Saturday, August 07, 2010

"Is anyone else enormously stressed out right now?"



These are stressful times for the DUmmies. Obambi's approval ratings are going down the DUmper. The state of Missouri (where I live) just gave a big Prop C thumbs-down to Obamacare. The Democrats are looking at a nightmare in November. Stressful times indeed.

So how are our little friends in DUmmieland coping? Let's find out, shall we? To do so, we go to this
THREAD by DUmmie Leftist Agitator, "Is anyone else enormously stressed out right now?"

(BTW, the person in the photo above is *not* DUmmie Leftist Agititaor, who I think is a guy. That is prog blogger Maryscott O'Connor, aka Maryscott O'Crazed, our poster child for a stressed-out leftie.)

The DUmmie rantings are in Stroke-Out Red, while the calm, cool, and collected commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, as mellow as a Mantovani music marathon, is in the [brackets]:

Is anyone else enormously stressed out right now?

[NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

I have a Managerial Econ final tomorrow, another final on Thursday, and a hour long presentation and yet another exam on Friday.

[I would say being a woman or a Christian in a Muslim nation would be stressful. Being a drug enforcement agent in northern Mexico would be stressful. Bomb disposal specialist--also stressful. But for DUmmie Leftist Agitator, going to school and taking a few tests--yes, that must top them all!]

I have my 10 year high school reunion Saturday, which means bunking at Dad's for the weekend (ugh!).

[Does Dad snore? Or worse, is he a Rethuglican?]

On top of all that, I keep seeing the signs of absolute systemic collapse of our economy in the very near future.

[Let's see . . . absolute systemic collapse of our economy . . . or staying at Dad's for the weekend? Which is more stressful? Tough call.]

what with the cries of "Ve Must Have Ze Fiscal Austerity!" from the investing class, it's clear that the market is going to have to create jobs. . . .

[What a novel concept!]

Oh, and I'm still deaf.

[And DUmb.]

Anyway, I feel like I'm going f***ing nuts from all of the stress.

[Oh, I don't think it's from the stress.]

And irony of ironies, my presentation on Friday is on Stress Management.

[Calgon, take me away!]

Anyone else have an enormous amount of stress in their life? Are you worried about your job, keeping your home, your health? Let it out. This is the only thing that I could think of to blow off some steam. Maybe it would help you to unburden yourself too, hypothetical DUer.

[Hiya, cousin. . . . You say you're going to your ten-year high school reunion, and you're embarrassed, because your mom still has to drive you? You say you have nightmares of Li'l Beaver eating his way through your empty pizza boxes so he can get to your toes? And your girlfriend threw you over for her probation officer, and she's a girl? And you tried out for the Jerry Springer Show and were turned down for being too weird? Is that's what's bothering you, bunkie? . . .
WELL, LIFT YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND TAKE A WALK IN THE SUN WITH THAT DIGNITY AND STICK-TO-IT-IVENESS THAT YOU'LL SHOW THE WORLD, YOU'LL SHOW THEM WHERE TO GET OFF, YOU'LL NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE UP . . . THE SHIP!
Now this is the Old Philosopher saying . . . Let's hear from the other DUmmies . . .]

Yes, had some bad news today which just adds to the ongoing stress level. . . .

[My Domino's coupon expired.]

Yes!...and just heard from someone else who has heard of two others with Big Stress too!

[I heard of someone who heard of someone else who heard from someone who knows somebody with Really Big Stress! It's frightening!]

I wish I had some magic words for you. . . .

["But I'm the magic man." --Will Pitt]

Yes, everyone is stressed, sad, confused and hopeless.

[Change we can believe in. The Obama Miracle.]

Sorry you are having a rough week, Leftist Agitator. Just remember, "this too shall pass".

[Except for your exams.]

letting off steam can be a very positive thing.

[Algore reflects on his chakra release.]

I'm feeling the stress right now . . . I have until Friday to come up with $600 for rent.

