Friday, January 29, 2010

The Wizard of Ob and the DUmmie Brainwash Cycle

Pay no attention to that man behind the teleprompter.

On the heels of the SOTU speech by the Wizard of Ob, I am noticing a certain pattern among the DUmmies. It is the brainwash cycle.

The first step in the brainwash cycle is Delusion. The Wizard of Ob reads a speech from his teleprompter and the previously disillusioned DUmmies are once again inspired to the extent they think the Wizard has magically made all political problems disappear. You will hear such expressions from the DUmmies that the Wizard is like a god or that "he parked it" with his speech. This Delusion mode of the brainwash cycle is inevitably followed by the Depression cycle which sets in when the DUmmies discover that the Wizard of Ob has NOT made the problems go away. In fact the problems are even worse than before. The final stage of the brainwash cycle is Disgust. At that stage much anger is displayed against the once mighty Wizard of Ob and wonderment at how they were ever fooled by him. However, all the Wizard of Ob has to do at this point is read a nice speech from his teleprompter and the brainwash cycle resets back to the beginning at Delusion.

This is what happened most recently with the State of the Union Speech. DUmmies recycled themselves back to Delusion from the Disgust they previous experienced over the fact that the Wizard of Ob has done basically squat. No ObamaCare. No jobs created. No end of the Recession. And, worst of all, no end to the EVIL Republicans. In fact, we are now experiencing a Conservative resurgence as evidenced by the recent senate election in the Bay State. It was the latter that brought the DUmmies to their latest Disgust stage of the brainwash cylcle only to be reset by the SOTU teleprompter speech back to the initial Delusion stage as we saw in the previous DUFU EDITION.

So where are we now in the DUmmie brainwash cycle? As you can see in this DUmmie THREAD, "What Obama Did Politically with the SOTU," the DUmmies are still in the Delusion stage but there are signs that cycle will soon some to the end as it enters the Depression stage of the brainwash cycle. See, the DUmmies have discovered a new word called "Reconciliation" which they think that the mighty Wizard of Ob can wave to make all political problems go away. Wave the Reconciliation wand and the Wizard of Ob can make ObamaCare magically appear. Wave the Reconciliation wand and, poof, Cap and Trade will become a reality. Best of all, they think that the magic Reconciliation wand will make the Wizard of Ob, hiding behind his telemprompter, all powerful once again. So let us now watch the DUmmies still in the Delusion stage (with disturbing signs of Depression creeping in) worship the mighty Wizard of Ob in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, whose dog Toto gives us a peek behind the teleprompter, is in the [barackets]:

What Obama Did Politically with the SOTU

[Return the disgusted DUmmies back to the Delusion stage of the brainwash cycle.]

Obama gave the Democrats in the Senate the green light to use Reconciliation, not just for HCR, but for *everything*. When he called out that the House has done it's job last year, but the Senate failed, he clearly laid blame on the Senate. Furthermore, he called out that everything that goes through the gov't should not need a Super Majority. Which puts the blame on the current Senate rules. He couldn't be any more clear when he said: "We have a big majority, don't run for the hills". And now that the Repubs have 41 seats in the Senate, he gave them a huge warning. Either cross the line or lose your ability to have a say. Obama is indeed about to play hardball. I suspect that if the Senate cannot get the changes the House requires to pass the HCR Bill, that Obama will request that the Senate use Reconciliation. And it won't end with HCR. He basically has given the Repubs one last chance for bipartisanship. And he's turned the HCR issue into *their* Waterloo.

[Oooh! The magic Reconciliation wand. It can do everything including frying me up a plate of eggs! The mighty Ob has spoken!]

Repubs are actually in a worse spot politically with 41 seats. Their base now believes they have the power to stop anything and that they will. But it's clear Obama isn't going to let them. And if they try, Reconciliation will be used for the rest of the year. If they cross the line, their base will flip out. Obama has turned their win on its head.

[Isn't wuuuunderful that the Republicans won the "Kennedy seat" in Massachusetts. It has activated the magic Reconciliation wand. Wave it, oh mighty Wizard of Ob!]

It's going to be a very interesting over the next 2-3 weeks.

[It sure will be because that is the time frame when the DUmmies go through the entire brainwash cycle once again from their current Delusion to Depression and, finally, to Disgust. Of course, at the latter point the Wizard of Ob will need to hide behind his teleprompter in order to recycle the whole brainwash process back to Delusion once again.]

I hope you're right

[Uh-oh. The first signs of doubt in the power of the Wizard of Ob. The Delusion cycle will soon be ending and followed by the Depression stage.]

reconciliation cannot be used for "everything". let's get real

[Ugly reality. The first sign of the Depression cycle on the horizon.]

Pres. Obama is a patient man, but it appears he is finished with that. Yes, the next couple of weeks will be interesting.

[Do not anger that man behind the teleprompter. The mighty Wizard of Ob has spoken. Oh, and the next couple of weeks WILL be interesting as we watch the DUmmies enter the Depression phase of the brainwash cycle.]

Let's just hope he's finished with dat!

[You dare doubt the Mighty Ob?]

True but there is a disconnect between what Obama talks about and what the Democratic leadership in the House and Senate will do.

[No need to worry. The Wizard of Ob only needs to wave his magic Reconciliation wand and all will be right in DUmmieland again.]

Make it so, Mr. President.

[Hear my plea, oh mighty Wizard of Ob. Pretty please!]

Our President clearly laid down the gauntlet when he noted that there are now 41 GOP Senators, and thus the GOP will now "have to govern." I heard that as a smack down.

[Behold the power of the Wizard of Ob and his mighty fleet of teleprompters!]

It Took Pressure Off Democrats... The 60 vote charade was a curse as it truly wasn't a unified 60.

[Beware the wrath of the Mighty Ob who has finally cast off the 60 vote charade that was holding him back. Unleash that magic Reconciliation Wand! We beseech you oh divine Ob!]

I will believe it when I see it. remember once upon a time there was also something mentioned about "keeping our powder dry"? It got so dry it blew away.

[The Depression phase of the DUmmie brainwash cycle will commence in 3...2...1...]

Don't hold your breath... A scolding or finger wagging from Obama is about all anyone can expect, no matter what they do- and by now, everybody knows it.

[A DUmmie dares to reveal that man behind the teleprompter.]

I've heard that Republicans are ready for Reconcilliation.. That they have thousands of line-by-line amendments that they will go through if Dems use reconcilliaition.

[Gasp! You mean a mere wave of the Reconciliation wand won't magically wipe our problems away?]

Reconciliation can only be used for purely spending bills.

[Aiiiieee!!! Stop with the reality check! I'mmm MELLLTINNNGGGG!!!]

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

SOTU: DUmmies Go Into Self-Delusional Overdrive

Barack Obama delivered a SOTU chock full of empty rhetoric. What would have counted would have been a STRONG commitment to continue to push ObamaCare. It wasn't there. However, the DUmmies have to maintain their faith in The One which will burn out in a few days when ugly reality sets in. In the meantime, however, they are in an extreme state of self-delusional overdrive as you can see in this THREAD, "You just have to say thank God this man is the president." So let us now join the DUmmies engaging in extreme self-delusional in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting what goes up soon comes crashing down hard in DUmmieland, is in the [barackets]:

You just have to say thank God this man is the president

[I...I feel a tingle running up my leg!]

After 8 years of being ashamed to be an American, it is good to have a president that America can be proud of once again.

[I LOVE my Barack even though he has done squat. He couldn't even pass ObamaCare with vast majorities in the House and Senate. Bless you Barack!!!]

This President is not a man, he is God himself If you don't see that then you are blind.

[I BEEEEELIEVE in Idle Worship!!! My Idle Barack has accomplished nothing! Bless him for that!!!]

He's the last adult standing

[I crawl before the Mighty Barack!!!]

thank You, God! & HALLELUJAH!

[May I polish his halo now?]

Thank God for President Barack Obama!!!

[I accept Barack as my do-nothing savior!!!]

Wow...What a GREAT Speech. His BEST EVER!!!

[Like the Rev. Wright speech? ]

He just kept nailing it. I'm amazed at how he packed in so much good stuff into one speech.

