Thursday, September 30, 2010

Head DUmmie Skinner is BACK, and with a SURVEY!

Head DUmmie Skinner goes for months on end running DUmmieland like an absentee landlord. Inevitably, chaos ensues, the inmates get out of hand, they're at each other's throats, and so Skinner feels compelled to drop in and announce that FROM NOW ON, EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE DIFFERENT! But true to Skinner's indecisive and inconsistent nature, and true to the nature of DUmmies as DUmmies, before long the inmates are running the asylum again. And so it goes.

But that's what we love about the place! Skins's Island is our DUmmie Ant Farm, providing us with HOURS of endless entertainment! Take today's thread, for example. Head DUmmie Skinner announces the Next Big Thing that's going to FIX DUmmieland: The Dynamic DUo, Skinner and his Mini-Me, Assistant Head DUmmie EarlG (the two of them pictured above), are going to be taking a more "hands-on" approach and--ta da!--there's going to be A SURVEY! A "DUmmie Member Attitudes Survey"--yes, that'll fix everything! A bright new DUmmieland, where everybody gets along, is just around the corner! The Big Announcement is here in this
THREAD, "Hello, my name is David. I'm one of the administrators here on Democratic Underground." (Skinner's real name is David Allen.)

So let us now peer into our DUmmie Ant Farm and enjoy our own private reality show, "Skins's Island," in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of yours truly, saying "Hello, my name is Charles Henrickson, I'm one of the humble correspondents here at DUmmie FUnnies," is in the [brackets]:

Hello, my name is David. I'm one of the administrators here on Democratic Underground.

[Skinner! So glad you could drop by! The inmates must have been running a little wild, eh?]

I was a more visible administrator before 2007.

[Ineffective, but at least not invisible like lately.]

That's when my first child was born. . . .

[Who was the sperm donor?]

EarlG, one of the other DU Administrators, has a similar story.

[He found a sperm donor too?]

I think it's apparent that it has not been a complete success.

[It's a parent.]

we both once again find ourselves with more time to devote to Democratic Underground. In other words: You'll be seeing us more often from now on.

[They're BACK! Oh, thank Gaia! Now everything will be FINE! The Dynamic DUo, back with a HANDS-ON approach!]

We signed a lease on a new office on Monday, so EarlG and I will be back together in the same room for the first time in three years.

[Skinner's mom is letting them use the attic.]

EarlG is back writing the Top 10 Conservative Idiots (at least until the elections in November).

[November, when your Progressive asses get WHIPPED by those Conservative Idiots!]

Tomorrow we will unveil our first-annual Democratic Underground Member Attitudes Survey.

[No, no, this is too much! The Dynamic DUo back, PLUS, a SURVEY?!?! Skinner, you are too good to us!! This is like the Golden Age of Everything dawning upon us from on high!]

The purpose of the survey is to collect some hard data to help us figure out who our members are, and how you feel about Democratic Underground.

[50% LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS, and, part two, we feel AMUSED!]

We hope that the results help give us some idea of where we go from here.

[Skinner is clueless.]

We're going to re-open the Ask the Administrators forum next week.

[Wow! Skinner and EarlG on the scene, a new Survey, AND Ask the Administrators! It's a Trifecta of Terrificness! DUmmieland is BACK, better than never!]

I know that Democratic Underground has seen some rough patches over the last year. . . .

["Rough patches"? You mean the constant civil war between the Progs and the Obamabots, the inconsistent tombstonings (of the Homo Community) and un-tombstonings (*cough* Pitt *cough*), the Rec/Unrec train wreck, the widely ignored DUmmieland Rules, the Invasion of the Freeper Trolls, etc., etc., etc.? Those rough patches?]

I love this place. There still isn't any other place quite like it on the Internet.

[It's a never-failing comedy goldmine, the mother lode! THANX, Skinner! Now let's hear from your loyal subjects . . .]

"re-open the Ask the Administrators" that forum . . . bled some of the lunacy/emotion from the main forums.

[Impossible. You cannot take the lunacy out of the main forums. That would be like trying to take the water out of the ocean.]

So the Skinner Box is back in play?

[Push the lever, and you get a food pellet, not an electric shock. Skinner will train you to be good, obedient, little DUmmies.]

Will the Hate Mailbag ever come back?

[DUmmieland IS a Hate Mailbag.]

are our trolls no longer interesting?

["Guess the Troll" only adds to the FUn!]

Hmm, maybe we should have a Sock Drawer in addition to a hate mailbag. For those "new" DUers who seem eerily familiar.

[Temporary Sockpuppets rising from the grave!]

Skinner and EarlG. . . . These two men apparently had no qualms whatsoever about taking on "traditionally" women's roles - those of being the primary caretaker for their children. That type of enlightenment and male/female equality can only flow into their oversight of this forum.

[DUmmieland, Home of the Emasculated Male.]

Welcome back to the forums! Skinner and EarlG! Elad, we love talking to you too. No, I'm not sucking up. You are genuinely thoughtful guys.

[Good little DUmmie! Here's a food pellet.]


[WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! We're gonna have a Survey, we're gonna have a Survey. . . .]

I'm a newer member . . .

[I.e., a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL. . . .]

now that dad's back, we probably should clean up a few of those piles of Cheetos that have been strewn about here and there. And maybe stash the blow-up dolls and other assorted toys in the closet.

[And pick up the pizza boxes while you're at it, mister!]

The member survey is a great idea.

[Even though it will do NOTHING. But we'll feel better about it.]

What's the plan for maintaining anonymity? Will anyone know who wrote what?

[Big Brother is watching you. You see that little webcam thingie on your computer? EarlG is looking at you, writing things down, even as we speak.]

So how are we to get any credit for super ass kissing?

[benburch wants to know.]

I have asbestos underwear.

[Democratic Undergarments.]

Darn. No more food fights in the cafeteria.

[Look, the vegans were always at a disadvantage anyways. . . .]

DU needs some attention - that's for certain.

[Seek professional help. An appointment in early-to-mid November might be a good idea.]

I love DU. It's weird. . . . The only place I see DU is on this modern boob tube. Nowhere else does it exist.

[It's a magical place, full of boobs.]

there are disagreements and genuine conflicts between members due to heartfelt differences and occasional personality clashes, but underneath it all, DU is a true community.

[A Band of Moonbats.]

Can the three of you actually make a decent wage running DU?

[$kimmer is only $10 away from making a decent living. Press the Donation Lever and get a food pellet.]

Some of us don't really know what function DU serves other than as message board for food fights, where serious discussion is cut off by snark.

[That's about it. I think you've nailed it. It's the Daze of Whine and Poses.]

I wanna take a survey!!!

[a. DU rocks and Skinner rules!
b. Progressives are cool and freepers drool!
c. Can't we all just get along?
d. All of the above.]

Guess I can cancel my post titled "Please Kick and Rec this thread to make Elad get a vasectomy."

[Thank you. That will make a vas deferens.]

DU is the one thing that kept me sane. . . .

[Boy, are YOU in trouble!]

Actually, I don't think the new office is any better. But it doesn't smell like french fries, which is a plus.

[Skinner has been disenfrenchfried.]

The fact is, DU has some very active cliques. . . .

[Almost like rival street gangs. The Bloods and the Craps, the Mods and the Off-Their-Rockers. . . .]

Hi, I haven't been here that long but. . . .

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! Prepare for tombstoning!]

Oh, in all honesty, I love being able to cuss and read cuss words. . . .

[Well, you've come to the right place!]

Congratulations Mr. Skinner. I will definitely be filling in the survey and look forward to the Ask the Admin feature.

[Good DUmmie. Have a food pellet.]

If I might make one small suggestion. Please try and open up your forums to true debate. After my friend told me that he was banned from posts here because he said something critical of the left and positive about conservatives, I have been afraid ever since to say my real feelings out of fear.

[And you with only 15 posts?? NOT well played, LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

if you want to praise conservative positions There's always Free Republic to go to.

[Where do you think all of your trolls are coming FROM??]

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

"Do you drink coffee?"

