Saturday, January 14, 2012

"To us non-Americans, Obama is Doing a Pretty Good Job!"



President Obama's approval ratings are riding high . . . in Canada. Our neighbors to the north view Mr. Obama favorably, as one who is moving backwards redneck Amurikkka along, slowly but surely, on the road to Eurosocialist Nirvana. This is the view of Canadian DUmmie DeathToTheOil, here in this THREAD, "To us non-Americans, Obama is Doing a Pretty Good Job!"

Now of course to many of the American DUmmies, Obama is not moving anywhere near fast enough. To them, he's just another centrist corporate stooge. But Canadian DUmmie DeathToTheOil wants to reassure the Americans to stand by their man! The conversion into a socialist paradise does not happen overnight. Give Obama time! Four more years, eh?

Or maybe, Mr. Obama should just move north and run for President of Canada. He'd do well there. Who knows, he may even be birth-eligible!

So let us now don our tukes and grab a Molson and travel to the Great White North, in Maple Leaf Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who finds DeathToTheOil's argument persuasive--to vote against Obama--is in the [brackets]:

To us non-Americans, Obama is Doing a Pretty Good Job!

[Yes, he's bringing America down to OUR level!]

Look, I get the fact that you're in the thick of your lives, wondering if you'll be covered if you get sick, worried about your kids' education, maybe even frantic about the possibility of foreclosures on your mortgages. Hey, the prospect of being homeless would scare the sh*t out of my Canadian ass, and I truly hope that someday, you Americans won't have to worry about basic food, basic shelter, basic health care.

[Here in Canada, we don't have to worry about ANYTHING! We can just sit around all day and watch hockey and drink Molsons and the government will take care of us! Free everything for everybody! We all live the same gray, mediocre lives, while we wait eight months to see a doctor and pay 90% taxes! Plus it's cold all the time! Life is great!]

But help is on the way, IF you don't succumb to wingnut stupidity! The President's health care plan won't go into full effect until 2014. Even then, it will not provide you with the single-payer system I enjoy. But you HAVE to look at this incrementally!

[Incremental! That's the ticket! Up here, beyond Niagara Falls, slowly we turned, inch by inch, step by step. . . .]

Allow me to posit a scenario: You've been carjacked, and the coke-addled idiot now driving your vehicle has the pedal to the metal, propelling the both of you toward a cliff at 120 mph, ala Thelma & Louise.

[Would this be, like, at Niagara Falls? . . . Niagara Falls! Slowly we turned, inch by inch. . . .]

Two hundred feet before you hit the edge, the carjacker bails out. By the time you scooch back into the driver's seat and regain control of the car, you're now 50 feet away from plunging into an abyss.

[What would that be in meters? Shouldn't we be saying everything in meters?]

Question: If the vehicle goes over the goddam cliff, is it your fault?

[No, of course it's Bush's faultĀ®. Everything is Bush's faultĀ®.]

No? Well, say hello to the world Barack Obama lives in!

[The poor guy! Driving us over a cliff, plunging us into an abyss, and he's just an innocent victim!]

The godd*mn GOPhers have made it clear that defeating a black President is more important than THE SURVIVAL OF YOUR F***ING COUNTRY! HELLO???

[Yes, it's all aboot defeating a BLACK President. It's not because he's a socialist or incompetent or driving up the debt and driving away jobs. Nooo. It's simply because we hate teh blacks.]

Barack Hussein Obama is a politician. In my very humble opinion, he's the best d*mn POTUS of the last 50 years.

[Make room on Mount Rushmore, baby! Let's get some space for another face!]

Give this smart, savvy, intelligent and truly caring man another four years to show you---and, VERY selfishly---show us, the other citizens of this planet, what he can do!

[Four more years! Let's get that debt up to THIRTY trillion! WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!]

HEAR HEAR!

[THERE THERE! NOT HERE!]

Yes he can, again.

[Yes he CANADA!]

Great mental imagery!

[Incra-mental!]

Hey I am nothing if not mental!

[DeathToTheOil, I grant you that. You are mental.]

An awful lot of people think, as I do, that he had a hostile Congress fighting him every inch of the way.

