DUmmie FUnnies 01-27-06 ("Source tells me Kerry is now openly in favor of a filibuster" ---Pitt)
EVERYTHING you need to know about John Kerry's LAUGHABLE "effort" to organize a filibuster attempt against the confirmation of Samuel Alito as Supreme Court justice can be summed up in the first paragraph of this New York Times ARTICLE:
WASHINGTON, Jan 26 — Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts could not attend the Senate debate on the Supreme Court nomination of Judge Samuel A. Alito Jr. on Thursday. He was in Davos, Switzerland, mingling with international business and political leaders at the World Economic Forum.
Yeah, this filibuster is so vitally important that Kerry won't even be leaving the Swiss ski slopes to organize it. John Kerry has your back...on the ski lift. Read Robert Caro's EXCELLENT book, Master of the Senate, to find out how a true pro, Lyndon B. Johnson, operated when he was Majority Leader of the Senate. Whether you might have agreed or disagreed with his politics, Johnson has been recognized as the greatest Senate leader in terms of actually getting things DONE. He NEVER tried any dopey last minute attempts to change a vote outcome. Johnson would work for weeks in ADVANCE up close with Senators. It is impossible to imagine Johnson phoning in his vote pleas to senators while vacationing on South Padre Island. Therefore, I would like to thank John Kerry for offering a bit of last minute comedic relief in the Samuel Alito confirmation. Meanwhile Pied Piper Pitt tried to convince the DUmmies yesterday that he had some sort of Kerry filibuster scoop as you can read in his THREAD titled, "Source tells me Kerry is now openly in favor of a filibuster." Unfortunately for Pitt, his "scoop" turned out to be NOTHING NEW as one could easily have read a few paragraphs down in the same Times article:
Mr. Kerry has been rallying his supporters against the nomination for weeks in mass e-mail messages and on his Web site. And when the Democratic caucus met Wednesday to discuss the nomination, he gave an impassioned plea that the party should try to stage a filibuster even if it failed, people present said, speaking only if granted anonymity because the meeting was private. Some senators at the meeting said an unsuccessful filibuster would leave the party weakened for future battles.
So let us now watch Pied Piper Pitt, along with his fellow DUmmies, bask in the glow of Pitt's STALE scoop about John Kerry organizing a filibuster from the Swiss ski slopes in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching Kerry's filibuster comedy act from atop a ski lift, is in the [brackets]:
Source tells me Kerry is now openly in favor of a filibuster
[John Kerry has your back...on the Swiss ski lift.]
["I DON'T FALL DOWN! THE SON OF A BITCH KNOCKED ME OVER!!!"]
"Kerry is now publicly in support of a filibuster and he is currently working with colleagues in the Senate to get the necessary support - 41 votes"
[Kerry's fellow senators will certainly be impressed with Kerry phoning in his filibuster support from Switzerland.]
Looking for added info to support this.
[Try reading the newspapers or the Web, Pitt. They already reported that Kerry tried to organize a filibuster attempt on Wednesday, a full day before your stale "scoop."]
Boy, If He Can Pull This Off, I'd Give Him Another Look
[See that bright little dot skiing way down that Swiss mountain? Go ahead and give him another look.]
I talked to his office about 30 minutes ago about the same thing. Their advice: call senators around the country and ask them to join in!
[Yeah, you go ahead and do the dirty work while Kerry enjoys his Swiss ski vacation.]
O.K., How Long Do We Have To Call??
[Waste your time until Monday when your futile attempt is shot down.]
It's all about getting the 40 other senators. There is no filibuster to be had without that magic number.
[Kerry is phoning in his magic from Switzerland.]
It's not the days of "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" anymore
[Boris Karloff could play the starring role in "Mr. Kerry Goes to Switzerland."]
Go Kerry! and Good Luck to him. . .thanks for update, WilliamPitt
[Thanks for your STALE "scoop," William Pitt the Plunger.]
Kerry sounded pissed off yesterday, and not just in a righteous "Alito is bad for the country" sort of way, either - he sounded pissed at something that had happened. My guess is that there is a faction in the Dem caucus who actively do not want a filibuster and are throwing every monkey wrench they can in the way of Kerry and others who do want a filibuster.
[But not quite pissed off enough to break away from the Swiss ski slopes.]
He did look incredibly pissed off when he spoke yesterday, so I'm not surprised.
[I'm not surprised either. Kerry was pissed off that the filibuster thing was taking valuable quality time away from his Swiss ski vacation.]
Kerry already said he was in favor of a filibuster last weekend. But no one else was saying anything with the new 'F' word in it.
[Oh, Kerry said it LAST weekend? So much for Pied Piper Pitt's STALE "scoop."]
This was reported here a few days ago I believe. Someone posted they called Kerry's office and the staffer told the caller what Kerry was up to. I'm glad to hear he's still working on this and I hope and pray he's successful. I've signed every petition I could, Emailed etc.
[Another not-so-subtle derision of Pied Piper Pitt's STALE "scoop."]
noone has VOTED yet ... we need the names of the lilly-livered ones from the dem side who won't support a filibuster and plague them with calls ... does ANYBODY have any intelligence on that info??? yo, Pitt, how about using your source to get us a scoop NOW!!!!!
[Pied Piper Pitt will get you the scoop on that as soon as the filibuster vote is over.]
Yay, Kerry's waking up! Two years late, but OK!
[Kerry is waking up with a WONDERFUL view of a Swiss mountainside.]
Sorry but flame all you want, this is typical Kerry... Knowing that the filibuster is dead, it's now safe for him to come out and say he's for it.
[And this DUmmie WINS a Swiss Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]
Democratic Senator Johnson from SD voting yes, won't support filibuster.
[And you're surprised? How? I do know that Pied Piper Pitt in another DUmmie thread actually proposed that just because a senator promised to vote FOR Alito didn't necessarily mean that he would also oppose a filibuster. The political wisdom of Pitt; on display in the Comedy Museum.]
If he can't get 41 votes ... Can he insist on READING my name into the Congressional Record?
[That sounds like a Pied Piper Pitt Wet Dream.]
I called Pryor and Lincoln. I got a busy signal once with Lincoln.
[And you're still on hold with Pryor.]
I just hung up from talking with a staffer who said the same thing, that Kerry is publicly supporting a filibuster and is now working with other senators to get the necessary votes.
[How? By talking to those senators on a phone line from his Swiss ski lift?]
Is this like sources say Kerry lawyers are going to challenge Ohio 2004? We've been down this road before
[Or, more accurately, we've been down this slippery ski slope before.]
Maybe Kerry should be Majority Leader?
[Um...first the Democrats need a Senate MAJORITY for that to happen. If it did, Kerry could phone in his leadership agenda from Switzerland.]
I hope your source is right, Mr. Pitt.
[We already know his source was LATE.]
Godamm it-he's just working on it now? Always a day late and a dollar short. Kerry is unable to lead. He's unable to get people to follow him.
[Another Swiss Kewpie Doll is IN THE MAIL!]