Monday, November 28, 2011

"Occupy San Diego Flash Mob Invades Wal-Mart"



OCCUPY EVERYTHING! ANNOY EVERYONE! That seems to be the motto of the OWSies. And the DUmmies are right with them, at least in spirit, even if the only thing they're occupying is Mom's basement.

So this past Friday, "Black Friday," the OWSies of San Diego decided to "flash mob" Wal-Mart. Load up lots of shopping carts, move to the check-out lines, shout out some DUmb manifesto, then leave the carts there and walk out the store. Turn "Black Friday" into "Block Friday": Block people from checking out. Really effective protest there, OWSies. You are breaking the back of the corporate masters. Well, no, actually, all you are doing is pissing off Mr. and Mrs. Average American and causing the poor Wal-Mart workers extra work to unload your carts and put all the stuff back on the shelves. Good move, comrades.

So let us now go to this THREAD by DUmmie/OWSie Juneboarder, "Occupy San Diego flash mobs two Walmarts today!" and the accompanying VIDEO, "Occupy San Diego Flash Mob Invades Wal-Mart." The DUmmie Re-Marx are in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, hoping some corporate types go and flash mob an Occupy protest, is in the [brackets]:

Occupy San Diego flash mobs two Walmarts today!

[This will do it, I'm SURE!]

Approximately 75 people met up this morning at a transit center with the knowledge of flash mob that will happen and nothing else.

[A bus stop full of flash-mob experts. The mind boggles.]

I was a little apprehensive being that I didn't know how we could incoroprate dancing into the 99% movement, nor having much ability to dance.

[The Dance of the Dense.]

Their idea on the flash mob was that we'd all enter Walmart inconspicuously and shop for 30 minutes, filling up our carts as much as possible.

["Inconspicuously"? Don't you think your gray ponytails and your pierced eyebrows would give you away? No, wait. This is Wal-Mart we're talking about.]

Then we'd meet at the front to check out and the first person to get up to a checker calls asks the cashier to page their child (Michael Check) to the checkstand cause they're ready to leave. . . .

["Michael Check." Oh, you're so clever. I bet you like to page Ben Dover and Mike Hunt.]

MIC CHECK! Citizens of Walmart!! Greetings and welcome back from the food coma!!

[Welcome to the five-minute lane blockage!!]

In the spirit of holiday giving, we believe a discussion is in order about the meaning of value and low cost. For every low-priced product purchased at Walmart, your communities pay the difference. . . .

[Blah, blah, blah. Proceed with long-winded, annoying manifesto.]

WE DO NOT HAVE TO BUY THE SCAM!! WE DO NOT HAVE TO BUY DOLLAR-COLLARS FOR OUR FAMILIES!! WE DO NOT HAVE TO BUY ANY OF THIS!!

[WE DO HAVE TO WAIT AROUND AN ADDITIONAL FIVE MINUTES WHILE MR. HEAD OWSIE READS THIS BORING SCREED!!]

SELF-MADE GIFTS HAVE MORE POWER ANYWAY!!

[ROLL YOUR OWN!! GIVE YOUR LOVED ONES A PACK OF HOMEMADE DOOBIES!!]

Thank you, Exit Safely, and remember to smile...

[Smile, even though you're all pissed off from us making you wait in line longer.]

After that there was applause as we all 75 left our carts and exited the disgusting, big box store.

[Making LOTS of extra work for the already-frazzled Wal-Mart employees.]

We received thumbs ups from employees. . . .

[I don't think those were their thumbs they were holding up.]

claps at the end. . . .

[People were glad you were finally done and they could now get checked out.]

when walking out . . . we walked past shouting, "We are the 99%, YOU are the 99%!"

[We are the Nutty-Nut Percent!]

the mic-check. It was entirely envigorating.

[It was entirely aggravating.]

There was one @sshat that charged past us and screamed "You f***ing socialists!" Yes, a good laugh. . . .

[Yes, it was so FUnnie, because of course we're NOT socialists. We're Communists!]

I am proud to stand in solidarity with Occupy San Diego.

[Thank you, DUmmie/OWSie Juneboarder, for that inspiring after-action report. Now to your fellow DUmmies . . .]

And me still nursing this dang cold or would have been there to record it... Yes I know excuses and you know what... but don't feel like having this become pneumonia.

[DUmmie nadinbrzezinski has some cockamamie excuse for not being there. Like someone could really get a cold in San Diego. More like Nads wants to sit in her bomb shelter drinking triage milk and posting on the DUmp and going to Conservative Cave to see how she's doing in the race for DUmmie of the Year.]

