am.]

The illegality of vandalizing a truck aside, there are people here who don't find the practice of defacing other people's property funny. It doesn't mean that they have no sense of humor, that they don't have a life or that they're not warm and open-minded. It means that they don't feel vandalism is an appropriate way to express your feelings about Diebold.

[KILLJOY!]

I'm an adult, well-educated woman living in SF. But it just happened like any other normal natural sequence of events. It was almost as if I couldn't not do it, like I was putting something back into place. Very strange experience.

[DUmmie AtomicKitten using the space/time continuum defense. Even the California New Agers won't be buying into that spaced out defense.]

You clearly have need for attention..... If it wasn't a big deal(to you at least) to begin with, why the poll to validate yourself?

[Please, PLEASE validate my crime!]

Just curious...what the reaction would be if some freeper asshole used a marker (temporary or otherwise) to "engage in civil disobedience" on the side of a Sara Lee truck...or a Costco truck...hmmm...I wonder how that would play out....

[Fascist rightwing Freeper engages in crude act of political thuggery. Congressional investigation DEMANDED!!!]

It was vandalism...
It was not your property. Would you want that done to your property? You said your son was with you, are you sure that's the lesson you want to teach him?

[Hey Sonny Boy! Watch as your Mumsy commits a juvenile act of pathetic vandalism. I hope you take after me someday.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-11-06 ("I just defaced a Diebold truck")

The beautiful thing about the DUmmie RAGE against the Diebold voting machines is that it drains away their energy from perhaps committing other nefarious activities. Yes, DUmmies, continue to OBSESS over elections being stolen from you by the Diebold machines. Pay NO ATTENTION to actually organizing political campaigns since you KNOW in advance that you will lose due to those nasty Diebold machines. Of course, a visitor from another planet would conclude that the DUmmies have ALWAYS been opposed to Diebold machines but the fact is that right after the 2000 election, DUmmies and their liberal cohorts were on the front lines of those screeching for getting rid of paper ballots in favor of electronic voting such as with the Diebold machines. Then, after LOSING the 2002 elections and then again in 2004, the DUmmies had to find a scapegoat to blame for their losses since they couldn't come around to face the REALITY that the voters REJECTED them. Thus we now have the situation where Diebold has become their convenient scapegoat. And the DUmmie RAGE against Diebold can be seen in this THREAD titled, "I just defaced a Diebold truck." So sit back and savor the DUmmie RAGE against Diebold in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who has just finished programming another Diebold machine to vote the "right" way, is in the [brackets]:

I just defaced a Diebold truck.

[Today a Diebold truck; tomorrow...THE WORLD!!!]

I couldn't help it; it was beyond my control. I pulled into a grocery store parking lot. It was 10:00 P.M. and my son ran in. Next to me was parked a white truck with "Diebold - We Won't Rest" written on the side. There was nothing I could do. I reached into the glove box and pulled out a fattie black Magic Marker. The truck now reads "Diebold - We Steal Elections."

["DUmmies - We Lose Elections."]

My partner and I flipped off 2 guys in a Halliburton truck yesterday. If only it had been parked!

[If only it had beens parked, the 2 Halliburton guys would have beaten the crap out of you.]

Congratulations. I feel the karma gods approve.
May good fortune reward your good deed! This post is inspiring me to place a large sharpie in my car... just in case. Kudos to you, madam.

[Beware the Karmatic Kickback against DUmmie AtomicKitten in the form of an impending arrest.]

Illegal,Juvenile and probably a little stupid....
but I'm still glad you did it

[Your support of an illegal, juvenile, and stupid act is quite touching.]

the question is not vandalism, but what it was for. For more information, I refer you to Thoreau; Ghandi; Martin Luther King, Jr. and others who saw the worth of breaking laws in the right way.

[If DUmmie AtomicKitten is lucky, her judge will be from the Ninth Circuit Court who would actually buy into that leftist bilge.]

Making a stand for truth will bring good karma, while I doubt that making such a stand will incur bad karma. Also, I equally doubt anyone will gain much negative karma from sharing viewpoints on a message board.

[So what was it that has given the DUmmies the incredibly BAD karma of losing over and OVER again on issue after issue? Oops! I forgot. It's all the fault of DIEBOLD.]

I seen a stupid Diebold truck at my former bank; I'm glad I don't do business with them anymore!

[Your bank business terminated when your account dwindled down to zero.]

Rosebud57 posted flyers here that I have been putting up around Chicago that call for impeachment. There is nothing like the thrill I get from that. It reminds me of my highschool days and the TP we used to spread around. May I suggest some quality time with the kids. It is never to soon to start them along the right path.

[YUP! It also reminds me of your high school days when you spread TP around the yards. May I suggest some quality time with the kids so you can deface Diebold trucks on a family outing? It is never too soon to start them along the WRONG path.]

IMHO. not a good thing to do, The poor guy driving the van probably has no union and this is the only job he could get in this jobless recovery. Now he has to explain this to his boss. Think people, THINK! Damnit. Let's do what makes us puff up our chests and say heh, "look at me". Real f(cking bright.

[And this DUmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for his brief moment of mental clarity (except for his dopey remark about a "jobless recovery").]

Also many grocery stores have digital video surveillance of their parking lots. Some systems are very unobtrusive and Diebold is just one of the firms that offer security services from internal alarms and cameras to external video; that may be why the vehicle was parked there. Your actions very well may have been recorded; at least your car could be. And yes, they can read your license plates.

[The RECORDED video surveillance PLUS the confession by DUmmie AtomicKitten should be more than enough to achieve an EASY conviction.]

Not a very smart move. You had better hope there were no surveillance cameras in that parking lot.

[The Diebold truck was probably at that grocery store in order to upgrade the existing parking lot surveillance camera. When the driver checked out the surveillance tape for quality, he saw you defacing his truck. Now THAT is karma!!!]

They have really really nasty baloney sandwiches at the county jail. Please consider leaving a note on the windshield instead:

[However, I understand their cheese sandwiches are DEEELISH!]

If I lived in France in 1943 then I wish I would have the guts to paint anti-Nazi slogans.

[Yeah, it takes the same amount of guts to risk getting shot by the Gestapo as it does to risk a fine slapped on you for acting like a dopey child here.]

Madam, you have earned my undying respect even if you do end up in jail.

[Perhaps you could pay a conjugal visit to DUmmie AtomicKitten's jail.]

I can't believe that so many people here condone this.

[Oh, I can believe it. This is DUmmieland after all.]

Am I protected by the Whistleblower statute?

[Yes, but only if you blow the judge's whistle.]

Diebold maliciously defaced this entire country
They'll get over a little magic marker on a truck. Screw the law.

["Screw the law." You would make a great Democrat member of the Senate Judiciary Committee.]

your name is rebel.
REBEL, breaking law is true rebellion. In this case she spreads the word, while defacing a van that owned by a company which has and still is screwing the people, and is actively participating in stealing their votes. Rebel, defy the illegitimate authority.

[Rebel, go STRAIGHT to jail. Do not pass GO.]

To the finger-waggers - a note to you. First of all, I realize this was technically wrong. However, and this is a HUGE HOWEVER. It was impulsive, and I am not an impulsive person. It was impulsive because of 5 years of built-up rage and frustration over the fact that the Republicans have gotten away with election fraud not once, not twice, but three times (2000, 2002, and 2004). I made a statement, albeit illegal, against a corrupt system that I, quite frankly, have little hope will change. John Q. Public MUST know what is going on. This truck is now a billboard, and the driver will not be held responsible for this (my father is an insurance agent and told me so).I consider it a service rendered. My neck, not yours.

[Thank you for that mea culpa, DUmmie AtomicKitten. However a minor correction: In 2000 you BLAMED paper ballots NOT electronic machines for the Algore loss. As a matter of fact the widespread use of Diebold nowadays can be attributed to DUmmie crybabying over the "unfairness" of paper ballots.]

I'm a writer. "Defaced" was simply a term to punctuate the header, not to be taken literally for chrissakes. To MOST that was clear. And the Magic Marker is, in fact, not permanent. I tried it on my own car and removed it.

[Nice try, DUmmie AtomicKitten, but most non-Ninth Circuit judges will laugh your flimsy excuses out of the courtroom especially since your act of vandalism has been caught on the parking lot surveillance camera.]

There is nothing about the word "defaced" alone that denotes permanence which I feel is the deal-breaker when it comes to vandalism. I did NOT destroy the property, therefore, in fact did NOT vandalize it. The Magic Marker, although stating it is permanent on the pen itself, has long since been "cracked" by the clean sleuths out there and I proved on my own vehicle that it was, in fact, not permanent. I didn't state that fact in my OP because most folks already know that.

[So which do you prefer my nervous little DUmmie AtomicKitten? Serving your Community Service hours cleaning out the courthouse toilets or clearing brush along the county roads?]

Ya, know, you have been challenging me all day about a pretty innocuous post, and then accuse me of being defensive. I used precisely the words I intended in my post, words that describe what I wanted to say, and you kept reading more and more into the whole thing. I don't feel superior to anybody, I have simply responded to your incessant negativity.

[Keep coming up with nervous excuses, DUmmie AtomicKitten. Oh, did I mention that in addition to the Community Service Hours that your fine will run you at least a thousand bucks?]

I think you need to get a life or try some Metamucil.
The "damage" wasn't permanent; hardly vandalism. Climb on down off your high horse, dude. This was a much smaller deal than you are making it.

[That "small deal" is going to cost you Community Service Hours plus a fine of at least a thousand bucks, DUmmie AtomicKitten.]

I drive a truck. Do it to me. Vandalize it and you'd find my boot on your face. Why do you think that's even remotely funny? Now the driver is in the shit. Gee, thanks.

[Your post is way too rational. Expect a tombstoning ceremony soon.]

You started out all full of yourself
But got defensive when called on your thoughtless, childish actions. Sorry to be you. Yes, that driver could very well have lost his job. Many companies have an inspection policy when the vehicle is pre-tripped and then when it comes back into the yard. If that vandalism wasn't noticed and noted by the driver and management finds out on the next inspection report, they can take action against that driver. I've seen it done, many times. If you obscured the company name, the DRIVER could get a ticket. If it had a DOT number or inspection sticker that you covered up or obscured with marker, the DRIVER is held responsible and ticketed. I don't care that you think that you struck one against 'the man', it would come down on some working stiff.

