Friday, January 15, 2010

Advice for the Lovelorn Loon: "Twice Shy :("

Remember all the gals (and maybe a few guys) back in Campaign 2008 who looked upon BO as their BOyfriend? The fainters and the swooners? Why, we even had a song about that back then:

Tune: "I Don't Know How to Love Him"

I don't know why I love him,
My Barack, my Obama;
I've been charmed, yes really charmed,
By his trim physique, so slim and sleek--
I'm awed by his mystique.

I don't know why he's running,
I don't see any substance;
No real plan, flash in the pan,
And I've heard such empty words before
That when I close my eyes
He's just a bore.

But I like his face,
And I like his voice;
Makes my heartbeat race!
Makes me feel all moist!
I never thought I'd come to this:
Obama is my choice.

Don't you think it's rather shallow
I should vote for this fellow?
I'm the one who's always been
So pure, so pissed, so feminist;
I don't need men, oh no--
He scares me so.

But I like his face,
And I like his voice;
Makes my heartbeat race!
Makes me feel all moist!
I never thought I'd come to this:
Obama is my choice.

Yet, like in a romance novel,
I'm in love with a male model;
I've got to look! He signed my book!
My heart runs wild! I'll bear his child!
I want the world to know:
He's my "Big O"!
Obama, go!
I love you so!

Well, apparently, the BO BObbysoxers of 2008 are still around. She's more of "The Sadder But Wiser Girl" by now, but still looking for love in all the prog places. In this case her name is DUmmie Mermaid7, the poster of this
THREAD, "Twice Shy :("

So let us drop in on Tiger Beat, as it turns into Advice for the Lovelorn Loon, in I Heart Obama Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, admitting that some of us conservative men do swoon over Sarah a little bit, is in the [Barackets]:

Twice Shy :(

[Once Smitten <3 ]

While I want to fall in love all over again. . . .

[Deja DU all over again.]

and to find a new founded hope with Alan Grayson and of course Dennis Kucinich. . . .

[Alan "Dick" Grayson and Dennis "Kookie" Kucinich, the Jonas Brothers of middle-aged prog women.]

I truly find myself after my once in a life time, heart-breaking love affair w Obama,

[Cue the Spinners: "One of a kind love affair is. . . ."]

less likely to trust anyone ever again. Not for a long, long time.

[Love is a battlefield.]

My only and very last hope is that somehow he is able to express himself, as he portrayed himself to be during his campaign and while hugging his daughters and wife. . . .

[Mermaid7 is thinking, "That should be ME up there, being hugged by my Barry--not YOU, Michelle, you big hussy!"]

my last shred of hope for Obama, that he rises above this fray, does the right thing and then maybe I will look to him w a small shred of hope again. It's really what I want and need. . . .

[Shredded Mini-Wants.]

Reconcile us about your goodness to humanity... our's included. Pls Sir.


[Now some of the other DUmmies have advice for this lovelorn loon . . .]

Get a hobby.

[Get a hubby.]

Strange OP...

[Love is strange.]

Ummm... I think you're looking for myspace... or facebook... Or maybe some dating site...

[Maybe Mermaid7 can hook up with DUmmie stevenumbers.]

I'm worried about you. These are politicians, not love interests or deities. . . .

[Obamassiah is all of the above.]

We have a cooking/baking group, I believe. Also a gun group or something. Stamp collecting perhaps?

[Mermaid7 is definitely interested in the U.S. Male.]

You joined us on 11/01/08. Fascinating.

[Mr. Spock checks in.]

Falling "in love" with any president or other politician is silly. They are not your lovers or even your friends.

[Ooh! Cruel! This is like a bucket of ice water thrown in the face of Mermaid7!]

It's one thing to support a president or politician enthusiastically. . . . What I find silly is the idea of being "in love," even ideologically, with one, which strikes me as childish, like a crush on an actor or a rock star. . . . This is no reason to get the vapors.

[Hysteria Lane: Home of Desperate Mermaids.]

Better to fall in love with a cat or dog than a politician.

[benburch speaks from experience.]

If you don't have a spouse, you should get one.....cause it is obvious that you are looking for a boyfriend.

[Attractive SW Mermaid seeking Aquarius man. Loves moonrises, holding fins, swims near the beach. No rethugs pls.]

I should get a spouse????? How SEXIST is that statement!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wowza!

[Mermaid7 gets HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

With that I'm not even going to feel the need to state my marital status. Lets just say this morning, well hmmm, let's not say!

[Oh, let's!]

go hussle men elsewhere...

[ben is not keen on the competition.]

this isn't a dating website.

