Monday, August 27, 2012

"Weird episode with, I can almost assure you, was a right winger"


The Rethuglican War on Women gets personal in this bouncy THREAD by DUmmie Aerows, "Weird episode with, I can almost assure you, was a right winger." Indeed, it was a clear case of Sexual Harrassment, and DUmmie Aerows gets hot under the color!

So let us enter the hyper-sensitive world where every woman is a victim, every man is a creep, and every creep is a right-winger, i.e., DUmmieland, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, predicting that the Democrat Convention will paint the Rethuglicans as "The Party of Akin," is in the [brackets]:

Weird episode with, I can almost assure you, was a right winger

[I can ALMOST assure you . . . well . . . I really have no idea . . . but I'll blame the right-wingers anyway.]

[BTW, DUmmie Aerows later updated her thread title to . . .]

Weird episode of Sexual Harrassment in Walmart

[Help! I'm a victim!]

I was in Wal-Mart. . . .

[You were in Wal-Mart???? How COULD you?? BTW, did you see the detention center in the basement?]

please go ahead and roast me, but there really aren't any other places here to get deli meat. I was getting my smoked honey turkey. . . .

[You went to Wal-Mart--that's bad enough--and then you bought MEAT?? We're ready to roast and smoke you, honey! You turkey!]

my mother was getting her cinnamon buns.

[They have a place in Wal-Mart where they do that now? Is that like bikini waxing?]

This man next to me mentions "I never imagined that Sunday would be the busiest day in here."

[Whoa! An obvious pick-up line! That sexist creep!]

I, of course, shop on Sundays. . . .

[Of course. God forbid you go to church.]

and offered, "yes, it's always busy on Sundays. You work all week, Saturday is housecleaning day, then you shop on Sunday."

[You tell him, girl! No means no! Back off, creep!]

At that point this weirdo leaned in and adjusted the color on my shirt. . . .

[What about the tint and contrast? Did he adjust those too?]

grazing both the necklace on my neck, and my neck.

[So the guy perhaps instinctively and innocently makes a little helpful move to fix your cockeyed collar, and he accidentally comes in contact with your necklace--and you're ready to assume the worst, like he's some stalker type! OK, maybe he was flirting with you a bit. Or . . . maybe you're reading too much into this. Alright, maybe even we grant you he shouldn't have touched your collar. But does that mean therefore that he's a right-winger?? Ever heard of a guy named Clinton?]

My mother arrived from the donut counter and took over. . . .

["Donut touch my daughter's color!"}

asking me to go look for a chicken for dinner.

[Mom is a chicken-winger.]

She knew the dude had creeped me out completely.
[How do you know the dude wasn't a DUde?]

My mother saved me from this icky person by sending me for a chicken. . . .


Right there at the deli counter.

[It was a deli cut situation.]

EDIT: I updated the thread to reflect that it was Sexual Harassment to take the political element out of it, because it could probably happen to any woman, anywhere, regardless of political stripe.

[So the WOMAN could be of any political stripe, but the man must still be a right-winger??]

It truly creeped me out and considering the Republican ideas about women. . . .

[There it is. He must be a right-winger.]

I was so glad to have my mother with me, and was scared all the way into the parking lot.

[The DUmmies now commiserate with the quivering Aerows . . .]

I go ahead and give people dirty looks at the grocery store when I feel they deserved it.

[How can they tell the difference from your regular looks?]

I wonder... could it be that you look young? . . . A huge part of getting harrassed and disrespected is looking young.

[Maybe THAT'S it, DUmmie Aerows. People naturally want to adjust the collars of the young.]

I'm petite, feminine and blond. . . .

[In reality, "petite, feminine and blond" DUmmie Aerows is probably some guy sitting in his basement who looks like this . . .]


I am also approaching 40. . . . I am a blond, feminine lesbian. . . .

[A lesbian posting in DUmmieland! What a surprise! But a "feminine lesbian"?? I thought that was only in the movies.]

right there at the deli counter.

[Right in front of the tu-- Nope! Too easy!]

Strictly speaking, This might be considered assault.

[Assault with intent to straighten a collar.]

What makes you sure he was right wing?

[The fact that you would even ASK such a question, that you would doubt for a moment that he was--this must mean that YOU TOO are a right-wing creep! LOUSY CREEPER TROLL!!!]

As soon as he touched you, you should have dialed 911.

[What's the number again for 911? I forget.]

