Saturday, December 31, 2011

"Here She Is, Our Miss DUmmieland": DUmmie of the Year crowned!

The finalists are all standing on the stage, holding hands, smiling--though nervous--their pearly whites shining through red-glossed lips. The suspense is building. At last it's time to crown the winner. It's come down to this. . . . "And the winner of DUmmie of the Year for 2011 is . . . Miss Fallout Shelter, NADIN BRZEZINSKI!"

The crowd cheers! The sash is draped over Nadin's siza--over Nadin. She's reachiing for the crown hat. She begins her victorious walk up the runway. Hit it, Bert Parks! And let's all sing along!

Tune: "There She Is, Miss America"

Here she is, our Miss DUmmieland
Here she is, our Nadin
The dream of a million posts that she typed out by hand
Now comes true here on Skins's Island
For she has turned out to be
The queen of gross stupidity!

Here she is, our Miss DUmmieland
Here she is, our Nadin
With so many DUzies she took the DUmp by storm
With her condescending need to inform
And here she is
Miss Blogosphere, she is
DUmmie of the Year, she is
Our Miss DUmmieland!

No, that's not Nadin. That's Nina Khruschchev. This is Nadin. Close.

Yes, ladies and germs, Nadin Brzezinski has been named DUmmie of the Year. You can ready about it here, Top DUmmie of 2011. No contest, really. Nadin in a landslide. And with good reason. This has been, without a doubt, the Year of Nadin. She has DOMINATED the DUmp this year with post after mind-numbing post, her condescension and Know-it-allness, her malaprops and nadinisms, and her general laffable looniness dripping from every pore.

And we at DUmmie FUnnies THANK her, big-time, for supplying us with so much comedy gold! Look at this impressive list, even going back to the end of last year:

DUmmie FUnnies 12-17-10 (Know-it-all Nadin makes late run for DUmmie of Year! PLUS breaking news!)
DUmmie FUnnies 02-02-11 (Palinoia strikes deep: DUmmies DUped by Palin-invade-Egypt spoof!)
DUmmie FUnnies 02-03-11 (Know-it-all Nadin off to strong start for DUmmie of the Year)
DUmmie FUnnies 02-05-11 (Lady NaDa gives a shout out: "DUmmy FUNNIES... Hey Freepers")
DUmmie FUnnies 03-18-11 (Know-it-all Nadin the Drama Queen is BACK!)
DUmmie FUnnies 03-29-11 (Know-it-all Nadin is BACK, saying "Told you so"!)
DUmmie FUnnies 06-28-11 (Know-it-all Nadin, "On alien life, and whether it is possible")
DUmmie FUnnies 07-19-11 (Know-it-all Nadin wants to know: "How long until we take to the streets?")
DUmmie FUnnies 08-25-11 (Know-it-all Nadin, the Master of Disaster, takes on quakes)
DUmmie FUnnies 08-26-11 (Hurricane Nadin hits DUmmieland!)
DUmmie FUnnies 12-02-11 (DUmmie of the Year nominee shows her stuff: Nadin knows . . . human waste)
DUmmie FUnnies 12-09-11 ("Props to nadinbrzezinski," Girl Reporter!)

(Links to most of those DUFUs here.)

So to close out 2011, we'll do one last Nadin thread.

Let us travel now to sunny San Diego, California, where the Fukushima death clouds have finally parted. Our intrepid girl reporter, Nosey Nadin Brzezinski Abbott, is taking a break from the Occupy. She has gotten up early, gotten all dolled up, and has headed over to the San Diego Auto Show, to sniff out what's going on there. Nadin is reporting for Motor Trendspotting Magazine, aka the online East County Magazine she volunteer-writes for. And then she's cross-posting her story to the DUmp, here in this THREAD, "VROOM! INTERNATIONAL AUTO SHOW HAS POWER, STYLE & SIZZLE."

Brave little poster that she is, Nadin is even taking a daring test drive, up and down and all around the auto show floor. And--get this--the vehicle she's riding in is called . . . the Rubicon! I kid you not. They're taking that baby on a tilt-a-whirl of a ride, at speeds up to 5 mph, and guess what, no tipping point!

What's more, Nosey Nadin has brought her video gear (batteries included) along with her and posted a POV YouTube--in which you can hear the Nadster speak! It's all here! Behold, reportage! Nadin in the Red, your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, in the [brackets]:



The technology has come a long way in a short decade. . . .

[This decade only went seven years.]

Realize the technology is moving forwards. From the first time I saw one of these suckers, an Insight in 2000 to now... who'd thunk we'd see Hyrbrid Electric full sized trucks?

[Hyrbrids-who'da thunk it? Who can even spell it?]

Of course as of now getting these engines into a tractor trailer might be truly a dream. I cannot wait to see some of the redesigns that actually make THOSE aerodynamic and less drag. (And yes, there is an issue with what do you do with the batteries after the fact)

[Nadin cannot get away from the batteries.]

TEST-DRIVING A JEEP. . . . Jeep Rubicon brought back the Jeep experience. This means a ride in a current year Jeep over an obstacle course built inside the Convention center.

(View my video, shot from the front seat)

[Nadin has cruised the Rubicon.]

Suffice it to say, even over the roughest parts of the ride, the vehicle handles quite smoothky. What impressed me the most is that the Jeep is capable of going over a thirty degree embankment at five miles per hour and will not tip over.

[Nadin reached the tipping point--and didn't tip.]

All these vehicles are still produced in Japan, but due to the Fukushima earthquake, Toyota is considering production in the US. There were some serious issues with the supply chain and backups after the quake hit.

[Not to mention the radiation emissions. They're all Fuku'ed up.]

Of note, Toyotas are also the official vehicles used by the San Diego Lifeguards.

[Noted, Nadin. Next time I want to drive a vehicle into the ocean, I will choose a Toyota.]

the Backup Collision Intervention System. It is essentially a Radar\Sonar unit that will detect people behind the driver as he backs the vehicle.

[Nadin knows Sonar. She learned all about it from Captain Nemo at the health food store.]

It will warn the driver, and it will also apply the breaks. . . .

[Those are the brakes.]

Oh and yes, the side mirrors do fold in, protecting them from damage while parked. It does have a rear camera standard, and for those of us who are short, the pedals adjust.

[Now we know that Naddy is short--short of stature, I mean.]

better mileage than it’s competitors. . . .
Unlike it’s gas cousin. . . .
Like it’s cousin the Silverado. . . .
The Nissan Leaf is now in it’s second year of production. Like all vehicles in it’s class. . . .
decent mileage for it’s class. . . .
impressive mileage for it’s class. . . .

[Its an apostrophe catastrophe.]

And good to know, I always wonder about the batteries.

[Them pesky batteries again. Oh and yes, Nadin, that reminds me. When you go out on your many reporting assignments, and you do not only your award-winning reporting but also the photography and now videography, just to be safe you might want to think about getting one of them hyrbrid cameras--you know, part electric, part gasoline.]

[Well, folks, add "Auto Show Reporter" to an already-impressive résumé. Is there ANYTHING this woman does not know? I say, No! And that is why Nadin Brzezinski now is--and deservedly so--DUMMIE OF THE YEAR! Congratulations, Nadin! Very nice.]

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Welcome to the DUmmieland holiday party!

Welcome to the DUmmieland holiday party! Head DUmmie Skinner is hosting the shindig at his place, along with his sidekicks EarlG and Elad. Now that DU3 has hit the big time, with lots of ad revenue and a subsidy from the Democrat Party, $kimmer can afford to have a FANCY party--notice the chocolate fountain on the buffet table, along with the ice sculpture of Alan Grayson. And so Skinner and the boys have broken out the fancy DUds for tonight, as opposed to what they usually wear:

Still, most of the guests here have come in their normal attire: tie-dyed shirts, birkies, the lezbos in their flannel, gray ponytails on the guys, bowl haircuts on the gals. DU rigueur.

How I got invited to this party, I'm not sure. I think it was my DU mole identity they actually sent the invitation to, but here I am anyway. I've brought Li'l Beaver along, in his DU mole outfit as . . . a mole. PJ couldn't come. He had a coupon for a free trip to Venezuela.

I did say I had some other friends coming, that's how I'm able to get you in with me. So make yourself at home! Try the vegan tofu dip, it's not half-bad. The marijuana smoke is a little thick, so you may want to sit by the window. I see an empty beanbag over there in the corner. Take a load off.

You're coming in right as they're going around the room introducing themselves. The intros are also being live-blogged as this THREAD, "DU3 Reintroduce yourself thread."

Now if you're quiet, and you pretend you're stoned out of your gourd, maybe they won't call on you. But please, listen up! You'll get a kick out of these moonbats. Even their introductions are in Bolshevik Red. Oh, and please don't give away my real identity, Charles Henrickson. I want the other guests to think I'm one of them. Of course, my mutterings under the breath will be in the [brackets]:

My name is LynneSin. . . . The quote my friend would use about me is "Her name is Lynne and it rhymes with Sin".

[And that stands for Fool.]

