Saturday, January 31, 2009

Obama has dropped the ball, bigtime on the Stimulus

Well, there he goes again. I am paraphrasing Ronald Regan's famous quip to Jimmy Carter not to reflect a conservative's disdain to a liberal, but a liberal's disdain to another liberal. Perhaps "oops he did it again" would be a better opening to lampoon this DUmmie THREAD entitled "Obama has dropped the ball, bigtime on the Stimulus."

We will now proceed immediately to riffing the DUmmies as they gnaw at their Chosen One and at each other in Bolshevik red, while the comments of your humble guest host, Paul Heinzman, is in the [brackets].

We've got DUmmie sign!

Obama has dropped the ball, bigtime on the Stimulus

[Hillary, has only got one ball;
Emanuel, has two quite small;
Vilsack, has got a nut-sack;
But poor Obama, has no balls, at all]

Team Obama has allowed the GOP and media to frame the debate on the Stimulus package. The republicans send wave after wave of people to tv, radio, and print, and Obama is allowing this to happen.

[That First Amendment is about a bitch, ain't it?]

Obama needs to personally address the American public about the stimulus package and beat back the idiotic republican memes.

[He just got done addressing the Muslim public. Give him time--I'm sure he'll get around to the American public.]

He needs to understand that republicans will not vote for the package unless either: a) it has absurd amounts of tax cuts, or b) republicans receive a lot of pressure from their constituents.

[He needs to learn politics right away? It's only his second week as President of The United States of America. His apprenticeship isn't finished yet.]

Obama needs to encourage people to contact their congressman and senators to make them vote for the package.

[You get a usage "atta boy" for keeping congressman singular while making senator plural, but your choice of congressman over congressperson is earns a PC "oh shit" for sexism. And anyone who has a job will tell you that one "oh shit" erases a hundred "atta boy's."]

There are a whole host of GOP congress critters that live in districts that went for Obama. Why isn't Obama using this?

[Because he doesn't have a clue about what he is doing. Now let's move on to the DUmmie feeding frenzy.]

Apply strict regulation and let the markets work.

[That is the stupidest sentence I've ever read.]

it was government spending that got us out of the Great Depression.

[It wasn't.]

WW2 just accelerated the government's spending and created millions of jobs.

[PRODUCTIVE jobs. Life was still hard in the US during those years. Prosperity didn't come until after World War Two when the war bonds began to pay off and we began to reinvest in innovation and infrastructure. Sending those soldiers who had actually proved that they could finish what they started to college helped a lot.]

Now, had we used the Clinton surpluses to pay off our national debt, then we could easily afford to through trillions at the problem to make it go away.

[The Clinton "surpluses" were as ethereal as your stock portfolio. Did you really think that was folding money? It began evaporating in March of 2000.]

Instead of war spending stimulating the economy I see re-renewable energy spending as the way forward.

[The only re-renewable energy source I know of is breeder reactors.]

And FDR was a socialist too?

[He flirted, he danced, he let it get to second base. Obama will be fixing it breakfast.]

yet another Obama f---ed up thread

[Obama is going to put the "F" in DUmmie FUnnies for the next four years.]

Only to be proven wrong later.

[Only time will tell.]

The Republicans just look petulant and ineffective.

[Only the ones that are really Democrats.]

This may turn out to be very satisfying. A poker play and hoopster.

[Thought the drunken sorority the night before she walked home crying.]

This is a huge gamble for republicans, and one that probably won't work.

[When the stimulus fails Keynes will be proved wrong again. The Democrats are betting on the hard eight.]

Obama knows they're in the minority, and I think some people here forget that from day to day.

[Sarah Palin will be reminding America of that fact in four years.]

I think Obama knows what he's doing. But maybe that's just me.

[Sadly, it's not just you.]

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Thursday, January 29, 2009

"Mary Matalin has overheard daily calls with Rahm, Carville, Begala, and Stephanopoulos"

Rush Limbaugh was talking about this yesterday. Rahm Emanuel, James Carville, Paul Begala, and George Stephanopoulos all get together each morning for a conference call for a high level bull session. What's wrong with this picture? For the DUmmies what is wrong with this picture is they suspect that Mary Matalin is listening in as you can see in this THREAD titled, ""Mary Matalin has overheard daily calls with Rahm, Carville, Begala, and Stephanopoulos." Hee! Hee! I'm picturing a Civil War female spy overhearing high level conversations and then crossing over enemy lines to deliver the information to the other side. So let us now watch the DUmmies get all paranoid about White House information leaking out in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering when Mary will come up with an offer for a DUmmie FUnnies book deal (with CD ROM attached), is in the [brackets]:

Mary Matalin has overheard daily calls with Rahm, Carville, Begala, and Stephanopoulos

[Great inside information which resulted in NO Republicans voting for Obama's stimulus package. Thanx, Mary!!!]

Raise your hand if you can tell me what is wrong with that picture?

[I find something wrong with Rahm attempting to formulate media strategy with members of the media but I can live with that if it means that info is leaked to our side via Mary.]

It may have been fun through the years for the junior boy's club to have its daily calls, but now that Rahm is chief of staff it is just worrisome.

[Everything said by Rahm is recorded by Mary with a stethoscope against the wall. Hee! Hee!]

Sometimes when you get to a place of high power you have to give up your fun phone calls.

[Too much of a sacrifice!]

It does sound like a bunch of good friends chatting daily. Except now one of those good friends has the ear of the new president and is by his side daily.

[Giving us great insight as to his strategy. That phony call for "bipartisanship" on the stimulus package sure didn't work out.]

If those calls are still going on, they should NOT be done with her in proximity. They should not be done with a news anchor on the call. Especially not one who wrote a book about Bill Clinton in 1999 called All Too Human.

[Careful! Mary Matalin's ear is up against the door and she is writing everything down on her notepad. And now on to more entertaining DUmmie paranoia...]

Rahm needs to be very careful here. She would make it her business to be slinking around behind closed doors or whatever else to hear these conversations.

[And that phone tap is also very helpful.]

Wonder how many of those calls have been tapped

[Let's see... Obama has been in office for nine days so my guess is 8 times because inauguration day morning doesn't count.]

Steph had a boycrush on Bill and never got over it

[Was it as strong as Reno's girlcrush on Hillary?]

Mata Hari of the bush white house. direct pipeline. very troubling. is this how that bunch of dumbasses have stayed a step ahead of the smarter dems these last few years? can imanuel really keep doing this as chief of staff?

[Mata-lin Mary.]

Has anyone ever tested James Carville for neurosyphyllis?

[It will be scheduled right after his test for neurogonorrhea.]

Gaaah! Someone make Carville go away!

[Abra Cadabra!]

Cut Carville out of the loop -- Skeletor is a cancerous tumor.
He and his trashy wife can go disappear somewhere.

[How about to South Florida? I need a lot of private time with Mary to make my DUmmie FUnnies book pitch.]

Matalin should not be hearing those calls at all. She is so tied to the right wing, that there should be nothing at all said in front of her by any Democrat.

[Too late. We already know all about plans to re-institute the "Hush Rush" Fairness Doctrine via stealth legislation.]

I did not know about the daily calls with Rahm. It matters now that he is CoS and has Obama's ear.

[How else do you think Rush had a heads up on Obama's phony "bipartisanship" policy over his stimulus package. Result: NO Republican votes for it. Thank you, Mary!]

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

My, what a sweeping shift . . . in DUmmieland!!!!

The DUmmies don't know what to do with themselves. Bush is gone. Cheney's gone. Rove is gone (if one can say that Rove is ever REALLY gone). The Democrats hold all the reins of power. So the DUmmies don't know what to do with themselves! (But then, President Barack "Above my pay grade" Obambi doesn't know what to do with himself, either, so it's a good match.) The DUmmies know only one mode: whine, complain, and attack. The only thing is, right now they're not sure what to whine about or whom to attack! So this is an uncertain, transitional time in our little DUmmie Ant Farm, as we can see in this THREAD, "My what a sweeping shift this board has taken in ideology this past year!!!!" The confused, shift-headed comments of the DUmmies are in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, at a retreat about a mile or two away from Blago's trial but not able to follow it, is in the [brackets]:

My what a sweeping shift this board has taken in ideology this past year!!!!

