"Is anyone else enormously stressed out right now?"
These are stressful times for the DUmmies. Obambi's approval ratings are going down the DUmper. The state of Missouri (where I live) just gave a big Prop C thumbs-down to Obamacare. The Democrats are looking at a nightmare in November. Stressful times indeed.
So how are our little friends in DUmmieland coping? Let's find out, shall we? To do so, we go to this THREAD by DUmmie Leftist Agitator, "Is anyone else enormously stressed out right now?"
(BTW, the person in the photo above is *not* DUmmie Leftist Agititaor, who I think is a guy. That is prog blogger Maryscott O'Connor, aka Maryscott O'Crazed, our poster child for a stressed-out leftie.)
The DUmmie rantings are in Stroke-Out Red, while the calm, cool, and collected commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, as mellow as a Mantovani music marathon, is in the [brackets]:
Is anyone else enormously stressed out right now?
I have a Managerial Econ final tomorrow, another final on Thursday, and a hour long presentation and yet another exam on Friday.
[I would say being a woman or a Christian in a Muslim nation would be stressful. Being a drug enforcement agent in northern Mexico would be stressful. Bomb disposal specialist--also stressful. But for DUmmie Leftist Agitator, going to school and taking a few tests--yes, that must top them all!]
I have my 10 year high school reunion Saturday, which means bunking at Dad's for the weekend (ugh!).
[Does Dad snore? Or worse, is he a Rethuglican?]
On top of all that, I keep seeing the signs of absolute systemic collapse of our economy in the very near future.
[Let's see . . . absolute systemic collapse of our economy . . . or staying at Dad's for the weekend? Which is more stressful? Tough call.]
what with the cries of "Ve Must Have Ze Fiscal Austerity!" from the investing class, it's clear that the market is going to have to create jobs. . . .
[What a novel concept!]
Oh, and I'm still deaf.
Anyway, I feel like I'm going f***ing nuts from all of the stress.
[Oh, I don't think it's from the stress.]
And irony of ironies, my presentation on Friday is on Stress Management.
[Calgon, take me away!]
Anyone else have an enormous amount of stress in their life? Are you worried about your job, keeping your home, your health? Let it out. This is the only thing that I could think of to blow off some steam. Maybe it would help you to unburden yourself too, hypothetical DUer.
[Hiya, cousin. . . . You say you're going to your ten-year high school reunion, and you're embarrassed, because your mom still has to drive you? You say you have nightmares of Li'l Beaver eating his way through your empty pizza boxes so he can get to your toes? And your girlfriend threw you over for her probation officer, and she's a girl? And you tried out for the Jerry Springer Show and were turned down for being too weird? Is that's what's bothering you, bunkie? . . .
WELL, LIFT YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND TAKE A WALK IN THE SUN WITH THAT DIGNITY AND STICK-TO-IT-IVENESS THAT YOU'LL SHOW THE WORLD, YOU'LL SHOW THEM WHERE TO GET OFF, YOU'LL NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE UP . . . THE SHIP!
Now this is the Old Philosopher saying . . . Let's hear from the other DUmmies . . .]
Yes, had some bad news today which just adds to the ongoing stress level. . . .
[My Domino's coupon expired.]
Yes!...and just heard from someone else who has heard of two others with Big Stress too!
[I heard of someone who heard of someone else who heard from someone who knows somebody with Really Big Stress! It's frightening!]
I wish I had some magic words for you. . . .
["But I'm the magic man." --Will Pitt]
Yes, everyone is stressed, sad, confused and hopeless.
[Change we can believe in. The Obama Miracle.]
Sorry you are having a rough week, Leftist Agitator. Just remember, "this too shall pass".
[Except for your exams.]
letting off steam can be a very positive thing.
[Algore reflects on his chakra release.]
I'm feeling the stress right now . . . I have until Friday to come up with $600 for rent.
[Mom won't budge, huh?]
I've been averaging about 3 hours a sleep per night.
[Will Pitt hasn't slept since April 2005.]
I vacillate between frustration, anxiety, and apathy on an hourly basis.
[Go with apathy. It's less stressful.]
After an off-and-on decade in Academia, I know more about the arcane regulations governing Federal Financial Aid than most Financial Aid University staff. My Financial Aid department learned about that first hand when they tried to deny me loans because of prior transgressions.
[So, DUmmie Leftist Agitator, Mr. & Mrs. John Q. Taxpayer are paying for you to spend your life taking tests and whining about it on the internets. Lovely.]
My last job working for a state university was the worst job I have ever had.
[I actually had to WORK!]
I'm trying to keep my humor, but it gets harder everyday.
[Then come and read the DUmmie FUnnies!]
Small joys are the greatest joys. . . .
[The benburch motto.]
somehow was able to swing a weekend getaway at a cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains. . . . seeing the abundant wildlife, having the White Tail Deer visit the cabin. . . .
[Stop, ben, stop!]
Powerful sh*t. And very true.
[Things To Do Today:
1. Sing with all the voices of the mountain.
2. Paint with all the colors of the wind.]
I feel like a fool. . . . I'm an idiot.
[Self-realization is the first step to wholeness.]
I'm so stressed out all I can do is ride my bike to kill the stress, and then sleep and ignore my problems.
[Putting the pedal to the bed'll make the problems go away!]
It's REAL hard to live in Cupcake Land around a bunch of oh so very self righteous and comfortable members of "The Great Generation" with churches on EVERY corner the measure of all things cupcake. . . .
[DUmmieland declares war on Cupcake Land!]
I'm having panic attacks. Usually in the morning. I just cram them down, so they are short, but they just come back. I MUST start exercising again!
have you tried Tai Chi?
[Have you tried Chai Tea?]
I'd hate to see what I'm blowing on the BP cuff!
I think we should all go dancing or something. . . .
[Dancing with Bizarres.]
Depending on son(30) who has his diploma and is living at home--working as a barrista half time. . . .
[I bet he has a nose ring, yes?]
One word - marijuana
[Keep dope alive!]
We handle incoming calls and if you are not logged into THE F***ING PHONES we can't get those calls. I was seconds away from asking "WHO DO I HAVE TO BLOW TO GET YOU @$$HOLES TO LOG INTO YOUR F***ING PHONES!!!" Instead, I came home and had a strong cocktail and smoked a bowl and now I feel better. . . .
[Meanwhile, the phone calls are still not getting answered. Now we know why we sit on hold for so long when we call tech support. Thanx.]
Can we make this a regular thing? Like a forum or something? Mods?
And now, I'm off to go fail an Economics final!
[Go get 'em, Leftist Agitator! Don't worry, though. You can just keep failing tests, and we'll keep subsidizing your endless education, and on and on it goes! It's the DUmmie Way! And, oh, have fun at your reunion! Make up a good story to impress all your classmates, and have Mom drop you off a block away so they don't recognize her. Then, when you get home, smoke a joint and catch about 14 hours of Z's! Life is good!]