Beware the Perfect Rovian Storm!!!

BEWARE, DUmmies! BEWARE the Perfect Rovian Storm! He's here! He's there! He's EVERYWHERE!!! And as we go into this year's big election, DUmmie paranoia on the subject of Karl Rove has gone into hyper-drive as you can see in this THREAD, "Beware of this Rovian maneuver... it is coming." As you can see the over the top DUmmie fear and paranoia is quite entertaining. Yes, Master Rove is coming at you with a big bag full of hidden Kung Fu tricks designed to disable you before you even know it. So let us now enjoy this DUmmie paranoia about the coming Perfect Rovian Storm in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, reminding the DUmmies that even your Rove paranoia thread is itself a Rovian trick designed to mislead you...or not, is in the [brackets]:

Beware of this Rovian maneuver... it is coming.

[Bow before the power of the PERFECT ROVIAN STORM!!!]

Step 1. Create a fake Romney tax return that shows something REALLY bad... zero taxes paid in 2009, offshore accounts, the works. 

[Psst! Don't tell anybody but Harry Reid is part of this Perfect Rovian Scheme.]

Step 2. Release the phony tax return to an unwilling news organization... (can't use Dan Rather this time, probably try Brian Williams). 

[Is Mary Mapes now acting as show producer for Brian Williams?]

Step 3. When unwilling news organization reports that they have received a copy of Romney's tax return and publicizes it, have some "minions" on rightwing blogs come up with the "evidence" that the return is a fake. 

[Karl Rove will fax those "minions" the "evidence" from a certain Kinko's in Amarillo, TX c/o Lucy Ramirez.]

Step 4. Scream bloody murder about Brian Williams (or whoever) using made-up evidence against Romney. Scream left-wing media bias. Scream dirty tricks by Democrats. 

[Yes, yes. Learn to appreciate the beauty of a Perfect Rovian Scheme as it all clicks together seamlessly.]

Step 5. Media, embarrassed by using a phony document, backs off of story for the rest of the campaign. 

[Step 6. Make sure that Harry Reid claims that he got his info from an unnamed source from within Bain Capital.]

We've all seen it before with Bush and National Guard, people. The way they make the "truth" go away is to pull a trick like I laid out. 

[Just weeks before Rove pulled your legs with that fake exit poll trick. Hee! Hee!]

You know it is coming. Be ready for when it does. 

[Hunker down in your DUmmie bunkers at the approach of the Perfect Rovian Storm.]

THIS is how they'll try to bury the tax return issue for all time. 

[Your warning is too late. Harry Reid just initiated the first part of the complex Rovian Scheme.]

Rove did this with the debate prep tape in 2000.
He did it with the Air National Guard forgeries in 2004.
He did it with the Sarah Palin emails being "hacked" in 2008. 

[He did it with fixing the World Series in 1919.]

They don't play fair. Be ready. 

[There is no escaping the sublime trickery of the Perfect Rovian Storm. And now to yet more juicy paranoia from the rest of the DUmmies...]

Good to start putting it out there. This sounds entirely plausible. It's just like something he'd do. Just like something he already HAS done, as you've astutely pointed out. And you're correct about something else, too: it's EQUALLY wise always to be trying to out-think him. You have to try to stay one step ahead. Anticipate, anticipate, anticipate. 

[Have you anticipated the Harry Reid ploy? If you have then you are already too late since Karl Rove is already three chess moves ahead of you.]

Rove bugged his own office... 

[WILLIAM RIVERS PITT claims that Rove also issued his own indictment on May 12, 2006.]

Maybe since he has shown his hand too many times, his tricks will be less effective. I hope so. 

[Rove has already pulled his sleight of hand on you and don't even know it.]

Maybe since he has shown his hand too many times, his tricks will be less effective. I hope so. 

[Hang on to that hope. It's all you got.


Only a complete idiot (even more than normal) would take the bait after what happened to Dan Rather. They may be fatuous talking heads, but they are fatuous talking heads with a keen survival instinct. 

[But look how tempting that Harry Reid lure is. Go ahead and take a bite. Karl Rove absolutely promises you won't get hooked again.]

Just saying, Rove is like a poisonous snake in the grass. You can't stop worrying about him or what dirty tricks his demented mind has come up with. A really good lie -- a stinking rotton smear brilliantly presented -- timed perfectly with a couple hundred million dollars to spread the manure around the country, that COULD shake things up. 

[Oh, don't worry about that poisonous snake in the grass. It's the Rovian chameleon in the rocks that you have to worry about. In fact, how do you know that Karl Rove himself hasn't posted in this thread?]

Rove would hate sitting this one out, but let us face it. He really don't play three level chess too well. 

[That's because it bores him. Karl Rove prefers to play fifth dimensional chess with his inside moves blocked from your view by a space/time continuum shield.]

Far more damaging . . . and something that has concerned me is, what if there's absolutely nothing wrong with "W"illards tax returns. That would look bad for us. I so hope I'm just a tad paranoid. 

[What a dirty rotten Rovian trick. All this time Romney's tax returns have absolutely nothing wrong with them. Damn you Karl Rove! Damn you Harry Reid for being a Perfect Rovian Puppet!]

The only other individual who was King of the Fake-Out was Andy Kaufman. 

[WILLIAM RIVERS PITT and Jason Leopold are sad that you left them out.]

Rove is really sublime at his craft. What I expect is a little different from yours: Rove will release the true factual tax return and then claim it's fake. 

[Not subtle enough for Rove. He would prefer to call it an audit of WILLIAM RIVERS PITT'S trust fund.]

Romney's new ad is criticizing Obama for saving the auto industry! I think this will backfire big. 

[Because we all know just how wonderful the Chevy Volt's sales are. Thank you for that insight, DUmmie louis-t who I assure everybody is NOT Karl Rove. Got that? DUmmie louis-t is NOT Karl Rove.]