Tuesday, January 31, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 01-31-06 ("I'm calling for political CIVIL WAR in the Democratic Party...")

WARNING! DUmmieland is now in total MELTDOWN Mode. Despite the assurances yesterday from benburch that they really won, the DUmmies are incredibly angry as you can see in this THREAD titled, "I'm calling for political CIVIL WAR in the Democratic Party..." Of course there are many similar Meltdown threads so I had a RICH target of opportunity today. The DUmmie Bounty has indeed been plentiful since the coming of the Apocalito. I expect it will be even more so tomorrow after the State of the Union Address where the DUmmies, as a fringe benefit, will have to view newly sworn in Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito sitting in the front row with the other Justices. And since Alito now has a LIFETIME appointment, he no longer has to worry about being polite so it would be great if he would blow a kiss to Ted Kennedy just to watch the veins on The Swimmer's neck pop out. In any event, let us now be royally entertained by the current DUmmie Meltdown in Boiling Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thanking the DUmmies for all the great Meltdown Audition Material, is in the [brackets]:

I'm calling for political CIVIL WAR in the Democratic Party...


I say we get the 25 with guts together in a room with DNC chair Howard Dean, and all the base who can come, and we, before taking back our country, take back our damned party. If we keep electing Dems just to get a majority, and they keep voting like this, what's the damned point? Either they're with us or they're against us. Period.

[While you're in that room with Dean, you might want to ask him how he blew all those millions of Democrat campaign money.]



[Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! rage! blow!
You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout
Till you have drench'd our steeples, drown'd the cocks!
You sulphurous and thought-executing fires,
Vaunt-couriers to oak-cleaving thunderbolts,
Singe my white head! And thou, all-shaking thunder,
Smite flat the thick rotundity o' the world!
Crack nature's moulds, an germens spill at once,
That make ingrateful man!]

it is the right time--the momenta is with us.

[Act now! In the moment of your "victory" (as per benburch).]

Let's make those cowards rue the day they...
took us for granted. They don't get our votes just because they have a damned (D) beside their name. It doesn't mean anything anymore. You're right...IT'S TIME!!!

[John Kerry (D-Davos)]

I say we should send our DINOs over to the Republican party. Let the R's spend their money trying to keep our DINOs in place while we run real Democrats against them.

[My favorite DINO sang "That's Amore!"]

For me, it's either FIGHT to get our party back and have a real opposition party, or never vote again.

[On the plus side, you will be having extra free time on Election Day.]

Will the Democratic party suddenly grow a pair and begin impeachment proceedings just because they have the majority?

[We got knocked off our feet by the ApocAlito so...LET THE CHIMPEACHMENT BEGIN!!!]

Political Civil War. I'm putting on the DEMOCRATIC BLUE UNIFORM.

[With the yellow EQUAL SIGN (=) shoulder patch.]

I think Kerry and Kennedy ought to offer...
up legislation in the mean time CODIFYING Roe v. Wade, and privacy rights, so that it doesn't matter any more who sits on the supreme court. It's time to fight for PRINCIPLE instead of party.

[That would be the equivalent of performing an abortion on the Democrat party.]

Yes, I'm furious for getting kicked in the gut again today, but I'll eventually get out my checkbook and give money to Governor Dean...

[...so he can flush the funds down the toilet AGAIN.]

It's time Howard raised the stakes in this poker game.

[He already lost a big pot by betting on an inside straight.]



We haven't heard much from Howard Dean...
where does he stand on this exactly?

[In the Northeast corner of the Rubber Room.]

. I hadn't heard yet either...but, he works for US...not the other way around. This civil war only takes place if WE demand it....we tell him, you can be the general, or not. Your choice...WE ARE TAKING BACK OUR PARTY!! I think we give the ultimatum. And, I believe he'll be with us.

[You're a bit upset so Mommy will be sliding your pizza through the basement door slot tonight.]

I'm all for cleaning house! Do you suppose Howard Dean truly has what it takes to kick some traitor Democratic Senate butt?

[Don't you worry! Howard Dean packs a mighty powerful Butterfly Net.]

WE NEED OUR OWN PARTY!!!!! A DIFFERENT, MORE PROGRESSIVE PARTY......WITH BALLS TO STAND UP AND FIGHT! I say we get Paul Hackett or someone like him, to lead the exodus from this pathetic excuse of a party..

[The Socialist Workers Party heartily welcomes you.]

The time has come for a party split. Progressive Democrats can more effectively leverage our numbers if we take the 20 odd senators and 80 or so reps and form a new party with better discipline and a unified party platform.

[Let the Bolivaran Revolution Begin!!!]

Hell, there might even be a few republicans...
who would switch to such a party.

[I think his name is John McCain.]

Monday, January 30, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 01-30-06 ("Why we won today" ---benburch)

There were a lot of weird DUmmie postings on the heels of the FAILURE of the Alito filibuster attempt. However, the STRANGEST of the postings has to go to benburch who posted on this DUmmie THREAD, "Why we won today." Yeah, great win there, benburch. Oh, and did you know that John Kerry really won in 2004? And I suppose you are sitting in the backyard still waiting for the arrival of the Great Pumpkin and Fitzmas. Yes, all DUmmieland is in a deep funk but leave it to DUmmie benburch to find some silver lining in their septic tank. So let us now allow DUmmie benburch entertain us with this "WIN" in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who wonders if the Coyote considers it a win everytime the ACME Co. package explodes in his face, is in the [brackets]:

Why we won today.

[Didn't the captain of the Titanic claim the same thing as his ship slipped beneath the waves?]

I know what you are thinking; "Has Ben finally gone around the bend? We lost today. Alito is on the bench to destroy America."

[Actually I thought benburch went around the bend LONG ago.]

But we did win, and I'll tell you how;

[And NOW the comedy starts...]

Eight days ago, there was no opposition to Alito whatsoever. No filibuster was planned, and even had one been started, there was not a chance in hell that anybody but the one Senator to propose it would vote against cloture. The Far Right had just had "Justice Sunday" an illegal use of the pulpit to promote a political agenda which they spent millions of dollars on in order to motivate their zombie-like zealots, and it looked like no opposition was even possible.

[BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Just 24 Democrats plus Jumpin' Jim vote for the filibuster and THAT is a victory? You're on a roll, benburch!]

In that eight days, we worked a miracle; We got the man who was elected President in the last stolen election to declare that he was going to filibuster, and we got MANY (I don't have the final count) Democratic Senators to vote NAY on cloture. We organized a campaign entirely through our resources here on the Internet, and swamped every fax machine and phone line in Washington DC and elsewhere with our message to vote against Alito and against cloture. We have proven that we can motivate and act with little money and few resources a campaign that nearly set the massively funded GOP Fascist Juggernaut on its ear.

[Yes, tremendous filibuster attempt by John Kerry (D-Davos) from the Swiss ski slopes. He got only a little over half of the Democrats to go along with the filibuster. But but continue with your win spin...]

And we learned who our friends are; Those Senators, bloggers, and broadcasters who stood by us, or who were honest enough to be convinced by us to support our Cause deserve our praise and unending support in the dark days to come.

[You also had tremendous support from the sanity-challenged community.]

As for our enemies; All of the GOP Fascists and those Quislings who voted Aye on cloture, we now know your names. We know your districts, and we will see each and every one of you defeated in turn.

[Great. Turn on your fellow Democrats who voted Aye on cloture. Eat your own party alive. Oh, and congrats on the "WIN."]

The fight is before us.

[This fight already left the station this afternoon.]

It may be a dark and literally deadly struggle for some of us, but it must be fought and fought with the sort of tenacity that I saw in these last blessed days. Let the last week be remembered as the week we first stood as one, and not the last.

[I prefer to think of it as YET another case of Lucy pulling the football away from you AGAIN.]

Comrades! Are you with me in the fight to take back America?

[Sure. Why end the comedy tour? It is proving great material for the DUmmie FUnnies. And now to read about your DUmmie comrades jubilantly celebrating this "WIN!"]

You are right, Ben, and we now know the score.