[Mom won't budge, huh?]

I've been averaging about 3 hours a sleep per night.

[Will Pitt hasn't slept since April 2005.]

I vacillate between frustration, anxiety, and apathy on an hourly basis.

[Go with apathy. It's less stressful.]

After an off-and-on decade in Academia, I know more about the arcane regulations governing Federal Financial Aid than most Financial Aid University staff. My Financial Aid department learned about that first hand when they tried to deny me loans because of prior transgressions.

[So, DUmmie Leftist Agitator, Mr. & Mrs. John Q. Taxpayer are paying for you to spend your life taking tests and whining about it on the internets. Lovely.]

My last job working for a state university was the worst job I have ever had.

[I actually had to WORK!]

I'm trying to keep my humor, but it gets harder everyday.

[Then come and read the DUmmie FUnnies!]

Small joys are the greatest joys. . . .

[The benburch motto.]

somehow was able to swing a weekend getaway at a cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains. . . . seeing the abundant wildlife, having the White Tail Deer visit the cabin. . . .

[Stop, ben, stop!]

Powerful sh*t. And very true.

[Things To Do Today:
1. Sing with all the voices of the mountain.
2. Paint with all the colors of the wind.]

I feel like a fool. . . . I'm an idiot.

[Self-realization is the first step to wholeness.]

I'm so stressed out all I can do is ride my bike to kill the stress, and then sleep and ignore my problems.

[Putting the pedal to the bed'll make the problems go away!]

It's REAL hard to live in Cupcake Land around a bunch of oh so very self righteous and comfortable members of "The Great Generation" with churches on EVERY corner the measure of all things cupcake. . . .

[DUmmieland declares war on Cupcake Land!]

I'm having panic attacks. Usually in the morning. I just cram them down, so they are short, but they just come back. I MUST start exercising again!



have you tried Tai Chi?

[Have you tried Chai Tea?]

I'd hate to see what I'm blowing on the BP cuff!

[Oil?]

I think we should all go dancing or something. . . .

[Dancing with Bizarres.]

Depending on son(30) who has his diploma and is living at home--working as a barrista half time. . . .

[I bet he has a nose ring, yes?]

One word - marijuana

[Keep dope alive!]

We handle incoming calls and if you are not logged into THE F***ING PHONES we can't get those calls. I was seconds away from asking "WHO DO I HAVE TO BLOW TO GET YOU @$$HOLES TO LOG INTO YOUR F***ING PHONES!!!" Instead, I came home and had a strong cocktail and smoked a bowl and now I feel better. . . .

[Meanwhile, the phone calls are still not getting answered. Now we know why we sit on hold for so long when we call tech support. Thanx.]

Can we make this a regular thing? Like a forum or something? Mods?

[Meds?]

And now, I'm off to go fail an Economics final!

[Go get 'em, Leftist Agitator! Don't worry, though. You can just keep failing tests, and we'll keep subsidizing your endless education, and on and on it goes! It's the DUmmie Way! And, oh, have fun at your reunion! Make up a good story to impress all your classmates, and have Mom drop you off a block away so they don't recognize her. Then, when you get home, smoke a joint and catch about 14 hours of Z's! Life is good!]

26 Comments:

Anonymous krazy kat said...

The DUmmies' stress levels rise as the reality of little hope and disastrous change emerges and there's no Bushler around to blame.

But DUmmie "Trajan" (the Roman emperor, I assume) sees a solution to economic malaise:

"Boost wages at the expense of profits. What is absent form the economy is GOOD wages...that is REAL stimulous we need."

(A DUmmie admits that the stimulous money was wasted. But then "Trajan" loses his cool, as stress takes over.)

"Pay us some fucking money, and you'll get your fucking profits...Greedy fucks..."

It's so simple, give everyone a $100 a week raise, the economy will rebound and everyone will benefit, even the greedy fucks.

2:08 PM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

"The state of Missouri (where I live) just gave a big Prop C thumbs-down to Obamacare."

