Monday, January 30, 2012

Pitt remembers: "Cindy Sheehan was the first #Occupier."

Ah, the Summer of '05! William Rivers Pitt was the Pied Piper of DUmmieland, prolix prog blogger supreme, leading an army of psychophants enthralled with the Pitt and the Ponderous. True, a chink had emerged in his armor through the Andyscam scandal, but Pied Piper Pitt had recovered nicely and was back to leading the anti-Bush hatefest at the DUmp. Yes, it was a young, vigorous, 33-year-old William Rivers Pitt back then, a rising star in the ranks of the barking moonbats. And William had his eye set on higher things still: talking headness, punditry, a paid position on a political staff--the sky was the limit in the Summer of '05.

Meanwhile, down at the Bush Ranch in Texas, a woman named Cindy Sheehan was making a name for herself by standing in a ditch outside the President's ranch as a form of protest. Gazing down from his barstool in Boston, the aspiring young Pitt saw all the attention Cindy Sheehan was getting and decided to glom on. Thus, donning his Midnight Cowboy gear (pictured above), Journo-activist Pitt, reporting for truthout, set out to stand with Mother Sheehan in her ditch and get the scoop. As he went, Pitt was singing this sanguine song:

Tune: "Take Me Home, Country Roads"

Almost hades, Crawford Texas
Bush Ranch protest, Sheehan doin' talk shows
Press is out there, underneath the tree
Lookin' for some talkers, might as well be me

Country road, make me known
To the place I belong
Guest opinion, TV pundit
Make me known, country road

All my DUmmies rally round me
Mindless, lazy, looking for a leader
Read my bloggings, written on the fly
Boring waste of bandwidth, glazing of the eye

Country road, make me known
To the place I belong
Guest opinion, TV pundit
Make me known, country road

I wear a hat, in the mirror I see Eastwood
The ladies on DU think that I'm hot when I pose
But sweatin' in the sun I get the feelin'
That I should have worn some lighter clothes, lighter clothes

Country road, make me known
To the place I belong
Guest opinion, TV pundit
Make me known, country road

Country road, make me known
To the place I belong
Guest opinion, TV pundit
Make me known, country road . . .

Ah, the Summer of '05! Those were the glory days, the salad days, the halcyon days for young William Rivers Pitt. But then came the Spring of '06. Fitzmas. Freudenschade. The Rove indictment scoop. 24 business hours. Pitt's fate was sealed vs. sealed. No more dreams of TV punditry. No more chance of working on a political staff. Now Mumsy would have to support Wee Willie in perpetuity. Bouncer at Bukowski's, free-blogging for truthout--that would be about as high as the Pitt star would rise. From the penthouse to the outhouse. From sensation to laughingstock. And so it was that, just a year after bravely standing in the ditch, Pitt was in the pits, and he was singing a different tune:

Tune: "Everybody's Talkin' at Me"

Everybody's talkin' 'bout me
I don't hear a word they're sayin'
Only the hands held on my ears

People mock and laughin'
I can't see their faces
'Specially in case I disappear

I'm goin' where I stand with Sheehan
In a roadside ditch
Goin' where the weather suits my clothes

Headin' off to my happy place
Even if in my mind
And skippin' over the dancepad in my home

Now it is 2012, and at 40 years old, an older and sadder William Rivers Pitt must desperately cling to those memories of when his star was on the rise. A sad spectacle now is this pitiful Pitt. Like a paunch-gutted, cauliflower-eared prizefighter recalling the days when he was young and fit and in his prime, a long-ago memory is all he has left.

"And then there are these young whipper-snapper 'Occupy' johnny-come-latelys! Claiming the spotlight, are they? Kids these days! They don't know what we grizzled veterans went through back in the days of Bush! Why, we stood in a ditch, uphill, braving ferocious fire ants for two, three hours at a time! And we liked it! They owe us a debt of gratitude! And if they don't give it to us," Pitt says, "by gum, I'll give it to myself!"

Which is what Pitt does, here in this THREAD, "It just occurred to me: Cindy Sheehan was the first #Occupier."

So let us now join William Rivers Pitt as he tries to claim glory for himself by going from--see if you can follow this--from Occupy to Sheehan to himself, in Fire Ant Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, still wondering if the 40 Year Old Insurgent will ever get off his Barcalounger long enough to go to an Occupy protest, is in the [brackets]:

It just occurred to me: Cindy Sheehan was the first #Occupier.

[Yeah, I was trying to figure out a way to take some credit for something, and this just occurred to me!]

I know some here are done with her, and that's fine; everyone is entitled to their opinion.

[I know some here are done with ME, and that's NOT fine.]

But remember 2005. . . .

[I sure do. I've got a whole 2005 shrine here in my apartment: my old dancepad; a "V For Vendetta" poster; a George W. Bush matching dartboard and spittoon; and "My hump my hump my hump my hump my hump" playing in the background.]

the war had been raging for three years, but the media basically hid the war, so it wasn't part of the public consciousness.

[Gee, you're RIGHT, Pitt! There was NOTHING in the newspapers or TV about that Iraq business! We had never even HEARD about it up to that point!]

Until Cindy Sheehan sat down in the mud outside George's ranch in Crawford and refused to leave until she got some answers.

[And no one would have heard about Cindy Sheehan, and thus about the war, until . . . wait for it . . . until . . .]

I was there. . . .

[Yes, there it is, folks! Until WILLIAM RIVERS PITT was there. William Rivers Pitt, the Ernie Pyle of the ditch.]

I was there, and it was a privilege to be a part of.

[Even though I had to leave my motel room that afternoon and spend a couple of hours actually at the ditch and it was hot and I got sweaty a little bit and those d*mn fire ants were biting at my ankles and then when I got back to the motel I couldn't find a sports bar to watch the Red Sox. . . .]

When she was done, the war had a face...and from that point on, support for the war went into the tank.

[Nope, no other factors. Just Cindy and me.]

She was the first one.

[And I . . . was there.]

[The DUmmies respond . . .]

she rubbed me the wrong way. . . . Sorry, I just think she took advantage of a situation.

[What about the guy who took advantage of the woman taking advantage of a situation? How does he rub you?]

Nobody ever had a sit in before her?

[Nope, she was the first. The OWSies owe everything to her--and to Pitt, of course. Pitt explains . . .]

I suppose I'm speaking of the 21st century Bush/post-Bush phenomenon of Occupy, dealing specifically with the issues of these days.

[Time is divided into Pre-Pitt and Post-Pitt. Pre-Pitt doesn't count.]

I didn't say she was the first "sit-in." I said she was the first #Occupier. A fine hair to split, but there it is.

[William doesn't have many hairs to split these days, but if he can find one, he'll split it.]

[Another DUmmie chimes in . . .]

I was there too. Met at the house then headed out to the ranch; Code Pink was there, so were Iranian dissidents; lots of comraderie, music and free food.

[Tofuburgers, Dixie Chicks, Iranian dissidents, Medea Benjamin in pink tights--what more could you want?]

Cindy was antecedent and inspiration to Occupy, no doubt.

[And all those anti-war protests that took place after Bush left office and Obama the Bomber took over and continued the illegal wars. Yes, all of those massive anti-Obama protests that . . . that . . . hmmm. . . .]

I had not thought of Cindy in a while.

[The question is: Had you thought of Will Pitt for a while? That is the reason for the post.]

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Brewer Is Simply . . . One Poke Over the Line

Kneel before Barack! Bow to Obama! Our President must be treated with the UTMOST respect at all times!

Now say you are a governor of a state and you come out to greet the President at the airport, even though he is a member of the other party and his policies are hurting your state, and you meet him on the tarmac, but then you get into a bit of a heated back-and-forth with him, and in the course of the argument you DARE to raise your finger toward him for a moment, and a photographer with a zoom lens snaps a picture of it, and you are a Rethuglican, and you are white, and you are a woman, and your skin is somwhat wrinkly from being 67 years old and living in Arizona, and your chin is a little pointy--well THEN, you must be a RACIST, a WITCH, and a B*TCH!

