Monday, November 28, 2011

"Occupy San Diego Flash Mob Invades Wal-Mart"

OCCUPY EVERYTHING! ANNOY EVERYONE! That seems to be the motto of the OWSies. And the DUmmies are right with them, at least in spirit, even if the only thing they're occupying is Mom's basement.

So this past Friday, "Black Friday," the OWSies of San Diego decided to "flash mob" Wal-Mart. Load up lots of shopping carts, move to the check-out lines, shout out some DUmb manifesto, then leave the carts there and walk out the store. Turn "Black Friday" into "Block Friday": Block people from checking out. Really effective protest there, OWSies. You are breaking the back of the corporate masters. Well, no, actually, all you are doing is pissing off Mr. and Mrs. Average American and causing the poor Wal-Mart workers extra work to unload your carts and put all the stuff back on the shelves. Good move, comrades.

So let us now go to this THREAD by DUmmie/OWSie Juneboarder, "Occupy San Diego flash mobs two Walmarts today!" and the accompanying VIDEO, "Occupy San Diego Flash Mob Invades Wal-Mart." The DUmmie Re-Marx are in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, hoping some corporate types go and flash mob an Occupy protest, is in the [brackets]:

Occupy San Diego flash mobs two Walmarts today!

[This will do it, I'm SURE!]

Approximately 75 people met up this morning at a transit center with the knowledge of flash mob that will happen and nothing else.

[A bus stop full of flash-mob experts. The mind boggles.]

I was a little apprehensive being that I didn't know how we could incoroprate dancing into the 99% movement, nor having much ability to dance.

[The Dance of the Dense.]

Their idea on the flash mob was that we'd all enter Walmart inconspicuously and shop for 30 minutes, filling up our carts as much as possible.

["Inconspicuously"? Don't you think your gray ponytails and your pierced eyebrows would give you away? No, wait. This is Wal-Mart we're talking about.]

Then we'd meet at the front to check out and the first person to get up to a checker calls asks the cashier to page their child (Michael Check) to the checkstand cause they're ready to leave. . . .

["Michael Check." Oh, you're so clever. I bet you like to page Ben Dover and Mike Hunt.]

MIC CHECK! Citizens of Walmart!! Greetings and welcome back from the food coma!!

[Welcome to the five-minute lane blockage!!]

In the spirit of holiday giving, we believe a discussion is in order about the meaning of value and low cost. For every low-priced product purchased at Walmart, your communities pay the difference. . . .

[Blah, blah, blah. Proceed with long-winded, annoying manifesto.]





Thank you, Exit Safely, and remember to smile...

[Smile, even though you're all pissed off from us making you wait in line longer.]

After that there was applause as we all 75 left our carts and exited the disgusting, big box store.

[Making LOTS of extra work for the already-frazzled Wal-Mart employees.]

We received thumbs ups from employees. . . .

[I don't think those were their thumbs they were holding up.]

claps at the end. . . .

[People were glad you were finally done and they could now get checked out.]

when walking out . . . we walked past shouting, "We are the 99%, YOU are the 99%!"

[We are the Nutty-Nut Percent!]

the mic-check. It was entirely envigorating.

[It was entirely aggravating.]

There was one @sshat that charged past us and screamed "You f***ing socialists!" Yes, a good laugh. . . .

[Yes, it was so FUnnie, because of course we're NOT socialists. We're Communists!]

I am proud to stand in solidarity with Occupy San Diego.

[Thank you, DUmmie/OWSie Juneboarder, for that inspiring after-action report. Now to your fellow DUmmies . . .]

And me still nursing this dang cold or would have been there to record it... Yes I know excuses and you know what... but don't feel like having this become pneumonia.

[DUmmie nadinbrzezinski has some cockamamie excuse for not being there. Like someone could really get a cold in San Diego. More like Nads wants to sit in her bomb shelter drinking triage milk and posting on the DUmp and going to Conservative Cave to see how she's doing in the race for DUmmie of the Year.]

Good job!

[Know-it-all Nadin approves! As long as she doesn't have to go there in person.]

I wish you woulda been there!! We were looking for someone that could say our message in spanish over the mic check...

[Know-it-all Nadin knows all languages--Spanish, English, Martian, Wal-Martian, you name it. She can misspeak in all of them!]

Wow, and shoppers are repeating along!

[No, Sarah Imadummi, those are just the other OWSies repeating after the Head OWSie.]

I would do this!

[But, Sarah Ibuprofen, what if your right-wing boyfriend who treats you nice objected? Would you choose him or The Cause? BTW, Sarah Ibarruri, you would be my runner-up to nadinbrzezinski for DUmmie of the Year. Good luck to both of you!]

I went to Walmart around 7 p.m. yesterday to 'walk' my mom. She walks the mall every day. . . .

[Walk your mom at a local small business instead. Shorter aisles, true. But just do more reps.]

I knew OWS would use flash mobs!

[Stupid, ineffective, annoying--why, it's a natural!]

So how does one sign up for a flash mob?

[Look in the phone book under "DUmb."]

I've been online following their tweets, facebook posts and message board updates. . . .

[Using your DUmbphone and your laptop that you bought at some disgusting big-box store, I'm sure. Why don't you use a self-made tweeter?]

The one percent don't shop at WALMART...they OWN it. The people buying sh*t at WALMART can't afford to shop elsewhere. . . . I suppose if you want to target the one percent of shoppers, the place to do it is Tiffany's or Needless Markup....

[DUmmie MADem interjects a note of negativity, questioning the effectiveness of the flash mobbers.]

The message was conveyed to the shoppers to inform and educate; while the action hit the 1%'ers bottom line.

[The message conveyed to the shoppers, DUmmie/OWSie Juneboarder, was that you're a bunch of annoying jerks. And your "action" didn't even make 1% difference to that store's bottom line that day. You weren't going to buy anything there anyway, and you didn't keep anyone else from buying anything, either. All you did was call attention to Wal-Mart's low prices, which is what people want. So . . . FAIL!]

The action only f***ed over the wage slaves. Messing with the workers, creating a mess that they have to clean up, that they are responsible for, isn't helpful to them at all. The One Percent could give a f***. . . . F***ing with the stock to make a stupid point (one that the worker has to clean up) is just anti-worker.

[DUmmie MADem is on a roll. Please continue . . .]

I just can't get behind your logic--at all. Be grateful, we f***ed up the place FOR YOUUUUUU? . . . It didn't affect the bottom line--WALMART workers still had to do their regular work, AND clean up after you. . . . You know how much notice the One Percenters gave this episode? None.

[Alright, DUmmie MADem, I'm going to flip all the cards and go ahead and award you today's Kewpie Doll for your Brief--no, more than Brief--Moment of Mental Clarity®. Congrats!]

Whatever. I have things to do with the rest of my day than debate with someone that can do nothing but project negativity.

[Juneboarder thinks you're such a DUmmie Downer, MADem!]

There ALWAYS has to be at least one crepe-hanger in a DU thread.

[One crepe-hanger for every 99 crap-hangers.]

The bottom line... The bottom line is that this affects Walmarts bottom line.

[Sorry, DUmmie/OWSie Juneboarder, the only thing your butt-in-line did was to piss off the public and pile extra work on the employees. But you feel good about yourselves, like you accomplished something for The Cause, and that's the main thing, right?]

the majority of employees were smiling, giving thumbs up, and clapped when we were done. . . .

[Translation: They were laughing at you, they gave you the middle finger, and they said "Good riddance!" when you left.]

Why not demonstrate a little real brass, and do that sh*t at Tiffany's?

[Brainfart at Tiffany's.]

It's like trashing a Pizza Hut, handing a mop to an employee and saying "You don't need to thank me. The look of on your face is thanks enough. Laters!"

[Hee! Hee!]

Aww, would you like a tissue? A pearl necklace to clutch? An extra pillow for your fainting couch? Non-violent activism requires disruption in the face of recalcitrant elites. Without disruption, all the Occupy movement, and any other political movement is doing is making noise that is easily ignored and laughed at by the corrupt subhuman f***s that control our government and the corporations. So excuuuuuuuuse me when I advocate disrupting the shopping routine for shoppers, making a mess for workers, blocking streets, disrupting services, and being so ambitious as bringing entire economic sectors to a HALT! It's the only way to drive the b*st*rds to make concessions. You have to hit the f***ers where it hurts - in the wallet, by disrupting their revenue streams. If that creates inconveniences, too f***ing bad. I'm willing to break those eggs to make this omelette.