When someone is assaulted, there are three possible ways of reacting, fight, flight or freeze.

[What about when someone's collar is adjusted? Do you a) go over to the chicken department, b) mess up your collar again, or c) whine about it on DU?]

I was so tired this morning. it was 9 am, and lest that seem like a late morning, I was dressed and doing things.

[Maybe that's how your collar got messed up, DUmmie Aerows.]

Yesterday, I replaced about 15 lightbulbs on a ladder. . . .

[How many lightbulbs does it take for a DUmmie to replace on a ladder?]

I kind of was just stunned.

[I was hoping a WOMAN would adjust my collar.]

I can't promise to do less in my life and stop drinking less unsweetened, decaffeinated iced tea, the best beverage in the world.

[Ah, so you're a teabagger, are you?]

I am a rather petite woman that loves other women . . .

[. . . to adjust my collar.]

Do they sell hot pepper spray at Mal-Wart?

[I don't think that goes too well on smoked turkey.]

where do they get the idea they can do it? YOU LET HIM DO IT!

[I thought only Rethuglicans blamed the victim. I guess not.]

STAND UP FOR YOURSELF

[GET TOUGH, CREAM PUFF!]

Apply your knee to his crotch, vigorously and immediately.

[What every woman in DUmmieland would love to do to every man in the world.]

And you DIDN'T SLAP HIM because?!

[Maybe because slapping someone just because they fixed your collar for you could be looked at askance. Just a thought.]

It is a little weird but I think you're overreacting.

[FINALLY somebody comes up with this very real possibility!]

He didn't touch you in an inappropriate place, nor did he say or do anything to make you think he had inappropriate intentions.

[DUmmie cbdo2007, please go over to the Kewpie Doll aisle and pick one out!]

"adjusting my collar" is NOT appropriate contact. . . .

[OK, OK, we GET it, DUmmie Aerows! It is possible the guy did cross the boundary, whether intentionally or unintentionally. We don't know, we weren't there. But you go on and on and on, making yourself out to be a victim, over what COULD have been just a well-meaning assist (or poorly done innocent flirting), and you have everyone giving you advice about knees to the groin and pepper-spraying the guy in the face and yelling in the store, and MAYBE all the guy wanted to do was fix your collar! And what's more, you ASSUME the guy must have been a right-winger!]

"Color" or "Collar?" When I first read that post, I thought the creep had thrown up all over your shirt.

[He IS a Repuke, you know.]

He got the idea that he could do that because you didn't elbow him in the face.

[Just to be safe, elbow every man who talks to you in the face. That'll make them think twice about adjusting your collar.]

If Sandra Bullock adjusted my collar, I wouldn't care.

[Sorry, DUmmie lumberjack jeff, only one Kewpie Doll per thread.]

- - - - - - - - - -

POSTSCRIPT:

As a gentleman, I do not believe in being too familiar with strange women--and the DUmmie women are definitely strange! And as a Swede, one of God's frozen people--well, we don't do a lot of public touching. So I probably wouldn't fix a woman's collar without her permission. But I can't say that every guy who would is some evil stalker! And even if he is a creep, I certainly wouldn't assume it's because he's a Republican!

Exhibit A: May I introduce to you the Man from Grope, the Comeback Id . . . the man who doesn't just TALK about rape, he DOES it . . . ladies and gentlemen, one of the main speakers at the upcoming DEMOCRAT Convention . . . Mr. Bill Clinton!

21 Comments:

Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

That story has to be pure BS...I don't know ANYONE who does that to a woman he doesn't know nor do I know a woman that wouldn't belt some guy who would try that stunt.

1:28 AM  
Blogger 98ZJUSMC said...

I'm tempted to call a bouncy on this, too. Besides, I thought (D)Ullards vaporized in a puff of purple Unicorn smoke if they so much as looked at a Wal-Mart.

5:17 AM  
Anonymous Liptonius said...

Meh!

Wait a day or so, and there will be spray paint on her house: "We Found You Crooked-Collar!"

She will have some superficial scratches and go running down the street screeching "EEEEVILL RETHUGLICANS ADJUSTING MY COLLAR! ANTI-LESBIAN RACIST CLOTHE-OPHOBES!"


6:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my sainted hat! What a load of manufactured drama.

Sure, as a woman, I wouldn't want a strange man adjusting my collar, but in no way would I react in this INSANE manner.