If you have infiltrated DUmmieland, this is a good time to build up your post count leading up to the November election. And the best way to build up your post count is to post on non-political threads in which you might have have an interest such as this THREAD, "Do you drink coffee?" This is an easy one in which to participate especially if you are a caffeine fiend such as me. So let us now watch the DUmmies discuss java in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, suddenly craving a cup of iced coffee, in in the [brackets]:

Do you drink coffee?

[Of course. Coffee goes sooooo well with DUFUing.]

Personally, I don't. I've tried to drink a cup maybe twice in my life and failed miserably both times. I was younger then, so maybe I hadn't developed a taste for it yet, but I don't have any trouble waking up in the mornings. It just never seemed like something I needed, but I know a number of people who just can't function without at least one cup of coffee.

[What a wimp! How do you "fail" at drinking coffee? Did you also fail to be toilet trained?]

Sp what about you, Loungers? Can you wake up on your own, or do you need that caffeine boost in the morning?

[I love to be highly caffeinated when laughing at the DUmmies. And now to the other DUmmies...]

Certified Barista and Coffeemaster. It used to be my job to love coffee. Best job I ever had, I'd go back in a heartbeat for the right money. The pay was crap.

[Am I the only one who absolutely HATES that pretentious Starbucks word, "barista?"]

2 cups a day (one at home and then a vanilla latte from starbux) it's ridiculously expensive - don't know why I do it.

[It's ridiculously expensive because you don't know how to use coupons. I recently picked up a half dozen FREE vacuum packs of Chock Full 'O Nuts coffee with coupons.]

Charbucks?! :puke: They over-roast and over extract to skimp on grounds. The end result is a bitter, sour tasting brew but I guess for a latte you might not really notice. I brew my own, even at the office (French press). I buy freshly roast from a local roaster for about $5 a pound.

[You're right about Charbucks. The first time I ever drank it, I thought they burnt the grounds by mistake. After checking out a couple of more Charbucks, I was shocked to discover that was the taste they actually wanted to serve was "Scorched."]

Nothing like a nice cup of coffee and reading DU first thing in the morning.

[Nothing like a nice cup of coffee and reading DUFUs first thing in the morning. ]

Drinker and former server. I was a badass foamer.

[Newsflash! You're still a foamer.]

No. I can't stand the smell of it.

[Actually it was the smell of coffee that caused me to become a drinker. I still remember the incredible smell of ground coffee from age 3 which led me to drinking the stuff.]

I like robust taste, but without too much brightness or earthiness, so I tend to steer away from most African coffees


We got a pound of Starbucks beans for christmas, and it really sucked - flavorless, weak shit.

[I was once given an expensive bag of Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee. Supposedly the best coffee in the world. But when I brewed the stuff it tasted like nothing but hot water with a vague coffee taste. Very disappointing. Anyway, copious quantities of coffee will keep me awake Election Night and the next day while DUFUing the melodramatics in DUmmieland. Hee! Hee!]

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Hey, DUmmie! Get off my lawn!

The DUmmies are coming! The DUmmies are coming! Well, one of them, at least. DUmmie struggle4progress is coming to a porch near you, going door to door to beg for votes for progressive candidates. Good luck with that! For every welcoming "We're so glad to see you," there are likely to be ten Walt Kowalskis saying, "Get off my lawn!"

But DUmmie struggle4progress is a real DUACo, embodying the spirit of the DUmmie Activist Corpse. Most DUmmies just sit in their mother's basement and pound out posts to their fellow DUmmies, but this guy gets out there and DOES something! Not that it will help much, when you're selling a bag of crap and calling it a pot of gold. But at least he's trying, as he recounts in this
THREAD, "I ring the bell, step back off the porch so I'm not crowding the door, and begin my silent count."

So grab your shotgun and head to the front door, where the DUmmies' pamphlets are in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who can see November from his porch, is in the [brackets]:

I ring the bell, step back off the porch so I'm not crowding the door, and begin my silent count. . . .

[If the name on the mailbox says "Kowalski," you might want to keep backing up.]

one thousand, two thousand, three thousand ...

[Counting the number of turndowns you'll get today?]

Nobody answers.

[They're hiding, waiting for you to go away.]

So I glance at my clipboard and start walking to the next address. . . . I pass a house, and another, and then there's a yell: Yes? What is it?

[Are you a census taker? Fuller Brush man? Mormon? Jehovah's Witness?]

He's finally answered the bell. . . . I shout back I'm a volunteer for the Dems. . . .

[Yuk! Worse than a JW!]

I stroll back near the porch, and explain who I'm looking for. Truth be told, I actually have no idea how to pronounce his name. . . .

[Ko-wal-ski. Walt Kowalski.]

He listens. Asks me to repeat a few things. Yes, he'll definitely vote and vote Democratic.

[This is where the fiction begins. . . .]

You got me, he adds.

[Short for "You've got to be kidding me!"]

It's not all wine and roses on the street, of course.

[On DUmmieland it's mostly whine and poses.]

Half an hour later, I'm driving up a dirt road looking for one house. . . . I've barely closed the car door when a guy comes out and hollers from the porch . . .

["Get off my lawn!"]

This, somehow, does not make his day; in fact, he becomes agitated and unhappy: Democrats? No thanks! Get out of here!

[A theme to be magnified by millions come November. . . . Thank you, DUmmie struggle4progress. Now let's hear from your fellow DUmmies . . .]

Thank you !

[Thank you for doing the work that we lazy DUmmie slacktivists aren't willing to do.]

God bless you & good luck to you. I can't do tat kind of volunteer work. . . .

[Gaia bless you! Me, I'm too busy playing Farmville to leave the basement.]

here in north Ga, I could go for days...weeks...without ever hearing anyone smile and say YES, I'm voting Dem!

[Guess what? It's spreading.]

You're doing God's work.

[If your God is . . . oh, I don't know . . . SATAN?!]

How completely inspirational. You're motivating me.

[I think I'll stop playing Farmville and . . . write a LETTER TO THE EDITOR! Woo! DUAC! DUAC!]

Get out there and meet some folk. Wear out some shoe leather. . . .

[Get out there and wear out some folk. Meet some shoe leather. . . .]

I'd love to stuff envelopes or do any kind of (non-programming) computer or other office work for a Dem, but they claim to need only phone bankers or canvassers, and I am entirely incapable of being either of those things.

[Basically, you're just entirely incapable. But that's the old DUAC spirit! What drive! What initiative!]

I sure hope some of the more composed DUers will get a spark of enthusiasm from this.

[It only takes a spark . . . to get a fire going. . . .]

In one neighborhood I walked earlier this week . . . a few people tooted and waved when driving by. . . .

[Was it a wave or a one-finger salute?]

My wife has been walking our District for the last couple of months. . . .

[Well, it IS a tough economy, I know, but still. . . .]

These feel like those Infiniti ads from the 90's.

[These are Insaniti ads.]

Sowing the seeds that will lead to Victory.

[Which reminds me: Back to Farmville!]

Truly an activist.

[DUmmie struggle4progress, you're a real DUACo! Now get off my lawn.]

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Kerry Blames Stupid Voters For Democrat Problems

The DUmmies seem to mostly agree with John F. Kerry's OBSERVATION that stupid voters are to blame for the current problems of the Democrats. Ummm... Who's stupid here, John? This is a guy who had a grandmother that spoke with a Yiddish accent yet supposedly he never once displayed the least bit of curiosity as to how he had a name like "Kerry." Or maybe it was explained to him that Granny's lapses into a vaguely Germanic foreign tongue were merely a ancient form of Gaelic as spoken in the section of Ireland known as County Kohn. Of course, Kerry might not be the stupidest politician out there. That prize has to go to his 2004 running mate who made a sex tape with his mistress and somehow thought it would remain permanently unknown to the public. A piece of advice. Sex tapes of famous people NEVER remain hidden from view. Anyway, the DUmmies seem to mostly agree with Kerry about the supposed stupidity of American voters as you can see in this THREAD, "Kerry blames out-of-touch voters for Democrats' midterm image troubles." So let us now watch the stupid DUmmies analyze Kerry's stupid opinion about why the voters are rejecting the Democrats in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, aka The Coupon Whisperer, is in the [brackets]:

Kerry blames out-of-touch voters for Democrats' midterm image trouble

[I still have the image of Kerry wearing that Bunny Wabbit outfit in 2004.

Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) this week said an uninformed public is largely to blame for the Democrats' problems heading into November's midterms, the Boston Herald reports. “We have an electorate that doesn’t always pay that much attention to what’s going on so people are influenced by a simple slogan rather than the facts or the truth or what’s happening,” Kerry said Friday in Boston, according to the Herald. "A lot of the anger today — while it’s appropriate because Washington is broken — is not directed at the right people.

[The problem for Kerry and the Democrats is that the electorate is paying TOO MUCH attention to the foibles of the Democrats. Now on to the DUmmie Peanut Gallery...

They should be the Republicans

[Yes, it's the Republicans fault for serving up the crap sandwich known as ObamaCare.

Kerry knows all about "out of touch"! And how to f*ck off an election

[Bev Harris is just $10 away from making that election right.]

He is an everyday working mans senator

[Who happens to live in his wife's mansion in Nantucket and sails around on a tax avoidance yacht.]

The fact is that Obama helped the economy turn


you talk of things that are not even legally in effect yet, try waiting to see if all the pretty words really come true. & since you mentioned Kerry: what happened on 2004 when he continually claimed he had "Lawyers lined up to challenge any voting irregularities"?

[That was mostly WILLIAM RIVERS PITT making those claims about papers being filed in obscure Ohio courthouses. Those election results will be overturned in just 24 business hours.]

I don't see where he has done anything even remotely approaching "exceptional." His performance has been poor to mediocre, at best.

[EEEEK! How dare you question the abilities of the Mighty Ozbama? Your tombstoning will go into effect...NOW!]

blame the voters. thats a sure way to win.

[And don't forget to blame Bush!]

Kerry is about the 6th most liberal person in the Senate

[Lenin, Stalin, and Mao must be among the other five.]

The media is assisting the Republicans in distorting the message

[In what alternate universe is Katy Couric and Brian Williams helping the Republicans?]

Why is it not clear to the Democratic leaders by now that they need to persuade some of the ubber-rich liberals to buyout and own some news media in order to counter the rethugs and Faux News as well as other so-called conservative media - beats my imagination.

[I think they already own leftwing media called NBC, CBS, ABC, PBS, NPR, etc.]

We do need to be able to counter the RW BS as soon as it is being spun. They have a neatly thread network that gets out their twisted messages in no time at all. And, it becomes the first thing many news outlets and even ordinary people see,hear about and read.

[ONE network only is not lockstep liberal and that has the DUmmies in a panic mode.]

they stuffed the electronic ballot boxes, THAT is why we got 8
nightmare years, plus a GOP gov in Georgia, only Republicans allowed to be in the same room while recounting votes, etc.

[Getting that excuse line up to explain away this November's election results?]

Kerry - you and your buddies let out a huge fart. Don't blame it on the dog. For God's sake, take some responsibility for your own stink.

[Note to Obama and Democrats: Take responsibility for your own stink.]

No Shit.. Kerry is a Jackass for this remark.

[Your Kewpie Doll will arrive right after your tombstoning ceremony.]

Kerry hardly gets what he says right.. Just look at 2004 and his boners during the campaign

[So that explains why Kerry had to loudly order an EXTRA LARGE jockstrap in front of reporters. Got that? EXTRA LARGE!]

I've ever since been convinced that he purposefully threw the election with that whole Swift Boat think and his spineless response.. Kerry is an owned man, just like the rest of the Blue Dogs, Hillary, biden and Obama included. They are nothing more than sock puppets like Bush*

[How about a Temporary Sock Puppet like a certain patron of Bukowski's?]

Saturday, September 25, 2010

DUmmies kick the Blue Dogs!

What the DUmmies don't realize, or won't admit, is that they are the "Tea Party" of the Democrats--only loonier and more extreme. Whereas we conservatives have to deal with RINOs, they get frustra--they get FURIOUS over what they see as DINOs and Blue Dogs! Who are these "Blue Dogs," you ask? Oh, they're still Big-Government libs, but since these are Democrats who have to get elected in swing districts and states, the Blue Dogs try not to come across as quite the over-the-top, Marxist, anti-traditional-morality, hate-America venom-spewers that the DUmmies are.

This upsets the DUmmies, and so they take to kicking the Blue Dogs, as we see here in this
THREAD from DUmmie Stinky The Clown, "I have long held that we are better off with a majority that includes Blue Dogs than . . . . . ." But the tension, of course, is that without the Blue Dogs, the Democrats will be hard pressed to hold onto their majorities in Congress, which are looking precarious enough already.

Tense DUmmies make for FUnnie DUmmies! So let us now watch the Teed-Off Party take their free-floating anger out on the Blue Dogs, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, thankful there's a civil war on the left to match our civil war on the right, is in the [brackets]:

I have long held that we are better off with a majority that includes Blue Dogs than being a minority and not controlling committees.

[In the words of benburch: I smell a "but" coming on . . .]

I am no longer so comfortable in that thinking.

[I knew it!]

We have held a Congressional majority since 2006. We got to set the agenda.

[And for the last two years, with unstoppable majorities and a socialist in the White House! What could be better?]

There was not one official minute of testimony about stolen elections.
There was not one official minute of testimony about oil meetings.
There was not one official minute of testimony about why we went to war in Iraq.
There was not one official minute of testimony about war crimes by the leadership.
There was not one official minute of testimony about many things that actually, really, honestly MATTER.

[There was not one official minute when the DUmmies were actually happy. Gore and Kerry are NOT in the White House, Bush and Cheney are NOT at the Hague--THOSE are the things that really MATTER!]

Maybe we're better biting the bullet now, casting off the Blue Dogs, and working to get real Democrats elected. Or maybe not.

[Oh, go ahead and KICK those Blue Dogs! It'll make you feel better!]

I have this very strong "f*** 'em" streak of real antipathy toward the Blue Dogs who have, in actual fact, f***ed US at every chance.

[The quick blunt f***s jumped all over the lousy Dogs. . . . Thank you, Stinky The Clown. Now let's hear from your fellow dog-kickers . . .]

Obama gives pretty speeches. Isn't that enough?

[I detect a note of sarcasm.]

I'm very sorry, but simply saying "We suck less" isn't going to cut it.

[That giant sucking sound you hear. . . .]

I have said it before and i will say it again. I want Dean back. . . .


Do you know something about our political system that I dont? . . . See, I like to live in the real world and in the real world, there are only 2 political parties in this country, one of them is full of racist, scumbag pieces of sh*t who hold disgusting ideological beliefs. . . .

[OK, that would be the Democrats. . . .]

. . . and the other party is full of weaklings who are too afraid to stand up for whats right.

[The Republicans. Got it.]

I know how it is working out for the wall street boys, and the banksters and AGI , Citicorp boys & the UBS crooks and the CEO's of Comcast..they all got their bonus's....they are doing just fine! They even give out invitations to their weekly cocktail parties..with caterers, florists and all..and if you are really lucky you get to ride around on their Yachts ..parked at their mansion Beach homes..with magnum's of champagne flowing and the ever present martini's, while they laugh at you!

[Sounds like a weekend at John and Tuhrayza Kerry's, aka Thurston Howell III and Lovey.]

At what point woud you advise Mr. Brown to stop attempting the kick when Ms. Van Pelt is holding?

[Don't kick the FOOTBALL, Charlie Brown, kick a BLUE DOG! (Sorry, Snoopy.)]

Meet a Repuke half way and he'll bust your chops and leave you lying in your own blood in the middle of the road.

[And don't you forget it!]

Advocating for Democrats to lose and for Republicans to get the majority . . . why should that be allowed at DU, 39 days before an election?

[It's the DUmmie way!]

the Right. . . . They don't give a sh*t about anything. . . .
That's why they don't want unemployment insurance; cause they have jobs. . . .
That's why they don't give a sh*t about who might need Welfare, cause they have money to get by.
That's why they don't give a sh*t about immigration, cause they ain't immigrants.
That's why they don't care about the uninsured; cause they've got insurance.

[Those D*MN Rethuglicans! THINK of what those b*st*rds are DOING! They have jobs, they earn their own money, they're in this country legally, they're exercising personal responsibility. . . . D*MN them!]