[I hate to break it to you, DUmmie backscatter712, but all you accomplish by doing this stuff is you end up with egg on your face. But, please, keep on doing it! We here at DUmmie FUnnies appreciate the material!]

The One Percent will laugh, laugh, laugh. Their bottom line won't be affected in the slightest. . . . No omelette for you. You won't even get powdered eggs...


Lesson #324 in how incredibly tone deaf the left is.

[And that's just for November! Looking forward to #325!]

Sunday, November 27, 2011

No-Show Pitt Pepper-Spray 'Outrage' Boomerangs

Oops! Yet another bit of outrage from WILLIAM RIVERS PITT has boomeranged. You might remember earlier this year when Pitt worked himself into a froth of feigned anger over supposed "rightwing" violence in the wake of the Congresswoman Gabby Giffords shooting by a deranged NUtcase. Well, guess who was guilty of making deranged violent threats on the Web, including threatening harm on the dearest darling homeless woman, Bobolink? It was Pitt himself as was EXPOSED in NewsBusters who threatened deranged violence to the extent that he was BANNED from DUmmieland for several months. Now Pitt is on an outrage kick over the pepper-spraying of UC students. In fact Pitt posted TWO threads on the subject starting with his delicately named Motherf*ckers followed a few days later by The People's Surveillance State.

Unfortunately for Pitt, his phony premise has BOOMERANGED once again. It turns out that the leftwing UC Davis students planned for this confrontation with the police to elicit just such a response. And who is making this accusation? Some "rightwing" source with an agenda? Nope. One of the LEFTWING protestors made this claim as you can see in this VIDEO which appeared in NEWSBUSTERS. Here is the key line from the leftwing protestor exposing their not-so-hidden agenda:

"We had encircled them, and they were trying to leave, and they were trying to clear a path. And so, we sat down, linked arms, and said that if they wanted to clear the path, they would have to go through us."

And for confirmation as to how phony this entire encounter was, then take a look at what was NOT originally shown, namely the VIDEO of the police informing the protestors they had to disperse and their refusal to do so. Only AFTER the many warnings were they pepper sprayed. And this phony confrontation is what worked No Show Pitt into such a froth of mock outrage.

As to why No Show Pitt has been completely MIA at the many OWS protests, I have done an investigation and it turns out that the Pittster is like a Bostonian Raskolnikov living in dread fear that an accusatory Newtonian finger will be pointed in his direction should he appear in a public setting such as one of these protests. Better to remain low profile although Pitt would dearly love to place himself upon that OWS stage and hog attention. Unfortunately, attention from the wrong people is what Raskolnikov Pitt does NOT want, thus the highly uncharacteristic shunning of the limelight. So let us now watch Pitt and the DUmmies work themselves into a hot Bolhshevik Red sense of outrage while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that the giggling naive schoolgirls of yesterday can become the angry leftwing feminazis of tomorrow, is in the [brackets]:


[Pitt likes them too young to qualify for this category.]

Video shows office pepper-spraying protesters at UC Davis

[Video does NOT show police patiently warning the protestors to disperse. Video also does not show this is what the students wanted...a confrontation.]

Watch the video if you haven't seen it already.

[Can I present this video at a Newton school show and tell?]


[And now to the rest of the DUmmies who have yet to question Pitt as to why he talks a good OWS storm but is still MIA at all these protests...]

I couldn't bear to watch it again. As Chris Hayes said, "like spraying cockroaches"

[I never give cockroaches ample warnings before I spray them.]

Looks like the SS in Nazi Germany delighted in "Spraying the Jews."

[Last I checked, no such thing as Zyklon B NON-LETHAL pepper spray.]

Outrageous. That picture (and the video) is SO telling about the state of affiars.

[Make that videos PLURAL because the other videos clearly show not only that the protestors were given plenty of warnings but that they PLANNED for the confrontation as was confirmed by one of the protestors.]

Pathetic bastards are nothing but bullies.

[Pathetic phonies are nothing but Drama Queens.]

Yes, and I'd say that the young students at UC Davis accomplished their goal!

[Sorry. No sale. Thanks to the Internet this has NOT turned into your much desired phony "Kent State moment." We know way too much about your devious phony pre-planned encounters.]

Which weapons of choice would you bear against the premier military force on this planet?

[How about if we arm Newton schoolgirls with pepper spray to fight back against attacks?]

The point of nonviolence is to WIN a despute without fighing back.

[You might also try not broadcasting your plans to stage an encounter such as that UC Davis protestor did.]

Ceaucescu and his wife were both executed by firing squad after a perfunctory and very brief trial. They were guilty as hell and everyone in Romania knew it.

[And what was the fate of Roman Rodion Raskolnikov? William Rivers Pitt desperately wants to know.]

So Gandhi was a pee drinking mental case?

[FUn Fact: Gandhi also slept with young girls and somehow got away with it. Would you like me to send you a Gandhi bio, Will?]

The Jallianwala Bagh was bounded on all sides by houses and buildings and had few narrow entrances, most of which were kept permanently locked. The main entrance was relatively wider, but was guarded by the troops backed by the armoured vehicles. General Dyer ordered troops to begin shooting without warning or any order to disperse, and to direct shooting towards the densest sections of the crowd.....

[I greatly admire your copy & paste skills.]

For now, at this point here in the US, I think Gandhi's tactics will work. When they bring out the live ammunition and the homeland special rendition and start killing and torturing us, then things might change.

[The only killing so far has been OWSie killing OWSie. And your worst torture is lack of attention. The public is already bored with your tired phony antics and you are being tortured by being so cruelly ignored.]

The thing is that pepper spray down the throat can actually kill - some of these kids were coughing up blood still hours later.

[Sounds like me after an overly spicy Mexican meal.]

Thanks for the thread, WilliamPitt.

[Thanks for the retread, WilliamPitt.]

There were far more bystanders than police.
I think if just ONE person had attempted to stop him, the
rest would have taken him down, and rightly so.

[Posted the brave DUmmie from Mamma's basement.]

We really need to think about this further. The Nazi's gassed Jews in Gas Chambers in Secret. This time US POLICE are GASSING "sit down protestors" in the OPEN and WHO CARES? THEY JUST DO IT!

[I've thought about it and concluded you truly are an IDIOT.]

The more video evidence like this there is the stronger the outcry for accountability and transparency will be.

[We now have more video evidence than you want because it displays just how PHONY this confrontation was. Sorry but you do NOT get your highly coveted "Kent State moment."]

I suppose we should be happy that they didn't go all Kent State on em.

[And you're not happy precisely because it didn't turn into a phony "Kent State moment."]

Just once, I'd love to see 500 protesters pull out their OWN mace and spray the cops. I can dream.

[And Pitt replies to this DUmmie dream...]

It's getting to that point.

[Of course, Pitt won't be anywhere near these OWS protests. Roman Rivers Raskolnikov fears the accusatory finger pointing and screaming, "J'Accuse!"]

Don't underestimate the power of being righteous.

[Or self-righteous.]

this f*cker needs to be in jail for assault.

[Well, his co-author is now serving a 5 year stretch in a Pennsylvania state prison.]

All of those cops need a massive ass-beating! They better thank their god that I wasn't there. The amount of broken bones they would've sustained would've been immeasurable.

[Posted the frightened little nerd in the darkness.]

If the President wanted this shit to stop it would stop.

[LEAVE BARACK ALONE!!! He just wants to eat his waffle. And now we go to No Show Pitt's other grandstand THREAD...]

The People's Surveillance State

[Do they have surveillance at Newton schoolyards?]

In the aftermath of September 11, there was a big push to create a national surveillance system in the name of national security. Cameras were installed at traffic lights, ostensibly to catch people running red lights and stop signs, but those cameras came with a nifty side benefit: they recorded everyone within reach of the lens in their comings and goings. Cameras were installed at street corners, ostensibly to provide security against crime, but again, you were recorded wherever you went. Bank machines all come with security cameras, and those added to the ever-broadening web of national surveillance. Finally, almost every cell phone now comes with software that, so long as the thing is turned on, can track your every step by triangulating your position via GPS and the cell towers your phone signal bounces off of.

[Suspect first spotted in a classroom, then the schoolyard, finally an apartment...]

