Thursday, March 31, 2011

DUmmies Discuss Trader Joe's

I've often said that the best way to maintain your LFT status in DUmmieland is to build up your posts to the Magic 1000 by discussing non-political matters in the DUmmie Lounge. Currently they have a topic that is easy to get into on this THREAD, "Today, we went to Trader Joes for the first time." Yeah! I really miss Trader Joe's from my California days. Unfortunately we have NO Trader Joe's in South Florida but this thread would give me a great opportunity to indulge in some gastronomic nostalgia. However, I would probably also give myself away by taking the lead in showing the passive DUmmies how they could save a lot of money shopping at Trader Joe's. Since DUmmies are like the Eloi and just accept whatever economic fate hands them, any indication of actively doing something to lower your costs could expose one as a LFT.

Right NOW the DUmmies (and anyone else) can knock your Trader Joe's cost by over HALF. How? Let me explain:

First step is to sign up with GroupOn (it's FREE). Then head over to eBay and on their front page click on their offer of a $15 eBay Gift Card being sold for just $7 until midnight tonight. Once this eBay gift card is purchased, you can then use it to buy (SURPRISE!)a $15 Trader Joe's gift card for approximately $15. Since your $15 eBay Gift Card only costs $7, you were really able to buy the Trader Joe's Gift Card for over half off.

Of course, there are MANY other ways to save money via coupons at Trader Joe's which I shall reveal using my special skills as THE COUPON WHISPERER. So let us now join the DUmmies who are clueless on how to save money and watch them discuss Trader Joe's in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who continues to miss the great Asahi beer deals at Trader Joe's, is in the [brackets]:

Today, we went to Trader Joes for the first time

[Hey DUmmie! Could you tell me how much a six-pack of Asahi beer is selling for nowadays?]

Mrs. OBD thought it was expensive.

[And, of course, not a single thought from you or any other DUmmie on how to REDUCE those costs.]

I wan't sure I could see what all the fuss was about.

[The "fuss" is you can get some really good quality munchies and beer for very reasonable prices. Prices you can REDUCE even more if you had the slightest bit of economic sense which you don't.]

I like their vitamins, olive oils, and wines and nuts, and chocolates, and fresh fruits/veggies, and cookies, and frozen foods. And chips. And dairy. I guess I do like TJs.

[At the Trader Joe's St. Louis store near a certain LCMS Pastor, you can get Panda licorice for $2.49 for 7 oz. Why do I mention this? Because I once knew the Finnish guy, Tomi, who was married to the woman whose family owned Panda candy in Finland. Panda is considered the BEST candy in all of Scandinavia and their big specialty is licorice. If you think you've eaten licorice, you haven't. You have just eaten stuff with flavoring. Not REAL licorice which is very different. Anyway, Tomi, his wife, and I, once shared a booth at the Calle Ocho festival in Miami. They sold Panda candy (including licorice) and I sold sunglasses and sodas. The crowd went WILD over their candy, especially the licorice. They even sold special salted licorice that you are supposed to eat while drinking beer. Several weeks later (this was about 1997), my Finnish friend and his father, Hans, came over to my place and I showed them my computer. After surfing around a bit they asked to see the local Helsinki newspaper which I told them would probably be available online. When it came on the screen they asked which edition it was and I told them it was today's edition. At that moment, they told me they had to IMMEDIATELY go to an electronics store to buy a computer which they did. Okay so much for my Panda licorice nostalgia. But wait, there's MORE!!! You can also get a coupon for this GOURMET Panda licorice which is available in the Co-Op Advantage Coupon Book.
p.s. The downside to eating Panda licorice is that you will NEVER be satisfied with the fake licorice that is normally sold.]

TJ's is a great place to get olive oil, dried fruits, and nuts. I've also found good prices on some of the fresh fruit as well. Fresh flowers are also a good buy. I don't do the bulk of my shopping there, however.

[Wherever you do the bulk of your shopping, I am sure you are getting ripped off due to your utter lack of couponing skills.]

I find the prices about the same as my local grocery stores plus more healthy choices

[Plus it is just plain FUn to shop at Trader Joe's. Among their exotic breakfast items is McCann's Irish Oatmeal for which you can find the coupon HERE.]

Go to the cheese section. They have a sharp english cheddar with carmalized onions... It's like freakin crack.

[And I bet it never once occurred to this DUmmie that he could find a coupon for the Trader Joe's Finlandia (they seem to get a lot of products from Finland) sliced Swiss cheese (via Finland?) HERE. ]

Before we started roasting our own coffee, TJ's has the best for least. Pre-ground or use the grinder at the store.

[So if you buy that $15 eBay Gift Card for just $7, you can buy this $10 Trader Joe's Peppermint Coffee for, in effect, less than 5 bucks.]

just making out my shopping list for next trip.
Let's see...
chipolte hummus
horseradish hummus
crystallized ginger
Two Buck Chuck!

[I recently finished off a bottle of Two Buck Chuck delivered to me by a relative from the West Coast.]

I've never been one to enjoy grocery shopping - but at Trader's, I just feel better when I'm there. There's always good music playing (which definitely makes the experience kind of fun) and the people, staff and fellow shoppers, are almost always pleasant and friendly. It's one of the few times I go into a store (other a book store) where I actually feel better when I come out than when I go in.

[And I sure felt better when I used to go into Trader Joe's on hot summer afternoons and picked up ice cold six-packs of Asahi beer that sold for only $3.25 each (early 90s).]

I go there every couple weeks since it's the closest store with free-range, organic chicken and my husband still eats meat.

[I wonder what an Industrial Park chicken tastes like? I actually know of one. In fact I saw it yesterday when I visited some friends who work at an industrial park and have a chicken that roams around and provides them with eggs. Ironically the same place where I go on Fridays to get my jerk chicken fix.]