Good job!

[Know-it-all Nadin approves! As long as she doesn't have to go there in person.]

I wish you woulda been there!! We were looking for someone that could say our message in spanish over the mic check...

[Know-it-all Nadin knows all languages--Spanish, English, Martian, Wal-Martian, you name it. She can misspeak in all of them!]

Wow, and shoppers are repeating along!

[No, Sarah Imadummi, those are just the other OWSies repeating after the Head OWSie.]

I would do this!

[But, Sarah Ibuprofen, what if your right-wing boyfriend who treats you nice objected? Would you choose him or The Cause? BTW, Sarah Ibarruri, you would be my runner-up to nadinbrzezinski for DUmmie of the Year. Good luck to both of you!]

I went to Walmart around 7 p.m. yesterday to 'walk' my mom. She walks the mall every day. . . .

[Walk your mom at a local small business instead. Shorter aisles, true. But just do more reps.]

I knew OWS would use flash mobs!

[Stupid, ineffective, annoying--why, it's a natural!]

So how does one sign up for a flash mob?

[Look in the phone book under "DUmb."]

I've been online following their tweets, facebook posts and message board updates. . . .

[Using your DUmbphone and your laptop that you bought at some disgusting big-box store, I'm sure. Why don't you use a self-made tweeter?]

The one percent don't shop at WALMART...they OWN it. The people buying sh*t at WALMART can't afford to shop elsewhere. . . . I suppose if you want to target the one percent of shoppers, the place to do it is Tiffany's or Needless Markup....

[DUmmie MADem interjects a note of negativity, questioning the effectiveness of the flash mobbers.]

The message was conveyed to the shoppers to inform and educate; while the action hit the 1%'ers bottom line.

[The message conveyed to the shoppers, DUmmie/OWSie Juneboarder, was that you're a bunch of annoying jerks. And your "action" didn't even make 1% difference to that store's bottom line that day. You weren't going to buy anything there anyway, and you didn't keep anyone else from buying anything, either. All you did was call attention to Wal-Mart's low prices, which is what people want. So . . . FAIL!]

The action only f***ed over the wage slaves. Messing with the workers, creating a mess that they have to clean up, that they are responsible for, isn't helpful to them at all. The One Percent could give a f***. . . . F***ing with the stock to make a stupid point (one that the worker has to clean up) is just anti-worker.

[DUmmie MADem is on a roll. Please continue . . .]

I just can't get behind your logic--at all. Be grateful, we f***ed up the place FOR YOUUUUUU? . . . It didn't affect the bottom line--WALMART workers still had to do their regular work, AND clean up after you. . . . You know how much notice the One Percenters gave this episode? None.

[Alright, DUmmie MADem, I'm going to flip all the cards and go ahead and award you today's Kewpie Doll for your Brief--no, more than Brief--Moment of Mental Clarity®. Congrats!]

Whatever. I have things to do with the rest of my day than debate with someone that can do nothing but project negativity.

[Juneboarder thinks you're such a DUmmie Downer, MADem!]

There ALWAYS has to be at least one crepe-hanger in a DU thread.

[One crepe-hanger for every 99 crap-hangers.]

The bottom line... The bottom line is that this affects Walmarts bottom line.

[Sorry, DUmmie/OWSie Juneboarder, the only thing your butt-in-line did was to piss off the public and pile extra work on the employees. But you feel good about yourselves, like you accomplished something for The Cause, and that's the main thing, right?]

the majority of employees were smiling, giving thumbs up, and clapped when we were done. . . .

[Translation: They were laughing at you, they gave you the middle finger, and they said "Good riddance!" when you left.]

Why not demonstrate a little real brass, and do that sh*t at Tiffany's?

[Brainfart at Tiffany's.]

It's like trashing a Pizza Hut, handing a mop to an employee and saying "You don't need to thank me. The look of on your face is thanks enough. Laters!"

[Hee! Hee!]

Aww, would you like a tissue? A pearl necklace to clutch? An extra pillow for your fainting couch? Non-violent activism requires disruption in the face of recalcitrant elites. Without disruption, all the Occupy movement, and any other political movement is doing is making noise that is easily ignored and laughed at by the corrupt subhuman f***s that control our government and the corporations. So excuuuuuuuuse me when I advocate disrupting the shopping routine for shoppers, making a mess for workers, blocking streets, disrupting services, and being so ambitious as bringing entire economic sectors to a HALT! It's the only way to drive the b*st*rds to make concessions. You have to hit the f***ers where it hurts - in the wallet, by disrupting their revenue streams. If that creates inconveniences, too f***ing bad. I'm willing to break those eggs to make this omelette.