[Especially those first couple years, when the rethugs-- No wait, that was when the DEMOCRATS controlled BOTH houses of Congress AND the White House. . . . Hmmm. . . .]

Even so, he's gotten a lot done.

[He's gotten that debt up by, what, five, six trillion dollars?]

Congratulations!

Would you care to address your post to the 10s of thousands of people in the US who will die in the coming year of a treatable illness/injury/disease because they were too poor to buy their life?

Would you care to address your post to the millions of people in the US who will have no shelter in which to sleep tonight...tomorrow night...and the many nights coming?

Congratulations on being able to view what is happening in the US as an academic exercise in politics gone wrong. For far too many of us here in the US, that exercise is very literally life and death.

You see, when the choice is...do I take my medication? or Do I keep a roof over my head? or Do I buy food? or Do I buy my children food...or medication? that whole idea of 3-dimensional chess?...well, it's just a gnat buzzing in my ear as I decide how I will survive for the next hour...much less the next day. Who the hell has time to think of days when my life is defined by hours?

Congratulations! You were smart enough to be Canadian and can view your toxic neighbors to the south as a petri dish of politics gone wrong. Man, you rock!

No worries. Those who die, well hell, I'm sure they realize it's for the greater good of incrementalism and "THE SURVIVAL OF (OUR) F***ING COUNTRY!"... Woo...f***ing...hoo!

[How DARE you, you safe-and-secure, every-need-taken-care-of Canadian, how DARE you defend that murderer Obama, who very literally is responsible for 10s of thousands--no, MILLIONS--of people very literally DYING in the next few minutes, because Barack Obama took an INCREMENTAL approach, instead of FIGHTING for IMMEDIATE pure socialism!!]

This is not a philosophical debate in a college class for me. This is my life. I've been fighting what people here have just 'discovered' for the entirety of my life. Your condescension is noted. I dare you to survive in this environment; much less actually live it. I doubt you can.

[DUmmie Cerridwen says being an American is HELL! It's unbearable!]

I only wish I could vote!

[Don't worry, Canadian DUmmie DeathToTheOil. If you're for the Democrats, there are many ways to vote. Heck, you can even be DEAD and still vote.]

I don't like Obama because he didn't do anything to save the delta smelt!!

[He who smelt it, delta'd it.]

You wilfully take on a portion of the blame when the foot remains on the gas and the destination remains the cliff. Certainly, I don't think the problems originated with Obama. . . . That doesn't make the cliff coming closer and closer any easier to swallow nor the need to actually change the direction and at least remove the foot from the gas if not hit the brakes.

8 Comments:

Blogger tsiya said...

I wonder how much Canada would have to spend on health care if America didn't carry the lions share of defense for their sorry butts.

2:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How many Canadians have I met within our very American university systems? Why...oh why, dear Canadians do you deny the very human right of a four year university education to your own citizens?? Oh the humanity!! My own brother-in-law, a Canadian by birth, American University math professor by choice, can stop trying to get his citizenhip. Afterall, he may not have been aware of the socialist paradise to the north. Perhaps he was turned off by the 8 month hospital wait.

11:20 PM  
Anonymous KayInMaine said...

FUCK YOU REICH WING RACIST, NAZI, FACIST, CAPITALIST BROWNSHIRTS! MY BOYS HERE WILL RULE YOU AND ALL YOUR SISTER/MOTHERS!!!!!!!!

6:06 AM  
Blogger 98ZJUSMC said...

Oh, the drooling infant shows up for this.

2:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Let's go to the border and throw rocks at Canadians - they never throw them back." Hyde on `That 70s Show'

Poor Kaye, that was Dran-o, not douche powder...

Peet from FR

3:50 PM  
Anonymous The ULTIMATE Man said...

FOAD KayInMaine, you worthless racist two-bit whore...damn you to hell...

8:15 PM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

KayInMaine, entertaining the readers of Dummie Funnies since 2005 with her antics and grimaces.

2:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now let's suppose the alleged crack addict is 'Speeding' toward that cliff with the car in second gear, bails out at 20 mph a quarter mile from the cliff, and as the car slows even further, Obama drops his 2000-page Hell Care act on the gas pedal and knocks the gear selector into 'Overdrive.'

That's a bit more accurate as a description.

DAT

10:55 AM  

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