Trader Joe's orange juice, eggs, cheeses and their Tuscan Pane bread cost quite a bit less than similar products in our area grocery stores. Morningstar Farms veggie breakfast sausages are less expensive at Trader Joe's too. Of course grocery stores in the suburbs of Washington DC are pricier than in my former home state, New Jersey, so the price comparisons will vary depending on where you live.

[I don't want to depress this DUmmie by telling her that The Coupon Whisperer pays almost NOTHING for food. In fact The Coupon Whisperer will actually be PAID to "buy" stuff for the next few weeks but that's another story. One cashier even calls me the "guy who never spends more than $3 of his own money" no matter how much stuff I buy.]

I generally like TJ's, though I find their urban affectation very annoying. They refuse to open stores in smaller cities or towns for no reason I can easily discern. I'd have loved a TJ's around when I was in college, but their bias towards locating only in large cities or the suburbs of said large cities meant that the nearest TJ's was over three hours away.

[Yeah, like they're really going to open up a TJ's in Podunk Junction, Pop. 10. And before they do that I think they would be better off opening up a store SOMEWHERE in South Florida.]

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Know-it-all Nadin is BACK, saying "Told you so"!

Please go on with last night's DUFU on Obama's Libya speech, but I do need to give you this breaking news: DUmmie nadinbrzezinksi, the world's foremost authority . . . Know-it-all Nadin is BACK! See this THREAD, "Told you so... that yes it was going to be bad."

BRAVE Nadin, coming back to inform us, when you KNOW she will face TORRENTS of abuse! Nadin is the Rebecca Black of DUmmieland, singing her lovely "Friday" song for us, only to get SCORN from the unappreciative philistines!

So let us welcome back the All-Knowing One with open arms, as she returns to guide and guard us in Radioactive Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--who thought his fifteen-year-old daughter was exaggerating how bad the Rebecca Black video was, until he actually saw it and realized it really IS terrible--is in the [brackets]:

Told you so... that yes it was going to be bad

[The All-Knowing One is BACK, and with a "Told you so" thread! Way to get back in everyone's good graces! BTW, Nades, how long was your "taking a break from DU" THIS time?]

And this is just today...

[Nadin links to two threads about death clouds of radiation wafting over from Japan. Nadin, yesterday I had my annual dental x-rays, four of them. I would venture to say I got more radiation from that than you will get in your cows' milk in California. Calm down.]

Don't expect an apology over the abuse I took... that would take something more, that is guts, or honor.

[The abuse you took, Nadin! It was inhuman! And all the while, you were just looking to INFORM us ignorant masses with your vast superior knowledge, telling us things we could never know without YOU, nadin brzzrznnszkszi, THE WORLD'S FOREMOST AUTHORITY!!]

Now I hate to say it... I TOLD YOU SO

[Nadin is secretly Dale Carnegie in drag.]

It will get worst still... and no that is not fear mongering. That is just the way it is.

[Stock up on pallets of Triage Milk! Get that bunker radiation-ready! Nadin has warned you!]

Have a good day.

[THANK you, Nadin! We are SAFE now, now that you're back! I've got my lead-lined underwear on, I'm wearing one of those white breathing masks that all the Asians wear--I'm even BOILING my Triage Milk!]

Welcome back...

[DUmmie SidDithers welcomes back one of his favorite targets.]

I can't stand the way you were shouted down & abused

[DUmmie Catherina stands in SOLIDARITY with poor abused Nadin!]


[You can see it coming, can't you?]

Wow! I just don't know what to say.

[Don't worry, Nadin will tell you what to say.]

I see the unrecs out in full

[The haters, the stalkers, the BULLIES, ABUSING Our Nadin as she simply tries to protect us!]

I notice that some people still lack that honor and will continue to attack.

[Nadin responds to the bullying she has received AGAIN, already here on this thread! Where was it, btw? I must have missed it. But anyway, it's reaching the tipping point!]

The world honor is not just in the dictionary.

[Try the World Book.]

Goodbye. Enjoy the place. To the rest of you... save your blood pressure it is really not worth it.

[What?? No, don't LEAVE us, Nadin! Not again! We NEED you! Nuclear death clouds! Green glowing cows! Think of it: MILK, Nadin! Children's milk!]

Locking. Please do not call out other members of Democratic Underground.

[The Brzezinski Syndrome strikes again!]

Monday, March 28, 2011

Obama's speech? It's bombing in DUmmieland!

President Bush--sorry, President OBAMA has just finished his speech on the kinetic military action in Libya, and the early reviews are coming in. Obama's speech? It's bombing in DUmmieland! Too many are saying they've heard this speech before. Just substitute "Saddam" for "Qaddafi" and "Iraq" for "Libya," and Chimpy McBushitler could have given it.

But of course there are some Obama/Democrat Party loyalists trying to spin this thing so as to placate the DUmmies. Chief among the apologists is, as you would expect, William Rivers Pitt, aka Will the Shill, loyal party hack, who is starting to tiptoe carefully out of the seditiously silent shadows. But Wee Willie shows himself to be HIGH HYPOCRITE PITT! He was so anti-Bush and anti-War on Iraq now DEFENDS Obomber and his War on Libya! We see it here in this Pittiful THREAD, "He's not like Bush."

But, as I say, most DUmmies are not buying what Pitt and Obama are selling. And to get a flavor of that, we'll select from a number of threads, too many to link to.

So let us now see how many DUmmies will violate the No-Hypocrisy Zone and support Barack McSame, in Bushevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, always amused to see the DUmmie DUbble Standard, is in the [Barackets]:

He's not like Bush.

[High Hypocrite Pitt will now try to convince us--and maybe himself--that Obomber is not Bush.]

