Monday, December 12, 2011

Skinner unveils the new DUmmieland! DUmmies grouse.

It's a new day in DUmmieland! Indeed, it's a whole new DUmmieland! Head DUmmie Skinner unveiled the new and improved DU3 over the weekend. A new look, new forums, new format--and, it looks like, more room for new advertising. $kimmer knows where his bread is buttered. But it's DU3, for gosh sakes, it's new and improved, and you people better just sit back and enjoy it!

So summarily over the weekend Landlord Skinner told the inmates they had to vacate DU2 and move over to DU3. Reactions of glee and joy, right, like the Israelites crossing the Jordan and entering the Promised Land? Wrong. If there's one thing DUmmies love to do, it's grouse. They'd rather stay wandering in the wilderness of the old DU--at least it feels like home. And they don't like the looks of the new place, with its heavyhanded new rules and regulations--"juries" and "hosts" who can lock and block threads. There's a whiff of facism in the air. And what's more, the DUmmies recognize $kimmer's DU3 for what it is: A land flowing with bilk and money.

Nevertheless, it's out with the old and in with the new! But before we make the trek across the Jordan, we'll take a final look around at the old DU2 and sample some of the grousing. We'll start with this THREAD, "DU3 has moved. It's new location is here:" in which Skinner tells the DUmmies to move. And then we'll stop in at a few other threads, in which the DUmmies grouse about it.

So let us now pause on the plains of Moab, as the DUmmies look across into $kimmer's Land of Mo' ads, in Ready-or-Not Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, reminding you that the Big Three--Head DUmmie Skinner; his mini-me, DUAC Earl; and Assistant TechnoDUmmie Elad--the Troika as a group are one of the nominees for the Top DUmmies of 2011 (you can vote up through Wednesday night), is in the [brackets]:

You are viewing an obsolete version of the DU website which is no longer supported by the Administrators.

[This is the cheery yellow banner hanging at the top of DU2 now, greeting the unsuspecting DUmmies like a cold slap in the face.]

DU3 has moved. It's new location is here:

[Skinner sez: Pack your bags and get out of here! And make it quick! We need the hits at the new place for the ad revenue. . . . BTW, Skinner: It's "Its."]

[The DUmmies respond:]

It's sad being in here now.

[Skinner sez: You know what's sad? YOU ARE! Now get your butt over to the new place, where MAYBE I can make some more money off you fools!]

Ok ok...We're going.

[That's more like it. Now move it!]

I'm going to hang out at the old GD, for a while longer...wish DU3 had a GD forum, sir.

[QUIET! We don't need any backtalk from you! If we want to rename "General Discussion" as "Soapbox!" we'll jolly well do it!]

me too. i been a member for like 5 years and i don't like to change stuff.

[Keep the change, Skinner.]

Got out my mop and bucket, sweeping under the forums, now. Hollow, empty sounds is all I hear.

[I think you're gonna need a bigger bucket for over by benburch's desk.]

is there going to be a rummange sale?

[Pitt's truthout essays are going for ten to the dollar. And I think PJ can get you a BOGO coupon for triage milk over at Crazy Nadin's.]

I guess this is the "forever" goodbye.... Vaya con dios.

[Vaya con Gaia.]

remember, you will see a tunnel and hear some beautiful voices - at the end the tunnel is a light - just go to the light - just go to the light

[DUmmieland Is for Real: A Little Moonbat's Astounding Story of His Trip to DU3 and Back.]

this needs to go viral

[I think that's the purpose of the "hosts" at DU3.]

Skinner! What happened to all my bookmarks and saved PMs!?! Is all lost? I can't find any of it in the new DU! Please give us time to print and save before the change over! Some one please calm my fears!


There Is No G*d-D*mn Way I Am Going Over There To Post. I just clicked on a link to the new site so I clicked around, still looking. I just about had to puke. . . . General Discussion was gone. . . .

[There's no GD GD!!]

Are there "Journals" in DU3? Am I dumb for asking? Haven't seen it come up...and haven't seen Journals over there...but like I said, I'm dumb.

[Yes, you are DUmb, Will. We already knew that. And we also know what's behind your question: William Rivers Pitt needs a place for people to read his truthout essays!]

Thank you, DU2. For everything.

[After being reassured that he'll still have his precious journal, Will the Shill sucks up to Skinner.]

Despite minor errors, I'm finding DU3 to be completely functional...

[Unlike the people who post there.]

Are you blind? The fonts are too small, the smilies are damned near impossible to find, the latest page has all the stories squashed into a tiny column (which can be fixed if you're willing to pay $40/year), the HTML tag list is God-knows-where now, the software that selects juries is malfunctioning, error messages abound, and overall the design is so awful that a lot of people are complaining about eyestrain.

[Other than that, it's peachy keen!]

The "...this web site is not affiliated with the Democratic Party" disclaimer is gone in DU3.