[Shift happens.]

It's interesting to see some new posters here with a bit of a rightward view and some older posters becoming more radicalized or moving a little leftward. Seems like a lot of jumbling about.

[It's a jumble out there!]

One thing I am seeing that is interesting is that with Bush out of office it looks like some new battle lines are being drawn.

[Gotta channel that BDS somewhere!]

One thing is certain, without a real anti war movement or poor peoples movement Obama is going to have a tough time fulfilling all his campaign promises.

[Without a MAGIC WAND, Obama was going to have a tough time fulfilling all those promises!]

Who here will become radicalized in the coming months or years?


I honestly find myself moving to the left in the past year. . . .

[That's like a negative number becoming even more negative. It's like Minneapolis in January having a cold wave. It's like the Detroit Lions getting worse. IOW, one doesn't think it possible to move even further in that direction.]

I haven't seen this "shift" in ideology this past year...... Could you provide some examples?

How about the overwhelming outright homophobia Rampant in DU these days?

[Not getting all worked up about Rick Warren giving a meaningless invocation at Obambi's inauguration--that is branded as "overwhelming outright homophobia."]

There was one camel's back-breaking straw of a post, in which was said, "Everything was fine until the gays went nuclear."

[I don't know that you want to talk about "breaking the back of a camel" in regard to the homosexuals.]

That sh*t was right in my face!

[That may not be the best expression to use in this context, either.]

My fuse is lit.

[Fire in the hole!]

Obama was a community organizer. . . .

[I'd like to see him try to organize the "reality-based" community!]

I think I've been fairly consistent in my desire for economic populism. . . .

I wonder what "economic populism" is?


To me, it means that since the US GDP per capita is $44,000, there is no legitimate reason for anyone to go without the necessities of life.


Further, our labor is the primary asset that most of us possess.

[Except for DUmmies. They don't do labor.]

I am willing to allow the O admin time.

[Two weeks! Then that's it!]

I think you have to mix direct action in with the ballot box.


most important thing for Obama, appoint SCOTUS justices that know and understand the constitution. . . .

[I don't think he wants to do THAT! That would mean overturning Roe v. Wade!]

I haven't noticed an ideological shift, but rather only that DUers are permanently stuck... in protest-mode.

[DING! DING! DING! You get the Kewpie Doll today!]

there are none so blind as those who will not see.

[Is that you, Caroline Kennedy?]

Hopefully, this site will stop being a glorified fansite for Obama and get back to respecting the ideas of liberalism.


We Won!

[Big whoop. Now you have to DO something with it.]

all that I care about is that the people with axes to grind or those incapable of critical thinking post less than others.

[The Axes of Evil.]

Some people around here have sold out just so "history" could be made. . . .

[Just so we could elect the First Biracial Empty-Suit President.]

All of us have one issue that can send us into an absolute ranting lunatic. . . .

[Namely, whatever issue is being discussed.]

I am personally somewhat taken aback by the keyboard warmongers I have seen on here lately. People who are chest thumping for Obama's surge into Afghanistan. wtf. I called them chickenhawks back in the Bush they are on here.. creepy as hell.

[Afghanistan, the new Iraq. Barry Obama's War. Chimpy McBama.]

Off the top of my head, I disagree with Obama on Afghanistan, healthcare insurance program, gay marriage, kowtowing to the GOP, and I'm apprehensive about many of his appointments.

[Off with OBAMA'S head!]

We face the possible end of the human species due to accelerating environmental deterioration, the world economy is in a shambles and we're totally broke, the greed on Wall Street is stunning.


Been a lefty for years. Still a lefty. No change here.

[Change We Can Be Left In.]

With Bush gone we'll see more divisions on DU than we had previously.

[WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! PLENTY of material for the DUmmie FUnnies for YEARS to come!!]

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

"What I learned about Rush Limbaugh"

It's really not complicated as to why Rush Limbaugh is so popular that he has the largest audience in talk radio history. However, DUmmie boobooday has come up with a complicated conspiratorial reason for Rush's success in his THREAD titled, "What I learned about Rush Limbaugh." And what DUmmie boobooday supposedly learned about Rush Limbaugh is completely laughable. It's all part and parcel of the Barack Obama attack on Rush. Think about it. The President of the United States is now completely obsessed about one talk radio host. Does anybody remember Bush obsessing over Chris Matthews or Keith Olbermann? Of course not because he ignored them and all the rest of the innumerable media critics. But not Obama. His obsession with Rush Limbaugh is matched by the DUmmies who now have several threads devoted to El Rushbo. So let us now watch the DUmmies provide their absurd theories about Limbaugh's success in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that just a year ago the media pundits were writing Rush off as "irrelevant," is in the [brackets]:

What I learned about Rush Limbaugh

[From your post, apparently nothing. However, please deliver your laugh lines.]

I was having a discussion with another DUer about Rush, and referred to him as a failure. It was pointed out to me that he was the highest-rated radio talk show host. Why is this? I did some research on it for an academic paper a few years ago and this is what I found.

[A DUmmie and rational thought shall never meet?]

Rush is a product of a vertically integrated media market. His initial radio stations were owned by ABC (if you want to go even deeper, look at Reagan's CIA Director, Casey, who owned Capitol Cities Communications, which bought ABC). Now he is syndicated on Clear Channel stations by a subsidiary of Clear Channel. They own every station, and have the power to make sure that there is little competition at his time slot.

[How long did it take you to memorize the phrase, "vertically integrated media market?" And that explains why millions listen to Rush? Because he was FORCED on us? And where did you submit your "academic paper? Randi Rhodes University?]

Who told us, early on, that Rush was a media sensation/phenomenon?

[The Arbitron ratings?]

ABC's Good Morning America
ABC's 20/20
The ABC Evening news

[Yeah, like ABC is a well known rightwing organization. Time to get off your meds.]

Who published his book? A publisher owned by ABC. Who told us his book was great? You guessed it. Who owned the magazines that told us Rush was a phenomenon? That's right.

[Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!

Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do!

Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?
We do! We do!

Who robs cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We do!]

He is a manufactured phenomenon. He has high ratings because he was plugged so relentlessly that those who agreed and those who disagreed had to check him out. He has no major corporate sponsors other than the Sleep Number Bed, and really never has. How can this be the case for the highest-rated talk show host?

[Yeah, Rush is really financially hurting in Palm Beach from lacking major sponsors. Strange that there is strong competition just to become a sponsor on his show. ]

This is the story of Rush Limbaugh, a sad, pathetic nobody sportscaster who grew into a sad, pathetic tool of corporate media.

[This is the story of DUmmie boobooday, a sad pathetic nobody who grew into a sad pathetic poster from his Mommy's basement.]

My research was done via Lexis Nexis academic. The paper I wrote won a prize in 2005 at the Broadcast Education Association.

[I just checked out the Broadcast Education Association and it consists of a conglomeration of college professors angry at the conservative politics of Rush Limbaugh plus the fact that he earns more in a month than they will in a lifetime. Here is their self description from their website:

For over 50 years, the Broadcast Education Association has served as the critical link between the college professors who teach tomorrow’s radio and television employees and the professionals working in the broadcasting industry.

And now on to the other clueless DUmmies...]

All reasons why it is impossible to get rid of the cockroach

[Of course, it has nothing to do with his popularity with the radio audience since he has been foisted upon us by a massive conspiracy.]

Cross promotion is one of the perks about being a gigantic media corporation. It's pretty anti-competitive as well.

[So that explains why Randi Rhodes isn't the top radio talk show host in the country.]

Yes, my paper was about the consolidation of radio. I called it "The Canary Died."

[You should have called it, "Rationality Died."]

now would be a good time to offer that paper to the NYT

[I thought the NYT didn't have a comics section.]

I didn't say anything about Rush and Obama. Rush is the mouthpiece of the corporate shills. I really don't think Obama is listening to Rush.

[But he is sure obsessing over Rush.]

I would LOVE to go toe-to-toe with Limbaugh and Coulter and Hannity and O'Reilly....we have keith Olbermann and Limp-brain I am also from Missouri....can't be a coincidence!!!