Every time I read the "Obama is like Bush" comparison here, it makes me wince. . . .

[Every time I read your Pittiful Will-the-Shill act, it makes me laugh.]

and it makes me think people may have forgotten what those eight years were really like.

[Eight years of you attacking Bush for what now you're letting Obomber get away with.]

He's not like Bush.

[OK, you've now said this TWICE, Will, so it must be true! What a compelling argument! I think you must have won over the DUmmies, Pied Piper Pitt! Let's find out . . .]

Obama speaks the English language better than Shrub. We don't have to hear "NOO-KU-LUHR."

[HUGE difference!]

he's worse than bush in a way. He's supposed to know better, he's a LAWYER and still he does this stuff. Its worse because he has taken our votes and then gone out of his way to kick us in the teeth, he and his surrogates. So, its your opinion and its no better than anyone else. You must have a stronger stomach than I do, Mr. Pitt.

[Oh, come on! Mr. Pitt just told you, "He's NOT like Bush"! Twice! And he's William Rivers Pitt!]

it makes me sick

[In the Pitt of my stomach.]

why in the world would anyone think he is like Bush?

[Oh, trading blood for oil, under the pretext of an "international coalition" removing a "brutal dictator," that sort of thing--you know the routine.]

There is a difference in leadership at the top--a cautiousness, a deliberateness. . . .

[Yes, I agree. Bush was MUCH more cautious and deliberate in going after Saddam.]

True. He's a bad president in his own unique way.

[Hee! Hee! Well, not much support there. Let's go to another thread . . .]

It's actually refreshing to see a COMPETANT speech on foreign policy

[It's actually IRANIC.]

Obama just nailed it.

[Obama just chalkboard-fingernailed it.]

So, let's see if I have this straight...The President gets pressure from all sides to do something about Ghaddafi. Then, when he does, in participating in the execution of U.N. Res. 1973, he is then ridiculed, chided, criticized, maligned for having done it to the point that he is being called on the carpet as if a child who has been naughty?

[LEAVE . . . BARACK . . . ALOOOONE!!!]

Psst. He's Black. Plenty of the pasty, fat white men in Washington are still pretty pissed off about that fact. In that they only have limited time in their busy schedules, they don't get the opportunity to attend as many Klan meetings to air their hatred of the black man who is our President.

[When your hand is failing, you can always play the Race Card.]

Gaddafi is kind of wacko after all. Any world leader who dresses like Michael Jackson did in the 80s is in need of some kind of help.

[Let's see . . . so Gaddafi is dressing like a black man trying to dress like a white woman. . . . I'm so confused! . . . Let's try another thread . . .]

"Our interests and values have been challenged in Libya." I understand Col Q is a bad guy. But how has he "challenged our interests and values"?

["Our interest and values" are OIL, Stinky The Clown! OIL! Black, crude OIL! "Our interest and values," my eye! This is Halliburton-speak, buckaroo! Follow the money!]

This is just sad, I can just hear Bush giving the same exact speech.

[No way! Bush's was about Saddam and Iraq!]

Why would I accept it from a Dem president if I am against this type of war mongering in principle?

[Look, this is kinetic-military-action-mongering!]

Do kittehs die?


blah, blah hypocrisy and lies blah blah.

[Obama's speech, the CliffsNotes version.]

Humanitarian? Dick Cheney's @ss.

[I take it you didn't like the speech.]

Obama's gettin' his war on, and those of us who don't like it should STFU

[MOVE . . . UNDER . . . THAT . . . BUS!]

At least the exit strategy was clearly defined....war is peace

[Oceania has always been at war with Libya.]

no explanation of which US security interests were threatened enough to necessitate intervention

[Security interests?? We don't need no stinkin' security interests!]

Can somebody explain the consistency of our foreign policy, and sum it all up in nutshell? . . . if some foreigner came up to me and asked me, what is the US' foreign policy regarding the use of military force, the only thing I could say is "Well, you're either with us or against us, unless you have weapons of mass destruction, whereupon, you're against, but if not, you're still a dictator, so you're against us, unless you're with us, because you're the devil we know, unless you're about to slaughter your own people, whereupon, you're against us, unless you keep the surrounding region stable and our interests intact,...."

[That's it in a NUtshell! And that's why Obama is not like Bush, of course!]

"Freedom Oil"

[The Bushobama Doctrine. So how come you guys aren't marching on Washington this time?]

I mean, nobody likes Khgaddaffyie or however you spell it. Well, I give up on the whole peace thing, . . . the U.S. is no longer going to stand by and watch injustice and oppression anywhere on the planet, so I'm expecting we'll start bombing a whole lot of other places pretty soon here. Bombing because we also don't want some protracted and costly ground invasion, so we need to enforce regime change from a stand-off position. Why can't we just nuke everyone from space? . . . F*** it, let's roll. Bomb everyone.

[Bomb bad people everywhere! Bomb for peace!]

It looked to me like he didn't even believe his own BS.

[BAD teleprompter!!]

You thought he wasn't a cowboy. he may have just proven you wrong.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Baracket busted again! The Curse of the Obamabino continues!

The Curse of the Obamabino continues! Last year, Barry O's picks fell by the wayside. This year, same thing! His Baracket has been busted! The O-Man went out on a limb and picked a Final Four of Ohio State (a #1 seed), Duke (another #1), Kansas (still another #1), and Florida (a #2 seed, risky call there, Barry). But the O-Man Omen does not BOde well! Barry's teams are now the Final Forgotten!

Let's see what the DUmmies have to say about the Marx Madness, here in this THREAD, "Sunday's NCAA Tournament Thread (Elite Eight)" and this THREAD, "Does anyone really care about the UK UNC game?" and this THREAD, "Who is going to win today's game- the Wildcats or the Tarheels?"