The DUmmies are laying this kind of a beating on Arizona Governor Jan Brewer, who dared to diss Dear Leader. Multiple threads at the DUmp to choose from; we'll go with this THREAD, "Did I just see that crazy woman Brewer sticking her finger in Obama's face?" and this THREAD, "Arizona Governer Waives her Finger in the president's face."

Of course, the FUnnie thing here is the gross HYPOCRISY of the DUmmies. They themselves were OK with "disrespecting the President" when it was Chimpy McBushitler. They themselves have criticized Obama for being too centrist, and that's OK, but if Republicans criticize Obama, it must be because they're racist. The DUmmies decry sexism in others, but they themselves unleash sexist attacks on Governor Brewer. Hypocrisy, thy name is DUmmie!

Before we get to the DUmmies, though, here's a brief report on what happened on the tarmac:

It was clear from the moment they greeted one another on the tarmac that this wouldn’t me your typical grip and grin. At one point, she was pointing her finger at him, and at another, they were talking at the same time, seemingly over each other. Then he appeared to walk away from her while she was still talking.

It started when she handed him a letter and said she was inviting him to meet with her. The president replied that he’d be glad to meet with her again “but did note that after their last meeting, a cordial discussion in the Oval Office, the governor inaccurately described the meeting in her book,” a senior administration official said.

He was referring to her book, “Scorpions for Breakfast,” which is harshly critical of the president. The pair has clashed sharply on immigration policy, with the Obama administration suing Arizona to block its enforcement measure. In the book, she described an Oval Office meeting, and claimed he was lecturing and patronizing, something the White House says is not true.

So let us now hear from the DUmmies, in high DUdgeon and in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, proud to note that Governor Brewer is a fellow Missouri Synod Lutheran, is in the [brackets]:

Did I just see that crazy woman Brewer sticking her finger in Obama's face?

[She's a crazy woman and a racist!]

She is evil!

[Redundant. She's a Rethuglican.]

He should bite it off.

[Finger food.]

but I'd be afraid of getting rabies.

[. . . said the barking moonbat, frothing at the mouth.]

He should have headbutt her..might have knocked some sense into her.

[I like headbutts and I cannot lie . . .]

What a f***ing shrill harpy!!!

[DUmmieland is a sexism-free zone.]

Such disrespect, it's unreal.

[Eight years of spewing rage and venom at Bush: Perfectly fine. Eight seconds of raising a finger to Obama: Unbelievable! Inexcusable!]

I can't remember a president consistently treated with this much disrespect.

[Google "," within a date range of January 20, 2001, and January 20, 2009--any thread, it doesn't matter--and it may jog your memory.]

this has been over the top. . . .

[Brewer is simply . . . one poke over the line.]

She looks like the Wicked Witch of the West.

[She's a witch! BURRRRN her!!!]

I read lips ... she said ... "How DARE you be President while black!!!" Then it appears that Obama responded with ... "B*tch, please ... "

[She's a witch AND a b*tch!]

The look on his face seems to be saying 'thanks for your highly valued opinion insane person. BTW your dentures are falling out again.'

[Speaking tooth to power!]

I would have loved to see two or three SS men deck her.

[Feel the love!]

What's that about indefinite detention? Take her now.

[Gitmo, then The Hague!]

Arizona Governer Waives her Finger in the president's face

[DUmmie postor waves her write to a dictionery.]

Why are the Republican leaders in this country so farkin' disrespectful??

[Those Rethuglican leaders are a bunch of farkin' b*st*rds!! We HATES them!!]

These Repukes need to get a few lessons in how to treat a sitting President. . . .

[I guess Chimpus Khan never sat down.]

I'd like to wave my middle finger at Jan.

[Surprised Barry didn't . . .]

Did she call him "Boy"?

[Let's jump on her for things she DIDN'T do!]

I want to rip her finger off and shove it up her @ss.

[benburch says, "Here! Over here, please!"]

That wrinkled up old battleaxe needs to go away.

[Go back to the Axes of Evil!]

"Condescending": Code for "uppity Negro", I'm quite confident in this case.

[Who does that shrill harpy battleaxe b*tch think she is??]

She's a witch!!!! Look at that chin!!

[Somebody get a duck!]

The problem with that picture is that it doesn't include two rather large Secret Service guys removing her limp lifeless body from the tarmac.

[DUmmie ashling, in a field loaded with many worthy candidates, YOU take the cake for today's Peace, Love, and Tolerance Award®! Congratulations!

She has an incredibly pointy chin. What up wit dat?

[The witch is pointing her CHIN at him, too! Unbelievable!]

- - - - -


From the wag tailoring the doggerel . . .

By Brewer, and Sharply
Tune: "One Toke Over the Line"
By Brewer and Shipley

One poke over the line, Jan Brewer
One poke over the line
Showin' up O on an airport tarmac
One poke over the line
Hatin' on the Prez, there goes no DUer
Pointin' at the Prez is a crime
Showin' up O on an airport tarmac
One poke over the line

Who do you hate?
Our President
'Cause he's a black man
We know that's what you meant
We saw you point and we saw the pointy chin
That makes you a witch
No, you don't have a loving heart like us
You lousy racist b*tch!

And now you're one poke over the line, Jan Brewer
One poke over the line
Showin' up O on an airport tarmac
One poke over the line
Hatin' on the Prez, there goes no DUer
Pointin' at the Prez is a crime
Showin' up O on an airport tarmac
One poke over the line

You dared to raise
Your finger tip
At King Obama
You even gave him lip
Your mean angry words and your digital salute
Came as no surprise
Like every hateful despised Repuke
We hope that you will die!

And now you're one poke over the line, Jan Brewer
One poke over the line
Showin' up O on an airport tarmac
One poke over the line
Hatin' on the Prez, there goes no DUer
Pointin' at the Prez is a crime
Showin' up O on an airport tarmac
One poke over the line . . .

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

DUmmies Rage Against Dead Cat "Hate Crime"

QUICK! What is the name of your Congressman? If you are reader of the DUmmie FUnnies, it probably means you are more politically aware than the average person so most of you know the answer to that question. However, let me make it even tougher for you...What is the name of one of your incumbent's announced opponents? Not so easy but I figure a fraction of you out there also know the answer to that so allow me up ramp up the difficulty of this quiz.... What is the name of the campaign manager of the opponent of your congressman? I bet I winnowed out maybe 99% of you but I am still not satisfied. I am going to make it still harder for you with this question: What is the home address of the campaign manager of the announced opponent of your congressman? If there are any of you left in the double digits I would be surprised. In fact, at this point I bet NONE of you know the answer to that question. However, I am still not satisfied. To make it harder yet I am going to hit you with my final question: Can you identify the pet living at the home address of the campaign manager of your Congressman's opponent? If any of you are still left standing, I would be incredibly surprised.

And yet we are expected to believe that a possible "hate crime" occurred because the pet cat of the campaign manager of candidate Ken Aden in Arkansas who is planning to run against the EVIL Republican incumbent Congressman was killed with the word "LIBERAL" neatly etched into its side. Of course, Aden didn't waste much time issuing an OFFICIAL Press Release denouncing this act. Yes, this could well be a "Hate Crime" every bit as valid as that suffered by poor Professor Kerri DUnn(ce) of Claremont McKenna College several years ago. Fortunately the perpetrator of that heinous "Hate Crime" was caught as you can see in this NEWS STORY.

As can be expected, the DUmmies are in a state of extreme OUTRAGE over this "Hate Crime." They currently have a total of SEVEN threads convicting the EVIL Republicans of this foul deed. The longest of these is this THREAD, "Democratic Congressional Campaign Manager's Family Pet (Cat) Killed, Painted With 'Liberal'." So let us now watch the DUmmies express outrage at a "Hate Crime" every bit as verifiable as Karl Rove's May 12, 2006 arrest in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, calling upon former psychology professor Kerri DUnn to become the lead investigator in this case, is in the [barackets]:

Democratic Congressional Campaign Manager's Family Pet (Cat) Killed, Painted With "Liberal"


RUSSELLVILLE—On the heels of a weekend of positive news coverage for the campaign of Democratic Congressional candidate Ken Aden, Aden’s campaign manager returned home to find his family pet slaughtered, with the word “liberal” painted on the animal’s corpse.

