Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Keef Grief: DUmmies KO'd by Olbermann firing!



It's . . . TEOTWAWKI !!!!!! OMG OMG OMG !!! Keef has been FIRED!!!!! OH NOES!!

The canning of Keith Olbermann Friday night came like a swift punch to the solar plexus. The DUmmies were KO'd! They were devastated! Overwhelming Keef Grief! Elisabeth K├╝bler-Ross would have a field day with these folks. (BTW, why can they never get to "acceptance"?)

Their initial denial quickly turned to anger, of course--these are the DUmmies we're talking about. They're AS MAD AS HELL AND NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! It's a KOmkast KOnspiracy! Bush's fault! Rove! Palin! Fox! ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!! The fact that Keefie happens to be the Worst A$$hole on Television--well, tied for worst, with Bill Maher--that doesn't enter in.

The KO shocker instantly took over ALL of DUmmieland. DOZENS AND DOZENS of threads--almost as many as Keef's viewers! We'll start with this
THREAD, "Keith Olbermann: 'This IS the Last Edition of Countdown.'"

So let us now go to the Special KOmments of the grieving DUmmies, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets]:

Breaking: Keith Olbermann Out at MSNBC

[. . . {stuned silence} . . . ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!]

Stunning his Countdown audience, Keith Olbermann announced at the very end of his show tonight that this would be the last edition of Countdown.

[NO! . . . {hyperventilating} . . . NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!]

OLBERMANN: "I think the same fantasy has popped into the head of everybody in my business who has ever been told what I've been told: that this is going to be the last edition of your show. You go directly to the scene from the movie 'Network,' complete with the pajamas and the raincoat. And you go off on an existential other-worldy verbal journey of unutterable profundity and vision. You damn the impediments, and you insist upon the insurrections, and then you emit Peter Finch's gutteral resonant ... 'So...' And you implore, you WILL the viewer to go to the window, open it, stick out his head and yell...

[WE'RE AS MAD AS HELL AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!]

"Good night. And good luck."

[No no noooooo . . . {uncontrollable sobbing} . . .]

The first action of a Dictatorship is shut down the Free Press. It wouldn't be long before the O'Reillies, Hannities and Lushballs will be calling for the violent reaction against anyone who opposes their Right Wing Fanaticism.

[D*MN them! FACISTS! They shot Gabby Giffords, now they've killed Keef! VIOLENT facist b*st*rds!! ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!]

I will donate my television to a nursing home with specific instructions to give it to an alzheimer patient so that he/she can forget the crap as soon as they see it.

[NOTHING will be worth watching without Keef!]

Comcast merged with NBC then fired Keith

[It's a KOmkast KOnspiracy! And Fox probably owns KOmkast! D*MN them!

Wonder when Rachel will get booted?

[I think she wears the boots only on certain nights.]

WTF? Does anyone know why this happened?

[Gaia hates you.]

We still have BBC

[Think about that for a minute, folks. "We still have BBC."]

Europe or Canada is looking better and better to me

[Can we help you pack?]

The real question is whether Keith has a gag clause

[I had a gag clause whenever I tried to watch Keith.]

He will have a fabulous internet career.

[We here at DUmmie FUnnies could use an intern, I suppose. Someone to keep Li'l Beaver in cigars, coupon clipper for PJ. . . .]

We can also draft KO to run for office -- how about president?

[KO to primary BO? YESSS!!!]

Maybe he can work w/ Dan Rather?

[What's the frequency, Keith?]

The freeperoids will be celebrating.

[On the contrary. Keef has always been GREAT for the DUmmie FUnnies!]

Anyone want to start a rumor that Keith Olbermann left MSNBC to become White House Press Secretary. . . ?

[It's down to Keef and William Rivers Pitt.]

Wow who will speak for the little guy now?

[Robert B. Reichhhhhhhhhhhh-uh!]

Ummmm WTF just happened? was Olbermann taken off the air or what?

[Just waking up. The drugs are wearing off.]

I'm finished w/ this whorporate bullsh*t. . . . The whorporate right has pulled the chair away just as we thought we had a spot to sit and rest.

[C'mon, you'll kick the football this time, Charlie Brown!]

comf***ingcastic

[New all-purpose curseword, "comf***ingcastic."]

I could just cry.

[You know what makes me cry? YOU DO! You jackwagon. . . .]

I'm so stunned.

[My beeber is stuck on "stune."]

This is so heartbreaking for me, but I guess I'll learn to love my comcastic overloards. . . .

[Man overloard!]

NOOooooooooo!

[YESssssssss!]

Well, That's It For Me...I no longer understand the world around me. I'm not even sure that it is even important anymore.

[It's TEOTWAWKI !!!]

I. Am. Stunned.

[You. Are. Stupid.]

Countdown was the top rated program on MSNBC

[Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.]

OMG. I'm gonna miss KO SO MUCH!!! He's a voice of reason in the insanity. Comcast SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS and SUCKS SOME MORE!!!!!!

[Yes, the voice of reason.]

Keith is an all-round swell egg.

[Keith is an all-round swelled ego.]

[Well, I can see this KO thing will require a Part Too. Miles to go before we freep. . . .]

9 Comments:

Anonymous JK said...

About frickin' time!

Now more. More! MORE! More sweet, sweet schedenfreudilicioius tears of the DUmmies.

C'mon. This is clearly the tip of the iceberg. I'm hungry for more DUmmie DEspair.

12:27 PM  
Anonymous KayInMaine said...

MY BARACK WILL YANK NAZI HATER *SPIT* ASS LIMBAUGH OFF THE AIR, THROW HIM IN GITMO AND REPLACE HIM EVERYWHERE WITH THE TRUTH - MY SCRUMPDILLYITOUS KIETH OLBERMANN!!!

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

That section on Olbermann becoming the next White House Press Secretary makes perfect sense considering who's in charge at the moment.

1:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Miles to go before we freep. . "

ROFL! Great line.

That's some downright pathetic mourning going on in that Dummie thread. Good grief, don't jump off any bridges people, there is life after Keith Olbermann. Everyone but his 600 viewers realize that.

3:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Europe or Canada is looking better and better to me"-DUmmie


Standards on the left are hitting new lows. It used to take a Republican president for this kind of false promise to show up.

4:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Kay, you are the cure for the Tuesday Blues! Don't ever change.

4:52 PM  
Anonymous KayInMaine said...

ME AND UBER-HAWT VALERIE JARRETT ARE MAKING A BABY TOGETHER!



EAT THAT FACISTS!

5:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Way to go Charles it's here!

"Some times the jokes just write themselves" hahahaha, the DUmmies make it way to easy.

It's almost like they don't comprehend what they are writing? Is irony a requirement of the left or just part of the disorder?

Well look at that I'll just ask KayInMaine she clearly suffers from it.

Kay do you get how ironic you're statement is? Does it even process for you? Do you read that and wonder, "hey that's weird that I would hope the President would stop free speech just like the Nazi's did and then call the person having their first amendment rights violated a Nazi."
Does it ever sink in?

Oh never mind you're busy get'n busy with Valerie Jarrett. psssst you probably shouldn't announce that like it's a great achievement.

Johnny 5 is alive

11:16 PM  
Anonymous tonto's expanding headband said...

"The world needs Keith!"

"There's a Keith shaped hole in my heart tonight."

Damn,I haven't seen so much teenage grief since Kurt Cobain died. So sad, the DUmmies have no one to tell them what they should be thinking. But hope remains so long as Maddow, Sgt. Schultz, Matthews and the assorted loons at MSNBC remain.

5:40 PM  

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