I love rock music. After seeing Shaun Cassidy in concert, my older brother made me listen to rock music - his collection of 8 tracks including Led Zeppelin, Queen, Pink Floyd, Yes, an Aerosmith and several Rush.

[You listen to Rush???]

I have a wry sense of humor and sometimes rely too much on sarcasm. I think that's how I sometimes annoy people.

[No, actually, LynneSin, it's your overbearing moonbattism, like when you confront people in the grocery line and tell them they shouldn't be eating meat.]

I am single.

[I am not surprised.]

I love cats. . . .

[In other words, you're a walking stereotype.]

I have a boy name Abbott . . .

[Nadin Brzezinski Abbott?]

who 9 years ago I found outside a dumpster.

[A DUmpster. How appropriate.]

Abbott is a cuddly boy cat who loves to lick his empty ballsacks.


I once lost a bet to WillPitt and was to come to a DU gathering wearing a Bunny Suit and bringing a bottle of Tequila. I did send the Tequila to Will but haven't really had a chance to do the bunny suit thing.

[As long as Will got his liquor, that's all he cares about.]

I make it my mission in life to never pay tolls.

[How about trolls, as in lousy freeper ones?]

[OK, that's enough out of you LynneSin. Let's go to our next guest. Yes, you, over by the bong pipe . . .]

My name is Scuba, and apparently I'm the last living liberal Democrat.

[Wrongo. There are 7,000 more who have not bowed the knee to bailouts. And they're all in this room. Next . . .]

I posted my naked ass on DU because of a bet. . . .

[Hi, ben!]

My name is Taverner. I do not own a tavern, nor would I want to. However, I do like Phillip K Dick. . . .

[I bet you do. Say hello to benburch. . . .]

am either a Socialist Democrat with Anarchist Sympathies, or some other adjective filled description.

[Oh, I think "Socialist Democrat with Anarchist Sympathies" fills the bill. You're among friends here.]

I am an atheist and a liberal. . . .

[That goes without saying. I mean, look, Skinner had it printed on the nametags.]

Hi! I'm Kaiden. . . . I have a background in theatre so that's probably why I never amounted to much.

[But in DUmmieland, you can always be a Drama Queen!]

My name is Bill. . . . I love to go on and on about labor history or foreign policy. It never got me a lot of dates.

[You should have hooked up with nadinbrzezinski.]

I'm so left-wing that when I enter a crowded room and look to the left, there's no one there.

[I'd say you're right.]

I'm using my "executive producer" pseudonym...GReedDiamond. . . . In extending that pseudonym into the politically mythological (or, "the polithalogical", I have blended GReedDiamond into a (nonexistent) Corporation with access to more (GOD GIVEN + Tax Loopholes Giveaways & Subsidies, and $$$$ >>>> questionably "elected" political hacks = free speech = 1st Amendment Rights) rights than the average living, breathing small-cap "c"itizen, whom I consider, at best, to be profitable commodities, at worst, tax write-offs. You don't wanna hear what "I" ("GReedDiamond" think about everything in-between.

[I don't even understand what you're saying!]

GReedDiamond's (not necessarily me, but, The Corporation's) Logo is a pair of disembodied outward reaching hands which are about to grab a palm-sized floating planet earth, whereupon the two hands squeeze the whole planet into a Gigantic Diamond.

[Yikes! Next, please!]

I'm MiddleFingerMom. I used to have a really nice ass & a really nasty rash, tho not simultaneously.

[One step at a time.]

Hajimemashite! Kimiko Desu! Dozo Yoroshiku!

[Klaatu barada nikto.]

I am a Dean Democrat.


Hi. I’m Ellie. . . . I have a didgeridoo. . . .

[Are you like a transsexual or something?]

I’ve never gotten the hang of how to make those cool boing-oing-oing sounds with it.

[Believe me, I have trouble myself.]

Pardon my blue underpants in the doorway.

[OK, but Skinner will probably want you to put them back on again before you go.]

I'm Fred. I'm a teacher. . . . I'm an atheist who believes in God. . . .

[Fred, you just failed Atheism 101.]

Well, let's see what exciting facts I can think of about me. . . .

[zzzzzzz. . . .]

My real name is Tom. . . . I was married once to a woman from Taiwan for several years.

[But she had a Taipei personality, so we got divorced.]

I live with my girlfriend of 8 years. . . .

[A little young, don't you think?]

DU has always felt like a home to me.

[It IS like a home, this is true.]

I am hifiguy. . . . I am an atheist . . . and a Social Democrat with Structural Marxist leanings.

[Come on in, the water's fine!]

Hello I'm Sibelian, and I live in Scotland, work for the NHS, am gay, have a boyfriend and 2 cats. . . .

[Cats, gay, socialist, non-American. . . . Perfect!]

Pretzel (nee Rich) spent his first 21 years growing up on the banks of the Ohio River. . . .

[That explains the mildew smell.]

I am PVnRT and I am a sentient gas cloud located 20,000 light years away. . . .

[Please make it 21.]

NRaleighLiberal here. . . . I tend to lead with the heart more than the brain.

[In fact, I don't even HAVE a brain!]

I am 1gobluedem. . . . I live in Ann Arbor, MI, and am the general manager of an NPR affiliate public radio station. . . .

[A liberal Democrat, managing an NPR station! Imagine that!]

hate the song 'Horse With No Name' so much that it makes me physically ill. . . .

[Well, we agree on one thing!]

My name is Xithras. . . . One thing that's got me into a bit of trouble at DU over the years is my sexuality. Though I'm married, I am very much a bisexual man, and have had periods in my life. . . .

[Man, that's REALLY bisexual!]

I'm Nancy . . . and my threads & posts tend to sink like a rock.


My name is Pinstikfartherin. . . . My real name is Krista. . . . I am in a long term relationship of nearly 5 years with a man who is both Christian and republican. . . .

[Say, you and Sarah Ibuprofen ought to start a club!]

I'm mike_c, from Humboldt County, California. . . . I'm also a cannabis activist in my community. . . . Yummm, Headband! My latest favorite weed!

[Mike is all weed-weed up.]

I'm Aristus. . . . I'm a bleeding-heart, far-left, Obama-supporting liberal, and my political refrain, for anyone who is unsure of my ideological leanings, is: 'Liberal till I DIE, motherf***ers!'

[It's that positive approach that endears you to so many.]

I'm rbnyc. . . . I often have lucid dreams.

[It's the daytime I'm having trouble with.]

I'm 56 and live in Boise. . . . I have a long distance relationship with my imaginary boyfriend. . . .

[Who took the boys out of Boise?]

I'm a momma, an unbending liberal, pacifist, and a funeral director/embalmer.

[A member of the Underground Activist Corpse, no doubt.]

I've been a struggling vegetarian/sometimes vegan for a few years. . . .

[You're debating whether it's moral to eat vegetables? Stay away from the vegan tofu dip, then.]

My greatest passion in life is the underground: I fell in love with caves and caving. . . .

[So let me guess: You're on Democratic Underground, but you're really a troll from the Conservative Cave.]



i'm elana. . . . i'm 37, single. . . . in most cases i prefer the company of animals to humans.

[Elena, let me introduce you to my friend here, Li'l Beav--uh, Li'l Mole. I'm sure you two will have a lot to talk about.]

LiberalEsto: Surprise! I'm female. . . . I suppose my claim to fame is that I met all the members of the original Grateful Dead, including Pig Pen, and tripped with them backstage before they hit the big time. . . . Was active in the anti-war movement in the 1960s-70s, particularly in Yippie! if anyone remembers them. Lots of street theater. . . . have been unemployed for more than 3 years. Would love to get one of my books published, but no such luck so far. . . . I'm a pagan Unitarian Universalist. . . .

[You're making this stuff up, aren't you?]

Right-Of-The-Isle (5 posts) . . . Hello, I'm a Republican, but I like it here. ;) Hello, I am a Conservative, but love to see others' viewpoints on subjects. . . . a friend of mine (he said he was joining today, as well) said we should join this site, so we could do debating with Democrats, instead of other Conservatives. . . . I look forward to having some good discussions with evrybody!

[Good luck with that! Do you see that bouncer over there by the door? His name is Pitt, and he's about to escort you out.]

My name is Taylor. . . . I consider myself a Buddhist Atheist. . . . I call myself a Libertarian Socialist. . . . I am a Transhumanist and am a shameless techno-utopian.

[So is there anything DIFFERENT about you?]

My name is OmahaBlueDog. I live in Omaha. I am a canine. I am blue.

[Have you met Elena? You see that girl talking to that large beav--uh, mole over there?]

Hi. I'm boppers. . . . I am gender-funky, and married to a lovely husbandwife.

[OK, I don't know how much more of this party I can take. . . . Li'l Beaver, put down the crab rangoon, tell Elena good night, and let's get the heck out of here!]

Thursday, December 22, 2011

The Troll Patrol: DUmmies join the MIR Team

LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! How many times have we heard that over the past 7+ years that we have been monitoring DUmmieland? Many! We have planted plenty of moles in the DUmp to egg the DUmmies on and to expose their nuttiness.