Those with a fealty to the quaint ideals of American civil liberties had, to no great surprise, a big problem with putting this system in place. Combine the concern over having millions of innocent people on camera with the fact that the Bush administration decided to spy on pretty much everyone by way of the NSA because no one had the guts to stop them, and what you had - and have to this day - is a pretty damned paranoid situation where everyone is being watched by The Man. Today, it is almost impossible to be anywhere in America without something tracking you. After this technology had been in place for a few years, it even became fodder for cop shows; half the episodes of "Law & Order: SVU" after 2008 involve catching criminals using this web of eyes and ears. As you can imagine, the bad guys almost never got away.

[We are now tracking Roman Rivers Pitt as he slowly makes his way via extreme bloviation to the scene of the UC Davis pepper spray incident.]

The basic idea behind setting up this incredibly invasive system, if you listen to its advocates, is that security is paramount in the aftermath of 9/11. There were plenty of people, after the Towers came down, who were very happy to surrender their liberties in the name of security, despite Benjamin Franklin's warning about deserving neither and losing both. Nowadays, the existence of such a system is established fact, leading to yet another bout of cognitive dissonance: those in favor of such a system a few years ago, because it meant the state was looking out for their safety, are now in all likelihood the same people railing against the state with guns on their hips at Tea Party rallies...but that's a brain cramp to be dealt with another day.

[Blah...Blah...Blah as Roman Rivers Pitt continues his hot aired approach to the UC Davis campus.]

The advent of the Occupy movement, the length of time that movement has been able to hang fire, and the vast number of cities in which it is taking place, has led to an astonishingly violent reaction from the very state we are supposedly trusting to watch over our every move. There have been a dozen incidents of gruesome official violence against peaceful, non-violent protesters, including the near-murder of an Iraq war veteran by police in Oakland...violence the likes of which has not been seen in America since the dogs and firehoses days of Birmingham, Alabama.

[Be patient. The Pittster Hot Air Balloon is about to land at the campus.]

Last Friday, students at UC Davis in California were subjected to an attack by police that beggars likeness. Here's the thing, though: this time, it's all on film.

[Including film you do NOT want to see, namely the police giving the protestors plenty of warning PLUS one of the protestors later admitting that their pre-planned strategy was to surround the cops to force them to take action.]

If you haven't seen it yet, what you're looking at is a dozen or so protesters seated with their heads down, arms linked, in peaceful non-violent resistance. An armored UC Davis police officer calmly pulls out a can of pepper spray the size of a fire extinguisher, shakes it up, and hoses these seated students down from one side to the other and then back again. Several of the students subjected to this attack required hospitalization, and there is an unconfirmed report that one of the protesters had a UC Davis cop shove the nozzle of his pepper spray canister into her mouth and then pulled the trigger.

[Key word: "unconfirmed." However there is a CONFIRMED report that Ben Burch wishes that cop shoved the spray canister up his butt and showered his innards with that spicy spray.]

It is all on film.


It is all on film.


It is all on film.

[Or another way to put it: It. is. all. on. film.]

The chancellor of UC Davis is under intense pressure to resign her post. The officers involved in this unprovoked attack have been suspended, and an official investigation is underway.

[They are investigating certain decade old misdeeds at a Newton school?]

None of which would be true if the incident was not all on film. The video of the attack on YouTube, at the time of this writing, has almost 1,400,000 views, and similar attacks by police have been captured on film from one side of the country to the other.

[And thanks to other videos we now know how PHONY that confrontation was.]

Memo to the police and the surveillance state you represent: you are not working in the dark anymore. You may have your own system of surveillance, but We The People are watching you just as closely, and we have our own system of surveillance. It's called exposing your vicious, anti-American and thoroughly unnecessary strong-arm tactics for all to see. It is really very easy, takes no time, and we will make you famous in all the wrong ways before you take your shoes off at bedtime. The name, telephone number and email address of the cop who attacked those UC Davis protesters is now common knowledge on the internet, and while I will not publish it here, that cop should know down to his cowardly little bones that he is right out there under the bright lights, thanks to the People's Surveillance State.

[Memo to Raskolnikov Pitt: You are not hiding in the dark anymore. We The People are watching you and we have our ownn system of surveillance. It is called exposing your vicious, anti-America, and thoroughly unnecessary strong-arm tactics for all to see. Remember your strong-arm VIOLENT threats to the homeless lady Bobolink? The DUFU Eye of Sauron is upon you Pitt. There is NO escape Roman Rivers Raskolnikov.]

You may be watching us, but by God and sonny Jesus, we are watching you.

[With the DUFU Eye of Sauron firmly focused upon Raskolnikov Pitt, let us now read the DUmmie reaction...]

Just read this on Truthout. First to recommend!

[And if it is in TruthOut then it MUST be True! Remember the truth of their report about Karl Rove being indicted on May 12, 2006?]

GREAT essay by William Pitt

[Would love to read an essay by Pitt about why he has NEVER attended an OWS protest. Not one.]

Which school? PM me the answer, I will certainly keep it to myself.

[Um...Do you really want to be asking about schools in a public forum, Will? And are you sure you will keep it to yourself or will you share with your co-author?]

Recommend. Great work, Will! It does come back to bite them, doesn't it?

[Yes, it certainly does come back to bite them as William Romanovich Pitt well knows. J'Accuse!!!]

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

"Thanksgiving dinner + wingnut relatives = a horrible day"

It's a Thanksgiving tradition around these parts: the various threads about DUmmies dealing with their right-wing relatives at family gatherings. The dread of it beforehand. The plans for how to use the occasion to confront or convert. And the after-action reports of how it all turned out. Today we take up an "I'm dreading it" thread, i.e., this THREAD by DUmmie Cyrano, "Thanksgiving dinner + wingnut relatives = a horrible day."

So let us now go over the river and through the woods to DUmmieland, in Cranberry Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who, strangely, thinks that Thanksgiving Day is about giving thanks to God, is in the [brackets]:

Thanksgiving dinner + wingnut relatives = a horrible day

[Undergrounder and the Terrible, Horrible, CyraNo Good, Very Bad Day.]

I have two wingnut in-laws who will be at Thanksgiving dinner and they always want to talk politics.

[Good. Maybe they'll talk some sense into you.]

There's just no way I can avoid it. I've considered faking a heart attack or stroke to escape this ordeal, but I doubt if I'd get away with it.

[Well then, don't fake it. Have a real heart attack or stroke. If you can't manage that, get a dog to bite you or something. Whatever. Sunstroke. Use your imagination.]

They are against everything that most sane people believe in.

[Think of it: They are AGAINST the government taking our money away and spending it on unconstitutional wealth-redistribution schemes, and taxing us out the wazoo, and driving businesses out of business, and driving up the debt into the trillions for generations to come! They're AGAINST that! Some really CRAAAAZY wacko stuff!]

They are intolerable dittoheads and Fox "News" addicts. And they are people I really don't want to be on the same planet with.

[Astral project yourself onto Uranus.]

I can usually avoid them most of the year, but this is one day I'm stuck with. Maybe I'll get lucky and choke to death on some cranberry sauce.

[One can hope.]

I've often asked myself why I put up with it.

[It's the free food. You like being able to mooch off your relatives. I bet you even take all the turkey skin.]

There's no arguing a different point of view with them, but I'd really like to tell them to shut their stupid f***ing mouths.

[Oh, go for it. Just try to be tactful. "Excuse me, my dear wingnut relatives. Would you kindly shut your stupid f***ing mouths?" Try that, and get back to me.]

However, that would cause irreparable damage within my family with which I'm very close.

[Possibly. . . . But be sure to say "kindly." "Would you KINDLY shut your stupid f***ing mouths?" That will lessen the blow.]

I'm sure that some of you have the same problem. . . .

[Let's find out, shall we?]

Folks probably should avoid talking about politics on holidays. Not much good comes of it.

[No, no! Make the most of the opportunity! Confront! Convert! OCCUPY Thanksgiving!]

They're zombies. No longer living in the here and now. . . . More than a little bit scarey. . . .

[Night of the Living Red.]

Get an ipod/phone and just listen to some podcasts the whole day.

[The Pod People.]

Please don't choke on your cranberry sauce. They aren't worth it.

[That crummy ambrosia salad that Aunt Wilma always makes? Yeah, that's about all they're worth. So choke on that instead.]

Too bad "To-Go" isn't an option.

[Drive up to Grandma and Grandpa's window and ask them to throw a plate out to you.]