So let us follow the Road to the DU Lounge, where the remarx are in Down-in-the-Paint Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who usually roots for the team with the fewest tattoos, is in the . . . [Barackets], of course!

Sunday's NCAA Tournament Thread

[Most DUmmies would rather watch the CCCP Tournament.]

Sunday's NCAA Tournament Thread (Elite Eight)

["Elite Eight"?? Isn't that rather, well, elitist??]

Winners go to the Final Four.

[Unfair! EVERYBODY should go to the Final Four!]

Sh*t, thanks. Had no idea the games started yet.

[Put down the bong pipe, DUde, and get to a televison.]

They're early on Sunday so 60 Minutes starts close to 7:00 Eastern Time. CBS doesn't care about its Saturday prime-time line-up. None of the networks do.

[D*MN them! Corporatist pigs!]

VCU off to a pretty solid start

[VCU?? They're not on Obama's bracket!]

it's worth losing a bracket, I think, to see an 11 seed make the final four


Kansas creeping back in it.

[Of course. They're a #1, and the main thing is, The One picked them to win it all, so they've GOT to win!]

Oh, My!

[Is that you, franksolich?]


[Baracketology Made Easy.]

Holy upset Batman!!!

[Barack, Choke, Jayhawk!]


[Barry is deeply saddened.]

Does anyone really care about the UK UNC game?

[The United Kingdom is playing?? I'll take North Carolina. Brits are more into soccer.]

all of the energy is done

[Don't worry. Obomber will get some of that Libyan oil.]

I have less than zero clue what you're talking about

[That's never stopped a DUmmie before.]

why isn't the winter sport of basketball over with by now?

[Climate change. Bush's fault.]

What's "VCU"?

[Viet Cong University?]

Virginia Commonwealth University.

[Obama's new favorite team. I mean, come on: "Common wealth"? Marx Madness, bay-bee!]

Who is going to win today's game- the Wildcats or the Tarheels?

[Look, if you put a wildcat up against a tarheel, who SHOULD win? Why, a wildcat would rip the tar right off that heel!]

Should DU pull for Paul Wellstone's alma mater or Jim Bunning's? I have no idea who's going to win but no progressive could possibly root for Kentucky.

[Jim Bunning, from Kentucky, is a red-state Rethuglican. Wellstone is a DUmmieland saint who, apparently, attended UNC. That means DUmmieland must now be pulling for UNC. They're all wearing DU-UNC caps.]

I'm so confused.

[The state of mind at DUmmieland State.]

At that point of the day I will be emotionally spent as my frenetic controlled chaos VCU Rams will have already played. And hopefully won.

[They did. It was frenetic kinetic action.]

So the Final Four is set: Kentucky v. UConn and VCU v. Butler

[Duke, Florida, Ohio State, Kansas? GONE! Barried! The Curse of the Obamabino continues!]

- - - - -

CORRECTION: Obama went even more chalk than I said, in that he picked Pittsburgh, not Florida. That makes him even more of a LOSER, since Pitt--how appropriate!--went out right away. Obama went with all four #1 seeds, and they're all out!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Pied Piper Pitt Smoking Relapse

WOO! HOO! Let's all celebrate! WILLIAM RIVERS PITT has gone 100 days without smoking. I just knew you had the fortitude to pull it off, Will!


Has anyone noticed that with all the early hoopla by Pitt about quitting cigarettes that there hasn't been a self-promoting post by him on this topic since his Day 50 THREAD, "Fifty days. No smokes." So what does that tell us? It tells us that Pitt is back to sucking down the cancerous fumes again. Let us do some math to prove my point. Pitt's "Fifty Days, No Smokes" thread was posted on Jan. 19. Add 12 days to bring us to the end of that month and that would be 62 days. Add another 28 days for the month of February and that makes it 90 days. Then 10 more days at the beginning of the following month and that would bring us to the glorious day of March 10 when the Pittster would have gone ONE HUNDRED DAYS without smoking! Hallelujah! However, did you notice that March 10 has come and long since went without a word from Pitt on that significant landmark? Knowing Pitt's propensity towards braggadocio, this can only mean that Pitt has slinked back to smoking again and just wishes everybody won't notice that he was too WEAK to beat his nicotine addiction. Well, perhaps his fellow DUmmies have forgotten Wee Willie's very public no smoking pledge but we here at the DUmmie FUnnies haven't forgotten. In fact let us review some of Pitt's self-promotional avowals of swearing off cigarettes.

Only a little over a week before Pitt's last pronouncement about being smoke free we have this bit of a self-righteous THREAD January 11, "A message for all the Quitters in the Lounge." Here are some highlights from that thread:

A message for all the Quitters in the Lounge.

[Including for Pitt who QUIT his no-smoking pledge.]

My wife is on Day Nine...our old Lounge friend Matcom is on Day Ten...and I am on Day Forty-Two...which is SIX WEEKS for those of you playing along at home (and is The Answer for all you Douglas Adams fans out there).

[I don't know about Pitt's wife or DUmmmie Matcom but we do know that Pitt quit his quitting.]

Nine days. Ten days. Forty-two days.


[Ninety days. Ninety-one days. One hundred days. ...SMOKES!!!]

If she, he and I can do it, anyone can. Keep it up.

[Except you, Pitt. You couldn't. So be honest now and tell us what is was like to light up that first cigarette after all those weeks and suck those cancerous fumes deep into your lungs.]