Well, the New DUmmieland ain't puttin' up with it anymore! With characteristic panache and aplomb, Assistant Head DUmmie EarlG, aka DUAC Earl, has rolled out a brand-new Troll Patrol to catch and dispatch the nasty intruders. He's calling it the "MIR Team," the "Malicious Intruder Removal Team." I call it the "MIR Spaced-out Station," in other words, a bunch of Bolsheviks orbiting the DUmp, ready to blast away at any suspicious characters.

Watch out, Pitt! You might be next!

We will check out DUAC Earl's recruitment flyer for the Troll Patrol, i.e., this THREAD, "Be a hero! Join the Malicious Intruder Removal Team today!" as well as this THREAD by DUmmie MineralMan, "Troll-Busting and How to Make it Work and Get the Troll MIRTed."

Of course, the FUnnie thing about all this is that probably half of the sign-ups for the MIR Team are Lousy Freeper Trolls themselves! We're everywhere! We're everywhere!

So let us board the MIR Spaced-out Station and head out on the Troll Patrol, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, whose secret mole identity may or may not be a member of the MIR Team--not sayin'--is in the [brackets]:

Be a hero! Join the Malicious Intruder Removal Team today!

[SSgt. EarlG here, calling for recruits!]

Volunteers who wish to help keep DU running smoothly. . . .

[. . . are dreaming the impossible dream.]

. . . should consider joining the Malicious Intruder Removal Team (MIR Team).

["MIR"--hey, that's catchy! Named after a Soviet space station! Cool!]

The role of MIR Team members is simple: they are empowered to revoke the posting privileges of people who show up at DU with the intent to disrupt.

[Oh, goodie! We get to tombstone people! Think of the power!]

To repeat: the MIR Team is solely empowered to revoke the posting privileges of people who show up at DU with the intent to disrupt.

[To repeat: Oh, goodie! We get to tombstone people!]

just post in this thread to let us know that you'd like to give it a try, and you could be selected by the Admins.

[Do we get to wear uniforms? I'd really like to wear a uniform. Something with braids and epaulets would be nice. Can we get a little medal or ribbon for every troll we tombstone?]

[Look! Here come the volunteers! Now don't all push in at once! Form a single line . . .]

Me!!! Me!!! (Raises hand!) Please.

[Settle down! Settle down! Everyone will get a chance!]

I want to crush our enemies, see them driven before us, and hear the lamentations of the Freepers!

[I wanna kill . . . kill . . . KILL!!]

I'm on board for MIR Duty

[Cosmonaut Renew Deal, reporting for DUty!]

I am interested. But I'm here at odd times. . . .

[EVERY time in DUmmieland is an odd time.]

Jury duty was fun. . . .

[Boy, New DUmmieland now has stormtroopers everywhere! "Juries," "hosts," "MIR Team". . . . Everybody gets to wear a uniform!]

Yes - I'd love to be on the troll patrol. . . .

[THANK YOU, DUmmie TBF, for coming up with that witty and apt description. A tip o' the hat to you! . . . Say, you're not a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL, perchance?]

MIR is Russian for "world" and "peace". Sounds good to me.

[Anything Soviet is good.]

I am onboard, EarlG

[How should we set our phasers, Captain?]

reporting for duty sir.

[Let's go kick some Malicious Intruder @ss.]

I would like to be a member of this secret alliance. . . .

[The eagle flies at dawn.]


[MI! Buh bye, troll. You seem a little over-eager.]

I hate trolls. so does that make me a good candidate?

[Good approach, DUmmie OKNancy. Low-key, subdued. No one will ever suspect that you yourself are a DU mole.]

I would like to serve a term on the MIR team.

[Off you go! Good luck, comrade!]

I am soooooo farking ready to serve in this capacity.....My last donation was from someone else, but I believe all previous donations were mine alone....

[Nope! Sorry! Not good enough! A little too eager, plus, you didn't pay. Next!]


[Out! I don't like the look of your name--"Robb." And your avatar--a bunny? I mean, really?]

I'm game. . . .

[You're gamey. But then, so is everybody else in here. Welcome aboard!]

I find a certain joy in seeing some MIs removed *slowly*.

[And you're the people who objected to waterboarding at Gitmo??]

Speaking of intruders, will our Ignore lists be imported? Mine is very large. . . .


anything to keep the civility of this new board. . . .


You can try me in your rotation. Blessings.

[Oops! Religious language! You just gave yourself away, troll! . . . Fire away, boys!]

I'm good at Whack a troll. . . .

[You're just plain wacky.]

Count me in, EarlG

[That from cbayer, the "Locking" King (Queen?) of DU2.]

If you still need some help, I'd be glad to give it a try.

[Oh, nicely done, DUmmie Terra Alta! Understated. Not too eager. Good work.]

[And now for some troll-busting tips from DUmmie MineralMan, who of course is himself a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! You can even still send MineralMan messages care of his FR screen name! MineralMan is one of our BEST DU moles, and Skinner and EarlG are too DUmb to spot him!]

Troll-Busting and How to Make it Work and Get the Troll MIRTed.

[Brilliant, MineralMan, brilliant! You have infiltrated the MIR Team! Excellent!]

With DU3 being new and all, there are quite a few trolls who are experimenting with the site.

[Not like you, MineralMan! You're an old hand at being a mole!]

Here's how I got it [a thread] hidden, locked, and the poster MIRTed (I just made that up right now).

1. I read the thread and recognized the original post as trollery.
2. I read down the thread and noticed that others had the same suspicion.
3. I alerted on the OP, choosing the Community Standards option.
4. I selected the TOS Violation option.
5. I wrote a comment that said, "This poster appears to be a low post count troll. The post is disruptive. If you vote to Hide the post, it will be sent to the MIR Team." or words to that effect.
6. Shortly, the post was hidden, the thread was locked, and the OP was MIRTed.

[Good advice from a HIGH post count troll, our own MineralMan!]

I just thought I'd share this. It worked great.

[Yes, it works great at deflecting attention away from YOU, MM! Nicely done.]

in order to get to the MIRTeam a post has to be hidden by a jury first. If it's not hidden it goes to admin. . . .

It must pass through jury first If jury votes to hide it goes to MIR team. If they vote to keep, admins get it. BUT... ToS violation must be checked.

[Come on, people! It's all there in your MIRT Handbook: Page 57, Subsection F-13, Paragraph 3. Let's do our homework, people.]

I don't think a lot of DUers understand the process. There have been a number of OPs by trolls that have remained after the troll was MIRTed, and there's no way to deal with those, since Hosts can't lock threads except when they violate the forum's SOP. This way, the OP gets hidden, if the jury agrees, and the whole shebang goes to the MIRT for their action.

[It's as clear as mud!]

Frankly, I wouldn't ever use this particular strategy on any long-time DUer. That would be insulting. It's only really appropriate for low post count disruptors. . . . I know that long-time DUers are treated differently than low post count trolls, and that's how it should be.

[Good move, MineralMan, you long-time, high-post-count mole you!]

Being a troll is a direct violation of the TOS.

[And yet, so many of us get away with it! Hee! Hee!]

It's also very important to note that many that go to MIR Team can and are referred to admins also. . . . So, just because it goes to MIR doesn't mean MIR will make the decision.

[That's a MIR technicality.]

Wait, is pointing out the President's shortcomings a bannable offense now?

["Shortcomings"?? Are you suggesting that our President has "shortcomings"?? . . . Did you hear that, MIR Team? Ready . . . aim . . . FIRE!!]

Not even calling Barack Obana a con artist is a violation of TOS. . . .


If a 'troll' is posting things that are ok, are they a troll?

[If a troll falls in a forum, and there's no one around to MIR it. . . .]

The MIRT only looks at one specific kind of TOS violation: people who are posting crap repeatedly.

[Well now, that would eliminate just about everyone in DUmmieland, wouldn't it?]

The paradigm shift is bringing out the authoriatrians. I fear if we continue down this path we will have. . . .


Thursday, December 15, 2011

Will "the Shill" Pitt cheerleads for New DU

New Kook or Kook Klassic? That is the debate going on this week amongst the denizens of the DUmp. "New Kook" is DU3, $kimmer's new moneymaker. "Kook Klassic" is DU2, the DUmmieland so many have come to know and love. Head DUmmie Skinner pulled the switchover this past weekend, but some of the children have refused to make the move and are staying behind in the old, mostly vacated house. Some have even fled the premises altogether and headed for Greener pastures (e.g., Left Underground).

This refusal to move is troubling. Sure, $kimmer has sold his soul for a pot of dollars, and sure, there is even less tolerance for Obama-bashing now at the New DU. It is becoming clear that DUmmieland is a wholly owned subsidiary of the Democrat Party. But I don't think the DUmmie Brain Trust (sic) ever expected so many DUmmies to not make the move.

The DUmmieland Brain Trust (left to left): EarlG, Elad, and Skinner

Sensing this disturbance in the Force, a dismayed William Rivers Pitt, the Pied Piper of DUmmieland, has turned his considerable talents toward encouraging the wayward rats to follow him over to the new DUmp, as we see in this THREAD, "Every thread in old GD seems to be about not coming to DU3."