[Make that NEATLY painted. No spray paint can could make those letters so neatly. Either a Sharpie or airbrush did the lettering. The perp must have had time on his hands and wanted to make sure that "LIBERAL" could easily be seen by all. Get it? WINK! WINK!]

The Russellville Police Department is investigating, and a report will be made to the Federal Bureau of Investigation Monday morning.

[Just a hint here but when a guy's wife is murdered, the husband is the first one investigated. Wonder if the same should apply to murdered pets?]

Jacob Burris, who has served as Aden’s campaign manager since late October, arrived home with his family Sunday evening, and his four children discovered the gruesome scene as they exited the family vehicle to enter their home.

[And of course, the ID of Burris as Aden's campaign manager was widely known to many in that district to the point that his cat and its whereabouts were also well known.]

The family pet, an adult, mixed-breed Siamese cat, had one side of its head bashed in to the point the cat’s eyeball was barely hanging from its socket. The perpetrators scrawled “liberal” across the cat’s body and left it on the doorstep of Burris’ house.

["Perpetrators?" So obviously there was a gang of them. Oh, and was the name of the cat either "Kerri" or "DUnn?" And now to the DUmmies outraged over this "Hate Crime" to the point that this is only ONE of SEVEN threads devoted this this topic...]

republican morals at work.

[Go straight to jail. Do not stop at GO or anything resembling a trial.]

Exactly what you'd expect from the party of family values.

[Make Kerri DUnn the lead prosecutor in this open and shut case!]

The local police probably have a good idea who in their community is that crazy and violent.

[And armed with a very convenient Iwata airbrush.]

It's Russellville, Arkansas! I think half the town could be suspect.

[EVIL Rightwingers with BLOOD on their Fingers!!!]

WE and OCCUPY are next, if we dont win this thing for sanity.

[Will you kindly hold still while I neatly airbrush "LIBERAL" on your ample tush?]

I hope animal cruelty carries a heavy penalty in AR since this act seems like it was committed by someone familiar with the family and home.

[Yes, the perp must be VERY familiar with his family and home. Gee, I wonder who that could be?]

It should be classified as a hate crime.

[Absolutely! This is every bit as much a hate crime as all that hate graffiti painted all over the car of Kerri DUnn.]

It could possibly be classified as "terrorism". The intent seems to be to terrorize.

[Kerri DUnn is still quite shaken up by the terrorism she had to endure.]

Under the Patriot Act this is classified as terrorism. Seriously. Put the asshole in Gitmo.

[That would be a tough place to manage a congressional campaign from.]

Blatant violent threats. From a coward who bravely faced a house cat.

[Just curious but was that cat locked in the house? And if so, how did the perp enter the home without breaking the lock? If the cat was walking around outside, how did the perp even catch the cat? Ever try to chase down a cat outdoors? It's no easy task since the cat will be faster than you plus have the advantage of jumping over fences and quickly scurrying up trees. Perhaps this perp was the greatest physical athlete in Arkansas...or maybe the cat knew the perp. Hmmmmm....]

Poor little kittyfur having to endure the psychotic tantrum of Republicans.

[Was Tweety wearing his GOP badge while badgering Sylvester?]

Fire will be next, then attempted homicide. They need to watch for firebombs through the front window or a garage/garbage bin fire.

[How does that compare to tossing empty pizza cartons through the basement window?]

There’s no doubting this was political. There’s no doubting it’s another hideous example of right wing terrorism.

[Is that you, Kerri DUnn?]

Seriously, has any liberal ever done this kind of thing to a conservative? Or to another living thing?

[Conservatives are not healthy for liberals and other living things.]

It had to be someone who knew the guy & also knew he had a cat. It was not just a random act of some people who happened by and committed the act. I think the sicko lives close by as well.

[You're getting waaaaarmer you LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Yes, someone who was familiar with the property and the cat

[Yes, someone VERY familiar with the property and the cat.]

Someone form outside who intended harm could not know for certain that the cat belonged to them- it was extremely deliberate and the only way
it could be so was if the perp KNEW the cat lived there.

[Or even...KNEW the cat so well that it did NOT run away. Hmmmm...]

I am sick. How could anyone do that.

[The words "political opportunism" come to mind.]

Does anyone remember the film "Cabaret?" A very similar thing happened in that film. The perps were Nazis.

[Oh Fatherland, Fatherland,
Show us the sign
Your children have waited to see.
The morning will come
When the cat is mine.
Tomorrow belongs to me!]

Conservatives kill helpless pets.

[And all this time I thought they only sucker punch helpless midgets.]

Get this story on MSNBC, CNN. I emailed Ed Shultz, at least I think I did with this story link attached to it. Media needs to expose these rat faced teapigs.

[The FUnniest part about this story will be when it BOOMERANGS on the DUmmies.]

I try to be a pacifist, but I believe in self-defense more. In a confrontation, I'd try to avoid any physical action with these neanderthals but if push literally came to shove I'd have no problem using the karate techniques I've been practicing for a few years now on them.

[This DUmmie has been studying karate by watching Billy Jack movies and will be surprised when he gets his ass kicked by a small chick.]

May some karmatic justice be swiftly served to the depraved fucks who did this

[Oh it will. It will. And watch out for that karmatic boomerang.]

I can't get the mental image from this story out of my mind and the level of anger isn't waning. God, I hope they find this vile son of a bitch.

[Spaketh the future boomerang casualty.]

Let's hope the drooling subhuman cat-murderer is hunted down and killed.

[But then Aden will have to put an ad in Craig's List looking for a new campaign manager.]

Jesus. I'm going to go have a good cry now.

[Jesus wept.]

That poor creature! Republican propaganda has generated an atrocity. I think this will shake up the news for the next few days.

[Yeah, I can just see the campaign manager thinking, "Hey, I didn't know an in depth investigation was going to be part of the deal!"]

This story is not allowed on the FreeRepublic website.

[Sorry but it IS allowed. However, this story will NOT be allowed in DUmmieland after it boomerangs.]

Anyone brave enough to venture over to Freerepublic and see what those sick troglodytes are saying?

[They are waiting to see what Lt. Columbo pausing and turning at the doorway of the campaign manager is saying: "Just one more question."]

Saturday, January 21, 2012

"I marvel at how . . . Republicans vote against their self-interests"

Above we see DUmmiettes undergroundpanther, kpete, and Sarah Ibarruri working on their posts--trying of course to make it into the DUmmie FUnnies. And it worked! Thursday it was undergroundpanther with "Why I hate the rich..." Yesterday it was kpete with "Why Not Rob The Rich?" And now today it's Sarah Ibarruri with this THREAD, "Every day I marvel at how poor and middle class Republicans vote against their self-interests."

The Three Little Progs and their posts: It's a trifecta of class warfare! So let us now hear from Sarah Ibuprofen and her fellow travelers, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, thinking that the Three Little Progs should stay away from the Huffingandpuffington Post, is in the [brackets]:

Every day I marvel at how poor and middle class Republicans vote against their self-interests. . . .

[Every day I marvel at how the DUmmies don't get why conservatives are conservative.]

people whose very life is precariously balancing on a high wire choose to vote for those who persistently destroy American life for the poor and middle class, and ensure they never get out of the hole.

[That would actually be the Democrat base, who vote for those who created and perpetuate the Great Dependency Society.]

poor and middle class Republicans don't like being made to feel stupid. . . . Republicans talk on the same level as people who don't have a great deal of education. . . . HOW did poor and middle class Republicans come to regard education as elitist? WHEN did education become something to be despised, rather than something to be strived for? WHY did ignorance become something to be proud of?

[Sarah Imadummi, let's compare the educational levels of Republican voters with Democrat voters, shall we? I don't think you want to go there. But you will.]

Republicans . . . don't bother people with statistics, with numbers, and they engage in a good amount of name-calling. They also use a lot of "us versus them" (them being the enemy, of course), which makes the poor and middle class Republican feel important. . . . Democrats use statistics, numbers, and tend not to name call. Democrats tend to the label groups as the enemy far less than Republicans do.