[Two RATIONAL posts in a row. A DUmmieland record.]

OK hard-asses, did you notice there was no permanent damage?That hardly qualifies this as vandalism. Is there a reason some of you folks here refuse to digest that tidbit? You really like to hear yourself expound on a soapbox regardless of whether or not the topic is moot, and it's a lot of hot air IMO.
Get a f***ing life. I tried the marker on my own car. I used WD40 and then Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser and it came off. Also there are tons of other remedies as well. Happy? Hell no, because you aren't paying attention. You just like to go off ....

[Even if your lawyer is only semi-competent, DUmmie AtomicKitten, he will strongly advise you against using that incredibly lame excuse at your trial.]

Face up to it. Your action was wrong and illegal and I just hope you don't go to jail, but if you do, I hope you have someone to bail you out.

[Don't rush it. Remember what I posted about that jailhouse having those DEEEELISH cheese sandwiches.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-10-06 (Loser Hippie mopaul Blasts Successful Alito)

A lot of what goes on in politics today has its roots way back to high school and college. In fact, much of the liberal RAGE against conservatives can be traced back to the fact that many of these liberals were/are a bunch of disfunctional, socially awkward LOSERS. And if said liberals were in their teens or early twenties back in the late 60s or early 70s, such as DUmmie mopaul, then they were probably brain fried hippies who were incredibly RESENTFUL of well-adjusted successful types like Samuel Alito. Their rage at being life's losers has not diminished over the years as you can see in DUmmie mopaul's THREAD titled, "alito & i are the same age, & i met jerkoffs like him in college." So let us be entertained as mopaul (& co.) delivers his angry hippie screechings in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who was once a noted HIPPIE HUNTER, is in the [brackets]:

alito & i are the same age, & i met jerkoffs like him in college

[And Alito IGNORED jerkoff loser hippies like you, mopaul.]

during the vietnam war they were always in the rotc and they blindly supported nixon and the war and they screamed at the dirty hippies and they were all the same tight assed pukes who hated to see anyone have any fun or make any waves.

[Translation: "I am still ENRAGED at the NORMAL guys who got the cute chicks and who weren't a bunch of socially awkward malcontented loser hippies like me."]

they were the type who felt so little inside that they had to make a big impression to the world about how big they were and they spent all their time making sure no one mistook them for a hippie. suit and tie, short hair, corn cob up their ass, they were all the same little republican nazi youth you see in the gop today.

[Translation: "They were successful types that took showers and took time to groom themselves unlike the big fat slob hippies like me that were rejected as totally repugnant by all the cool chicks."]

i do not look forward to an asshole of this proportion making rules about this tired old crazy hippie's life.

["Crazy old hippie." Thanx for AT LAST enlightening us with the sad TRUTH about yourself, loser mopaul. And now let your fellow hippie DUmmies chime in with their childish resentments against the NORMAL people...]

I think we all know those types. Viet Nam was over by the time I went to college, but these "little republican nazi youth" still existed. They voted for Reagan. They voted for Bush the elder. F*ck these people.

[DAMN these people!!! Their mere successful existence is a slap in the face against loser malcontents such as us.]

I'm just a shade younger, but still new the type. Lots of 'em in frats too! Ooooh! I don't like those frat boys!

[You just hated the fact that the hot looking chicks preferred the frat boys over the drooling slobby losers.]

These guys have been carrying their WATB chip on their shoulders for years. They were figuratively wedgied by "the hippies" who were apparently having all the fun in college while they were good little brownshirts.

[The hippies were having a grand ol' time frying their brains and ODing. When those hippies finally awoke from their coma, they found out the NORMAL guys were running things...and that sent the left behind hippies into a RAGE.]

You know that mofo was a straight-ass chickenshit. Must not go against what daddy and mommy say. He still believes that only now the chimp is his daddy and mommy.

[Alito respected his mother and father? DISGUSTING!!!]

I agree, mopaul, there's something prissy and self-satisfied in his voice and demeanor.

[I believe the term you are searching for is "self-confidence."]

Yeah, I knew a couple of dorks like that in college, too
Calling Lt. Calley a patriot, bringing a briefcase to class, calling the prof. "Sir" or "ma'am." Always sniffing the air for telltale signs of unauthorized herbal substances. I imagine them at home listening to Pat Boone records and dreaming up new ways to return America to a state of blissful, squeaky-clean clampdown.

[Didn't Little Richard steal his songs from Pat Boone and then perform them in a way to appeal to a more mainstream audience?]

Someone Needs To DOSE Him, Bigtime
Where's Owsley when you need him? Can you imagine someone slipping some blotter in his water glass during these hearings? Man, that would rock.

[Please! Can somebody out there fry Alito's brain as badly as ours so as to bring him down to our LOW level?]

The fundies annointed the hearing room with oil, we should annoint his water with the substance of our choice. If someone did that, we'd find out what he REALLY feels inside.

[Your substance of choice is lithium.]

Alito will be a loyal bushbot. Maybe he'll be the one to spearhead SCOTUS repealing the 22nd amendment, paving the way for the f*cking chimp to be dictator for life.

[Your Hero, Hugo Chavez, is already pulling off that routine in Venezuela so he can remain in office long after his LEGAL term is over.]

God, this sucks.

[Alito will probably be on the SCOTUS for at least the next 30 years. Deal with it by swallowing more drugs.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-10-06 ("If Dems don't filibuster, they are sending us a clear signal")

The DUmmies are setting themselves up for yet MORE frustration. This time it comes in the form of frustration over the LACK of a filibuster over Judge Alito. Judging from what is happening, despite the wild attacks on Alito by Chuck the Shmuck and The Swimmer, there probably WON'T be a filibuster against Alito. Thus the DUmmies are setting themselves up for another round of rubber room frustration as you can see in this THREAD titled, "If Dems don't filibuster, they are sending us a clear signal." Yes, once again the DUmmie hopes are about to be dashed by the realization that Alito WILL be nominated to the Supreme Court no matter how incoherently loud the drunken Teddy shouts in protest. So let us watch the fun spectacle of the DUmmies working themselves up to an uncontrollable rage in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, anxiously awaiting the entertainment of the post-nomination fireworks in DUmmieland, is in the [brackets]:

If Dems don't filibuster, they are sending us a clear signal

[And the signal is: "Time for a new round of meds."]

The message is: We are on our own.

[Fear not, DUmmies. You can still receive succor and comfort from the likes of Benburch, mopaul, flyarm, and Pied Piper Pitt. They will lead you to the Bolshevik Promised Land.]

I hope that they do not send this message. Send whatever good vibe you survive on to our Dem senators, and send an Insight vibe of your choosing to the Republican senators participating in this slap-to-the-face to our Constitution.

[And don't forget to send a Therapy Vibe to you local mental health professional.]

These hearings are a farce. Alito needs therapy, not more power. If the senators choose this sick, sexist, sociopathic NeoCon to lord over us legally, we will know that the last shreds of courage and integrity were vacuumed up by a cleaning lady in the Senate months ago.

[The unintended self irony of your post about Alito needing therapy followed by your wacko rant has probably gone over your tiny head.]

Right On!!! As far as I am concerned, it is their LAST damn chance. NO TO ALITO!

[Damn that Alito! Why can't he believe the constitution is subservient to International Law like Justice Breyer?

If the dems allow this nomination, it means they are one with the GOP in the culture of corruption and overturning our freedoms, especially womens.

[Liberal Civil War is FUN to watch!]

They have had time to get the script right and trap him tomorrow.

[Set the Alito trap and then BORK HIM!!!]

If the Dems don't filibuster, we are F*CKED! ... for generations!

[You've already achieved that exhalted state.

We are standing at the Brink. Period.
If this guy gets in, we can kiss any vestige of judicial decency goodbye. Scalia, Thomas, Alito, and Roberts will recreate America. And, that, my friends, is not being dramatic.

[Have no fear. They will continue to allow DUmmieland to stay in existence. After all, it is an endless source of comedic entertainment.]

Goodbye America - Hello Christian extremist theocrats
if this happens. But we will not allow them to do so even if it means civil war, expecially when it comes to women's rights. We'll quite politely rip their eyes and hearts out.

[You've already given us solid proof that your brains have been ripped out.]

Yes, you're right... This will be do or die for America!
Dem's MUST filibuster Alito!!! If they don't I'll NEVER support them again!

[You will NEVER support them again...until you go crawling back again like lapdogs with your tails between your legs.]

Personally, I think a clear agenda item is to impeach every Federal bench appointment Bush made once election fraud is demonstrated to the majority of the population, which simply relies on the story being covered...every single one of them. Judge Abner Mikva, retired, a distinguished jurist agrees with me, btw. He said so right after *'s sElection.

[I always suspected that Judge Mikva was a bit nutty but thank you for this new information confirming that he is actually completely LOOOOOONY!]

Dont give in Dems...This one is for all the marbles...

[Yes, those marbles that you have lost.]

We cannot let the SCOTUS slip
its gone too far already

[The Democrats are too far gone already. Oh, and your slip is showing.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-09-06 (DUmmie Causes Democrat To Run Away From Crazed MIHOP Rant)

Try this experiment. Go up to a Democrat friend or relative who isn't totally far gone. Then tell them that on the biggest Democrat Web Forum the prevailing theory about what happened on 9-11 is something called MIHOP and then go into detail as to what the initials mean. Most likely the semi-normal Democrat will think you are either putting them on or grossly exaggerating in order to make Democrats look bad. Therefore the reaction of this "normal" Democrat to a DUmmie in this THREAD titled, "A MINOR rant for the day," is NOT surprising. He was FRIGHTENED by the bizarre 9-11 conspiracy theory promulgated by the DUmmie and hastened to get away from the source of the madness. Unfortunately for this Democrat and his fellow Democrats who still retain a few shreds of sanity, they will have even MORE confrontations with insane DUmmie conspiracy theories as time goes on. There is NO ESCAPING the MENTAL ILLNESS that has taken hold of the Democrat Party. Once upon a time, one could disagree with an Adlai Stevenson or a Hubert Humphrey but still not feel they were NUTS! However, today's Democrats live in the shadow of the likes of Howard Dean and the DUmmies. THERE IS NO ESCAPE! Yes, you might be embarrassed by the nutcases but in today's Democrat Party they are the hard core who run the show. As usual the DUmmies with both minor and major rants are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, handing out the butterfly nets to the Democrats, is in the [brackets]:

A MINOR rant for the day

[Let 'er rip!]