[I hate to break it to you, DUmmie backscatter712, but all you accomplish by doing this stuff is you end up with egg on your face. But, please, keep on doing it! We here at DUmmie FUnnies appreciate the material!]

The One Percent will laugh, laugh, laugh. Their bottom line won't be affected in the slightest. . . . No omelette for you. You won't even get powdered eggs...

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Lesson #324 in how incredibly tone deaf the left is.

[And that's just for November! Looking forward to #325!]

32 Comments:

Anonymous Corona said...

I saw that video yesterday elsewhere. When supposed "adults" chant in sub-par Romper Room fashion, who the ef is going to take them seriously? Themselves, that's who.

1:06 PM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

Barge in, shout, chant, knock over displays, break stuff, scare old ladies, intimidate employees then congratulate each other on how much you've accomplished.

Arrogance and stupidity are a fatal combination.

In any event, the attempt to disrupt Black Friday was an epic fail.

4:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As if Christmas shopping isn't stressful enough. Now the already long lines are made slower by a bunch of self-important asshats spewing a bunch of left-wing drivel and then patting themselves on the back as they march out. These people really know how to win the hearts and minds of the public.

5:22 PM  
Anonymous Jake said...

So .... wait ... let me see if I got this right.

To protest the "elites," that evil 1% that keeps them down, this group of unemployed, suburban white college kids went to Wal-mart ... WAL-frickin'-MART ... on the ONE day of the year when it is guaranteed to be full of POOR people who are DESPERATE to take advantage of the best possible deals they can find, so that maybe they can give their kids a little Christmas ... and these DUmmies decide to go interrupt THAT ...? And they think doing THAT is going to win them sympathy?

With WHOM?

Tone deaf does not quite cover it. Seriously - how stupid can they be?

10:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Seriously - how stupid can they be?"
They voted for Obama, didn't they?

12:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My sympathies to the employees and shoppers of Wal-Mart, but I can't help wishing the Occupy idiots continue stunts like this.

What more perfect way to showcase their idiocy and how out of touch with mainstream America they are?

Occupy is not getting any points here. They are slitting their own throats, one millimeter at a time.

12:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Occupy Amazon.com!

6:13 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

"Seriously - how stupid can they be?" - Jake

We have Troglaman The Guttersnipe to show just how stupid they can be.

2:10 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Occupy San Diego Flash Mob Invades Wal-Mart" PJinc

FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES BEFORE THEY OCCUPY YOUR VERY SOUL!!! FLEE!!!

12:41 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

Fucking pussies.

12:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Trog took a hit off his crack pipe and said, "FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES BEFORE THEY OCCUPY YOUR VERY SOUL!!! FLEE!!!"

Yep, you guessed it. We're terrified. Absolutely, shit-down-both-legs terrified.

But not about what you think.

Personally, I'm terrified these moronic douchecanoes have already reproduced.

Other than that, the only other emotion is bemusement that people could be so utterly stupid.

8:46 AM  
Anonymous Clone of Troglaman said...

I are Troglaman. Me am brilliant.

Me love sarcasm and gutter language as smarts because me am brilliant. Because me am brilliant you am dumb ass.

I are Troglaman. Me am brilliant.

I are Troglaman. Me am briliiant.

3:21 PM  
Blogger Skul said...

Troggy boy.
What's the point of you even posting?
The monkeys want to know.

Stupid troggy.

12:03 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Trog took a hit off his crack pipe..." TroglANON

Yes, I did. Not only that - a pint of everclear, a lude, 3 grams of crushed viagra (snorted), two 8-balls, and 2cc's of The Dragon's Mother.

And I'm STILL smarter than you. It's a fucking miracle.

12:28 AM  
Blogger Skul said...

What's your point troggy boy.
Trying your best to be the stupidist troll on the web?
You win.
Now, go feed the monkeys, little man.

12:57 AM  
Anonymous The ULTIMATE Man said...

troglafuck said...

"Trog took a hit off his crack pipe..." TroglANON

Yes, I did. Not only that - a pint of everclear, a lude, 3 grams of crushed viagra (snorted), two 8-balls, and 2cc's of The Dragon's Mother.

And I'm STILL smarter than you. It's a fucking miracle.


No fucking chance, Troglafuck. A doorknob is smarter than you, you worthless racist twit. The miracle would be if you ever found a fucking clue.