[The score: 74 to 25. Congrats on your tremendous "WIN!"]

I have always tried to be a "my glass is half-full" kinda gal. It has been rather hard these past years but words like yours give one hope...again.

[NEWSFLASH! Your glass is completely EMPTY.]

Look, I am not flaming you, but I couldn't disagree more. When the supreme court goes hard right on every ruling because of Alito, are you going to think of this day as a victory?

[Absolutely! Isn't this "WIN" just wonderful? Let us all CELEBRATE this "WIN" with DUmmie benburch!]

but of course they won. i was in it for three days, night and day, felt good to think we might have a chance. but really, reality..... we never had a chance. dems tried, grassroots grew, and we have about a third of dems we can count on and work with. we know who to go to

[HEY! Come on! Put on your party hat! Let's all join DUmmie benburch in celebrating this "WIN!"]

I think the Repubs will be plenty happy winning battles overwhelmingly even if they never anticipated the battle.

[True. The Alito battle was enjoyable made even more so by the salsa spice of the doomed Democrat filibuster struggle thrown in.]

They are gloating!! Ted Kennedy spoke about an article in the paper where the Repug's were gloating all over the place. He quoted something like them saying, "We've got them boxed in." I shouldn't be surprised. I an't stand this.

[True. We are GLOATING as evidenced by you all being featured in this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies. However, one difference between us and you DUmmies. We gloat only AFTER the WIN takes place not before when based on phony exit polls.]

It was a long shot, and we didn't get the result we wanted. But we now know who we can trust, and who we cannot.

[PURGE the Democrat AYE voters! Eat your own!!!]

Same shit different day.

[Same Lucy football. Pulled away every day.]

Kerry went on vacation. We got hung out to dry.
And we did, again, today. How many times do they get to f*ck us over before we call it what it is and say ENOUGH

[John Kerry (D-Davos) has your back.]

this is good stuff. i am not depressed, i am impressed. yes i am. right there with you dude

[Better take another hit on that good stuff, dude, before reality kicks back in.]

The Democrat Party: Always Too Little Too Late. I do not share your optimism.

[But you must. You MUST! Put on a Happy Face. WHEEEEEE!!! It was a "WIN!!!"]

I love your optimism Ben, but I feel like shit...I feel like I did all I could, but could I have done more?

[Yes! You could have put on a phony benburch smile in celebration of this "WIN!"]

Dust off, drink a pint, and plan for the next battle.

[And take a hit on the crack pipe.]

Goodbye, America. It was nice knowing you.

[Goodbye, Mr. Optimist.]

Where's a St. Crispin's day speech when you need one?

[Since you guys got fried today, A St. Crispy speech would be more appropriate.]

I will not yield. I'm in it to the end. Let those who don't have the stomach for this long term fight leave. I wouldn't die in their company if they will not stand with us.

[You're in it until the box next to your 'puter screen runs out of donuts.]

I'm with you...but you know what really pisses me off?
Knowing that those f*cks are laughing and mocking our failed effort. So smug.


that's putting frosting on dogshit.

[That's pretty much the theme of this benburch thread.]

We won because we joined the battle. We did not lay down and just take it. And we will remove Alito when we win. And we will undo much of the damage.

[Enjoying your frosting-covered dogshit, benburch? And would you mind telling us peons how a lifetime appointed Supreme Court justice can be removed?]

I am with you. We are all with you. More people than who were counted in the last election are with you. And we're going to take back America, no matter what. If we can't do it today, we'll do it tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, until the Bushiviks are disposed of.

[That frosting-covered dogshit must be very yummie!]

It's the Vichy Democrats vs. the Patriotic Democrats.

[vs. the frosting-covered dogshit Democrats.]

Maybe so, Ben but it feels to me like we got our asses kicked.
I'm getting damned tired of moral victories.

[Just take a bit out of your frosting-covered dogshit and put on a big fake smile like you enjoy it.]

Are you kidding me? I don't know what the original poster is smoking, but what happened today was not only a loss, but a catastrophic loss at that.

[Perhaps you need to coat your dogshit dinner with a bit more frosting.]

agreed I'm so SICK of this fake optimism! America is lost for good. There is no going back.

[Just for that, no frosting-covered dogshit for dessert for you!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-30-06 ("I've got IT!"---DUmmie Finds BRILLIANT Way To Defeat GOP)

Watch out, Republicans! A DUmmie "genius" by the name of Up2Late has figured out a way to defeat you at the polls. You will be impressed by the incredible effectiveness of his ingenious plan which you can see on this DUmmie THREAD titled, "I've got IT!" For those of you who will remain unimpressed by DUmmie Up2Late's brilliant strategy, I guess you can chalk it up to a severe case of Alitosis on his part. This disease is currently rampaging throughout DUmmieland. The main symptom of Alitosis is a complete loss of rational faculties accompanied by a plunge into delusional fantasies. I expect the Alitosis disease to reach its fevered peak right after the filibuster vote scheduled for later today. So let us enjoy the DUmmie outbursts of Alitosis in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, welcoming Up2Late as the Democrat version of Karl Rove, is in the [brackets]:

I've got IT! And by "It" I mean the destroy the GOP strategy, that will...leed to the self-destruction of the GOP.

[Shhh...IT! So you've got IT! Oh do tell, DUmmie Up2Late. Enlighten us with your political strategy wisdom that will "leed" to the self-destruction of the GOP.]

The only problem is, we need a brave House or Senate Democrat who is relatively unknown (nationally), is willing to take a BIG political risk, has STRONG Democratic support at home, and who wouldn't mind possibly being chosen President of the United States in 2008 by popular consensus.

[Such a downer. A Senate Democrat has to take a political risk and all he gets in exchange is a lousy job as President. Continue...]

As I'm sure you know by now, the GOP has captured a Huge number of swing/undecided voters by doing one thing: They keep their message simple, though I think they may have made it so simple as to make it VERY deceptive. Duh, right?

[At least you are correct in the "DUh" part. Continue with your political enlightenment, DUmmie Up2Late.]

Here's the strategy. The GOP message is so over simplified that it can be easily proved as LIES! So let's just call them what they are, Lairs!


[BRILLIANT! ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!!! Karl Rove is now quaking in his boots at your discovery of a campaign strategy that will sweep away forever the EVIL Republicans from the political scene!]

Now I know, some of you are going to say, "But my Brother's a Republican, and HE'S not a Lier." Shut-up! Yes he is.

[All, ALL of the EVIL Republicans are "LIERS!!!" You think different? Shut up! They are ALL "liers!!!"]

And once we plant this simple truth in the MSM and the minds of the "undecided" voters, any Republican that claims He/She is NOT a lier will have to OFFER PROOF that they are NOT a lier, which, while doing so, will expose themselves and their fellow liars/Republicans as the lier they are.

[Hey Republican! You just shut up and try to prove you are not a "lier!" Every news report about Republicans will just assume they are "liers!" Every time a Republican tries to debate a Democrat, he must first try to prove he is not a "LIER!"]

If you need any proof of the FACT that Republicans are liars, just look around. Read the News from the last 5 years, everything they have said and done for the last 5 years is ALL based on Lies!

[And we don't need no stinkin' facts because we just assume that EVERYTHING the Republicans say are just a bunch of Lies! And not only are they "liers" but they are a bunch of lousy Poo-Poo Heads too!]

Yes, we might lose a few Democrats along the way, GOOD! I say Good riddens to them. They are a taint on the Democratic party. If this results in a house cleaning of corrupt Democrats too, I welcome it.

[Good "riddens" to the Democrats who don't want to call all Republicans "liers!"]

We need to STOP explaining how what we say is the truth, because what they say is ALL Lies, and it's time that the non-committed Democrats wake up to that fact. Let them try to explain why what they say is NOT a lie, they will only dig themselves deeper and deeper into the hole they are currently in.

[We don't need to waste our time arguing with Republicans. We just call them a bunch of "liers." Let them try to deny that they are "liers," oh, and lousy Poo-Poo Heads as well.]

So, for 2008: The Democratic party: The party of the Truth.