Tell them the turkey reminds them of the GOP candidates. . . .

[Obama reminds me of creamed arugula.]

Some electric brownie's could go a long way. Or electric popcorn - made with special butter.

[Better Thanksgiving through chemistry.]

I actually enjoy engaging my inlaws in person. . . . they have nowhere to go and are armed with a rubber knife at a ninja fight ---- if they start up tomorrow I'm gonna make sushi out of any parts left over after I grind them to hamburger.

[DUmmie MedicalAdmin, you are a shining light slinging hash in the kitchen of English! Congratulations, you win the Mixed Metaphor Award of the Day®!]

I have nothing BUT wingnuts in my family, so we two will be sharing a quiet Thanksgiving at home. Alone.

[DUmmie DCKit talks to himself a lot. It's developed into "we two."]

I'd have dinner at a Chinese buffet.

[Watch out for the Huntsman crowd.]

if dinner with them simply cannot be escaped (spousal expectations or something) -- I would suggest just staring at them fixedly, silently, with a mixture of sympathy and revulsion -- the look you probably have on your face while watching a cat cast up a hairball.

[You know, that DUmb, blank look you normally have.]

They: Blah blah blah clinton's dick....blah blah blah Kenyan....blah blah blah libruls...

Me: (Lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng Pause).......................You know that is the most ridiculous thing you've said... except for everything else you have ever said. (sit back in chair and stare at your fork)

[Fork them.]

take some print visuals..could be an opportunity...forget debate...take printed facts in your casserole dish

[Stick a PowerPoint in your buns.]

the OP could have an educational dinner theater. . . . "This turkey represents the amount of wealth that is currently held by the one percent in this country. And the amount of wealth that the 99 have is represented by...this soggy cube of stuffing." Then you could keep repeating and pointing at the food, "One percent...turkey...99 percent...stuffing. And again! Turkey one percent...stuffing 99 percent..." Maybe after an hour of those yummy visuals--they will finally get it.

[After an hour of this, your relatives will be ready to knock the stuffing out of you.]

stay on the attack

[Just be careful when Uncle Fred pulls out the pepper spray.]

A turkey leg across the mouth of right-wing relatives is my solution

[Poultry in motion.]

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Live, From New York, It's Occupy Day of Action!

November 17, 2011. Mark it well. This, THIS is The Day When Everything Finally Changed! This is the National Day of ACTION for the Occupy Movement! The 99% are on the march! Now, finally, the nation will rally round Our Cause and bring down the crooked banksters and shut down all the corporations, and then there will be economic justice for ALL!

Kicked out of Zucchini Park, the OWSies are now marching on Wall Street, even as we speak. SHUT IT DOWN! Shut DOWN Wall Street! Shut the whole d*mn thing down! We're so angry! Watch the pigs come out and try to stop us! They shall not prevail! We shall not fail!

Live, From New York, It's Occupy Day of Action! DUmmieland is full of it. Live reports are streaming in, despite the d*mned facists trying to keeps this news from the nation. So many threads to choose from, too many to link to. We'll give you one link, to the first THREAD from this historic morning, "PHOTOS - 1000s Of OWS Protesters Gather To Literally Occupy Wall Street This Morning MARCH STARTING," and you can take it from there. But we'll be jumping from thread to thread here, doing our best to keep you informed.

So the valiant OWSies are on the march. But there's one man missing. Where is he? Why isn't he here?? And so we sing:

Tune: "Car 54, Where Are You?"

They're evicting us from camp
They don't like we are in tents
They're compacting all our clothing
They don't like we're making scents
Cops are moving in so soon
Here come Toody and Muldoon . . .
Wee Willie Pitt, where are you?

We've been kicked out of the park
Now we're marching down Wall Street
Shouting slogans, blocking traffic
Making friends of all we meet
What's that strangely missing sound?
There's no Piper to be found . . .
Wee Willie Pitt, where are you?

Up in Boston in his room
Sits the Pittster deep in thought:
"This is now the time for action
There's a battle to be fought
Soon the Bruins take the ice
Get remote control device . . .
Channel 54, where are you?"

And now to an anxious DUmmieland, monitoring the unfolding events in New York, their remarx in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, a mere scribe awed to be relaying history as it unfolds before our eyes, is in the [brackets]:

1000s Of OWS Protesters Gather To Literally Occupy Wall Street This Morning MARCH STARTING

[And so it begins.]

The world is watching

[Except for Pitt. SportsCenter, you know.]

Since this movement began to grow, it's the first time I've felt hopeful in years.

[This will turn the tide! This is the Day!]

Trying to get ready for work while watching livestream/global revolution... Yelling "THIS IS A NON-VIOLENT PROTEST." Wierd, some lady's contribution is operatic trills. Awesome!

[The Occupy ain't over till the fat lady sings.]

this is INSANE - history live

[Agree with the INSANE part.]

The wheel is turning!


They're pulling out the plastic handcuffs and there are protestors on the ground

[Land of Linkin'.]

PIGS. the motherf***ing PIGS are at it again. . . .

[Perils before swine.]


[Stock and Awe!]

my god! traffic's been stopped!

[This will bring the masses to our side!]

8:53 am: protestors taking police barricades, barricading Police vehicle

[8:54 am: products taking price barcodes, life goes on as normal]

9:00 am: NYPD confused, overwhelmed

[9:01 am: DU confused, overwhelmed, situation normal]

9:04 am: police arrest woman in wheelchair

[The wheel is turning!]



Wow, they delayed the opening bell??

[Can it be?? Will OWS get the No Bell Prize?]

#OWS organizer Patrick Bruner announces via Peoples Mic, "The bell has been delayed." Massive cheers, music and dancing erupt. #N17


Really? It doesn't start until 9:30 ET. It still has 20 minutes before it normally rings.

[Huh? Wha?]

Bell ringing on time.


Not a thing on t.v. about the march in New York..nothing.

[Look, Will, ESPN is just not going to have much on this. You've got to change channels.]

10:14 am: report of sanitation worker blocking Beaver with truck . . .

[If you've ever had your Beaver blocked, you know how painful that can be.]

. . . sanitation worker blocking Beaver with truck in solidarity with OWS

[Li'l Beaver smoking cigar with smoke rings in solidarity with fellow Beaver:]

At 5PM, protesters plan to meet at Foley Square to march to "take over the bridges"

[We have not BEGUN to annoy people!]

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

"I am literally in tears over Obama's silence on the violence against OWS"

I guess the DUmmies still haven't figured out that the whole OWS movement has backfired on the Democrats bigtime. The REAL purpose of the OWS movement was the re-election of Obama. The One figured the protests against Wall Street would develop into a class warfare grudge against the EVIL Republicans. Of course, Obama himself has received more Wall Street money than any other candidate in history. However, what Obama didn't count on is the utter foolishness of the manipulated protestors whose violence, filth, disease, crime, drugs, public defecations, and general animalism turned the public strongly against them. So now Obama had his liberal mayor allies engage in a group conference to attempt a shutdown of the embarrassing OWS boomerang. However, the incredibly naive DUmmies still believe Obama is on their side with OWS. Yeah, like a lot of Russians 75 years ago were convinced that Stalin would shut down the Gulag system if he only knew about the abuses there. Get real, DUmmies. OWS just didn't work out for Obama and now he wants it SHUT DOWN pronto. A good example of DUmmie cluelessness on this matter is exemplified in this THREAD, "I am literally in tears over Obama's silence on the violence against OWS." So let us now watch the DUmmies bemoan the silence of Obama in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that the closest WILLIAM RIVERS PITT has gotten to an OWS protest is being photoshopped into it in the pic above, is in the [barackets]:

I am literally in tears over Obama's silence on the violence against OWS

[I am literally in tears laughing over your extreme naivete, DUmmie nadine_mn.]

I am not normally someone who cries easily (despite my prior journal entry to the contrary) but talking to my husband tonight about the recent OWS evictions and destruction of property, the countrywide violence by the police against our own citizens, I just started to cry that our President has not denounced the brute force that has been directed at those protesting.

[Please, Mr. President. I beg you to denounce the brute force directed at the OWSers that you demanded take place.]

I am not saying he should co-opt the movement, I understand that people will disagree about the right to camp out (I believe for the record as long as its peaceful, they should be allowed to camp out in public parks), and I understand that with every protest there will be a few asshats who get violent just for the hell of it. But for crying out loud - how much more can we tolerate?