[Posted the suicidal DUmmie.]

Imagine if you had that kind of media machine behind you! We can see how well liberals do when they get a major platform. Imagine if Air America and/or one of its hosts had the same kind of marketing machine!

[I don't have to imagine. Before Air America even began airing they had a massive marketing machine called the Mainstream Media hyping it. And yet they still failed because of incredibly boring hosts like Al Franken.]

Was ABC pushing/promoting him when he was KFBK? He was big here is the Sacramento valley and I am unaware of any promotion other than simple word of mouth. KFBK was affiliated with ABC, but not owned by them.

[Quit asking inconvenient questions!]

That's Ed Schultz's point, that Rush is sustained by ownership, not ratings.

[The same Ed Shultz who, if offered just a small fraction of Rush's earnings, would switch to pretending to be a conservative in a heartbeat.]

I had an offer to publish the original paper in an academic journal (I presented it at a conference, and it was very well received) and like an idiot, I didn't follow up. Now would be a good time to pull it back out and make it ALL about Rush, and look for a publication people (besides academics) read.

[Try the same vanity publishing company that Pied Piper Pitt uses.]

I don't buy the claim that rush is popular because of some conspiracy. ABC and other big media players invest in and launch shows all the time and some succeed and some fail. If rush didn't appeal to a certain audience, he wouldn't have a show. But the sad fact is that he does have an audience -- there are a lot of rw'ers out there that eat up his crap.

[No, no! It MUST be a conspiracy! Perhaps we can implicate Karl Rove!]

I'm not saying Rush was a psyops from the beginning. I'm saying he's using powerful and sophisticated persuasion techniques to do the work of the military industrial complex. He puts out what he's given from the core of the vast right wing conspiracy.

[Karl Rove! No vast right wing conspiracy is complete unless it includes Karl Rove.]

The fun is trying to track down Rushbo's numbers. Today I heard he either had 6 million, 12 million or 20 million listeners (depending on the right wing hag bag talking). Now how do they come up with those numbers? Besides out of their ass? It's taking the POTENTIAL audience a station can attract...a cumulative number rather than quantitative. It's a number derived by the people who happen to tune into the station as opposed to those who are specifically tuning into his show. Thus because you're in the newspaper, it's assumed everyone in town reads about you...this same game is played in radio.

[So why is Obama so OBSESSED with Rush Limbaugh if his audience is really low? BTW, even a 6 million audience is something that Randi Rhodes could only dream about and in actual fact it is well over 20 million listeners.]

I'm one of many (I would like to think a number of people did) who wrote the WH last week to suggest that Limbaugh be taken off AFR because of his unpatriotic stance, i.e. wishing Obama and his administration to fail. Someone here on DU suggested we do that and I followed through.

[Have the DUmmies ever considered what the TROOPS want to hear on Armed Forces Radio? If it were ever put to a vote, Rush's show on AFR would be expanded from one to three hours per day.]

Monday, January 26, 2009

DUmmies Want Rush Limbaugh Removed From Armed Forces Radio

The DUmmies want Rush Limbaugh removed from Armed Forces Radio. Actually, they REALLY want Rush removed from the airwaves entirely but they are willing to start with Armed Forces Radio as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Why I think Rush Limbaugh should be removed from Armed Forces Radio..." It will be interesting to see what the Obama Administration will do. Right now Barack Obama is obsessed by one talk radio host. Talk about insecure! So it will be interesting to see if Obama follows DUmmie advice and remove El Rushbo from Armed Forces Radio with the bigger goal of getting him off all the airwaves via the "Fairness" Doctrine. Remember, liberals cannot abide public dissent. Despite the fact that they have the major TV networks and major newspapers in their pockets, the thought of Rush speaking to millions of dittoheads out there is something they find intolerable. So let us now watch the DUmmies screech for the removal of Rush from Armed Forces Radio in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if Gabriel Heater ever generated such outrage, is in the [brackets]:

Why I think Rush Limbaugh should be removed from Armed Forces Radio...

[Why your really think Rush Limbaugh should be removed from all the airwaves.]

Out of hundreds of long-format talks shows in this country, Limbaugh is currently one of four shows carried by Armed Forces Radio. That, by the way, was only the case for the last 4 years - for 10 years before that Rush had a monopoly on AFR.

[You want Randi Rhodes on Armed Forces Radio?]

His inclusion in the AFR lineup sends a clear message: Rush Limbaugh is part of the mainstream of political opinion. I don't think he is. I think he represents a tiny, shrinking minority of reactionary opinion.

[According to DUmmies, Randi Rhodes is in the mainstream of political opinion.]

The Abu Ghraib scandal? Rush thinks it was more like fraternity initiation pranks.

[Thought Crime!]

Torture at Guantanamo Bay? Rush started a Club Gitmo site complete with t-shirts. He proudly displays pictures of active duty soldiers wearing these t-shirts.

[Thought Crime!]

Now, I can understand Bush and Cheney keeping Rush on. They were the authors of the above policies and had an active interest in making it seem that these were mainstream American opinions. Bush had Limbaugh at the White House for several occasions. Cheney was a guest on Limbaugh’s program many, many times.

[If they were out of the mainstream of political , how did they get elected AND re-elected?]

But Obama is now trying to set a new tone and he clearly wants to assure the world that America will no longer tolerate torture. Having Limbaugh as one of four voices on Armed Forces Radio will make that job much, much harder.

[You want Obama to assure the DUmmies that he will no longer tolerate Rush. And now to the other DUmmies...]

Totally Agree with you but don't know how it can get done. Boycotting his advertisers hasn't worked - maybe he'll just "die off" (meaning becoming irrelevant and a joke), like what is happening to Bill O'Lielly, Hannity & Faux Noise in general.

[Too bad for your dopey argument that Fox News ratings are now higher than ever. Oh, and what happened to Randi Rhodes and the other Air America programs?]

They can keep him on - but insist that he have a liberal cohost who would call him on all his bullshit lies.

[Could Randi Rhodes stay sober enough to do all that?]

Republicans are petty, vindictive, partisan a-holes. I say shut him down. Why should our government support someone who wants the government to fail?

[The FUnniest thing about that statement is that this DUmmie is absolutely clueless about his self-irony.]

Plus, he's a traitor to this country's constitution and wants citizen's to give up their right to open and accountable government in favor of secrecy and privilege of the powerful elite.

[Let the Thought Crime trials begin!]

The whole purpose of Free Speech was to allow dissent and criticism of the Government by the people. Nothing could be more demonstrative of our freedom than a government run radio station broadcasting programming critical of that same government.


Bull shit. Limbaugh was cheerleader for the Bush Administration. During an Obama Administration things are different. You can't allow propagandist Rush Limbaugh to continue his attack on the CIC in the theater of operations. He has been on AFN for far too long. It has nothing to do with freedom of speach.

[Said the DUmmie denying reality.]

He can be taken off at the pleasure of the CIC. We won't need to rely on your reasoning, thank you. Limbaugh=gone!

[The CIC can also be a DIC (Dictator-In-Chief) in DUmmie minds.]

We don't need no stinkin' evidence. Limbaugh is gone! Now, go lick your wounds, your side lost. Obama won.

[Mr. Tolerance speaks out.]

Limbaugh is a threat to morale. His entire aim is to undermine support for the Commander In Chief. This cannot be allowed in the theater of operations. AFN is not the same as commercial radio.

[Thought Crimes must not be allowed!]

There is absolutely no reason why irrational hate mongering need be supported by Armed Forces Radio.

[This will also become the rationale for banning Rush from the airwaves in general. See it won't be defined as banning free speech, just as banning "hate speech" as defined by DUmmies.]

I am all in favor of a wide range of opinions, but that does not mean that Rush is a sacred cow. Removing his show and replacing it with another is not equivalent to government censorship.

[Another DUmmie in a Denial of Reality mode.]

Limbaugh is divisive. It interferes with the military mission if your soldiers don't trust each other. Worse, even, if they create social subsets from little tests of loyalty. Undermines everything.

[This DUmmie makes it sound like Rush supports an updated Operation Valkyrie.]

Who is financing the right-wing radio pundits? Someone is paying Limbaugh 400 million dollars. I doubt it's goodwill that's behind the effort.