[I will now bask in the glow of DUmmie admiration as my fellow DUmmies tell me how BRILLIANT I am.]

Everybody knows Republicans lie about everything.

[Oh, that is an indisputable fact but DUmmie Up2Late has turned that fact into a political strategy for bringing down the EVIL Republicans. Sit at the feet of the Wise One and sip at the brilliant golden cup of his sage political analysis.]

Everyone knows, but still, it's not said often enough what liars they are. We need to take the offense, and this is one of the ways. Just like the other side made the phrase "flip flop" stick, we need to make the phrase "Republican liars" a part of American vocabulary. "Fox Republican News"...Never mention the word Fox without the word Republican next to it. "Republican liars"...Never mention one word without the other. If it's said often enough and in the right places, they're automatically guilty by association

[Whenever a Republican tries to argue with you, just place your hands over your ears and scream over and over and over again: "REPUBLICAN LIARS! REPUBLICAN LIARS! REPUBLICAN LIARS!" That's the way to win arguments with those lousy Poo-Poo Heads.]

The problem, of course, is the corporate media.
Unless you have some other means of getting out the message. maybe just big billboards everywhere:


[BRILLIANT! Those billboards will absolutely convince the majority of the voters because the message is INDISPUTABLE. Way to slam the Republicans!]

It will work be cause they ARE liars, and would have to prove they...are NOT. All Politicians lie in one way or another, the difference is, Democrats do it (or should) for the greater good, Republicans lie for the select few.

[Republicans tell BAD lies and Democrats tell only GOOD lies.]

Democrats who lie, do it for the RIGHT reasons...

[All Democrat lies are GOOD lies.]

No matter what happens with Alito this week, I think we must all stay engaged and find ways to keep on being "pro-active", especially in ways that challenge the far right in a very direct way.

[Such as billboards that say: "ALL REPUBLICANS ARE LIARS!"]

Friday, January 27, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 01-27-06 ("Folks, the filibuster is dead" ---Pied Piper Pitt)

Even for Pied Piper Pitt, this is a very fast turnaround time. Yesterday, Pitt proudly posted the following thread, "Source tells me Kerry is now openly in favor of a filibuster" to much DUmmie acclaim. HOORAH! The fight is ON!!! Well, it WAS on until this morning when Pied Piper Pitt did a total turnabout with this: Folks, the filibuster is dead. Oops! Apparently the "source" Pitt so proudly cited the day before got back to him with the information that Kerry can't be bothered with leaving the Swiss ski slopes so COOL IT on the whole filibuster cheerleading shtick. Thus we have the turnaround routines AGAIN for two of the DUFU faves, Pied Piper Pitt and Mama T's Boy Toy. So let us now watch yet ANOTHER in a series of Pied Piper Pitt's infamous backtracks in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, enjoying the same ol' Pitt vaudeville act no matter how many times he performs the SAME routine, is in the [brackets]:

Folks, the filibuster is dead

[And so is any shred of Pied Piper Pitt credibility.]

It is simple math at this point.

[1+1 = 2 Heinz/Kerrys on a Swiss vacation.]

44 Democratic Senators + 1 Independent = 45

[1 Independent Jumpin' Jim with the office in the Senate bathroom.]

41 Senators needed to sustain a filibuster. That's a margin of four, assuming that Jeffords would stand with the filibuster, which is not at all certain.

[Jumpin' Jim has your back.]

Byrd, Johnson and Nelson are all voting 'aye.' Easy assumption is that they will not support a filibuster of the guy they intend to vote in favor of.

[But...but just YESTERDAY you posted in DUmmieland that just because a senator was voting 'aye' on Alito didn't necessarily mean they wouldn't join in on a filibuster. Could our insightful political analyst, Pied Piper Pipe, possibly be.....WRONG????]

We're down to 42, assuming Jeffords is with us.

[You'll be down even more than that when the final tally comes out. Way down in Jumpin' Jim's toilet.]

Biden has said he won't support a filibuster. So has Landrieu. Akaka and Dorgan support cloture.

[And with Byrd, Johnson, and Nelson that takes you down to 40. Game over.]

That's it. Game over. 41 is unachievable.

[To Achieve the Unachievable Dream... Thus Pied Piper Pitt got himself entangled in ANOTHER windmill.]

This was a noble effort on the part of our activists here, but I think it is time to turn out the lights and try to enjoy a well-earned rest this weekend.

[Yet, LESS than 24 hours ago it was Pied Piper Pitt who was the main filibuster cheerleader in DUmmieland with his post about John Kerry having your back.]

Either that, or keep writing, faxing and calling to register your disgust to the last moment.

[Beat your heads against the wall to the last moment.]

But it is what it is.

[Thus Pied Piper Pitt slinks away into the sunset with his tail between his legs...AGAIN. And now on to his not-so-loyal DUmmie acolytes.]

Then the Democratic Party is also DEAD

[RIP Rats!]

It's been good knowing ya, Will. Time for paths to diverge...

[Thus spaketh Walt Starr while casting Pitt into DUmmie Purgatory.]

This is your way of welching on our bet?!?
You owe me THIRTY F*CKING DAYS of "alcibiades_mystery made me his bitch" as a signature line, f*cker, and you ain't getting off that easy. Either you start running it now through the confirmation, or you are a f*cking bet-welcher of first magnitude, no f*cking lie.

[Hmmm... Perhaps I should moderate this dispute between DUmmie alcibiades_mystery and DUmmie Walt Starr. What was the nature of the bet? Details please so I can ascertain whether Walt Starr should be the personal bitch of alcibiades_mystery.]

That bet is not over yet. When it is, I'll keep my word. I'll come back and I'll change my signature line IF I LOSE!. Of course, it'll only show up in archives, but hell, I'll have met the conditions of the bet. And hell, I'll leave it in the sig line for good!

[The pool game is over when Fats says it's over... I came after him and I'm gonna get him. I'm going with him all the way.]

I have to stop thinking about this because it's too early to drink.

[Does Bukowski's serve breakfast beer?]

Walt, you can just go away with this gloom and doom talk!

[No, stick around Walt and be alcibiades_mystery's bitch.]

Don't worry, looks like next Monday at 4:30
I won't have any reason to be here any longer any way.

[Is that the time of your Heaven's Gate appointment, Walt?]

You have a way to overcome mathematics?
The bodies aren't there.

[If I were you, Pitt, I would cool it with the talk about bodies. Especially student bodies.]

They could change their minds though. I can't lose hope until it's over. I just can't. Perhaps Byrd would vote yes on Alito but no on cloture.

[More likely that the Mother Ship will land and swoop you away before that happens.]

and if I recall Will, were you quite ready to embrace the compromise that would avoid the nuclear option? That wasn't even a compromise, that was a caving in. In fact I am not even sure what the purpose of this thread is. Are you trying to demoralize people who want to fight and express their disent? Isn't that what has been done to us for the last six years?

[Thank you, Pitt, for your NUMEROUS but HILARIOUS demoralization threads.]

This isn't about that compromise. This is about a straight-up nose count. The noses aren't there. I am sorry if stating basic math is demoralizing. Pretend I didn't say it, and ride the crest of uptimism right up until the gavel falls, if such an action suits you. I can count.]

[Pitt can count. One accuser. Two accusers. Three accusers. Four...]

Call me hopelessly optimistic, or eternally hopeful, but I will hope.


I know you work really hard for truth, and I'll never question your integrity, but this was not constructive.

[Perhaps Pitt wasn't constructive but with his quick filibuster turnaround time, he was FUnnie!!!]

I've made more phone calls and typed more emails than I have in the last 12 years. I'd bet that goes for hundreds or thousand of fellow DUers. I don't believe Senator Kerry would ask that of us if he didn't have knowledge that he had the votes to at least sustain a filibuster, nuke option be damned.

[Actually, Kerry has no problem asking that of you as long as it doesn't interfere with his Swiss ski vacation.]

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

[No, Bluto. It wasn't.]

Akaka and Dorgan support cloture as well.
This was over before it started.

[Point. Set. GAME!]

