Tuesday, October 12, 2010

"Obama is taking the entire party on his skinny shoulders"



Faster than a speeding bail-out. . . . More powerful than a teleprompter. . . . Able to create huge deficits in a single bill. . . .

"Look, down in the polls!" "It's a burden!" "It's a plague!" "It's SUPERBAM!"

Yes, it's SUPERBAM, strange visitor from . . . somewhere . . . who came to the White House with powers far beyond those of his abilities. SUPERBAM, who can change the Court with wise Latinas, spend and steal with his Barry handouts, and who, disguised as Barack Obama, mild-mannered organizer now a grating metrosexual president, fights a never-ending battle for speaking TRUTH to POWER that GETS IN HIS WAY.


Sooo . . . the guy's poison in the polls right now, and he, personally, is going to lead the party to glorious victory over the next three weeks??? That's the theory of DUmmie impik, here in this
THREAD, "Obama is taking the entire party on his skinny shoulders."

So let us travel to Bizarro World and pick up a copy of the DUmmie Planet, where the newsprint is in Bolshevik Red Ink, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--following up PJ's post of this morning with more DC Comix, making this a DUbble DUFU Day!--is in the [Barackets]:

Obama is taking the entire party on his skinny shoulders

[This sounds like a job for . . . SUPERBAM!]

It's him against the GOP and their billions and billions of dollars.

[Billions and billions of dollars are CHUMP CHANGE for the Man of Steal!]

The rally today in Philadelphia made it very clear: He hardly mentioned the actual candidates names. He told these 18,500 people to go out and vote for HIM.

[The guy's polling barely above leukemia. This may not be a smart move.]

And frankly, that is our only chance.

[Hey, always look on the bright side of life!]

And i'm going to do whatever i can to help this super courageous man.

[Oh, Superbam, how can we ever thank you!! . . . And now let's hear what the other DUmmies think . . .]

??? You are joking, right?

[NO! DUmmie impik is SERIES! Either that, or impik is a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL, just havin' FUn with you guys!]

Now that his administration has alienated the Democratic base to such an extent that the Republicons will probably take over the House, he starts talking.

[All your base are below the bus.]

Well, my good friend President Obama is going to have a little surprise during the primaries in 2012.

[GRAYSON 2012]

Appointing nobel prize winning physicist Dr. Steven Chu to be the U.S. Secretary of Energy was deeply satisfying for a science nerd like myself. And when Obama picked Frances Beinecke, the President of the Natural Resources Defense Council (NRDC) to serve on the BP Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill and Offshore Drilling Commission, I practically danced for joy.

[Yes, Chu and Beinecke--THAT will put us over the top on Election Day! WOO-HOO! Dancing With The Czars, baby!]

Biden told "the base" to stop whining

[Hardscrabble Joe is a graduate of the Dale Carnegie Institute for Winning Friends and Influencing People. "Stand up, Chuck . . . and stop your whining!"]

I wish I could be as oblivious to the facts as you are. That's not a dig or an insult at all. I guess you and I could be walking through the forest and you'd focus on the pretty bark of the nearest tree and how the park ranger recently swept the leaves off the trail while I would have no choice but to focus on the fact that the trail is taking us directly toward a raging forest fire. I'm sorry I can't join you on your appreciation of the pretty bark and the neatness of the trail that is leading us toward imminent disaster. I honestly wish that God had not given me the ability to see both the trees AND the forest. After all, ignorance is bliss.

[No, that's not a dig or an insult at all!]

I could go on but I'm tired of doing your thinking for you. Use your head for more than a hat rack. . . .

[DUmmie txlibdem, you sure know how to not insult people!]

THIS is the whinig Biden is talking about, stop your half cup empty crap

[Yeah! The cup is actually FULL . . . of crap!]

you will see how far with President Obama we've actually come in 2 short years.

[We've got RECORD deficits, bigger than ever! And just wait till health care kicks in! Yes, Obama is doing a LOT!]

Please live in your fantasy universe where betrayal is "building a foundation" if you like it better there. . . . I have a plan to bring about actual change - dump Obama in the 2012 primaries and bring in a true Democrat.

[Eugene V. Debs, Now More Than Ever]

What would be your idea of a "True Democrat"? Howard Dean . . . ? Dennis Kucinich . . . ? Or somebody even LESS electable.

[Alvin Greene: Flirt Like a Butterfly, Swing Like a "D"]

I'm glad that life under Obama has handed you roses and coffee cake. That's just not what most of his supporters have experienced.

[The Days of Whine and Roses.]

Your "good friend President Obama" will do very well without the professional left and 1000 people on on the Internet who actually believe that they are the base.

[Yes, watch now as SUPERBAM carries the Democratics to glorious VICTORY on November 3! On his skinny shoulders!]

the party? ....... THE WORLD

[Yes, SUPERBAM is carrying the WORLD on his super-shoulders, carrying the WORLD to a New Age of Peace, Progressivicity, and Super-Niceness!!]