[Name-calling? Labeling enemies? Let's see . . . "Chimpy McBushitler" . . . "Chimpus Khan" . . . "Rethuglicans" . . . "Repukes" . . . "Teabaggers". . . . Nope, you Democrats are as pure as the driven snow!]

Why must intelligence be hidden and relegated to a lower level? Why do poor and middle class Republicans feel that lack of education is desirable?

[Why did I, a middle-class Republican, bother to get a Bachelor's degree, two Master's degrees, be "ABD" on a Ph.D., and learn seven languages? What was I thinking??]

But the problem is that not all of them are stupid. Many are even well educated. . . .

[Someone disturbs Sarah's theory.]

Everyone really should read Tom Frank's "What the Matter With Kansas". . . .

[Everyone really should read PJ-Comix's "What's the Matter with DUmmies."]

I have John Dean's book, Conservatives Without Conscience, and it is spectacular! I couldn't put it down.

[I tried a recipe from Paula Deen's book, "Carbohydrates without Consequence," and it is cardiovascular! I couldn't get my blood sugar down.]

The thing that gets to me is that the religious are supposed to believe in a higher power, try to do good, try to be benevolent, try to be kind, try to help those who suffer the most.

[So get the federal government out of the benevolence business and let the church do her thing. Stop taxing people out the wazoo and we'll have more money to give to charity.]

Instead, their deeds and words reflect hatred, authoritarian attitudes, a love of punishing, a cruel streak from here to there which would make the Marquis de Sade look like Bambi.

[You know what makes me de Sade? YOU DO!]

Get "The Family" because a real eyeliner. . . .

[This educated DUmmie means "it's a real eye-opener" and writes "a real eyeliner." Irony to the max factor.]

hundreds of radio stations and thousands of programs kicking out right wing propaganda. . . .

[The Three Little Progs are afraid of the Big Bad Fox.]

there really isn't anything quite to that level on the left that I'm aware of.

[Let's see . . . CBS, NBC, ABC, PBS, NPR, CNN, MSNBC, Current TV. . . . Shall I go on?]

I got quite close to a right wingnut, and he really has no ability to discuss issues. . . .

[Sarah Ibuprofen reminds us of her experience dating a rethuglican. He treated her like a princess, was very nice and kind, but . . . he was still a rethug. Ick!]

If a person is in the 70th to 90th percentile then generally Republicans will do better for him than Democrats will. . . .

[If people are in the 0th to 51st percentile, the Democrats will try to get them to vote Democrat and take money away from the 49% minority above them.]

As far as left vs. right though, I notice here on DU that discussions of facts do not get much traction. Numbers seem to bore the left too, whereas name-calling draws many more participants.

[Oooh, careful, DUmmie hfojvt, someone may call you a . . .]

I don't buy the whole Jets vs. Sharks divide. Nor do I insist on socialism or an end to the capitalist system.


you will continue to "marvel" for as long as you wrongly believe it is YOU who knows what is in THEIR best interest. It's not about your opinions on education, it's about their views on individual rights and freedoms.

[Oh-oh! ANOTHER LFT comes out of the woodwork! This time it's DUmmie kctim. Please continue, kctim . . .]

Are people who place individual rights and freedoms ahead of statistics and numbers, "voting against their own best interests?" . . . Resorting to weak haves vs have not arguments is not working.

[DUmmie kctim, you are now one of the "haves" who have a Kewpie Doll! Congratulations!]

No one has the "liberty" or a "right," in a decent society, to callously disregard the suffering of their fellow human beings while sitting atop a vast pile of cash, much of which is stashed offshore, and lighting their cigars with $100 bills while virtually pissing on the rest of the country.

[DUmmie hifiguy responds with the $crooge McDuck argument.]

The people you are condemning in your post believe placing the government before citizens is NOT protecting rights and freedoms. It takes freedoms away from citizens and fully gives that power to the government. Government is the ONLY entity with the power to do this.

[DUmmie kctim, I think you're about to feel the power of a tombstone.]

You seem stuck on this 99% vs the 1% nonsense and that the wealthy are all that stands in your way. You are wrong, and you will continue to be wrong as long as half the country keeps believing that it is government who is overreaching.


what another person legally earns is a non-issue that has been turned into an issue for political purposes.


[Enough from kctim. See you in freeperville. Now let's get back to those highly intelligent, non-name-calling, non-enemifying arguments of the progressives . . .]

Nazi Germany backed Hitler because they believed the propaganda and fear. . . . That's not that dissimilar to what Repukes do here. . . .

[Flag on the play! Godwin's rule. #73, Sarah Ibarruri. 15 yards.]

Pol Pot killed off people who wore glasses because they were educated.

[Pot pols cultivate people who smoke grasses.]

And the repugs use the fear card all of the time. . . . People like limpballs. . . . some of these cretins. . . . That's part of what they adore: having an enemy. . . . Repukes. . . . the teabaggers. . . .

[DUmmie discourse at its finest.]

There's no big mystery, it IS simply because they are stupid asses. . . . I know you're asking why they are stupid asses but the answers to that are as varied as the stupid asses are. Some are fearful of learning, some are racists, some are abused, some are brainwashed by propaganda, some are pathological liars, etc... The one common trait is that repukes do not learn from actual information regardless of the reasons why.

[DUmmie just1voice sums it up. But do go on . . .]

It's a hard idea to comprehend, that people who appear to be mentally functional are not but that is indeed the case. I think sometime in the near future our corrupted, for-profit mental health care system will start diagnosing people incapable of learning with appropriately named illnesses and then finally there will be some help for them.

[That's the answer! Lock 'em up! Put those fascist right-wingers in padded cells and throw away the key!]

Republicans vote with their "Black Heart". . . .

[That's racist!]

A working American voting Republicon is like a chicken voting for Col. Sanders.

[A DUmmie is like a birdbrain voting for Bernie Sanders.]

Everyone has priorities. Doesn't mean they're good priorities. Even pedophiles have priorities. Conservatives have different priorities. . . .

[Not satisfied with Nazi analogies, Sarah Ibuprofen now reaches for a pedophile comparison.]

Conservatives' priorities lead them to vote for the most heinous, selfish b*st*rds on the planet, who end up damaging our country, enriching the richest, and impoverishing the rest. They have no sense, don't base these on education or facts, and are infantile in their view of life.

[Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. . . . Conservatives vote for "the most heinous, selfish b*st*rds on the planet"?? Now who is falling in the infantile percentile?]

By the way, I seem to have a fan base of Repigs. If you do a search on the Internet for any sentence in this original post, you will find them discussing it.

[Yes, Sarah Ibarruri, you are a favorite of the DUmmie FUnnies and the Conservative Cave. When you told us about how you were dating a Repig boyfriend who treated you nice but you were conflicted because he was, after all, a Repig--well, Sarah, you stole our hearts. We think of you as DUmmieland's Sweetheart. And so you placed in the Top Ten DUmmies of 2011. And now, with this stupid screed, you have made the DUmmie FUnnies once again. We appreciate it!]

The poor little rats are angry that I call them what they are.

[And we call YOU, Sarah Ibarruri--you and undergroundpanther and kpete--we call you the Three Little Progs. Keep up the good work!]

Friday, January 20, 2012

"Why Not Rob The Rich?"

Class warfare has been the calling card for the Democrats for many a decade. And we see it in full flower over in DUmmieland. Yesterday we heard from DUmmie undergroundpanther, on why she hates the rich. Today we hear from another of the angry DUmmie womyn, DUmmie kpete, on why we ought to rob the rich. It's here in this THREAD, "Why Not Rob The Rich?"

So let us now visit the den of the robber barrens, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--looking forward to the End of an Error one year from today, i.e., January 20, 2013, when President ABO is inaugurated--is in the [brackets]:

Why Not Rob The Rich?

[Well, last time I checked, both "Thou shalt not steal" and "Thou shalt not covet" were still part of the Ten Commandments.]

Why Not Rob The Rich?

[I suppose that makes more sense than robbing the poor.]

Why Not Rob The Rich?

[Fifty years ago this would have been "Why Not Bob the Dick?"]

If 75% of the wealth of the richest one-tenth of 1% of American society were immediately expropriated. . . .

[Is this one of those word problems?]

