Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Keef Grief, Part Too: The Meltdown continues . . .



There is too much Keef Grief in DUmmieland for any one DUFU to cover! Indeed, this could be a multiple DUFU day! (And then there's the SOTU tonight.)

The Meltdown continues, and in this edition, we'll sample from a number of Olbie threads, starting with this
THREAD, "Olbermann Out At MSNBC."

So let us return to the Keef Grief Support Group, otherwise known as DUmmieland, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--willing to take Keef on as our DUmmie FUnnies intern/gofer, but would have to clear it with PJ and the Beaver--is in the [brackets]:

"MSNBC and Keith Olbermann have ended their contract," said the network in a statement late Friday. "The last broadcast of Countdown with Keith Olbermann will be this evening. MSNBC thanks Keith for his integral role in MSNBC's success and we wish him well in his future endeavors."

[Translation: Don't let the door hit you on the way out.]

Hopefully, he'll be picked up by someone else

[The police, for vagrancy?]

Nope. Non-compete clause.

[Nope. Non-competent clause.]

So... this was his last day on the air ever?

[FOR-EV-ER!]

ha ha did the precious agree to the non compete clause for a crap load of cash?

[Hmm, you seem like you're a non-Keef fan.]

I will never turn on MSNBC again.

[Join the club!]

He just spoke too much truth to power. . . .

[Drink up!]

take a good look folks...the only "Edward R. Murrow" of our generation has left the building.

[I think of Keith more as the Edward R. Moron of our generation.]

Did Obama get KO fired?

[BO: NO MO KO!]

He's not dead. Keith will reappear--somewhere, bigger and better than ever.

[Yes! Clap your hands if you believe in Keef! C'mon, everyone! Clap! Louder!]

Why, God, Why?

[Why Do Bad Things Happen to Bad People?]

He should promptly be added to Broadcast Journalism's Hall of Fame, if there is such a thing.

[Sorry, I think he was on the juice.]

Makes me want to vomit! I mean why??

[Could be the five slices of Domino's on top of the doobie and the beer. Back off, man!]

This is f***ing MINDBLOWING!!!!

[Then it shouldn't affect you.]

Who will be replacing him?

[I nominate Ted "Golden Voice" Williams.]

I think I'm going to cry.

[Thank you, Johnnie Ray.]

See the 14,231 threads for details.

[Every one of Keef's viewers posted a thread.]

F***. F***ityf***f***f***.

[My asterisk button is wearing out.]

If CNN were smart . . .

[OK, stop right there. . . .]

Re: Keith resigning/ousted/whatever happened...it just doesn't matter. If you look at the actual number of people who watch all of the talking bobble-heads on all of the cable "news" shows, it's just over 5 million people combined. That's just over (drumroll, please) 1.5% of the population! Big deal. Most people don't even know who these people are, much less give a damn what they're instructing their viewers to think.

[And YOU, DUmmie itsallhappening (46 posts), you get the Kewpie Doll for this Brief Moment of Mental Clarity®! Although I'm not sure you'll make it to 47 posts. . . .]

True, but there are only 166,913 users here on DU

[913 DUmmies and 166,000 LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!!]

Keith is like a God to some who post here. . . .

[Hey, better than that! You guys HATE God, but you LOVE Keith!]

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!

[Needs more punctuation: AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!]

Rachel is on Bill Maher tonight

[I highly doubt that.]

It will be interesting to see what Rachel does.

[Some people are into that.]

Welcome to Du and the support grief group for Olbermann.

[I did NOT see this post when I wrote my intro to this DUFU!]

Dearest Keith - I know you read DU: So simply put: WE LOVE YOU AND WILL FOLLOW YOU WHEREVER YOUR CAREER LEADS YOU.

[We love you, Keefie, oh yes we do . . .]

I will follow you anywhere. Except Faux. Please find a home soon!

[Keef the Homeless will soon be taking up residence in the back seat of a car with Bobo the Hobo.]

Start a Petition to get him back...Just start a Petition. BRING KEITH BACK TO MSNBC.

[DUAC! DUAC!]

I'm in total shock!! . . . Keith held my sanity during the Bush years. . . .

Keith, I thank you for giving me my sanity back during those very dark Bush years. . . .


[The DUmmies like to use this "kept my sanity" line. Last week it was ten years of DU that kept their sanity. Now it's Keefie. But the real question is: Did they ever have any sanity to KEEP?]