Will the Shill has several reasons to want New DU to succeed. As noted, DU3 is a wholly owned subsidiary of the Democrat Party, and Pitt is nothing if not a loyal party hack. Perhaps Wee Willie is also clinging to the increasingly faint hope that some Democrat campaign will see his stuff and hire him on to do something. Good luck with that, Fitzmas Boy! And, of course, William Rivers Pitt wants--needs--as many psychophants as possible to read and applaud his mind-numbing essays.

So let us now step into the Brave New World of New DU, where Wee Willie is waving the pom-poms, in When-will-I-be Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, regretting to inform William that he almost certainly will NOT be named DUmmie of the Year (and balloting is now closed), is in the [brackets]:

Every thread in old GD seems to be about not coming to DU3.

[Pitt wrote this on Tuesday. There are still DUmmies sticking around at Old DU today on Thursday.]

With some real bridge-burners included.

[Pitt doesn't burn bridges. He stands next to bridges and gets pooped on.]

Is it strange to anyone else how wound up some people have gotten over this changeover?

[What is strange to me, William, is how you can write in praise of the Occupy protests and yet not be bothered to go to one. Watching Bruins games in your Barcalounger is more important, huh?]

Don't get me wrong, I love DU...but this *is* DU, with some excellent improvements, and some stuff that needs work...but still DU.

[Wee Willie shakes his pom-poms and leaps into the air! "Yay, TEAM!"]

Just very strange to me.

[I need ALL of my little Pittophiles to come over here and read my stuff! And so, if I shill away for DU3, Skinner will let me get away with more crap, i.e., Willie being Willie. Plus, we've all got to rally round and support the Democratics!]

[Now for some replies . . .]

People are strange.

[DUmmies are stranger.]

I think most of the DU2 folks will gradually trickle over here.

[I agree, DUmmie stevenumbers. Even if they have to take public transportation.]

The rest will go to other similar sites. . . .

[Like . . . Left Underground, aka the LUnie Bin . . .]

REFUGEES FROM DU WE ARE (Star of Blunder )
Tune: "We Three Kings of Orient Are"

Refugees from DU we are
Baring rifts and bearing a scar
Wallets thinner, bled by Skinner
Why did we buy a star?

O star of blunder, star of blight
Star that's loyal to the Right
Once believing, now we're leaving
Guide us to a lefter site

DU3 was our final straw
When the screen and new rules we saw
To display more, you must pay more
Skinner did Shock and Law

O star of blunder, star of blight
Star that's loyal to the Right
Once believing, now we're leaving
Guide us to a lefter site

DU star, you now are a sin
Buying you, what fools we have been!
Learned our lesson, we're progressin'
We're in the LUnie Bin!

O star of blunder, star of blight
Star that's loyal to the Right
Once believing, now we're leaving
Guide us to a lefter site

Some just don't like change. Others think they're going to get banned over here, for some reason I don't understand.

[For the reason, DUmmie MineralMan, that we're less than a year from the elections, and New DU is a wholly owned subsidiary of the Democrat Party.]

Most don't understand how the host and jury system works, so they don't like it on principal. . . .

[On the principle that Principal Skinner is running it.]

Some concerned re revenue and accuse the admins of being only concerned with ads & revenues, some suggest that all the white-space is set up for ads. . . .

[YOUR AD HERE . . . here where you used to be able to read comments, which are now squished over to the right.]

All of the over wrought reactions and complaining kind of caught me off guard. I expected some grumbling, but not to the degree it's happening.

[NOBODY expects the Snappish Opposition!]

It wouldn't surprise me if a lot of them have convinced themselves this is a purge of those who are too liberal. . . .

[A Prog Pogrom.]

I can think of several very liberal and valuable posters who've been TSed.. While some others whose entire aim is admittedly aggravating others are still on board.

[*cough* SidDithers *cough*]

It'll work out. Or it won't.

[You're probably right.]

Heh, well, maybe weeding out the refusnicks is not such a bad thing.

[DUmmie mistertrickster gets in touch with his Inner Facist.]

Strange? Hell, William, this is DU! I fully expected things to devolve into a war between the two DUs. . . .

[The War of the Weirds.]

There's at least one DUer over there who's trying to get over here, without success.

I think Will just wants the new DU to be populated by DU'ers.

[I think Will just wants people he can Pied Pipe.]

What happens to our bookmarks?

[What happens to our Marx book?]

I thought Skinner said they were leaving up ad ad infinitum.

[No, Skinner said there would be ads ad infinitum.]

Whatever floats their boat.

[The DUmmies got shiftboated.]

OMFG. There is talk of starting a fund drive. . . .

[Here's the post from DU2 . . .]

Mic Check: DU2 has been OCCUPIED

Whose Site? OUR SITE!!

Come on people, gather 'round... let's work to create an underground on DU. The software is here, the hosts/admin might be persuaded to support both sites. Both sites can generate revenue, and we can all be happy! Let's give it a try. If it comes down to money, I'm willing to donate $20 if they keep The New DU2. Who's with me?

[C'mon, kids, let's put on a SHOW!]

what happened when du1 went to du2. . . ?

They'd been adding more and more hamster wheels to DU1, but they still couldn't keep up. . . . That's when Skinner & crew replaced the hamster wheels . . . and called it DU2. Quite a few of the hamsters ended up in General Discussion, which actually explains quite a bit of that place's troubles, especially during primary season...

[And now there's DU3, and we're coming up on the New Hamster primary.]

Some real old DUers are coming on DU2 and saying good bye. . . . It's got a kind of smokey, end-of-the-party feel, where that last group of good friends are slightly stoned and very mellow at 2 am, sloped against each other on the squashy chairs and sofas.....

[Slightly stoned, 2 am. . . . How can you tell the difference?]

To be fair, there's been quite a bit of "hurt" although it isn't super hurt-y for me. Because I have opted to leave DU2 gracefully, and not kicking and screaming, doesn't make me wholly thrilled with the current Dem Party and Administration (I am far less than thrilled), and marching in lockstep.

[Get out of line, buddy, and you'll FIND OUT what super hurt-y is!]

I have gone over just to look at the names. OMG, I can't believe how much it hurts to see some of them say farewell. I really wish that they would all hop into the new pool with us.

[Check the chlorine levels first.]

I think there are some posters that have paranoia issues about DU3. Thinking it is going to suppress dissent by critics of Obama.

[I think maybe it was the names of some of the new forums: "Attack Watch: Report Your Neighbor" . . . "Tiger Beat: Barry's So Dreamy!" . . . that sort of thing.]

They are coming over in 24 business hours. . . .

[Hee! Hee! Way to get a dig in there on the Pittster!]

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

DUmmies flee DU3, head for the LUnie Bin!

In yesterday's DUFU, we showed you how--suddenly, over the weekend--Head DUmmie Skinner unveiled the new and improved DU3, with its increased ad space (and thus harder-to-read format, unless you pay extra for the "classic" look) and its "hosts" and "juries" and heavyhanded rules. This move did not sit too well, to say the least, with a number of the longtime DUmmies. But what will they do? Will they just sit outside and grumble and complain? Will they, after a suitable pout, reluctantly come inside and be good little DUmmies? Or will they finally have had enough and go elsewhere? Remember, even before DU3, many of the DUmmies were mad because they thought DUmmieland wasn't far-left enough.

Well, the answer for some of the disgruntled DUmmies is to go elsewhere. And where are they going? To the LUnie Bin! The "LUnie Bin" is what I am calling "Left Underground," a prog blog that fancies itself farther far-left than DU (hard to imagine, but that's what they think). And its membership largely consists of people who have "Left Underground," i.e., they left Democratic Underground.

The LUnie Bin is of more recent vintage than DUmmieland, having been established earlier this year. But just in the last few days, coinciding with Skinner's switchover to DU3, LU has experienced a sudden growth spurt. There has been an influx of DUmbflux.

After starting at LU's HOME PAGE, we will read the accounts of refugees who have rowed away from Skins's Island and landed in the LUnie Bin, mostly from this FORUM, "Member Introductions," and this THREAD, "Gee, I wonder what prompted the sudden growth at leftunderground?" and this THREAD, "Who here came from Democratic Underground and why?"

So say hello to the LUnies! We've had the DUmmies, the KOmmies, the HUffies, and the OWSies. Now we can add the LUnies to the list. Whether they will have any staying power or not, who knows? But for now, we'll take a look. The remarx of the LUnies are in Super-Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--predicting that, while the LUnie Bin may claim some, most of the disgruntled DUmmies will sooner or later make the move to $kimmer's Island of Misfit Noise--is in the [brackets]:


[Welcome to the LUnie Bin!]

Who Are We? A community for progressives and liberals to discuss "stuff".

[Who Are We? The LUnar-American Community.]

The goal is to promote free and open discussion. The goal is not to impose countless rules and regulations. . . . You do not need to support a specific candidate or political party to be welcome here.