That's why they don't care about college being more affordable; cause their kids are too stupid to go.

[Yet, somehow, those same stupid Rethuglicans manage to hold down jobs and earn money and purchase insurance. . . . I don't get it!]

When you diddle with the famous coffee table of incremental discography, it often happens that a floorboard foots into the representative inclination of fabulous.

[Exactly. Good point.]

Bleat statimus cranialitude fribeaticus homous. Trygerilt politentius dunkilty. Hektert fibernum, freeterp twitty repcilup tro dubbadec temes.

[Klaatu barada nikto.]

Doofus thermidor et un vrai clown qui pue. . . .

[Bottamazda shoodabottahonda.]



And they are trying to pick off our progressive committee chairmen one by one, like Charlie Rangel and Maxine Waters, I believe to replace them with corporate DLCers.

[Not Good Time Charlie and Mad Maxine! That's RACIST!]

maybe all blue dogs...ain't blue.

[You're a cryptic one, DUmmie TheIdiot.]

We need Dems who act like Dems. End of f***ing story.

[We need Dems who act like DUmmies. End of f***ing story.]

maybe we just needed to hand it over to the Republicans to speed the onset of the revolution. But we won't have a revolution until the pain becomes much much worse than it is right now. And it won't be just us revolting.

[Oh, believe me, you ARE revolting!]

Our guys don't stand up when they should, but the harm that Bush and Cheney inflicted will not be undone soon, perhaps not ever.

[It will NEVER be undone! NEV-VERR!!]

The issue is more our Congressional leadership. The Art of Arm Twisting is fast going the way of the dodo bird and dial telephones.

[Let's twist again, like we did last century . . .]

It is the same as having spies in your camp..They will block you at every turn, letting you believe that you are the "majority" and that you are in charge.

[Kinda like . . . LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!!]

Voters would not appreciate hearings on YOUR list of grievances. When the economy is on the edge of collapse and tens of millions of Americans are out of work? They (majority of Americans, via polling data) thought it was overreach when the Dems worked on health care last year. Seriously dude, you're barking up the wrong tree. There is a time and place for everything. Reversing the down slide of the 'near depression' economy is the only thing that Americans want to hear about right now. All that stuff you listed would just be considered, pointless grandstanding and cause a tsunami of losses for the Dems this fall.

[Congratulations, DUmmie Kahuna, you win today's Kewpie Doll for this Brief Moment of Mental Clarity®!]

we sure act like a bunch of dummies.

[Sorry, DUmmie truebrit71, DUmmie Kahuna beat you to the Kewpie Doll!]

I hate to say it but it's like high school all over again. The Dems are the nerds, and the rethuglicans are the jocks...and the jocks are kicking our ass. . . .

[Hey, DUmmie! . . . Yeah, you. . . . Come over here and carry my books!]

The one thing I really want to see, just once, is a Dem with power (i dunno, maybe the Prez) call these f***ers out and punch them squarely in the mouth. The ONLY way a bully learns is when you finally kick the ever-loving sh*t out of them, and that is the only way (metaphorically of course) that the current knuckle-dragging thugs running the gop will stfu once and for all.

[You do realize, don't you, that those "bullying" Rethuglicans have not had the numbers to stop ANYTHING you Democrats would want to pass? Remember, this is National Kick a BLUE DOG Week, not Rip a Republican.]

Blue Dogs weaken the entire Party. . . . it's becoming increasingly clear that more and more of these 'Dems' are sabotaging our agenda.

[The Blue Dogs ate our homework!]

The Blue Dogs do the work of the pukes while giving the Dems the blame. . . .

[It's a beautiful thing.]

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Sixth Anniversary Edition: It's not easy being a DUmmie

Today the DUmmie FUnnies is celebrating its SIXTH ANNIVERSARY! WOO-HOO! Yes, it was on September 22, 2004, that PJ-Comix posted the first official DUFU as its own feature on Free Republic. Over the years--and over a thousand Pingees later--we have found hours of endless entertainment in the rantings and ravings of the DUmmies of Democratic Underground, the KOmmies of Daily Kos, and the HUffies of Huffington Post. The Looney Left has provided us with loads of laffs!

And so for our Sixth Anniversary Edition, I have chosen a piece of quintessential DUmmieness, here in this
THREAD by DUmmie nashville_brook, "It's not easy being a Democrat."

In keeping with that theme, let's begin the festivities with this musical salute to our friends on the far-out left. Click a music link and sing along!

Tune: "Bein' Green"
MIDI Original

It's not that easy bein' DUmb
Havin' to manage with a mind that's kinda numb
When I think it could be nicer
Bein' sane or lucid or smart
Or something much more sensible than DUmb

It's not that easy bein' DUmb
It seems you squirm and suffer, not like all those lousy freeper scum
And people tend to think you're looney
'Cause you're out standing in the nighttime barkin' like a moonbat
Or beating a drum

But DUmb's the lot in life of some
And DUmb can be frank's fellow alum
And DUmb can be big like a bouncer
Or important like a pundit
Or poor like a bum

When DUmb is where you're comin' from
It could make you rather glum
But I'll just go flap my gums
I'm DUmb and it'll DU fine
It's comical
And I think it's what I have become

So let us now explore the exciting world of DUmmiedom, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, barely getting this DUFU in before our anniversary turns into a pumpkin, is in the [brackets]:

It's not easy being a Democrat.

[It's not easy being a DUmmie.]

Democrats, unlike Republicans, have the burden and the honor of representing The People of the country.

[Democrats are People. Republicans are . . . unlike People.]

As such, we're a multi-faceted group with a spectrum of interests reflecting the amazing quilt of Americans. . . .

[The DUmmies are a regular CRAZY QUILT of odds and ends! Well, mostly odds. . . .]

We're women and men.

[Sometimes at the same time.]

Gay and straight.


Hispanic, Anglo, African-American, Asian-American. From European roots. Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Hindu, Buddhist, Jewish.

[Strike that "Christian" part. Anything but that!]

Some are more privileged. Some come from nothing. Some are homeless. Some are unemployed. Some of us belong to Unions. Some work in professional services. Some in medical fields. Some are artists. Some are mothers. Some are childless. Some are disabled. Some speak english as a second language. Some speak english as a fifth or sixth language.

[Some write English as a form of torture.]

Some of us live in densely populated cities.

[Some of us are just dense.]

Some of us live on farms.

[You ALL live on our DUmmie Ant Farm! Hee! Hee!]

Some on the coast.

[Some in the basement.]

We're the every-changing fabric of this country. . . .

[You're the Polyester of Political Posturing.]

we don't believe that the magic hand of the free market will solve any of our problems.

[Marxists, not markets!]

we're a party of The People, and that's messy.

[Especially when it's people like benburch.]

As Democrats, it's our job to lift up those people up. . . .

[Good luck lifting up Fat Che!]

When we go to the table, we have to bring everyone with us.

[Except the rethuglicans. And the teabaggers. And the fundies. And. . . . OK, thank you, DUmmie nashville_brook. Now let's hear from your fellow inmates . . .]

Well said. It makes it even harder when the people supposedly representing us make sport of throwing as many of us under the bus as is humanly possible.

[Democratic Underbus.]

It is tough, this being a Democrat. . . . But, if you are gonna play in the pool, you have to choose which end to swim in... the deep end, or the shallow end with the babies.

[The DUmmies have gone off the deep end.]

I hope every Democrat has a chance to read this. . . .

[I hope every Democrat can read.]

So well said I wish I could Rec this 100 times!

[A Democrat getting ready for Election Day, I see.]

we have to wrap our arms around each other. . . .

[Again, good luck doing that with ben!]

We are bankers, defense contractors, and health insurers??

[No! Boo! They are not People!]

We *are* the world. We *are* the village.

[The village idiots. But that's what we love about you guys! Thanx and a big MWUH! from all of us here at DUmmie FUnnies for making this a FUn six years!]

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

KOmmies krushed that Feingold's losing!