PJ, that wasn't a "thumbs down", that was a swift kicks in Obama's little 'nads.

71% reject the abomination that is O!bamacare.

It is starting to look more and more like Teapocalypse coming for the democrat party.

3:28 PM  
Anonymous Foxx said...

I'll have more mint with my Teapocalypse, please. :D

4:07 PM  
Anonymous 98ZJUSMC said...

It's funny....kind of.

These dipshits seem to know what the problems are, but can't bring themselves to admit that their entire canton is....

WRONG!

I guess they stop seeing the problems when they feel the pressure building and their heads are about to explode.

11:16 PM  
Anonymous 98ZJUSMC said...

Apologies. That should have read "entire canon"

Fixed.

11:19 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"The Democrats are looking at a nightmare in November" PJ

You stupid jackasses are always wrong about everything.

Let's check in after election day.

And don't forget...you got the super-duper remote control Fox blocker wrong. You got Operation Chaos wrong. You got finance wrong. You got 'going to war' wrong. You got the riots in Denver wrong. You got TARP wrong. You got immigration wrong. (etc)

Every chimp...every bovine...every parsnip...every dung beetle..every dandelion, already knows you don't have a fucking clue. You have nothing. That fact alone may have something to do with the November outcome, don't you think?

This is a big problem for you dimwits. Until you can offer up a smart alternative, you're screwed. You may not have figured that out yet.

It's obviously a difficult concept. Let's start here:
All your ideas, ALL your views and ALL your policies are horseshit. Why? BECAUSE NONE OF IT WORKED! Start the fuck over.

It doesn't take a brilliant leap of genius to understand this. It's simple really- you're all totally full of it.

A black man got elected president a year and a half ago. Do none of you remember that not one of you thought it would happen? Not one?

But it did. And you were wrong again.

You're ALWAYS wrong. About everything. And you're wrong about a Democrat "nightmare" in November. Simple as that. These tea-baggers are going to bite your ass hard...and you'll like it, you perverts. You already do.

3:28 AM  
Anonymous Corona said...

Stress much? Do you have 'call waiting' or was that a vein?

9:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nothing like having a positive attitude heading off for that final exam DUmmie. I bet if you passed you'd be miserable.

9:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Yes, everyone is stressed, sad, confused and hopeless."

Welcome to the Dem party! Enjoy your stay.

1:04 PM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

You sound a little desperate troglaman, pretending that your crowd hasn't screwed the pooch.

This November it's Republican fuck-ups vs. Democrat fuck-ups. Neither party has ideas that work but Democrat ideas are more damaging to the economy and the body politic; so I suspect the Rethugs will pick up seats in Congress. Not enough, however, to gain control of either the House or Senate, thereby condemning us to two more years of fiscal insanity, business crippling bureaucratic mandates and high unemployment.

1:58 PM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

"troglaman said...
"The Democrats are looking at a nightmare in November" PJ

You stupid jackasses are always wrong about everything."

This, ladies and gentlemen, is what is known as "whistling pst the graveyard".

LOL!

"You got Operation Chaos wrong."

How so, moron?

"You got finance wrong."

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!

Oh, sweet Cthulu on a hamburger bun, you are one stupid motherfucker, aren't you?

"You got 'going to war' wrong."

We've won in Iran. We'll win in Afghanistan.

Proof, yet again that you are one stupi....

"You got the riots in Denver wrong. You got TARP wrong. You got immigration wrong. (etc)"

Well, if you say so moron. Whatevs....

" ...you don't have a fucking clue."

DING DING DING DING DING! The barking moonbat gets something right! trogletoll doesn't have a fucking clue.

Good job, moonbat, good job.

"All your ideas, ALL your views and ALL your policies are horseshit. Why? BECAUSE NONE OF IT WORKED! Start the fuck over."

Says the reactionary fascist.

OH TEH IRONY SHE BURNS SHE BURNS!!!!!!