[Chock full of great empty rhetoric!]

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

DUmmies hot over Frozone-Obama's spending freeze!

So the rumor is, in his State of the Useless address Wednesday night, Dear Reader will call for a three-year freeze in discretionary spending. Now if Hal the Teleprompter doesn't misbehave, and that indeed turns out to be the case, does that mean Conman O'Bama has suddenly made a right turn? No, of course not. For several reasons: 1) It's an election year, and this is political posturing; 2) The Dems have already jacked up spending so much that to freeze it is simply to keep it at astronomical levels; and 3) The discretionary spending to be frozen represents only a small portion of the federal budget. But the Dems have got to SOUND conservative in order to win elections, especially after the recent rebuffs in New Jersey, Virginia, and Massachusetts.

But say "spending freeze" around the socialist-utopian DUmmies, and they will go RED HOT with rage! DUmmieland is ON FIRE right now with anger at Barack Frozone-Obama and his cold-as-ice spending freeze! Betrayal heaped upon betrayal! Witness this
THREAD, "Obama wants to freeze discretionary spending for 3 years."

But before we get to the DUmmies, let's sing!

Tune: "Louise"

Budget full! There's a budget full
Of spending to the skies
Wool to pull! We've got wool to pull
Down over voters' eyes . . .

Keep the spending sprees
And we'll call it a "freeze"
Time to appease
So let's call it a "freeze"
We still can spend
Like there's no end
Of billions like these

But our little "freeze"--
There are some it won't please
They're ill at ease
They've got soiled dungarees
Their hue and cry
Tells me that I
Have caught a disease

Just to hear and quote them
Is something that annoys
But it's clear they'll vote Dem
Let them make their noise

Spending still will stay
At a hundred degrees
But we can say
That a cold winter breeze
Started to blow
Thank you, BO
You've put in a freeze

So put on your flameproof underwear as we feel the rage of the DUmmies, in Red-Hot Red, while the cool commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, waiting for the day when the government actually CUTS spending and hell freezes over, is in the [Barackets]:

Obama wants to freeze discretionary spending for 3 years

[Translation of this CNN headline: Obama wants to keep spending like crazy but sound conservative to win in November.]

The officials would not reveal the details of which domestic programs would be cut, as they prepare to face major pushback from liberals in the president's own party. . . .

[Batten down the hatches! Here it comes!]

If we wanted spending freezes we would have voted for McCain.

[Barack McSame.]

I thought Obama was going to turn left.

[This is his "Left Behind" series, and you're it.]

not a dime's worth of dif between Obama and Mcain, other than Obama has a much better VP in Biden


I always say, when your base is already pissed the best course to take is to screw them over even worse.

[Bend over!]

Bush's third term

[Chimpy McBama.]

Um, you do realize that Obama's budget has the largest deficit in history, don't you?

[At least he's doing SOMETHING right!]

Why alleged "security" spending is sancrosanct is beyond me, though.

[Maybe because--oh, I don't know--national security is the main reason we HAVE a federal government? Just a thought.]

Ugh. Whatever.

[How. Me Tonto.]

How much do I not like this person?

[Let me count the ways.]

Military gets whatever they want, everyone else gets the middle finger. F*** THE MILITARY!!

[Now may I question your patriotism?]

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, ad infinitum.....

[Stuck on stupid.]

I got it! He's not playing chess. He's playing golf. Lowest score on election night wins.

[Obama is Tiger Woods, and the DUmmies are Elin Nordegren with a golf club in her hands.]

$83 billion a year is a pittance compared to the size of the budget.

[It's just a drop in the budget.]

Any suggestions for a Democratic, genuinely progressive candidate to oppose Obama and Palin in 2012?

[See? Palin IS going to be his VP!]

It's almost like a "Democratic" budget. Except it's the exact opposite.

[Close but no bizarre.]

Who is giving him this lousy advice. . . ?

[His new economic adviser . . . oh, what was his name again? . . . that's right! Kurt Grove.]

This person needs to be identified and appointed ambassador to East Bumf***istan no later than last week.

[Sorry, there is a spending freeze on trips to East Bumf***istan.]

the DNC called wanting $$$ to "further his agenda"

[Mr. Freeze is only $10 away from furthering his agenda.]

Obama needs to stop buttering up the asses of a bunch of people that could care less about him.

[benburch wants Obama to spread the butter around.]

Not one working class American should suffer because of a spending freeze --- especially if the Pentagon remains a sacred cow.

[If you cross a spending freeze with a sacred cow, would you get a Tastee Freeze?]

Fuuuuuuuuuuuu***ing d*mmit, again. It is like the bullsh*t is accelerating.

[Now up to Mock 2!]

I'm getting sleepy; I think I'll take a long nap on November 2nd. . . .

[Nappy-headed doze.]

Oh yes! Let's freeze spending on education and health care!!

[Freeze at last! Freeze at last! Thank God Almighty, a freeze at last!]

He was the president of the Harvard Law Review. He is not stupid.

[DUmmie EFerrari, aka Doug's ex-wife, sticks up for the Poison Ivy Leaguer.]

Is there any way of getting Obama's attention?

[Bribe Hal the Teleprompter.]



What fresh new horror is this?

[Frozenstein Meets the Wealthman.]

OK, now he's embarrassing himself. I'm torn between anger and pity.

[Go with anger. It's the DUmmies' métier.]

This is not a bad thing; Freezing spending programs after a 2010 8% increase and the rearranging of priorities. . . . this announcement will make it not only non controversial, but a positive thing. . . . it still is an 8% increase over 2009!

[DUmmie FrenchieCat realizes the "freeze" is really no big deal: The Dems can still spend like crazy, while sounding conservative. Well, not quite a Kewpie Doll, FrenchieCat, but at least you see through Frozone's phony freeze.]

I will see what the President says during his speech.

[You're actually going to watch? I bet you like root canals too.]

BOOM goes the dynamite!


Good times, good times.


Monday, January 25, 2010

"Is it time to call for class warfare?"

Last week, when the DUmmies had their "Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week," besides the loss of "Teddy's seat" and the demise of "Air America," there was also the Supreme Court's decision that people have free political speech also when they act together, i.e., corporately. Of course, if there is one word that is worse than "Nazi" over in DUmmieland these days, it is the word "corporate." That is the source of all that is wrong in the world, the bane of our existence, those big EEEvil CORPORATISTS!!!

Yes, class warfare is one the reliable standbys of the liberals/socialists--has been from the days of the Wobblies and Eugene V. Debs. Here in this
THREAD, we have a DUmmie advocating just that: "Is it time to call for class warfare?"

So let us now march forward together, arm in arm, into a glorious tomorrow, in Bolshevik Red, while the humble commentary of your capitalist pig guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, planning to skip Hal the Teleprompter's State of the Useless address later this week, is in the [brackets]:

Is it time to call for class warfare?

[Class warfare is now in session!]

Real persons against artificial corporate persons?

[Clue: Corporations are real persons acting corporately. That's why they're called "corporations."]

yes! we'll declare war and.. uh... chant slogans! or something! that'll fix everything!

[I detect a note of sarcasm.]

Can I get a "hey hey ho ho"?

[How about a "Hee! Hee!"?]

I'm in . . .

[. . . sane.]

If there is an organized effort, let me know.

[An "organized effort" against acting corporately. Am I the only one that sees the irony?]

Why get mad at inanimate entities?

[Gotta get mad at SOMEBODY for all my shortcomings and failures!]

Don't be mad at Walmart, be mad at the Walton family.

[Goodnight, John-Boy.]

Don't get mad at the corporations, for everyone of them you destroy the oligarchs will make ten more.

[I'm picturing Mickey Mouse as the sorcerer's apprentice, chopping up the broom, only to have it turn into ten more brooms.]

Thank you very much for your input. I'll give it all the consideration it deserves.

[Which is, none.]

Let me know when your class war against corporations becomes anything more than a fantasy.

[Don't hold your breath.]

Thousands of people around the world are busy organizing reforms with the goal of moving towards revolutionary conflict.

[Workers of the world, unite!]

Unfortunately, with so many lazy nihilists in the US, we'll probably be the last nation to change.

