DUmmie FUnnies 01-27-06 ("Folks, the filibuster is dead" ---Pied Piper Pitt)
Even for Pied Piper Pitt, this is a very fast turnaround time. Yesterday, Pitt proudly posted the following thread, "Source tells me Kerry is now openly in favor of a filibuster" to much DUmmie acclaim. HOORAH! The fight is ON!!! Well, it WAS on until this morning when Pied Piper Pitt did a total turnabout with this: Folks, the filibuster is dead. Oops! Apparently the "source" Pitt so proudly cited the day before got back to him with the information that Kerry can't be bothered with leaving the Swiss ski slopes so COOL IT on the whole filibuster cheerleading shtick. Thus we have the turnaround routines AGAIN for two of the DUFU faves, Pied Piper Pitt and Mama T's Boy Toy. So let us now watch yet ANOTHER in a series of Pied Piper Pitt's infamous backtracks in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, enjoying the same ol' Pitt vaudeville act no matter how many times he performs the SAME routine, is in the [brackets]:
Folks, the filibuster is dead
[And so is any shred of Pied Piper Pitt credibility.]
It is simple math at this point.
[1+1 = 2 Heinz/Kerrys on a Swiss vacation.]
44 Democratic Senators + 1 Independent = 45
[1 Independent Jumpin' Jim with the office in the Senate bathroom.]
41 Senators needed to sustain a filibuster. That's a margin of four, assuming that Jeffords would stand with the filibuster, which is not at all certain.
[Jumpin' Jim has your back.]
Byrd, Johnson and Nelson are all voting 'aye.' Easy assumption is that they will not support a filibuster of the guy they intend to vote in favor of.
[But...but just YESTERDAY you posted in DUmmieland that just because a senator was voting 'aye' on Alito didn't necessarily mean they wouldn't join in on a filibuster. Could our insightful political analyst, Pied Piper Pipe, possibly be.....WRONG????]
We're down to 42, assuming Jeffords is with us.
[You'll be down even more than that when the final tally comes out. Way down in Jumpin' Jim's toilet.]
Biden has said he won't support a filibuster. So has Landrieu. Akaka and Dorgan support cloture.
[And with Byrd, Johnson, and Nelson that takes you down to 40. Game over.]
That's it. Game over. 41 is unachievable.
[To Achieve the Unachievable Dream... Thus Pied Piper Pitt got himself entangled in ANOTHER windmill.]
This was a noble effort on the part of our activists here, but I think it is time to turn out the lights and try to enjoy a well-earned rest this weekend.
[Yet, LESS than 24 hours ago it was Pied Piper Pitt who was the main filibuster cheerleader in DUmmieland with his post about John Kerry having your back.]
Either that, or keep writing, faxing and calling to register your disgust to the last moment.
[Beat your heads against the wall to the last moment.]
But it is what it is.
[Thus Pied Piper Pitt slinks away into the sunset with his tail between his legs...AGAIN. And now on to his not-so-loyal DUmmie acolytes.]
Then the Democratic Party is also DEAD
It's been good knowing ya, Will. Time for paths to diverge...
[Thus spaketh Walt Starr while casting Pitt into DUmmie Purgatory.]
This is your way of welching on our bet?!?
You owe me THIRTY F*CKING DAYS of "alcibiades_mystery made me his bitch" as a signature line, f*cker, and you ain't getting off that easy. Either you start running it now through the confirmation, or you are a f*cking bet-welcher of first magnitude, no f*cking lie.
[Hmmm... Perhaps I should moderate this dispute between DUmmie alcibiades_mystery and DUmmie Walt Starr. What was the nature of the bet? Details please so I can ascertain whether Walt Starr should be the personal bitch of alcibiades_mystery.]
That bet is not over yet. When it is, I'll keep my word. I'll come back and I'll change my signature line IF I LOSE!. Of course, it'll only show up in archives, but hell, I'll have met the conditions of the bet. And hell, I'll leave it in the sig line for good!
[The pool game is over when Fats says it's over... I came after him and I'm gonna get him. I'm going with him all the way.]
I have to stop thinking about this because it's too early to drink.
[Does Bukowski's serve breakfast beer?]
Walt, you can just go away with this gloom and doom talk!
[No, stick around Walt and be alcibiades_mystery's bitch.]