I was out working on my local petition for the city of Lakewood (CO). I saw a man wear a fabulous necklace that had Wes Clark’s name on it. I complimented him and we exchanged names. I said I was at the D/T Denver party for Wes when he through his hat into the ring for 2004, he said he was also. By this time I recognized him, doubt if he recognized me. He was very involved in the original Clark draft. He is hoping Clark will run again in 2008

We started talking about the implosion of the Republican Party and how the dems don’t seem to be benefiting from it. We were talking about how difficult it has been for the dems to position them selves after 9-11. (I knew better, but couldn’t resist) and I started talking about MIHOP>.I explained how in the history of the world steel buildings have never imploded and how it takes weeks to plant demolition to implode a building> How did they do this is a few hours? MIHOP.> He very quickly said he was running late and had to go…. and left!

What hope do we have to get the truth out if committed, involved loyal democrats don’t want to hear the truth?

[BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I LOVE your story!!! Yes, more semi-normal Democrats need to hear your wacko conspiracy theories. Perhaps it will drive even MORE folks out of the Democrat party. Oh, and I sincerely hope that you (or a fellow DUmmie) is a featured speaker at the next Democrat convention.]

I don't believe that bombs were planted in the Twin Towers.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Bush exploited 9/11 - he didn't create it.

[LIHOP?]

Too much has happened since 9-11 that sent me from LIHOP to MIHOP a year ago.

[A spiritual conversion---DUmmie style.]

People don't want to believe that Bushco is "that" evil..

[Even some Democrats don't want to believe fellow Democrats are that nutty.]

IF the Atta and other terroists, Sun Cruz ship/Abramoff, repuke connection is ever made public...THEN people will listen.

[Oh yes. We've read all about the "rock solid" proof of a connection between the terrorists and the Sun Cruz casino ship.]

If this is what you suggest we embrace for the next campaign
we are doomed. Might as well resign to the fact that the Republicans will continue to win again and again.

[Shhhh! Don't discourage dopey DUmmie conspiracy theories!]

OMG..If the truth about 9-11 is irrelevant we are doomed. You think jobs are more important than the truth coming out.Give me links concerning engineers that disagree.

[MIHOP!!! SHOUT it loud from every rooftop!!!]

The 2004 election WAS STOLEN by the evoting machines being hacked. He's an illegitimate asshole. He has NEVER been elected.

[Thank you for reminding us again that wacko DUmmie conspiracy theories extends beyond 9-11.]

IMHO MIHOP is a very tough sell, LIHOP a little less, but neither should be neccissary for Democratic victory -- if it is, we are toast.

[Whole wheat or rye?]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-08-06 ("I don't understand why Diebold can't steal it even if we win big")

ATTENTION DUMMIES! WE OWN ALL YOUR DIEBOLD MACHINES!!! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO VOTE! DO NOT ENTER THE POLL BOOTH!!! VOTING WILL DO YOU NO GOOD BECAUSE ALL DIEBOLDS ARE PRE-SET TO VOTE REPUBLICAN! YOUR PARTICIPATION IN ANY FUTURE ELECTION IS ALREADY DOOMED TO FAILURE SO SAVE YOURSELF THE FRUSTRATION BY STAYING HOME ON ELECTION DAY! THIS PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU CARE OF YOUR FRIENDLY VAST RIGHTWING CONSPIRACY!!! And if you think the DUmmies don't buy into the preceding statements then I urge you to check out this THREAD titled, "I don't understand why Diebold can't steal it even if we win big." Of course, the answer is that Diebold WILL steal it NO MATTER WHAT. So let us now descend into the depths of DUmmie Paranoia blaring out in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, programming a few Diebold Machines to vote the "right" way, is in the [brackets]:

I don't understand why Diebold can't steal it even if we win big.

[Just to set your mind at ease, Diebold is set to steal it NO MATTER WHAT.]

Won't they just readjust the tabulators when polls indicate Dems are far ahead? Those freaks don't care if an election theft is blatant, they just want to keep their evil power hold on this nation. Is there something I'm missing here?

[Rational thought is what you are missing but since you MUST know, the tabulators have been updated and can be "readjusted" via powerful infrared beams 30 yards away.]

I'd think . . . if the exit polls are something like 49/51 or thereabouts, they can claim faulty exit polls. If they are something like 65/45, that would be an obviously ridiculous thing to say. Wouldn't put it past them though. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get you.

[If the polls are something like 65/45 we can claim that Democrat voters from the graveyard are working overtime...as usual.]

I totally agree with you. I believe the reasoning is it would be too obvious, but do you really expect these guys are going to turnover the reigns? Not me. Look at the Ohio Voter initiatives from last fall. Polls showed they were winning 60-40 but the Blackwellian results howed them losing 30-70. There was no way Blackwell could afford for them to win and there is no way the neocons want to relinquish power, as well.

[Blackwellian results emanating from the Perfect Rovian Storm.]

They will do whatever it takes to win. We gotta stop Diebold

[WARNING: Any attempt to stop Diebold will automatically activate Skynet.]

The one hope I have about Diebold...
...is that they are teatering on so many different levels right now , that they'd have to be completely BRAINDEAD to not be paranoid.

[Are they teatering on the left teat or the right teat?]

Once the coup is complete, Dieboldesque voting may be the law of the land, literally.

[Dieboldesque: The new rightwing odor soon to sold at your local perfume counter.]

North Carolina is Diebold free. So that is one they can't steal. Even though some stupid democrats are fighting to get them back in NC.

[Even though some stupid democrats are too stupid to know that Diebold machines are unnecessary in North Carolina since that state ALWAYS votes Republican in the Presidential elections. Just ask John Edwards if you can pull him away from his beauty compact.]

I swear I think all this BBV stuff is blown out of proportions by Repubs just to make Dems stop voting. I've seen it, too. I've worked polls where Dem voters were practically in tears about having to vote on a machine that wasn't even Diebold. The woman I'm thinking about didn't even vote she was so depressed.

[More Democrats should be similarly encouraged.]

They can't rig all the elections.

[True. We still allow you to win a Dog Catcher post or two.]

The machines have clocks. Code can be time sensitive.
Corruption code can be triggered by it being an election day and not work at all during "off" hours.

[Those little tiny time pills are always set to vote Republican when needed.]

The essential thing to remember is that the current administration came to power in a coup, and will never give up that power willingly. Don't cloud the issue by arguing that Democrats have a better plan or that Republicans have destroyed the economy not to mention we're in the midst of an illegal war. Nothing that rational matters.

[Correct. Nothing rational matters to the DUmmies.]

I am floundering around in a sea of confusion and angst about the state of the nation. What has come to be was a long time in the making, and undoing it won't happen overnight. I was sleeping soundly until the dawn of change woke me abruptly. I doubt I will slumber peacefully again.

[Welcome to a world of Pied Piper Pitt insomnia (he hasn't slept since April).]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-06-06 ("Where is Fitzgerald? No Fitzmas after all that?")

It looks like the DUmmies did NOT have a Merry Fitzmas. However, this is just par for the course for the DUmmies. They NEVER have a "Merry Fitzmas" in a whole myriad of schemes that they hope beyond hope will bring down the Evil Bush Regime. There was NO Merry Fitzmas over the Jeff Gannon "scandal," NO Merry Fitzmas over the Downing Street Memos, there was NO Merry Fitzmas over the September Anti-Bush Rally (note: Pied Piper Pitt maintained his purity of essence there by never EVER talking to any member of A.N.S.W.E.R. at ANY time, EVER) and there wasn't even a Merry Fitzmas when Fitzgerald delivered his report on October 28. In the latter "Fitzmas," according to the DUmmies and drooling cheerleader, Chris Matthews, Fitzgerald was to deliver indictments of around 27 high level Bush officials (including Cheney and Rove), thus crippling his Administration. Instead we got one LAME indictment of Scooter Libby. And was the indictment for revealing the name of Valerie Plame as a CIA agent? No. Since Plame was NOT a covert agent, there was NO crime to begin with so NO charges against anybody were brought. Instead, the only indictment inspired by this non-crime was against Scooter Libby for not giving an accurate account of his memory about Valerie Plame. Unfortunately for Libby, he does not possess the superhuman memory of Pied Piper Pitt who can effortlessly recite long blocks of word for word quotes from conversations that took place earlier. Of course, in the long run, Libby will be found NOT GUILTY due to the very difficulty of anyone (other than Pitt) able to perfectly recall conversation details from the past. Disappointed as the DUmmies (and Chris Matthews) were by the lame charges against just one person, they still held up the hope that Fitzgerald would give them a Merry Fitzmas by bringing charges up against Karl Rove or, perhaps, VP Cheney. They were hoping and hoping and waiting and WAITING and now it looks like NOTHING. There will be NO Merry Fitzmas as DUmmie Seansky has noted in his THREAD titled, "Where is Fitzgerald? No Fitzmas after all that?" So let us watch the DUmmies mourn over the Grinch who stole Fitzmas in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that the Abramoff indictment will also give the DUmmies No Cheer, is in the [brackets]:

Where is Fitzgerald? No Fitzmas after all that?

[His investigation into the Plamegate non-crime has pretty much Fitzled out.]

i mean did he announce he was seeking a GJ indictment of rove? the law takes time people. im sure he now wants to toss abramoff in the mix. why not? you got a defendant, let's get all the charges in one swoop

[Lets...lets INDICT the ENTIRE BUSH REGIME IN ONE SWOOP!!! YIPPEEEEEE!!!!]

I do remember he had to go back to Chicago for some other case.

[Some other case involving a REAL CRIME.]

He's at work I imagine. He will present no case before it is time. I for one want quality cases over speedy indictments. Fitzie's working for us man-trust that and be patient.

[Kerry is working hard to overturn the 2004 election by filing some obscure legal papers in an even more obscure Ohio courthouse. Be patient.]