If 75% of the wealth of the richest one-tenth of 1% of American society were immediately expropriated, there would be no need to discuss cuts to spending that affects the well-being of the vast majority.

[But there would be a need to discuss why it is morally right to steal money from a minority, against their will, in order to give it to the majority. How fair is that??]

This is a democracy, why isn’t this a major topic of public debate?

[This is a multiple-choice question. Choose the best answer:

a. Because the government is already stealing disproportionately and unfairly from the rich.

b. Because Obama isn't facing a primary and therefore doesn't have to reveal his true Bolshevik colors, in order to appeal to the Democrat base. Instead, he has to sound like a conservative, like a tax-cutter, in order to get re-elected.

c. Because a 75% tax rate for the wealthy is too low to satisfy the DUmmies.]

Why aren’t the national media full of debates between defenders of the right of the Koch brothers to keep their billions and advocates for seizing the majority of their fortune to meet human needs?

[The Kochs vs. the Kooks.]

[Now let's hear from the other DUmmies . . .]

If you confiscate the ill-gotten gains of thieves, is it robbery?

[If you assume that anyone who has more money than you got it through thievery and therefore you're entitled to take it from them, are you a Democrat voter? Yes.]

Why not? People of that belief stealing from the rich is wrong always are misguided.

[Yesterday's featured hate-the-rich DUmmie, undergroundpanther, chimes in, arguing that God was misguided when he put that "Thou shalt not steal" commandment in there.]

What happens next year? Presumably, there would be no further ill gotten gains. Rather short-sighted. . . .

[Hmmm. . . . problem. . . . OK then, I guess we have to steal from the next in line. But what if now WE'RE the next in line, because we stole last year's wealth from the rich? Do we then steal from ourselves and give it back to the formerly rich who now are poor? Boy, this is getting complicated!]

Once you "take it back" you don't get to take it back again. It's gone. You have it. Now what do you do next year to cover your budget shortfall?

[OK, DUmmie TomClash, for this comment and your previous one, you receive today's Kewpie Doll, for having a Brief Moment of Mental Clarity™. Congratulations! But watch out for kpete and undergroundpanther. They may try to steal it from you!]

You seem to be suggesting that the money will then vanish and economic activity will come to a halt. Expropriating (and redistributing) wealth probably wouldn't do that. It's more likely to have a stimulative effect.

[So if you tell people, "The more money you make, the more we will steal from you"--THAT'S going to have a "stimulative effect" on production??]

I think we should simply tax the uber-wealthy out of existence. Yearly income greater than $1,000,000? Then tax everything over that at 90%.

[Piker! Make it 100%! Think of the revenue! Think of the stimulative effect!]

Unconstitutional? . . . Unworkable?

[Who cares? Irrelevant.]

I am sure if you ask them nicely they will just give it back.

[How about first asking Warren Buffett, George Soros, Michael Moore, the Kennedys, et al.? Ask THEM to lead the way, voluntarily donating 100% of their billions, so we don't have to rob anybody. Then get back to me, and we'll take it from there. In fact, kpete, from information you have published elsewhere--about your art studio and your very tony address in the San Diego area--it appears that you yourself are pretty well off. KPETE IS A ONE-PERCENTER! SHE'S A RICH! ROB HER!]

Thursday, January 19, 2012

"Why I hate the rich..."

DUmmieland is a hate site. We've been documenting that here at the DUmmie FUnnies for over seven years. And right at the top of the list (tied for first with hatred of Christians and hatred of Rethuglicans) is hatred of the rich. Witness this THREAD by DUmmie undergroundpanther, "Why I hate the rich..." DUmmie undergroundpanther HATES the rich, and she is envious of them.

So let us now feel the hate of the Left, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, rich with comedy GOLD mined from the Democrat Underground, is in the [brackets]:

Why I hate the rich...

[Because they have more stuff than I do, and I don't like it!]

On top of the pathological levels of sociopathic indifference they have twords the pain of others,the horrors they perpetrate against others,against the environment and everything else that exists. Despite the fact they want to OWN and CONTROL the world and if they cannot have it all that they'll make damn sure nothing else can live on/in it either. Even regardless of that zero sum @ss holiness bullsh*t they foist upon everyone by hanging price tags on everything but themselves, to make us all pay the rich MORE..Despite their attempts to own or destroy the commons.On top of their systemic abuse of this entire nation cradle to grave. Or the intrusions their f***ing companies make into our lives,and the petulant demands found in all levels of the hierarchy they whip into submission via lies,debt and free market bullsh*t,and the damage to our collective well being that is done to make sure the rich shall never do without a desire unmet. . . .

[BREATHE, undergroundpanther, breathe! You're off to a rip-roaring start here with your rant, but I'm afraid you're going to spontaneously combust!]

I hate them for even more. . . .

[OK, here we go. UGP was just getting warmed up.]

They get to have have time, Most people have NO time. . . .

[Yet YOU, undergroundpanther, you have plenty of time to write this LOOONG screed against the rich, one of your 11,113 posts. If you had spent half that time making money, maybe you'd be rich, too! Oh, wait. Then you'd hate yourself.]

I hate the rich they always have the means to go places I will NEVER EVER see.

[Like, the place where they work to make the money so they can go places.]

The rich get to go to quality schools with low teacher to student ratios that have time to challenge them if they are smart. . . .

[You don't have to worry about that, UGP.]

they are so removed from the consequences of their lifestyles and greed they can see people like you and I as cattle. . . .

[We shall not be cowed!]

The rich,they never have to do without anything or do anything they don't want to do. . . .

[It's amazing how any of them ever GOT rich or STAY rich, since usually you make money by doing things. It must be magic or something, this getting-rich business.]

They have soft perfect hands because the rich have staff to cook the food,wash the dishes.They won't f*** up the budget because they have top notch professionals to manage the paperwork,manage their f***ing companies for them,workers to make or do the jobs,as they see the money pour in like never ending manna from heaven.

[Don't you think the cooks, dishwashers, top-notch professionals, managers, and workers--don't you think they are kinda grateful the rich have the money to employ them?]

The rich never even have to manage the hassles in maintaining their lives. No budget to speak of,health care,and all the other really insane time occupying BULLSH*T that the 95% of us deal with day in day out. . . .

[I thought it was 99%.]

Like repeating over and over your name/dress/date of birth etc. to a f***ing machine,or going up a phone tree trying to put you off,to get a number to call to go up ANOTHER d*mn phone tree until you find the person that can really fix your reason you called.

[I think someone has had a bad phone day.]

They don't have to worry about forgetting to go wait in line for 3 hours at the DMV to get a little f***ing sticker,with 2011,12,13..on it to put on a corner of a license plate to avoid being charged 70 or 80 bucks,or waiting in a ten mile line at a store.They hire people for pennies to do those unsavory tasks.

[The rich even hire people go to the dentist for them when they have a cavity! It's disgusting!]

I hate the rich because THEY get their organic pure healthy meals DELIVERED to their kitchens where staff cooks it up into beautiful culinary delights.A dinner of mac'n'cheese and tuna mixed in it isn't a culinary delight.

[Why, I bet the rich can get arugula pizza delivered from hundreds of miles away! Maybe even fly the chef in to make it for them! I hate that!]

A dinner out for the rich can cost 1,000 bucks a shot. . . .

[*cough* the Obamas *cough*]

I hate the rich because they'll never experience trying to stay dry in a storm at a bus stop with no shelter hoping the lightening does not hit YOU today.The rich think public transportation is a waste of money,because to the rich it IS. They never need to take it,their drivers are always on call..or they could just take the new benz. . . .

[Undergroundpanther's friends all drive Porsches, she must make amends.]

They'll never have to do the laundry,mow the most stupid thing on earth, the lawn.

[Undergroundpanther wants to get off her OWN lawn!]

They'll NEVER be forced to tolerate being in our presence very long,but somehow despite their callous and cruelty aimed at us they get people like us to fawn over them to,cover their @ss,and they never ever are called out for being the wastes of skin they really ARE.

[OOOH, we HATES them! Nasty, tricksy waste-skinners!]

Why do you never tell them,f*** you I'm not paying you one more dime. . . .

[NOT ONE D*MN DIME DAY! That'll show 'em!]

