Monday, January 30, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 01-30-06 ("Why we won today" ---benburch)

There were a lot of weird DUmmie postings on the heels of the FAILURE of the Alito filibuster attempt. However, the STRANGEST of the postings has to go to benburch who posted on this DUmmie THREAD, "Why we won today." Yeah, great win there, benburch. Oh, and did you know that John Kerry really won in 2004? And I suppose you are sitting in the backyard still waiting for the arrival of the Great Pumpkin and Fitzmas. Yes, all DUmmieland is in a deep funk but leave it to DUmmie benburch to find some silver lining in their septic tank. So let us now allow DUmmie benburch entertain us with this "WIN" in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who wonders if the Coyote considers it a win everytime the ACME Co. package explodes in his face, is in the [brackets]:

Why we won today.

[Didn't the captain of the Titanic claim the same thing as his ship slipped beneath the waves?]

I know what you are thinking; "Has Ben finally gone around the bend? We lost today. Alito is on the bench to destroy America."

[Actually I thought benburch went around the bend LONG ago.]

But we did win, and I'll tell you how;

[And NOW the comedy starts...]

Eight days ago, there was no opposition to Alito whatsoever. No filibuster was planned, and even had one been started, there was not a chance in hell that anybody but the one Senator to propose it would vote against cloture. The Far Right had just had "Justice Sunday" an illegal use of the pulpit to promote a political agenda which they spent millions of dollars on in order to motivate their zombie-like zealots, and it looked like no opposition was even possible.

[BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Just 24 Democrats plus Jumpin' Jim vote for the filibuster and THAT is a victory? You're on a roll, benburch!]

In that eight days, we worked a miracle; We got the man who was elected President in the last stolen election to declare that he was going to filibuster, and we got MANY (I don't have the final count) Democratic Senators to vote NAY on cloture. We organized a campaign entirely through our resources here on the Internet, and swamped every fax machine and phone line in Washington DC and elsewhere with our message to vote against Alito and against cloture. We have proven that we can motivate and act with little money and few resources a campaign that nearly set the massively funded GOP Fascist Juggernaut on its ear.

[Yes, tremendous filibuster attempt by John Kerry (D-Davos) from the Swiss ski slopes. He got only a little over half of the Democrats to go along with the filibuster. But but continue with your win spin...]

And we learned who our friends are; Those Senators, bloggers, and broadcasters who stood by us, or who were honest enough to be convinced by us to support our Cause deserve our praise and unending support in the dark days to come.

[You also had tremendous support from the sanity-challenged community.]

As for our enemies; All of the GOP Fascists and those Quislings who voted Aye on cloture, we now know your names. We know your districts, and we will see each and every one of you defeated in turn.

[Great. Turn on your fellow Democrats who voted Aye on cloture. Eat your own party alive. Oh, and congrats on the "WIN."]

The fight is before us.

[This fight already left the station this afternoon.]

It may be a dark and literally deadly struggle for some of us, but it must be fought and fought with the sort of tenacity that I saw in these last blessed days. Let the last week be remembered as the week we first stood as one, and not the last.

[I prefer to think of it as YET another case of Lucy pulling the football away from you AGAIN.]

Comrades! Are you with me in the fight to take back America?

[Sure. Why end the comedy tour? It is proving great material for the DUmmie FUnnies. And now to read about your DUmmie comrades jubilantly celebrating this "WIN!"]

You are right, Ben, and we now know the score.

[The score: 74 to 25. Congrats on your tremendous "WIN!"]

I have always tried to be a "my glass is half-full" kinda gal. It has been rather hard these past years but words like yours give one hope...again.

[NEWSFLASH! Your glass is completely EMPTY.]

Look, I am not flaming you, but I couldn't disagree more. When the supreme court goes hard right on every ruling because of Alito, are you going to think of this day as a victory?

[Absolutely! Isn't this "WIN" just wonderful? Let us all CELEBRATE this "WIN" with DUmmie benburch!]

but of course they won. i was in it for three days, night and day, felt good to think we might have a chance. but really, reality..... we never had a chance. dems tried, grassroots grew, and we have about a third of dems we can count on and work with. we know who to go to

[HEY! Come on! Put on your party hat! Let's all join DUmmie benburch in celebrating this "WIN!"]