If I hear Fitzmas one more time, i'm going to f*cking scream.
Fitzmas... That makes the left blogs look like a bunch of f*cking idiots. It would be funny if this were a GAME. But it's not. I don't want Fitzmas, I want some fucking JUSTICE.

[Which is why I absolutely LOVE the term "Fitzmas." It does make the DUmmies look like a bunch of "f*cking idiots" Oh, and I hope you had a Merry Fitzmas!]

Thank You for saying that. Fitzmas is so sophomoric
and not at all in a good way.

[Merry Fitzmas! Every year in December I will be wishing the DUmmies a Merry Fitzmas!]

It needs to be said a lot more. The more we come up with cute little gimmick names, the more it looks like a partisan investigation, or a joke. It makes us look like god damned fools.

[MERRY FITZMAS!!! Maybe I can get Fitzmas cards made up to send to DUmmies every year. Skinner, Pied Piper Pitt, and benburch among other DUmmies would be on my Merry Fitzmas card list.]

Saying Fitzmas makes you all look like children.

[MERRY FITZMAS!!! I'll definitely be putting you on my Fitzmas card list, DUmmie Beelzebud.]

The idea of Fitzmas is stupid. Equating prosecution of the administration with a gift-giving holiday seems silly to me.

[MERRY FITZMAS!!! In addition to a Fitzmas card, DUmmie tasteblind, I'll also be sending you a gift wrapped copy of the Downing Street Memos.]

Fitz is taking all of the time needed to dot all of the i's and cross all of the t's. There will be justice done when the time is right. Just be patient. He is a just and fair prosecutor.

[MERRY FITZMAS!!! Just be patient. John Kerry WILL be inaugurated on Jan. 20.]

well, you must be an idealist...and if you recall, it was one of the most reknown left blogs that created the Fitzmas name and got quite popular, so are you calling that blog a bunch of F idiots? and if I dared to think this whole thing as a game, I wouldn't be reading DU in the first place, or following the news so closely, or bothering posting among tons of other things I wouldn't be doing if I thought this whole thing was just a game. And as for Justice...It is taking too long and being too costly to be happening. JUSTICE Is WAY OVER DUE and if history is any indication, true justice might never arrive...look at all the crooks that have gotten away with so much in the past...And YES, Justice is way overdue.

[MERRY FITZMAS!!! And you are correct! The DUmmies themselves are the "bunch of F idiots" who created the Fitzmas name. MERRY FITZMAS!!!]

Yeah. The person that thought up Fitzmas is an idiot.
I don't care how popular his blog is. When independants and righ-wing whackos hear "fitzmas" they think "partisan witch-hunt". It makes the issue appear as one big joke to the average person that doesn't follow this stuff 24/7. My father, a lifelong democrat, heard "Fitzmas" and rolled his eyes at it...

[MERRY FITZMAS and a HAPPY NO CHEER to you and your lifelong democrat dad!]

Anyone who still takes ANY of this as a joke is an idiot.

[MERRY FITZMAS!!!]

Patience is a virtue. I'm sure we haven't heard the end of it. He's taking his time, making sure he has all the facts. Then he'll pounce.

[MERRY FITZMAS!!! Fitz is using the same secret hand signals to indicate that he is about to pounce that Kerry used to signal that he was about to overturn the Ohio election results.]

what? if there is anything beyond the Libby ind. and the new grand jury and the Chicago case that got him so quickly away from that new grand jury, please tell me...Been reading every news that comes out and haven't seen any update on the new jury and the investigation. Or are you just saying that nothing else is going to happen...

[BINGO and MERRY FITZMAS!!!]

Santa Fitz is coming. Don't worry just keep on being a good little DUer .....Rove is toast ..... and i will bet you a shiny nickel that cheney is in his sights too.

[Oh! You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why:
SANTA FITZ IS COMING TO TOWN!!!]

Enough of this Fitzmas stuff--he is conducting an investigation it takes time. He has already indicted Scooter and now he is looking at others including Rove. He knows what he is doing and is doing it. He'll be ready when he has an air-tight case.

[MERRY FITZMAS!!! He'll be ready when he has an air-tight case on Jan. 20, 2009.]

Patience. My kids asked me daily if they could open
"just one present" for about two weeks leading up to the big day. I told them "You are just going to have to wait."

[MERRY FITZMAS!!! I hope your children enjoyed their Fitzmas present of baked crow.]

Kindly treat the work of Mr. Fitzgerald and the members of the Grand Jury with a bit of respect.

[MERRY FITZMAS!!!]

We may hear something from Fitz in a couple of weeks. Patience!

[MERRY FITZMAS!!! WE may hear something from the Jeff Gannon scandal in a couple of weeks. Patience!]

When am I going to collect on all the people who bet against me. There will be no more indictments from Fitzgerald, period. I have a running tally of the bets against me on that, and I will come calling.

[MERRY FITZMAS!!! And THEY will come calling to collect on their bets.]

I will win. As Will Pitt would say, "Bank it."

[MERRY FITZMAS!!! And we all know what a terrific track record the former press secretary for Dennis Kucinich while secretly working for John Kerry has.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-05-06 ("DUers are obsessed with the need for conspiracy?")

Bread and Butter, Bacon and Eggs, and DUmmies and Conspiracies. Yes, they all go together. I mean any visit to DUmmieland will show you that it is filled with the most bizarre conspiracy theories of all kinds. Absolutely NOTHING is too far out for the DUmmie imagination when you consider the BIG debate there is whether 9-11 was LIHOP (Bush Let It Happen On Purpose) or MIHOP (Bush Made It Happen On Purpose). Anybody there daring to suggest that it was the fault of Al-Qaeda are quickly tombstoned. Therefore it was interesting (and fun) to read this DUmmie poll question THREAD titled, "Poll question: DUers are obsessed with the need for conspiracy?" Of course, it would not surprise me a bit if the DUmmies come up with a conspiracy theory for this conspiracy question thread. See, it is being quickly featured by the DUmmie FUnnies so that must mean a Karl Rove agent planted this question in order to make the DUmmies look like complete fools thus furthering the rightwing agenda. As usual the DUmmie Conspiricist Theories are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, waiting for his Rovian payoff in a brown bag delivered by an agent of Richard Mellon Scaife, is in the [brackets]:

Poll question: DUers are obsessed with the need for conspiracy?

[DU you really even need to bother to ask, Mr. MIHOP?]

Not all of us but cmon people. The latest two:

[Just two?]

The tragic mistakes in West Virginia were actually an attempt by the Bush administration to disparage East Coast media outlets?

[Contradicting that assumption will lead to your tombstoning.]

The fact that some of the 9/11 Hijackers took a gambling cruise on Jack Abramoff's ill gotten boat is proof positive that Bush knew that the attacks were coming.

[But...but all the dots connect PERFECTLY. A couple of hijackers board a gambling cruise in which Abramoff is one of the owners and...and...IMPEACH BUSH NOW!!!]

I think some of us need a nap and maybe some special pills.

[aka Meds.]

In a Rovian world. There comes a time when conspiracies are no longer theories. I don't think we're conspiracy obsessed. Just truth obsessed. And the truth will be revealed.

[WHEW! Thanx for bringing the DUmmie discussion level back to its normal paranoia.]

You are familiar with KKKarl's history, aren't you?
I'm not saying I'm for or against those theories you listed, but KKKarl is so low, nothing is beneath him. He has to drill upwards to get to bedrock. Remember McCain's "black baby?" The "child molesting" judge? The 'bugging' of his own office? Please. He's slime.

[And the Tsunami which was perfectly timed to take attention away from the growing discontent with Bush. KKKarl was OBVIOUSLY involved.]

We all know Rove is a world-class bastard, but his actual bastardry is small-time. He's not Ming the freakin' Merciless, for chrisakes.

[Correct. He is actually Rove the Ruthless.]

If the man was a tithe as powerful, influential and effective as a lot of people seem to think, we wouldn't be having this conversation because we'd already be totally f*ked.

[Better check your rear entrance because you already are.]

This thread is a Rovian conspiracy to distract
from the Rovian conspiracy.

[And this DUmmie WINS a Karl Rove Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

Clearly this thread is a Rovian conspiracy to highlight the false Rovian conspiracies, all the better to allow the true Rovian conspiracy, the one the false conspiracies only hint at, to flourish unnoticed.

[Actually the accusation of Rovian conspiracies is itself a Rovian conspiracy therefore you must be a Rovian agent.]

Half of the time the conspiracy theorists are probably far closer to the truth than the media.

[Including the Rovian conspiracy theories about Rovian conpiracies.]

I think the media are out of touch with people's lives, and so people start to look for something that explains their 'reality' better, because often the media don't do a good job of it.

[Your conspiracy theories can be found in the Alternate Reality.]

My point is that half of the time, what appears to be wild theory is probably far closer to the one and only True Reality than the official media's version.

[Except on Wednesdays when they revert to the Alternate Reality.]

It is all so mixed up. Because the first thing a sociopath in trouble (about to be found out) will do is try and inflict psychic trauma on the witness/victim to try make them look angry & deranged so they can be isolated and ignored.

[Angry & deranged? No effort is needed to make the DUmmies appear that way.]

Fact is - when nefarious liars on loose - in the WH or anywhere else - people who see them for what they are and are terrified - will wonder what is up. Will want a more veratic truth. And that pattern will follow them. Rove is a nefarious. People who don't put anything past him have likely been everywhere in his life. Now there are just more people. Because of the choices he makes. Because of his actions. Because he manipulates to get power for his puppet-man.

[You want the veratic truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE VERATIC TRUTH!!!]

And those 2 huge steel and concrete buildings suddenly collapsed at freefall speed after burning for about an hour...Plus the 47 story building a block away...But it was so intensly hot it melted steel!

[Obviously the Al-Qaeda terrorists could not have possibly destroyed the WTC so Bush dreamt up a conspiracy theory ridiculously pinning the blame on them.]

We may be crazy, but we're not stupid!

[Don't be modest. I give you credit for being stupid as well.]

1. Some of the alleged hijackers trained at Huffman Aviation, which was busted for 42 pounds of heroin

2. Abramoff's gambling boats would be a good cover for money laundering and drug smuggling

3. Sibel Edmonds and Indira Singh tell us that money laundering, drug smuggling, and terrorism are all connected

[4. This is a brainwashed mind on drugs.]