According to the story, he didn't flirt, didn't leer, wasn't drooling, he just made a social error. Perhaps he's just an awkward guy.

Would I "knee him in the groin" for that? Nah, I might change aisles.

Would I go on some message board to wail and moan and act like I was almost raped? (Not to mention, stupidly make it a political issue?) Hell, no.

Why? Because I have common-freakin'-sense. Not a knee-jerk reactionist, Femi-nazi, all men are pigs, drama queen.

Aerows, I know that on that walk back to your car that day, you were already formulating your post to DU, weren't you? Of course you were! Couldn't wait to bask in the hand-wringing.

Get a life. Seriously. Something to occupy your time more constructively. I promise you'll be happier.



8:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was her collar attached to a straight jacket? Inquiring minds want to know.

8:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was her collar attached to a straight jacket?

Bazinga!

10:06 AM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

A petite, white, lesbian DUmmie blonde shopping in a Walmart (Walmart for Christ's sake!) What did she expect?

Next time, Aerows, shop at Trader Joe's; no small talk making, collar adjusting Rethugs there.






1:01 PM  
Anonymous Creepy Wal-Mart Guy said...

I admit I was trying to get a look down her blouse. But when I saw all that armpit hair, I knew she was a lesbian. So I left, and went to look for fat chicks in tight spandex.

11:19 PM  
Anonymous Corona said...

Creep - "Do you believe in the hereafter?"
Aerows - (eye roll) "Of course."
Creep - "Well, then you know what I'm here after."

I love how they structure their victimization complaints. Goes something like this-
I was totally eye raped by some lousy filthy Rethug! It gives me the iggy just thinking about it. By the way I'm a totally hot waif of a pale white lesbian nymph in tight jeans. I like couscous, Hummel figurines, pillow fights and long walks on the nude beach at sunset. DON'T TOUCH ME!!! So you see why I'm so upset.

6:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sometimes, I get the urge to try and parody these people. Then I read something like this and realize that it can't be done anymore.

6:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Huh. I was wrong. Corona managed a parody, but just barely, because his version would probably still pass muster on DU.

6:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't forget I'm from the SOUTH, and in this backwoods, redneck, moouth-breathing, fly-over country, I can't defend myself without being thrown in jail---because the guy was WHITE. --Aerows

How many ways can she be a victim??

Hey, Aerows, yes, if you'd have punched him or kneed him in the groin, you might have had to have a converstation with a police officer. Yelling at the guy to back off would have caused you no trouble. Not every action you deem offensive is worthy of physical violence. Common sense, my dear.

9:36 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Anonymous said...

"....Common sense, my dear."


Common sense? From a Moonbat?

Rave on, mad fool....

12:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DU finally explained?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9426205/Cannabis-smoking-permanently-lowers-IQ.html

1:44 PM  
Anonymous Corona said...

Anonymous 6:42, don't be stifled because of their uber stupidity. Parody is not for them, it's for our enjoyment.

11:12 PM  
Blogger 98ZJUSMC said...

Yes. Because in (D)Ullardsville, real life is parody.

8:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm...an unusually high number of very specific details in this story that I'm totally sure is not made up.

1:17 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

WTF? Clint Eastwood.

This is what I'm talking about. You get some honest momentum and then BLAM!...here comes an Akin or a hurricane or a speech from the prospective VP filled with lies. And now Eastwood's introduction to the supposed next president of the United States.

You fuckers are snakebit. But as Herman Cain said, "...blame yourself".

I'm not sure all your historical crazy-assed bullshit has caught up with you jackasses yet. I don't think it has. But it's getting there. Why? Because you're all unable to NOT sound like whack jobs at every turn. You can't help it.

Maybe Ted Nugent should've introduced the mittwit with "Fist Fightin' Son of a Gun"...then closed the show with a "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang" sing-along.

12:15 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

The only whackjob on this site is YOU, Guttersnipe.

Buzz off, go pound down a few liters of EVERCLEAR to wash down your dose of LSD and power-slam your head up your ass a few dozen times, you linguini-spined gutless fool.

1:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey! I thought Debbie Wasserman Schultz was the DNC's Lifelike Talking Points Robot but troglaman spat her propaganda out almost verbatim.

Something going on between you two troglaman? You sly dog! Is your inner homo all right with this?

12:50 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

No. She's not. Thanks for adding fuel to the fire, troglANON.

11:46 PM  

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