One of the true-blue heroes of the Looney Left is Sen. Russ Feingold of Wisconsin. He is ADORED in DUmmieland, KOmmieland, and HUffieland, for being no sell-out to those evil DLC "centrists." No, not our Russ! Truly, Feingold has inherited the mantle of "Pugnacious Prog from the Northwoods," once worn by the sainted Paul Wellstone.

Well, guess what? Feingold is LOSING! Yes, you heard me! Our Favorite Russkie is trailing in the polls, even in a poll commissioned by the KOssacks themselves! What's going on here?? Has Wisconsin gone MAD?? Is it a nefarious plot? The KOmmies are BESIDE themselves in utter dismay! It's dire straits in the Dairy State, and you can read about here in this
THREAD, "WI-Sen/WI-Gov: Dems hurting with six weeks to go."

So let us now see the KOmmies in their Diary State, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, noting that tomorrow, September 22, is a significant date in DUmmie FUnnies history and therefore either PJ or I should do something special to mark the occasion, is in the [brackets]:

WI-Sen/WI-Gov: Dems hurting with six weeks to go

[Wha--WHAA??? Not WISCONSIN! How can this BE?? Even the COWS tip left in the Dairy State!]

Public Policy Polling for Daily Kos. U.S. Senate. 9/18-9/19. Likely Voters. MoE 3.8%

Ron Johnson (R) 52
Sen. Russ Feingold (D) 41

[Russ Feingold, tied for first in the pantheon of all-time great senators, losing to a . . . losing to some shmuck named RON JOHNSON??? And by ELEVEN POINTS?? No way!]

An enormous enthusiasm gap, coupled with a Republican nominee fresh from a decisive primary win and unsullied by the primary process, has catapulted Republican nominee Ron Johnson to a double-digit advantage over incumbent Democrat Russ Feingold, according to PPP's poll of the state on behalf of Daily Kos.

[And it's a KOmmieland poll to boot!]

The malaise with Democratic voters in the state is unmistakable. . . .

[Wisconsin is turning into Malaisia.]

If Feingold can make the election about Johnson, he has a chance of resurrecting this race. Clearly, he needs to find some formula for bringing the Democratic base to the polls. . . .

[Usually, that means resurrecting dead voters in Milwaukee.]

Perhaps Johnson will prove himself to be the kind of villain to motivate Democrats into action.

[He's a RACIST! No, wait, even better . . . He's a WITCH! BUUURRRN him!]

Can't Feingold talk about the Wisconsin voter caging scandal, to Johnson's discredit?

[This "caging scandal" is some nefarious plot that these KOoks have cooked up in their own imaginations, a plot by the rethugs and the teabaggers that will suppress voter turnout. Nonsense! We rethuglicans ENCOURAGE all you Democrats to get out there and VOTE on November 3!]

Or can we do a money bomb for Feingold?

[Somebody set up us the bomb!]

What is Feingold's campaign like?

[It's, like, eleven points behind.]

This is such a no-brainer. Feingold is one of our best. . . .

[Call him Russ PUREgold! Why, he's so fine, he should not even HAVE to run any more!]

He's not losing progressives. He's losing independents and Blue Hogs.

[The swine!]

He had a pretty successful Cheesebomb a couple of weeks back.

[PEEE EWWW!!! So THAT'S what I smelled!]

Oh, those are grim numbers for Feingold.

[Grimm's Fairy Tales, is more like it! There MUST be something fishy afoot!]


[WAKE UP! WAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUP W A K E U PPPPP!!!!!! We CANNOT lose Russ Feingold, or we will all surely DIE!!!]

I gotta send money to Feingold. It would be horrible to lose him.

[Moregold to Feingold--QUICK!]

this is terrible!

[Extreme handwringing!]

How naive can people be?

[It's . . . it's . . . beyond belief! Somebody must have ABDUCTED the Wisconsonites and replaced them with Wyomingans! They're rustling Russ voters out!]

we cannot lose Feingold

[Yes we can!]

We need to mobilize the student vote. They are on the front lines of the important issue of LGBT rights. We need to get the professors at UW-Madison to frankly do their job and educate students on the important issues of the day, namely cap-and-trade, repeal of DOMA/DADT and comprehensive immigration reform. It is up to the professors, they need to do their job in educating the students to get out and vote.

[INDOCTRINATE those skulls full of mush, you professors there at the state university! Madison isn't called "Moscow-on-the-Mendota" for nothing! C'mon, do your job!]

I'd like another rally in downtown Milwaukee to rev up the AA vote. . . .

[Call in Rev. Wright to rev 'em up! Make up some story about the White Man out to get you! That usually works.]

dKos enabling the Republicans?

[Is Head KOmmie Kos a Republican plant? A closet teabagger?]

No way is this an 11 point race.

[Way! But it could be 13 by the end of the week!]

Enabling the Republicans? What would you suggest? Magical thinking?

[Yes, yes! Magical thinking! That's the ticket! La de da de da! Russ is in the lee-ead! Russ is in the lee-ead! Oh, happy thoughts, happy thoughts. . . .]

they are turning against him because he's too liberal.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! There's no such thing as "too" liberal!]

his perceived "self-righteousness" and "priggishness" . . . have become problematic.

[Russ Feingold, the Priggish Prog.]

"It's the Hippies!" "It's the Obamabots!" Can we please put this idiocy aside at least until the election is over.

[No, please, don't stop!]

So,if he`d supported Obama (who`s down in the polls),He`d be up in the polls? I could get into that logic.

[Down is up, up is down, it's a crazy, mixed-up world.]

Give me a break. This is Feingold's doing. He's running ads trying to appeal to teabaggers. . . . He's pissing off the base and that is what is hurting him.

[All your base are belong to us. But remember, no liberal Democrat ever runs AS a liberal Democrat (i.e., socialist) in a statewide or national election. They do want to get elected, you know.]

Mr. PrimaDonna himself.

[Russ Feingold, aka Donna Red.]

He's always been a pain in the ass.

[benburch apparently has some inside knowledge on the senator.]

The Media was a big help in 2008 and here they are a drag.

[C'mon, Big Media, do your job! You were great in '08, but what have you done for us lately? I mean, this "the recession is over" story yesterday is a nice start, but step it up already!]

The numbers are clear. And, as mentioned, it's not just Feingold. You'll begin to notice a pattern. That is, if you're not in denial.

[OK, KOmmie SJerseyIndy, you win today's Kewpie Doll for this Brief Moment of Mental Clarity®! Congratulations!]

it is hard for Democrats to separate themselves from the economy. Since I think the driving factor in this election is the economy, and the economy isn't going to radically improve. . . .

[But wait! I thought the economy had ALREADY improved!! "Summer of Recovery" and all that? The Obama Miracle? I mean, really, I heard it on CNN, for goodness sakes!]

I see very little Feingold presence and a LOT of Republican presence. Many, many Rep ads on tv - VERY little for Dems. I'm losing Obey -- and the district is deep, deep red right now. This area is also very, very white. And Christian. Churchgoers. And aging . . .

[It's all those LUTHERANS! D*MN those Lutherans!]

I sent 10 dollars to his campaign when I heard about this.

[Russ Feingold was only $10 away from winning. But now that this KOmmie has sent in his sawbuck, Russ should have this thing wrapped up and in the bag.]

This is f***ed. F***. Feingold? F***. This is utter bullsh*t. . . . What is wrong with Wisconsin? I used to defend Wisconsin by saying, "well, at least they can elect someone like Feingold." Looks like I'm going to have to start lumping Wisconsin in with Oklahoma. G*DD*MNIT.

["I'm just an Okie from . . . Milwaukee . . ."]

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Pitt Recants Democrat Victory Prediction

If you want WILLIAM RIVERS PITT to recant a prediction, you only have to wait for much less than 24 business hours to expire. In this case, I am surprised that it took a whole month for the Pied Piper to recant his PREDICTION that the Democrats would retain control of both the House and Senate. Back then he exhibited snappy confidence in his prediction...and now it is gloom and doom as you can see in his TruthOut STORY, "The Ultimate Political No-Brainer." Yes, it turns out that Pitt was too embarrassed to post his prediction retraction in DUmmieland so we have to DUFU the Truthies today. Perhaps Pitt feared that the DUmmies would hold him to his promise to "Bookmark this thread. You can shove it up my ass if I'm wrong." Sorry, Pitt, but we will still demand that you butter your butt up with KY jelly since later retractions do not make the original promise null and void. So let us now watch the Pitt post his election prediction retraction in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that Ben Burch has already volunteered for the shoving ceremony, is in the [brackets]. ...But first, we now serenade Pitt with "Self-Recanted Evening" written by our own Charles Henrickson to the tune of "Some Enchanted Evening":

Self-recanted evening,
When you see the flip-flops,
You may see where Pitt stops
Across the DUmmieland.
And somehow you know,
You know even then,
That sometime you'll see him
Recant once again.

