Monday, January 30, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 01-30-06 ("I've got IT!"---DUmmie Finds BRILLIANT Way To Defeat GOP)

Watch out, Republicans! A DUmmie "genius" by the name of Up2Late has figured out a way to defeat you at the polls. You will be impressed by the incredible effectiveness of his ingenious plan which you can see on this DUmmie THREAD titled, "I've got IT!" For those of you who will remain unimpressed by DUmmie Up2Late's brilliant strategy, I guess you can chalk it up to a severe case of Alitosis on his part. This disease is currently rampaging throughout DUmmieland. The main symptom of Alitosis is a complete loss of rational faculties accompanied by a plunge into delusional fantasies. I expect the Alitosis disease to reach its fevered peak right after the filibuster vote scheduled for later today. So let us enjoy the DUmmie outbursts of Alitosis in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, welcoming Up2Late as the Democrat version of Karl Rove, is in the [brackets]:

I've got IT! And by "It" I mean the destroy the GOP strategy, that will...leed to the self-destruction of the GOP.

[Shhh...IT! So you've got IT! Oh do tell, DUmmie Up2Late. Enlighten us with your political strategy wisdom that will "leed" to the self-destruction of the GOP.]

The only problem is, we need a brave House or Senate Democrat who is relatively unknown (nationally), is willing to take a BIG political risk, has STRONG Democratic support at home, and who wouldn't mind possibly being chosen President of the United States in 2008 by popular consensus.

[Such a downer. A Senate Democrat has to take a political risk and all he gets in exchange is a lousy job as President. Continue...]

As I'm sure you know by now, the GOP has captured a Huge number of swing/undecided voters by doing one thing: They keep their message simple, though I think they may have made it so simple as to make it VERY deceptive. Duh, right?

[At least you are correct in the "DUh" part. Continue with your political enlightenment, DUmmie Up2Late.]

Here's the strategy. The GOP message is so over simplified that it can be easily proved as LIES! So let's just call them what they are, Lairs!


[BRILLIANT! ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!!! Karl Rove is now quaking in his boots at your discovery of a campaign strategy that will sweep away forever the EVIL Republicans from the political scene!]

Now I know, some of you are going to say, "But my Brother's a Republican, and HE'S not a Lier." Shut-up! Yes he is.

[All, ALL of the EVIL Republicans are "LIERS!!!" You think different? Shut up! They are ALL "liers!!!"]

And once we plant this simple truth in the MSM and the minds of the "undecided" voters, any Republican that claims He/She is NOT a lier will have to OFFER PROOF that they are NOT a lier, which, while doing so, will expose themselves and their fellow liars/Republicans as the lier they are.

[Hey Republican! You just shut up and try to prove you are not a "lier!" Every news report about Republicans will just assume they are "liers!" Every time a Republican tries to debate a Democrat, he must first try to prove he is not a "LIER!"]

If you need any proof of the FACT that Republicans are liars, just look around. Read the News from the last 5 years, everything they have said and done for the last 5 years is ALL based on Lies!

[And we don't need no stinkin' facts because we just assume that EVERYTHING the Republicans say are just a bunch of Lies! And not only are they "liers" but they are a bunch of lousy Poo-Poo Heads too!]

Yes, we might lose a few Democrats along the way, GOOD! I say Good riddens to them. They are a taint on the Democratic party. If this results in a house cleaning of corrupt Democrats too, I welcome it.

[Good "riddens" to the Democrats who don't want to call all Republicans "liers!"]

We need to STOP explaining how what we say is the truth, because what they say is ALL Lies, and it's time that the non-committed Democrats wake up to that fact. Let them try to explain why what they say is NOT a lie, they will only dig themselves deeper and deeper into the hole they are currently in.

[We don't need to waste our time arguing with Republicans. We just call them a bunch of "liers." Let them try to deny that they are "liers," oh, and lousy Poo-Poo Heads as well.]

So, for 2008: The Democratic party: The party of the Truth.

[I will now bask in the glow of DUmmie admiration as my fellow DUmmies tell me how BRILLIANT I am.]

Everybody knows Republicans lie about everything.

[Oh, that is an indisputable fact but DUmmie Up2Late has turned that fact into a political strategy for bringing down the EVIL Republicans. Sit at the feet of the Wise One and sip at the brilliant golden cup of his sage political analysis.]

Everyone knows, but still, it's not said often enough what liars they are. We need to take the offense, and this is one of the ways. Just like the other side made the phrase "flip flop" stick, we need to make the phrase "Republican liars" a part of American vocabulary. "Fox Republican News"...Never mention the word Fox without the word Republican next to it. "Republican liars"...Never mention one word without the other. If it's said often enough and in the right places, they're automatically guilty by association

[Whenever a Republican tries to argue with you, just place your hands over your ears and scream over and over and over again: "REPUBLICAN LIARS! REPUBLICAN LIARS! REPUBLICAN LIARS!" That's the way to win arguments with those lousy Poo-Poo Heads.]

The problem, of course, is the corporate media.
Unless you have some other means of getting out the message. maybe just big billboards everywhere:


[BRILLIANT! Those billboards will absolutely convince the majority of the voters because the message is INDISPUTABLE. Way to slam the Republicans!]

It will work be cause they ARE liars, and would have to prove they...are NOT. All Politicians lie in one way or another, the difference is, Democrats do it (or should) for the greater good, Republicans lie for the select few.

[Republicans tell BAD lies and Democrats tell only GOOD lies.]

Democrats who lie, do it for the RIGHT reasons...

[All Democrat lies are GOOD lies.]

No matter what happens with Alito this week, I think we must all stay engaged and find ways to keep on being "pro-active", especially in ways that challenge the far right in a very direct way.

[Such as billboards that say: "ALL REPUBLICANS ARE LIARS!"]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

And how exactly is this strategy different from current Dem strategy....!??

11:32 AM  
Blogger Icarus said...

All right, P.J. ... I'm raising the big brown flag o' bullpuckey on this one.

This thread *cannot* be real. There is *no* way that this was intended as a serious discussion. No thinking being could possibly have uttered these hilarious blatherings with a straight face.

Clearly, this is intended as parody. Satire. In fact, you probably wrote the whole thing. And all the replies.

Right? Right?

Jesus wept. What is wrong with these people?

I want a new constitutional amendment: prior to walking into a voting booth, every voter must READ what Democrats actually think and feel and say.

Only the uninformed can ever vote for Democrats. Clearly.

Pretty funny ... but sad, too. How can they be so willfully, intentionally dumb?

And as I've said before, P.J. -- keep up the good work showing people what Democrats really do say and feel.

1:11 PM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

Well, there goes my "ALL DEMOCRATS ARE IDIOTIC TRAITORS" campaign.

1:50 AM  
Blogger Mr. Right said...


Probably because he has to get early for kindergarten... er.. "kindygarden" the next morning.

Honestly, could these threads get any dopier than this?

3:17 AM  

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