Yes, it is time for Pitt to reveal to his fellow DUmmies that he just didn't have the strength of Will to really quit smoking. And an oatmeal cookie to the first DUmmie (or LFT) who dares to publicly ask Pitt how his no smoking pledge is going.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Hiding Hypocrite Pitt seditiously silent on Obama's War on Libya

Why so much war? Because war is a profitable enterprise. George W. Bush and his people can hold forth about the wonders of democracy and peace, and can condemn worldwide violence in solemn tones. Until the United States stops being the world's largest arms dealer, these words from our government absolutely reek of hypocrisy.
-- William Rivers Pitt

International best-selling author William Rivers Pitt prides himself on being the leading opponent of Bush's War on Iraq, right from the get-go. Early on, he wrote (with his buddy, Inspector Scott Ritter) an international best-selling book, War on Iraq: What Team Bush Doesn't Want You to Know. And then he wrote another international best-selling book, The Greatest Sedition Is Silence, in which he decried those who remained silent and did not speak out against the war. For his truth-outing efforts, speaking truth to power big-time, Mr. Pitt was even awarded his own baseball card (above) as one of the "Americans Who Tell the Truth."

So now that another U.S. President has taken to bombing another poor faraway country full of brown people, of course you can expect that Proud Pacifist Pitt will immediately take the lead in speaking out against Obama's War on Libya, right? Wrongo! Ever since Obomber started killing the women and children of Libya, Mr. Pitt has been strangely, suspiciously, SEDITIOUSLY SILENT! Pied Piper Pitt has become HIDING HYPOCRITE PITT!

Days and days have passed, and yet hardly a peep has come from the Pied Piper. He has been playing his cards close to the vest. One suspects he is wetting his finger and holding it in the air, to see which way the DUmmieland wind is blowing. The Pittster has posted a little bit over the last week, but not much, and what there's been has been noticeably non-committal. There have been lots and lots of threads on DU on the subject--others have spoken out vociferously against Obama's War, so it's not like there hasn't been the opportunity. For example, there is this
THREAD, "My, how DU has changed. Yay War!" But will Pitt take a stand?

Pitt has posted this
THREAD, "If Iraq and Afghanistan had not happened, how would you feel about this Libya action?" and this THREAD, "Juan Cole: Top 10 Accomplishments of the No-Fly Zone." But again, will Pitt take a stand and SPEAK OUT against Obama's War?

Willie, where do you stand?? {crickets chirping}

So let us listen listen very carefully, and maybe we might just hear a peep from Hiding Hypocrite Pitt, in Rivers of Blood Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, expecting Pitt to speak truth to power sometime in the next 24 business hours, is in the [brackets]:

My, how DU has changed. Yay War!

[Well, DUmmie Ripley, have no fear. You can be sure Proud Pacifist Pitt has not changed! Nosiree!]

When I signed up here 9 years ago the majority of members were not just against Bush but also against his policies which led to his ugly illegal wars based upon lies that made obvious profits for his Halliburton VP. Instead of ending either of the damned wars Obama is getting us involved in another one. More very expensive tax-payer funded weapons are fired. No doubt killing civilians as well as bad guys.

[Pied Piper Pitt, DUmmieland turns its lonely eyes to you! Will you lead the way for us in denouncing this evil, Bushlike war? We NEED you, William Rivers Pitt!]

[But first, DUmmie MedleyMisty chimes in . . .]

Okay, you know what? I am so freaking sick of this, of having my motives and my feelings and my ideas and my character insulted just because I think for a minute before going into full outrage mode. I was so completely against Afghanistan and Iraq. I knew they were both wrong and stupid and immoral and evil. I knew that, beyond a shadow of a doubt. . . . I know that randomly deciding to go and kill other living beings for fun and profit is the most wrong and evil thing you can do. You cannot imagine the depths of my emotions against both of those invasions and occupations. LIBYA IS DIFFERENT!!!!

[Yes, this time it's a DEMOCRAT President doing the bombing! DUmmie MedleyMisty, you greatly disappoint me! You sound like a closet WARMONGER! Oh, Pitt, please weigh in here and straighten your fellow DUmmie out! Show her how evil this senseless war is!]


[That's it?? +1?? You give a +1 to a post DEFENDING Barack McSame's War on Brown People?? How COULD you? Say it ain't so, Will! The Greatest Sedition Is SILENCE!]

[Well, Pitt finally did post a thread of his own on the bombing of Libya. I'm sure here he will speak out boldly!]

If Iraq and Afghanistan had not happened, how would you feel about this Libya action?

[Huh? That's a strange way to speak out boldly! It almost sounds like, like, you're trying to blame BUSH for "this Libya action"!]

Just curious.

[That's GOT to be a typo! I'm sure you meant "Just FURIOUS"! You're just furious about Obomber's unholy war!]

Still puzzling through my own feelings on this situation.

[Wha-aa?? YOU, of all people, "puzzling through" your "feelings" on "this situation"? That is SOOO unPitty!]

[Well, Pitt, all you did in that thread is dance your way AWAY from taking a stand!]

[We'll give you one more chance, Will. Let's see if you can redeem yourself . . .]

Juan Cole: Top 10 Accomplishments of the No-Fly Zone

[You excerpt someone else's "Mission Accomplished" puff-piece article about the successes of the no-fly zone, and THIS is your speaking-truth-to-power essay on the evils of Obama's War?? Sheesh!]

I Await The "Mission Accomplished" Banner

[I did NOT see this comment by DUmmie zorahopkins when I wrote my comment above!]

I eagerly await the "Mission Accomplished" Banner. The US is supporting a "liberation movement"? Or is the US simply trying to assure that civilians are not killed? Or is the US trying to oust Kaddafi? Or is the US after Libya's oil?

[DUmmie zorahopkins SEES THROUGH the hypocrisy of Will the Shill hiding behind a spin-cycle puff-piece he posts from somebody else! Pitt replies . . .]

Do you consider Libya and Iraq to be the same thing? Not asking to be a jerk. Genuinely curious.