Self-aggrandized weaving,
Bloviating windbag,
Going where the wind blows,
Not knowing where to stand.
He'll write to the left--
That's left to go right--
Will's so busy dancing,
He can't sleep at night.

Who can explain Pitt?
Who can tell you why?
Will gives two versions,
Neither one can fly.

Some fantastic FReeping!
Someone may be laughing,
You may hear the laughing
Among the DUFU fans.
And night after night,
When we go to bed,
That sound is our laughter--
Will Pitt's in our thread!

Once we have DUFUed
Will Pitt's swing and miss,
Then he'll discover
He can't recant this!

The Ultimate Political No-Brainer...

[ that Pitt's predictions ALWAYS go awry.]

I am beginning to strongly suspect the Democrats in Congress would vastly prefer to lose their majority status come November, rather than continue to carry the apparently onerous burden of being in charge. The number of alternate explanations for their behavior of late is becoming sparse. Sure, yeah, there are plenty of people who will tell you there isn't a dime's worth of difference between Democrats and Republicans, especially on Capitol Hill. Both parties are beholden, for the most part, to the same corporate paymasters, and so Democrats acting like Republicans is no big surprise.

[So much for this Pitt pearl of just a month ago: "We will keep the House. We will keep the Senate. Obama will be re-elected in 2012."]

But the thing is, the Democrats aren't acting like Republicans. Republicans, for all their myriad flaws and faults, always play to win. They go for the throat every time, are not shy about saying or doing whatever is required to win the day, and have a knack for turning a sound bite into a stiletto and jamming it under the fifth rib of whatever opponent happens to present themselves. When the GOP held majority control for the first six years of the George W. Bush administration - minus that little interregnum that came about when Jeffords woke up on the left side of the bed - they absolutely bulldozed the Democratic minority just about every single time they wanted something passed. You remember, right? There were little pieces of Democrat all over the place after virtually every vote. They were relentless.

[It's no use Pitt. You can't squirm out of your thread shoving pledge. Ben Burch is already preparing the KY jelly in preparation for the infamous butt buttering.]

Of course, the GOP eventually blew it by 2006, thanks to an avalanche of scandals and the final national realization that a dunderheaded war freak was sitting in the White House. The fact that they lost their majority control, however, didn't change the way they operated. Quite the contrary, as we have seen. They vote en masse even against legislation they approve of if it means beating the Democrats. They roll boulders into the road to thwart everything, and do so with neither shame nor remorse. I disagree with virtually every aspect of Republican philosophy, and my disagreements have gone even deeper since the GOP became the Far-Right-Teabagger-Birther-Taliban-Christian-Nutbag Party, but I will say this: if the Democrats had acted more like Republicans when they were in the minority, there would almost certainly be a lot less dead people in Iraq and Afghanistan, and this country would be a lot less broke.

[Ben Burch loves the smell of buttered butt in the morning.]

But they didn't do that, of course, and since gaining the majority in Congress, the Democrats have been as limp and useless as a dead jellyfish, and never more so since Obama took office. The last two years have been agonizing to watch on any number of levels, mostly because these people can't seem to get out of their own way. They're not acting like Republicans, except when they vote for legislation that serves their dual paymasters, of course, but that's not what I mean. They don't play to win, ever. They don't seem to know how to do it. If you listen closely, you can hear Tip O'Neill spinning wildly in his grave; under no circumstances would that grand old Speaker have tolerated the kind of dishwater spinelessness evinced by this current crop of Democrats.

[Too bad you didn't think of all this a month ago when you posted your Democrat victory prediction thread. Now you have to prepare for it to be shoved you-know-where.]

I really do think they want to get beaten in November, so they can return to the safe, responsibility-free environs of the minority. There are very few other explanations, especially now that they have right in front of them the biggest no-brainer tactical move in the history of the universe: repealing the Bush-era tax breaks for the wealthiest Americans. The issue is a big fat meatball floating right over the plate, and it seems all too evident that these nimrod Democrats are just going to watch it as it sails by.

[Ben Burch has graciously decided to give you a choice: KY Jelly or Vaseline.]

The numbers on this issue are staggering, and Congressional Democrats have had it explained to them in Technicolor by one of the heaviest pollsters in the game. Stanley Greenberg, of the polling firm Greenberg Quinlan Rosner, was invited to speak to members of the Democratic caucus several days ago, and he laid it out as plain as could be. According to his numbers, only 38 percent of Americans favor keeping the Bush tax cuts for rich people, and if the Democrats vigorously embrace repealing them, they stand to make tremendous gains nationally against the GOP in what looks to be a rough midterm season. After Greenberg was finished, Speaker Pelosi followed up with a plea for the party to dive into this potential boon headfirst.

[More importantly, what does that great pundit and Fitzmas co-conspirator, Jason Leopold, think about this?]

First of all, it blows my whole mind to think these people actually needed to have such a simple concept explained to them by an expert with bar graphs and pie charts. Beyond that, however, is the staggering fact that, after having the data spoon-fed to them, they still don't seem to have a stomach for the fight. It would be one thing if they just agreed with the GOP and wanted to keep those tax cuts in place. It would be sickening, but it would make sense. There are some Democrats who do agree, but you'd think a desire to win elections and maintain majority control would trump that, especially given how bleak the prospects are for November.

[It blows my whole mind that you think you can pull off a complete 180 on your election prediction and think we wouldn't notice.]

Junking the Bush rich-folks tax breaks would save hundreds of billions of dollars over the next ten years, which sounds like pretty spiffy fiscal responsibility given our current economic situation. It would maintain tax relief for the middle class, which desperately needs the help. It would be a fork in the eye of the same GOP brigands who passed the damned things in the first place. And it would show the American people that Democrats actually stand for, well, something.

[Keep in mind this is the same Pitt who has openly admitted that he has no idea how the economy works and now he is suddenly a tax breaks expert.]

The fact that they actually have to sit down and think this one over tells me more than anything else that Congressional Democrats are either trying to lose, or don't have the stomach to fight for something that will help millions of people, because the GOP might be mean to them.

[Sorry, you can't weasel out of your butt buttering, Pitt.]

I really do think they want to lose. If they fail to embrace this issue with both arms, that's exactly what will happen.

[And now that Pitt has completely retracted himself AS USUAL, let us now hear from his fellow Truthies...]

America is on the verge of becoming a full-blown fascist totalitarian state. I fear nothing short of revolution can stop it.

[So much for all that "Hope and Change" celebration of just a couple of years ago.]

Its the nice guys versus the school yard bullies.

[Speaking of school yards...perhaps I better leave that up to the Temporary Sockpuppet.]

The President was given a HUGE mandate for CHANGE in 2008. How has that hand been played?

[Do I note a heretical deviation from absolute belief in the perfection of the Obamassiah?]

I hated Bush but I hate what Obama has done even more.

[You can post that sentiment in TruthOut but in DUmmieland that statement is grounds for instant tombstoning.]

You are an insane idiot and a liar.

[A rare moment of truth in TruthOut.]

Friday, September 17, 2010

"Ooooh...This Is Getting Good...Moooselini Slams Rove..."

Sarah Palin has succeeded in doing something we here at DUmmie FUnnies never thought we would see: She has made the DUmmies side with KKKarl Rove! Yes, Mooselini has dislodged the Great and Powerful Rove as the ultimate bête noire in the mind of the DUmmies. Palin Madness Syndrome (PMS) is the psychosis DU jour in DUmmieland.