Tell Howard Dean to Pack up the tent! I think Dean is great, but he has failed to organize this Party!


F*ck the Beltway Dems, f*ck the DLC, f*ck the DSCC and the DCCC. F*ck the "consultants". F*ck the whiners and chokers. Work with us and kick these mofos out the door.

damn right. we have to now to help kerry not face total humiliation and ridicule. we put him there. damn.......

[Especially the ridicule.]

i want..... the f*ckin repugs out. i want my life back. and for dems to continually take down the dems........ is f*ckin with my want. at least kerry has hillary and kennedy and a few more. that is good of them to stand with him. now lets watch the people on this board attack kerry some more. and the media.

[Yeah. Hillary has Kerry's back... (snort!)]

boy that was fast , less than a 24 hours buzz and it's over.

[That's pretty much the duration of a typical Pied Piper Pitt Scoop Cycle.]

The optimist in me says Kerry simply did the right thing, and earned the respect of the base by doing so. The cynic in me says he did this knowing it was doomed, but wanted to revive his standing with the base in hopes for an '08 run. Political theater and all.

Either way, Kerry comes out of this stronger.

[Kerry comes out STRONGER by cynically supporting the filibuster in plain sight just to boost his base for '08? And what have you been drinking lately at Bukowski's, Pitt?]

While I don't hold the same view that it's over yet, Will, even I am trying not to be cynical that Kerry is grandstanding.

[You're just on the verge of WINNING a Kewpie Doll!]

JK has nothing to lose politically--and maybe something to gain--by supporting filibuster. He plays to his base just like all the others do. He picked up a few points among people like us. People that didn't like him before still don't like him. People on the fence probably aren't paying attention. At best, a zero-sum game.

[And people that laughed at Kerry before STILL laugh at him.]

A filibuster was shooting the moon. We came damned close.

[I beg to differ, Pitt. A filibuster was more like shooting the foot.]

Well, it is certainly a good idea to face the reality of the situation. A little dose of "probably" to help stave off, or at least modify all the anguished drama, rending of robes, and hair-tearing that is bound to come with failure. The drama that sadistic trolls so love to observe here on DU.

["Hee! Hee!" chuckled the sadistic troll.]

Even IF this is over we need to continue to be annoying

[The ONE thing you are successful at.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-27-06 ("Source tells me Kerry is now openly in favor of a filibuster" ---Pitt)

EVERYTHING you need to know about John Kerry's LAUGHABLE "effort" to organize a filibuster attempt against the confirmation of Samuel Alito as Supreme Court justice can be summed up in the first paragraph of this New York Times ARTICLE:

WASHINGTON, Jan 26 — Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts could not attend the Senate debate on the Supreme Court nomination of Judge Samuel A. Alito Jr. on Thursday. He was in Davos, Switzerland, mingling with international business and political leaders at the World Economic Forum.

Yeah, this filibuster is so vitally important that Kerry won't even be leaving the Swiss ski slopes to organize it. John Kerry has your back...on the ski lift. Read Robert Caro's EXCELLENT book, Master of the Senate, to find out how a true pro, Lyndon B. Johnson, operated when he was Majority Leader of the Senate. Whether you might have agreed or disagreed with his politics, Johnson has been recognized as the greatest Senate leader in terms of actually getting things DONE. He NEVER tried any dopey last minute attempts to change a vote outcome. Johnson would work for weeks in ADVANCE up close with Senators. It is impossible to imagine Johnson phoning in his vote pleas to senators while vacationing on South Padre Island. Therefore, I would like to thank John Kerry for offering a bit of last minute comedic relief in the Samuel Alito confirmation. Meanwhile Pied Piper Pitt tried to convince the DUmmies yesterday that he had some sort of Kerry filibuster scoop as you can read in his THREAD titled, "Source tells me Kerry is now openly in favor of a filibuster." Unfortunately for Pitt, his "scoop" turned out to be NOTHING NEW as one could easily have read a few paragraphs down in the same Times article:

Mr. Kerry has been rallying his supporters against the nomination for weeks in mass e-mail messages and on his Web site. And when the Democratic caucus met Wednesday to discuss the nomination, he gave an impassioned plea that the party should try to stage a filibuster even if it failed, people present said, speaking only if granted anonymity because the meeting was private. Some senators at the meeting said an unsuccessful filibuster would leave the party weakened for future battles.

So let us now watch Pied Piper Pitt, along with his fellow DUmmies, bask in the glow of Pitt's STALE scoop about John Kerry organizing a filibuster from the Swiss ski slopes in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching Kerry's filibuster comedy act from atop a ski lift, is in the [brackets]:

Source tells me Kerry is now openly in favor of a filibuster

[John Kerry has your back...on the Swiss ski lift.]

The message:


"Kerry is now publicly in support of a filibuster and he is currently working with colleagues in the Senate to get the necessary support - 41 votes"

[Kerry's fellow senators will certainly be impressed with Kerry phoning in his filibuster support from Switzerland.]

Looking for added info to support this.

[Try reading the newspapers or the Web, Pitt. They already reported that Kerry tried to organize a filibuster attempt on Wednesday, a full day before your stale "scoop."]

Boy, If He Can Pull This Off, I'd Give Him Another Look

[See that bright little dot skiing way down that Swiss mountain? Go ahead and give him another look.]

I talked to his office about 30 minutes ago about the same thing. Their advice: call senators around the country and ask them to join in!

[Yeah, you go ahead and do the dirty work while Kerry enjoys his Swiss ski vacation.]

O.K., How Long Do We Have To Call??

[Waste your time until Monday when your futile attempt is shot down.]

It's all about getting the 40 other senators. There is no filibuster to be had without that magic number.

[Kerry is phoning in his magic from Switzerland.]

It's not the days of "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" anymore

[Boris Karloff could play the starring role in "Mr. Kerry Goes to Switzerland."]

Go Kerry! and Good Luck to him. . .thanks for update, WilliamPitt

[Thanks for your STALE "scoop," William Pitt the Plunger.]

Kerry sounded pissed off yesterday, and not just in a righteous "Alito is bad for the country" sort of way, either - he sounded pissed at something that had happened. My guess is that there is a faction in the Dem caucus who actively do not want a filibuster and are throwing every monkey wrench they can in the way of Kerry and others who do want a filibuster.

[But not quite pissed off enough to break away from the Swiss ski slopes.]

He did look incredibly pissed off when he spoke yesterday, so I'm not surprised.

[I'm not surprised either. Kerry was pissed off that the filibuster thing was taking valuable quality time away from his Swiss ski vacation.]

Kerry already said he was in favor of a filibuster last weekend. But no one else was saying anything with the new 'F' word in it.

[Oh, Kerry said it LAST weekend? So much for Pied Piper Pitt's STALE "scoop."]

This was reported here a few days ago I believe. Someone posted they called Kerry's office and the staffer told the caller what Kerry was up to. I'm glad to hear he's still working on this and I hope and pray he's successful. I've signed every petition I could, Emailed etc.

[Another not-so-subtle derision of Pied Piper Pitt's STALE "scoop."]

noone has VOTED yet ... we need the names of the lilly-livered ones from the dem side who won't support a filibuster and plague them with calls ... does ANYBODY have any intelligence on that info??? yo, Pitt, how about using your source to get us a scoop NOW!!!!!

[Pied Piper Pitt will get you the scoop on that as soon as the filibuster vote is over.]

Yay, Kerry's waking up! Two years late, but OK!

[Kerry is waking up with a WONDERFUL view of a Swiss mountainside.]

Sorry but flame all you want, this is typical Kerry... Knowing that the filibuster is dead, it's now safe for him to come out and say he's for it.

[And this DUmmie WINS a Swiss Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

Democratic Senator Johnson from SD voting yes, won't support filibuster.

[And you're surprised? How? I do know that Pied Piper Pitt in another DUmmie thread actually proposed that just because a senator promised to vote FOR Alito didn't necessarily mean that he would also oppose a filibuster. The political wisdom of Pitt; on display in the Comedy Museum.]

If he can't get 41 votes ... Can he insist on READING my name into the Congressional Record?