[Vee belief in nossing, Lebowski! NOSSING!!]

If its only a "fantasy" maybe that's because the lazy people waiting to jump on the bandwagon ridicule those trying to build the bandwagon.

[The lazy nihilists jumped onto the kook bandwagon.]

C'est la vie.

[Vie for Vendetta.]

The RATpubliCONs coined a catchy little phrase "Contract with America" and we working stiffs took the bait "Hook Line, and Sinker". . . . In 1992, the Wealthy Elite were so scared of our Working Class Angst, many of them "Refused" to ride to and fro the airport in Limousines. They were actually scared they would "be caught dead" in a limousine. . . .

[The DEmocRATs "Won't" help us. They're "In Bed" with the CorpoRATists. We "Working Class Angsters" need to "Fight Back" against the "Wealthy Elite Banksters" riding fro and to and hither and yon in their "Limos," before "it's too late" and we run out of "quote marks."]

Oh man... I've still got injuries from fighting with Christmas. Gotta ask for a deferment until they heal.

[Yule invoke the Santa Clause, will you?]

Fighting against DU, a corporation, will earn one a tombstone.

[I KNEW it! Skinner is a dirty rotten CORPORATIST! He accepts advertising and everything!! Is there no honor, is there no integrity, ANYWHERE???!!!]

How do you propose to go after the rich? Pitchforks and Torches?

[The Revolution begins TODAY!! Grab your forks and pitchtorches!! Tonight we march on Skin's Island and SHUT DOWN DU!!!! YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!! Everybody, a rousing chorus of "The Internationale"!!]

Friday, January 22, 2010

Air America and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

It's been a rough week for the DUmmies. In a span of three days, Brown wins "Teddy's seat," the Supreme Court strikes a blow for free speech, and Air America announces it is going off the air. The DUmmies are in deep, deep depression! Up the meds! It's been a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week!

Sample the despair and the anger here in this
THREAD, "Air America Ceasing Live Programming This Afternoon." The DUmmie downers are in Radical Radio Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, looking forward to the day when the SCOTUS overturns its unconstitutional Roe v. Wade decision of 37 years ago today, is in the [brackets]:

Air America Ceasing Live Programming This Afternoon

[How would anybody tell the difference?]

Source: Air America

[Source: Err America]

It is with the greatest regret, on behalf of our Board, that we must announce that Air America Media is ceasing its live programming operations as of this afternoon, and that the Company will file soon under Chapter 7 of the Bankruptcy Code to carry out an orderly winding-down of the business.

[Bankrupt it.]

The very difficult economic environment has had a significant impact on Air America's business.

[Bush's fault.]

This past year has seen a "perfect storm" in the media industry generally.

[A perfect ROVIAN storm!]

In this climate. . . .

[Climate change.]

our painstaking search for new investors. . . .

[Blah blah blah. Excuses excuses excuses. Bottom line: Nobody wants to listen to a bunch of boring whiny liberals. Now let's hear from your vast audience of depressed DUmmie listeners . . .]

What a sh*tty week

[The Week When Everything Finally Changed. Hee! Hee!]

I can't take much more.

[Just wait till November!]

Totally. UGH.

[This could be. HUGH.]

Either suck it up, or give up!


You actually expected AA to survive? It's a miracle (or an immense waste of money) it lasted THIS long.

[George $oro$ got tired of immensely wasting his money.]


[Ratings-Impoverished Programming.]

Any other bad news out there? Let's make this the worst week since Nov. 2004.

[This just in: John Kerry is about to enter the Deconcession Chamber.]

Schultz and Hartmanns ratings in major markets pretty much suck. They're in the middle of the pack at the very best. Even in the most progressive cities like New York, DC and Chicago, neither of them gets a fraction of Limbaugh's audience . . .

[True, please continue . . .]

GRieve all you want, but don't resort to self-depeption . . .

[Self-depeption is bad. It takes all the pep out of you.]

Liberal talk is failing badly.

[EPIC Fail! Thank you, keysersoeze (21 posts), for that correct but bitter pill to swallow. For this brief moment of mental clarity, you win a Kewpie Doll--before you get called out as a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Air America is kind of like the ABA of Political Radio and Ed Schultz is Doctor J.

[Air America is kind of like the ABBA of Political Radio and Ron Reagan is the Dancing Queen.]

The "local affiliates" . . . who knows whether their owners might decide "this proves there's no market for progressive radio" and switch formats?

[Now where would they get such a crazy idea??]

my local station . . . AAR's demise would leave them with several large blocks of dead air to fill.

[AAR *was* dead air! A test of the Emergency Broadcast System would get higher ratings.]

THe problem is, most of them will likely drop "progressive" talk, becuase it's just not making it in the market. . . . Conservative talk radio makes a lot of money; progressive talk is doing very badly.

[Man, keysersoeze (21 posts), you are really cruising for a tombstoning!]

There is a lot of money to be made in servicing the needs of the power elites. Speaking truth to power, on the other hand, not so much.

["Speak truth to power"! Drink up!]

So what you're saying is that "power elites" and their spending are what forces people to listen to Limbaugh et al? And their high revenues are a result of their number of stations - but Limbaugh and Hannity also get better audience numbers per station, as in *many times better*, than any liberal host. Please explain how "power elites" control listening habits.

[You, keysersoeze (21 posts), have GOT to be a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Obvious troll here. . . . Enjoy your stay at DU.


Randi Rhodes hasn't been with AAR for years. She had a falling-out with them. . . .

[. . . and a falling-down on the sidewalk.]

Sure that wasnt a falling down? /rimshot

[I'm not kidding: I did NOT see that next DUmmie comment! Even the DUmmies know Randi has a little "problem."]

She's on the Washington DC AA station

[She should be in an AA group!]

Attention, Numbnutses: NOT ALL PROGRESSIVE PROGRAMMING IS AIR AMERICA. . . . Some of you people are stupid enough to be Bush voters.

["How to Win Friends and Influence DUmmies," by keysersoeze (21 posts).]

There is no need to be rude. . . . If you can't be civil to others, maybe you shouldn't be on DU.

[I thought that was a prerequisite!]

the network got no ratings, and even THOSE numbers were preaching to the choir.

[keysersoeze (21 posts): Speaking truth to DUmmies.]

johnny deep pockets could have made a big difference.

[John Kerry has your back . . . in his pockets.]

I cannot believe there isn't some liberal billionaire out that doesn't invest in Progressive Radio.

[I thought billionaires were inherently evil?]

They didn't treat thier talent well and made bad decision like hiring Lionel who has a voice that makes my skin crawl.

[Lionel Itchie.]

I listened to AAR some and found it teeth-grindingly bad.

[Skin crawling, teeth grinding--AAR was a downright health hazard!]

Progressives are terrible radio entertainers. . . .

[Dr. keysersoeze (21 posts) has more bitter medicine to administer. It's amazing he hasn't been banned yet! Please continue . . .]

Look, believe what you want. Weeks like this past week are at least in part due to the fact that progressives are masters at persuading themselves that something that walks, talks and smells like a duck, is a goose.


Thank you Air America. . . . What a shame, I am sad.

[The DUmmies are down in the DUmps. I predict a surge in antidepressant med threads.]

Let's work on this rationally.


Our product wasn't selling. The American people were not buying what we were selling. . . . what can we do about it?

[Take more Zoloft.]

AA's big problem was that they were all - every one of them - awful to listen to. . . . progressives talk radio is usually very condescending and nannyish. . . . They were dull, shrill and yes, boring.

[DUmmie keysersoeze (21 posts), if you are not a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL, you are going in the Kewpie Doll Hall of Fame!]

As another poster said, what a sh*tty week.

[Lexapro (escitalopram oxalate) is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) indicated for the acute and maintenance treatment of Major Depressive Disorder (MDD). . . .]

It's sad, but only for a moment.

[I take my little happy pill, and Calgon, take me away!]

and the hits just keep on coming. . . .

[Heckuva job, Brownie! Hee hee!]

and a comin'.

[There is no joy in Medville--Marsha Coakley has struck out.]

It's maddening isn't it?

[It's medicating isn't it?]