[I bet you can't tolerate the intolerable truth that it is OBAMA that now wants a shutdown of the OWS protests because the public has turned against it bigtime.]

But overall, the brute force that has been directed nationwide - not a few rogue bad cops - and the tactics of media blackouts, and so on... if this was any other nation (esp one that had oil), our leaders would be up in arms about supporting democracy and decrying the force used against a country's own citizens.

[Sigh! How about if we slightly alter your screen name to nadine_dumb?]

I feel numb in some respects - how can this be happening here, in 2011, with a Democratic president? How can he not say something at least along the lines about not turning on peaceful protestors?

[You're not numb, just DUmb.]

I am just outraged, frustrated, and saddened that even in Obama continues to ignore this issue I still have to vote for him.

[And you will still vote for Obama IF the fog enveloping your tiny mind ever clears enough for you to see the obvious...namely that Obama himself has ordered a shutdown on the OWS encampments? And now to the rest of the equally DUmb DUmmies...]

If the president were to endorse it, he would open himself up to accusations of supporting anarchy. That's not really the case, but that's the way FOX would spin it. Like it or not, FOX crap does influence a large portion of the voting population.

[Yeah, Obama is merely the helpless victim of nefarious FOX machinations.]

Bloomberg's girlfriend is one of the owners of the park. That is
a HUGE part of this.

[Lotti Zuccotti?]

'Occupy' crackdowns coordinated with federal law enforcement officials

[STOP!!! You're getting too close to the horrible truth!]

Over the past ten days, more than a dozen cities have moved to evict "Occupy" protesters from city parks and other public spaces. As was the case in last night's move in New York City, each of the police actions shares a number of characteristics. And according to one Justice official, each of those actions was coordinated with help from Homeland Security, the FBI and other federal police agencies.

[But Obama had no knowledge of this. He has been hermetically sealed from brutal reality inside of a giant condom.]

Its not even a support of OWS I am asking for (although it would be awesome). Denounce the tactics againts the people - guns, pepper spray, etc should not be used as a first response

[Um...Guess WHO ordered the OWS removals, nadine_dumb?]

Well I definitely agree with you there. I mean WTF was up with raiding them at 1 a.m.?

[They should have waited until noon when the OWSies had a chance to get their beauty rest.]

I completely agree with the OP. This movement has exposed and confirmed a lot about our political system and the silence of our Elected officials is shameful. They do not need to support the movement, but to not condemn the brutality of the police against peaceful people is simply shameful and tells way more than any words they might say, would do.

[You're as DUmb as nadine_dumb.]

Someone has to stand up for OWS.. it should be Obama. Oh ya..I forgot.. Obama put 70-year-old cancer patients in jail for possession of Medical MJ, while his AG shipped guns to Mexican Drug Cartels.

[For some reason I am suspecting that you are a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Why seek the presidency at all if you're so disinterested in the goings on within the country?

[Because you get to golf, vacation on Martha's Vineyard, and fly around the country in Air Force One on the public dime.]

He has said stuff about other countries, Egypt, Tunisia, Libya, Syria and criticized the crackdowns on people exercising their rights to protest, why would he not do the same thing for his own people?

[Because he wants the OWS idiots gone and forgotten before the election campaign.]

Department of Homeland Security, which is coordinating the raids, is federal. Therefore he does have a say in this.

[Please stop! I can't handle the truth!]

Doubt it would be "active" - my guess is that he's just ignoring it and letting Justice and Homeland Security handle it. He could say something if he wanted to, but he won't.

[Guys, you shut down the OWS. I just want to eat my shrimp.]

There are rapes, and may even be murders at OWS going forward. If he steps in and someone is hurt, killed, or raped, then he will be blamed.

[FUnnie but we haven't heard of a single rape or murder at a Tea Party event. Not even public defecations.]

Well normal people are looking at the limited clips of what's going on and it doesn't look very good.

[Like this public defecation CLIP?]

Let me clarify... OWS is getting very little coverage here. The little bit they've shown has been negative.

[How about that public defecation clip of an OWSie going above and beyond the call of doody?]

He's not saying anything because he supports the crackdown. The attacks on OWS are coordinated by Homeland Security, the FBI and other Federal police agencies.

[Oh my poor burning ears! The brutal truth is stinging them!]

Hi, I'm the husband of Nadine_Mn.

[You have my sympathies.]

President Obama needs to denounce the violence at OWS.

[Apparently you are as DUmb as your wife.]

The conclusion I've come to is that we have to get rid of capitalism, one way or another.

[Say hello to Little Lenin.]

And he SHOULD have something to say about it!!! Jesus, i thought he was a CONSTITUTIONAL Scholar for crissakes! For all the shit he said in 2008, all that made me cry THEN...his silence is making me livid today

[If his silence is making you livid then the brutal truth that he DIRECTED the closure of the OWS protests would make your head explode. But Obama need have no fear. You are guaranteed to vote for him next year.]

My anger at this administration is beyond civil expression on this board. This country and all of its people have been horribly, horribly betrayed.

[You want a hankie to cry into?]

I'm not in tears.

I never expected anything better

I'm angry. More intense than angry. Livid.

I've been that way since '08.

I don't HAVE to do a damned thing except die.

[Yet another vote for Obama from the grave.]

I have a terrible feeling we will really be thrown under the bus. I honestly don't think I could go vote if the democrats throw us under the bus. If they do they are no different then the other side. I am afraid there will be many people home crying. Then we will need to find someone to take on the president.

[Mark this DUmmie down as a sure vote for Obama next year.]

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

"Occupy-ers! WE HAVE OUR ANTHEM"

Why hasn't the Occupy Movement captured the imagination of the American public yet? Why do the righteous protesters seem like just a bunch of spoiled college kids with free-floating angst, taking off a semester to hang out and hook up in tents? Why has Occupy Wall Street been such an epic fail so far?

Well, it must be because they have lacked . . . AN ANTHEM! Yes, that's what they need! And now they have it! Problem solved. As we see and hear in this THREAD, "Occupy-ers! WE HAVE OUR ANTHEM."

So without further ado, let us tune our ears to the sound of the DUmmies, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who smells a parody coming on, is in the [brackets]:


[All right! Now we're cookin' with GAS! Now this thing's gonna TAKE OFF! An ANTHEM! Just what we need! This will turn the corner!]

Sorry for shouting but I'm so excited. This is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful

[DUmmie Remember Me links to a song called "We Are the Many," by some Bob Dylan/Pete Seeger wannabe called Makana. I'm sorry to report, though, that this "anthem" is pitiful, pitiful, pitiful. Boring rhyme scheme, clumsy lyrics, leftist cliches, enervating music. Other than that, it's a real winner. Look and listen for yourself. Here is the link to the VIDEO, and here are the lyrics:]

We Are The Many

Ye come here, gather 'round the stage
The time has come for us to voice our rage
Against the ones who've trapped us in a cage
To steal from us the value of our wage

From underneath the vestiture of law
The lobbyists at Washington do gnaw
At liberty, the bureaucrats guffaw
And until they are purged, we won't withdraw

We'll occupy the streets
We'll occupy the courts
We'll occupy the offices of you
Till you do
The bidding of the many, not the few

Our nation was built upon the right
Of every person to improve their plight
But laws of this Republic they rewrite
And now a few own everything in sight

They own it free of liability
They own, but they are not like you and me
Their influence dictates legality
And until they are stopped we are not free

We'll occupy the streets
We'll occupy the courts
We'll occupy the offices of you
Till you do
The bidding of the many, not the few

You enforce your monopolies with guns
While sacrificing our daughters and sons
But certain things belong to everyone
Your thievery has left the people none

So take heed of our notice to redress
We have little to lose, we must confess
Your empty words do leave us unimpressed
A growing number join us in protest

We occupy the streets
We occupy the courts
We occupy the offices of you
Till you do
The bidding of the many, not the few

You can't divide us into sides
And from our gaze, you cannot hide
Denial serves to amplify
And our allegiance you can't buy

Our government is not for sale
The banks do not deserve a bail
We will not reward those who fail
We will not move till we prevail

We'll occupy the streets
We'll occupy the courts
We'll occupy the offices of you
Till you do
The bidding of the many, not the few

We'll occupy the streets
We'll occupy the courts
We'll occupy the offices of you
Till you do
The bidding of the many, not the few