[Hmmm. . . .]

I wonder why?

[Can you say "Democratic Underwritten"?]


[$kimmer?? No way!!]

Just to clear this up for everyone, Democratic Underground is still not affiliated with the Democratic Party.

[Skinner's mini-me, DUAC Earl, shows up to reassure the frightened masses. Just don't parse his words too closely.]

EarlG, Sorry to act like a lawyer, but. . . . I guess I am asking if your funding sources will change to include something beyond what members pay and the ads. Will the Democratic Party or another political group be involved in any aspect of DU3?

[For some reason, EarlG doesn't answer this question.]

OCCUPY DU GENERAL DISCUSSION! We're not leaving! The new DU3 suckz! . . . What the hell is a soapbox? That sounds like a segment from talk radio or an Oprah program. This 'hosting' and 'jury' bullsh*t makes the East German STASI look like elderly Shriners.

[No soap for you!]

resistance is futile

[You WILL be assimilated!]

I haven't heard this much wailing, whining and gnashing since the two dogs next door caught a cockatoo.

[Now upgraded to three dogs and a cockathree.]

The Hosts are Assuming Control. You Will Love Them!

[There is nothing wrong with your computer set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. Sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: There is nothing wrong with your computer set. You are about to participate in a great adventure. . . .]

Logging out. I can't bother saying much. Many many others have said more and better as to how badly sold out many of us feel. 10 years of posting here, and it's all rubbish, journal is archived, ignore list archived, watch what you say, maybe that's what they wanted all along, your edits are viewed, and you are judged by the most loathsome of people ever to post on DU. I'm too old for games and politics, and people who knife you in the back.

[Picky, picky, picky. . . .]

Locking. This is an attack and insult on other DU members. Rules are rules.

[Logging out and locking down. Nothing has changed in DUmmieland.]

This entire page should be BLANK except for the message to MOVE TO DU3. Stop the confusion!

[NOTHING will ever stop the confusion! These are DUmmies you're dealing with, remember. You could have DU47 and it wouldn't matter.]

Are we there yet?

[Quiet, Tommy. Play with your car bingo.]

DU2 feels like the house you're about to leave after moving out all of your belongings... The place still smells like "us". . . .

[The odor is distinctive, true.]

Pretty soon the new house will smell too.

[Hee! Hee!]

Damn. everything is so segregated and enforced. There is a post over there about a food drive benefit cat race - Cat Drag Racers Vie At Legendary Catnip Raceway (Held to raise awareness of food drive). That was locked! Now, I don't particularly like cats (nothing against them either), but the underlying purpose was a food drive. This gets locked in the 'soapbox'???

[The Soapbox is a Skinner Box. You have to be trained and reprogrammed in order to get your food drive unlocked. And watch out for the cats.]

I, for one, think DU2 was far easier to read. DU3 strains my eyes.

OMG - YES! The new format gives me a serious migraine! Unreadable.

[Well, I'm sure there must be a way to fix that . . .]

Try going into your account (top right-hand side of the page) and switching to "Classic" format...

[Ah, see? I told you!]

Just read on another thread you cannot do that unless you PAY.


I was flabbergasted when I tried to switch to Classic on DU3 and could not. There's a button indicating the change is only for paying members.

[DUmmies are just $42 away from being able to read their posts.]

i don't like anything about DU3.

[Blame Bush and the Tea Party. They made Skinner do it.]

the blue is too electric and hurts my eyes.

Skinner told me it is the same colors, but it does hurt.

[Skinner also told you that 2 + 2 = 5.]

DU3 is more monetizable, with more ads

[THERE you have nailed it, DUmmie populistleftist1. That's the bottom line. You win today's Kewpie Doll. That'll be $42, please.]

Teh DU has been raptured and we're all that's left!

[But, but . . . I BELIEEEEEEEEEVE!!!!!!!]

We got the place to ourself.

I am currently running in the hall w/scissors.

And I'm scooping up all the swell leftover avatars!

[You kids!]

It's like traveling between 2 parallel universes

[Actually, it's like going from Bizarro World 2 to Bizarro World 3.]

The jury thing will hurt more people. I have never heard of such a thing.

[It's a DUng jury.]

I think they should wait at least until the holidays are over. DU2 is like home.

[Ebenezer $kimmer sez: Bah humbug! Now get over to DU3! I've got ad revenue to collect!]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Charles, not to be a grammar nazi, but you generally do a bang-up job. Facism should be fascism. 8-)

3:39 PM  
Anonymous Corona said...

"The Hosts are Assuming Control. You Will Love Them!"

I bet "You Will Love Them" is not spoken with the tone normally associated with it.

5:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Facism" is a classic DU-ism, Anon 3:39 p.m. - as classic as 'This is hugh!' or Nadin saying 'The google.' Charles is a lot more subtle and perceptive than you're giving him credit for being.



9:41 AM  

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