[It couldn't possibly be that the huge popularity of Rush's show is generating tons of ad revenue, could it? It just has to be Karl Rove making those secret payments to Rush.]

Harsh, well-deserved criticism is one thing. Wishing FAILURE upon the Commander in Chief of the U.S. armed forces, and by implication the troops under his command, is quite another. It's no different than saying you wished FDR would fail (in his war against the Nazis or Japan or pulling the country out of the depression)--it implies the failure of him AND his troops/subordinates.

[Another DUmmie with absolutely no sense of self-irony. Failure on the part of Bush is something DUmmies have been ardently wishing for during the past 8 years. Anyone out there think the DUmmies were jubilant when the Iraq surge did NOT fail?]

He spreads doubt as to the legitimacy of the president and undermines military support for our policies. That's a serious problem.

[I remember when the DUmmies were praying for a military coup d'etat against the EVIL Bush regeime.]

Obama is commander in chief of the Armed Forces, and Limbaugh wants him to fail. He has therefore advocated the failure of the U.S. military and is a traitor.

[Under that reasoning ALL DUmmies could have been branded as traitors when Bush was president.]

Limbaugh gets only one hour a day. So does Ed Schultz. NPR gets 6 hours a day.

[GASP! Liberals get 7 hours per day on Armed Forces Radio while conservatives only get an hour? This is intolerable! Remove Rush from Armed Forces Radio!]

Comparing Limbaugh to NPR? Holy shit first of all, Limbaugh is a liar. Acually, he is worse. He is a radical propagandist. He gets away with it because he calls his show "entertainment" You are comparing lemonaid in the park to a brutal rape and murder in the park. Oh they have to be the same because both are in the park !!!

[A DUmmie spouts mindlessly when confronted with the harsh facts about Armed Forces Radio programming.]

i think he should be removed because... hes irrational , egotistical, and full of rage. all three combined tend to be a lil dangerous in my sense is that he would do and or say anything in an attempt to glorify himself to the people who actually like him. i keep waiting on him to flee to a compound in the woods somewhere, stock full of guns and ammo. the guy is on the edge of insanity, and drug abuse is only to keep it in check.

[Irrational, egotistical, and full of rage? It sounds like you are describing Randi Rhodes.]

I think AFR programming should reflect the troops' wishes. If they don't want Rush, then kick him off. If they do want him, so be it. We're going to legislate him off all the airways anyways, so it won't matter at all at that point.

[And this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies concludes with a DUmmie revealing their dirty little secret. Removal of Rush from Armed Forces Radio would only be a prelude to their ultimate goal...banning Rush from the airwaves via the "Fairness" Doctrine. Liberals will try to pretend that re-instituting the "Fairness" Doctrinehas nothing to do with Rush but among themselves it is ALL about banning Rush.]

Saturday, January 24, 2009

DUmmies Enraged Over Gillibrand Pick For U.S. Senate

I have to laugh at the choice Governor David Paterson made in appointing a senator to replace Hillary Clinton in the U.S. Senate. Everybody figured that if it wasn't going to be Caroline Kennedy then it would be some other standard liberal. Instead he picked someone who supports the NRA, voted against the bailout bill, and is one of only two Bluedog Democrats in the New York congressional delegation. Okay, by our sane standards Kirsten Gillibrand is still too much of a liberal but to the Democrats and the DUmmies what Paterson did was an act of treason which has them in an uproar and it is FUn to watch as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Confirmed: Kirsten Gillibrand Chosen to Fill Clinton's Senate Seat." Oh, and before we go further, I just must quote an astute OBSERVATION about Gillibrand which was QUOTED in The Village Voice among other places:

NewsBusters says the mainstream media's refusal to use their terminology is proof of bias. "When will the mainstream [media] begin labeling Gillibrand as a 'Maverick Democrat?'" they demand. "Or is the 'maverick' label applied by the MSM only to Republicans who are liberals or 'moderates' (really meaning liberal)?... If she holds to her views then she would definitely be qualified to be labeled as a 'Maverick Democrat' although the MSM, as we have seen, are loathe to use that term."

Notice how the DUmmies and the rest of the left get upset when a Democrat acts just the teeniest bit like a Maverick. They demand that all democrats march closely in lockstep and woe to any Democrat who diverges even slightly from the party line. So let us now watch the DUmmies get outraged over a Democrat Maverick in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who notes that Gillibrand will definitely be the hottest (blush!) member of the U.S. Senate, is in the [brackets]:

Confirmed: Kirsten Gillibrand Chosen to Fill Clinton's Senate Seat

[Caroline Kennedy is NOT amused.]

PIX11 News has learned Congresswoman Kirsten Gillibrand is the choice of Governor David Paterson to fill the U.S. Senate seat vacated by Hillary Clinton. Two Congressional sources tell PIX News that the Governor will make his announcement in Albany at noon tomorrow. He has invited members of the state's Democratic Congressional delegation to join him.

The sources told reporter Marvin Scott that the Governor has called members of the delegation for their views after Caroline Kennedy withdrew herself from consideration. One of the contenders, longterm Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney canceled a scheduled appearance on "PIX News Closeup" Friday because of a "conflict," which she did not disclose. She too will be in Albany. According to the sources, Gillibrand, now in her second congressional term, was favored by both Senator Churck Schumer and Secretary of State Clinton. Paterson has been under pressure to select a woman.

With most Democratic leaders in Albany coming from the New York City area, one source said this would be an important move for the Governor to have a Senator from upstate. And it is felt Gillibrand would be an asset to Paterson in any bid for election in 2010

[Stand by for the DUmmie fireworks.]

OMFG ... just watching Hardnards and she sounds like a nightmare. A blue dog sitting in Hillary's seat? Paterson can kiss his governorship goodbye -- NYers aren't going to stand for this.

[It's FUn to watch the NY Democrats to tear themselves apart!]

Will NYers re-elect such a blue dog STATEWIDE? I don't think so ... And what does this do for Paterson? NOTHING. He's never run for governor in his own right and now he's going to have to run for re-election after pissing off the liberals in the state. Is he back on coke or smoking something???? Makes no sense whatsoever, from any per-spective.

[Let Paterson keep smoking whatever he's smoking. I LOVE that he created a nightmare for the Democrats.]

This is a excellent choice and she supports the rights of gun owners!!!!


Idiotic choice, goodbye Paterson-lost my vote. We now will lose that house seat in 2010 and have basically a moderate Repuker as our Senator.

[It's all good!]

I miss Spitzer . . . and I'm in NJ

[Is that you Ashley Alexandra Dupre?]

Patterson strikes me as a dumbbell.

[Before you call somebody a dumbbell you might want to learn how to spell his name.]

If Maloney doesn't run in 2010, I hope Bobby Jr. gets in. This would never have happened if he hadn't withdrawn from consideration.

[That mellifluous voice of Bobby Jr. is sure to win over the voters.]

Piss poor choice... I did not like her much, and I fail to see the long term strategy here. Her Congressional seat will probably go repuKKKe now and if she decides to run for elction in two years, she is not going to make it... WTF was Paterson thinking????

[He was thinking that it would be FUn to piss you off.]

What's so great about her that's worth telling the activist base of the party to "pound sand and peddle it walking", as a banned poster once put it. That's the only possible message choosing her sends, that I can see. What's the upside of picking this person?

["Pound sand and peddle it walking?" Would that banned poster happen to be Ben Burch?]

IMO, they decided to pick someone beatable in 2010 as opposed to someone who could handily defend the seat. Basically, it will be a free for all next year.

[It's ALL good!!!]

**sigh** the second amendment...blah blah blah.. That just needs to be rewritten. That could make this whole "gun" thing go away.

[An inconvenient constitution.]

a nasty intra-party spat that opens the door for the Republicans would be a real disaster.

[Hee! Hee!]

Idiotic choice. She's going to get the primary challenge from hell. A Blue Dog can't represent that entire state. It's going to be a free-for-all in two years and Dems will lose her district, also.

[Losing that district is icing on the cake.]

She's co-sponsor of the f'ing border fence bill for crissakes. Can't NY do better?

[Senator Karl Marx?]