[These are slams, of course, against Herr Skinner and DUesland DUesland Über Alles.]

Skinner and his lot of Obama apologists can kiss my liberal @ss.

[You wish, benburch. (No, it's not the real benburch. But we have a certain benburch joke quota to fulfill, and this seemed like a likely candidate.)]

Welcome to the refugee camp.

[Hey, look! It's our old friend IndianaGreen! I thought you had moved to Cuba or something.]

Don't you feel liberated like the first childhood day of summer vacation. . .no more rules under the watchful Miss DU Goody-two-shoes?

[Principal Skinner is now Miss DU Goody-two-shoes. Nice.]

DU makes me crazy. The DLC makes me crazy. To be frank, the Democratic Party makes me crazy.

[You're LUnie!]

I think those in the Democratic Party/Democratic Underground are just trying to save their jobs - psychophants all.

["Psychophants"! You win the Unintentionally FUnnie Typo of the Day Award!]

I think [Obama] does care about being re-elected. . . . House staff galore, chefs, pastry chefs, physicians always at hand, bodyguards, gardeners, Air Force One, the Beast limousine, the Beast bus, getting the Jones Brothers to entertain his kids and Paul McCartney to sing"Michele" to his wife, and even 100 professional decorators flown in from all over the country to decorate his and Biden's house for the holidays, the adoration of the show business world and millions of Democrats, and on and on. If there's an afterlife, Tutankhamen and Cleopatra are eating their Ptolemaic hearts out with envy, while Louis Quatorze and Marie Antoinette are wailing, "Versailles, c'est merde. Gateau, c'est merde. I want to be POTUS, merci beaucoup."

[Let them eat peas!]

I used to live over at DU. . . . I went to sleep in Bedford Falls and woke up in Potterville.

[It's an Underground Life.]

Welcome to the village on the Left Bank.

[Left Bank it!]

It's great to be here where we don't have to worry about what we say about the Pres.

[Here you can get in touch with your Inner Racist and blast away at Obama! (Isn't the reason anybody ever criticzes Obama is because they're racist? Or does that only work if you're conservative?)]

I have ALWAYS been suspicious of DU why, Follow the Money. . . . I would not be surprised that the DLC is funding and or now invested in DU3.

[Follow the Money. That's what $kimmer does.]

That jury system pisses me off.

[It pissed you right off the island.]

Good riddance to that sh*thole!

[Hail, the new sh*thole!]

$kammer is cute with only allowing classic view for those that have a star.

[Would you like to swing on a star? That'll be $42, please.]

I got my DU star, , now it feels like a tattoo I got on a dare. Yes, this is the actual star of shame.

[Star of blunder, star of blight, star that's loyal to the Right. . . .]

The new Du3 has led many to join up. Everything was so different before it all changed.....

[DU3: The DU When Everything Finally Changed.]

DU3 is dead to me. Period.

[DU3 is DOA.]

The owners turned The DU into a drama queen sh*thole. I believe that Skinner is taking money from the Democratic party, or the White house itself. That is why they changed their donation system. They don't need donations to keep afloat like they did previously. F*** you skinner you egotistical right wing sh*thead. You sold your members out to the DLC to line your pockets.

[I predict that ex-DUmmie/new-LUnie niceypoo will NOT be returning to Skins's Island.]

I support the dream,
DU supports the team.
The reason for the team is the dream,
so if you support the team,
when the team ignores the dream,
then you are no longer you.
You are not quite what you seem.

["You cannot write," so I scream.]

I'm new from DU today. . . . DU3 was the straw that broke the camel's back. I didn't consider DU2 to be broken and so DU3 is like New Coke. . . .

[DU3 is the straw that stirred the New Coke that passed through the eye of the needless.]

I'm here from Democratic Underground. My name there was Readmoreoften. . . . My name here is Marvel Dobbs, after the wife of the Trotskyist Teamster Union Leader, Farrell Dobbs.

[If you marry DUmmie FUnnies Leader PJ-Comix, that would make you Marvel Comix.]

I have read on other forums that December is usually a time for DU purges of liberals.

[He's makin' a list, checkin' it twice,
Gonna find out who's naughty or nice,
Skinner's claws are comin' to town . . .]

There were a couple of "last straws" for me. I was there since May of 2001, often making substantial donations (like a fool, as it turns out). The new-and-improved DU3 struck me as being a way to let Skinner's Pets run the asylum and the fee structures seemed to be a method of gouging the faithful (some animals are more equal than others).

[Our DUmmie Ant Farm has turned into Animal Farm.]

Going from "contribute what you can afford to avoid a few ads" to "contribute $42/year or you will be assaulted with blinking ads everywhere you look" -- and having this presented as a improvement ("hurrah, no more fund drives!"). Then DU3, whose only purpose is to make room for more ads from what I can tell.

[Make Room for Addy!]

I didn't leave DU...but the fit is pretty uncomfortable for me. I was invited here and figured I would give it a whirl! ...from a nameless Horse with a new name

[LUnie poli_wonk, are you . . . could you be . . . the DUmmie Horse with no Name??]

[And now, finally, on another LU thread, someone asks:]

What do you all think about the Occupy movement?

[And someone responds:]

I find myself being excited about it, and thinking that this is the only hope on the horizon. However, as usual, there isn't much attention to or knowlege about poverty, and I have come to the point where that is my line in the sand. I know it varies by location.... apparently, Fresno Occupy is more involved with homelessness, but many consider their involvement to be limited to camping and handing out food to poor and homeless people. There is much more to poverty than that... as I keep saying, Charity won't ever solve poverty....NEVER. The Occupy in my area has even been hostile to homeless people, so there is no way I would consider involvement. Occupy can either be an integrative movement of middleclass AND poor people, or it can serve to further isolate poor people. The choice is up top the middleclass Occupiers.... and that isn't just financial... it is a mindset. The future remains to be seen.

[The turning-every-thread-into-a-guilt-trip . . . the "How come you liberals aren't doing more about poverty?" . . . the "I want more than just your charity, I want you to fully subsidize my lifestyle" . . . Yes, it could only be one person. Ladies and gentlemen, now posting from the back of her Buick in Denver, it's . . . Bobbolink! Yes, Bobo the Hobo, right here on our stage! Let's give her a big handout! . . . Why, it's like Old Homeless Week here at the LUnie Bin!]

Monday, December 12, 2011

Skinner unveils the new DUmmieland! DUmmies grouse.

It's a new day in DUmmieland! Indeed, it's a whole new DUmmieland! Head DUmmie Skinner unveiled the new and improved DU3 over the weekend. A new look, new forums, new format--and, it looks like, more room for new advertising. $kimmer knows where his bread is buttered. But it's DU3, for gosh sakes, it's new and improved, and you people better just sit back and enjoy it!

So summarily over the weekend Landlord Skinner told the inmates they had to vacate DU2 and move over to DU3. Reactions of glee and joy, right, like the Israelites crossing the Jordan and entering the Promised Land? Wrong. If there's one thing DUmmies love to do, it's grouse. They'd rather stay wandering in the wilderness of the old DU--at least it feels like home. And they don't like the looks of the new place, with its heavyhanded new rules and regulations--"juries" and "hosts" who can lock and block threads. There's a whiff of facism in the air. And what's more, the DUmmies recognize $kimmer's DU3 for what it is: A land flowing with bilk and money.

Nevertheless, it's out with the old and in with the new! But before we make the trek across the Jordan, we'll take a final look around at the old DU2 and sample some of the grousing. We'll start with this THREAD, "DU3 has moved. It's new location is here:" in which Skinner tells the DUmmies to move. And then we'll stop in at a few other threads, in which the DUmmies grouse about it.

So let us now pause on the plains of Moab, as the DUmmies look across into $kimmer's Land of Mo' ads, in Ready-or-Not Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, reminding you that the Big Three--Head DUmmie Skinner; his mini-me, DUAC Earl; and Assistant TechnoDUmmie Elad--the Troika as a group are one of the nominees for the Top DUmmies of 2011 (you can vote up through Wednesday night), is in the [brackets]:

You are viewing an obsolete version of the DU website which is no longer supported by the Administrators.

[This is the cheery yellow banner hanging at the top of DU2 now, greeting the unsuspecting DUmmies like a cold slap in the face.]

DU3 has moved. It's new location is here:

[Skinner sez: Pack your bags and get out of here! And make it quick! We need the hits at the new place for the ad revenue. . . . BTW, Skinner: It's "Its."]

[The DUmmies respond:]

It's sad being in here now.

[Skinner sez: You know what's sad? YOU ARE! Now get your butt over to the new place, where MAYBE I can make some more money off you fools!]

Ok ok...We're going.

[That's more like it. Now move it!]

I'm going to hang out at the old GD, for a while longer...wish DU3 had a GD forum, sir.

[QUIET! We don't need any backtalk from you! If we want to rename "General Discussion" as "Soapbox!" we'll jolly well do it!]

me too. i been a member for like 5 years and i don't like to change stuff.

[Keep the change, Skinner.]

Got out my mop and bucket, sweeping under the forums, now. Hollow, empty sounds is all I hear.