Don't worry, looks like next Monday at 4:30
I won't have any reason to be here any longer any way.
[Is that the time of your Heaven's Gate appointment, Walt?]
You have a way to overcome mathematics?
The bodies aren't there.
[If I were you, Pitt, I would cool it with the talk about bodies. Especially student bodies.]
They could change their minds though. I can't lose hope until it's over. I just can't. Perhaps Byrd would vote yes on Alito but no on cloture.
[More likely that the Mother Ship will land and swoop you away before that happens.]
and if I recall Will, were you quite ready to embrace the compromise that would avoid the nuclear option? That wasn't even a compromise, that was a caving in. In fact I am not even sure what the purpose of this thread is. Are you trying to demoralize people who want to fight and express their disent? Isn't that what has been done to us for the last six years?
[Thank you, Pitt, for your NUMEROUS but HILARIOUS demoralization threads.]
This isn't about that compromise. This is about a straight-up nose count. The noses aren't there. I am sorry if stating basic math is demoralizing. Pretend I didn't say it, and ride the crest of uptimism right up until the gavel falls, if such an action suits you. I can count.]
[Pitt can count. One accuser. Two accusers. Three accusers. Four...]
Call me hopelessly optimistic, or eternally hopeful, but I will hope.
I know you work really hard for truth, and I'll never question your integrity, but this was not constructive.
[Perhaps Pitt wasn't constructive but with his quick filibuster turnaround time, he was FUnnie!!!]
I've made more phone calls and typed more emails than I have in the last 12 years. I'd bet that goes for hundreds or thousand of fellow DUers. I don't believe Senator Kerry would ask that of us if he didn't have knowledge that he had the votes to at least sustain a filibuster, nuke option be damned.
[Actually, Kerry has no problem asking that of you as long as it doesn't interfere with his Swiss ski vacation.]
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
[No, Bluto. It wasn't.]
Akaka and Dorgan support cloture as well.
This was over before it started.
[Point. Set. GAME!]
Tell Howard Dean to Pack up the tent! I think Dean is great, but he has failed to organize this Party!
F*ck the Beltway Dems, f*ck the DLC, f*ck the DSCC and the DCCC. F*ck the "consultants". F*ck the whiners and chokers. Work with us and kick these mofos out the door.
damn right. we have to now to help kerry not face total humiliation and ridicule. we put him there. damn.......
[Especially the ridicule.]
i want..... the f*ckin repugs out. i want my life back. and for dems to continually take down the dems........ is f*ckin with my want. at least kerry has hillary and kennedy and a few more. that is good of them to stand with him. now lets watch the people on this board attack kerry some more. and the media.
[Yeah. Hillary has Kerry's back... (snort!)]
boy that was fast , less than a 24 hours buzz and it's over.
[That's pretty much the duration of a typical Pied Piper Pitt Scoop Cycle.]
The optimist in me says Kerry simply did the right thing, and earned the respect of the base by doing so. The cynic in me says he did this knowing it was doomed, but wanted to revive his standing with the base in hopes for an '08 run. Political theater and all.
Either way, Kerry comes out of this stronger.
[Kerry comes out STRONGER by cynically supporting the filibuster in plain sight just to boost his base for '08? And what have you been drinking lately at Bukowski's, Pitt?]
While I don't hold the same view that it's over yet, Will, even I am trying not to be cynical that Kerry is grandstanding.
[You're just on the verge of WINNING a Kewpie Doll!]
JK has nothing to lose politically--and maybe something to gain--by supporting filibuster. He plays to his base just like all the others do. He picked up a few points among people like us. People that didn't like him before still don't like him. People on the fence probably aren't paying attention. At best, a zero-sum game.
[And people that laughed at Kerry before STILL laugh at him.]
A filibuster was shooting the moon. We came damned close.
[I beg to differ, Pitt. A filibuster was more like shooting the foot.]
Well, it is certainly a good idea to face the reality of the situation. A little dose of "probably" to help stave off, or at least modify all the anguished drama, rending of robes, and hair-tearing that is bound to come with failure. The drama that sadistic trolls so love to observe here on DU.
["Hee! Hee!" chuckled the sadistic troll.]
Even IF this is over we need to continue to be annoying
[The ONE thing you are successful at.]