I am disappointed that Patterson did not name a bona fide progressive to this seat.

[She's not BONAFIDE?]

What a terrible pick. Cuomo would have been 1000 times better!!!

[At least I know for sure that you're NOT Kerry Kennedy.]

Well She won't be re-elected in two years. Niether will the Govenor.

[A win/win for Republicans! Thank you Governor Paterson!!!]

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Pitt pursuing Pied Piperdom again? And some BIG news!

The Pittster is coming out of hibernation. Perhaps he is trying to reclaim his Pied Piper status. Perhaps he is trying to rehabilitate his reputation over at truthout, after the Great Fitzmas Debacle. And of course, this Obama thing is a Big Event, and so Willie feels a need to weigh in. In any case, he is posting more, which in turn gives us more to DUFU. Thanx, Pitt!

This latest foray into ponderous pontification begins with an
ESSAY at truthout, which P3 then parlays into a THREAD in DUmmieland, "A Great Gettin' Up Morning (my essay on...well...all this)." Comments ensue at both places.

One fascinating aspect of "all this" is how Pitt--like the other libtards--is playing the race card. Indeed, the ONLY people I see bringing up race in regard to Obama's inauguration are LIBERALS. Conservatives like me don't care about Obama's RACIAL GENETICS; instead, we're concerned about a RADICAL AGENDA. But the libs are OBSESSED with race!

Well, in addition to "all this," there will also be some BIG news in this DUFU! So pull up a stool at Bukowski's, as Pitt and the TRUthouties and the DUmmies regale us in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, noting that the DUmmies' #1 obsession--namely, rabid BDS frothing and foaming--STILL is THE hot topic at the DUmp, is in the [Barackets]:

A Great Gettin' Up Morning

[For Pitt, this usually follows a Great Fallin' Down Night.]

(my essay on...well...all this)

[My attempt at being your Pied Piper again.]

The cover of the newest Nation Magazine depicts a painting of Obama's inauguration rendered and submitted by a member of the online web forum DailyKos.

[KOmmieland--where Pitt wishes he could be, instead of being stuck in lowly DUmmieland.]

The painting is in no way historically accurate. . . .

[It's like a Pitt essay.]

Thurgood Marshall . . . Nelson Mandela . . . Martin Luther King Jr. . . . Malcolm X. . . . They are all on that podium today.

[King wanted a man to be judged on the content of his character, not by the color of his skin. Yet you libs want to make this about race!]

You wait for a day to come, you wish for it and pine for it and imagine what it will be like, you want so badly and wait so long for it to come that you despair it will ever be. . . .

[It's like a Pitt run-on sentence. When will it ever end??]

and then one day, you're there, and you're not quite sure what to do with yourself.

[When in doubt, have another beer.]

There is a song I have been saving for this day.

["99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall"?]

"Medium Man/Floating Candles/Nighean Caileach Nan Cearc"

["Black and Tan/Porcelain Handles/Kneelin' Coughin' and Retchin'"]

it's this wild, loud, exuberant bagpipe detonation. . . .

[It's this weird, long, inebriant windbag pontification. . . .]

I have opened all the curtains, I have opened all the windows, I have cued up my song, and once the oath is done, the whole neighborhood is going to hear it.

[And like a good neighbor . . . no, Pitt is NOT like a good neighbor.]

MSNBC showed an aged, slow, trembling Muhammad Ali being led to his seat at the inauguration. Ali, who shocked the world, who adopted Islam, who offended and frightened the mainstream sensibilities of his time, who was pilloried for speaking his mind, who was stripped of his title for refusing to fight in Vietnam, who won again and again in the face of all comers, Muhammad Ali came to Washington to witness this day.

[Somebody needs to do a Rope-a-Dope on Pitt.]

Dick Cheney allegedly injured his back moving boxes in his Maryland house, and was relegated to a wheelchair.

["Allegedly." Darth Cheney probably hurt his back torturing little bunnies, right, Will?]

President Barack Hussein Obama. Vice President Joe Biden. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

[God help us all.]

Aretha sang, Biden swore, Yo Yo Ma played. . . .

[Pitt's neighbors swore, Pitt played his loud bagpipe music. . . .]

I was alone in my room on December 13, 2000. . . .

[Passed out.]

when this all started, when the Supreme Court decided to unleash Bush. . . . I was alone in my room again more than eight years later. . . .

[Still passed out.]

Thank you, William Rivers Pitt, for your good words, and for all the work you and Truthout have done in the past. . . .

[Like that scoop on the Rove indictment!]

Love is back on the table.

[Pitt is back on the floor.]

Thank you WillPitt, for articulating the ineffable joy of Inauguration Day - now known the world over as The Day Everything Changed!

[I thought that was the Downing Street Memo day?]

So yesterday we finally exhaled; at last we could open the fists clenched unhappily about our noxious shreds of Schadenfreude and . . . Participate!

[Freudenschade, baby!]

By some weird twist of fate maybe it took a president like Bush to bring about a President Obama.

[Maybe it will take an Obama to bring about a President Palin/Jindal/Sanford. . . .]

On November 17th 1938 I fled Nazi Germany. The last eight years started to resemble Fascism.

[The last eight years--is that how long you were held in the WalMart Detention Camp? And I bet you're glad to be able to finally use the Internet again!]

The sad part is I was growing so used to living with this fear.

[Don't worry, you'll find something else to be paranoid about.]

Mr. Pitt your words have always moved me.

[That's one way to put it.]

I thank you for your profound service, Mr. Pitt. Your work has been a light in the darkest 8 years of this country's history. . . . You give journalism a good name.

[Mr. Pitt, the REAL star of this day!]

This goodly moment was earned and more than earned through all the heartache and agony of the last 8 to 20 years, possibly the last 100 years.

[Heck, go for a whole millennium! And it's all thanks to Mr. Pitt!]

William Rivers Pitt deserves some reward for his courageous reporting -- I surely hopes he gets it.

[Increase his pay to TEN dollars an essay!]

Words are not sufficient to thank you for all of us who waited anxiously for your next article, like addicts in need of a fix.

[We need our Pitt hit!]

The moment needs to be seen as truly unique which, in keeping with the ancient legal maxim - "res ipse loquitur" . . .

["reads pitts logorrhea". . . .]

I am not part of the "Hallelujah Chorus" just yet.


I am puzzled and disturbed by some of President Obama's appointments. . . .

[It could be a short honeymoon, folks.]

The minute that McCain conceded, this elderly white woman grabbed her cat and ran out and danced all but naked in the snow.

[ T M I !! ]

We are much more likely to simply look to the new emperor. . . .

[Emperor Zero Possumus Arugula.]

While we all engage in the mental masturbatory session Mr. Pitt articulates so well. . . .

[So THAT'S what Wee Willie was doing alone in his room!]

I have spent most of the day with a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye.

[Pitt will spend most of the night with a pint in his hand and his head in the pot.]

And I'm not even American!

[Neither are the DUmmies, really!]

I hope your neighbours enjoyed the bagpipe detonation.

[They're planning a detonation of their own.]

Mr. Pitts. . . .

[There's more than one??]

I met you four years ago on Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington as you were . . .

[. . . passed out in the street.]

Will, I don't know what I would have done without you these past eight years. . . . You spoke truth to unbridled power. . . .

[Obligatory "speaking truth to power" reference.]

As if by will and outrage. . . .

[As if by Will and poutrage. . . .]

Thanks for speaking truth to power all this time. . . .

[TWO "speaking truth to powers"!]

tough to put such a day in words. . . .

[Pitt can always find a few thousand.]

Somehow I'm breathing better. Will, is that the wedding song?

[Wee Willie's real-life mother, DUmmie Raven, checks in. But what is she getting at, talking about a "wedding song"???]

Close. The wedding song is "Bodachan A Gharaidh (The Jolly Old Gardner)," also a Battlefield Band song...and also a bagpipe detonation.

[Wee Willie replies, and HE TOO mentions a "wedding song"!! What IS this??]

Are you getting married, Will??

[. . . someone asks.]

I am indeed, in Ocfober.


today is amazing. . . .

[The MOST amazing thing is that there's a gal willing to marry Pitt!! A lid for every pot--or Pitt--I guess!]

