Friday, October 15, 2010

"What are you so angry about?"

An angry DUmmie is a FUnnie DUmmie. And so we here at DUmmie FUnnies are neither surprised nor concerned by the unbridled ANGER of your average moonbat. Why, it's our bread and butter! But it seems at least one DUmmie, TygrBright, is troubled by the unrelenting vitriol being spewed around by her cohorts, as we see here in this THREAD, "What are you so angry about?"

So get out your blood-pressure cuff as we sample some seismic systolic readings, in Stroke-out Red, while the calm commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--like franksolich, mellow, sitting back, relaxing, watching the show--is in the [brackets]:

What are you so angry about?


Did the sun not come up this morning?


Are there no leaves turning beautiful colors in your neighborhood?

[The trees are DYING!]

Is there no music for you to listen to?

[NO! Trees are dying, the earth is heating up, and you can listen to MUSIC???]

Anger raises your blood pressure.


Anger releases stress hormones in your brain and in your body, and those stress hormones make you feel worse.


when you're so angry, all you'll attract is other angry people.

[Why do you think I came to DU?]

There is much to be angry about. People do bad things, people do stupid things, people do mean things.


Do you want to change the world? Then let go of your anger.

[OK, TygrBright, you've convinced me. Take me to my happy place. . . .]

Let go of your anger.

[There, I'm starting to let go. . . . Help me, TygrBright. . . .]

Something good happened to you today. I just know it.

[HOW THE HELL WOULD--woops, sorry, TygrBright, you'll have to bear with me. . . .]

Maybe someone smiled at you.

[Yes, somebody smiled. . . .]

Maybe you heard a lovely melody.

[Lovely! Yes, in fact, I think it was "You Light Up My Life". . . . Or was it "Mandy"? Either way, it was lovely.]

Maybe you saw gorgeous colors in the sky as the sun set.

[Oh, I see gorgeous colors ANY time, whenever I take my special pills. . . .]

Maybe you tasted something that was delicious.

[REPUBLICAN FLESH! Oh, darn it! These angry thoughts keep creeping in! Please continue, TygrBright. . . .]

Maybe you felt warm and comfortable for a while. Maybe, just maybe, if you try, you can feel hopeful about something.

[DEATH TO REPUBLICANS! Oh, I think I'm losing you, TygrBright! I feel the mellowness slipping away! Help me!]

Let go of your anger.

[Happy place, happy place. . . . centering thoughts. . . . Jamocha Almond Fudge. . . .]

Positive change comes from positive people.

[Are you positive?]

Don't stop fighting. . . . But be a happy warrior.

[I want to DESTROY Republicans! But I'm happy about it!]

There will be a beautiful sunrise somewhere tomorrow. Maybe where you are.

[D*MN! MORE global warming!]

Let go of your anger.

[OK, OK, I'm letting go. . . .]

Breathe deep.

[The gathering gloom. Watch lights fade from every room. . . . Dang! Now you've got me quoting Moody Blues' lyrics! Alright, I'm letting go again. . . .]

Sleep well.


I love you.

[You love me. We're a happ-- OK, centering again. . . .]

I do, you know.

[Group hug!]

But I'm learning, slowly, to be glad I am alive. And to be glad that you are alive. And to try to love you, always.

Let go of your anger, just for a day or two. Let the anger melt out of your body, relax. Move freely. Dance a little. Fling yourself around like a giddy fool.

[OK, I'm giddy! I'm flinging! Oh, this is wonderful! THANK you, TygrBright! Now let's see how our other DUmmies are doing. . . . WHEEEEE!!!!!]

I love you too.


Peace and love!

[See, it's working! Oh joy!]

Here's what Ghandi said about anger. . . .

[IT'S "GANDHI," YOU MORAN! C'MON, GET IT RIGHT! . . . Oh, sorry. . . .]

The Mahatma is not saying 'let go of your anger it is bad' he is saying 'used properly anger can change the world.' . . . The OP says 'anger just raises your blood pressure, so chillax!' and that is not the same thing at all. . . . Gandhi: anger controlled can change the world. OP: Chill out, anger is bad for you. I'm with the Mahatma, frankly.

[DOWN with the OP! UP with the Mahatma!]

Yes, anger is problematic, i.e. look at the anger of some of the tea baggers. . . .

[I HATE those lousy teabaggers! They make me so MAD!!]

I am very sorry, I meant to rec and hit the wrong 'button'. . . . I hit unrec by mistake. . . .

[You did WHAT?!? That's it, I'm hitting Abuse!]

this reminds me of what Bush said after Enron collapse: don't worry about money so much, focus on your family and spiritual things.

[Aha! So THAT'S it! TygrBright must be a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL, trying to lull us into a state of sleepy chillaxity! NO, you WON'T get away with this, Bright! We'll NOT lose our angry!]

If you have to ask this question, then you are part of the problem, not part of the solution.


Sorry if I've offended anyone by seeming to dismiss or belittle your righteous anger.

[Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke. . . .]


Anonymous Corona said...

Watching moonbats trying to calm down is like watching someone trying to bench-press 5 tons.

9:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess there's no such thing as a happy DUmmie.

I think anger is the whole foundation of the DUmmie ideology. If you aren't angry than you aren't paying attention, so you're obviously just a lousy freeper troll.

1:17 PM  

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