[That sounds like a Pied Piper Pitt Wet Dream.]

I called Pryor and Lincoln. I got a busy signal once with Lincoln.

[And you're still on hold with Pryor.]

I just hung up from talking with a staffer who said the same thing, that Kerry is publicly supporting a filibuster and is now working with other senators to get the necessary votes.

[How? By talking to those senators on a phone line from his Swiss ski lift?]

Is this like sources say Kerry lawyers are going to challenge Ohio 2004? We've been down this road before

[Or, more accurately, we've been down this slippery ski slope before.]

Maybe Kerry should be Majority Leader?

[Um...first the Democrats need a Senate MAJORITY for that to happen. If it did, Kerry could phone in his leadership agenda from Switzerland.]

I hope your source is right, Mr. Pitt.

[We already know his source was LATE.]

Godamm it-he's just working on it now? Always a day late and a dollar short. Kerry is unable to lead. He's unable to get people to follow him.

[Another Swiss Kewpie Doll is IN THE MAIL!]

Thursday, January 26, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 01-26-06 ("I am very, very disappointed...")

The impending Alito nomination has driven the DUmmies into a greater crazed frenzy than that of Rambo Cat above. It is starting to dawn on them that the filibuster, if ever tried, will FAIL. Despite the too little, too late support of such a filibuster by Jean Kerry from the ski slopes of Switzerland, the votes for filibuster are just NOT there. Plus we now have word that Sheets Byrd SUPPORTS the nomination of Alito. Game over for the DUmmies thus their INTENSE anger as you can see in this THREAD titled, with SUPREME understatement, "I am very, very disappointed..." So let us now join Rambo Cat and plunge the depths of DUmmie Despair in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, reminding everyone that Jean Kerry never EVER falls down on the ski slopes, is in the [brackets]:

I am very, very disappointed...


In the way the Democrats handled this Alito nomination. They have known for several weeks that the vote was coming up to either approve or to filibuster his nomination. There was absolutely no reason to get to this point and not know where your own members stood on their vote. Yes, they were on Christmas and New Year's vacation, but that is no reason not to have contact with all the members.

[But...but don't you feel HAPPY with the utterly MEANINGLESS support for a filibuster by John Kerry from the Swiss ski slopes?]

They should never have raised any expectations of a filibuster unless they knew there was a credible vote count that would permit such a maneuver. To get up to the last minute before the vote and then realize we don't have the votes is a failure of leadership, in my opinion. They would have been better off to simply say from the beginning that it appears Mr. Alito will be voted thru on a slim vote. I am very disappointed in the way this process was handled.

[Actually I ENJOY watching DUmmie expectation levels raised only to be DASHED at the last minute.]

my but that is mild language. They are traitorous bastards for not standing up for the Democrats and this country against the creeping fascism that is bushco**. They are worthless.

I agree with you completely..
I've been calling, writing, and donating.. I've literally put my ass on the line.. Why aren't they? I can't keep fighting for people that won't fight for me..

[John Kerry has your back...from the Swiss ski slopes.]

..There are a couple that are fighting, but that's it..
A couple isn't enough...

[John K and Mama T have your back.]

Your ass is on the line???
Seriously? So your job is on the line is what your saying? Or are you just saying you've donated some time and money? I wouldn't describe that as your ass on the line...a little heavy on the drama, brother.

[John Kerry's frozen ass is on the ski jump line.]

I donated all of my time, money and energy to the kerry campaign and the democratic party in 2004. I did all of that while suffering excruciating pain from a herniated disc. I literally suffered physically for our cause. I also joined several peace groups including the Quaker's Friends committee. Shortly after that I had a big old dark SUV parked on my street for a week. I thought I was paranoid at the time now I know better. And I suffered and gave my time for f*cking what exactly? For the democrats to F O L D at the most crucial moment in our nations history???

[John Kerry is just $10 away from a successful filibuster.]

If we acted more like we were insane, they'd give a shit, but we are Rational, so they don't give a shit.

[Actually the first part of your sentence is the ONLY correct part.]

I'll remember this sell out, in fact I am sure we'll be reminded of it every time the SCOTUS shoves another abominable ruling up our collective rear ends. Believe me, Walt, you have no corner on the outrage market.

If the left now decided to stay home in droves and allowed teh Republicans to utterly defeat the Democrats, or better yet, showed up in droves but cast no vote whatsoever for either a Democrat or a Republican, we'd have their attention.

[Just Do It!]

We have 44 Democrats and 1 Independent that vote with us sometimes. When we reach a certain number of Democrats that say they will vote to close debate, there is no filibuster. The filibuster is over. If you don't get 41 votes, the filibuster is over. I guess we can hold out hope to get some help from a few Republicans?? I'm not holding my breath. Maybe they will twist a couple of arms and get them to change their vote. We shall see. I am the realist. Let's see where Byrd goes??

[Your post was made at 2:39 PM EST today so I guess you hadn't gotten the news yet that Sheets Byrd is going to vote FOR Alito.]

I have been depressed and in tears a good part of the time for the last two weeks. This is the most important vote in my (considerable) lifetime, and I am terrified of the consequences.

[The consequence is detention centers for all DUmmies at all Walmart construction sites.]

Exactly why our leadership should have had the votes in line... to filibuster this choice. But, we are now down to the last minute and they are behind closed doors trying to reason with a few Democrats. I am more than disappointed.

[John Kerry will be very disappointed to leave the Swiss ski slopes to support a meaningless filibuster attempt.]

Perhaps if this fails we need a new Senate Minority leader. Perhaps someone like Barbara Boxer!

[That's just the ticket...to flush the Democrats down the toilet.]

We're talking now about senators being on record of what THEY THEMSELVES wanted to do, not hiding behind a wimp group of senators that are trying to say "you don't have any other choice" to us!

Pure and simple, the DLC is responsible for the split in the Dems that has destroyed any hope it had of being an opposition party. And that is what the mission of the DLC is. They DON'T WANT a viable opposition party to the Republicans who are the party that is implementing their corporate masters' will! The DLC is there to keep the Dems in check and keep them from fighting the corporate juggernaut! That's why NOW is the time to stop the DLC! Once we can clean house of them, then we can in a more unified fashion fight against the GOP!

[What? No credit given to Karl Rove for splitting up the Dems? You ingrate!]

I swear, sometimes I wish I was a member of the brain dead
morons who can't name a justice on the court. Maybe I'll start watching sitcoms and soap operas instead of CSpan.

[Your wish is granted, my brain dead little DUmmie.]

THE QUESTION STILL REMAINS...WHAT DID THE DEMOCRATS GET OUT OF THE GANG OF 14 DEAL??? NOTHING!!!!!!!! THE REPUKES GOT THEIR RW WACKO NUT JOB JUDGES CONFIRMED AND WE GOT NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate this f*cking party. IF THIS ISN'T AN "EXTRAORDINARY CIRCUMSTANCE" WHAT THE HELL IS???? I knew this would happen. I KNEW they would still get their fucking SCOTUS judges confirmed. I KNEW IT. As usual, we Progressives have been told to F*CK OFF by the Dem party.

Oh here I go-yes the gang of fourteen agreement
I will never forget Will Pitt claiming "we saved Roe. V. Wade" with this. NO! I knew it was a bad idea. Wrong wrong wrong. You don't compromise, back down and give up to bullies and thugs. IT never works. And what would have impressed us loyal Dems and some undecided or apathetic voters-is that if they went nuclear and destroyed the fillibuster option-we could have protrayed that as un-American and all the rest. We could have been outraged and demanding and never let them forget it. Instead we are cowards are reap the rewards. The only answer is obvioulsy a civil war in the Dem party. This shit is over. They don't represent me

[Uh-oh. DUmmie discontent with the infallible Pied Piper Pitt.]

It's getting down to the nitty-gritty...
Specter wants to have a vote. But, Democrats say they have more speakers. Seems the Dems are killing time to see what they can get together. But, it appears the inevitable is about to happen, imo... Unless something very dramatic happens?