[I think you're gonna need a bigger bucket for over by benburch's desk.]

is there going to be a rummange sale?

[Pitt's truthout essays are going for ten to the dollar. And I think PJ can get you a BOGO coupon for triage milk over at Crazy Nadin's.]

I guess this is the "forever" goodbye.... Vaya con dios.

[Vaya con Gaia.]

remember, you will see a tunnel and hear some beautiful voices - at the end the tunnel is a light - just go to the light - just go to the light

[DUmmieland Is for Real: A Little Moonbat's Astounding Story of His Trip to DU3 and Back.]

this needs to go viral

[I think that's the purpose of the "hosts" at DU3.]

Skinner! What happened to all my bookmarks and saved PMs!?! Is all lost? I can't find any of it in the new DU! Please give us time to print and save before the change over! Some one please calm my fears!


There Is No G*d-D*mn Way I Am Going Over There To Post. I just clicked on a link to the new site so I clicked around, still looking. I just about had to puke. . . . General Discussion was gone. . . .

[There's no GD GD!!]

Are there "Journals" in DU3? Am I dumb for asking? Haven't seen it come up...and haven't seen Journals over there...but like I said, I'm dumb.

[Yes, you are DUmb, Will. We already knew that. And we also know what's behind your question: William Rivers Pitt needs a place for people to read his truthout essays!]

Thank you, DU2. For everything.

[After being reassured that he'll still have his precious journal, Will the Shill sucks up to Skinner.]

Despite minor errors, I'm finding DU3 to be completely functional...

[Unlike the people who post there.]

Are you blind? The fonts are too small, the smilies are damned near impossible to find, the latest page has all the stories squashed into a tiny column (which can be fixed if you're willing to pay $40/year), the HTML tag list is God-knows-where now, the software that selects juries is malfunctioning, error messages abound, and overall the design is so awful that a lot of people are complaining about eyestrain.

[Other than that, it's peachy keen!]

The "...this web site is not affiliated with the Democratic Party" disclaimer is gone in DU3.

[Hmmm. . . .]

I wonder why?

[Can you say "Democratic Underwritten"?]


[$kimmer?? No way!!]

Just to clear this up for everyone, Democratic Underground is still not affiliated with the Democratic Party.

[Skinner's mini-me, DUAC Earl, shows up to reassure the frightened masses. Just don't parse his words too closely.]

EarlG, Sorry to act like a lawyer, but. . . . I guess I am asking if your funding sources will change to include something beyond what members pay and the ads. Will the Democratic Party or another political group be involved in any aspect of DU3?

[For some reason, EarlG doesn't answer this question.]

OCCUPY DU GENERAL DISCUSSION! We're not leaving! The new DU3 suckz! . . . What the hell is a soapbox? That sounds like a segment from talk radio or an Oprah program. This 'hosting' and 'jury' bullsh*t makes the East German STASI look like elderly Shriners.

[No soap for you!]

resistance is futile

[You WILL be assimilated!]

I haven't heard this much wailing, whining and gnashing since the two dogs next door caught a cockatoo.

[Now upgraded to three dogs and a cockathree.]

The Hosts are Assuming Control. You Will Love Them!

[There is nothing wrong with your computer set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. Sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: There is nothing wrong with your computer set. You are about to participate in a great adventure. . . .]

Logging out. I can't bother saying much. Many many others have said more and better as to how badly sold out many of us feel. 10 years of posting here, and it's all rubbish, journal is archived, ignore list archived, watch what you say, maybe that's what they wanted all along, your edits are viewed, and you are judged by the most loathsome of people ever to post on DU. I'm too old for games and politics, and people who knife you in the back.

[Picky, picky, picky. . . .]

Locking. This is an attack and insult on other DU members. Rules are rules.

[Logging out and locking down. Nothing has changed in DUmmieland.]

This entire page should be BLANK except for the message to MOVE TO DU3. Stop the confusion!

[NOTHING will ever stop the confusion! These are DUmmies you're dealing with, remember. You could have DU47 and it wouldn't matter.]

Are we there yet?

[Quiet, Tommy. Play with your car bingo.]

DU2 feels like the house you're about to leave after moving out all of your belongings... The place still smells like "us". . . .

[The odor is distinctive, true.]

Pretty soon the new house will smell too.

[Hee! Hee!]

Damn. everything is so segregated and enforced. There is a post over there about a food drive benefit cat race - Cat Drag Racers Vie At Legendary Catnip Raceway (Held to raise awareness of food drive). That was locked! Now, I don't particularly like cats (nothing against them either), but the underlying purpose was a food drive. This gets locked in the 'soapbox'???

[The Soapbox is a Skinner Box. You have to be trained and reprogrammed in order to get your food drive unlocked. And watch out for the cats.]

I, for one, think DU2 was far easier to read. DU3 strains my eyes.

OMG - YES! The new format gives me a serious migraine! Unreadable.

[Well, I'm sure there must be a way to fix that . . .]

Try going into your account (top right-hand side of the page) and switching to "Classic" format...

[Ah, see? I told you!]

Just read on another thread you cannot do that unless you PAY.


I was flabbergasted when I tried to switch to Classic on DU3 and could not. There's a button indicating the change is only for paying members.

[DUmmies are just $42 away from being able to read their posts.]

i don't like anything about DU3.

[Blame Bush and the Tea Party. They made Skinner do it.]

the blue is too electric and hurts my eyes.

Skinner told me it is the same colors, but it does hurt.

[Skinner also told you that 2 + 2 = 5.]

DU3 is more monetizable, with more ads

[THERE you have nailed it, DUmmie populistleftist1. That's the bottom line. You win today's Kewpie Doll. That'll be $42, please.]

Teh DU has been raptured and we're all that's left!

[But, but . . . I BELIEEEEEEEEEVE!!!!!!!]

We got the place to ourself.

I am currently running in the hall w/scissors.

And I'm scooping up all the swell leftover avatars!

[You kids!]

It's like traveling between 2 parallel universes

[Actually, it's like going from Bizarro World 2 to Bizarro World 3.]

The jury thing will hurt more people. I have never heard of such a thing.

[It's a DUng jury.]

I think they should wait at least until the holidays are over. DU2 is like home.

[Ebenezer $kimmer sez: Bah humbug! Now get over to DU3! I've got ad revenue to collect!]

Saturday, December 10, 2011

DUmmies Upset Over Federal Crackdown On Legal Marijuana

Question: Which president's administration has done more to attack legal medicinal marijuana? The EVIL George Bush or the Beloved Barack Obama? Guess what? Even though the Bush Administration wasn't too keen on legalized medicinal marijuana, they pretty much left it alone. Meanwhile the Obama Regime is actively attempting to drive the current medical marijuana dispensaries OUT of business via the IRS declaring that such businesses can NOT declare deductions for their business expenses. This means if such a dispensary has a gross income of a million dollars and expenses of $900,000 they would be taxed on the full million, not the $100,000 net income as would be the case for all other businesses.

You can see for yourself the struggles of the medical marijuana business in the Dicovery Channel's "Weed Wars" as the executive director Steve DeAngelo of the largest medical marijuana dispensary, Harborside Health Center, is battling the Feds attempt to DESTROY that business. But WHY would the Bamster, who during the 2008 campaign expressed his support for legalized medicinal marijuana, now crack down on it? As Rush has stated many times, if you want to find the motivations for the Obama Regime, them FOLLOW THE MONEY. And the money trail in this case leads to the Big Pharma supporters of Obama. With the economy in a shambles, Obama needs every available buck to reach his re-election campaign goal of a BILLION BUCKS.

So why does Big Pharma want outfits like Harborside Health Center driven OUT of business? Because they want the lucrative business for themselves so they have instructed the Obama Regime to drive the small guys OUT of business. Who is making this "wild" allegation? Some vicious "rightwing" source? Nope. Many Doper sites, including TOKE OF THE TOWN are making these accusations:

As pointed out on The Young Turks, this crackdown is nothing more than a process of eliminating the competition for Big Pharma. GW Pharmaceutical and other manufacturers want to take over the marijuana market with products like Sativex, a liquid extract of cannabis that contains both THC and CBD.

"Every single decision comes back to some lobbyist who paid for it," Young Turks host Cenk Uygur said.

Of course, the DUmmies are too DUmb to figure why the IRS on instructions from the Obama Regime, working for its Pharma paymasters, is suppressing their beloved pot as you can see in this THREAD, "Feds Force Hundreds of California's Medical Marijuana Dispensaries to Close." So let us now watch the DUmmies mourn the sacrifice of their Green Weed on the altar of Obama's re-election campaign in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, whose abhorrence of smoke polluting his lungs has prevented both tobacco and pot from entering those chambers, is in in the [barackets]:

Feds Force Hundreds of California's Medical Marijuana Dispensaries to Close


Less than two months after California's U.S. attorneys announced plans to initiate a federal crackdown on the state's medial marijuana distributors and patients, hundreds of California's medical marijuana dispensaries have been forced to close their doors. The federal war on weed came as a surprise to many distributors and patients who remember Obama's campaign promise not to act on medical marijuana, but leave regulations up to the state. Instead, he has proven himself to be even worse than George Bush.