Skinny shoulders but he's tough we've got his back (some of us!)

[Thank you, John Kerry!]

And he can skateboard!

[Yeah, well, John Kerry can snowboard!]

We should be laughing, singing, dancing, having a good time...the GOPers are stifling our FUN LEVEL

[C'mon, people, let's all get up and DANCE and SING! Where's that old DUmmie joie de vivre? Laissez les bon temps rouler! Victory is OURS! This election is IN THE BAG! Freudenschade, baby! SUPERBAM is on the job!!!]

He needs to work his skinny ass off..since he's the reason so many Democrats are in serious trouble right now.

[Like a splash of cold water realism in the face of Fantasy Freudenschade-ing, DUmmie girl gone mad closes us out with today's Kewpie-Doll-winning Brief Moment of Mental Clarity®. Congratulations, girl gone mad!]

20 Comments:

Anonymous troglaman said...

"Superbam'

Lame.

11:08 PM  
Anonymous Kirk Johnson said...

"Troglaman'

Fail.

1:02 AM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

"troglaman"

Thanks for your input, Renfield. Now if you would, kindly go back to scratching yourself bloody, soiling your diapers, and baying at the moon.

6:42 AM  
Anonymous Anon 1:50 said...

The hero worship is touching, in a strange, almost pathetic kinda way.

The lack of contact with reality is just downright weird.

9:15 AM  
Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

Sounds like they're auditioning for a remake of 'Downfall.' Updated to speak English, espouse a non-extinct wacko ideology, and wear civilian clothes, of course.

9:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Obama is taking the entire party on his skinny shoulders.."

It's true, the problem is nobody knows WTH he's taking the party. Down into the crapper near as I can tell.

9:35 AM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

"He needs to work his skinny ass off."

Not going to happen, Superbam needs his golf, his vacations and his White House parties. Obama's the laziest President since
Chester Arthur.

1:16 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Lazarus Long, you sir are BRILLIANT...thanks for the good laugh, that Renfield comment was classic and dead on.

4:10 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Now if you would, kindly go back to scratching yourself bloody, soiling your diapers, and baying at the moon." literery laz

OK, I did all that and guess what?...you're still a dumbshit.

Unbelievable, isn't it?

12:02 AM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

"Unbelievable, isn't it?"

What, that you're a diaper soiling, OCD barking moonbat?

Why, no, no it isn't.

7:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fabrication and projection...the hallmark of any good DUmmie!

10:42 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Fabrication and projection...the hallmark of any good DUmmie!" troglanon

You're a fucking dumbass.

Go Dawgs.

1:09 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Fabrication and projection...the hallmark of any good DUmmie!" troglanon

"Classic projection..." elrond

Hmmmm.

Maybe one or both of you (inner elronds) could explain just what projection is.

Then you can explain why you're talking about yourselves because I'm not projecting shit. You are.

Want another example?

"you're a diaper soiling, OCD barking moonbat?" literery laz

This dazzling statement assumes I soil my diapers, have obsessive-compulsive disease, and bark....and I, troglaman, am projecting. Yeah sure.

If you've never witnessed someone projecting about projection, here you go.

Be one or the other, elrond.

1:32 AM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

"This dazzling statement assumes I soil my diapers, have obsessive-compulsive disease, and bark....and I, troglaman, am projecting."

You do and you are.

And you're a repulsive apoplectic dung beetle.

11:00 AM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

"'Classic projection...' elrond"

"Be one or the other elrond"

You appear to be confusing me with someone else, perhaps your inner homo.

1:58 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"You appear to be confusing me with someone else, perhaps your inner homo." elrond

My inner homo isn't concerned about 'projection'. You are. So are a few troglanons, like you.

Explain this phenomena, elrond.

First of all, explain to us all what 'projection' actually is.

Waiting......

11:53 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"You do and you are." literery laz

This is laz's response to my assertion that his inner laz is full of shit. He says I, troglaman "soil my diapers, have obsessive-compulsive disease, and bark".

Know what, laz? You shit hockey pucks, occasionally vomit pleasant smelling lavender sprigs, fart sparkle ponies, and fuck your mother.

Prove me wrong, dude.

12:24 AM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

"You shit hockey pucks...fart sparkle ponies, and fuck your mother."

Yeah, and your asshole confounds the Louvre.

Time to move on.

1:59 PM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

"Prove me wrong, dude."

I'm sane.

You're not.

8:24 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"I'm sane. You're not." literery laz

"You shit hockey pucks, occasionally vomit pleasant smelling lavender sprigs, fart sparkle ponies, and fuck your mother." The Mighty Trog

Prove me wrong, dumbass. I'm just holding you to the same standards you're holding me, pea brain.

12:33 AM  

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