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

One last blast of BDS! Stay classy, DUmmieland!

There's nothing the DUmmies love more than a good hate-on. Indeed, it's one of the founding principles of DUmmieland, born on this date eight years ago--literally, at the inauguration of The Most Evil Man in the History of This or Any Other Universe, namely, Chimpy McBushitler. So even more than welcoming the Obamassiah, this day is about spewing vitriol at the outgoing Satan. One last blast of BDS! Witness this Pitt-wittily titled THREAD, "ADIOS MOTHERF*CKER." The language degenerates after that. Stay classy, DUmmieland! The fire-breathing hatred is in Red-Hot Red, while the calm commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who promises not to boo when Bambi and Biden leave office in four years, is in the [Barackets]:


[William Rivers Pitt! Now don't make your poor mother, DUmmie Raven, come over there and wash your mouth out with soap, young man!]

Bush is gone.

[And with that, so is Pitt's post. Record for shortest Pitticism? P3 is just priming the pump, though, preparing the way for the other DUmmies to pour forth their pure and pious poutrage. . . .]

Thank the gods!

[And all the people said . . .]

F*ck yeah!

[DUmmie Reverend_Smitty gives the Response to the Versicle.]

Now just stay alive long enough to testify in the trials.

[Feel the love. I have a hunch there will be many candidates for today's Peace, Love & Tolerance Award™.]

Buh-bye, you son of a b*tch. They're singing again in Washington! Na na na na...

[The Hill is alive . . . with the sound of moonbats. . . .]

Crowd is singing Na Na Na Na Hey Hey Hey Good Bye!

[What a classy bunch!]

My son called me just after that. He was part of that very send-off. He's a presidential scholar and actually got to go to the inauguration. I told him I'd just seen the bushes get into the helicopter for the last time and heard the crowd singing Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey, Goo-ood BYE! He said "yeah, I know, I was right there." He was in it! Representing me BEAUTIFULLY!!!

[My son, the presidential scholar and classless punk! You must be proud, Mom!]


[Do you feel better now, shouting into the echo chamber?]


[First Hague reference. Had to be.]

I was screaming at the TV.

[Even the TV couldn't hear you.]

This is my first post in The Obama Presidency.

[Bittersweet, isn't it? What will you do with all that rage, now that Bush is gone?]

Now that's what I call primo journalism!

[Now that's what I call puerile jerkiness!]

Time to do some prosecutin'!

[Let the healing begin!]


[Freudenschade, baby! Just wait till Odumbo lets you down.]

As soon as President Obama took the oath, I ran outside on the porch screaming "bush* is gone, bush* is gone". Then I ripped down my bush* Pants on Fire doll, threw it down, and then stepped on it. It's still there on the floor, lying on his face. Wow, that felt good!

[Seek professional help.]

For eight years, it seemed that *every* morning there was some unrelentingly grim stuff committed by BushCo: the carnage of the criminal invasion of Iraq; the ignorance, inaction and indifference in the face of major tragedy (the tsunami and New Orleans). Terror, terror, terror, and the laughable terror-alert color wheel. Guantanamo, torture, water-boarding, Abu Gharib. "Everybody go shopping." Wiretapping. The suspension of habeas corpus. "Mission Accomplished." I could add items to this nauseating laundry list all day, and still leave out some serious sh*t.

[Funny, you left out that little incident when those planes kinda accidentally flew into those buildings and they fell a little and some people were hurt--well, killed, actually. Then, for some reason, we didn't have any more of those incidents here on American soil under Bush's watch. Hmmm. . . .]


[I sense a theme. . . .]

we still have to flush out the sleeper bushbots infesting our government.

[We'll get Obama's new adviser, Kurt Grove, right on that.]

Bring bush back. Put him in a jiu-jitsu armlock.


Via con F*ck you

[A little Spanish lingo there. . . .]

Next time I see Dumbya I want him to be in handcuffs.

[ben, ben, ben. . . .]

May there be such a thing as Hell, that George W. Bush may burn in it.

[This seems to be the only part of traditional religion you DUmmies like, is eternal perdition, and only if you can send rethuglicans there.]

Why was Cheney dressed as a cross between Jack Abramoff and Dr. Strangelove?

[Dick Cheney, the Man of a Thousand Faces.]

See you in the Hauge. . . .

[19th century Norwegian pietist Hans Nielsen Hauge??]

Karmageddon for the penultimate hereditary nobody will ring with hollow obsequiousness from inferiors whose embarrassing inferiority just salts the wound.

[You got a "Word of the Day" calendar for Christmas, didn't you?]

Happy Obama Day, William.

[May it live forever--like Rove Indictment Day, William.]

Via con Diablo, @sshole

[Stay classy, DUmmieland!]

Monday, January 19, 2009

DUmmies exult, "This is the dawning of a new era!"

Can you FEEL the birth pangs in the cosmos? Can you SENSE your consciousness being raised? Feel it, sense it, taste it, touch it! It's coming, and it will be here in less than 24 non-business hours!! The DUmmies are beside themselves! "This is the dawning of a NEW ERA!!!" PRAISE GAIA!! PRAISE OBAMASSIAH! PRAISE US!! WE ARE THE CHANGE WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!!!! Just get a load of this THREAD, "Today feels so much like New Year's Eve to me..."

Hey, it's cosmic and it's comic! This is the dawning of a new era for the DUmmie FUnnies, too! An era of HILARITY, as the sky-high hopes of the DUmmies are sure to come crashing down to earth--and mirth! So before we get to the DUmmie ecstatic utterances, let us first sing this hot-off-the-press promise of comedy to come, from yours truly, the wag tailoring the doggerel. Click the music link and sing along!

Tune: "Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In" Original

When the moonbats win the White House
And stupider aligns with Marx
Then we will mock the moonbats
We'll laugh to hear their barks

This is the dawning of an age that's hilarious
Age that's hilarious

Parody of Undergrounders
Comedy and laughs abounding
So much fodder for the FUnnies
From the blotter of the DUmmies
When they're let down by Obama
There'll be comic melodrama

When the moonbats win the White House
And stupider aligns with Marx
Then we will mock the moonbats
We'll laugh to hear their barks

This is the dawning of an age that's hilarious
Age that's hilarious

Let the moonbats, let the moonbats in, the moonbats in
Let the moonbats, let the moonbats in, the moonbats in
Let the moonbats, let the moonbats in, the moonbats in . . .

Oh, let 'em fly, c'mon
Now everybody just bark along
And let the moonbats on in
Open up the DUFUs and let 'em fly on in
And when you want FUnnie, hey, let 'em fly on
You got to open up the DUFUs and let 'em fly on in
And when you feel like you need a freepin'
And your blogs turn too bleak for you
Just open the DUFUs and let 'em fly on in
You got to DUFU
You got to DUFU
Open up the DUFUs and let 'em fly on in
Let me tell you one thing
I want you to laugh along with the DUmmie FUnnies
Hey, open up the DUFUs
And let 'em fly
The Beaver will say
Hey, you got to DUFU
You got to DUFU . . .

Now on to the DUmmies and their orgasmic Obama hyperventilating, in Dawning-of-a-New-Day Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, getting things ready to wash his hair all day tomorrow, is in the [Barackets]:

Today feels so much like New Year's Eve to me...

[It feels like a New AGE!]

Tomorrow is the start of a brand new year for all of us...

[A new EON! Let's redate everything "A.O."!]

We're done wandering in the wilderness...

[I can SEE the Promised Land!]

What a great day!

[The Day Before the Day When Everything Finally Changed--Finally!]

Not saying we don't have big problems to fix.

[And if there are any problems that Obamassiah doesn't fix on the First Day, that will be Bush's Fault.]

everything is possible now. . . .

[Oh yes! Yes! Yes! YES!!!]

Come, take my hand...

[My trembling, quivering hand, aflutter with excitement!]

Into the future for all of us...

[WHISK us away, Obamassiah!]

Tommorow will be a good day. I think some folks finally get it.

[Some of us are getting sick.]

It just hit me, really hit me, today...

[Like a 2 x 4 upside the head.]

Isn't it amazing?

