Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Sixth Anniversary Edition: It's not easy being a DUmmie

Today the DUmmie FUnnies is celebrating its SIXTH ANNIVERSARY! WOO-HOO! Yes, it was on September 22, 2004, that PJ-Comix posted the first official DUFU as its own feature on Free Republic. Over the years--and over a thousand Pingees later--we have found hours of endless entertainment in the rantings and ravings of the DUmmies of Democratic Underground, the KOmmies of Daily Kos, and the HUffies of Huffington Post. The Looney Left has provided us with loads of laffs!

And so for our Sixth Anniversary Edition, I have chosen a piece of quintessential DUmmieness, here in this
THREAD by DUmmie nashville_brook, "It's not easy being a Democrat."

In keeping with that theme, let's begin the festivities with this musical salute to our friends on the far-out left. Click a music link and sing along!

Tune: "Bein' Green"
MIDI Original

It's not that easy bein' DUmb
Havin' to manage with a mind that's kinda numb
When I think it could be nicer
Bein' sane or lucid or smart
Or something much more sensible than DUmb

It's not that easy bein' DUmb
It seems you squirm and suffer, not like all those lousy freeper scum
And people tend to think you're looney
'Cause you're out standing in the nighttime barkin' like a moonbat
Or beating a drum

But DUmb's the lot in life of some
And DUmb can be frank's fellow alum
And DUmb can be big like a bouncer
Or important like a pundit
Or poor like a bum

When DUmb is where you're comin' from
It could make you rather glum
But I'll just go flap my gums
I'm DUmb and it'll DU fine
It's comical
And I think it's what I have become

So let us now explore the exciting world of DUmmiedom, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, barely getting this DUFU in before our anniversary turns into a pumpkin, is in the [brackets]:

It's not easy being a Democrat.

[It's not easy being a DUmmie.]

Democrats, unlike Republicans, have the burden and the honor of representing The People of the country.

[Democrats are People. Republicans are . . . unlike People.]

As such, we're a multi-faceted group with a spectrum of interests reflecting the amazing quilt of Americans. . . .

[The DUmmies are a regular CRAZY QUILT of odds and ends! Well, mostly odds. . . .]

We're women and men.

[Sometimes at the same time.]

Gay and straight.


Hispanic, Anglo, African-American, Asian-American. From European roots. Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Hindu, Buddhist, Jewish.

[Strike that "Christian" part. Anything but that!]

Some are more privileged. Some come from nothing. Some are homeless. Some are unemployed. Some of us belong to Unions. Some work in professional services. Some in medical fields. Some are artists. Some are mothers. Some are childless. Some are disabled. Some speak english as a second language. Some speak english as a fifth or sixth language.

[Some write English as a form of torture.]

Some of us live in densely populated cities.

[Some of us are just dense.]

Some of us live on farms.

[You ALL live on our DUmmie Ant Farm! Hee! Hee!]

Some on the coast.

[Some in the basement.]

We're the every-changing fabric of this country. . . .

[You're the Polyester of Political Posturing.]

we don't believe that the magic hand of the free market will solve any of our problems.

[Marxists, not markets!]

we're a party of The People, and that's messy.

[Especially when it's people like benburch.]

As Democrats, it's our job to lift up those people up. . . .

[Good luck lifting up Fat Che!]

When we go to the table, we have to bring everyone with us.

[Except the rethuglicans. And the teabaggers. And the fundies. And. . . . OK, thank you, DUmmie nashville_brook. Now let's hear from your fellow inmates . . .]

Well said. It makes it even harder when the people supposedly representing us make sport of throwing as many of us under the bus as is humanly possible.

[Democratic Underbus.]

It is tough, this being a Democrat. . . . But, if you are gonna play in the pool, you have to choose which end to swim in... the deep end, or the shallow end with the babies.

[The DUmmies have gone off the deep end.]

I hope every Democrat has a chance to read this. . . .

[I hope every Democrat can read.]

So well said I wish I could Rec this 100 times!

[A Democrat getting ready for Election Day, I see.]

we have to wrap our arms around each other. . . .

[Again, good luck doing that with ben!]

We are bankers, defense contractors, and health insurers??

[No! Boo! They are not People!]

We *are* the world. We *are* the village.

[The village idiots. But that's what we love about you guys! Thanx and a big MWUH! from all of us here at DUmmie FUnnies for making this a FUn six years!]


Blogger TANSTAAFL said...

"As Democrats, it's our job to lift up those people up. . . ."

Here's a thought: why don't you go fuck yourself, you fascist thug.

7:52 AM  
Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

There's a shred of truth to the "We lift people up," but only as a necessary preliminary step to their real goal of then shaking them down, for votes if not for money. Often both.

8:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's not so much that they want to lift up the down-trodden, rather they wish to punish the successful.

12:18 PM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

"Democrats, unlike Republcians, have the burden and the honor of representing The People of the county."

Thank you, Mr Lenin. Every totalitarian polity claims to represent "The People". But all inevitably lead to the Gulag or Auschwitz because there are always people who aren't "The People".

"...We're a party of The People and that's messy."

Especially when "The People" start have ideas, hopes and desires of their own. Then "The People" must be knocked into line.

When politicians talk about uplifitng "The People" it's time to protect your property, your wealth, your freedomd and your life.

12:57 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Well said, Elrond, you are spot on as usual.

1:24 PM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

Happy 6th, PJ!
And well done on picking a particularly douchey DUmmie entry.

7:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah yes, "The People". Of which Conservatives aren't.

What a pantload of Kumbaya-esqe crap. Folksy, feel-good-about-yourself nonsense.

7:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"As Democrats, it's our job to lift up those people . ."

LOL, well please do so by continuing to call people racist, bitter, stupid, angry mobsters, the professional left, lousy freeper trolls, old, blue hogs, rabid right wingers, The Christian Taliban, Wasilla hillbillies, etc,etc, because the best way to win over hearts and minds and get people to vote for you, is to try and mock and ridicule them. People love abuse, higher taxes, and tough times. That's why we will all be voting for Democrats on November 4th.

Sixth anniversary? Wow! That was like, 8 trillion dollars ago. Congratulations and thank you for reading DU so we don't have to.

8:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey! Where did trolly boy go?
Gotta have one self-serving comment by the little lad.

YooHoo, trolly..where are you?


9:51 PM  
Anonymous 98ZJUSMC said...

I guess it's cartoon re-run day over at DUFU*CKEDUP.

12:11 AM  
Anonymous kayinmaine said...


8:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kayinsane: "By their fruit you shall know them." Therefore, using your form of logic, all *SPIT* Democrats are controlled by Satan, Mao, Stalin, and the Ku Klux Klan.
You need to get back on your meds.

10:24 AM  
Anonymous Corona said...

Great job, PJ and Charles. Thanks for doing the tough part (actually reading their dribble) and reporting back in a sing-song way.

Hey Kay, tell us how you REALLY feel. Heh.

10:51 AM  
Anonymous tonto's expanding headband said...

It will be interesting to see the reaction of the DUmmies when "The People" toss Democrats out of office this November. Prediction: if it happens, "The People" will, overnight, become The Sheeple, Red State Rednecks, Fundies, Repukes, ignorant, stupid racists and homophobes unworthy of being uplifted by Democrats.

12:25 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

"Hey! Where did trolly boy go?
Gotta have one self-serving comment by the little lad.

YooHoo, trolly..where are you?


Some days Troglaman has to chug several bottles of Everclear and power-slam his head up his repeatedly for an extended period of time just to ignore reality at a sufficient level so he can again begin spewing out worthless mental excrement all over the place as he richochets off the walls while power-slamming his head up his ass like a jackhammer.

I do know like a bad penny, Troglaman the Guttersnipe will be back spewing worthless mental excrement as soon as the Everclear kicks in and he's power-slammed his head up his ass often enough.

2:12 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

Every totalitarian polity claims to represent "The People"..."The People" must be knocked into line...When politicians talk about uplifitng "The People" it's time to protect your property, your wealth, your freedomd and your life." elrond

Sooooo scary. Holy cow. Better buy some more guns and ammunition RIGHT NOW!!! And have you taken measure of your bunker-readiness recently...hmmmm? Probably not.

You're such a pussy, elrond.

I, troglaman, am tired of coming up with deriding epitaphs and insults to describe you dumbshit pussies. From now on you'll all be known as The Shrunken Head Equestrian and Equivalant Pussy Society (SHEEPS)...or the Shrunken Head Herd of Underwater Shit Heads (SHHUSH)...or merely the Shrunken Head Homos (SHH). Why? Because the Jivaroans obviously got to you poor saps first. Sorry. Shit happens.

"...while power-slamming his head up his ass like a jackhammer." jj (jackhammer jerome)

Like a jackhammer? This is amazing because for a long time my inner homo has imagined this very scenario. But alas, it can't be done. The second best thing would be a willing participant to slam their head up my ass like a jackhammer, right?

Wanna have a drink sometime?

BTW, you keep leaving out the Quaalude and Mickey Mouse Blotter Acid. Just so you know.

1:03 AM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...


Charming and persuasive as usual.
It seems your inner homo has lost out to your inner weasel.

2:04 PM  

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