[Like Mama T's Boy Toy leaving the Swiss ski slopes?]

Some brave people have pointed out the possibility of a filibuster is still there. So long as have a shot, we have to keep the pressure on. It's war.

DUmmie FUnnies 01-26-06 ("Expose the 'Alito 8' Democratic Senators Who Are Blocking a Filibuster")

The coming ApocAlito is hitting my DUmmie Ants HARD. They are scurrying about the circular mill with ever more furious and DESPERATE speed. Some of them are talking about leaving the country. Others about leaving the Democrats. Pied Piper Pitt wants the Democrats to stand up and WALK OUT of the President's State of the Union Address. And more are now talking about taking out retribution against the Democrats for not filibustering (despite cheerleading support for this antic by the NY Times) the Alito nomination as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Expose the 'Alito 8' Democratic Senators Who Are Blocking a Filibuster." Yes, it will definitely be FUn to visit DUmmieland AFTER the Alito nomination to watch the incredible level of DUmmie Angst and recrimination. I am sooooo looking forward to DUFUing the depressed DUmmies on that occasion (soon). In the meantime, let us now enjoy the DUmmie angst over the ApocAlito in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching the circular mill DUmmie Ants go around and around and around, is in the [brackets]:

Expose the "Alito 8" Democratic Senators Who Are Blocking a Filibuster

[Hunt 'em down and run 'em out of office! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!]

The most likely suspects are the 7 Democrats in the Gang of 14.

Joseph I. Lieberman, Connecticut
Robert C. Byrd, West Virginia
E. Benjamin Nelson, Nebraska
Mary Landrieu, Louisiana
Daniel Inouye, Hawaii
Mark Pryor, Arkansas
Ken Salazar, Colorado

[Let the investigations and recriminations begin! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!]

Ben Nelson has already said he will vote for Alito. Screw him, but we don't need his vote as long as we get nearly all of the rest.


And call the five Democratic Senators who want you to support them for President in 2008. If they want to prove their leadership, they need to lead the filibuster. It only takes 1 Senator to start the filibuster. Call them with a simple message: SUPPORT A FILIBUSTER OR FORGET ABOUT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.

Evan Bayh
Joe Biden
Hillary Clinton
Russ Feingold
John Kerry

[That threat won't work since Hillary already has the '08 nomination in the bag...no matter what.]

Naw. It's the Elito 44. How will we know the '8' if the rest don't act?

[Toss the "Elito" 44 out of office. YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!]

We have Jeffords - I think he will support a filibuster

[CALLING JUMPIN' JIM! CALLING JUMPIN' JIM! Has anybody seen him in his office in the Senate bathroom?]

I just got off the phone with Reid's office - NO plan for a filibuster that she knows of. I asked the question two different ways - same response

[And both ways started off and ended with a curse.]

Maybe a good way to flush out the traitors
is to tell your Senator you won't support him or her if there isn't a filibuster. That may provoke listing the traitors.


You're right about accountability... I just don't know if that is the answer, right now. Any other time, maybe. But the Republican party of today is just plain dangerous. These people are not Republicans. They are not Conservatives. They are the American Nazi Party, and honestly, they scare me. I understand what you are saying, and to a large extent I agree with you, it's just that these Republicans need to be stopped. They really scare me, not the "turrists", them and their Dear Leader

[And we may have a WINNER here for the most WACKJOB DUmmie post of this thread. YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!]

Sad day. Makes me wish I hadn't of had children.

[Is retroactive abortion possible?]

If there is not a filibuster, it is 100% Harry Reid's fault.
Pat Leahy said on Ed Schultz that the decision to filibuster lies with Reid. If one doesn't happen, you know who to blame - along with the spoiler senators who would not support one. But Reid should take the lion's share of the guilt - what the f*ck use is a "party leader" who can't lead his party?

[That Leaky Leahy stab in the back sounds like HE will be running for Minority Leader as soon as Reid splits.]

I sure as shit ain't going to spend my time arguing with the DLC, "it's not that bad" "next election we can win" people on DU. You are deluded. I don't know what I'm gonna do-but this shit is a joke. And anybody that excuses and abets these people is shooting themselves. Politics is a f*cking joke. Maybe I'll look at another country-would would you suggest? There is no oppostion party in this country. Not a "party." Not a group. Not with leaders. This vote for Alito-I'm the most pro-abortion person around-don't even need to be mealy mouthed about. BUT Roe v. Wade is nothing compared to the president having ABSOLUTE POWER. Unitary executive. "Signing statements" A King. The congress has no power now. It's getting worse every day. He's already broken law and broken his oath of office and nothing is about it. And now these so called "democrats" are letting him appoint someone to the supreme court for life without fighting with everything they've got-that will give him absolute power in court cases-our only last line of defense against tryanny-and I'm supposed to say it's going to be okay? You must be insane. Because to think you are winning anything again with the Supreme court stacked you are seriously deluded. Game over.


We are talking about a fascist dictatorship in the making
and Alito would be an important part of that. Let's keep calling the Senators.

[And beating our collective DUmmie heads against the wall. YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!]

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 01-25-06 (Hardball said it...Rove pushing Hillary in '08...")

Hello to DUmmie FUnnies reader, CRAIG CRAWFORD. I know this Congressional Quarterly reporter (and bigtime Liberal apologist) is a reader of the DUmmie FUnnies because he read about the Rovian 2008 Game Plan that we have often discussed here. Now he is reciting what we already knew as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Hardball said it...Rove pushing Hillary in '08..." Yes, now even the DUmmies are getting a clue about the fate that Karl Rove has in store for them. They can plug Dennis Kucinich, Wesley Clark, Barbara Boxer, or Russ Feingold to their hearts' content but there is NO STOPPING the inevitable: Hillary WILL be their 2008 nominee. Crybaby all you want DUmmies but there is no way you can fight the Perfect Rovian Storm. ALL is going according to plan. As usual the DUmmie rantings, under the delusion that they actually have some sort of choice in picking their nominee, are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching the DUmmies being crushed under the Rove/Hillary machine, is in the [brackets]:

Hardball said it...Rove pushing Hillary in '08...

[Actually the DUmmie FUnnies said it FIRST. Craig Crawford is merely repeating what he read here.]

FINALLY I heard it said on mainstream media tonight....at the end of Hardball tonight Craig Crawford put forth the idea that the Republicans would love for Hillary to be the candidate because they know they could beat her....THEY are pushing her, not the Democrats. So can we finally hear the end of Hillary in 2008! Can we not let the Republicans choose our candidate this time around???

[Tough luck, DUmmies. Hillary WILL be your 2008 nominee. And there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. The most FUn about the 2008 election won't be the final result which is a foregone conclusion. The TRUE entertainment will be to watch the ants in DUmmieland having a collective mental meltdown when they realize that Karl Rove has chosen their nominee.]

The thugs pushed for Kennedy in 72
I tried and tested strategy.

[McGovern sufficed back then as a SURE loser.]

When did GOP ever choose our nominee? They failed when they tried in 2004.

[We came close in 2004 with Dean but then Hillary stopped Dean with the release of the letter he wrote to her hubby when president supporting the use of unilateral action in Bosnia. That was the moment Dean's campaign went south...thanx to Hillary.]

Did GOP want to run against Dean????


While you are at it, ask why they crucified Dean with that mic trick. Why did they only play the audio from his directional mic on that scream? A mic who's sole purpose is to focus in on the speaker's voice only. The type of mic that someone like Matt Roker would use outdoors on the Today Show so that you can hear above all the screaming fans. Why did they never show the real footage where the crowd is screaming so loud that you can't even hear Dean? BushCo put a media hit out on Dean and the lap dogs were all to willing to comply by playing that one audio track over and over again until the "mainstream" was anti-Dean because he was "crazy."


They were also terrified of General Wes Clark...
And were happy as hell that not running in Iowa wound up backfiring on him...

[You mean the same Clinton tool, Wes Clark, who spilled the beans about Kerry's girlfriend?]

Hillary has power and appeal that they must find threatening, so I'm sure they'll trivialize and mock her the same way they did Dean.