[Isn't it amusing?]

I'll probably be up very late tonight because I won't be able to sleep from excitement.

[Let's have a slumber party and stay up all night!]

It'll be a good time to finish The Audacity of Hope.

[Who wrote that, anyway? Was that another Ayers ghost-write job?]

A truly historical moment...

[A truly hysterical moment. . . .]

Someone just shook my hand in the grocery store!

[Did they use the hand sanitizer afterward?]

I am wearing my Obama sweatshirt.

[And your Obama underoos?]

There was a brilliance in our exchange.

[Exchange we can't believe in!]

A relief.

[A real laugh.]

there is so much optimism among the American people that seems to have been bottled up.

[When Obambi lets you down, DUmmies, you'll be REACHING for a bottle!]

this is the dawning of a new era.

[Universal enlightenment, world peace, daffodils and daisies, laughter and levitation! Ommmmmm. . . . .]

I actually started to cry.

[Tears of joy, flowing freely! Yes, it's a five-tissue day!]

I've been crying in my thread. . . .

[Try a full hankie.]

What a day, what a day of reckoning.

[A Day of Barackoning.]

I love to be alive now. . . .

[From the worst time in the history of humanity . . . to the most glorious dawning of a new and golden day! All thanks to the Young Prince!]

I love all people today.

[Except Bush.]

I was just thinking that I wish I still had my Christmas tree up and all the lights outside. I would have loved to plug everything back in for tonight and tomorrow night and light this republican neighborhood of mine right up.

[You are truly a Light-worker.]

I can't wait to dance the first dance with my husband tomorrow night, along with Barack and Michelle. I'm going to wear black velvet and spikey shoes.

[Calm down, ben.]

My front porch light just burned out! I think it's a sign!!

[How many Obamas does it take to change a light bulb we can believe in? Just . . . The One!]

I still feel a strange surge of hope.

[Is it kind of a tingle up your leg, Chris?]

We're all so FULL OF HOPE that it's overflowing all over the place.

[I would say you're full of something else that's overflowing.]

Here comes the sun. . . .

[Here come the moonbats!]

It's frigging infectious!!

[We always shower after visiting DUmmieland.]

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Inauguration Fever hits DUmmieland!

The day is surely drawing near! Obamassiah has mounted the Democrat donkey and is approaching the Holy City for his triumphal entry! The countdown continues! Will the ball descend in Times Square? I don't know. TV hosts are breathless. They're fawning over Obambi, the Young Prince. It's quite sickening, actually.

But Inauguration Fever is on the rise in DUmmieland, even as the temperatures in DC are going down! Maybe we can catch some of the festivities on TV. Do you think any of the networks will cover it? YA THINK? It's ALL OBAMA, ALL THE TIME! "Wall-to-wall" coverage? More like, "Through the walls, down the stairs, up on the rooftop, over the river and through the woods" coverage! But the adoring Obambats in DUmmieland are giddy, and they'll be glued to every inspirational moment. Check out this
THREAD, "Televised Inaugural Events all in one Handy Dandy Post!"

So get out your Winky-Dink screen and place it on your television, so you can help draw the way for Obambi to get to Washington in time. Use the Bolshevik Red crayon, which is the same color as the DUmmie ejaculations below, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who unfortunately will be washing his hair all day Tuesday and thus will miss ObamaFest, is in the [Barackets]:

Televised Inaugural Events all in one Handy Dandy Post!

[Oh, good! Tell me about all the stuff I won't be watching!]

Ok, I was going all cross-eyed looking at the spreadsheets I had for the activities worth watching over the next five days and decided to just make a list.

[How about making a list of all the TV programming that will NOT be Obamamatic? That would be a lot shorter.]

Hopefully, someone else will find this helpful.

[I find it unnecessary. Flip on any channel and it's bound to be Obama Time.]

All times Eastern

[All coverage fawning.]

10am - CSPAN - Obama's Love Train departs Philly.

[People all over the world, join hands. . . .]

1pm - (tv coverage uncertain) - Train picks up Joe Biden . . .

[At the Home Depot.]

in Wimington. . . .

[I thought he lived in Scranton?]

4:15pm - (tv coverage uncertain) - train arrives in Baltimore, another ceremony likely to follow.

[Palm branches to be distributed.]

5pm - MSNBC - Hardball with Tweet for what I assume is the train arriving in DC.

[The thrill running up Tweety's leg may cause technical difficulties.]

2:30pm - HBO (you dont have to have HBO but you DO have to have cable)

[HBO to be renamed BHO.]

Inaugural Celebration Concert at the Lincoln Memorial

[Lincoln Memorial to be renamed Barackropolis.]

(HBO's site says "watch a message from the President elect" while CSPAN says "address by the President elect." he may be there or may not be)


8pm - Disney Channel - Kids Inaugural Ball - appearance by Michelle and Jill.

[AKA Minnie and Daisy.]

all day coverage . . .


11:30am - Inaugural Ceremony Beings

[BlackBerry Hussein Obama, strange being from another planet. . . .]

2:30pm - parade actitivies

[Here we'll be doing parody activities.]

(Bush's departure etc)


8pm - ABC - Neighbohood Ball

[There goes the neighborhood!]

appearance by Barack and Michelle.

[Oh joy! Oh rapture! Bamalot!]

Please! if I left anything out, lemme know!

[WE MUST KNOW . . . EVERY . . . SINGLE . . . SECOND!!]

I guess I be will be glued to C-span all day Saturday.

[It's kind of like sniffing glue, isn't it?]

If anyone wants to see the Obama Radio Nation event with Randi, Stephie, Bill Press, Ed Schultz and others, it will be on C-SPAN from 4-7 on Sunday.

[The Triumph of the Moonbats!]

Maps, Performers, Parties, Balls, etc.

[Barf Bags not included.]

I am so excited...I have my own countdown clock!!!

[I myself am counting down the days to 1-20-13.]

Mods- can we keep this pinned and open for late edits?

[How about we frame it and bronze it and place it on our mantel?]

I believe I'll be kicking this. . . .

[I believe I'll be sick.]

I took the day off to celebrate.

[A day off from not working.]

I will be checking in here all day to see if any fellow DUers will be posting pictures with little stories about all the joy and excitement.

[I'm all atwitter! I'm like a little schoolgirl!]

I cannot wait for Tuesday. . . .

[I cannot wait for 2013.]



well, just dont expect any pics of me on the couch in my PJs because I'm not putting on any makeup until Tuesday night!

[You should try the smudge-free mascara, ben. Tears of joy are not a problem.]

I will be DVR'ing all of this.

[It's already DRVing me crazy.]

I assume CNN will be covering the train arriving too?

[CNN has a correspondent just to cover the porters.]

the places where I wrote (TV coverage uncertain) I am assuming CSPAN, MSNBC, CNN etc. will be covering those, but I couldn't find any definate listings.

[It will be everywhere, all the time, on every channel, don't worry. The Hunting & Fishing Channel is doing "Favorite Duck Calls of the Obamas." The Food Network is having an "Arugula Marathon." CNN/SI is doing a special "Swimsuit Edition: Obama's Pecs." But the capper will be on the Fashion Channel, "Michelle's Extreme Makeover: Jackie Style."]

Any ideas what channels are going to cover this stuff?

[All of them. Indeed, special channels are being created, even as we speak, to beam the events to other planets. Enjoy!]

Friday, January 16, 2009

Brother Pitt leads the testimonies: "How I came to DUmmieland"

It's testimony time! Can I get a witness? We're coming up on the EIGHTH anniversary of the founding of DUmmieland--a momentous occasion indeed--and so Brother Pitt is leading the DUmmie faithful in recounting just how, in divine providence, these poor souls were led to COME TO DUMMIELAND! The revival is taking place in this THREAD, the weightily titled, " January 20, 2001 - January 20, 2009."

Now there is a subtext going on in this thread: Pitt is trying to reclaim his former Pied Piper status, or at least trying to garner accolades based on it. Rule #1 with Pitt: It is ALWAYS . . . ALL ABOUT WILL.

And so we embark on a journey through time and history, surveying the sweep, the panorama, the warp and woof of DUmmieland, in Red-Letter-Day Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, awed at the spectacle, is in the [brackets]: January 20, 2001 - January 20, 2009

[Reads like a tombstone. Is this a sign?]