Of course, what has brought all this to the surface is the success of Palin-backed Tea Party candidates over their RINO-ish primary opponents, the latest example being Christine O'Donnell's victory in Delaware. Tokyo Rove then dissed O'Donnell as unelectable, Palin fired back, and the DUmmies are sitting back enjoying the show, thinking this augurs well for November.

Well . . . Freudenschade, baby! "Freudenschade" (sic) is the premature elation of the DUmmies, when they pop the cork on the champagne bottles too soon. What the DUmmies are discounting is the enormous voter dissatisfaction with Obama and the Democrats, not to mention their OWN internal conflicts (replace "Rove" with "Rahm") and their own questionable candidates (Alvin Greene, anyone?).

So here we go! The
THREAD is called "Ooooh...This Is Getting Good...Moooselini Slams Rove...." The DUmmie comments are in Lipstick-on-a-Donkey Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, reminding all Democrats to get out there and VOTE on November 3, is in the [brackets]:

Ooooh...This Is Getting Good...Moooselini Slams Rove...

[FREUDENSCHADE, BABY! Yes, THIS will make the difference in November!]

Mama Grifter isn't taking kindly to the "Architect"'s comment about her new best friend. . . .

[The Rove Displeasures with New Christine.]

Rove bashed O'Donnell -- and her chances of being elected -- and insisted that she's said a lot of "nutty things." . . . Palin replied: "Well, bless his heart. We love our friends, they're in the machine, the expert politicos. But my message to those who say that the GOP nominee is not electable, or that they're not even going to try, well I say, 'buck up!'"

[Now let's hear from the masters of saying nutty things, the DUmmies . . .]

Karl Rove: Not wackjob conservative enough for today's GOP anymore. Never imagined that.

[Rove OUT, Palin IN! Mooselini and the teabaggers have replaced Chimpy, Cheney, and KKKarl, who are so 2006.]

I never thought that I would see a day when Karl Rove is considered on the side of the sane in the puke party but here we are.

[Watch it, it could be a trick! You never know with the Rove. . . .]

Lordy... so now I'm forced to cheer on Karl Rove? This is INSANITY!

[Right up your alley then!]

We're watching the implosion of their party. This one is far funnier than the one happening in our own party.

[QUIET, SSSHHH!!! You're not supposed to mention the problems in the D party, which are ten times greater!]

did she mean 'f*** off'?

[DUmmie projection: She said, "Buck up," but the DUmmies immediately jump to their own native language.]

KKKarl's real republican party problem... If and when these yahoos show up in the halls of congress, are they going to be nice little boys and girls that sit politely while the Orange Man and the Mitch the Turtle tell them exactly what to do? F*** no. These idiots are ideological terrorists. Nobody's gonna tread on these zealots. They won't cut deals, they won't follow orders, and they will turn congress into a tea bagger whoop de doo complete with angry illiterate signs and fire arms.

[One can hope.]

This could be a replay of the "Gingrich Revolution" on crack. While many are giving the Gnewster credit for the "Class of '94"...few mention it was these same people who threw him under the bus a couple years later (not that the slimy philandering hypocrite didn't deserve it).

[Fortunately, there are no slimy philanderers among the Democrats. . . . Wait, slimy philandering is a PLUS for Democrat voters!]

Suddenly the "professional right" is looking pretty amateurish. So THIS is their A game?

[Two words: Alvin Greene.]

Oh boy! Let's watch The Whore of Babble-on poke the angry tiger with a sharp stick! . . . Lady BlahBlah. . . . the Moosiah. . . . Grifterella.

[Palin Madness Syndrome can be measured by the number of sobriquets in the barbecue.]

Uhmmm. Sarah Palin versus Karl Rove. Sarah should stay out of planes.


That woman isn't Southern!! I evoke my God-given Southern rights to bar her from using the phrase, "Bless his heart." She shall be fined to six years of cooking 20-minute grits. . . .

[Mama Gritsy?]

This is all political theater - they'll be completely united by Election Day. The worm already started turning today!

[No, no, no! Don't spoil our Freudenschade!]

In the end...they all will vote republiCON.

[I can see November from my house! Hee! Hee!]

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Maynard G. Krebs DUmmies Hate ...WORK!

WORK! Maynard G. Krebs couldn't hear the word without yelling it out in shock. That same attitude is prevalent in DUmmieland. More specifically they want EXACTLY the type of work they want for big bucks. Ironically, some DUmmies are talking about the great jobs they used to have during the EVIL Bush Regime compared to the crummy (or no) jobs currently available under the Bamster as you can see in this THREAD, "I'm wondering if it is really worth it to go back to work..." So let us now watch the DUmmie aversion to WORK in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, chronicling their adventures in FUnemployment, is in the [brackets]:

I'm wondering if it is really worth it to go back to work...


I've been out of work for two years, and while it has been stressful at times, it has also been a time of blissful relaxation.


Now I've gone back to a full-time job and I'm absolutely miserable.


This job - dealing with subject matter that I absolutely hate - pays only $11.58 per hour. At my last full - time job, I made over double that.

[Hey, you get free rent and pizza from mommy so you have plenty left over to buy antique lava lamps at yard sales.]

The worst part of it is that have no time for anything else - now that I work full time, I find I'm working ALL the time - keeping my house clean, washing clothes, and cooking meals.

[You had a personal servant before?]

f course, I'm single - I decided long ago that marriage and having children in this economy would be way too stressful / expensive.

[It's the Obama economy.]

Is it really worth it to work full time?


Seems like it takes all the joy out of life.

[Enjoy your Recovery Summer.]

How did we get in this state of mind where people feel obligated to find a job and work?

[It's called free enterprise or would you prefer the Bolshevik alternative? And now to the other lazy DUmmies...]

I will not work.


Not till the issue I have is corrected, I am due from years ago.

[Still waiting for that brain implant?]

I did check out work scene a few years ago, to see if things had changed, they hadn't

[Sorry. Work still involves...WORK!]

So somebody is going to correct my issues.

[Because you are just too lazy to correct your own unemployment issues.]

And some think my post here could be work, but they cover such a wide set of views, they don't point to any single thought, but that thoughts exist.

So when commenting on work, it would be insane when already due, to go and work for something. That makes no sense.

[As little sense as your thoughts, DUmmie RandomThoughts.]

And I don't think correlation is causation, and know I will be given money for beer and travel and much enjoyment to compensate for wrong smear done to me years ago.

[We done him wrong.]

So I also don't worry about correlations, since I know they can be used to try and train and from that are not real.

[You also obviously don't worry about logical thought patterns.]

The debt due to me is real, and will be paid.

[Yes, we all owe you, YOU DUmmie RandomThoughts.]

Also society will get more just, and more compassionate. But things have always been that way.

[May we just call you DUmmie NoThoughts?]

I'm curious if the expiration of your unemployment compelled you to work. And what you would have chosen to do should unemployment be available in perpetuity.

[Sit on his butt in perpetuity. That is what happens in the Scandinavian countries.]

You're cleaning, washing and cooking for one?

[Heavy WORKload there.]

Just a few years ago, it seemed like everyone had at least a little spare time to exercise, to go on vacations, to do gardening, etc. Not to mention having the spare MONEY to do all those things.

[Just a few years ago during the EVIL Bush Regime.]

For just about everyone, it's get up, go to work, do essential chores, go to bed. Day after day...just to keep the lights on and some basic food on the table.

[People PAY for food? At this very moment I have a freezer filled with HUNDREDS of FREE coupon bought chicken/buffalo wings.

Maybe it's time to demand better wages

[Go on strike and achieve your goal. No WORK!]

Then find someone who will pay your bills.

[Ben Burch is looking for a Sugar Daddy.]

The whole idea of a career, of having to find a job (nowadays, any job), and keep it whether you like it or not, just in order to survive – the way we do now – is a relatively new development in human history. It was not such a struggle and didn’t often force us to do things that were against our nature just to survive.

[Yeah, those feudal serfs from way back when sure had it made.]

Monday, September 06, 2010

McDonald's drops dollar menu, bobbolink goes bonkers!