We are the many
You are the few

[Now here is a new and improved version, by yours truly, the wag tailoring the doggerel:

Tune: "We Are the Many" by Makana

Ye come here, gather in a throng
The time has come for us to write a song
Against the ones who've done us . . . something wrong
So pardon me while I put down my bong

From Underground the Democratics flock
The activists at Wall Street now do occ-
-upy the park, though freeper types may mock
And yet still we now fill a city block

We'll urinate the streets
We'll defecate the parks
We'll populate and copulate and screw
Till you do
The bidding of the moonbats on DU

Our hatred is rage against the Right
Toward every person who induces fright
The lousy Free Republic trolls we spite
And all the evil rich guys who are white

They own us all just like a lemon tree
And other things that rhyme with "B" and "D"
Their affluence provokes our jealousy
Now until when we shop we get stuff free

We'll urinate the streets
We'll defecate the parks
We'll populate and copulate and screw
Till you do
The bidding of the moonbats on DU

We must pay for your apple cream cheese buns
And from our wallets out the money runs
But everything belongs to everyone
To charge for things is not so very fun

So take heed of our whining and our stress
We have no arguments, we must confess
Our common sense has left us, as you guessed
But mental numbness won't stop our protest

We urinate the streets
We defecate the parks
We populate and copulate and screw
Till you do
The bidding of the moonbats on DU

You cannot tell our gals from guys
And of our guys, they're mostly high
Our grungy hippies typify
That we're collegians, I won't lie

That whiff of odor in the air
The clothes we started with we wear
We will not shampoo stringy hairs
We will not bathe like billionaires

We'll urinate the streets
We'll defecate the parks
We'll populate and copulate and screw
Till you do
The bidding of the moonbats on DU

We'll urinate the streets
We'll defecate the parks
We'll populate and copulate and screw
Till you do
The bidding of the moonbats on DU

We are the moonbats
We are DU ]

Oh boy this is a sweet sound right here! The Occupier's anthem, sounds perfect to me!

[It's got a good beat, and it's easy to dance to. I give it a 99%.]

Share it on your Facebook wall


awesome song...awesome action for one individual!!!


Does every protest song have to be wimpy folk music? Don't get me wrong, I love the message and I love the Occupy movement but I can't listen to this.

[Everybody's a music critic, eh? LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

It may be wimpy folk music, but it's not too bad.

[Thanks for that ringing endorsement. I'm sure Makana will want to put that blurb on his album cover: "It may be wimpy folk music, but it's not too bad."]

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Artist Frank Miller Brutally Slams OWS Protests

WOW! The DUmmies are in a rage because comix artist and writer, Frank Miller, is now slamming the OWS protests. And it is not just polite criticisms as you can see HERE. It is a full out body slam with a harsh slap in the face. It should be big news but I have seen almost nothing about this in the mainstream media, or anywhere else, except for this crybaby THREAD in protest from the DUmmies, "Has Frank Miller always been this much of an asshole?" So let us now watch the DUmmies scream in Bloody Bolshevik Red in protest against Frank Miller laying out what OWS is about in black and white, while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who coincidentally saw Miller's 300 for about the 300th time on the tube last night, is in the [brackets]:

Has Frank Miller always been this much of an asshole?

[Only because you perceive Miller as leaving the leftwing GroupThink reservation that he was never on in the first place. And here is what Frank Miller WROTE about OWS that is causing all the DUmmie OUTRAGE...]

Everybody’s been too damn polite about this nonsense:

[Brian Williams has been absolutely reverent about the OWS nonsense.]

The “Occupy” movement, whether displaying itself on Wall Street or in the streets of Oakland (which has, with unspeakable cowardice, embraced it) is anything but an exercise of our blessed First Amendment. “Occupy” is nothing but a pack of louts, thieves, and rapists, an unruly mob, fed by Woodstock-era nostalgia and putrid false righteousness. These clowns can do nothing but harm America.

[Don't hold back, Frank. Tell us what you really think.]

“Occupy” is nothing short of a clumsy, poorly-expressed attempt at anarchy, to the extent that the “movement” – HAH! Some “movement”, except if the word “bowel” is attached - is anything more than an ugly fashion statement by a bunch of iPhone, iPad wielding spoiled brats who should stop getting in the way of working people and find jobs for themselves.

[And don't forget the Trust Fund spoiled brats.]

This is no popular uprising. This is garbage. And goodness knows they’re spewing their garbage – both politically and physically – every which way they can find.

Wake up, pond scum. America is at war against a ruthless enemy.

[For DUmmies the word "conservatives" would come to mind.]

Maybe, between bouts of self-pity and all the other tasty tidbits of narcissism you’ve been served up in your sheltered, comfy little worlds, you’ve heard terms like al-Qaeda and Islamicism.

And this enemy of mine — not of yours, apparently - must be getting a dark chuckle, if not an outright horselaugh - out of your vain, childish, self-destructive spectacle.

In the name of decency, go home to your parents, you losers. Go back to your mommas’ basements and play with your Lords Of Warcraft.

[And pop open your pizza cartons.]

Or better yet, enlist for the real thing. Maybe our military could whip some of you into shape.

They might not let you babies keep your iPhones, though. Try to soldier on.



[WHEW! Frank was really frank and, of course, the DUmmies are really outraged as you can see...]

Warning! Hate attack, Hate attack, Warning!

[Thought Crime alert.]

AFAIK he's a far right he's great at writing violent dystopian comic books...but not so great when it comes to real world political opinions.

[Translation: Frank Miller does not engage in GroupThink.]

I think these Neocons are scared shitless. . .

[Everybody should be scared of catching lice at the OWS encampments.]

Whenever a RepubliCON unleashes such hate onto another group, you can bet that RepubliCONs are going down the crapper. You can equate their spew of hate with the last words of the Wicked Witch Of The West "Ohhh! You cursed brat! Look what you've done! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! ..."

[Frank Miller writes fantasy but you LIVE in fantasy.]

He's a fascist. No, really. He's a fascist. Just read his comic books and you'll see the patterns.

[Send out the Thought Crime arrest warrant.]

Friday, November 11, 2011

Oligarchs, Fear the OWSies!

The Oligarchs must be shaking in their baby seal skin boots. The OWSies are on the move! "Batten down the hatches, boys, and pull up the drawbridges! How can we Oligarchs survive, when the OccupAnts are on the march??"

This is a worldwide movement that's gone global. There's no stopping it now. Pandora's box is out of the bottle. The Rubicon has reached a tipping point.

The DUmmies recognize all this, of course, being the keen geopolitical observers that they are, as we see in this THREAD by DUmmie Jackpine Radical, "I think what scares the Oligarchs more than anything else about OWS. . . ."

So let us enter the think tank (or stink tank) that is the DUmp, in Redolent Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--wondering which sporting events the 40-Year-Old Insurgent, aka Will Pitt, will be watching this weekend instead of going to an Occupy protest--is in the [brackets]:

I think what scares the Oligarchs more than anything else about OWS is . . .

[Communicable disease?]

is that they can't understand it, they can't get a conceptual grip on what they're dealing with. . . .

[Look, even I can understand a bunch of skulls-full-of-mush college kids wanting to get out of class and get into each other's tents and feel good and righteous about doing it. It's called "1968." I understand it, and I'm not even an Oligarch!]

So what are they going to do? Distract, demonize, project, seek to crank up the ambient fear level (like with that incredible Bush-era color terror alert business; Migod, they were trying to use those colors like a thermostat so they could turn the fear level up or down as needed for the political moment!).

[The OWSies are generating a Fear Level Fuchsia.]

I expect that they will at some point in the near future attempt to impose some controls on the Internet.

[The Oligarchs will DEMAND more DUmmie FUnnies!]

This will fail, as will everything else that they try. There may be some short-term setbacks for the Movement, but in the long run the Oligarchs can’t win.

[You've won long enough, Oligarchs! Your time is up!]

Today's young people swim in a sea of information unlike anything we old farts could have imagined. . . .

[It's been an MSNBC change! The kids today are Youtubing in the Current TV!]

The Occupy Movement is like the perfect science-fiction monster.

{Jobless the Nutt.]

The various components of the Oligopoly are necessarily and inherently structured in a “spider”-style, and the very nature of their structure renders them unable to account for the astonishing ability of the "starfish" movement to form and reform itself, to invent and instantly implement wildly creative responses to the challenges it faces.