Eight years and one week ago. . . .

[Pitt wrote this on January 13, when it was one week LESS than eight years. Pedagogue Pitt, apparently, did not teach math.]

a few pissed-off Democrats. . . .

[Is there any other kind?]

a few pissed-off Democrats with an idea for a web forum unfurled a banner at the first inauguration of George W. Bush.

[Great moments in American history: Washington crossing the Delaware. Lincoln speaking at Gettysburg. Skinner hoisting a banner.]

Thus, DU was born.

[What sort of day was it? A day like all days, filled with those events that alter and illuminate our times, and . . . you . . . were there!]

Thank you, Skinner. Thank you, Elad. Thank you, EarlG. Thank you, moderators. Thank you, members. Thank you, donators. Thank you, posters.

[Thank you, Pitt. Thanx for the overwrought essays. Thanx for the drunken late-night screeds. Thanx for the backpedaling recantations. Thanx for the many departures and returns. Thanx for the journalistic scoops. Thanx for the limitless lode of comedy gold!]

I came to DU the following May, and have been here (off and on) ever since.

[The "off and on" part has been FUn!]

How about you? What brought you here?

[The short bus.]

What keeps you here?

[Skins' Island is kind of like Alcatraz: There's no escape.]

We're not just a week away from a new president. We're a week away from DU's most important birthday.

[DUmmieland being the more important of the two.]

Tell us your story.

[TESTIFY, brothers and sisters! And be sure to talk about ME and my invaluable contributions!]

First 5 DUers I met:
Earl G
Will Pitt
Pretty impressive list for the first 5 DUers I've met.

[Especially that last one, PITT!]

I'd felt alone and marginalized in rural Iowa in 2003. . . .

[Nothing but corn and soybeans, corn and soybeans, as far as the eye could see. Then, one day, that there internets thingy came along, when they electricafied the county, and now, HALLELUJAH, I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!!!]

This place has been a true lifeline for me. . . .

[It's been a true laffline for us.]

I was here from the beginning.

[In the beginning was the DUmmie, and the DUmmie was with Mod. . . .]

I can't remember how I found DU. . . .

[It's all an alcohol-induced fog now. . . .]

I didn't find DU until a few days after the 2004 election. . . . That day changed my life...seriously.


I discovered there were lots of other people who were feeling the same way I was...depressed, disillusioned and hopeless.

[And we still are.]

We've laughed, we've cried. . . .

[Here at the DUmmie FUnnies, we have just laughed.]

We've kept each other sane.

[You're kidding, right?]

You, Sir, are one of the folks that I always read.

[Sir William Pitt, the Drunker.]

The amount of knowledge coming down those pipes is astounding.

[The amount of cannabis coming down those pipes is astounding.]

I know everytime that I would post something, Will Pitt's post was always right above mine.

[The Ubiquitous Pitt. Ah, those were the days!]

I see that Will Pitt is still here.

[A mere shadow of his former Pied Piper self.]

I would venture a guess that nobody has posted more words to the DU than Will Pitt?

[I would guess that nobody has posted more words, PERIOD, IN ONE ESSAY, than Will Pitt.]

He was prolific. . . .

[He was prolix.]

I don't remember what brought me here. . . .

[I had passed out.]

I met Helen Thomas in the flower drive thanks to DU.


I've met a lot of fine people here and a surprisingly small number of a-holes.

[We all have our disappointments, ben.]

When I first came here, Will was one of the "gods" of DU.

[How the mighty have fallen!]

I've watched Will come and go. . . .

[So have we! What FUn!]

DU has been a venting place. . . .

[V For Venting.]

I wasn't always politically involved. I voted in the 2000 election because of my parents peskering me.

[Those pesty peskering parents!]

I selected my candidate based on the dumbest reason EVER. I read that Gore shares my birthday, so I voted for him.

[Look, voting for Algore for ANY reason would be DUmb!]

I surfed "Hate Bush" sites for a while. . . .

[Until I found DUmmieland, the MOTHER of all Hate Bush sites!]

There were probably fifty members at most. . . .

[There still are. The rest are tombstoned, sockpuppets, or LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!]

DU has been my light in the darkness, my friend in time of need, my shoulder to cry on, my hug-buddy, my stinging high-five when things were going right, a fatal NASCAR wall-slam for stupid Freepers. . . .

[The Many Faces of DUmmieland.]

thank you Will Pitt for all the provocative writing over the years. . . .

[And the prevaricative writing, too, like the scoop on the Rove indictment.]

I predict DU will change quite a bit over the next 6 months. . . .

[You won't have Bushco to kick around anymore--so take it out on Obambi, Reid, and Pelosi!]

DU kept me sane(ish).

[That's a big "ish."]

It was a delight to yuck it up with you Will on more than one occasion.

[Will is Mr. Yuk.]

Used to read Free Republic all of the time and was seeing damn near CONSTANT references to DU and DUmmies.

[W00t! Another satisfied DUmmie FUnnies reader!]

Read both sites for over five years before becoming members (of both) last year.


STILL confused, angry and frightened (yep, even with Dems in charge)

[It's the DUmmie Way.]

I remember thinking the place had gone to hell when that Pitt guy started posting. . . .

[The Pitt of Hell!]

I was in a daze. . . .

[The Daze When Everything Finally Changed.]

Even when this place is in meltdown mode, there are the inspired shafts of brilliance, the solid, sensible posts (yes, you, Skinner!), the wild flights of insanity (we're still all William Pitt). . . .

[William Pitt EMBODIES wild flights of insanity.]

the hot wings keep me coming back. . . .

[All of them left wings.]

i began lurking in 2004 when i googled "bush sucks" and "i hate bush"

[The essence of DUmmieness.]

yay!!!! seeing someone put rethugs in their proper place UNITES people!!!

[Let the healing begin!]

I came aboard in March 2002 after reading the essay "Stand Your Ground" by none other than William Rivers Pitt. . . .

[I had started reading it in June 2001. . . .]

I accidentally found this place while looking for porn.

[The Ben Burch Story.]

I really hope there will be a DU banner on display at the Obama inauguration.


I find DU to be a refuge in a world of lunacy, though we have our own brand of that lunatic thing going on.

[The word is "moonbat."]

I got lost in this weird series of tubes, and woke up here!

[It happens.]

Bless DU and all here, past and present.

[Gaia bless us, every one.]

This place rocks!

[This place reeks!]

DU brought my husband and I together. . . . the SD forum decided to have a DU meetup in the area where I lived, and he attended the meetup. It was over a year later before our friendship took a romantic turn, but that was the beginning, thanks to DU.

[Awwww!!! How sweet! Love among the DUmmies!]

I wonder how many relationships started here.

[None for DUmmie stevenumbers.]

DU is my electronic home!

[DU is our electronic ant farm!]

I lurked everyday for three years and then this April I quit smoking and had to do something to keep my hands busy.

[DU as electronic knitting needles.]

anger, frustration, dark clouds gathering, some getting ready to, or actually leaving the country.

[You mean getting ready to actually TALK about leaving the country.]

it's such a gas to hear everyone's story!

[It's like pepper gas, only FUnnie!]

I'm sure I'll stay here until the sun explodes and swallows the earth in a fiery Ragnarök.

[Then you'll be posting, blaming it on Bush.]

Meeting Beings of Light like you has definitely been the best part of hanging out at DU!

[The Unbeatable Lightness of Being Beings of Light!]

Thank you, fellow electrons.

[Are you positive?]

Couldn't begin my day without DU.

[A day without DU is like breakfast without sunshine.]

I didn't have a computer until 2007.

[Before that, I got DU on my typewriter.]

DU has been the best counter to Rove's reverse and absurd reality campaign and voo-doo.

[Leading you to believe that is part of the Rovian voodoo.]

My instincts tell me that our Dem leaders don't appreciate what goes on here.

[Democratic Understatement.]

If we want to see progressive change, we are the ones who will have to make it happen. Sitting and bitching will no longer suffice.


Thanks DU and thank you Mr. Pitt!!

[They Call Me MISTER Pitt!]