[Genuinely HIDING!]

Libya is not Iraq. There was no clear and present justification for the invasion of Iraq in 2003; there was clear and present justification for UN action in Libya. . . .

[DUmmie Spider Jerusalem mounts a feeble defense of Warmonger Obomber and Hiding Hypocrite Pitt.]

As someone who has spent just about the last ten years fighting against the Iraq war, I am deeply appreciative of your comment.

[Will the Shill cites his bona fides of opposing wars waged by REPUBLICAN presidents named BUSH!]

Is it a war?

[William questions whether it is a "war." See, Rethuglican Bush has a "war." Democrat Obama has "this Libyan action" and the "Top 10 Accomplishments of the No-Fly Zone." But, Willie, won't the bombs feel the same, falling on those innocent brown people?]

It ain't a bar fight.

[DUmmie bluestate10 explains it for Bukowski Bouncer Pitt in terms he can understand.]

[Well, that's it from Seditiously Silent Pitt so far. But I'm sure that within 24 business hours, Our Boy will come to his senses and start SPEAKING TRUTH OUT TO POWER! Or not. William, I dub thee HIDING HYPOCRITE PITT, and I'm calling you out!]

Thursday, March 24, 2011

"Why is everything in the world right now so 'fouled' up?"

It was supposed to be the beginning of the New Age. Obamassiah had driven the snakes out of Washington, and the Democrats controlled both houses of Congress. The Lightworker was going to lead us out of the Bushian darkness and into the bright new world of Hopenchange. All the DUmmies were singing a happy song . . .

Tune: "Playground in My Mind"

When the bad guys get me down
And I must stay underground
I take some drugs and soon I find
I'm in a Prog Land in my mind
Where the DUmmies laugh
And the DUmmies play
And we smoke a bong all day

My name is Michael
I'm kinda mental
I'm kinda mental
I'm on DU
My mind will travel
When things unravel
That's what I'm gonna do

Oh, the wonders that I find
In the Prog Land in my mind
In a world that ought to be
Pop your pills and follow me
Where the DUmmies laugh
And the DUmmies play
And we smoke a bong all day

My name is Willie
We tax the wealthy
We're gonna take a
Trillion or two
We're gonna make 'em
Pay for our healthcare
That's what we're gonna do

See the litle DUmmies
Living in a world that is not confined
Happy little DUmmies
In the Prog Land in my mind

See the little DUmmies
See how they play so happy
In the Prog Land in my mind

La la la la la la . . .

But something FUnnie happened on the way to Nirvana. Things got worse. So now the DUmmies are whining and moaning and not knowing who to blame. Witness this
THREAD, "Why is everything in the world right now so f***ed up?" (I put "fouled" in the headline, but you know a DUmmie would really use another "F" word.)

It's the Daze of Whine and Poses in DUmmieland, where the free-floating angst is in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson--reporting that, in addition to all the other calamities in the world, DUmmie nadinbrzezinski, the world's foremost authority, has reached her tipping point and has fled DUmmieland, due to all the bullying and stalking she was getting, and is now hiding out in her bunker with her stockpiles of Triage Milk--is in the [brackets]:

Why is everything in the world right now so f***ed up?

[It's a plot--a PLOT, I tell you!--to make the Lightworker look bad!]

It has to do with molecules.

[It has to do with moles in DU.]

Most homo sapiens with power suck


Because certain people with lots of money want it that way

[The RICH! I knew it! The Rich are so EEEVIL!!!]

It's because the Daily Show and The Colbert Report were on hiatus last week. It never fails - they take a week off and the world goes to hell in a hand basket!

[What about Cenk? Wasn't he on? That should have stopped it.]

The Result of Pessimism, Cynicism, and Fascists in our Society

[You sound kind of pessimistic and cynical about this. Are you part of the solution or part of the problem?]

It has to do with planetary alignments

[Venus is aligned with Uranus, on top of a Supermoon.]

Corporations make more money this way.

Corporations controlling all of us and our planet

[Yes, class, that of course is the correct answer: CORPORATIONS. "Bush's Fault" is past its expiration date, so the fall-back all-purpose answer is "CORPORATIONS."]

Capitalism run amok.

[Even if you ran Capitalism mok, it would still be bad!]

Us. If you sent us out to f*** up, we'd f*** up on the way.

[Heretic! We are the ones we have been waiting for!]



SNAFU is military jargon and we're living it.

[DUFU is moletary jargon and we're loving it!]

religion, belief in deities. When people who can send spaceships out of the solar system and map the human genome still believe in omnipotent little old men sitting up in the clouds smiting some and blessing others we have serious problems.

[How someone could explore and ponder the solar system or a human genome and NOT believe that there MUST be a God who made all this--the irony is lost on this fool of a DUmmie.]

Its been there for a long time. It is just now being uncovered. It is painful, and hard to deal with.

[WHAT is, bobbolink? What is the answer?? You, you, can tell us, Bobo the Hobo, what is causing the world to be so f***ed up--and all you give us is this cryptic answer??]

Be gentle with yourself.

[AAARGH, TELL us, Bobo! Enlighten us! What is the answer? . . . Wait! Is that "it," Bobo? The world is so f***ed up because we are not being gentle with ourselves? . . . Oh, I am beginning to see! You are a regular Chauncey Gardiner!]

We use too much energy . . .

[. . . posting dumb threads on DU.]

Folks voting the wrong people into office. Folks not voting at all. Folks continuing to believe the hype machine.

[We're all folked up.]