James Dobson and Jack Abhamoff met with the Cousin of Mohohammed Atta's next door neighbor's dentist from Memphis at a University of Colorado Football game 4 years ago. More proof that Rove engineered Diebold well known plan to Bomb the WTC in order to kill the secrtary of the Brother of the CEO of their competitor and thus insure that Bush could win a second term thus further insuring an attack on Iraq to deflect attention for the Enron-Haliburton-Diebold-Cheney plot to take over the world.

[Your Jesting Post will soon become Accepted Truth in DUmmieland.]

It's really f*cking annoying to watch a gaggle of paranoids bleat their fear & despair at every turn of the news cycle. You can't actually convince them otherwise, and they refuse to engage in positive action against their shadowy oppressors. Pity, really.

[Pity, really, that you are about to be tombstoned for making a rational remark.]

No one knows the extent of the regime's evil abilities - they certainly have a great distain for law. And knowing what we know about them, at this point, the fact that we have to wonder if its not some well-timed (they're all well-timed) plot is reason for disgust. But that should be directed toward those who brought us to this evil place, not those who wonder how far down hole we've fallen.

[Your reversion to conspiracy theories is sooooo soothing.]

What do you think of the report that some of the hijackers were on a Suncruz casino ship the week before the "hi-jackings". What do you think of the fact that Abramoff was a lobbyist for interests in Pakistan? Now I don't know that ** knew about the details of the planning and conspiring that took place between these and other elements within our military and intelligence communities. But he knew something, don't you think? Don't you find it curious the connections that were had by Atta and associates in Florida? And do you find it curious that it has been nothing but miner coverage all day on the news outlets.(not that it is not newsworthy). The "apparent" error in reporting has sure fueled the news day. Perhaps you haven't been as jaded as some. I for one, take NOTHING at face value. I also definately do not accept newspeak as fact. I always assume I am in the spin zone.

[I always assume you are in the Twilight Zone.]

People keep mentioning the connections between the hijackers and Suncruz/Florida/Abramoff. What connections?? They were there gambling. So were hundreds, probably thousands, of other people. What does that prove?

[It proves that you are too rational to remain in DUmmieland, my soon-to-be-tombstoned DUmmie.]

1. why did the mine corp wait 3 HOURS to tell the truth once they let the lie out?

a. to distract from their crimes by getting everyone to focus on their hate of the M$M?

b. did rove green light it to be able to beat on the M$M to distract from their own problems (look ma a 2fer)

2. SOP - why were we under attack for almost to friggin hours, for CHRISTS sake, and not a single jet fighter in our 400 BILLION dollar arsenal could intervene?

3. why did those buildings fall in their own FOOT-PRINTS?

4. we all know the chimp ain't gotta clue and didn't even REACT (another tell) after being informed that we were UNDER ATTACK by his chief of staff (card) but why in cheneys name didn't the SS whisk him out of harms way until AFTER the photo-op?

[The FUnniest thing about your post is that you are NOT trying to be FUnnie.]

Yes The country is actually being run by Gilligan From his secret Island lair. I know this because the SS Minnow has actually never been found. It my belief that it actually being hidden in the US Gold Bullion Depository in Fort Knox, Kentucky. And actually it's not a boat at all they found the craft outside Groom Lake, Mexico. Never mind the timeline difficulies. That is part of Rov's secret plan as well.

[Your DUmmie post actually makes more sense than the preceding one.]

If the right-wingers are as powerful as the conspiracy types claim, we should just surrender because clearly resistence is pointless.

[SURRENDER NOW!!! RESISTENCE IS POINTLESS!!!]

I know Zuckerman, editor of Newsweek stopped his limousine and pull out his cell phone and kill all news coverage of a protest at an event in Manhattan he was attending in Nov 2000. All of the news crews were there and talking to the 400 protesters in wheel chairs or hooked up to IVs. Not one peep got published. So do not tell me it could not happen.

[I think this conspiracy theory Zucks.]

I have seen people who would believe anything.

[Including the wild conspiracy theory that Dennis Kuchinich's Press Secretary was secretly working for John Kerry.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-04-06 (David Letterman Becomes DUmmie Hero)

As soon as I saw the David Letterman interview with Bill O'Reilly last night, I KNEW that Letterman, denouncing the Iraq War effort and praising Cindy Sheehan, would become an instant DUmmie hero. And checking this DUmmieland THREAD this morning titled, "With O’Reilly as Guest, Very Serious Letterman Denounces Iraq War," I saw that I was not wrong. In order to get yourself up to speed on how much of a complete ASS Letterman made of himself last night, I first recommend that you watch the complete video of this interview now available over at THE POLITICAL TEEN. After watching this video you will fully understand why David Letterman is now a DUmmie Hero. Let us now watch the DUmmies praising their new hero in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, believing that David Letterman is far stupider than any Stupid Pet Trick, is in the [brackets]:

(UPDATE: Michelle Malkin is now covering the David Letterman interview on her Blog at DAVID LETTERMAN: MOONBAT?)

With O’Reilly as Guest, Very Serious Letterman Denounces Iraq War

[Plus he hailed Cindy Sheehan, thus making himself a new DUmmie hero.]

Displaying a hostility to President Bush and the Iraq war similar to that expressed by Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart, on tonight’s Late Show David Letterman will go further than I’ve ever heard him in revealing his derision for President Bush’s decision to launch the Iraq war. I know this thanks to the “Big Show Highlight," a two-minute streaming-only RealPlayer preview of tonight’s program, which is now featured on the Late Show’s home page.

[Coming soon. David Letterman to announce whether he is LIHOP or MIHOP.]

In the posted clip, Letterman mockingly tells guest Bill O’Reilly: "The President himself, less than a month ago said we are there because of a mistake made in intelligence. Well, whose intelligence? It was just somebody just get off a bus and handed it to him?" Letterman demands: “Why the Hell are we there to begin with?" When O’Reilly points out that the British, Russians and Egyptians also presumed Iraq had WMD, Letterman retorts: “Well then that makes it all right?" Turning unusually serious, Letterman soon lectures: “I'm very concerned about people like yourself who don't have nothing but endless sympathy for a woman like Cindy Sheehan. Honest to Christ. Honest to Christ." That prompts O’Reilly to contend: “No way a terrorist who blows up women and children is going to be called a ‘freedom fighter' on my program." To which Letterman fires back: “I have the feeling about 60 percent of what you say is crap.”

[We already know that 100% of what the DUmmies say is crap as we shall see in the following DUmmie droolings over their new hero, David Letterman.]

Letterman is one of the best political interviewers out there, probably because all the hacks expect him to be some sort of goof who just does stupid pet tricks.

[Actually Letterman last night was STUPIDER than any Stupid Pet Trick.]

is O'Reilly saying Cindy Sheehan blows up women and children ? am i reading it wrong ? why would he reply with something like that to Letterman's comments on Sheehan ?

[You are correct. Your level reading comprehension is dismal.]

I guess osama bill forgot that our soldiers have
blown up quite a few women and children.

[David Letterman, meet the folks who now IDOLIZE you.]

DAMMMMNNNNN DAVID LETTERMAN!!! YOU GO BOY!!!

[GO LETTERMAN!!! YOU NOW SOUND AS STUPID AS WE ARE!!!]

there is obvious distaste for o. by L. so very obvious.

[It must be that jealously of rational thought kicking in.]

Letterman absolutely RIPPED OReily all night, referring to him constantly as "People like you."

[Yeah, it was probably this Letterman comment that won the debate for him: "I’m not smart enough to debate you point to point on this..."]

it was smackdown time by Dave!!!!!

[YUP! He just bitch slapped his career into oblivion!!!]

What a beautiful thing to watch.. I played it twice already.
Thank you David Letterman !!!!!

[It was so so beautiful to watch. Dave proved that he is just as extremist loony as we are. Thank you David Letterman!!!!!]

Did anyone notice that Letterman put his pencil in O'Reillys cup?? I think I saw Dave Put his Pencil in O'Reillys Coffie cup and twirled it.

[Such a class act that David Letterman is!]

Right before he brought O'Reilly out, he twirled his pencil...
...in the cup Bill ultimately drank from (it looked pretty deliberate, too!).

[I repeat. A class act!]

Letterman is pissed, but he's staying under control while skewering...the heck out of that weasel!

[Yup! Letterman is keeping his cool while declaring that he is not smart enough to debate but that 60% of what O'Reilly says is crap. Such a rational argument I have never seen before.]

I've been a Letterman fan since before he dressed in the velcro suit and trampolined up against the velcro board. Since before he swam in a vat of Jello. Way long. Never ever have I seen him so visibly pissed off at anyone, let alone a guest. He's been steaming even after O'Lielly left. Hell, he wasn't as steamed as this about that stalker gal he had to have restrained.

[Even the stalker girl now seems more rational than Letterman.]

God bless David Letterman. And I'm a f*cking atheist! Dave was brilliant. Very serious, no jokes. Bill, you're an ass. Best Dave segment in YEARS.

[God Bless David Letterman. He was brilliant with such statements as, "I’m not smart enough to debate you point to point on this..."]

Dave and Al Franken are my heroes for the way they made him look like the idiot he is.

[Al Franken also made Letterman look like an idiot?]

there is obvious distaste for o. by L. so very obvious.

[As evidenced by sticking a pencil in O'Reilly's coffee cup before he walked into the studio.]

. This could be a REALLY big deal. Letterman/Leno the late night network talk shows are the embodiment mainstream television and mainstream culture. He shapes mainstream opinion alot more than O'Leilly. What this tells people is that this O'Leilly guy is a clown who is outside the mainstream. If others who are influential in the MSM follow Letterman they can really marginalize this guy and Fox News.

[Yes, YES!!! This could be the Walter Cronkite Moment that brings down the entire Bush Regime!!!]

i think o's ratings will be notched down a few pts after this show!!

[Hee! Hee! I think you are in for a rude SHOCK when you see the fast PLUNGE in Letterman's ratings.]

Time to tell Letterman how much you appreciate this show tonight....

["Hi David! Just a note to let you know how much you are appreciated by the loony LIHOP/MIHOP crowd!"]

E-mailed, here's what I wrote... Dear Dave

Thank you for treating evil ugly lying posturing thin skinned hypocritical right wing media gas bag Bill O`Reilly with the sort of slight regard he so richly deserves.