This attitude is not only EXACTLY why Limbaugh kicks progressive talkers' asses, but why we are losing elections; that boundless sense of entitlement and superiority. If we THINK we're smarter/better/cuter than conservatives, it's hubris, and it'll backfire. Just like it did all this week.

[Mikulski, DeLauro, Waxman . . . of COURSE they are cuter than Palin, Bachmann, and Brown! . . . DUmmie keysersoeze (21 posts), you are on a ROLL--and I can't believe you are still here! This thread goes on from here for quite a few posts, but I checked the end, and you are still not banned! Congratulations! You outlived Air America!]

- - - - -

BONUS COVERAGE: Some more posts from this long thread, after the first installment . . .

I don't think it's all dead for us and there are so many shining stars that were born - just by sitting in for the original stars.

[DNC-ing with the Stars.]

Can you all post what the stars say - especially Randi - I am not awake when she is on. . . .

[Neither is she.]

I feel like I am suffocating for all the bad news of the week.

[Take a deep breath . . . and some Effexor.]

Your a freeper. I don't buy the concern troll.

You pegged the bastid!

[keysersoeze (21 posts) is one of the Usual Suspects.]

I was just thinking: sh*t happens in threes: Brown, SCOTUS, and what else? Air America! Sh*t sh*t absolute sh*t.

[The Three Stool-sh*ts.]

I remember the old days. When they first launched, it was breathtaking.

[Suffocating, in fact.]

I am just about ready to chew on my wrists. I really don't now how much more I can take. . . .

[Wrist In Pieces.]

Scott Brown, Citizens United v. FEC, and now THIS. I'm gonna be sadder than a spoiled white suburban middle school girl limping into a theater to watch New Moon.

[Is that you, Scott Ritter?]

So many thoughts circle my mind.

[New experiences need not frighten.]

Sad and awful news. What else can happen this week?

[See if Pitt has made any more rosy predictions. Then bank on the opposite.]

Maybe I'll start my own Pirate Radio.. How would one go about doing that?

[Ask Johnny Depp Pockets.]

Sad and sorry to hear this.

[Thank Gaia for Big Pharma!]

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Pretend Pundit Pied Piper Pitt: "Martha Coakley will win on Tuesday"

There is nothing that William Rivers Pitt loves more than putting on his Pretend Pundit cap and prognosticate as some sort of political insider for the DUmmies. We have seen this many times and Will inevitably ends up with egg on his face. Remember that courtroom somewhere in Ohio where lawyers for John ("I served in Vietnam") Kerry supposedly filed papers that would somehow overturn the 2004 presidential election? That was a Pitt "scoop." Oh, and Obama would have no problem getting ObamaCare passed because he "parked it" according to Pitt after one of his many boring speeches on the topic. This was soon followed by "he blew it" when no progress was made on ObamaCare. Of course, there is the biggest egg-on-the-face Pitt prediction of them all: the Karl Rove indictment on May 12, 2006. So on monday night when Pitt declared on this THREAD that "Martha Coakley will win on Tuesday" I felt pretty good because I knew then that it was in the bag for Scott Brown because of Pitt's perfect record for being erroneous.

If there is one thing that Pitt loves it is acting like some sort of insider as you can see in this followup THREAD, "HEADS UP: I got press credentials for the Coakley party tonight." Well, Pitt did his LIVE BLOGGING of the event which was followed by the inevitable I was wrong. So let us now watch Pretend Pundit Pitt Pontificate in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, predicting Pitt's continued career as a Web laughingstock, is in the [brackets]:

But first...a bonus song parody by DUFU co-conspirator Charles Henrickson, "But The Votes All Went Brown In Massachussets" based on Massachusetts by the Bee Gees:

Feel we've got a lock in Massachusetts
Since it's Teddy's seat, it must go blue
But the votes all went Brown in Massachusetts
They say we lost--I can't believe it's true

Tried to run and hide with Marsha Coakley
Thought there's not a thing she had to do
But the votes all went Brown in Massachusetts
They brought me down and now I'm black and blue

Talk about the loss in Massachusetts
Speak about how freakish it must be
But the votes all went Brown in Massachusetts
And massive losses come this fall I can see

I will remember Massachusetts . . .

Martha Coakley will win on Tuesday.

[Martha Coakley will win in 24 business hours.]

Bank it.

[And now Will wishes he could "Blank it."]

I am not as sanguine. hope you're right.

[Is the Mighty Will ever wrong?]

From your keyboard to God's inbox.

[Unfortunately it was diverted to Gaia's inbox.]

Why do you say that? Is that just a hunch? Most of recent polls show her falling further behind.

[Will says that because he loves to play pretend pundit for the DUmmies in the sandbox.]

Most of those polls are crap. Watch the Globe's numbers.

[Which numbers, Will? The real numbers or the fake numbers they published yesterday?]

1. Dems outnumber Repubs 3-1 in MA.

2. Brown's best hope was low turnout. Thanks to all the national attention, they're expecting turnout to be at or around 70%. That's absurdly high for an off-year election.

[The turnout was high AND Brown won big. So much for a PITTiful analysis.]

from your lips....

[ Kevin Spacey's butt.]

It's unimaginable that MA would elect a republic US Senator.

[Bank it.]

i see dire consequences in the event of a loss.

[Bank it.]

I will not be watching any pundits for several weeks if she doesn't win, because the gloat factor will be intolerable!

[Bank it.]

If you're serious about "banking" it. Then you should head over to Intrade. The Coakley contract will pay off at around 2-to-1 if you're right.

[Perhaps Pitt could "Bank it" and double his trust fund check this month.]

What's your record on predictions?

[A perfect goose egg. Bank it.]

60-40. But I'm looking to move up.

[Pitt just predicted a Coakley win by 20 points but he is looking to predict an even wider margin for her. Bank it.]

Will, have you been on the ground there or talked to anyone who is?

[Yes. Will has been on the ground of Bukowski's floor. Plus he has talked to Ty the Bouncer who will say anything that Pitt later puts into his mouth by way of perfectly convenient word-for-word quotes.]

I'm in downtown Boston and have been swimming in this race long before 90% of the DU punditry even knew it was happening. I'm actually getting a kick out of all the high-flown opinionating going on around here, because maybe 1% of the opinions evince any knowledge whatsoever about on-the-ground Massachusetts politics. This race is turning on a lot of MA factors unique to the state. It's not a grand statement on anything other than the vagaries of local politics.

[As opposed to the all-knowing on-the gound Pitt with his Coakley win prediction due to his Boston "street smarts." A man of the Trust Fund Kids people.]

The 60-40 thing was an answer to the question about how good I am at predictions. I'm right more often than wrong, but am wrong enough to make me a shaky bet.

[You were dead on in your Karl Rove indictment prediction. Oh, and President Kerry thanx you for prognosticating the 2004 election overturn. And it was just wuuuuderful how Obama finally "parked it" with ObamaCare which is about to be signed into law.]

Will, I really, really want to believe you


If you're right, I will bow down to you and be your slave.

[If you are Ben Burch, you only need to bend down.]

Hope people didn't bank too much.

[Only one month's worth of trust fund payment.]

We'll all sink to our knees and pray Martha Coakley wins, to spite your simplified all knowing, cheerleading efforts.

[Uh-oh! Do I detect annoyance with Will here? ...And now Will proudly announces, HEADS UP: I got press credentials for the Coakley party tonight.]

I will be live-blogging from inside the center of the Democratic universe, starting after 7pm EST, here:

[Does your press pass come with the Li'l Orphan Annie decoder ring?]

It'll either be a room-fulla-doom, or a joyful place to be. You'll know when I know if you keep an eye on that link.

[A joyful Pitt playing the insider pretend pundit game for the DUmmies.]

Better bring lillies - it's a wake!

[Bank it.]

You know Mass politics - what's your gut tell you?

No clue. That's the truth.

[Replied the same Pitt who a day before confidently predicted a Coakley win. Bank it.]

Yesterday you told us to "bank it" What happened since then?

[24 business hours passed in the interim.]

So bank it. I have to go to work.

[Replied an irritated Pitt. And for the trust fund kid work means playing pretend pundit for no pay other than a filled ego.]