Take one example: President Reagan's supply side tax cuts set off a 30 year explosion of economic growth in this country.

Oilbama wants to raise taxes. Guess which choice is going to thow the US into a double dip recession, and if we are really lucky, and if not straight into another depression?

You get three guesses, and if we know you, moron, you'll get the answer wrong wrong wrong.

"A black man got elected president a year and a half ago."

[yawn]

That's all you got?

" Do none of you remember that not one of you thought it would happen? Not one?"

Ummmmmmmmmm.........

No.

"You're ALWAYS wrong."

Only in your insane universe.

"About everything."

Only in your delusional little pumpkin head.

"And you're wrong about a Democrat "nightmare" in November"

Reality indicates otherwise, but you just keep on listening to the voices in your head.

"These tea-baggers are going to bite your ass hard..."

Better to be a teabagger than a teabagee, like you moron.

"...and you'll like it, you perverts."

Sorry, that's another Democrat constituancy. Along with the racists, the reactionary left fascists, the thug unions and the blood-sucking tort lawyers.

Oh, and the insane.

Like you.

3:25 PM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

"A black man got elected president...Do none of you remember that not one of you thought it would happen? Not one?"

Incorrectamundo. I, Elrond Hubbard, stated in October of 2008 that Obama would win.

"Let's check in after election day."

I'd wait a little longer, it takes time for for the Donks to steal an election.

6:00 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

I think cold hard reality is starting to sink in for Troglaman The Guttersnipe.

Guttersnipe I think is starting to realize that the hold he and fellows Moonbats have on the Federal Government is about to be unceremoniously ripped away by a totally enraged electorate that has taken an exceedingly dim view of the work Troglaman and his clones have done to try to destroy not just the economy but the very fabric of the nation.

And based off that rant, Guttersnipe did the only thing he's capable of doing when faced with reality - repeatedly power-slam his head up his rant and rant like the hate crazed jackass he is.

Thanks for showing a preview of how you'll act after Election Day, Guttersnipe. I knew you'd never be able to face reality like a man - you just don't have it in you.

8:46 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"...but Democrat ideas are more damaging to the economy..." elrond

Why do you say that? The Dems have been bailing your sorry asses out of deficits for decades. Go back to Reagan and look at deficits. I dare you.

Democrat ideas, before being judged as bullshit, should be compared and contrasted with Republican ideas.

Oh. I forgot. You don't have any.

What seems to elude you stupid mules is that having no alternative makes it easier to compare and contrast with those people who DO.

And what's crystal clear is that you don't want to do ANY shit other than the shit you're YOU'RE ALREADY DOING. If one of you had an idea, if one of you had an alternative then OK, we'd be talking about it. But we're not taking about it because YOU DON'T HAVE SHIT...you just bitch and bitch and bitch.

Despite my inner homo, my inner lezbo and my inner grand-ma, you stupid simians are STILL bigger pussies than me. Mind-boggling.

On a completely unrelated note...how many of you cry out "Stop squeezing the squeaky toy RIGHT NOW!" at 3:00 a.m. every night?

It's not what you think... unfortunately.

11:48 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"...is about to be unceremoniously ripped away by a totally enraged electorate"..."his clones have done to try to destroy not just the economy but the very fabric of the nation"..."the only thing he's capable of doing when faced with reality - repeatedly power-slam his head up his rant and rant like the hate crazed jackass he is..." jumpin jerry

Once again, jerry, YOU are sounding like the hate-filled jackass.

A few pointers, if I, troglaman, may...while accusing someone of being a "hate crazed jackass", don't mention power-slamming his head up his ass...it sounds...hateful. And when you use words like "enraged" and "destroy", etc., you're not sounding like someone loves people, you're sounding JUST like someone who hates people...and you don't seem to have a clue. Spooky. But even though YOU say it, it's me, troglaman, who the hateful motherfucker.

I'm one hundred percent sure I'm not the first one to understand this about you.