God bless you Sir.

[I thought you were an atheist?]

God bless David Letterman. I will remain his fan for ever more.

[As long as he keeps spewing leftist swill.]

Hey, Billy....you've just been PUNKED!!

[YUP! Letterman tossed his pencil in his coffee cup before he even got on the stage.]

I hope Dave gets more mail than he's ever recieved in his life over this !!!

[Oh, I assure he will. TONS of mail. Hee! Hee!]

get real. it was a washout. Letterman did not back up anything he said

[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

...it's almost like Dave went to see "Good Night and Good Luck" and became inspired by how main-stream television can take down a hate-monger that is shoving the country towards fascism...picked up the phone and said, "Book that McCarthyite bastard O'Reilly for the show...I'm gonna go all Edward R. Murrow on his phoney hate-talking ass."

[YUP! Dave sure did take down a big TV host last night...Himself.]

Go Letterman! I believe that the only reason he was able to say what he did is that Redstone broke up Viacom that morning. Maybe CBS will be more liberal from now on.

[LOL! CBS is going to be MORE Liberal? Any more Liberal and CBS would be falling off the cliff along with Letterman's TV career.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-03-06 ("Why were Atta and 9/11 muslim hijackers on Abramoff's casino boat?")

Anybody who lives in South Florida would have to laugh at the title of this DUmmie THREAD, "Why were Atta and 9/11 muslim hijackers on Abramoff's casino boat?" They are, of course, referring to the Sun Cruz Casino boat. Yes, perhaps Atta and some of the other hijackers were aboard the Sun Cruz Casino boat but so were tons of others. It isn't like the Sun Cruz was known to only a few folks out here. At one time, Sun Cruz billboards were all over town with thousands of people taking their gambling cruise to nowhere primarily because our local legislators were too clueless to LEGALIZE casino gambling, thus opening up enormous opportunities for such casino boats. However, leave it up to the DUmmies to dream up tinfoil hat conspiracy theories involving Abramoff and the hijackers, timed to come out just as Abramoff made his guilty pleas. Perhaps we should also indict the owner of the strip club where the hijackers gathered to get in one last lap dance before meeting their 72 virgins in Paradise. So point your tinfoil hat antennas in the direction of DUmmieland to receive their latest bizarre signals. As usual the tinfoil hat DUmmie conspiracy theories are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, about to undergo an IHOP overdose, is in the [brackets]:

Why were Atta and 9/11 muslim hijackers on Abramoff's casino boat?

[Perhaps they mistakenly thought they could score a lap dance from Abramoff?]

Hmm, Muslim hijackers who partied it up with a stripper and cocaine, liked pork chops (see http://tinyurl.com/dkxv3 ), went to a bar the night before they were going to meet Allah , and, as if that wasn't enough, we now find out some of them also went out for "tours to nowhere" on casino boats, and not just any old casino boat, but one owned by lobbyist du jour Jack Abramoff. Why it is almost enough to make a person a conspiracy theorist.

[Hmmm...Let us overlook the fact that the Sun Cruz Casino was the BIGGEST casino boat in South Florida and just turn it all into a wacko conspiracy theory.]

When are all these dots going to connect!

[When we add in the payoffs to Harry Reid.]

It's more like IHOP

[IHOP is where you go before boarding the Sun Cruz Casino boat.]

Grover Norquist is well known to be connected to many terrorists.

[A fact well established in the Alternate Reality known as DUmmieland.]

How big are these boats? I mean are they floating casinos or what?

[HUGE. Big enough to accomodate every REAL member of DUmmieland and still have lots of room to spare.]

Is the Israeli mob being revealed?

[Working with Muslim extremists? You need to work overtime to weave together that conspiracy theory.]

Like all good warmongers, these traitors play both sides of the street. On one side, we find Casino Jack Abramoff working the knobs off of AIPAC's VIP list. On the other side, we find Grover Norquist working the knobs of OPEC's VIP list. These bastards want permanent war -- or until the last of their enemies is dead, which means the last free human.

[Israelis and Muslim extremists working together to kill everybody. Yes, your tinfoil hat is certainly glowing bright red now.]

come on this can't be true. they wouldn't be that sloppy would they?

[They never counted on the brilliance of the DUmmie tinfoil hatters to piece together the conspiracy.]

What's the source of this information? I'd love to believe it, but I don't want to do a Dan Rather on this...

[The info is rock solid. Lucy Ramirez was the source.]

AP was one of the sources

[Correct and here was the AP story from Sept. 26, 2001:

"TAMPA, Fla. - SunCruz Casinos has turned over photographs and other documents to FBI investigators after employees said they recognized some of the men suspected in the terrorist attacks as customers.Michael Hlavsa, chairman of the gambling cruise company, said Wednesday two or three men linked to the Sept. 11 hijackings may have been customers on a ship that sailed from Madeira Beach on Florida's gulf coast."

So this is OLD NEWS and involved only a couple of the terrorists. However, that is enough to set the tinfoil hats glowing.]

Gee, 9/26/01 article says photos and docs turned over to FBI.
What do you think happened to those photos and documents once they were turned over to the FBI?



[Placed in a filing cabinet?]

Is there any evidence they haven't mauled, hidden or destroyed by now?

[No but we have plenty of evidence that your brain was mauled, hidden, and destroyed by now.]

Remember when Condi, under 9/11 Commission oath, said-
And I paraphrase, "We never thought they'd use planes as weapons?" How does that square with Bush taking a portable SAM battery with him to Florida?

[I thought he took a Double A Battery with him to Florida.]

IE - Further evidence of linkage between terrorists and GOP
If -- and based on the current state of evidence, we must stress the word "if" -- if further evidence links Mohammed Atta to G.O.P.-friendly shady operators, then many lingering questions may find an answer. Among those questions: Why was the ABLE DANGER team told to steer clear of Atta?

[Better ask that question of the Clinton Pentagon lawyers who ordered them to steer clear of Atta in September 2000.]

ok, ok i give...
what does MIHOP and LIHOP stand for?

[If you have to ask that probably means you need to be Tombstoned.]

i personally asked Bob kerry of the 9/11 commission why jeb was never put under oath about this ..he would not answer me.. i also personally handed a copy of this to Al Frankin at the democratic convention..he has never reported on it!

[Because even they think you are a LOON, DUmmie flyarm.]

Christ does it ever end? I know this is all good news for the Dems

[Isn't it WUNDERFUL! Now the Dems can pin 9-11 on the EVIL GOP. Go ahead. Pin it. Make my day!]

And what thrill could gambling possibly hold for men about to go on a suicide mission??

[Lapdancing does seem to be their vice of choice.]

Uh huh.........This doesn't surprise me a bit!
I figured Bush was in on an inside job 911, all along.

[You're soooo perceptive! I guess they couldn't pull the wool over the eyes of a genius like you.]

After reading the posts on this thread, something else came to me. Shortly after 9/11, Time Magazine ran a story on the event. There were lots of photos. The focus was on how the administration reacted to it. What happened? in those first few hours of the attack. There were photos of Cheney watching a TV monitor with the building coming down. Rice was there. Bush was strangely gone. I don't think I saw one photo of him. I can't remember what the reason was. Maybe security? Anyway, the article described Cheney in the aftermath of the horror. It said he was "cool, composed, took control of the situation right away". It was very complimentary, said he "showed his managerial side", was "gruff with aides", "had a very short temper in those first few hours". But they meant, how awesome to have good leadership when we needed it most.Leadership? I wonder. You know, now that I think of it, Cheney had a very strange cock-eyed smile. You know, the one?



[Cheney's strange cock-eyed smile is the KEY to the whole MIHOP conspiracy!]

9:35 he was evacuated from his office, says Newsweek,
and adds that he dawdled through the tunnel so he didn't get to the bunker 'til 9:58. But Mineta said Cheney was already in the bunker when he got there at 9:20, and Mineta's timeline is corrobarated by Richard Clarke's and by WHY photographer Richard Bohrer.




[Are you sure Cheney wasn't aboard the Sun Cruz Casino during that timeframe?]

Okay, they live in South Florida, the casino is there too
and they went aboard to gamble. Strange, but not evidence of a conspiracy. They also bought their plane tickets from computers in Kinkos, do you think Kinkos is also involved somehow? I'm not one for the "official story", and maybe Abramoff had some part in 9/11? But the fact of their going aboard his casino ship is not evidence of anything other than some Arabs gambling on his boat.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Why would anyone planning a suicide want to go gambling?
That makes ZERO sense.

[Especially since everybody knows that the terrorist recreational activity of choice is lapdancing.]

IMPEACHMENT, TRIAL, CONVICTION!

[Yeah. That gambling boat tour by a couple of terrorists is ROCK SOLID evidence to jail Bush NOW!!!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-03-06 ("You do realize that Bush is never going to be impeached, Right?")

One of the biggest NUTJOBS in DUmmieland is the infamous DUmmie benburch and in that perpetual asylum that is saying a lot. And since benburch is such an extremist whacko, this also makes him a RICH source of comedic material for the DUmmie FUnnies (and don't forget to nominate the DUmmie FUnnies for MOST HUMOROUS WEBLOG at the 2006 BLOGGIES AWARDS) as you can see in his THREAD titled, "You do realize that Bush is never going to be impeached, Right?" Yes, I know what you're thinking after reading that title. It actually sounds like DUmmie benburch is a candidate for a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity. However, remember this is DUmmie benburch we are talking about so I assure you that he WON'T dissapoint in the kookiness department as you will soon discover, Dear Reader. As usual the benburch & friends rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, once again annoyingly reminding you about those Weblog nominations (VOTE DUmmie FUnnies---Most Humorous Weblog), is in the [brackets]:

You do realize that Bush is never going to be impeached, Right?

[Hurry, DUmmie benburch! Post your kookie followup before you get Tombstoned for typing such a controversial statement in DUmmieland!]

He has finally put himself above the law, and too many in his own party fear him (as people feared Stalin) to ever allow us to get the margin required to impeach in the House or to convict in the Senate.

[Yes, Republican congressman fear the dreaded Bushco Chekhists coming to take them away in the middle of the night.]