I'm placing my bet on Intrade based on your observation. I'll take you out for a drink on the bundle I'm about to make.

[You are just $10 away from getting blasted with Pitt at Bukowski's.]

I am looking forward to your "feet on the ground" report.. What's the general mood around town?

[The mood around town is great mirth about Pitt's pretend punditry.]

Leaving now for the Coalkey event. Stay tuned.

[Don't forget to update us with an intense analysis of your own navel. ...And now Pitt LIVE BLOGS from the Coakley event...]

1:12 p.m. EST: I have ventured out into the sleet and snow to do some person-on-the-street interviews with voters, and to check out turnout levels at various polling places. For what it's worth, the city is a skating rink, but the snow and sleet is turning to rain, so hopefully the slippery sidewalks and roads will cease to be treacherous soon.

Also FYI: I got press credentials for the Coakley party in the Sheraton Back Bay, and will be reporting from inside the room after 5:00 p.m. PDT, so stay tuned.

[Please impress us again about your press credentials so you can play pretend pundit, Pitt.]

5:20 p.m. EST: It's quittin' time for much of Boston, and the late surge of voting before the polls close at 8:00 p.m. has begun.

[Thank you for that wonderful insider information, Pitt. This is something we would never otherwise know about the polls closing at 8 p.m.]

7:30 p.m. EST: The lobby outside the Sheraton ballroom where Coakley will end her campaign in victory or defeat is quiet for now. Maybe 30 people, campaign workers and press, are milling about waiting for something to do, somewhere to go, waiting for the word. Polls close at 8:00 p.m., so this time is akin to the ionization blackout that happens when returning spacecraft hit the atmosphere.

[Like that nightly blackout you suffer when a returning Pitt hits the pavement?]

7:45 p.m. EST: The doors to the ballroom will open in 15 minutes, but I managed to worm my way in through a back door. The place looks ready for a Rolling Stones concert, lights everywhere, huge stage and a riser in the middle of the room holding what appears to be every news camera in the world. If the Coakley people knew my history with these "victory parties," they'd throw me out immediately. The last two election-night events like this I covered - John Kerry's 2004 gathering in Copley Square and Christine Cegelis' confab in Illinois in 2006 - did not end well for the candidates in question. Will history repeat itself?

[You're so special, Pitt, by worming yourself into the ballroom. I am in awe of your gatecrashing abilities.]

8:02 p.m. EST: I'm in the room, availing myself of the free food before things really get rolling. There is zero enthusiasm in here despite the music thumping out of speakers in every corner. Nobody looks worried, but nobody looks confident.

[Pitt scarfs down free chow and then looks out for non-nonalcoholic refreshments.]

8:18 p.m. EST: Just spoke to a campaign worker who seemed to be looking for a noose. He just got a call from Winthrop, a traditionally Democratic stronghold. According to his source, which was someone else in the campaign, Brown won every Winthrop district.

[Winthrop banked it.]

8:20 p.m. EST: With 4% in, Brown leads Coakley 52-47. There is still a long, long way to go, Coakley is only down by about 5,000 votes, and the large metro areas of the state have yet to report in. "Too Close To Call" is the watchword for the evening thus far.

[Four words can be a watchword? So I guess the two word "bank it" can also be a watchword.]

8:50 p.m. EST: With 29% reporting, Brown still holds a 53-47 lead, almost 40,000 votes ahead. Kennedy has an eyelash over 6,000 votes, so people can begin to comfortably categorize his impact on this race as negligible.

[Bank it.]

9:10 p.m. EST: With 59% reporting, Brown has increased his lead 53-46. His vote lead has increased to almost 90,000. Kennedy has less than 13,000 votes.

This room is about half full, and everyone of age appears to be drinking heavily. By contrast, the big TVs are showing the Brown headquarters, and it is packed to the rafters in there. They smell a winner, and have every reason to be optimistic. This is not a victory party here. It's a funeral.

[And I'm sure Will is doing more than his share of the heavy drinking. Bank it.]

9:20 p.m. EST: The old bromides about large turnout being helpful to Democrats do not seem to be applying here. With 65% reporting, almost 1.5 million votes have been cast and counted. That's an absurdly high turnout for a non-November election in a day-long snowstorm, and 35% still has yet to be counted.

[Among those promoting that old bromide was none other than Will "bank it" Pitt.]

9:30 p.m. EST: It's over. With 77% reporting, the Associated Press has called the race for Republican Scott Brown. Ted Kennedy's seat just flipped to the other side of the aisle, Obama's health care reform just hit the reef, and Martha Coakley just became a first ballot entrant into the How-Did-You-Lose-This-Race Hall of Fame.

There will be plenty of time to dissect this catastrophe, but it's enough for one night. I'll watch the Coakley concession from my couch. This is a room full of doom, and I need a smoke.

[...and a drink. Especially a drink since Pitt's live blogging ends right there. This is followed by the inevitable I was wrong.]

I was wrong.

[Bank it.]

Yesterday, I put up a post predicting a Coakley win. "Bank it" were the words I used specifically.

[You parked it.]

I apologize to anyone whose hopes I got up.

[The same suckers who thought Bev Harris was just $10 away from electing Kerry president.]





Horrible will.

[Yes, his pretend punditry was truly horrible.]

I'm sorry, Will.

[Is that you, Jason Leopold?]

It's okay though. Your prediction didn't break my heart. The outcome did. On to 2012, right?

[December 21, 2012 when the ancient Mayans predicted all the DUmmies would fall off from the edge of the world when watching President-Elect Palin on the tube.]

Ultimately, this is just a bump in the road. Historically insignificant. One minor Senator is not going to set the agenda of our President.

[Sayeth DUmmie Polyanna.]

I can't even think straight right now.

[A prerequisite for entering DUmmieland.]

But goddamn, that f*cking symbolism and irony and all that fucking shit just blows your f*cking mind to tiny fragments then liquifies it in acid. I'll be damned if it doesn't and I'll be f*cked if anyone would believe (up until recently) this could really happen.

[It really happened. Bank it.]

I'm still living down "Kerry in a Landslide!"

[Bank it.]

Monday, January 18, 2010

Perpetrator of Fraudulent Rove Indictment "Scoop" Demands Rush Removal From Airwaves

Once upon a time there was a Trust Fund Kid who was bored with his life. His biggest accomplishment had been to co-author a BOOK (#912,129 on Amazon) with the now disgraced SCOTT RITTER. As you can see by the Amazon numbers, the book made barely a ripple on the ocean of fame. Meanwhile how to put himself front and center? The answer was to throw a Hail Mary pass to get himself into the limelight in the form of a journalistic "scoop." It didn't seem like such a big gamble at the time, May 2006. David Shuster of MSNBC had practically guaranteed that Karl Rove would soon be indicted by special counsel Patrick Fitzgerald. Therefore William Rivers Pitt, along with his TruthOut co-conspirators, the unstable Jason Leopold and editor and former fashion photographer Marc Ash broke the "scoop" in TruthOut. Despite the fact that Leopold already had a reputation for writing completely unreliable stories, Pitt completely backed him up as you can see HERE:

"Jason is completely up-front about the troubles in his past. Hell, he even wrote a book about it. He isn't hiding the mistakes he has made, and speaking personally, I can say that he has moved mountains to do his job with passion and integrity. His work on this matter is above reproach."

So why did Pitt go all out in backing up Leopold? Because he was desperate to grab that golden key to fame. Breaking that story, would have meant instant attention. Perhaps he could become a political pundit like Bob Shrum and hold court with the press in Boston at expensive restaurants. Alas, it was not to be. Karl Rove was never indicted on May 12, 2006 (even though Pitt publicly promised it would happen within "24 business hours") or at any other time. Meanwhile the story went out all over the news services as a legitimate story with multitudes of Democrats (including Hillary Clinton at a meeting of Michigan Democrats) loudly applauding the "good news" of the Rove indictment. When the story turned out to be a fraud, those same Democrats were left with egg on their faces and a lifelong resentment of William Rivers Pitt & Co. for causing them to make fools of themselves in public. In addition, TruthOut was removed by Google as a news source. Jason Leopold pretty much disappeared from the scene and a grumbling Pitt ended up wallowing in his misery in which he posted a voluminous PARTIAL BIRTH NON-APOLOGY in which he indulged in a lot of self-PITTy but no explanation for his journalistic fraud. To this date he has yet to apologize and, in fact, stubbornly refuses to discuss the topic for which he is best known.