[Advancing With The Starfishes.]

I think the new interconnectedness of humanity is turning the species into a transpersonal entity with emergent properties that we cannot even guess at as yet.

[Meaning, I don't have a clue what I'm talking about. I'm just blowing gas out my @ss.]

[Thank you, DUmmie Jackpine Radical, for that specious analysis. Now let's see what your interconnected transpersonalities have to say . . .]

{{{{{{Robert Frost}}}}}}}}

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

[{{{{{{Robert Fist}}}}}}}}

Whose tents these are I think you know
We're Occupying Wall Street, so
All through the night we stay right here
And piss outside when we must go

Though some are straight, and some are queer
Us OWSies got our ass in gear
And this commitment we did make
To skip our classes all this year

Yes, we are strong, we make them quake
The Oligarchs in boots do shake
And they must go, before they sleep
To cabinets for pills to take

Though you may say that we are sheep
Our bleating noise is full of bleep
And moles lay low before they freep
And moles lay low before they freep]

we are all PART of that collective consciousness, as is everyone on DU. Maybe us old fogeys can never be as much at home in the Internet group consciousness as the young folks are since we didn't grow up with it. But to the extent that we participate, we are still part of the swarm, the group consciousness.

[Usually getting the DUmmies into ANY state of consciousness is the first trick.]

If you could download what's in my mind . . .

[What a virus my thoughts would give. . . .]

I have too much to say about this, so . . .

[I'll bore you all to tears anyway.]

Our collective consciousness has passed an important threshold. A tipping point was reached this year, 2011.

[Our collective consciousness has tipped over.]

A sufficient number of humans have now taken the red pill.

[The Bolshevik Red pill.]

Watch out! That means a quantum leap in social development lies ahead since it's individuals on the cutting edge who will cut the grooves that the mass of any given society will be pulled into in a spiral of ever higher development.


A high enough number of disobedient Ones have hacked into the Matrix and seen through its programming code. Their awareness of what is real and what is pretentiously fake has gone viral. It has infected the human collective. . . .

[Listen, herpes CAN be treated.]

They have become Neo - the One. . . .

[They have tried Neo - sporin. . . .]

Percy Bysshe Shelley - The Mask of Anarchy

And that slaughter to the Nation
Shall steam up like inspiration,
Eloquent, oracular;
A volcano heard afar.

[Pretty Darn Smelley - The Musk of Occupy

And that laughter of the Nation
Shall crack up at your deflation
Flatulent, spectacular
A fart noise heard afar]

What you say doesn't make any sense at all. You might want to engage the brain before you type.

[Naah! This is DUmmieland!]

I worry about the possibility of biological Warfare being used against OWS.

[Don't worry. They're doing a good enough job of that on their own.]

Fierce voice!

[Fart noise!]

'Creating a new society'? By camping out in tents? I'm sorry, I just don't see that this is going to change things much.

[And moles lay low before they freep
And moles lay low before they freep]

Long live OWS.

[Yes, please! It is a Mother Lode of Comedy Gold!]

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

"Will Pitt's 40th Birthday today..."

OK, I promise: After today, I will take a moratorium on Will Pitt DUFUs for a while. But today IS the man's 40th birthday, after all, and he IS the Pied Piper of DUmmieland, and he has been the #1 star of the DUmmie FUnnies over these past 7+ years. So a special birthday tribute today to William Rivers Pitt.

Really, though, it's just an excuse to post a song I came up with since yesterday. Yesterday we DUFUed Will's THREAD, "Woke up this morning just covered in Fail," in which the Pittster bemoaned not some setback in the Occupy movement--no, OccupiedWillPitt hasn't even been out to one of the Occupy protests yet--but rather he bemoaned the fact that his sports teams lost over the weekend. That's right, Hiding Hypocrite Pitt has been home watching sports on TV rather than being out on the front lines with his courageous sisters and brothers.

So in that spirit, and in honor of the birthday boy, I have written this tribute to Wee Willie. Click the music link and sing along!

Tune: "(When I Woke Up This Morning) You Were on My Mind", by We Five

When I woke up on Monday
I was full of Fail
And I was full of Fail
My teams burned me, whoa, whoa
Tossed and turned me, whoa, whoa
Hear me weep and wail

So I went to Bukowski's
I got full of ale
Said, I got full of ale
I got plastered, whoa, whoa
Drunk, disastered, whoa, whoa
I got out a pail

But I woke up this morning
I was on my mind
Said, I was on mind
I turned forty, four-oh
Watch more sporty, go, go
I'll stay here reclined

Hey, I got a TV
Down in my room
Said, lay down in my room
Hey, I got cable, whoa, whoa
TV table, whoa, whoa
I'm gonna watch away my gloom

When I woke up this morning
I was on my mind
And marching's such a grind
Hey, it's too chilly, whoa, whoa
I'm Wee Willie, whoa, whoa
I'll stay here reclined

Now today, on Wee Willie's birthday itself, Mother Pitt, aka DUmmie Raven, has posted this congratulatory THREAD for Sonny Boy, "Will Pitt's 40th Birthday today..."

So let's drop in on the party, shall we, in Birthday Balloon Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, encouraging all of you DU moles to stop in and wish William the best, is in the [brackets]:

Will Pitt's 40th Birthday today...

[William Pitt the Younger is now William Pitt the Elder.]

How did this happen?????

[If you don't remember, Mother Pitt, I'm guessing it involved Will Pitt's dad.]

I guess I was a child bride.

[Raven laid an egg.]

Happy B'Day Will!

[The Day When Willie Pitt Finally Aged. Now we will see an older, wiser, more mature William Rivers Pitt, less of the over-imbibing trust-fund baby, and more of the Professorial Pipesmoker Pitt.]

HA! Awesome.

[Or not. William thanks Mumsy for giving him this thread.]

How does a young lass like you have a 40-year-old son?

[Lass is more . . . than 60.]

Happy Birthday, Will! You're one of the best we've got!

[Amazingly, this is true! But this is like saying the Rams are one of the best football teams in St. Louis.]

H B, W P......and manny moe..

[O W S, A W O L, W P......and MIA..]

Where's the cake?

[Where's Willie? Not at the protest!]

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Pied Piper Pitt: "Woke up this morning just covered in Fail."

William Rivers Pitt: Citizen. Journalist. Activist. International best-selling author. Bouncer at Bukowski's. Pied Piper of DUmmieland. Where Mr. Pitt leads, the DUmmies will surely follow.

And the Magic Man always leads by example. He stood up next to a mountain with Andy. He stood in a ditch with Mother Sheehan, braving furious fire ants for, oh, a good ten, fifteen minutes. William Pitt the Bolder nailed the Downing Street Memos to the White House door, at least mentally, on the Day When Everything Finally Changed. And Journalist Pitt BROKE the Fitzmas scoop on the Rove sealed indictment when no one else would touch it! Yes, if there is truth to be spoken to power, William Rivers Pitt will be OUT THERE, leading the charge!

Now, as we count down the 24 business hours until the Ninth of November, when a grateful nation celebrates the 40th anniversary of the Nativity of William the Conjurer, it is thrilling to see Mr. Pitt spring into action once again, leading the way for the rest of us, in the Righteous Cause DU Jour, namely, the mighty Occupy movement.

But the road to reform is strewn with setbacks, as William seems to be indicating by the title of this THREAD, "Woke up this morning just covered in Fail."

So let us now find out what has happened to Mr. Pitt to cause him such distress, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wondering how the OccupAnts will honor Pitt on his 40th birthday for leading the way for them--for us!--is in the [brackets]:

Woke up this morning just covered in Fail.

[Oh, dear William, pray, tell us, what ill has befallen you in your STRUGGLE for truth and justice? I know. It must be those D*MN Rethuglicans!]

My father went to the University of Alabama. . . .

[Hmm. This must have something to do with the principles of progress and social justice that your dear pater learned at that august institution and then instilled, lovingly, in you. I see, I see.]

My father went to the University of Alabama, so I am a Tide fan.

[Huh? Wha?]


[Football? You're squawking about FOOTBALL??]

My wife is from Pittsburgh, and is a Steelers fan. Fail.

[Now you're upset about YOUR WIFE'S FOOTBALL TEAM??? Here I thought this would be about how the jackbooted thug police were persecuting you as you stood on the front lines of the Occupy protest, leading the way in the global revolution! The Pittsburgh Steelers?? Really?? What about the Wall Street Stealers?!]