[DUmmieland is not the eHarmony of the Left, you know. . . . Mermaid7 responds, in the Bizarre Post of the Day . . .]

oh Jesus, oh Lord, Kimbalaa, Yeah you're going to tremble and wish i pushed my sweet loving female @ss off to another site I'm hot and I'm hungry for both you JuniperLea, and Frenchie-D*cks limp appendages. Harrumph, harrumph, just like a Nascar racer,getting my motor running. just wait to I rotate my wheels....RAAAAAAH!!! Scar edy cats!

[Rotate your tires.]

I think I need to add this person to Ignoreville...

[Ignoreville, the loneliest little town in DUmmieland.]

What a load. Take it down a notch or two and try again.

[Or not . . .]

Locking. This thread is not going well at all, and we are locking this up as inflammatory.

[Locking for love in all the wrong places.]

- - - - -


Mermaid7 posted a THREAD to protest her thread being locked!

Why is a thread on this site locked up? Mine just was.

[It's locked, because you're loaded!]

I would like to know why, when a few members of this site happen to disagree on a subject, why it is immediately locked up?

[It's not the locker, it's the liquor!]

On Democratic Underground, that doesn't sound like 'Our Right to Free Speech to Me'.

[What are you talking about? Why, just look at all the posts by pro-life Democrats! The free exchange of ideas! . . . Well, OK, maybe I should use a different example. . . .]

Makes me feel a little paranoid, here.

[Paranoia is paranormal in DUmmieland.]

no-one agreed with me, but for the sake of arguement and discourse, isn't that the very resaon why we are here?

[No, actually, you are here to provide fodder for the DUmmie FUnnies.]

[Thanx, Mermaid7, now let's see how this one fares . . .]

You dont' have a right to free speech on DU. Check the Rules. IBTL and FWTP.

[Facists Will Tombstone Posters?]

FWTP? Fresh White Toilet Paper?


First with the popcorn. . . .

[FWTP! Yes, the entertainment value is the great redeeming feature of Skin's Island.]

The FWTP is what you have to resort to when you're out of napkins and the pizza gets here.


I thought you were representing a Democratic Society. who would have imagined if they had read the 'rules' more carefully that it was the Gestapo. Say only what we say.

[Mermaid7, I don't know if you can win a Kewpie Doll for a post on your own thread. We'll have to consult the "rules."]

Yes, it's exactly like the Gestapo! The hyperbole, the hyperbole...

[People who engage in hyperbole should be taken out and SHOT!]

Au contraire--it's more like gaspacho

[That would be souperbole.]

You're just dense. . . . Oh, and the previous thread was silly and rather amusing.

[I especially liked the part where Mermaid7 revved her engine: "Harrumph, harrumph....RAAAAAAH!!!"

What happened to Mermaid1 through Mermaid6?

[They're in Davy Jones' Locker. Aquatic tombstoning.]

posting another thread asking about it is generally considered calling out the mods, and so this thread will probably be locked as well. . . .


You have to pay the Mods to get it opened up again. $100 usually works.

[Mermaid7 is only $10 away from getting unlocked.]

Is someone baking pizza here? I smell pizza.

[There's a whiff of facism in the air.]

This thread pleases me.

[benburch likes to watch.]

My cat's breath smells like strawberries.

[The eagle flies at midnight. Do you have information for me?]

Locking. . . .

[Who knew?]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

"This is no reason to get the vapors"-DUmmie

Especially since getting the vapors means getting gas. I must grudgingly agree with this DUmmie, even if he didn't know what he was talking about.

9:40 AM  
Blogger Tazzerman said...

DUmmieland CAN be a very cold, hard place can't it? LOl :) -tm

11:04 AM  
Anonymous Anon 1:50 said...

In the Victorian era, a wide variety of conditions which primarily affected women were referred to as “the vapors.”

A wide variety of symptoms were lumped under “the vapors,” including anxiety, depression, bloating, fainting, loss of appetite, tremors, digestive issues, and behavioral problems. In an era where women were expected to adhere to very strict rules of behavior, free-spirited women like suffragettes were often diagnosed with a case of the vapors.

The treatment most generally prescribed was rest, sometimes with the judicious application of smelling salts to revive swooning women.

At the time, doctors claimed that as much as a quarter of the female population was afflicted with the vapors. Given the wide variety of conditions which could be encompassed by this umbrella term, this is perhaps not surprising, especially since women who thought for themselves were often assumed to be suffering from the vapors.

However, some Victorian women undoubtedly did have legitimate medical complaints which were left untreated, such as cancers, depression, underlying infections, and conditions caused by lacing corsets too tightly.

-Sounds like most of DUmmieland.

3:41 PM  

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