So now the perpetrator of the Karl Rove Indictment fraud has the chutzpah to call for the removal of Rush Limbaugh from the airwaves as you can see in this THREAD, "The Scum of the Earth." Scum of the Earth? Hey Pitt, what do you call someone who never had the fortitude to man up and APOLOGIZE for perpetrating the journalistic fraud for which he is best known? Therefore, let us now watch Pitt get on a high horse with a gigantic chip on his shoulder demanding the removal of Rush from the airwaves in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering when Pitt will remove himself from DUmmieland as he promised (and went back on that promise) several times in in the [brackets]:

The Scum of the Earth

[Jason Leopold or you, William Rivers Pitt?]

Like the swallows returning to Capistrano, GOP luminaries Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh have once again waded into a catastrophic tragedy with all the care and concern of hammerhead sharks unleashed into a fish tank full of orphans. For those not yet in the know, the dynamic global response in the aftermath of the devastating earthquake in Haiti was accompanied by comments from Robertson and Limbaugh that would be unutterably sickening if they were not so completely predictable. To wit:

["Karl Rove was indicted on May 12, 2006."]

"I have been to Haiti way, way back a long time ago when it was a cruise ship stop, Port Au Prince, and I've seen pictures of Haiti. It is a devastatingly poor place. Nothing has ever changed, and right across the mountain ridge in the middle you've got the Dominican Republic, which is like night and day. It's like night and day. What is the one common factor. That place, Haiti, has been run by dictators and communists. How long is it going to be, how long is it going to be, before we hear Obama and the Left in this country say that what we really need to do is reinstate the communist Aristide to the leadership position down there, to coordinate putting the country back together. The Haitian economy is entirely dependent on foreign aid. They produce nothing, zilch, zero, nada, and it's been that way for the longest time."

[So Rush calls Haiti poor and corrupt. And for telling the painful truth, the "hero" the Karl Rove Indictment "scoop" wants Rush removed from the airwaves as we shall see.]

It is well-nigh impossible to decipher what Limbaugh spewed on Haiti. It is perfect gibberish: he's seen pictures, the place is poor, Aristide is a communist, and the country produces nothing (except Disney merchandise, a fact Rush left off). Coherent? Hardly. Hateful? You tell me.

[Truthful? You tell me. ...And it was certainly 100% more truthful than your Karl Rove Indictment story. Or do we still have to wait another 24 business hours for the truth on that for which you NEVER apologized and still refuse to talk about?]

Limbaugh, not content to stand pat on the aces-high hand of stupidity he dealt himself, responded by pushing the envelope even further. " has refused to apologize for his comments," reported ABC News on Friday. "On Thursday, he blasted a female caller. 'I did not say do not send donations to Haiti,' Limbaugh said, implying he was misinterpreted. He said the caller was a 'closed-minded bigot.' 'If you had listened to this program for a modicum of time, you would know it,' he said. 'But instead, you're a blockhead. Your mind is totally closed. You have tampons in your ears.'"

[Pitt wants Rush to apologize for telling the truth (unless Haiti is really prosperous and has an uncorrupted government) yet he has yet to apologize for his Rove Indictment fraud that he foisted upon the public via TruthOut.]

Yeah, we could dismiss all this as more bad noise from a couple of idjits whose verbal diarrhea is undeserving of attention. Most of the time, I would agree, but this ... this is different. The senses and sensibilities of the American public have been bombarded for days with images of horror that beggar comparison. Bodies in the streets, arms and legs sticking out from twisted rubble, screaming children, dazed men and women wandering the streets of a city that looks as if it was dropped from space and smashed against the ground.

[And this somehow contradicts the TRUTH told by Rush that Haiti is poor and corrupt?]

It is a free country, and the likes of Limbaugh and Robertson have every right to say what they think into as big a microphone as they can find. But we are as free as they are to drive them from the airwaves with pressure on the stations that broadcast them and the sponsors who support them. Let us flex that freedom and drive these two gargoyles from the body politic. They are the scum of the earth, and there is no merit in allowing their inclusion in the national conversation to continue.

[And what do you call someone who attempts the easy path to fame by gambling on promoting a news story backed up with NO real facts other than what comes out of the fantasies of one Jason Leopold? I would call such a person "scum of the earth" especially since he never apologized and continues to hide from the mere mention of that journalistic fraud. And now that very same person is calling for the removal of Rush from the airwaves for daring to say that (gasp) Haiti is poor with a corrupt government.]

They are free to say it. We are free to shout them down. The time has come.

[The time has come for Pitt to quit hypocritically grandstanding for the DUmmies and finally issue a Karl Rove Indictment Fraud apology after all these years. ...And now for the anti-climatic rants from the rest of the DUmmies...]

These two are just willfully ignorant, intentionally mean and obviously destructive. The Jesus I was raised to respect shares not a single value with Robertson and Limbaugh. If we're to judge a tree by its fruit...well, it's very sad for the many Christians who do a great deal of good work without spewing hate in the process. This strange Robertson/Limbaugh fruit ain't doin' the tree much good, in my opinion, and the disease this fruit bears tends to be contagious. If I were the tree, I'd ditch this rotten fruit like the plague.

[A supporter of the "Fairness Doctrine" chimes in.]

no ordinary scum. stealing people's money using god's name.

[Bev Harris is just $10 away from overturning the results of the 2004 election.]

Get Rush off Armed Forces Radio

[Great way to anger military personnel.]

Self righteous scum; the most dangeruos kind of slime.

[Self righteous? I think the author of this thread easily fits into that category.]

Similarly with that snake-oil huckster Limbaugh, he has to distort history and fabricate an interpretation that will distract from any discussion of reality. Again it's blame the victims.

[More like noting the TRUTH that Haiti is both poor and has a corrupt government. Or would you prefer that we hand all the aid over to the Haitian government to distribute to the victims? Somehow I believe the bulk of such aid would wind up in the pockets of the officials. Oh, shame on me for noting an obvious TRUTH.]

And both could benefit from a public horse whipping. And I'm not being hyperbolic. In the name of bigotry and hatred, they've both stolen far too much from the weak minded.

[Um...Could you name just ONE person that Rush has stolen from?]

I really wish this would end both of their careers. In a sane world it would.

[In a sane world the perpetrator of the Karl Rove Indictment fraud would be too embarrassed to be casting stones at Rush.]

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Mystery Name Missing in Pied Piper Pitt Pal Busted Thread

A certain name is missing in this DUmmie THREAD, "Sex sting in Poconos nets former chief U.N. weapons inspector (Scott Ritter)," about the pal of one William Rivers Pitt getting busted for being a pervo. I'll give you a hint: This person is currently very ACTIVE in DUmmieland yet still refrains from posting on the Bust Thread despite co-authoring a book with him. Or is this missing person really posting anonymously as a Temporary SockPuppet or in another guise? So let us now watch as the DUmmies ponder the bust of one Scott Ritter in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting the absence of that very special name, is in the [brackets]:

Sex sting in Poconos nets former chief U.N. weapons inspector (Scott Ritter)

[Co-Author with a certain someone of a vanity press book paid for with the trust fund bucks by that same certain someone.]

By Andrew Scott
Pocono Record Writer
January 14, 2010

[Poconos? I think it was there that a young PJ used to spend HOURS staring at an incredible Diego Rivera mural. It had a commie theme but it was compelling. Okay, back to the pervo news story...]

A former chief United Nations weapons inspector is accused of contacting what he thought was a 15-year-old girl in an Internet chat room, engaging in a sexual conversation and showing himself masturbating on a Web camera.

[As Yogi Berra once said, this is like déjà vu all over again.]

Scott Ritter of Delmar, N.Y., who served as chief U.N. weapons inspector in Iraq from 1991-98 and who was an outspoken critic of the second Bush administration in the run-up to the war in Iraq, is accused of contacting what turned out to be a Barrett Township police officer posing undercover as a teen girl.