[SURPRISE! SURPRISE! The One has tossed your medical marijuana under the bus at the direction of his Big Pharma paymasters.]

According to the Sacramento Bee, only eight of 99 dispensaries remain open in Sacramento County, and 25 of 38 have closed in Sacramento city. Even more have closed out of fear of federal prosecution against business operators and their landlords. In Sand Diego, almost two-thirds of about 220 dispensaries have closed under threats of federal property seizures and city lawsuits.

[Dope and Change?]

The threats have caused some businesses to turn to delivery services, pushing patients into a more stigmatized environment.

[Hey DUmmies! The money you can now save because you are unable to purchase the legal pot, you can now contribute to the Obama 2012 Re-Election Committee.]

Multiple lawsuits have been filed to stop the federal attack on legal, medical marijuana, but the outcomes may not be favorable. U.S. District Judge Saundra Brown Armstrong recently ruled that she would not protect marijuana dispensaries from federal actions because federal law considers marijuana illegal, and Congress still refuses to acknowledge the plant's medical value.

[The BOTTOM LINE reason is that Obama needs a steady stream of Benjamins from Big Pharma. And now the DUmmie reaction to this AlterNet article...]

This is so outrageous. Many people are now out of a job. Patients are without access to their meds. Black market criminal activity will increase, as well as prices.

[Hope and you need some spare change?]

Obama is one cruel dude. He's lost me, but many of my outlaw grower friends are happy with his war on pot. The market has been glutted with inexpensive and beautiful buds for years. Now the guerilla growers and the gangs can look for the prices to rise again.

[The Mexican drug cartels are also very happy as well as thankful to the Bamster's DEA for laundering their money for them al norte de la frontera.]

None of this makes any sense. The reasons that led to cannabis prohibition are laughable. Reefer Madness propaganda still lives on, after 75 years.

[Actually it make perfect sense. Big Pharma wants in on the medical marijuana market and has used its re-election campaign donations to direct Obama to put the competition OUT of business.]

More change we can believe in

[Obama 2012!!!]

I stock up every time I go into town.

[Good new! In my other role as the Coupon Whisperer I have located medical marijuana COUPONS for you. Enjoy!]

if the goon squads don't have time to play with them the IRS will do to them. what they've done to Harborside in Oakland. Deny deductions.

[That way Eric Holder can continue to pretend that he isn't prosecuting the current medical marijuana distributors. He can just let the IRS do his dirty work for him.]

Google Harborside IRS for the gory details and the future of all dispensaries. It's right there.

[Or just watch "Weed Wars" to see how The Bamster is putting the screws to them on orders from his Big Pharma paymasters.]

The oldest club in the nation, The Marin Alliance For Medical Marijuana, has operated by the book since the beginning. They are licensed by the town of Fairfax, CA, operate with the town's blessing, but the feds are getting ready to close them down. They aren't allowed to claim any business expenses. The IRS is after them for millions in back taxes. No providers are safe anymore. The shit is hitting the fan.

[Sorry but Obama's re-election bucks have priority over all civil liberties. Smoke that in your bong pipe.]

He won't miss my vote when I stay home next November.

[No Toke. No Vote.]

Not only is there seemingly no national reporter that realizes this elephant in the fracking dining room but apparently few others realize the significance of this. It's really quite astounding.

[What's really astounding is that NONE of you have figured out that Obama is cracking down on pot at the request of his Big Pharma paymasters. But then you can't say "Dopester" without saying "Dope."]

This is not a good thing. The feds are not allowing dispensaries to claim business expenses. Non profits will be targeted soon enough.

[They already have as you can see on "Weed Wars."]

The President supports legal Medical Marijuana!

[But only if it is sold by his Big Pharma paymasters.]

Friday, December 09, 2011

"Props to nadinbrzezinski," Girl Reporter!

DUmmie of the Year favorite nadinbrzezinski, aka Know-it-all Nadin, is doing everying she can to take home the coveted trophy. What a year she's a had! And now she's finishing with a flourish!

How, you ask? Nadin Brzezinski, Girl Reporter! Yes, our gal Nads has been running all over San Diego, working her little pencil to the nub, getting the inside scoop on Occupy San Diego. Snapping pictures, filing reports, "Nadin Abbott" (her married name) has been posting articles about the Occupy protest for some online community-volunteer website. So Nadin now fancies herself an intrepid, tireless, investigative journalist, sniffing out stories and keeping everyone up to speed--with a little help from MSNBC, Current TV, and the google, of course. We get a taste of Naddie's journo-activism here in this THREAD, "Well aparently not tied to OWS, but the tension," and this THREAD, "Well after two months plus of OWS I need a break."

Well, Nadin's efforts on behalf of humanity have not gone unrewarded. DUmmieland realizes what a treasure they have on their hands, and now they are expressing their appreciation, as we will see in this THREAD, "Props to nadinbrzezinski."

So let us now see even more reasons why we should all vote Know-it-all Nadin for DUmmie of the Year, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, reminding you that DOTY balloting at Conservative Cave ends Wednesday night, is in the [brackets]

Well aparently not tied to OWS but the tension . . .

[FUnnie subject line for a thread? Yes, it is. What happened, you see, is that Nadin "aparently" had a different headline, in which she did tie a certain organiztion to OWS, but it isn't, and she hadn't checked her facts first, and someone quickly pointed that out to her, and now she has edited her post and is backtracking.]

Well aparently not tied to OWS but the tension we have seen. A group does go political in the more traditional way most folks will understand... if all you think about is a party.

[Huh? Whatever you say, Nadin. Now, after being corrected, Nadin has checked the google and found a link to the organization in question.]

are we sure this is legit? Someone might just be trying to cash in

[Someone questions Nadin's initial report, pre-edit.]

Oh very, just ran add on countdown

["Oh very"! Nadin sees an "add" on Keef Olbermann's show and concludes--and immediately posts--that the organization is tied to OWS. But it turns out it isn't!]

Where are the getting the money to run ads?

[Someone asks Nadin a question.]

Good quesiton, will have to sniff. . . .

[Nadin will sniff and find out the answer to your "quesiton" and get back to you.]

I doubt this group is legit.

Who are the powerful people in this party?

[Enquiring minds want to know, Nadin. Help us out here.]

Reachiing for the history hat. . . .

[Nadin wears many hats, and now she's "reachiing" for the one marked "History major."]

Grangers... this is what this is... a THIRD PARTY. Some folks, even here, were demanding when OWS would get political, it has from word go, but in a way that they'd recognize... well it will be if...

[Grangers, from word go.]

At this point I report on this... and I will have to sniff how many GA's have agreed... but I am all but surprised. And given how ahem... anarchy driven this is... It will make for interesting reporting.

[Nadin Brzezinski, Girl Reporter--and Sniffer Extraordinaire!]

Do you know if this was endorsed by any GA(s)?

[More questions for Nadin!]

It ran on Keith, so I suspect it has. I will have to go sniff. . . .

["It ran on Keith." Now that would be enough for most folks, but not our Nadin! She will still do the hard work of sniffing!]

The delegates of the 99percent declaration better have a plan b...Because all those fine folks will be summarily rounded up and "disappeared". You can bet on it. The big shot 1% criminals aren't just going to hand over the keys to power without... oh, well you all know the routine. Then again, maybe you don't.

["Maybe you don't"?? Know-it-all Nadin jolly well knows the routine!]

Oh trust me I know. Better than most.

[Better than ALL, Nadin, better than ALL. You are far too humble.]

I need to go sniff on a story on jail conditions for my local occupiers.

[Sniffing, sniffing, sniffing. . . . A girl reporter's work in never done!]

THAT IS NOT OWS BUT ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ORGANIZATION. No surprise that you would get it wrong.

[Oopsie! Nadin jumped the gun, it looks like! Better edit now and cover your tracks, Nadin!]

[Well, moving on . . .]

Well after two months plus of OWS I need a break

[Even tireless reporters need a break sometimes.]

so today, I am taking a fiction break... usually my way to recharge energies is to go ahead and do a short story.

[Nadin is reachiing for the "author" hat. BTW, do you think Nadin actually took a break that day? No, she kept on posting all over the place.]

You deserve it, you've been busy this year with Fukushima and Occupy Wall Street.

[Here is a picture of Nadin Brzezinski, Girl Reporter, investigating the radioactive death clouds from Fukushima:]

[Yes, Nadin is always busy sniffing and so forth, looking out for the little people. And now a grateful DUmmieland expresses its thanks . . .]

Props to nadinbrzezinski,

[Give it up for Nads!]

So, to nadine and all who have persistently spread the truth, and to all who have taken to the streets, there may be a free and democratic America in the future, and it will thank you.

[The street has been crossed! Nadin will go down in them history books!]

I just unrecced the unreccers by reccing.

[Right off the bat, people are unreccing this "Props to Nadin" thread. Hee! Hee!]

I cant figure out these un-rec'ers. . . . Just dont understand their motivation.