Their houses are beautiful refuges, places they want to live in. . . .

[Maybe John Edwards will let you stay in his two-Americas-size home. Or dial up the Heinz-Kerrys.]

The rich can have whatever pets they want,who's gonna tell them they can't have a cat in their own home?

[That PJ-Comix has a BEAVER down at DUFU Mansion.]

No cat for you,poor, to love and purr against your touch starved skin.

[No purr for the poor. No cat for undergroundpanther.]

And if the rich feel a teeny bit stressed they can call a chauffeur and go to a spa and get massages. . . .

[That rubs undergroundpanther the wrong way.]

I hate the rich because they are NOT at all better quality of people than I am.Not one iota more deserving,fortunate or hardworking or even noble than I or you,yet they get treated as if they were.

[The money fell out of the sky and landed in their lap! And they're all so EEEEEEEVIL!!!]


[That's kind of what I have gathered, UGP. Message received. Now the other DUmmies respond . . .]

You hate Alan Grayson and Nancy Pelosi?


Substitute 'rich' with 'plutocrats'. . . .

[Substitute 'hate' with 'Democrats.']

the OP has some really bad stereotypes of the rich.

[Ya think?]

It's helpful to dehumanize and demonize those you already hate. . . .

[But, but, the RICH--they're all RETHUGLICANS, and they're all EEEEVIL!!!]

Grayson, FDR was 1 percent. Warren Buffet. . . .

[They're RICH, they're EVIL, they're RETHUG-- no, wait. . . .]

The Devil Wears Prada.

[The DUmmies Read Pravda.]

Haven't you posted this screed before???

[No, I think you're confusing it with the 497 similar screeds posted on DU last week.]

That's a heapin' pile o' hate ya got there.

[A DUmmie high-five for UGP!]

The rich don't even know you exist and wouldn't care if they did.. To them you are less than the imported Himalayan dirt beneath their Guccis. . . .

[And that's why you're the DUmmie UNDERground!]

Monday, January 16, 2012

"President Obama is Beating the GOPers at their own game..Reducing Gov't"

On Friday President Obama unveiled a plan to shrink the size of the federal government. Oh, you didn't know that Mr. Obama was a small-government conservative? Neither did I. But then, this is an election year, isn't it?

You see, in reality, Obozo is the Biggest Big-Government Debtocrat of All Time. But he's got to PORTRAY himself as a cost-cutting, tax-cutting, bin-Laden-killing, Mr. Efficiency, Protector-of-the-Middle-Class conservative, in order to get re-elected. Thus the charade on Friday.

What Dear Reader proposed on Friday is eliminating the Commerce Department. That's right. Not the unconstitutional, budget-draining, debt-increasing, wealth-redistributing departments of a) Education, b) Health and Human Services, and c) Housing and Urban Development. No. Commerce. Ho-hum.

And even that is just a shell game, a rearranging of the deck chairs as the Titanic goes down. Obama merely wants to consolidate some agencies to do the same sorts of things as the Commerce Department does. And the cost-savings, relative to the rest of federal spending, would be a drop in a bucket the size of Montana.

Meanwhile, under Obama's brilliant leadership, in just three years, the national DEBT has increased by OVER FORTY PERCENT, up now to a whopping FIFTEEN TRILLION DOLLARS--and climbing. But this Commerce thing--wow, that'll fix the problem.

Furthermore, now how can the Republicans campaign against him? See, he's a cost-cutter! It's three-dimensional chess, I tell you! That's the approach of DUmmie opihimoimoi, here in this
THREAD, "President Obama is Beating the GOPers at their own game..Reducing Gov't."

But this presents a problem for the DUmmies: How can they be happy with a Dem president who even SAYS he wants to reduce government? If the DUmmies are dedicated to anything, it is to an ever-increasing federal government, always expanding to give us more and more of other people's money. And by Obama talking about reducing government, isn't this ceding the field to the rethuglicans? That's their home turf!

So the recipe is in place for both Obama-praising and Obama-bashing. Which equals FUn for the DUmmie FUnnies! So let us now go to the DUmp, where the comments are in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, glad to do a DUbble-DUFU Monday with my tag-team partner PJ, is in the [brackets]:

President Obama is Beating the GOPers at their own game..Reducing Gov't

["Reducing government"?? Wha-aa? How can a DEMOCRAT be in favor of REDUCING government?? Oh, wait! I get it! This is just an election-year political ploy!]

Them GOPers grumbling its not enough to reduce the deficit....oops

[Yep, he's outsmarted them this time! Everyone now will think he's in favor of reducing the debt, even though he's INCREASED it by FOUR TRILLION DOLLARS! No one will see through this!]

Obama plays chess...just got a free ROOK

[The Chessmaster is rooking us, alright.]

Obama plays chess . . .

[Three-dimensional. No, MULTI-dimensional, twenty or thirty dimensions at the same time.]

The GOP pretenders play with themselves.

[Says the party of Anthony Weiner and Barney Frank.]

He's taking away their issues one at a time and loudly. First cutting taxes, now smaller government..

[So if he REALLY wants to take away their issues, then why not propose adopting a fair, flat, low tax rate for everybody and eliminating the departments of Education, Health, and so on? The Republicans will have nothing left to campaign on! Checkmate!]

If their issues were popular, why'd they lose in 2006 and 2008?

[I notice you don't mention 2010.]

Wait. So now drowning gvt in a bathtub is good?

[Ruh-roh. How can we DUmmies be against Big Government?]

Yea, that's what Obama said.

[Don't worry. He doesn't mean it.]

Not reducing government - reducing bureacracy - big difference.

[He won't reduce anything that would take away benefits from Democrat voters. Who cares about Commerce? That's 1% stuff.]

he is pulling the Clinton maneuver

[Who's the intern?]

Question: How Many More Government Workers Will Be Laid Off ?

[Will Government Worker Obama get laid off? That's my question.]

With some folks, the man can't win. Whatever he does, it's wrong. Thank God DU is not representative of the real world, nor its inhabitants.

[And DUmmie Summer Hathaway, you get TWO Kewpie Dolls for the price of one! One, for acknowledging that whatever Odumbo does, it's wrong. And two, for thanking God that DUmmieland is not representative of the real world! Amen!]

There will be a reduction of 1,000 workers over a ten-year period, to take place by attrition. . . .

That is NOTHING. We have over 2,650,000 Federal employees. Normal efficiencies should result in more than a 1,000 reduction.

[Sorry, joeglow3, I've already given TWO Kewpies to Summer Hathaway. And we're trying to reduce the Kewpie Doll budget.]

It's more RW crap from a "Dem" president.

[C'mon, Mr. President! Be an HONEST Big-Government Debtocrat! Don't fight it! It's who you are! Come out of the closet!]

Yay. Now the public thinks shrinking government is an unmitigated good.

[But it's CHESS, you see. . . .]

Some would call this "caving in".

[A standard chess maneuver. You don't understand. . . .]

With Obama claiming "credit" for things the GOP have been demanding for years makes it look like the GOP was right all along.

[Look, you don't get it. . . .]

"Iran would be stupid not to develop an atomic weapon"

I'm baaaaaack from my trip to Venezuela. We'll get into this DUFU in a moment but first an announcement: My notorious cousin Chile, who has a long string of wives, ex-wives, girlfriends, and children spread all over the Andes is thinking about spreading his love even further by considering whether to run for the post of Venezuelan Minister of Tourism this year IF a new government is voted into power this October during their presidential election. Of course, Minister of Tourism is not an elective post but Chile wants whoever is elected as the NEW president of Venezuela to appoint him.

Part of his desire to become Minister of Tourism is to increase the number of tourists visiting Venezuela. Right now that number is so low that in the entire 10 days I spent in the Andean region, I saw no other American of the "gringo" variety there. However, the main reason why Chile wants to be appointed as Minister of Tourism is that would be an easy way to become a judge in the Miss Venezuela contest.