[What's the drive time between Delmar NY and Newton MA?]

The police affidavit gives the following account:

Officer Ryan Venneman was posing as 15-year-old "Emily" in an online chat room when he was contacted by someone using the name "Delmarm4fun." This person, later identified as Ritter, told "Emily" he was a 44-year-old male from Albany, N.Y.

[Ben Burch would prefer Ryan to "Emily."]

"Emily" told Ritter she was a 15-year-old girl from the Poconos, at which point Ritter asked for a picture other than the one "Emily" had posted on her account. Ritter then sent her a link to his Web camera and began to masturbate on camera.

[Ben Burch wants that video!]

"Emily" asked Ritter for his cell phone number, which he provided.


Ritter again asked "Emily" how old she was. Told she was 15, Ritter said he didn't realize she was 15 and turned off his webcam, saying he didn't want to get in trouble.

[Too old for Scott.]

Ritter told "Emily" he had been fantasizing about having sex with her, to which she replied: "Guess you turned it off ..."

[This conversation has already turned me off.]

Ritter then said: "You want to see it finish," reactivated his
webcam and continued masturbating and ejaculated on camera.

[Ben Burch just broke his thumb hitting the "replay" button.]

The online conversation occurred in February 2009, but the investigation lasted until November, when Ritter was charged, because police had to undergo the lengthy process of obtaining court orders to get Ritter's cell phone and computer information.

[Any interesting e-mail sent to a certain patron of Bukowski's?]

Ritter is awaiting his next appearance in Monroe County Common Pleas Court. He waived his right last month to a preliminary hearing and is free on $25,000 unsecured bail.

[Saddam Hussein is now dead so no flight risk. And now the DUmmies, with the very notable exception of one, discuss this sordid story...]

And they still can't arrest Bush and Cheney for war crimes.

[Good news! You can still buy "War On Iraq" by Scott Ritter and WHO?]

Mr Ritter I hope you're ready for what awaits you in the lockup. Only pedophiles like other pedophiles the rest of us detest them. Most of your future cell mates will be in that hate you group.

[Ben Burch will be in that love you group.]

I seem to recall he had similar charges against him a few years back.

[Uh-Oh! Ritter will be in the slammer for a long time...unless he gives up some names or at least one name.]

it was very political since the details of that case were supposed to sealed

[His case was sealed for 24 business hours on May 12, 2006.]

Hasn't Ritter already gotten himself in trouble trying to hook up with underage girls? I remember there was some Burger King incident a few years back.

[He tried to get out of the latter incident by telling a Whopper.]

Blew his credibility all over a web cam- asshole.

[Ben Burch would also like to blow some of that credibility.]

Sounds like he has a WMD in his britches

[More like a WSD. Weapon of Self Destruction.]

Jesus H. Christ, how many times do these guys have to get busted?

[It is Chris Hansen to whom you need to address that question.]

"I made some sweet tea it's on the table, I just gotta put this stuff in the washer real quick ."


so i guess he won't be invited to testify in congress any time soon

[Perhaps not but he has an open invitation for "To Catch a Predator.]

Wow. Ejaculating on camera gives new meaning to the term "smoking gun".

[Ben Burch wants to pull that trigger.]

I am waiting for the trial

[Guess who WON'T be appearing as a character witness.]

Didn't he co-author a book with a well known DUer?

[I believe you're right but recalling his name WILL be a tough task. I PITTy the one who has to figure that out.]

Co-author night be considered a stretch as I understood the book was based on one long face to face interview with Ritter. Our DUer, like most DUers, felt totally betrayed when the first story broke.

[Our DUer turned himself into a Temporary SockPuppet when the first story broke.]

Friday, January 15, 2010

Pied Piper Pitt Plays Pretend Pundit in MA Senate Race

Mumsy and Daddy invested some big bucks in your trust fund and what do you have to show for it? Other than heavily investing in "liquid assets" at Bukowski's and shelling out of pocket for vanity press books that only a few friends read, not much. Oh sure, there was that big Hail Mary pass on May 12, 2006 that looked like a sure thing. Unfortunately Karl Rove was NOT indicted and with his non-indictment any chance that the political establishment would take you seriously went up in smoke. Yes, if the indictment had happened William Rivers Pitt would be (in his own mind) now holding court with the national press at some fine dining restaurant in Boston, pontificating on the state of the Senate race between Scott Brown and Martha Coakley. Unfortunately for Pitt, he forever ruined his potential pundit career and can now only play pretend pundit for a bunch of sanity-challenged DUmmies as you can see in his THREAD, "Red Mass?" So let us now watch Pied Piper Pitt pontificate on the race to the DUmmie asylum in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting Pitt's permanent sideline status, is in the [brackets]:

Red Mass?

[A religious ritual performed by KENNEDY CATHOLICS?]

The nature of modern American politics has been off-the-wall weird for a dozen years now. We've seen a president impeached for lying about sex. We've seen another president who was selected instead of elected in an orgiastic festival of Florida and federal fraud. We saw an administration use the darkest day in our history as an excuse to scare us, spy on us, steal from us and start false wars in our name. We've seen a vice president go on national television and advocate the benefits and blessings of torture. We came within an eyelash of seeing the first woman president elected in this still-misogynist nation, and did see the first African-American president elected in this still-racist nation.

[We did see Karl Rove indicted within 24 business hours of May 12, 2006.]

Those are just the big-ticket items. It is almost impossible to quantify the political mayhem that has broken loose during the last several years, and after all of it, you start to think that maybe you've seen it all. How much more deranged can it really get?

[Deranged enough to think you could Hail Mary yourself into fame with a fraudulent journalistic scoop.]



The open US Senate seat for Massachusetts, held since 1962 by the late liberal icon Edward M. Kennedy, could be filled on Tuesday by an outrageously hard-right Republican named Scott Brown if the voting breaks his way.

[The sacred Ted Kennedy seat. It doesn't belong to the people. It belongs to a certain aristocracy.]


[Are you cereal?]

A seat that has been in Democratic hands since God was in short pants could flip to the GOP after the special election to fill Kennedy's vacant seat takes place next week. Not to some sanded-down version of a Republican, mind you, but a real rock-ribbed fire-breathing right winger. GOP candidate Scott Brown enthusiastically endorses the use of torture, is anti-choice, against stem cell research, and once sponsored an amendment that would have let emergency room workers turn away rape victims if said workers had religious objections to giving those victims emergency contraception should they request it.

[Scott Brown enthusiastically endorses the use of torture? That must mean he favors forcing prisoners to read you PERFORM ENDLESS "PENITENCE" AT DUMMIE CANOSSA when you wrote volumes to deliver a partial birth non-apology.]

This guy - this guy - could take Teddy Kennedy's seat. That a man like this is even within shouting distance of winning a true-blue Massachusetts Senate seat is eloquent proof that the world has, indeed, gone completely barking mad.

[This guy - this guy who is so ordinary as to not live off a trust fund - could take Teddy Kennedy's seat. That a common man dare come within shouting distance of the sacred Kennedy seat is eloquent proof that our formerly aristocratic world has, indeed, gone completely barking mad. ...and now to the DUmmie Peanut Gallery.]

I hope that people will get scared enough to go out & send Mr Hunk

[The press already sent Mr Pitt packing.]

will, what's your gut take on who's going to win?

[Will, please play pretend pundit for the DUmmies.]

As of yesterday, Coalkey is up by 8. Turnout is everything, and there's no way to predict.

[Freudenschade, baby! The Coakley camp can now break out the victory champagne given Pitt's track record as a pundit.]

Obama and his bill are toxic in this state. Gawd help us.

[Your Kewpie Doll is in the mail!]

This is what happened in the VA Governors race. Dem base are discouraged, not turning out the vote.

[If the polling station is Bukowski's, you can be sure Pitt will turn out.]

A confession from your Mother....... I campaigned for Eddie McCormick in the primary against Teddy in 1962. I was almost disowned. :-) Now, all these years later, I have acquired some wisdom...If I was back in Massachusetts I would walk a hundred miles in a blzzard to cast my vote for the Democrat even if that Democrat was the Devil herself.

