DUmmies hot over Frozone-Obama's spending freeze!
So the rumor is, in his State of the Useless address Wednesday night, Dear Reader will call for a three-year freeze in discretionary spending. Now if Hal the Teleprompter doesn't misbehave, and that indeed turns out to be the case, does that mean Conman O'Bama has suddenly made a right turn? No, of course not. For several reasons: 1) It's an election year, and this is political posturing; 2) The Dems have already jacked up spending so much that to freeze it is simply to keep it at astronomical levels; and 3) The discretionary spending to be frozen represents only a small portion of the federal budget. But the Dems have got to SOUND conservative in order to win elections, especially after the recent rebuffs in New Jersey, Virginia, and Massachusetts.
But say "spending freeze" around the socialist-utopian DUmmies, and they will go RED HOT with rage! DUmmieland is ON FIRE right now with anger at Barack Frozone-Obama and his cold-as-ice spending freeze! Betrayal heaped upon betrayal! Witness this THREAD, "Obama wants to freeze discretionary spending for 3 years."
But before we get to the DUmmies, let's sing!
Budget full! There's a budget full
Of spending to the skies
Wool to pull! We've got wool to pull
Down over voters' eyes . . .
Keep the spending sprees
And we'll call it a "freeze"
Time to appease
So let's call it a "freeze"
We still can spend
Like there's no end
Of billions like these
But our little "freeze"--
There are some it won't please
They're ill at ease
They've got soiled dungarees
Their hue and cry
Tells me that I
Have caught a disease
Just to hear and quote them
Is something that annoys
But it's clear they'll vote Dem
Let them make their noise
Spending still will stay
At a hundred degrees
But we can say
That a cold winter breeze
Started to blow
Thank you, BO
You've put in a freeze
So put on your flameproof underwear as we feel the rage of the DUmmies, in Red-Hot Red, while the cool commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, waiting for the day when the government actually CUTS spending and hell freezes over, is in the [Barackets]:
Obama wants to freeze discretionary spending for 3 years
[Translation of this CNN headline: Obama wants to keep spending like crazy but sound conservative to win in November.]
The officials would not reveal the details of which domestic programs would be cut, as they prepare to face major pushback from liberals in the president's own party. . . .
[Batten down the hatches! Here it comes!]
If we wanted spending freezes we would have voted for McCain.
I thought Obama was going to turn left.
[This is his "Left Behind" series, and you're it.]
not a dime's worth of dif between Obama and Mcain, other than Obama has a much better VP in Biden
[This just in: BIDEN RESIGNS, OBAMA NAMES PALIN NEW VP]
I always say, when your base is already pissed the best course to take is to screw them over even worse.
Bush's third term
Um, you do realize that Obama's budget has the largest deficit in history, don't you?
[At least he's doing SOMETHING right!]
Why alleged "security" spending is sancrosanct is beyond me, though.
[Maybe because--oh, I don't know--national security is the main reason we HAVE a federal government? Just a thought.]
[How. Me Tonto.]
How much do I not like this person?
[Let me count the ways.]
Military gets whatever they want, everyone else gets the middle finger. F*** THE MILITARY!!
[Now may I question your patriotism?]
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, ad infinitum.....
[Stuck on stupid.]
I got it! He's not playing chess. He's playing golf. Lowest score on election night wins.
[Obama is Tiger Woods, and the DUmmies are Elin Nordegren with a golf club in her hands.]
$83 billion a year is a pittance compared to the size of the budget.
[It's just a drop in the budget.]
Any suggestions for a Democratic, genuinely progressive candidate to oppose Obama and Palin in 2012?
[See? Palin IS going to be his VP!]
It's almost like a "Democratic" budget. Except it's the exact opposite.
[Close but no bizarre.]
Who is giving him this lousy advice. . . ?
[His new economic adviser . . . oh, what was his name again? . . . that's right! Kurt Grove.]
This person needs to be identified and appointed ambassador to East Bumf***istan no later than last week.
[Sorry, there is a spending freeze on trips to East Bumf***istan.]
the DNC called wanting $$$ to "further his agenda"
[Mr. Freeze is only $10 away from furthering his agenda.]
Obama needs to stop buttering up the asses of a bunch of people that could care less about him.
[benburch wants Obama to spread the butter around.]
Not one working class American should suffer because of a spending freeze --- especially if the Pentagon remains a sacred cow.
[If you cross a spending freeze with a sacred cow, would you get a Tastee Freeze?]
Fuuuuuuuuuuuu***ing d*mmit, again. It is like the bullsh*t is accelerating.
[Now up to Mock 2!]
I'm getting sleepy; I think I'll take a long nap on November 2nd. . . .
Oh yes! Let's freeze spending on education and health care!!
[Freeze at last! Freeze at last! Thank God Almighty, a freeze at last!]
He was the president of the Harvard Law Review. He is not stupid.
[DUmmie EFerrari, aka Doug's ex-wife, sticks up for the Poison Ivy Leaguer.]
Is there any way of getting Obama's attention?
[Bribe Hal the Teleprompter.]
What fresh new horror is this?
[Frozenstein Meets the Wealthman.]
OK, now he's embarrassing himself. I'm torn between anger and pity.
[Go with anger. It's the DUmmies' métier.]
This is not a bad thing; Freezing spending programs after a 2010 8% increase and the rearranging of priorities. . . . this announcement will make it not only non controversial, but a positive thing. . . . it still is an 8% increase over 2009!
[DUmmie FrenchieCat realizes the "freeze" is really no big deal: The Dems can still spend like crazy, while sounding conservative. Well, not quite a Kewpie Doll, FrenchieCat, but at least you see through Frozone's phony freeze.]
I will see what the President says during his speech.
[You're actually going to watch? I bet you like root canals too.]
BOOM goes the dynamite!
Good times, good times.