[Actually the Rovian Game Plan is to build her up...until the moment of her nomination.]

But I think Gore running would be their worst nightmare.

[Gore is actually the ONLY Democrat who could beat Hillary for the nomination but Karl knows that Gore won't run because he is like a spoiled brat. Yeah, Gore would dearly love to become President but only as long as he doesn't have to go through the arduous campaigning routine again. Gore much prefers to be coronated as President than actually WORK for it in a campaign.]

Gore would be their worst nightmare. And that is why they are pushing the Hillary things so hard.

[Not to worry. See above. Although Gore could easily defeat Hillary in the Democrat primaries, he is much too lazy to even try campaigning again. ALL is going according to plan.]

Hillary should run on Universal Heathcare.

[Yeah, that idea sure worked beautifully for her in 93/94. The end result has been a Republican Congress AND Senate (with a brief Jumpin' Jim respite) that has endured until this day.]

No one unites Republicans more than HILLARY .... Glad it's finally getting out there that it's the media pushing her!

[With Karl Rove holding the puppet strings.]

I prefer to work for my candidate of choice - Al Gore.

[Too bad Al Gore is too lazy to work on his own campaign.]

Gore is my choice as well !

[I'm going to enjoy watching your tears of frustration when Hillary is nominated.]

If we all just vote for who we think is the best candidate, ignoring what the opposition may or may not want, the winner will be the best candidate.

[The winner WILL be Hillary. And there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to change the INEVITABLE.]

..a lot of us really are SICK and TIRED of the media saying that Hillary is "untouchable, a shoe-in, the Democratic favorite.. yada, yada, yada..."

[You need to sit back and relax because there is NOTHING you can do to stop Hillary (and Rove).]

Forget what the republican party is trying to make us do.

[That's right. Just forget that Karl Rove is arranging for the nomination of Hillary.]

I agree with you.. we are pretty much asleep at the wheel...

[And this DUmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

I've been saying this for months...The media has been the ONLY ones pushing Hillary. MSNBC was pushing her the night we voted for Kerry. Why do so many dems believe the media and then, say they're full of shit? We have to STOP getting our knowledge from the TV. If we don't qut acting like sheep we never will win.

[Baah! Baah!]

Personally, I think it's going to be Gore. Go Al!!!
Hillary is the smoke screen.

[Unfortunately for your theory, Al is just too damn LAZY to actually campaign. He will only accept a coronation as President if it doesn't involve actual WORK.]

I think Rove would LOVE it.. The Freepnoids would LOVE it.. and anyone with a Republican bone in their body would LOVE it..

[Of course we would LOVE it since a Hillary nomination means the Democrats LOSING in a landslide. We won't even have to preprogram up our Diebold machine software to achieve that result.]

It would be wonderful to sideline Rove,
doing time in the Big House.

[I regret to inform you that the Grinch has already stolen Fitzmas.]

I was really struck by this episode of hardball..
That Tweety truly thinks that this is all just some game. Ned Flanders, I mean Ed Rogers states plainly that the republicans are using thought control to win. (bumper sticker vs. essay) And Chris Matthews thinks that's just great.

[Beware the Rovian Mind Meld!]

So, as she ain't running, just drop the subject

[That's right. You just go right on BEEEEELEEEEEVING that Hillary isn't running for president. And which fairy tale would you like me to read you at bedtime?]

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 01-24-06 ("Revenge When We Take Back Power")

I fell asleep early this evening and around the same time I dozed off, this DUmmie THREAD titled "Revenge When We Take Back Power" appeared. Well, I sure woke up fast when I spotted that thread and everybody else better WAKE UP as well. As Rush Limbaugh has said, when liberals are out of power they are FUnnie but when they are in power, they are DANGEROUS as you can see from their fantasies of REVENGE on this thread. Fortunately, Karl Rove has arranged for the nomination of Hillary Clinton in 2008 to prevent the return of the Democrats to power but we must remain ever vigilant to the DUmmie intentions. As usual the fantasies of the DUmmie Chekha are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who hopes that others wake up to the DUmmie revenge fantasies, is in the [brackets]:

Revenge When We Take Back Power.

[Roving DUmmie Chekha bands will travel throughout country and take REVENGE on the EVIL Republicans for being conservative.

Yes. I want it. Use every tool the RW has exploited under the power of Shrub and turn it against them. Ten fold. Where to start?

[The DUmmie Chekhists, IF they ever return to power, would indict all the top Republicans and send them to the Hague as War Criminals. In DUmmieland this is considered a REASONABLE proposition.]

Now, they're building detention centers for us! It's time to treat this as a war, as Rove does. That's why the Reichwing wins every single battle, and mocks us.

[You are especially mocked, as now, in the DUmmie FUnnies. And WHERE are these detention centers being built? You probably think the new Walmart or shopping mall being built is REALLY a detention center.]

IMO, Truth & Reconciliation Hearings might be best. People would have more of an inclination to cooperate and spill their guts that way.

[How generous of you. You won't send us to the Hague as War Criminals but ONLY if we confess to some sort of crimes against the DUmmies.]

Rescind all tax cuts to the wealthy, retroactively! Slam Big Corporations with a bill for the taxes they SHOULD HAVE BEEN PAYING all along, retroactively! Companies who have outsourced American jobs will not be allowed to sell their products in the United States! Corporations who have cut wages of their workers while awarding themselves huge bonuses will RETURN every penny, to be distributed among the workforce - retroactively!


[A DUmmie having his version of "FUn" in the Alternate Reality.]

I don't think that would work since ex post facto laws are
unconstitutional. But I guess this is just fantasy.

[As is the REST of this dopey thread.]

Revenge, AND plug up all the holes in the system that enable neofascism.

[A promotion for you in the Chekhist Commissariat.]

I WANT REVENGE for what they've put our country through. I want justice and restitution, call it what you will.

[How about if we call it "reparations" so you can sit in front of your keyboard for another 10 years without working.]

I was thinking we'd just shave all their heads. It worked for the French after WWII.

[And who took a slice out of your brain while shaving your head?]

I was just thinking that. Imagine seeing Anne Coulter with a shaved head and swaztika painted on her forehead.

[Seek clinical help. NOW!]

Justice Must Be Done. What they have done to this country is unforgiveable. Once in power, we will need to use every tool possible to expose the crimes that have been committed against this country. There MUST be accountability.

[There is already accountability for your crazed rantings by publicizing them right here in the DUmmie FUnnies, Drool Mouth.]

There are too many Republicans who, under the auspices of their beloved leader, have DAMAGED my country -- yes, MY country, not THEIRS. The past five years have not been 'politics as usual', with one side snapping at the other. You don't let TRAITORS walk away at the end of their tenure, with a wave of the hand and a, "Let's let bygones be bygones." As someone posted above, setting JUSTICE back on track is not REVENGE -- it will just SEEM LIKE IT to the deserving people who will get their just desserts ...

[It looks like your dirty T-shirt is soaking up your rabid foam.]

I doubt that power can be taken back in our lifetimes.
Why should they give it up? They hold the cards. After Alito is installed they will hold ALL the cards. We won't get back to even, let alone control. Quit being silly, our democracy has been lost.

[Give up, NOW!]

I want CORRECTIVE tax rates on the wealthy! Bring back the top marginal rates before JFK lowered them in the 60's!

[Shhhh! Democrats, especially Ted Kennedy, HATE being reminded that it was JFK who lowered tax rates.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-24-06 ("Why not stage a series of national strikes?")