Further he is going to use that power to throw all the '06 elections to Republicans that can be stolen by any means, not JUST electronic voting fraud, but brownshirt intimidation tactics, "felons" lists, stolen ballot boxes, fraudulent mail-ins, etc, with secure knowledge that nobody will ever be prosecuted for those crimes because the Party has the fix in.

[Felons lists, stolen ballot boxes, fraudulent mail-ins? Bush must have been closely studying Democrat election practices in such places as Milwaukee, St. Louis, Seattle, and a host of other cities.]

Problem is we have no plan to make sure we will have a fair election.

[I'm sure you will come up with a doozie of a plan, DUmmie benburch.]

Unless we come up with a plan, it is doubtful that Bush will even leave power in '08 as I'm sure he will find some hidden power to keep himself there "On an emergency basis."

[Bush plans on staying on in the White House until 2021...just like Hugo Chavez who has actually declared that he plans to stay on that long in Venezuela even though his term of office CONSTITUTIONALLY ends in a couple of years from now.]

I am currently thinking that a "labor revolution" is what we chiefly need; Slow down, be an obstructionist, strike, quit, demonstrate. Make it understood that we either have a fair election or we stop the wheels of the economy.

[WOO! HOO! I was hoping you would come thru with something truely wackie, benburch, and you have REDEEMED yourself beautifully!!!]

I said it would have to be labor to bring these felons down
before the 2004 election. You and I are on the same wave length. However, since then labor has gotten weaker, especially since people desperate for jobs are willing to work for less because the jobs that were formerly union are being subcontracted out. I see it happening in my own county here.

It's a lot like the Third Reich. Hitler brought some sort of prosperity to Germany, but it was hand to mouth prosperity. I'm wondering when we are going to get jobs increases like this in the future, work but for lousy wages.

[It will happen right after Albert Speer is installed as the Secretary of Commerce.]

Hand to mouth economy is the key point here- Most Americans are already struggling to"put food on their families" as our modern
day Antoinette so blithely quipped some years ago.The day to day living standard has become so precarious for so many that they have given up on issues like healthcare, education and other social structures imperative to an empowered citizenry. They are just trying to survive the escalating cost of living in an escalating outsourced economy. The multi national corporates are not paying taxes into the economy, they are hiding their money in offshore accounts, which is what they have been doing in other countries they operatein for YEARS. They are now doing it here, thanks to Clinton and Bush. Most people would be completely ruined if they lost a paycheck under the new credit card laws and bankruptcy laws. There will be no uprising- people are too exhausted by their struggle to keep afloat. We are heading for a national Katrina-ville. It won't happen overnight- it will be gradual and systematic. It is already evident to anyone paying attention, as many on DU are.

[Pray for a 1930s type Depression to bring down Bush!]

The BFEE is the tip of the global chicanery iceberg, so to speak. It is what is under the water that buoys them that we must defeat, and that is not going to be easy with a population too beaten down by day to day living to even think about such things.

[The BFEE is just 10 stomach filling potatoes away from being defeated.]

The Robertsons and Falwells, the Kennedys and the Dobsons can always be counted on to do their utmost to support this failed regime by offering pie-in-the-sky-when-you-die, promising people that paradise awaits them no matter how awful things become here.

[I'm looking forward to my 72 virgins in Paradise.]

I honestly think they can only go so far with that crap.
When Mr. White Redneck is looking at pawning his Game Cube to buy food for his kids because his job was outsourced, when he's drowning in credit card debt and the rules just keep getting tighter, when he's in danger of losing his house, when almost everyone he knows is laid off and those pitiful tiny tax breaks are just a distant memory (as they are already---and tiny because he isn't wealthy), the gay/religion thing can only go so far.

[I'll trade you my Game Cube for two potatoes.]

If, for instance, all labor unions would encourage their rank and file to use an absentee paper ballot, compelling their being hand-counted, the number would be nationally significant, given labor's propensity to vote.

[Too bad that labor unions only constitute a small percentage of the total workforce nowadays my Living-In-The-Past DUmmie.]

The destruction that the elite have perpetuated
on the global economy and power structure will take decades to reverse- and unfortunately, I do not believe for one minute that
impeaching Bush would stop the forward motion of
the neocon agenda. They would simply replace him with
another member of their elite circle, who knows, maybe
someone even worse.I think we should prepare ourselves for that
possibility. These people are playing for keeps and really don't care how many of us become collateral damage in the expansion of the emipre.I don't think that is a defeatist view- I think it is a realistic assessment.

[A realistic assessment as viewed thru a Bolshevik lens.]

In the over all sense, if you break it down and look at the
odds, there are basically three or four distinct groups in the population.

1. Those who have no clue and still think this is about fighting "evil."

2. Those who have a clue, but still don't fully understand.

3. Those who COMPLETELY understand and refuse to go down quietly.

4 Those who completely understand and will do what it takes to survive.

[5. Those who are completely clueless and will continue to unwittingly contribute fantastic DUFU material. (Don't forget about those Bloggie Awards Nominations.)]

What upsets me is that there's people around here who feel like we shouldn't even try it at all. That's the same as saying you've been defeated when you haven't even gone up for a challenge.

[Don't you hear the BFEE soundtruck outside? "GIVE UP! YOU HAVE NO HOPE! ALL YOUR VOTES BELONG TO DIEBOLD!!]

The Patriot Acts, the Executives Orders being passed
in the still of the night along with increased narrowing of those who control the use of technology are all factors in why some people may just become too overwhelmed to fight- and simply choose to do what they need to to survive and take care of their immediate circle of loved ones.

[You're going to need to trade your Game Cube for potatoes just so your loved ones can survive.]

I believe that congress will not impeach Bush, unless they see firsthand how many people want dimson out of office. And the only was to do this is with massive protests and marches on Washington. Congress doesn't think there is enough anti Bush sentiment, and they don't believe the level com communication the net & blogs provide. I propose doing two things at the same time: have a "blog march" on Washington in the Spring. Spread the word on all blogs and get a million or so to march to remove Bush from office.

[Blog March On Washington. The THIRD Day when Everything Finally Changed.]

There is just no way that a repuke congress is going to impeach a repuke president. To believe it is going to happen is like believing a the flat earth society, or the Easter Bunny, or Santa Claus.

[I BEEEEELEEEEVE in the Easter Bunnie! I even saw a Big Blue Easter Bunnie who looked like Lurch during the 2004 campaign. I BEEEEEEEELEEEEEEVE!!!]

Oh yes, he WILL be impeached!
After the Democrats win back the House and Senate in November.

[Having those visions of the Easter BUnnie again, eh?]

As I said, I support a worker's revolt. There are limits to what he can do when people will simply not cooperate with the system. He can send out strikebreakers, and he can kill some of us, but if we have the resolve to be unmoved, then that method will bring him down eventually. We all know that most Americans disapprove of him. If we could get even a third of all Americans to slow down, obstruct, strike, walk off, quit, and protest, then we have them by the balls.

[What will be YOUR contribution to the worker's revolt, DUmmie benburch? Shutting off your computer?]

Worker's revolt? Hell Ben... I can't even get the parents at my kid's school to protest the illegal actions of the administration at the school!

[That's a scene I would LOVE to see---You trying to get parents at your kid's school protesting against Bush at the school. Did they isolate you in a quiet schoolroom after you made a fool of yourself?]

Bush's own party will probably hurry up and impeach him just so they won't lose the White House in the '06 elections by impeachment when they all get replaced in 2007.

[Make up your minds. First we hear that there is absolutely no chance of impeaching Bush. Now we are hearing that the Democrats can sit back and relax because the Republicans themselves will do the job for them. I want to know since I need to figure out whether I'll have to trade my Game Cube for food.]

I like the labor revolution, though.

[Me too! It's the FUnniest of all the bizarre scenarios.]

please, don't say he'll never be impeached. it's one of the few things i live for!

[Hang in there pardner! We will continue to give you false hope!]

This time "Do a Ukraine"!

[Wear an orange tutu in public!]

Wow...defeatism, CT, fantasy, and empty call for revolution all... rolled up into one post. Perhaps it is time for YOU to give up, Ben.

[Shhh! Don't discourage benburch! He is a valued source of rich comedy material. So much so that I consider him one of the key factors in getting the DUFUs nominated for Most Humorous Weblog for the 2006 Bloggies Awards. Oh, and may I have your nomination vote?]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-02-06 (Even Leftists Laugh At Pied Piper Pitt)

One of the geat mysteries of Pied Piper (William Rivers) Pitt's recent ATTACK upon me for taking him up on his CASH Bounty Challenge was his accusation that I was a former "bosom" buddy DUmmie he knew who, as a member of the DNC, attended the Democrat 2004 convention in Boston. Of course, Pitt knows full well that anybody with the screen name of DUmmie FUnnies (which is how I identified myself to him) would be Tombstoned from DUmmieland within about 5 seconds of registering there. And since he clearly heard my voice, he would know that we never met before. So why the BIZARRE accusation? Well, after doing a little searching on the Web, it appears that DUmmileand is about the ONLY place on the Web where the ponderous pontificating Pitt gets any sort of respect (although even in DUmmieland there are some naysayers). If you check out the majority of leftwing sites such as Daily Kos (where Pitt's pathetic September rally was castigated as an embarrassing failure), Capitol Hill Blue, and on many forum such as the Progessive Independent Forum featured on this THREAD titled, "Partisans (William Rivers Pitt) can't be journalists." Yes, it turns out that Pitt's big fear isn't EVIL Rightwingers like Yours Truly. It is his fellow LEFTWINGERS that Pitt is most upset about because it his OWN KIND who are casting aspersions upon his veracity. Therefore, Pitt, despite knowing where Yours Truly was coming from, decided to rewrite it in such a way that I was a betraying Leftist Trotsky to his Stalin. So let us now bestow a Mass Kewpie Doll on all these Leftists who actually do have a bit of mental clarity when it comes to realizing what a FRAUD Pied Piper Pitt is. However, even though these Leftwingers do have clarity of thought regarding Pitt, knowing where they are coming from I must still quote them in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, declaring that he is not now nor has he ever been a member of the DNC, is in the [brackets]:

Partisans (William Rivers Pitt) can't be journalists

[You not only knocked Pied Piper Pitt but about 95% of all journalists.]