Not enough roux

[The pot thickens.]

because life is full of f*** ups and good times-fleshed out with less extreem ones. We've been going through some pretty dark times. I'm sure that those who survived WWI, the influenza epidemic, the boom of the twenties followed by the great depression and then WWII thought things were pretty f***ed up too. wish I had the answer

[And that IS the right answer, it really is! DUmmie Bluerthanblue, I'm going to award you today's Kewpie Doll for your brilliant--although perhaps unintentionally brillant--answer!]

Califate. Califate, Califate, Califate, Califate, Califate, Califate, Califate, Califate, Califate, Califate, Califate, Califate,

[And the question is . . . What happens when death clouds from Japan waft over to San Diego and get in your milk?]

Too much cheap weed

[Things are all weed-weed up. But don't worry, I'm sure the price of weed will be going up soon, like everything else.]

Because there are republicans living on this planet.

[That's it! Send 'em all to Mars!]

Because Poppy and Babs begat a son named Junior. His eight year reign of error and terror destabilized the world. Not responsible for earthquakes, but that little son of a bitch set things in motion

[Oh, come on! You know the earthquakes are also . . . Bush's Fault!]

I wasn't anywhere around it. can't blame me, ya hear?

[DUmmie DearAbby has an alibi.]

The world has always been f***ed up. As long as people have been living in it.

[Solution: Get rid of the people, and this world will be a better place.]

i think, last decade and half, our world changed so hugely with internet and world connection and everything effects everybody. also it is all new, a huge ass experiment. in some areas it is kick ass. in some areas, not so kick ass.

[DUmmie seabeyond nails it. It is all hugely kick ass or not kick ass.]

I'm bet every civilization goes though a crazy period right after the Internet is invented

[Algore's fault.]

Because Repukes inhabit the Earth. Simple. Just think about how wonderful the world would be if they weren't here.

[Mars is too close! They might come back!]

Somehow, I suspect that it's Guy Lombardo's fault.

[That Guy. . . . But wasn't he a Canadian? Royal, I think.]

It all started when they broke up the phone company.

[All Bell broke loose.]

Bound to happen some time. Then it'll go peaceful, then crazy again.

[DUmmie HEyHEY looks at the Big Picture.]

Because next year is 2012 and the world will end. Bye.

[We're entering a Mayan field.]

Time. 2012. Return of the Great Ottus. Lucifer's Hammer. Chicken pox. The Supreme Court of The United States decided a federal election in 2000 that ripped the world a new asshole and his name was Dick Cheney. My money is on the last reason.

[Cheney Insanity Affliction (CIA) never goes out of style.]

Evil corporate-fascist, Mongol, baby eaters, hopped up on GM corn are designing union and innocent civilian-seeking missiles in their secret underground lairs under the icecaps and glaciers where they're also breeding giant mosquitoes that suck all the oil out the ground in harmless Arab nations and excrete radioactive clouds over playgrounds BLLLLAAARRRRRRR!!!!111!!!! CORPORATIONS!


Because cogent argument has been reduced to 5 second sound bites, with the word "f***" in them.

[That's DUmmie discourse in a NUtshell!]

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Scuba DU, We'll Call You!

Think of all the little DUmmies, sitting in their mother's basement, dreaming of doing something BIG for The Cause. Such an eager beaver (no offense, Li'l Beaver) is DUmmie Scuba. He has offered his services to Head DUmmie Skinner as a sort of volunteer technical consultant, and he's trying to enlist other DUmmies to sign on with him, as we see in this THREAD, "Dear Skinner, We the Undersigned DU Members..."

Love the enthusiasm, Scoobs! However, I'm not sure you've thought this thing through all that well. But then, that's what makes you a DUmmie! The DUmmies often do this sort of thing, get some grandiose plan--well, it's not thought out well enough to call it a "plan"--they get some wild idea and rush ahead with it, convinced it will help save the world, without first gaining the necessary popular support or having a well-defined strategy. (In other words, like Obomber attacking Libya.)

So let us see how far DUmmie Scuba gets with forming his volunteer technical corps. But hey, if this thing's gonna take off, it's got to have a NAME, a la the wildly successful "Democratic Underground Activist Corps" (DUAC). So what shall we call it? Hmmm . . . "Geeks Without Borders"? No, that would be GWB, and that would be bad. How about PUTA, "Progressive Underground Technical Activists"? No, these are more than mere "Activists". . . . Wait, I've got it! PUTZ, "Progressive Underground Technical Zealots"! Yeah, PUTZ, that's it!

Will Scuba's idea take off with a blast like DUAC? Or will The Powers That Be tell the self-appointed PUTZ, "Don't call us, Scuba DU, we'll call you"? The unfolding drama below will be in Techie-color Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wondering if PJ the snorkeler has ever gone SCUBA diving, is in the [brackets]:

Dear Skinner, We the Undersigned DU Members...

[Ooh, it looks like an open letter or an online petition! Addressed to Head DUmmie Skinner, no less! Let's read on . . .]

…certify ourselves to have competency . . .

[DUmmie Scuba is certified . . .]

…certify ourselves to have competency in project management, web development / hosting, or other technical skills . . .

[If you are looking for donations to DU, Skinner, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.]

and further, that we wish to apply these skills to help advance Progressive causes.

[We are PUTZ, Progressive Underground Technical Zealots!]

Therefore, we are prepared to volunteer hours to DU on an “as able” basis to help achieve the following . . .

[To achieve being an unnecessary, unwanted pain in the arse for the DUmmieland Troika of Skinner, EarlG, and Elad.]

Provide DU Members with auxiliary technical services to enhance the value of DU.

[I think you need to come up with a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL Detector.]

We are further committed to:

Coordinating our efforts with DU Moderators to ensure our efforts are consistent with the best interests of DU.

[In other words, pester Skinner, EarlG, and Elad.]

Signed (through replies)

[LOL! Scuba doesn't even HAVE anybody with him when he posts this dopey offer! The "Undersigned" are in his mind!]