[Maybe it's because Nadin is such a condescending goofball she embarrasses and annoys even DUmmieland.]

nadinbrzezinski is TOPS!


Nadins posts make me dance around my vodka baba!!!

[She has that effect!]

Love her! She's a DU treasure!

[What a gal!]

Little neurotic, but that seems to be the mode here.

[Democratic Understatement.]

No more days off for Nadin!

[Keep you nose to the limestone, Nadin!]

One smart cookie!

[With lots of nuts!]

I'm glad to associate with other people who have their finger on the truth and their feet in reality.

[And their nose on the ground, sniffing.]

I used to like readying her stuff...but when I saw the trends, I realized that it was purely a phyrric victory.

[There's that DUmmie SidDithers again, posting on a Nadin thread, just as he so often does, in order to MOCK Nadin, right under her nose! I love this guy! In one short post, Sid gets in THREE digs at the All-Knowing One: "readying," a chronic Nadin misspelling; "trends"--Nadin is a self-proclaimed trend-spotter; and "phyrric," an ill-fitting historical reference *and* a misspelling! And Nadin doesn't even realize what he's just done! Hee! Hee!]

I am going to blush now.

[Nadin comes to the mike and acknowledges her adoring fans.]

What I sort of expected was for the alternate media to emerge. Now I am doing some of that reporting too...Monday will be a LONG day. And also working on an essay on OWS right now. Evil OWS. I find myself reading Emma Goldman and Mikhail Bakunin...ear I guess is tightly tuned to echoes.

[Ear tuned to echoes. Feet in reality. Finger on the truth. Nose sniffing among the odors. ALL of Nadin's body parts, in service to humanity!]

You deserve the recognition.

Hail, Nadin!!

[Nadin Brzezinski, Girl Reporter . . . and DUMMIE OF THE YEAR! GO NADS!]

Monday, December 05, 2011

"Cenk's Back" and Grayson's on him!

"Cenk's Back" and Grayson's on him! Yes, that's the news that's rocking the political talk world today. Cenk Uygur is BACK! Back on TV, back in your living room, where he belongs. And--now hold on to your hat--Alan Grayson is slated to be his first guest, TONIGHT! Wow! Is this exciting or what?

Your genial TV talk host, Cenk "The Young Turk" Uygur, has been absent from the cable airwaves, lo, these past many months, after an all-too-brief run on MSNBC, where, somehow, he was not able to garner the ratings he so richly deserves. I think Diebold must have been running the ratings service. And so we were forced to go Cold Turk-y. We were knocked Cenkless. But now the long national nightmare is over. It's like the end of Prohibition. Woo-hoo! CENK UYGUR IS BACK ON TV! And he'll be on Current TV, Algore's network that also has Keef! Eat your heart out, MSNBC! What were you thinking??

And who is it that is reporting this good news to the DUmmies? None other that Alan "Guts" Grayson, who, likewise, was suddenly dismissed from his post--congressman from Orlando, Florida--after only one term. And guess what? Alan Grayson is not only reporting the return of Cenk, Alan Grayson will be Cenk's first guest, TONIGHT! Oh joy! Can you imagine? Alan Grayson on Cenk Uygur's first show? On Current TV? Tonight? Be still my beating heart! I'm counting down the minutes!

It's all here, in this THREAD, posted by Alan Grayson himself, "Cenk's Back."

So now, on this DUbble-DUFU Monday, let us go to a reenergized DUmmieland, where the place is abuzz with excitement and glowing in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, contemplating the impact that a new Cenk Uygur program will have on our national dialogue--indeed, on our entire political future--is in the [brackets]:

Cenk's Back

[Could . . . could this be . . . Cenk UYGUR? Or is it some other Cenk? No, here in the context of DUmmieland, this could only be referring to the Young Turk himself. And "Back"?? You mean back on TV?? No, this sounds too good to be true! I must have some other proof to believe this. Perhaps this is a hoax of some sort. Don't get our hopes up, only to have them come crashing to the ground! Pray, tell us, who is it that is reporting this breaking news? What is your name, sir or madam?]

Alan Grayson (109 posts)

[Wha? WHA-AA?? You mean, Alan "Guts" Grayson, the former congressman from Orlando who was CHEATED out of reelection to the House by some Rethug conspiracy? THE Alan Grayson, the Lion of the House, the Heartthrob of DUmmieland, the worthy successor to the likes of Wellstone and Feingold? Alan Grayson, who actually SIGNED UP and JOINED DUmmieland, so that now we are proud to call him "DUmmie Alan Grayson"?? That Alan Grayson? Why, blow me down with a feather, it is!! None other!]

Cenk Uygur, host of The Young Turks and former MSNBC host, returns to TV tomorrow [Monday] night, on Current TV. And he has invited me to be a guest on his first show.

[I'm shaking! I'm as giddy as a schoolgirl!]

Cenk virtually invented Internet TV news . . .

[And now he'll be on Current TV, the network run by Algore, the man who invented the Internet! How fitting!]

and completely dominates that medium.

[Cenk is EXTRA LARGE on that medium!]

His on-the-air signature is a quite simple one: like Rachel Maddow, Ed Schultz, Keith Olbermann and Dylan Ratigan, Cenk Uygur is a hard-hitting, unapologetic progressive.

[His on-the-air signature is a quite simple one: like Rachel Mancow, Sergeant Schultz, Keef Ogremann, and . . . some other guy (Demo Ratigan?), Cenk Uygur is a hate-spitting, unattractive ratings depressive.]

Now, Cenk has decided to take his talents to Current TV.

[Translation: The Young Jerk got a job offer, at a low salary, on a network nobody watches, which, I guess, is better than nothing.]

If you want to see someone with a head, a heart and a spine report the news tomorrow [Monday] night, then you can tune in to Cenk’s show.

[Cenk has most all his body parts! He's the complete package!]

And if you want to help to see someone with a head, a heart, and a spine in Congress next year, then you can support our campaign.

[Ah, and with a link to donate! Now the REAL reason for this post begins to emerge: Alan "Nuts" Grayson is running for Congress again! And he wants to tap into some easy money, i.e., all the pizza dough that the moonstruck moonbats will happily send his way! Why, I bet that Al isn't even the one posting this to the DUmmies. He's probably got some lowly staffer sending out this press release to all the liberal blogs. He's done that before. Which would explain why he doesn't respond to all the DUmmies who will try to speak with him in the comments that follow.]


Alan Grayson

[Send me your money,

Alan Grayson]

I can hardly wait to see you both!

[Here's a clue, DUmmie eleny: Alan Grayson is not really here, reading your stupid little comment. He just wants your money. Click the donate link--that's what this is about.]

I'm watching Current more and more each day.

[So YOU'RE the one!]

I'll be watching!!

We'll be tuning in!

[There could be an audience in the TENS!]

Hi Mr. Grayson

[He's not listening to you. He's not here. The donate link is here. Are you brain-dead or what?]

With the news of Barney Frank leaving Congress we need voices like yourself. . . .

[We need Alan Grayson to fill the hole that Barney Frank leaves behind.]

Right before Keith's show, right?

[Uygur and Olbermann, the Mantle and Maris of Moonbatters' Row.]

Hello Mr Grayson. I hope your campaign is going well.

[Click the link, stupid.]

Tomorrow's my birthday. I always wanted an Alan Grayson for my birthday!

[You are sick. Seriously. Seek professional help.]

Burstin' my buttons

[Hit the donate button, that's all that counts.]

I am soooo looking forward to this! Woohoo!

[At TV & appliance stores across the land, crowds are gathering in front of the windows even as we speak, waiting to catch this great moment in television history.]

Perfect combo...Cenk and you!

Perfect time slot, perfect host and perfect first guest!

[It's a Perfect Airwavian Storm!]

Both of you save my sanity and focus me on an act of resistance every day.

[The Young Jerk and "Nuts" Grayson: The sanity savers, that's what they are!]

get your butt back in office soon, please!

[benburch is pleading! You've got to fill that Barney Frank void!]

They have not invented a word in the English language to express how much I'm looking forward to this. . . .

["Orgasmic"? "On tippytoes"? No wait, that's two words. Or three, depending on how you spell "tippytoes."]

love you always Alan! :)


What's up, Alan?

[$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. Am I saying anything?]

if you ever need help, feel free to PM me with what I can do for your campaign.

[OK, Alan will do that, I'm sure. "Say, DUmmie Proud_Lefty, what advice can you give me to help me get back in office? No, I don't want your money. Pssh! Do you think I would be so crass? No, I just want your WISDOM, DUmmie Proud_Lefty. Wisdom, that's the thing! And you're the one that I turn to when I'm seeking sage counsel. It's like I always tell people, 'You know, that DUmmie Proud_Lefty--salt of the earth, that chap. Never lets me down. There's a man you can count on!'"]

i think this is a mistake. I see current crashing and burning, i dont know anyone who gets it and i just dont see it staying around long.

[HERETIC! LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! Don't listen to the haters, Cenk!]

I heart Cenk!

[I dollar Alan!]