[That was DUmmie Raven, the trust fund providing mumsy of Will. And don't worry about no longer living in Massachussets, Ma. ACORN can cast a vote their for you.]

It's going to be a political earthquake.

[Not to be confused with a Haitian earthquake.]

You expect Kansas to elect a BROWNback, but not Mass.

[You expect Mass to elect a BROKEback.]

Advice for the Lovelorn Loon: "Twice Shy :("

Remember all the gals (and maybe a few guys) back in Campaign 2008 who looked upon BO as their BOyfriend? The fainters and the swooners? Why, we even had a song about that back then:

Tune: "I Don't Know How to Love Him"

I don't know why I love him,
My Barack, my Obama;
I've been charmed, yes really charmed,
By his trim physique, so slim and sleek--
I'm awed by his mystique.

I don't know why he's running,
I don't see any substance;
No real plan, flash in the pan,
And I've heard such empty words before
That when I close my eyes
He's just a bore.

But I like his face,
And I like his voice;
Makes my heartbeat race!
Makes me feel all moist!
I never thought I'd come to this:
Obama is my choice.

Don't you think it's rather shallow
I should vote for this fellow?
I'm the one who's always been
So pure, so pissed, so feminist;
I don't need men, oh no--
He scares me so.

But I like his face,
And I like his voice;
Makes my heartbeat race!
Makes me feel all moist!
I never thought I'd come to this:
Obama is my choice.

Yet, like in a romance novel,
I'm in love with a male model;
I've got to look! He signed my book!
My heart runs wild! I'll bear his child!
I want the world to know:
He's my "Big O"!
Obama, go!
I love you so!

Well, apparently, the BO BObbysoxers of 2008 are still around. She's more of "The Sadder But Wiser Girl" by now, but still looking for love in all the prog places. In this case her name is DUmmie Mermaid7, the poster of this
THREAD, "Twice Shy :("

So let us drop in on Tiger Beat, as it turns into Advice for the Lovelorn Loon, in I Heart Obama Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, admitting that some of us conservative men do swoon over Sarah a little bit, is in the [Barackets]:

Twice Shy :(

[Once Smitten <3 ]

While I want to fall in love all over again. . . .

[Deja DU all over again.]

and to find a new founded hope with Alan Grayson and of course Dennis Kucinich. . . .

[Alan "Dick" Grayson and Dennis "Kookie" Kucinich, the Jonas Brothers of middle-aged prog women.]

I truly find myself after my once in a life time, heart-breaking love affair w Obama,

[Cue the Spinners: "One of a kind love affair is. . . ."]

less likely to trust anyone ever again. Not for a long, long time.

[Love is a battlefield.]

My only and very last hope is that somehow he is able to express himself, as he portrayed himself to be during his campaign and while hugging his daughters and wife. . . .

[Mermaid7 is thinking, "That should be ME up there, being hugged by my Barry--not YOU, Michelle, you big hussy!"]

my last shred of hope for Obama, that he rises above this fray, does the right thing and then maybe I will look to him w a small shred of hope again. It's really what I want and need. . . .

[Shredded Mini-Wants.]

Reconcile us about your goodness to humanity... our's included. Pls Sir.


[Now some of the other DUmmies have advice for this lovelorn loon . . .]

Get a hobby.

[Get a hubby.]

Strange OP...

[Love is strange.]

Ummm... I think you're looking for myspace... or facebook... Or maybe some dating site...

[Maybe Mermaid7 can hook up with DUmmie stevenumbers.]

I'm worried about you. These are politicians, not love interests or deities. . . .

[Obamassiah is all of the above.]

We have a cooking/baking group, I believe. Also a gun group or something. Stamp collecting perhaps?

[Mermaid7 is definitely interested in the U.S. Male.]

You joined us on 11/01/08. Fascinating.

[Mr. Spock checks in.]

Falling "in love" with any president or other politician is silly. They are not your lovers or even your friends.

[Ooh! Cruel! This is like a bucket of ice water thrown in the face of Mermaid7!]

It's one thing to support a president or politician enthusiastically. . . . What I find silly is the idea of being "in love," even ideologically, with one, which strikes me as childish, like a crush on an actor or a rock star. . . . This is no reason to get the vapors.

[Hysteria Lane: Home of Desperate Mermaids.]

Better to fall in love with a cat or dog than a politician.

[benburch speaks from experience.]

If you don't have a spouse, you should get one.....cause it is obvious that you are looking for a boyfriend.

[Attractive SW Mermaid seeking Aquarius man. Loves moonrises, holding fins, swims near the beach. No rethugs pls.]

I should get a spouse????? How SEXIST is that statement!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wowza!

[Mermaid7 gets HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

With that I'm not even going to feel the need to state my marital status. Lets just say this morning, well hmmm, let's not say!

[Oh, let's!]

go hussle men elsewhere...

[ben is not keen on the competition.]

this isn't a dating website.

[DUmmieland is not the eHarmony of the Left, you know. . . . Mermaid7 responds, in the Bizarre Post of the Day . . .]

oh Jesus, oh Lord, Kimbalaa, Yeah you're going to tremble and wish i pushed my sweet loving female @ss off to another site I'm hot and I'm hungry for both you JuniperLea, and Frenchie-D*cks limp appendages. Harrumph, harrumph, just like a Nascar racer,getting my motor running. just wait to I rotate my wheels....RAAAAAAH!!! Scar edy cats!

[Rotate your tires.]

I think I need to add this person to Ignoreville...

[Ignoreville, the loneliest little town in DUmmieland.]

What a load. Take it down a notch or two and try again.

[Or not . . .]

Locking. This thread is not going well at all, and we are locking this up as inflammatory.

[Locking for love in all the wrong places.]

- - - - -


Mermaid7 posted a THREAD to protest her thread being locked!

Why is a thread on this site locked up? Mine just was.

[It's locked, because you're loaded!]

I would like to know why, when a few members of this site happen to disagree on a subject, why it is immediately locked up?

[It's not the locker, it's the liquor!]

On Democratic Underground, that doesn't sound like 'Our Right to Free Speech to Me'.

[What are you talking about? Why, just look at all the posts by pro-life Democrats! The free exchange of ideas! . . . Well, OK, maybe I should use a different example. . . .]

Makes me feel a little paranoid, here.

[Paranoia is paranormal in DUmmieland.]

no-one agreed with me, but for the sake of arguement and discourse, isn't that the very resaon why we are here?

[No, actually, you are here to provide fodder for the DUmmie FUnnies.]

[Thanx, Mermaid7, now let's see how this one fares . . .]

You dont' have a right to free speech on DU. Check the Rules. IBTL and FWTP.

[Facists Will Tombstone Posters?]

FWTP? Fresh White Toilet Paper?


First with the popcorn. . . .

[FWTP! Yes, the entertainment value is the great redeeming feature of Skin's Island.]

The FWTP is what you have to resort to when you're out of napkins and the pizza gets here.


I thought you were representing a Democratic Society. who would have imagined if they had read the 'rules' more carefully that it was the Gestapo. Say only what we say.

[Mermaid7, I don't know if you can win a Kewpie Doll for a post on your own thread. We'll have to consult the "rules."]

Yes, it's exactly like the Gestapo! The hyperbole, the hyperbole...

[People who engage in hyperbole should be taken out and SHOT!]

Au contraire--it's more like gaspacho

[That would be souperbole.]

You're just dense. . . . Oh, and the previous thread was silly and rather amusing.

[I especially liked the part where Mermaid7 revved her engine: "Harrumph, harrumph....RAAAAAAH!!!"

What happened to Mermaid1 through Mermaid6?

[They're in Davy Jones' Locker. Aquatic tombstoning.]

posting another thread asking about it is generally considered calling out the mods, and so this thread will probably be locked as well. . . .


You have to pay the Mods to get it opened up again. $100 usually works.

[Mermaid7 is only $10 away from getting unlocked.]

Is someone baking pizza here? I smell pizza.

[There's a whiff of facism in the air.]

This thread pleases me.

[benburch likes to watch.]

My cat's breath smells like strawberries.

[The eagle flies at midnight. Do you have information for me?]

Locking. . . .

[Who knew?]