By DOUG THOMPSON
Nov 20, 2005, 09:27

[Doug Thompson of Capitol Hill Blue. Okay, Doug, your credentials are verified. You definitely are a Leftwinger. Now tell us about Pitt...Hee! Hee!]

Normally, I don’t pay much attention to the patter on Internet bulletin boards – particularly extreme partisan boards like Free Republic on the right or Democratic Underground on the left.

[The big diffence between those boards is that the Free Republic postings are SANE but continue Doug...]

But a reader sent me a link the other day to a post on DU by William Rivers Pitt, a self-proclaimed guardian of all things Democratic and liberal:

[Pied Piper Pitt does tend to do a lot of self-proclaiming and ponderous pontificating. Continue...]

“As far as I am concerned, CHB's bread and butter is telling people things they wished were true, instead of telling people what is actually true,” Pitt said. “Publications like this give the entire alt-media a big black eye.”

[Pot calling Kettle black...]

He went on to add: “They have never, not once, quoted a source by name.”

[FUnnie Pitt but the source of THIS story IS being named. Maybe you are embarrassed at being quoted word for word.]

Pitt, for those of you who don’t spend time reading the left wing side of the partisan political divide, served as managing editor the liberal commentary site truthout.org and currently serves as a “writer and editorial director” of Progressive Democrats of America. He taught English lit and journalism at some trendy private school near Boston and his father is chairman of the Democratic Party in Louisiana.

[Shame on you, Doug, for neglecting to mention that Pied Piper Pitt has served as an unending source of comedy material for the DUmmie FUnnies.]

Frankly, I’d expect a former teacher to show more accuracy in what he writes but then I’m dealing with a writer to admittedly flaks for a partisan point of view. That is the real problem with alternative media today – the belief that such media must represent a certain point of view to do its job.

[What you don't understand, Doug, is that Pitt has a much superior intellect than the rest of us peons. Pitt has the astounding ability to perfectly quote LOOOOOONG blocks of conversation WORD FOR WORD days after the event WITHOUT the use of a tape recorder.]

The role of a journalist, Findley Peter Dunne wrote, is “to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” I was a journalist with several years of experience, a dozen awards and a war under my belt before Billy Pitt crawled out of his mother’s womb.

[Big deal, Doug. You still can't perfectly quote long blocks of conversation WORD FOR WORD. Don't even try comparing yourself to the Mighty Pitt.]

He claims my bread and butter is “telling people things they wished were true.” Got news for you Billy boy. We raised questions about the Iraq war when 84 percent of the lemmings out there waved the flag and chanted the pro-war chorus and most of the members of your own party voted to give George W. Bush the authority to wage that war.

[LOL! "Telling people things they wished were true." That sounds like about every other thread in DUmmieland... Now on to the Pithy Pitt observations by the Progressive Independent Forum Leftists...]

I'm going to say it. I'm not going to hold back and protocol be damned. Will Pitt, public figure, is a crass impediment to any political progress.

[Which from the conservative point of view is actually a GOOD thing. I mean, everything Pitt touches turns to lead... BOTH Days When Everything Finally Changed plus lots of other flops.]

Pitt was a DLC supporter who realized where the bread was buttered during the primaries so he pretended to be supporting Kucinich while all the time pumping up DLC Kerry. Want to know the real deal about Pitt? Ask the Kucinich HQs why he suddenly was no longer their spokesperson after a month on board and then ask RichM and several progressives here & at DU what evidence they turned over to the Kucinich HQs about his duplicity.

[Those Ben Franklins speak louder than words.]

His self proclaimed profundities
are really fat rotundities.
His words too thick to see through
show what he has to say.
The content makes no difference
as long as the circumference
is large enough to block the view
of those who look his way.

[I'm tempted to say...LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

"He became anti-occupation when Cindy Sheehan nailed his ass." WP had written an essay on why America needed to stay the course. I believe it was just before or after the sham Iraqi elections. (Not so very long ago.) Cindy very publically corrected him and told him what a disservice he was doing to the anti-war movement. WP backpedaled, explained what he "really" meant, and has now become anti-occupation since birth. Here is Cindy's response to a column by WP. It was picked up by much of the alternative media.

http://www.antiwar.com/blog/index.php?id=P1908

[WOW! Thanx for the link, Mr. Leftist. That attack on Pitt explains why he was so desperate to visit that Texas Ditch and get back in Cindy's good graces. Pitt needed to maintain his "credibility" with his fellow Leftist Loons. The following are some of the quotes from Cindy's attack on him:]

"Dear Will, "

"...I think you have already made up your mind that our troops need to remain in Iraq..which is very sad. This is in response to your blog question yesterday and your answer to antiwar.com today."

"...Also, your views have the effect of invalidating what I, my organization, Gold Star Families for Peace, and other peace groups are doing to bring our troops home immediately, if not sooner."

[Sheesh! No wonder Pitt was so desperate to ingratiate himself with Cindy Sheehan after receiving that public bitch slapping.]

We all are evolving .....That includes Mr. Pitt. It' a learning curve and I give him a wide birth at this point.

[And I'll give Mr. Pitt a wide berth.]

I gave up on Will over a year ago after giving him the benefit of the doubt for the full year before that. I even helped cover for him when he was suddenly released from the Kucinich campaign by making a few lying posts to the effect that it had never been meant to be a long-term assignment and only a short project because I felt bad about anyone using that to kick Pitt while he was down-

[Lying to protect Pitt? Where have we heard this before?]

many good tombstoned DUers' hearts were in the right place...why is Pitt's heart so extra special?

[Because he is intellectually SUPERIOR to the rest of us. Do you have the ability to accurately quote word for word LOOOONG blocks of conversation sans tape recorder at least a day after the event? If not, then don't criticize the Almighty Pitt.]

WRP, in case anyone hasn't guessed by now, is not someone I hold in any esteem. Kephra comes to mind. As do the war apologetics, the drunken public spectacles and the Kerry shilling. I have no place in my heart for calculating opportunists trying to make a buck or a name off the antiwar movement. Especially not as they beat up more committed activists like Kephra to get there.

["Drunken public spectacles?" You obviously know Pitt well.]

Pit joined the swarm that gave me the heave ho at DU. Lemmings."

[And now you know the reason for his full name: Pied Piper Pitt---leading the DUmmie lemmings off the leftwing cliff.]

What was the story with Kucinich. I had pangs of real trepidation when Pitt announced he was joining Kucinich...which I held in check.

[Bottom line: Kucinich didn't have as many disposable Franklins as Kerry, oops, I mean Mrs. Heinz.]

At the time I figured that Kucinich's people were perfectly capable of vetting their choices of hired staff, even if I had my own misgivings based on what I knew of WP's consistent backing of Kerry and DLC talking points. It was all in plain sight for anyone with eyes to see...though Will is a cameleon so you have to watch closely.

[I've always thought of Pitt as a snake but I ACCEPT your characterization of him as a "cameleon." (Is that a camel that can change colors?)]

For the record - I have been untrusting and pissed at Pitt since his early attacks on Gore and his hyping of Skull and Boneser Kerry at DU going way back. But the coup de grace was when Pitt stabbed me in the back when I was set up and impersonated at DU on election night 2004 when someone stole my name and impersonated me. I sent Pitt my personal info including references - asking for his help in getting me reinstated at DU -- and he STILL went on the boards and claimed I sounded like one freeper named TLBShow.

[Was your DUmmie screen name "DUmmie FUnnies?"]

It was a PM Pitt sent me that unwittingly gave me further insight into what really happened. In that PM he basically turned the tables on Kucinich saying DK was an impossible person to work for and had a nasty temper (projection is what I call that after knowing them both because I witnessed Will's nastiness online more than once and never once witnessed or even heard about anything nasty from DK). But you, I'd have an incredibly nasty reaction too if I learned my Press Secretary was pumping up another candidate while working on my campaign and signing his posts "Press Secretary for Kucinich".

[Hmmm... It sounds like Pitt was attempting to grab a few extra Kucinich Jacksons while pocketing Kerry's (Mrs. Heinz's) Franklins.]

In many posts he makes he does not revisit often unless he is thoroughly adulated or thoroughly challenged.

[Or thoroughly inebriated.]

It's all about Will.

[But of course!]

Consider the hypocrisy of this juvenile hack: he wangled for himself a 3-week stint as Dennis Kucinich's press secretary, even while being a Kerry supporter at the time. He wangled for himself the chance to co-author a pamphlet with Scott Ritter, yet solidly backed the pro-war Kerry in the campaign. So he's collecting antiwar brownie points for his resume, while his real sympathies lie with being an apologist for pro-war Democrats. Ugh.

[It's called Triangulating For Cash.]

Was he really named William "Rivers" Pitt at birth, or did he add the middle name later for dramatic effect?

[Original middle named was "Soused."]

When WRP picks up a bottle, he really needs to put down the keyboard and phone. He's a real obnoxious drunk.

[My turn to defend Pitt. He is just as obnoxious sober.]

I don't know why Pitt picked that fight with CHB...but Pitt drinks Scotch and gets in "moods" where he trashes and attacks folks...

[Judging from Pitt's attack on me (actually on a Phantom Judas DUmmie), veracity is also not part of Pitt's "mood."]

Pitt is a plagiarizer and cannot be trusted. Pitt used my friend, the late Kephra, to do his research. Pitt never gave Kef any credit. When Kef became distraught about the way the DLC maneuvered the primary season to ensure one of their guys got the the nomination, Pitt attacked Kef for his lack of loyalty. Pitt's attacks were personal and relentless. I don't think Kef got over that!

[It looks like Pitt has established the correct credentials to work for the Joe Biden campaign. BTW, are you the SAME IndianGreen who used to be a DUmmie Moderator? Did Pitt and Skinner Tombstone you from DUmmie Paradise?]

Keph never got over that. We talked shortly before he passed away and he was still sick, heart-broken, about the treatment he got from Pitt. If it's any comfort to you as Keph's friend, he didn't die fooled.

[Backstabbed by Pitt but at least he found out who was plunging the dagger.]

Skinner came to Kef's funeral. Pitt did not show his face! I don't think Pitt would have received a warm welcome from the DUers present at the funeral, particularly the Hoosier DUers who were rather ticked off at Pitt to begin with. I believe he did send a planter.

[A planter? That Pitt is all heart!]

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