You are my generation's Walter Kronkite.

[You are my generation's Watta Krackpot.]

I LOVE YOU, KEITH!

[Signed, Keith]

Mr. Olberman, take a cue from Cenk Uygur. . . .

[Take a q and put in some more vowels.]

keep speaking truth to greedy, arrogant power.

[Another drink!]

many thanks for speaking truth to power all these years, sir!

[Again!]

So Keith, What's Neeeeeeext??????

[A life of eeeeeees!!!!!!]

Hey Keith! How you doin'?

[Hey DUmmie ellie! I'm DUin'!]

I am furious that he's gone.

[You were furious when he was there. Furious is DUmmie homeostasis.]

The world needs Keith!

[What the world . . . needs now . . . is Keef, sweet Keef . . .]

There's a Keith shaped hole in my heart tonight.

[And a brain-shaped hole in your head.]

I just don't know whether to cry, scream or kick the sh*t out of something. THIS ABSOF***INGLUTELY SUCKS!!!!!

[Go for it all.]

I'm off to the corner to weep.

[Be sure to wail and gnash your teeth, too.]

A good man who spoke truth to power. . . . nobody on cable news spoke truth to power with the passion and intensity of Keith.

[A *double* STTP!! L'chaim!]

Please find some other medium (YouTube, etc) to continue speaking truth to power.

[Man, I'm getting SLOSHED here!]

Stunned

[Stoned.]

Keith, I will miss the hell out of you...you spoke truth to power. . . .

[WHOOPEEEEEEEEE!]

TMZ says Keith wanted more money. Sorry, I can't support that. How much is enough? He's already making $8 million dollars a year. Sounds like he's being a tad greedy.

[Ruh roh. . . .]

I won't miss Keith Olbermann. He's an ass who thinks he's smarter than you.

[HERETIC!]

Funny thing... KO's tenure on TV at MSNBC came to and end because he wanted more money. KO? Our side? What a joke. In the end, he showed himself to be one of "them". I'll do what I do if you give me MORE MONEY, and if you don't give me more money, f*** you and here's to me.

[NO NO! NOT OUR KEEF! LA LA LA LA!!!! I CAN'T HEEEEEEEEEEAR YOU!!!!!!]

many of us worship the ground upon which he walks. We feel he is infallible, and our world has no meaning without him and his large vocabulary. I'm not sure how we can go on living...I suppose heavy medication will be necessary.

[I detect a note of sarcasm. Hee! Hee!]

6 Comments:

Anonymous Shambhala said...

Rachel is on Bill Maher tonight

[I highly doubt that.]



ROFL.
Yeah, that would be an "eeeewww!" moment

6:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ahhahahahahaha

You're on fire Charles keep it up. This could probably be a 20 volume series.

How many DUmmies will be upset about him being a greedy capitalist? I'm sure they will all look the other way on that point. I would probably die of laughter if he lost his entire audience over it. The irony knows no limits with the prog and d's.

I don't know if you're completely hammered yet if not, "Speak truth to power!!!!!!" and Speak truth to power but passionately this time!!!!

You hit the DUmmie load!


Johnny 5 is alive

11:40 PM  
Anonymous envisio said...

"""That's just over (drumroll, please) 1.5% of the population!"""

HAHA. And KO has about 5% of that. So that leaves 99.98% of the population asking "who is Keith Olderman?"

Dummies... they really do think that the world recognizes the things that happen in the bubble they live in.

11:31 AM  
Anonymous KayInMaine said...

I GOT NEW FLANNEL SHEETS FOR THE MOST EXCELLENT BARACK SPEECH LAST NIGHT. MAXIMIZED THE PLEASURE!!!!!!!

12:28 PM  
Anonymous Shambhala said...

@ K I M


EEEEEEWWWWWW!!!
Skanky bitch with smelly crotch.

1:30 PM  
Anonymous Skully said...

"Dearest Keith - I know you read DU: So simply put: WE LOVE YOU AND WILL FOLLOW YOU WHEREVER YOUR CAREER LEADS YOU."

So DUmmies are willing to follow Kieth into the sewer... Do they realize they will have to actually leave mommy's basement?? If they do hope they bathe; don't need the sewers smelling like moonbat.

7:28 PM  

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