One important plank in Chile's platform IF he runs is that he will BAN any tourist attempting to enter Venezuela wearing a Che Guevara T-shirt. Any tourist attempting to wear such a T-shirt will be given a choice of replacing it with a Ronald Reagan T-shirt (for which they will be charged) or sent on the next flight OUT of the country. And speaking of Ronald Reagan, another plank in Chile's platform is to name a major street in Caracas after the Gipper. In a similar move Chile also wants to name a street in Venezuela's Isla Margarita after...Rush Limbaugh. This is part of his plan to turn Isla Margarita into a destination for Spring Break American college students. To learn more about how to attract the college crowd, Chile has expressed his interest to visit American campuses and do intensive research on the subject of Fraternity beer parties. Or, better yet, Sorority parties.

Since Chile is still in the exploratory phase of his campaign to be appointed Minister of Tourism in a future Venezuelan government, I think he would appreciate shout outs of support from our readers. And wouldn't you LOVE to visit Rush Limbaugh Boulevard at Isla Margarita in the Caribbean?

Okay back to the DUmmie FUnnies. So why haven't I done them in a long time? I could give you a bunch of excuses but they would all come off as LAME so I am skipping that to plunge right in with this THREAD of self-explanatory idiocy in its very title, "Iran would be stupid not to develop an atomic weapon." Yeah, what an absolutely YUMMIE idea that would be. You have to wonder how many DUmmies went into mourning when the STUXNET virus temporarily (hopefully permanently) ruined Iran's nuke plans. So let us now watch the DUmmies gives a big thumbs up for Iranian nukes in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, already drooling at the prospect of DUmmies wearing Che Guevara T-shirts being sent packing OUT of Venezuela, is in the [brackets]:

Iran would be stupid not to develop an atomic weapon.

[And DUmmies certainly are experts in the concept of STUPID.]

It appears to be an insurance policy against military invasion from the warmongering American empire

[You mean THIRD AMERICAN EMPIRE as per one William Rivers Pitt and his Hockey Puck theory of geopolitics. ]

When was the last time Iran attacked one of its neighbors? Pretty sure it's been awhile.

[Ahmaneedajob is such a saintly soul who wishes no harm upon any country, especially Israel that he has threatened to nuke. BTW, the above post was made by DUmmie Hugabear who has a Che Guevara avatar. Hey HUggie! I dare you to visit Venezuela wearing a Che T-shirt IF Cousin Chile becomes Minister of Tourism. It will be DELICIOUS to watch video of you sent packing on the next flight OUT of that country. It is either that or be forced to wear a Ronald Reagan T-shirt.]

Hezbollah is a wholly-owned Iranian funded subsidiary. Except when they kill people it's 'Freedom Fighting', so it's ok.

[A Tombstone risky post by this DUmmie.]

Plus didn't Israel bomb Iran's nuclear facility's a little while ago?

[Another DUmmie with mixed up history. That was actually IRAQ's nuclear facility that Israel bombed when Saddam was in power. And are you going to grieve about that as well?]

Does the US arsenal of nuclear weapons give it free reign to threaten its neighbors?

[Not only do we NOT threaten Mexico but we give guns to their drug cartels via the ATF.]

Traditionally the left has been against nuclear proliferation and nuclear weapons in general. One would think a lot of people would be particularly averse to a theocratic regime getting one. But there you have it, I guess. Things change.

[One would also think the Left would be adverse to a regime that treats women like slaves and forces them to cover themselves with ugly black bathrobes. However, when that regime is ANTI-AMERICAN then it is all perfectly okay.]

Why is Iran governed by conservative religious fundamentalists? Because the US made it possible by poor imperialist management...


That's sort of how I feel about it. Iraq was the stabilizing factor in that region. The shrub sure f*cked up THAT one.

[I SWEAR I didn't read that DUmmie post when I posted my comment above!]

But..but...we would never actually use our nuclear weapons on innocent people...oh, wait.


I certainly do hope that the Iranian people would be able to oust these horrible bastards.....

[Tombstone material.]

It is not just an insurance policy, it is THE insurance policy.
Like in the ONLY thing that may prevent military invasion. Nothing else will stop American empire, if its elites could make few billion dollars at the expense of few thousands lives of the underclass.

[The OWS contingent weighs in.]

Obama has threatened Iran as vociferously as any others...

[Yes, Obama did wave the wet noodle at Iran. Very effective.]

Saturday, January 14, 2012

"To us non-Americans, Obama is Doing a Pretty Good Job!"

President Obama's approval ratings are riding high . . . in Canada. Our neighbors to the north view Mr. Obama favorably, as one who is moving backwards redneck Amurikkka along, slowly but surely, on the road to Eurosocialist Nirvana. This is the view of Canadian DUmmie DeathToTheOil, here in this THREAD, "To us non-Americans, Obama is Doing a Pretty Good Job!"

Now of course to many of the American DUmmies, Obama is not moving anywhere near fast enough. To them, he's just another centrist corporate stooge. But Canadian DUmmie DeathToTheOil wants to reassure the Americans to stand by their man! The conversion into a socialist paradise does not happen overnight. Give Obama time! Four more years, eh?

Or maybe, Mr. Obama should just move north and run for President of Canada. He'd do well there. Who knows, he may even be birth-eligible!

So let us now don our tukes and grab a Molson and travel to the Great White North, in Maple Leaf Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who finds DeathToTheOil's argument persuasive--to vote against Obama--is in the [brackets]:

To us non-Americans, Obama is Doing a Pretty Good Job!

[Yes, he's bringing America down to OUR level!]

Look, I get the fact that you're in the thick of your lives, wondering if you'll be covered if you get sick, worried about your kids' education, maybe even frantic about the possibility of foreclosures on your mortgages. Hey, the prospect of being homeless would scare the sh*t out of my Canadian ass, and I truly hope that someday, you Americans won't have to worry about basic food, basic shelter, basic health care.

[Here in Canada, we don't have to worry about ANYTHING! We can just sit around all day and watch hockey and drink Molsons and the government will take care of us! Free everything for everybody! We all live the same gray, mediocre lives, while we wait eight months to see a doctor and pay 90% taxes! Plus it's cold all the time! Life is great!]

But help is on the way, IF you don't succumb to wingnut stupidity! The President's health care plan won't go into full effect until 2014. Even then, it will not provide you with the single-payer system I enjoy. But you HAVE to look at this incrementally!

[Incremental! That's the ticket! Up here, beyond Niagara Falls, slowly we turned, inch by inch, step by step. . . .]

Allow me to posit a scenario: You've been carjacked, and the coke-addled idiot now driving your vehicle has the pedal to the metal, propelling the both of you toward a cliff at 120 mph, ala Thelma & Louise.

[Would this be, like, at Niagara Falls? . . . Niagara Falls! Slowly we turned, inch by inch. . . .]

Two hundred feet before you hit the edge, the carjacker bails out. By the time you scooch back into the driver's seat and regain control of the car, you're now 50 feet away from plunging into an abyss.

[What would that be in meters? Shouldn't we be saying everything in meters?]

Question: If the vehicle goes over the goddam cliff, is it your fault?

[No, of course it's Bush's fault®. Everything is Bush's fault®.]

No? Well, say hello to the world Barack Obama lives in!

[The poor guy! Driving us over a cliff, plunging us into an abyss, and he's just an innocent victim!]

The godd*mn GOPhers have made it clear that defeating a black President is more important than THE SURVIVAL OF YOUR F***ING COUNTRY! HELLO???

[Yes, it's all aboot defeating a BLACK President. It's not because he's a socialist or incompetent or driving up the debt and driving away jobs. Nooo. It's simply because we hate teh blacks.]

Barack Hussein Obama is a politician. In my very humble opinion, he's the best d*mn POTUS of the last 50 years.

[Make room on Mount Rushmore, baby! Let's get some space for another face!]

Give this smart, savvy, intelligent and truly caring man another four years to show you---and, VERY selfishly---show us, the other citizens of this planet, what he can do!

[Four more years! Let's get that debt up to THIRTY trillion! WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!]



Yes he can, again.

[Yes he CANADA!]

Great mental imagery!


Hey I am nothing if not mental!

[DeathToTheOil, I grant you that. You are mental.]

An awful lot of people think, as I do, that he had a hostile Congress fighting him every inch of the way.

[Especially those first couple years, when the rethugs-- No wait, that was when the DEMOCRATS controlled BOTH houses of Congress AND the White House. . . . Hmmm. . . .]