I am from New England, and am a Patriots fan. Big Fat Hairy 18-1 Flashbacking Tyree F*** Sh*t @$$ B*lls G*d D*mn It Anyway FAIL.

[My asterisk key is getting low.]

Gonna be one of those weeks when I have to avoid Sportscenter at all costs.

[Why are you avoiding THE OCCUPY PROTESTS at all costs??]

I had a deep rooting interest in what were arguably the three biggest games of the weekend. . . .

[OccupiedWillPitt was just too busy to be bothered with anything else. William, what about your "deep rooting interest" in rooting out the root causes of ECONOMIC INJUSTICE, my friend? Why aren't you out there, standing shoulder to shoulder with your sisters and brothers on the front lines? Have you become Hiding Hypocrite Pitt?]

in every instance, in every game, one after the other after the other...Screwn.

[Your Occupy comrades...Screwn. By yewn.]

It isn't just the weekend's serial defeats, so much as it is the manner in which they came to pass. An LSU field goal in OT after a magnificent defensive Eli Manning thunderclap of a drive with a minute left on the clock...and Joe Fa Chr*ssakes Flacco drives the field against a Steelers D that's only old on paper and throws a strike to win with eight seconds left? Yeah. That happened.

[OccuPied Piper Pitt sat home with his recliner and remote while his fellow Progs endured beatdowns and pepper gas. Yeah. That happened.]

Yes yes yes, poor me and my three Super Bowls, two World Series wins, one NBA championship and an unutterably satisfying Stanley Cup victory...which makes...let me see...yeah, that's seven championship parades down Boylston Street in the last ten years (plus a 'Bama win tucked in there for good measure)...poor faaaaahkin' me.

[Poor Couch Potato Pitt.]

But d*mn, man. D*mn d*mn d*mn. It is a surly Monday morning in the Pitt compound.

[Don't worry, Will! Wednesday will be a BIRTHDAY morning in the Pitt compound! Let you eat cake!]

Before yesterday, the Bills had scored more points than any team in the AFC, including my vaunted Patriots. The Bills also have the most INTs (a number Sanchise added to), and a very respectable defense overall. That was no cupcake team the Jets beat yesterday.

[This is no cupcake you will eat tomorrow. It will be BIRTHDAY CAKE! FORTY CANDLES, WILLIAM! FOUR-OH! YIPPEE!!]

NFC? It's a torturous stretch to rah-rah for the Steelers, but I do it for my wife. I'm not crossing that particular Rubicon. . . .

[Will with a hat-tip there to Rubicon-crossing nadinbrzezinski.]

I went to Holy Cross. We rooted for BC whenever they played ND. How's that for divided loyalties?

[Staying at home watching sports in the comfort of your Barcalounger while your fellow activists are out there, literally DYING--well, figuratively literally dying--dying for The Cause. . . . How's THAT for divided loyalties? Happy Birthday, Mr. Pitt!]

Sunday, November 06, 2011

"It is NOT about wealth-envy!!!"

The DUmmies have pennies envy. And dimes envy. And dollars envy. Only, they are in denial about it, big-time. Witness this THREAD by DUmmie Fantastic Anarchist, "It is NOT about wealth-envy!!!"

Methinks DUmmie Fantastic Anarchist doth protest too much! About the wealth envy, I mean. I don't know if DUmmie Fantastic Anarchist doth protest at all, in terms of actually showing up at Occupy protests. Maybe he's pulling a Pitt and protesting from the comfort of his recliner. (BTW, the countdown to Wee Willie's 40th birthday continues. We are now down to about 56 business hours till Wednesday.)

Anyhoo, we now join the DUmmies as they deny they want our dineros, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wondering what Pitt wants for his birthday, is in the [brackets]:

It is NOT about wealth-envy!!!

[Meaning, It's about wealth envy.]

It is about not letting them have exclusive control to the levers of power.

[THEM! It's those lousy Them again!]

It's really all that simple.

[Thank you, DUmmie Fantastic Anarchist, for that most satisfying explanation. Now let's see what your fellow wealth-eschewers have to say . . .]

If anything, it's exactly opposite... our horror at their spending, at our expense.

[This, coming from a Democrat. Taste the irony.]

wealth envy is what they have so naturally they're projecting it on us. Because they want us to envy them their wealth which to them is god. See, it's always about them.

[Those Them!!]

We DO envy them. Most of us, anyways, I think. I wish I had more money. I wish I had more toys.

[Diogenes, your search is over. I have found an honest DUmmie.]

There is nothing wrong with that. It's part of what propelled us to walk on two legs in the first place.

[William Pitt must be far advanced. He can walk on three legs:]

It's not envy if all you want is for everyone to live a comfortable lifestyle.

[Without having to work hard for it.]

Anyone who "needs" more than $6K per month to survive is a parasite on all of us.

[WE'LL determine how much people can earn! And 72G is IT!]

Depends on where you live. New York is more expensive than St. Louis.

[Out here in St. Louis, we're still on the barter system, fur traders and such.]

You know what? I make more than $6K a month.


I use that money to support myself, my wife, three children and a grandchild.

[No fair! What about the rest of us? We have a right to your money!!]

It allows us to have a safe place to live, food, clothing, transportation and education.

[Yeah, right! A gated McMansion, caviar on a stick, fur stoles, a big yacht, and some ivy-covered frat house!]

So take your talk about parasites and put it somewhere uncomfortable.

[Up your nose with a protozoa!]

It's not about that. It's about access to power.

[DUmmie Fantastic Anarchist is still in denial.]

I don't really envy them their mansions and personal possessions and toys.

[Their iPads and their 72-inch televisions and nice stereo equipment and Napa Valley wines and trips to Europe and skiing in Vail and LYING ON THE BEACH IN THE BAHAMAS IN JANUARY, D*MMIT, AND-- oops, got a little carried away there for a moment. NO, I DON'T ENVY THOSE RICH B*ST*RDS AT ALL!!!]

they don't realize that while they're busy stealing the nation's resources and wealth, that by itself makes some people poor. They don't realize when they take, someone has to give.

Oh I do think they realize that. They know exactly who they are taking from. "Shared" sacrifice proves that they know.

[Those Them They Themsters, They!!]


[= -1 for somebody else! GRRR!]

They can have all the money they think they need; just quit running my life. Which is what they really want - it is why they want the money.

[That's it! My secret's out. I really want to run DUmmie treestar's life. It is the reason I pull on my pants in the morning.]

When they have enough, they could just stop and take a trip around the world - enjoy it - but they don't.

[No, they come to treestar's house and run his life!]

Why would I envy a money-hoarder...any more than I envy the old lady with the 137 cats, or the old fart who has 350 wrecked cars in his pasture?

[72G can buy a lot of things, more than 137 cats can.]

The county can... and does... limit the number of cats you can have beyond reasonable norms. The government should limit the amount of money you have beyond reasonable norms.

[136 cats, 71G, those are the upper limits now.]

Unfortunately, that sounds like 'socialism' or even 'communism' to most people.

[You got a problem with that? What are you, some kind of cat hoarder?]

Say, any amount of money over a certain limit would need to be invested in creating a company (jobs) or in donations to a cause of your choice.

[How about the cause of me and my family? How about the cause of you staying out of my business?]

Otherwise, it simply reverts to the government to do what it wants.

[How can it "revert" to the government, when it never "verted" from the government in the first place?]

On the other hand, most people would never aspire to taking in more money than they need, to avoid this limit, and progress (from private enterprise) would grind to a halt, and we would be left to the government to decide more than they do now.

[DUH! Brilliant, Einstein! You are now on the road to becoming a conservative! Baby steps.]

This whole sh*tstorm is about power-consolidation by the elite. Thanks to the reification and fetishizing of money, the accumulation of money has become identical with the accumulation of power, so (richer == more powerful) and (more powerful == richer).

[benburch fetishizes money. He once married a roll of quarters.]

They're the proverbial hamster on the wheel; attain more money to attain more power to attain more money to attain more power - ad nauseaum.

[ben also was married to a hamster.]

Sure it is [about wealth envy]. That's why some people are talking about a "maximum wage." That's why some people are asking, "Who needs THAT much money?" You can try all the nuance you want, but this current movement is about attacking a class that has something you don't.

[TWO honest DUmmies in one thread! Diogenes must have had a BOGO!]