Monday, January 16, 2012

"Iran would be stupid not to develop an atomic weapon"

I'm baaaaaack from my trip to Venezuela. We'll get into this DUFU in a moment but first an announcement: My notorious cousin Chile, who has a long string of wives, ex-wives, girlfriends, and children spread all over the Andes is thinking about spreading his love even further by considering whether to run for the post of Venezuelan Minister of Tourism this year IF a new government is voted into power this October during their presidential election. Of course, Minister of Tourism is not an elective post but Chile wants whoever is elected as the NEW president of Venezuela to appoint him.

Part of his desire to become Minister of Tourism is to increase the number of tourists visiting Venezuela. Right now that number is so low that in the entire 10 days I spent in the Andean region, I saw no other American of the "gringo" variety there. However, the main reason why Chile wants to be appointed as Minister of Tourism is that would be an easy way to become a judge in the Miss Venezuela contest.

One important plank in Chile's platform IF he runs is that he will BAN any tourist attempting to enter Venezuela wearing a Che Guevara T-shirt. Any tourist attempting to wear such a T-shirt will be given a choice of replacing it with a Ronald Reagan T-shirt (for which they will be charged) or sent on the next flight OUT of the country. And speaking of Ronald Reagan, another plank in Chile's platform is to name a major street in Caracas after the Gipper. In a similar move Chile also wants to name a street in Venezuela's Isla Margarita after...Rush Limbaugh. This is part of his plan to turn Isla Margarita into a destination for Spring Break American college students. To learn more about how to attract the college crowd, Chile has expressed his interest to visit American campuses and do intensive research on the subject of Fraternity beer parties. Or, better yet, Sorority parties.

Since Chile is still in the exploratory phase of his campaign to be appointed Minister of Tourism in a future Venezuelan government, I think he would appreciate shout outs of support from our readers. And wouldn't you LOVE to visit Rush Limbaugh Boulevard at Isla Margarita in the Caribbean?

Okay back to the DUmmie FUnnies. So why haven't I done them in a long time? I could give you a bunch of excuses but they would all come off as LAME so I am skipping that to plunge right in with this THREAD of self-explanatory idiocy in its very title, "Iran would be stupid not to develop an atomic weapon." Yeah, what an absolutely YUMMIE idea that would be. You have to wonder how many DUmmies went into mourning when the STUXNET virus temporarily (hopefully permanently) ruined Iran's nuke plans. So let us now watch the DUmmies gives a big thumbs up for Iranian nukes in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, already drooling at the prospect of DUmmies wearing Che Guevara T-shirts being sent packing OUT of Venezuela, is in the [brackets]:

Iran would be stupid not to develop an atomic weapon.

[And DUmmies certainly are experts in the concept of STUPID.]

It appears to be an insurance policy against military invasion from the warmongering American empire

[You mean THIRD AMERICAN EMPIRE as per one William Rivers Pitt and his Hockey Puck theory of geopolitics. ]

When was the last time Iran attacked one of its neighbors? Pretty sure it's been awhile.

[Ahmaneedajob is such a saintly soul who wishes no harm upon any country, especially Israel that he has threatened to nuke. BTW, the above post was made by DUmmie Hugabear who has a Che Guevara avatar. Hey HUggie! I dare you to visit Venezuela wearing a Che T-shirt IF Cousin Chile becomes Minister of Tourism. It will be DELICIOUS to watch video of you sent packing on the next flight OUT of that country. It is either that or be forced to wear a Ronald Reagan T-shirt.]

Hezbollah is a wholly-owned Iranian funded subsidiary. Except when they kill people it's 'Freedom Fighting', so it's ok.

[A Tombstone risky post by this DUmmie.]

Plus didn't Israel bomb Iran's nuclear facility's a little while ago?

[Another DUmmie with mixed up history. That was actually IRAQ's nuclear facility that Israel bombed when Saddam was in power. And are you going to grieve about that as well?]

Does the US arsenal of nuclear weapons give it free reign to threaten its neighbors?

[Not only do we NOT threaten Mexico but we give guns to their drug cartels via the ATF.]

Traditionally the left has been against nuclear proliferation and nuclear weapons in general. One would think a lot of people would be particularly averse to a theocratic regime getting one. But there you have it, I guess. Things change.

[One would also think the Left would be adverse to a regime that treats women like slaves and forces them to cover themselves with ugly black bathrobes. However, when that regime is ANTI-AMERICAN then it is all perfectly okay.]

Why is Iran governed by conservative religious fundamentalists? Because the US made it possible by poor imperialist management...


That's sort of how I feel about it. Iraq was the stabilizing factor in that region. The shrub sure f*cked up THAT one.

[I SWEAR I didn't read that DUmmie post when I posted my comment above!]

But..but...we would never actually use our nuclear weapons on innocent people...oh, wait.


I certainly do hope that the Iranian people would be able to oust these horrible bastards.....

[Tombstone material.]

It is not just an insurance policy, it is THE insurance policy.
Like in the ONLY thing that may prevent military invasion. Nothing else will stop American empire, if its elites could make few billion dollars at the expense of few thousands lives of the underclass.

[The OWS contingent weighs in.]

Obama has threatened Iran as vociferously as any others...

[Yes, Obama did wave the wet noodle at Iran. Very effective.]


Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

God have mercy if we the public are too stupid to strip fools like the ones in this DU thread of power this year on Election Day.

11:56 AM  
Blogger Tazzerman said...

Jerome I agree totally.

American 'Empire'?

Someone PLEASE explain that to me and use small words OK?

Just because we have all over the world, mostly left-overs from BOTH WWII and the Cold War in which we once again, saved the collective worlds bacon, does NOT make us an 'Empire'..

Isn't it interesting how the left LOVES it when our military comes to the rescue for 'humanitarian' reasons ALL facilitated by having those very same bases spread out all over the place. Never hear a WORD about an Empire then eh?

Shoot, we've moved out of and/or given up more land in more places than MOST empires ever saw to begin with!

Wait, we're also Colonialists right?

I guess the old adage is still alive and well:

If you repeat a lie often AND long enough, it becomes fact.

4:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's funny how they are trying to blame Bush for the consequences of Carter's thumb-fingered and halfwitted foreign policy mistakes in the 70s.


11:02 AM  
Anonymous Carol said...

Thank you for a post!

2:49 PM  

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