Even so, he's gotten a lot done.

[He's gotten that debt up by, what, five, six trillion dollars?]


Would you care to address your post to the 10s of thousands of people in the US who will die in the coming year of a treatable illness/injury/disease because they were too poor to buy their life?

Would you care to address your post to the millions of people in the US who will have no shelter in which to sleep tonight...tomorrow night...and the many nights coming?

Congratulations on being able to view what is happening in the US as an academic exercise in politics gone wrong. For far too many of us here in the US, that exercise is very literally life and death.

You see, when the choice I take my medication? or Do I keep a roof over my head? or Do I buy food? or Do I buy my children food...or medication? that whole idea of 3-dimensional chess?...well, it's just a gnat buzzing in my ear as I decide how I will survive for the next hour...much less the next day. Who the hell has time to think of days when my life is defined by hours?

Congratulations! You were smart enough to be Canadian and can view your toxic neighbors to the south as a petri dish of politics gone wrong. Man, you rock!

No worries. Those who die, well hell, I'm sure they realize it's for the greater good of incrementalism and "THE SURVIVAL OF (OUR) F***ING COUNTRY!"... Woo...f***ing...hoo!

[How DARE you, you safe-and-secure, every-need-taken-care-of Canadian, how DARE you defend that murderer Obama, who very literally is responsible for 10s of thousands--no, MILLIONS--of people very literally DYING in the next few minutes, because Barack Obama took an INCREMENTAL approach, instead of FIGHTING for IMMEDIATE pure socialism!!]

This is not a philosophical debate in a college class for me. This is my life. I've been fighting what people here have just 'discovered' for the entirety of my life. Your condescension is noted. I dare you to survive in this environment; much less actually live it. I doubt you can.

[DUmmie Cerridwen says being an American is HELL! It's unbearable!]

I only wish I could vote!

[Don't worry, Canadian DUmmie DeathToTheOil. If you're for the Democrats, there are many ways to vote. Heck, you can even be DEAD and still vote.]

I don't like Obama because he didn't do anything to save the delta smelt!!

[He who smelt it, delta'd it.]

You wilfully take on a portion of the blame when the foot remains on the gas and the destination remains the cliff. Certainly, I don't think the problems originated with Obama. . . . That doesn't make the cliff coming closer and closer any easier to swallow nor the need to actually change the direction and at least remove the foot from the gas if not hit the brakes.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

"Yay O!": Smiley edits out Belafonte's Obama slam

Liberal radio hosts Tavis Smiley and Cornel West had liberal entertainer Harry Belafonte on their show the other day, and in the interview, Belafonte ripped into President Obama. However, THAT portion of the interview conveniently was CUT when the show went out for distribution. The producer later said that it was for time purposes and that that part of the interview was the least interesting part, since you could hear criticisms of Obama on Fox News any day. Hmmm. . . . A big-name lefty like Belafonte, on a left-wing radio show, slamming Obama for not being leftist enough, and that's not worth hearing? Nope! Scrub it! Cut it! Down the memory hole!

Now maybe it's just a coincidence, but host Tavis Smiley recently was disinvited from an Obama event for having expressed a mild criticism of Dear Leader. Could it be that Tavis doesn't like to be left out? Could that be the real reason why Belafonte's Obama-bashing was edited out? Let's hear from Tavis Smiley himself, as he sings the . . .

Tune: "Banana Boat Song (Day O)"
Sung by Tavis Smiley

Yay O, yay-ay-ay O!
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home
Yay, me say yay, me say yay, me say yay, me say yay, me say yay-ay-ay O!
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home

O's all right, see me Smiley face
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home
Back Obama till he win dis race
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home

Come, mister edit man, edit Belafonte
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home
Come, mister edit man, edit Belafonte
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home

Do six-year, seven-year, eight-year bump!
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home
Six-year, seven-year, eight-year bump!
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home

Yay, me say yay-ay-ay O!
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home
Yay, me say yay, me say yay, me say yay . . .
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home

A beautiful bunch, dat Team Obama
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home
Hide what isn't "Hail, hosanna!"
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home

Do six-year, seven-year, eight-year bump!
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home
Six-year, seven-year, eight-year bump!
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home

Yay, me say yay-ay-ay O!
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home
Yay, me say yay, me say yay, me say yay . . .
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home

Come, mister edit man, edit Belafonte
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home
Come, mister edit man, edit Belafonte
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home

Yay O, yay-ay-ay O!
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home
Yay, me say yay, me say yay, me say yay, me say yay, me say yay-ay-ay O!
Invite come, me don' wan' stay home

Now what do the DUmmies think of all this? You know, there is pressure also on Skins's Island to keep the Obama-bashing down. $kimmer's DUmp3 has become a wholly owned subsidiary of the Democrat Party. The big challenge for DUmmieland during this election year will be to keep the Obama-bashers under control. So when a prog icon like Belafonte goes after Obama, what is Skinner to do? How will he be able to handle the restless natives?

So let us now go to this THREAD, "Harry Belafonte Says Obama Lacks 'Moral Compass,'" aka "When Harry Met Smiley." The DUmmies are in Bolshevik Boat Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, back after being too busy lately to work all night on a drink of DUm, is in the [brackets]:

Harry Belafonte Says Obama Lacks "Moral Compass"

[Must be some right-wing rethuglic-- No wait! It's St. Harry Belafonte saying this!]

Earlier this week, "Day-O" Banana-Boat singer/actor/activist Harry Belafonte spoke on the radio show Smiley & (Cornel) West, where Belafonte unleashed some harsh criticism of Obama's leadership that never made it to the broadcast.

[Put on a Smiley face!]

HARRY BELAFONTE: When I think of Barack Obama and I think about all that is at stake here I’ve really long since left talking about how many terms he will be as a president. My question is what legacy will he leave having had the opportunity to serve under such hugely dramatic circumstances and boggled the mind and boggled people’s thinking and had such a huge impact on the universal state of things. And how could he have had such a splendid opportunity to do more than most presidents would have ever been able to do and he let that opportunity slip away from him.

[He boggled, then he bungled.]

And I am very cautious of the fact of those who thinks that he has some hidden agenda and that if only he could be given a second term for us to see the new light new things will be revealed. A new efforts will be made to take us to a place other than where we have been and where we languish. I just don’t trust that. I don’t think that a safe way an accurate way to look at the scenario.


I think if there was the kind of moral compass serving Barack Obama in the way we had all hoped, the moral force would have helped him make choices. The absence of that force in his equations the absence of that barometer to guide him when he has to make these decision which are hugely complicated, especially from the political perspective. He should have come to the table with things that I think would have helped us in this moment of crisis.

["Moment of crisis"?? The moment of crisis will be if this gets to the airwaves! DELETE DELETE DELETE!]

Harry has lost his mind

[He's gone bananas.]

maybe someone should tally his bananas. I think he's short a bunch.

[The search proved fruitless.]

incredible. the fanboys and grrls just howl if there isn't sufficient love. . . . those of you who . . . cannot imagine someone saying this about your object of worship.


Throw him under the bus.

[Throw him onto the boat.]

Most people around DU these days are only interested in short-term political gain for the Democratic party, not for liberal or progressive principles.

[Or, in Smiley's and $kimmer's cases, they're interested in gain FROM the Democrat Party.]

Mr. Belafonte is an idiot. The Matt Damon of the calypso world.

[He's a Damon idiot!]

I guess that only adulatory comments are permissible.

[Thou shalt not commit non-adulatory.]

Harry Belafonte speaks the truth.

["To power." You forgot "to power."]

To summarize the negative responses:

lost his mind
short a bunch of bananas
"pull the lever for the mittster"
derangement from gonorrhea

["Republican." Now that's going over the line, folks.]

Anyone exploring this site who walks into this thread will think it's juvenile sour-grapes rhetoric. . . .

[Oh, it's not just THIS thread.]

It's one thing to disagree with a person's opinion, but the "tally me bananas," "idiot," "fool" types of comments when discussing a great civil rights activist are something I'd expect to see on Free Republic. . . .

[Thanks to the DUmmie FUnnies, now you can!]