I'm lovin' it! A McDonald's in San Francisco drops it dollar menu, and the DUmmies get more stirred up than a Shamrock Shake! This particular McDonald's has been plagued by bums the homeless hanging around all day, and the bums homeless see this move as a not-so-subtle hint to get lost. And the DUmmies, who at least have their mother's basement to live in and Domino's to deliver, are somehwat divided on who's in the right on this question.

But there is one DUmmie, of course, who will automatically side with the bums homeless, and that is none other than DUmmieland's Homelesscoming Queen, DUmmie bobbolink, AKA Bobo the Hobo. Bobo is perhaps most famous as the gal who got Wee Wille Pitt banned for three months, but her main calling in life is to post to DUmmieland and play the Victim Card big-time. "You're all against us! Always picking on us homeless! We're poor, we're homeless--even though I find a way to have an internet connection and post on DU 24/7--we're victims! Now DU something about it!"

Well, this
THREAD, "Haight-Ashbury homeless think McDonalds dropped 'dollar menu' to get rid of them," naturally gives bobbolink the occasion to go absolutely BONKERS with her victim spiel!

So let us now head for the Bolshevik Red Arches, where the DUmmies debate who deserves a break today, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who every so often gets a hankering for a burger at McDonald's and then regrets it a few hours later, is sandwiched in the [brackets]:

Haight-Ashbury homeless think McDonalds dropped 'dollar menu' to get rid of them

[It's a Haight crime!]

The McDonald's at the corner of Haight and Stanyan streets eliminated its Dollar Menu about a month ago, making the items on it too expensive for the people who spend the better part of their day on the sidewalk in front.

[If sitting on a sidewalk in front of a McDonald's is the "better" part of their day, what's the worst??]

"Yeah man, it ... sucks," he said Thursday while sitting foodless on the McDonald's patio with a half dozen hungry friends. "I eat less. I have to get more money. If I don't have a dollar and I want food, I just end up going to a trash can."

[Not much difference, is there? . . . Now to the DUmmies . . .]

Seems the homeless made their own misfortune here. . . . they need to understand that if they then hang around all day, they are going to cost the owner customers who don't want to wade through a homeless camp to grab a meal.

[Bigot! Homelessophobe!]

Where do you suggest they go. . . ?

[Oh, come on! I'm sure there are MANY compassionate, big-hearted San Franciscans who would welcome these less fortunate victims of Rethuglicanism into their homes . . .]

The SF Chronicle is on a propaganda campaign in order to support Newsom's no sit/lie ordinance.

[SF Chronicle, YOU lie!]

the suits at the Chronicle are @ssholes. . . .

[That's a dangerous thing to be in San Francisco.]

Golden Gate Park is right there. . . .

[Golden Arches Park is more convenient.]

So where do people think it's okay for the homeless people to go?

[Here's a novel thought: To work?]

Research has shown that Americans tend to have automatic, subconscious feelings of disgust towards the homeless.

[I have feelings of indigestion towards the hamburgers.]

I have yet to see any situation where people AREN'T offended by having homeless people around. That is just the nature of people's prejudice against any visible signs of homelessness.

[You know, isn't EVERYONE at a McDonald's at least temporarily "homeless"? Otherwise, they'd be at home.]

The McDonalds owner has every right to adjust prices as she sees fit. She is under zero obligation to make less money so that she can make it easier for vagrants to hang around.


I think you joined the wrong website. Heartless @ssholes post at the Free Republic.

[Come join us at Free Republic, the HOME of heartless @ssholes!]

It is prejudice, pure and simple.

[DUmmie bobbolink is here! Man your battle stations!]

I can't even believe we are having to argue this on a "liberal" forum!

[Oh, sure you can, Bobo! You have stated many times that DUmmieland is full of heartless, hypocrite bullies!]

What's not "OK" is that people like you aren't willing to get to the root of the problem, and solve it.

[It's YOUR fault, Mr. & Mrs. DUmmie, that there is poverty and homelessness in America! So FIX it, pronto!]



Why don't you just get honest, and campaign to have us all removed?

[Bobo the Hobo is on the WARPATH!!]

What gets me is people, including "liberals", who consider them selves sooooo much smarter, yet couldn't understand . . . they are being played. . . .

[Why do you think we call them "DUmmies"?]

The problem now is to overturn that demonization. But, that doesn't rank up there with all the other causes, does it? It's up to those deemed the poster kids to change it around.

[Bobo takes a sideways swipe at Pitt, the leading poster child of DUmmieland.]

Reborn Calivinists = "Positive Thinkers" . . . Yup, if you think correctly and speak correctly, and work hard to eliminate any "negative" thoughts, you will "succeed". . . . "We love you Calvin, oh yes we do, we love you Calvin, and we'll be true. When you're not with us, we're blue. Oh Calvin, we love you!"

[Calvin and Hobos.]

Maybe that is my problem... I am a cradle Lutheran, and I don't understand the hard-hearted judgmentalism.

[Maybe you need to go back to your cradle, bobbolink, and learn to understand Lutheranism a little better.]

There is a homeless man I have befriended who sleeps behind the dumpster at the local Mexican market. . . . I buy him ice cream or coffee and a doughnut sometimes, and make a point of bringing him home-cooked food whenever I can.

[Yeah, sure you do, DUmmie Raksha. This sounds like one of those fabricated "What a noble progressive am I!" stories.]

Well I already don't give McD's any money so I'm already boy/girlcotting them.

[Boy/girlcotting. . . . It's hard to tell in San Francisco, isn't it?]

I guess everywhere has gotten on the Greed Train.

[And Bobo the Hobo has been tied down on the tracks by Snidely Whiplash.]

When I traveled in Spain, there were public places where the poor could get soap, shampoo, and a towel and could take a shower.

[The rain in Spain goes mainly down the drain.]

USA is #1 in Cruelty!


expect war to break out.

[Bobo predicts WAR in San Franciscco! The Homeless vs. the Homed, with the Homos who-knows-where!]

All you have to do is to pay attention to th "priority lists" posted here at DU, and it will become quickly obvious that poverty is NOT on most peoples' agenda.

[And don't try to put "getting a job" on Bobo's "priority list"!]

Is that how you want your mother to have to live out her life? In a dorm????

[Someone had said, "Hell, I'd be happy to live in my old college dorm." So this is Bobo's standard comeback, the guilt-trippy non-sequitur, "Is that how'd you want your mother to live?" Typical bobbolink.]

Sigh... It is just the sheltered simpleton responses around here that make me shake my head... If you think the elimination of the dollar menu is cruel I would be loathe to imagine your reaction to the actual atrocities around the world happening right now....

[DUmmie Cid_B, you get a Kewpie Doll with your Happy Meal today!]

Listen, dude. . . . You wanna talk actual atrocities.... If I had my way, dude, every last woman in the world would be armed so the playing field would be entirely leveled. These male monsters understand nothing but violence. . . . I hope Mother Nature throws this planet off its axis and the pathetic excuses for human male flesh are destroyed forever.

[Listen DUde, I think DUmmie femrap has a small chip on her shoulder--about the size of Greenland--against men!]

I'm sure the owner will have her Karma come back to haunt her. She just might find that her profits go down.

[She deserves to go broke today.]

the homeless aren't homogeneous. . . .

[In San Francisco they are!]

These people are f***ing d**chebags okay. . . . Sitting and laying in cuddle puddles of as many as 20 or more. . . . They are the ones that the sit/lie ordinance is aimed at cuz they are f***ing pieces of sh*t. Just a bunch of punks, who stink and cause trouble.

[Sounds like a DUmmie meet-up!]

And YOU need to "understand" that human beings are PHYSICAL. We ALL have to be somewhere. When YOU don't care enough to fight for housing for everyone, and then want those left homeless because of YOUR lack of pushing for housing, to be banned from BEING anywhere, then YOU are, in effect, telling homeless people to just go die. Yes, it is damned time all you conservatives look at the results of your attitudes. You are leaving no options except for HUMAN BEINGS to die. Beat me up for telling you the truth. I no longer care.

[DUmmie bobbolink has PERFECTED the Victim Card!]

We see the lack of understanding and empathy and concern. WE. GET. IT. You have made your point loud and clear... it is the money that is important. WE. GET. IT.

[Bobo, you see this Quarter Pounder with Cheese? YOU. DON'T. GET. IT.]