I think the Repubs will be plenty happy winning battles overwhelmingly even if they never anticipated the battle.

[True. The Alito battle was enjoyable made even more so by the salsa spice of the doomed Democrat filibuster struggle thrown in.]

They are gloating!! Ted Kennedy spoke about an article in the paper where the Repug's were gloating all over the place. He quoted something like them saying, "We've got them boxed in." I shouldn't be surprised. I an't stand this.

[True. We are GLOATING as evidenced by you all being featured in this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies. However, one difference between us and you DUmmies. We gloat only AFTER the WIN takes place not before when based on phony exit polls.]

It was a long shot, and we didn't get the result we wanted. But we now know who we can trust, and who we cannot.

[PURGE the Democrat AYE voters! Eat your own!!!]

Same shit different day.

[Same Lucy football. Pulled away every day.]

Kerry went on vacation. We got hung out to dry.
And we did, again, today. How many times do they get to f*ck us over before we call it what it is and say ENOUGH

[John Kerry (D-Davos) has your back.]

this is good stuff. i am not depressed, i am impressed. yes i am. right there with you dude

[Better take another hit on that good stuff, dude, before reality kicks back in.]

The Democrat Party: Always Too Little Too Late. I do not share your optimism.

[But you must. You MUST! Put on a Happy Face. WHEEEEEE!!! It was a "WIN!!!"]

I love your optimism Ben, but I feel like shit...I feel like I did all I could, but could I have done more?

[Yes! You could have put on a phony benburch smile in celebration of this "WIN!"]

Dust off, drink a pint, and plan for the next battle.

[And take a hit on the crack pipe.]

Goodbye, America. It was nice knowing you.

[Goodbye, Mr. Optimist.]

Where's a St. Crispin's day speech when you need one?

[Since you guys got fried today, A St. Crispy speech would be more appropriate.]

I will not yield. I'm in it to the end. Let those who don't have the stomach for this long term fight leave. I wouldn't die in their company if they will not stand with us.

[You're in it until the box next to your 'puter screen runs out of donuts.]

I'm with you...but you know what really pisses me off?
Knowing that those f*cks are laughing and mocking our failed effort. So smug.


that's putting frosting on dogshit.

[That's pretty much the theme of this benburch thread.]

We won because we joined the battle. We did not lay down and just take it. And we will remove Alito when we win. And we will undo much of the damage.

[Enjoying your frosting-covered dogshit, benburch? And would you mind telling us peons how a lifetime appointed Supreme Court justice can be removed?]

I am with you. We are all with you. More people than who were counted in the last election are with you. And we're going to take back America, no matter what. If we can't do it today, we'll do it tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, until the Bushiviks are disposed of.

[That frosting-covered dogshit must be very yummie!]

It's the Vichy Democrats vs. the Patriotic Democrats.

[vs. the frosting-covered dogshit Democrats.]

Maybe so, Ben but it feels to me like we got our asses kicked.
I'm getting damned tired of moral victories.

[Just take a bit out of your frosting-covered dogshit and put on a big fake smile like you enjoy it.]

Are you kidding me? I don't know what the original poster is smoking, but what happened today was not only a loss, but a catastrophic loss at that.

[Perhaps you need to coat your dogshit dinner with a bit more frosting.]

agreed I'm so SICK of this fake optimism! America is lost for good. There is no going back.

[Just for that, no frosting-covered dogshit for dessert for you!]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is THIS finally the day when everything changed?

11:36 PM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

Come on, Dems!... Turn those frowns upside down!


2:48 AM  
Blogger Icarus said...


That was schadenfreudilicious!! Yum!!

Rarely have I enjoyed another's pain so much. Keep yakking, Dems, you bunch of winners!

10:22 AM  
Blogger CB said...

By the way, apparently Sean Hannity reads DUmmie FUnnies... he referenced this DU thread on his show today. ;)

7:12 PM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

Hannity? Excellent!... Hey Sean, could you PLEASE bitchslap that Icabod-Crane-looking scarecrow who sits a little bit down the desk from you?


1:40 AM  

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