FOAD, Troglafuck, you stupid fucking troll.

2:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chase that dragon, Trog. It'll save us some trouble.

10:48 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Chase that dragon, Trog. It'll save us some trouble." troglANON

Save YOU the trouble of what?

Know what? You'll be too big a pussy to explain. Mark my words.

The next time you fuckers are complaining about my potty-mouth, remember this.

I never go here. You do. I'm entitled to my potty-mouth. So...

You cocksuckers are a bunch of mother fucking psychopathic fantasy-murder asswipe retards.

I feel better now.

Listen...I've been here (this site) since the middle of the Iraq war or so. If I'd gotten a nickle for every dark and murky threat to my existence...I'd STILL be fucking with you...from my villa.

This is why I've taken the liberty of setting up themightytroglaman account at paypal. I figure every threat, no matter how oblique or direct, is worth a nickle. One fucking nickle (you cheap bastards). Put your money where your mouth is.

1:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keyboard Kommandos are hawwt!

9:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I feel better now."-troglaman

Whew! That's a relief. As long as you're happy.

10:39 PM  
Anonymous The ULTIMATE Man said...

I never go here. You do. I'm entitled to my potty-mouth. So...

You cocksuckers are a bunch of mother fucking psychopathic fantasy-murder asswipe retards.

I feel better now.

Listen...I've been here (this site) since the middle of the Iraq war or so. If I'd gotten a nickle for every dark and murky threat to my existence...I'd STILL be fucking with you...from my villa.

This is why I've taken the liberty of setting up themightytroglaman account at paypal. I figure every threat, no matter how oblique or direct, is worth a nickle. One fucking nickle (you cheap bastards). Put your money where your mouth is. - Troglafuck



FOAD, Troglafuck, you should be paying EVERYONE on this board a dollar a day for even acknowledging your existance for each day since the day you first posted here.

12:30 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Troglafuck, you should be paying EVERYONE on this board a dollar a day for even acknowledging your existance for each day since the day you first posted here." my secret fantasy

Why?

(this question will completely throw the ULITIMATE Man, simple though it is...you'll see).

So FOAD means Fuck Off And Die, right?

Of course not! It means Fully Operational Appreciation of Daisies.

And this is why I love him. Call me crazy.

1:26 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

You owe a nickle

1:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Call me crazy."-troglaman

Only if you expect people to pay you in nickels for anything associated with your words or actions.

4:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous 4:58, what kind of fool would do something like that?

7:37 PM  
Anonymous The ULTIMATE Man said...

"Why?

(this question will completely throw the ULITIMATE Man, simple though it is...you'll see)." - Troglafuck

For tolerating your shit,you stupid fucking fuckwad.

FOAD, Troglafuck, you racist fucking fuckwad.

8:25 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"For tolerating your shit,you stupid fucking fuckwad." The ULTIMATE Man

It's as if you have no shit to tolerate.

Are you aware of the little squirt that just came out of you're little coconut?

Of course not!

If you look hard, squint your eyes, you might see a fundamental problem here (you stupid donkeys)...or maybe not.

Never mind.

12:50 AM  
Anonymous The ULTIMATE Man said...

"If you look hard, squint your eyes, you might see a fundamental problem here (you stupid donkeys)...or maybe not." - Troglafuck

Yeah, we see the fucking problem you fuckwad - it's YOU you worthless fucking son of a whore.

FOAD Troglafuck, you worthless fucking fuckwad.

4:07 PM  
Anonymous NE_Guy said...

"troglaman said...
You owe a nickle
"

Why? Did he fuck your mother in her cornhole? I mean, that's what she charged me.

6:16 PM  
Anonymous NE_Guy said...

By the way trogloshite, learn how to spell 'nickel'.

Dumbass

6:17 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

Ha Ha Ha, NE_Guy. Since you're the new guy and could have never known, whenever I, the mighty troglaman, say "nickle", or "I want a nickle" or "Its worth a nickle", I'm talking about a 'nicker pecker'. Those who know me best understand that this has been somewhat of an obsession of mine recently (as witnessed by my sick, darkly sexual relationship with The ULTIMATE nicker pecker...God help me...I WANT him).

So in the spirit of clarity, let's define our terms-

Nickel - is a chemical element with the chemical symbol Ni and atomic number 28. Five cent coin.

Nickle - The European woodpecker, or yaffle; - called also nicker pecker.

See? We're very precise with our terminology around here, Mr. NE_Guy Smarty Pants.

12:56 AM  
Anonymous Tiffany said...

Fucking pussies.

8:09 AM  

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