Friday, January 15, 2010

Pied Piper Pitt Plays Pretend Pundit in MA Senate Race

Mumsy and Daddy invested some big bucks in your trust fund and what do you have to show for it? Other than heavily investing in "liquid assets" at Bukowski's and shelling out of pocket for vanity press books that only a few friends read, not much. Oh sure, there was that big Hail Mary pass on May 12, 2006 that looked like a sure thing. Unfortunately Karl Rove was NOT indicted and with his non-indictment any chance that the political establishment would take you seriously went up in smoke. Yes, if the indictment had happened William Rivers Pitt would be (in his own mind) now holding court with the national press at some fine dining restaurant in Boston, pontificating on the state of the Senate race between Scott Brown and Martha Coakley. Unfortunately for Pitt, he forever ruined his potential pundit career and can now only play pretend pundit for a bunch of sanity-challenged DUmmies as you can see in his THREAD, "Red Mass?" So let us now watch Pied Piper Pitt pontificate on the race to the DUmmie asylum in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting Pitt's permanent sideline status, is in the [brackets]:


Red Mass?

[A religious ritual performed by KENNEDY CATHOLICS?]

The nature of modern American politics has been off-the-wall weird for a dozen years now. We've seen a president impeached for lying about sex. We've seen another president who was selected instead of elected in an orgiastic festival of Florida and federal fraud. We saw an administration use the darkest day in our history as an excuse to scare us, spy on us, steal from us and start false wars in our name. We've seen a vice president go on national television and advocate the benefits and blessings of torture. We came within an eyelash of seeing the first woman president elected in this still-misogynist nation, and did see the first African-American president elected in this still-racist nation.

[We did see Karl Rove indicted within 24 business hours of May 12, 2006.]

Those are just the big-ticket items. It is almost impossible to quantify the political mayhem that has broken loose during the last several years, and after all of it, you start to think that maybe you've seen it all. How much more deranged can it really get?

[Deranged enough to think you could Hail Mary yourself into fame with a fraudulent journalistic scoop.]

Well.

[Will.]

The open US Senate seat for Massachusetts, held since 1962 by the late liberal icon Edward M. Kennedy, could be filled on Tuesday by an outrageously hard-right Republican named Scott Brown if the voting breaks his way.

[The sacred Ted Kennedy seat. It doesn't belong to the people. It belongs to a certain aristocracy.]

Seriously.

[Are you cereal?]

A seat that has been in Democratic hands since God was in short pants could flip to the GOP after the special election to fill Kennedy's vacant seat takes place next week. Not to some sanded-down version of a Republican, mind you, but a real rock-ribbed fire-breathing right winger. GOP candidate Scott Brown enthusiastically endorses the use of torture, is anti-choice, against stem cell research, and once sponsored an amendment that would have let emergency room workers turn away rape victims if said workers had religious objections to giving those victims emergency contraception should they request it.

[Scott Brown enthusiastically endorses the use of torture? That must mean he favors forcing prisoners to read you PERFORM ENDLESS "PENITENCE" AT DUMMIE CANOSSA when you wrote volumes to deliver a partial birth non-apology.]

This guy - this guy - could take Teddy Kennedy's seat. That a man like this is even within shouting distance of winning a true-blue Massachusetts Senate seat is eloquent proof that the world has, indeed, gone completely barking mad.

[This guy - this guy who is so ordinary as to not live off a trust fund - could take Teddy Kennedy's seat. That a common man dare come within shouting distance of the sacred Kennedy seat is eloquent proof that our formerly aristocratic world has, indeed, gone completely barking mad. ...and now to the DUmmie Peanut Gallery.]

I hope that people will get scared enough to go out & send Mr Hunk
packing..

[The press already sent Mr Pitt packing.]

will, what's your gut take on who's going to win?

[Will, please play pretend pundit for the DUmmies.]

As of yesterday, Coalkey is up by 8. Turnout is everything, and there's no way to predict.

[Freudenschade, baby! The Coakley camp can now break out the victory champagne given Pitt's track record as a pundit.]

Obama and his bill are toxic in this state. Gawd help us.

[Your Kewpie Doll is in the mail!]

This is what happened in the VA Governors race. Dem base are discouraged, not turning out the vote.

[If the polling station is Bukowski's, you can be sure Pitt will turn out.]

A confession from your Mother....... I campaigned for Eddie McCormick in the primary against Teddy in 1962. I was almost disowned. :-) Now, all these years later, I have acquired some wisdom...If I was back in Massachusetts I would walk a hundred miles in a blzzard to cast my vote for the Democrat even if that Democrat was the Devil herself.

[That was DUmmie Raven, the trust fund providing mumsy of Will. And don't worry about no longer living in Massachussets, Ma. ACORN can cast a vote their for you.]

It's going to be a political earthquake.

[Not to be confused with a Haitian earthquake.]

You expect Kansas to elect a BROWNback, but not Mass.

[You expect Mass to elect a BROKEback.]

3 Comments:

Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

Obama won Massachusetts by 31 points just 14 months ago, so what's the problem? Pitt fumes and sputters but offers no insight into the Senate race in Bay State and why it appears so close.

Coakley is a political hack who is stupid and inarticulate. Her debate with Brown was a fiasco and she reacts to tough questions from the press by accusing reporters of stalking and having them thrown to the sidewalk. The entire basis of her fumbled campaign seems to be one of entitlement---she's the appointed heir to the Kennedy seat.

She'll probably celebrate her election victory by getting drunk and driving her car off the Chappaquiddick Bridge. Yes, I expect her to win and take a seat in the Senate along side giants such as Al Franken and Robert Byrd.

Yet even a close race will be a warning to Democrat members of Congress already nervous about November.

9:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This one's just ripe for troggy boy.
Whaddya say troggy.
Remember little lad, no points for stupidity.

(quietly waiting for some "witty" response)

Skul

8:25 PM  
Anonymous Masshole said...

Is he really following the candidates in this race? or sensationalizing? Rrock-ribbed fire-breathing right winger? Seriously?!? Has he ever listened to the guy speak? In any red state Brown would likely be called a RINO. How else could the repubs get elected in Mass (see Weld, Celucci, Swift). Romney may be the one exception. If Brown wins, it's only because Coakley lost due to her own complacency and arrogance.

11:30 AM  

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