When I saw the title of this DUmmie THREAD, "Why not stage a series of national strikes?" my reaction was "Ho-hum. Been there, done that." Lately there have been NUMEROUS calls for MASS ACTION in DUmmieland against the EVIL Bush Regime that go exactly NOWHERE. Pied Piper Pitt's Bukowksi's beverage inspired shtick over the weekend about the Democrats staging a WALKOUT at the State of the Union Address has already faded into obscurity with FEW DUmmies even commenting on that thread any more. Ditto for the April 23 Movement about hitting America in the WALLET by withdrawing money from the Piggy Banks or selling off penny stocks on that day. Barely are these MASS ACTION threads up and running than they fade away due to lack of enthusiasm. However, one FRINGE BENEFIT of these MASS ACTION threads is that they provide enormous entertainment for DUmmie FUnnies fans. Plus, much as the DUmmies would like to forget such dopey proposals, we are sure to rub salt into their humiliation and remind them of the proposed MASS ACTIONS on the days they are due to occur. So, stand by, DUmmies. On January 31 we will be sure to remind you about Pitt's Proposal to WALK OUT of the SOTU and on April 23 we will be monitoring the actions of the Stock Market to see the big effect the DUmmies have on the economy on yet another Not One Damn Dime Day. So let us enjoy the spectacle of the DUmmies calling for yet more MASS ACTION in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, figuring this thread will die about 10 minutes after the DUFU edition about it comes out, is in the [brackets]:

Why not stage a series of national strikes?

[Why not bang our heads against the walls in unison?]

I think we need a series of national strikes or massive boycotts that should be put at the front of any of our protests. It completely unnerves the party in power to be jumped by their money source, hammering them to give the people what they want so they can get back to taking our money. We actually have more control in that than we realize.

[YAWN! Don't you even read your own DUmmie threads? This boycott of the "money source" was already proposed last Saturday and is set for April 23. Oh, and the April 23 Movement has ALREADY been forgotten. DUAC! DUAC!]

If we can't organize something like this then we really have no hope of actually getting their attention. I march and I march. My wife marches. My children march. We faithfully engage in small protests. We lend ourselves to the large ones. But, I think they lack the punch in the gut of the Establishment that we need to get their attention. There are other ways to protest which involve sacrificing ourselves to the consequences of whatever law we may choose to disregard, but that lets them peel us off one at a time. We need a massive insurrection. A series of announced national strikes would seem to be the best way to get the ruling party's attention.

[How about a massive national hunger strike? Don't worry about going hungry. As the DUmmies themselves have already proposed in Pitt's WALKOUT Thread, you only have to wear a Blue ribbon to SYMBOLIZE your solidarity with the Hunger Strike. Meanwhile you can pigout to your heart's content at your local buffet restaurant...as long as you wear that Hunger Strike Blue Ribbon.]

We need a worldwide boycott of corrupt offices and individuals who threaten to dominate us for greed and power. We need to sacrifice and sustain the boycott until we regain control over our own destinies, free from the corruption and destruction of the new militarization. We should turn our backs on those institutions that disregard our intentions, cut off their access to our contributions and bleed them dry.

[Join the April 23rd Generally Economic General Strike!]

IF a series of national strikes were possible, I wonder what the reaction of the government would be? I imagine they'd get ugly, or uglier. I can't imagine them sitting still. Ringleaders to Gitmo and all that . . . On the other hand, there might not be enough of a following to make a difference. I'd like to think there would be. Initially, at least, we'd be insulated from overt retaliation by the novelty of it all. It would wear thin on industry pretty quickly.

[It sounds like your proposal for a MASSIVE National Strike is having trouble even making it past your fourth paragraph of your thread.]

There's such a diversity of industry in the country, not centralized like many of the other countries who exercise national strikes. It might be easy to pick off followers at the edges. Small business would suffer first and most from a strike. But that's also the only arena we have a chance at having the moneychangers take us seriously. One day at a time. No gas. No phone calls. No grocery store. One day at a time until we are recognized.

[Not ONE DAMN DIME!!! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.]

strikes or massive boycotts of what?

[7-11 beef and bean burritos. And from there we move on to boycotting corn chips!]

we could target industries or just stage a general strike
general is better, I think, hurtful like I say from the bottom up, but the effect may have a shock effect on our skiddish representatives and senators. Everything important, gas, communications, computers, are tied to major sources. It would take some thought for certain, and sacrifice.

[Hey, boycotting corn chips for a day would be a HUGE sacrifice!]

The tricky part is getting everybody to agree to do it - and by everybody, i mean enough people to make it matter.

[Look for volunteers from the quickly forgotten April 23rd Movement.]

Who's going to organize it?

[The Tooth Fairy is available once he leaves the British Big Brother House.]

I think the boycotts are the more effective technique. As to who should be at the forefront of organizing, I think there should be a coalition with the emphasis on organizations that have an internet community already in place, such as DU, moveon, etc. What to boycott--oil, oil, oil. That is the most obvious thing. Products that are bankrolling conservative think tanks. There are tons of them.

[Uh-Oh! My DUmmie Ants have begun running around in their endless circle...again.]

You make it sound as if such a thing were a few phone calls and fliers away.

[Hey, calling for a MASSIVE national strike is a piece of cake. It only requires a couple of clicks on the mouse to make such a proposal in DUmmieland.]

If we are at the point where our leaders will only respond to their money sources, what other recourse with any reasonable chance of success is available to us? There has to be a point where we take our own destiny in hand. It's our government. Why do these folks in other countries, with arguably more to lose than most Americans from such an action, continue to challenge their system in this way. It's will. I wonder when we will decide we've had enough of slavery to the military industry and stand up for our priorities like the free people we imagine ourselves to be. I think the notion of a national strike is a strategy yet to come as our political, economic, and social destinies slip from our leader's money clutching hands.

[Enjoying that warm glow from the computer screen deep down in that dark basement?]

It's sort of like hunger strikes. They once made news and could even be effective but not anymore.

[Why not? Are you short on Blue Ribbons?]

you know everything needs some brainstorming with a low chance of success, high risk, but worth trying perhaps. I don't think we would really expect to unseat the money structure, or even tickle it. What we might accomplish is a ripple. A ripple could be all we need to get the attention of these spooky legislators. That's where you want to effect change I take it? One tug on their purse strings is all it usually takes our leaders to drag themselves out of bed to put in the midnight money vote.

[Answer the knock on your basement door. Mommy has a nice big glass of hot cocoa for you.]

Nobody is going to do anything.

[And this DUmmies WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

I'm mezmerized by hope. I don't have to settle in and accept that my government that I sponsor and tolerate is determined to be an obstacle and a danger. It may yet come to past that Americans will cast aside our hope that our representatives and leaders will realize our dreams for our lives and society and take our country back with our own hands. We are the fuel that enables these pretenders to continue in power. We have the ability to stop enabling their false reign, their manufactured military mandate. That may come to be the only comfort left us.

[I'm mesmerized by your stupidity but, hey, thanx for providing some great DUFU material.]

I'm on strike right now and we can't even get the TEAMSTERS to respect our picket line! We have a letter of support from the head of the teamsters, and individual teamsters are still crossing our picket line. How on earth are we going to get from there to wildcat strike?

[That's because the Teamsters don't have proper respect for the International Brotherhood of Keyboard Tappers union.]

I guess the lesson is this: People don't do desperate things unless forced to live in desperate conditions. It seems crushing poverty makes a population "lean and fit." It burns away the laziness and the fat, and it forces an individual to fight for survival. Comfortable people don't do things beyond their comfort zone, but an uncomfortable populace suffering excruciating pain will take to the streets. They would do anything to try to escape the pain. I hate to say it, but crushing poverty, at least in my mind, is the true motivator for change whether it be poverty as a result of discrimination or as a result of lack of investment in the people.

[Thanx for that admission that America is too well off to hold a general strike. And if America is so well off, WHAT are you so mad about?]

Nationwide strike brings Bangladesh to a halt

[Great! Let's move to Bangladesh!]

If enough people threw themselves into the gears and cogs of the machine, then the machine will grind to a stop, and if the machine cannot be turned to a good cause, for the better of all, then it is a principle obligation to see that the machine is ultimately destroyed. Of course, people have to collectively choose to do such a desperate thing.

[Translation: "YOU first in that throwing yourself into the gears and cogs of machines routine.

getting out of the system would help. And by that I mean withdrawing from the banking system, buying locally or bartering when possible, cutting way back on purchases, etc. It is perfectly possible to live without giving much business to corporations. I've been out of the banking system for ten years now.

[So how's life underneath the bridge?]