So you can get off this "hate-filled" masturbatory bullshit or not. It's up to you.

Why don't you tell me why anyone would be a RepubliDUm. Do yourself a favor and explain it. Why would anyone subscribe to all the bullshit that got us here in the first place? Name one policy, one original idea, one alternative to the status quo.

I doubt you can do it. All you'll come up with is what a hate-filled cocksucker I, troglaman, am. That's all you ever come up with. You're incapable of anything else than accusing others of what and who YOU are.

Like I said, you've been told ALL this before. You obviously aren't listening.

12:50 AM  
Anonymous Foxx said...

Oh the sweet, sweet, joy of troggie going into melt down. Keep it up, dear troggie, keep it up. :D

9:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"That is prog blogger Maryscott O'Connor, aka Maryscott O'Crazed, our poster child for a stressed-out leftie.)" -Charles

That's a real person! I thought it was a stock photo from The Onion!

10:12 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

On August 10, 2010 at 12:50AM on the DUmmie FUnnies Blog Site, TROGLAMAN - the Official Hate-Mongering Anti-American Guttersnipe of the DUmmie FUnnies Blog Site, repeatedly power-slammed his head up his ass and unleashed yet another boring hateful Everclear-fueled hissy fit.

You know Foxx, you have a point...it is interesting to watch Guttersnipe get so confused by the reality he can neither accept nor understand that the only option he has left is to howl like a banshee.

12:51 PM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

"troglaman said...
"...but Democrat ideas are more damaging to the economy..." elrond

Why do you say that?"

Because reactionary leftist ideas ALWAYS fuck up the economy.

See Union, Soviet

2:48 PM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

"Democrat ideas, before being judged as bullshit, should be compared and contrasted with Republican ideas."

Ronald Reagan, enourmous cuts in the arginal tax rate, 30 years of economic expansion.

Oilbama raises taxes, double dip recession, if we don't spin off all the way into a full blown depression.

Good enough, moron?

2:51 PM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

"A few pointers, if I, troglaman, may...while accusing someone of being a "hate crazed jackass", don't mention power-slamming his head up his ass..."

Why not? It's your favorite passtime on this forum.

2:52 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Because reactionary leftist ideas ALWAYS fuck up the economy. See Union, Soviet" literery laz

You're such a fucking dumbshit. Are you saying the collapse in '08 was due to Marx/Lenin/Stalin activists secretly manipulating our American capitalistic system into the failed Soviet economic model?...and THAT'S why everything went to hell?

Yes you are!!!

Visiting this place is like wandering around a goddamn psych ward. Really. It is.

1:30 AM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

"Are you saying the collapse in '08 was due to Marx/Lenin/Stalin activists secretly manipulating our American capitalistic system into the failed Soviet economic model?"

Ummmmmm......

No, I'm not.

You miss a lot, don't you, fascist?

9:14 AM  
Anonymous Tonto's Expanding Headband said...

Yes, the Democrats have plenty of ideas and the power to put them into action. Sadly, these ideas are destructive. As we get deeper into total Democrat rule we get deeper into unemployement, deeper into taxes, deeper into bureaucratic misrule and deeper and deeper into debt.

The ideas we need to put into action are essentially anti-Democrat program ideas: less spending, less taxation, fewer bureaucrats, fewer mind numbed troglamanic robots. Basically, anything passed by the Democrats since January of 2009 should be reversed.

12:53 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Ummmmmm......No, I'm not." leterery laz

Ummmm...yes you are. Know what? If one compared you to a dozen mollusks?...the mollusks would look like frickin Mensa.

12:36 AM  
Anonymous BigLarry said...

Whitetail deer are found across the North American region, at 29 million strong, including where cities are expanding. These areas intrude on what was once the whitetails domain. As deer become more and more exposed to this humane society, they become less afraid of humans. In these areas you can find deer walking right up to you, not spooked one bit, and coming into your yard to find whatever morsel of food they can find.

7:29 PM  

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