Note to all from Scuba,

If this effort goes forward, I am offering my project management skills to help bring it to birth.

[Note to Scuba from all: Can you hear the crickets chirp?]

Should Skinner approve, I will begin collection of volunteers / skills info and coordinate the drafting of a Charter. I believe such group can function effectively under direction of a “steering committee”, made up of volunteers and DU Moderators.

[Ooh, a Charter and a "steering committee"! I'm impressed! Oh, wait, these things don't exist yet, do they? And, in point of fact, you don't have either approval or any volunteers yet either, is that correct?]

As for auxiliary services, I’m thinking of things like:

...unlimited, members-only picture and video hosting
...alerting and forwarding services
...a members-maintained wiki-like index / reference utility

[How about an alert service for stopping people with dopey ideas before they post them?]

As always, I welcome your thoughtful and reasoned replies.

[Well, you came to the wrong place for THAT!]

[So Scoobs has run his idea up the flagpole. Now let's see if anybody salutes . . .]

I am down with this

[DUmmie Vincardog diving in feet-first with Scuba!]

"advance Progressive causes" like what?

[Like being against the mad-bombing of some far-away nation by the Pres--no, wait, we're FOR that this time. . . .]

I saw a recent thread on the "litmus test" for progressives.

[1. Women's reproductive health choice to murder babies.
3. Universal health care for all, as long as I don't have to pay for it.
4. Hating Christians.
5. Punishing the rich.
6. White guilt.
7. Free everything.]

The only definitions I liked had to do with truth, science, and an engaged public.

[Speaking truth, science, and an engaged public TO POWER! (Hey, what about "justice" and "the American way"?)]

What is "alerting and forwarding services" ??

[I don't know, but it sounds good.]

Beats me. What do you want it to be?

[Scuba responds. He does not have a clue.]

Wasn't it your idea?

{Quit asking questions! You're hung up on details!]

I'm trying to stimulate ideas, not dictate what utilities are needed, but I can see a utility that alerts/forwards to me every post that includes the word "Wisconsin" or "poverty".

[Uh, Scuba, that's called "Search." DU already has one.]

I . . . do not use Facebook or Twitter. I suppose that will soon change if this is a go.

[Scuba, the self-appointed PUTZ, the self-certified technology maven, is not really "up" on all these newfangled gizmos.]

Way cool! Thanks!

[DUmmie bobbolink is a believer! Bobo the Hobo is down with this! She can do homeless technical advising from the back of her Buick!]

I don't think I'm down with this . . .

[DUmmie juajen is down ON this!]

I don't think I'm down with this, as I believe Skinner, Elad and others are very busy and this would make more work for them. I can appreciate your volunteering your services, but I honestly don't see the advantage.

[DUmmie juajen gets the Kewpie Doll, with special points for politeness!]

I would hope this would make their lives easier. If not it's DOA.

[It's DOA, Scoobs.]

I'm no good at any of those tech things listed in the OP

[Hey, that isn't stopping Scuba!]

nothing ever makes sense to me..

[The DUmmie Motto. Put it on their license plate frames. Engrave it on the archway over DUmmieland.]

some great ideas and a very generous, kind offer

[But. . . . I sense an unspoken "but."]

why would anyone unrec this?

[Because it's stupid? Just a thought.]

Its a trap.

[It's a brilliant PLOY by Scuba, to TAKE OVER DUmmieland! Gain technical access, sabotage the moderators' accounts, and RULE THE WORLD!]

Would it not have been far kinder to Skinner to have given him a chance to discuss this extremely generous offer in private communications before posting as a thread? Your "public" letter could very easily put him in the awkward and time consuming position of having to "publicly" decline your offer and explain why which might spawn even more questions etc. etc. etc.

[I'm very sorry, DUmmie Vinnie From Indy, but we have already awarded today's Kewpie Doll for a Brief Moment of Mental Clarity®. Sorry, play again next time!]

Locking...We appreciate the sentiment, but you'd do better to put this into the Ask the Admins forum as a place to start.

[Scuba DU, We'll Call You!]

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

"Liberal Democrats in Uproar over Libya Action"

Hmmm... The EVIL George W. Bush actually obtained congressional permission to enter Iraq after long debate. However, Barack Obama just instituted the No-Fly zone over Libya unilaterally with NO congressional consultation and this is what has many liberals and DUmmies in an uproar as you can see in this THREAD, "Liberal Democrats in Uproar over Libya Action." Of course, the time to have instituted a No-Fly zone was a couple of weeks ago when it would have been effective. Instead Obama dawdled and it may already be too late since Kadaffy's forces are already closing in on the last rebel stronghold of Benghazi. So let us now watch the DUmmies tear themselves apart over Obama's Libyan intervention in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that Obama did have an effective No-Fly zone when he destroyed a fly during a TV interview, is in the [barackets]:

Liberal Democrats in Uproar over Libya Action

[Include the DUmmies in that uproar group.]

WASHINGTON - A hard-core group of liberal House Democrats is questioning the constitutionality of U.S. missile strikes against Libya, with one lawmaker raising the prospect of impeachment during a Democratic Caucus conference call on Saturday.

[That was the old boss of the Pittster, Dennis Kookcinich raising the impeachment prospect.]

Reps. Jerrold Nadler (N.Y.), Donna Edwards (Md.), Mike Capuano (Mass.), Dennis Kucinich (Ohio), Maxine Waters (Calif.), Rob Andrews (N.J.), Sheila Jackson Lee (Texas), Barbara Lee (Calif.) and Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton (D.C.) “all strongly raised objections to the constitutionality of the president’s actions” during that call, said two Democratic lawmakers who took part.

And liberals fumed that Congress hadn’t been formally consulted before the attack and expressed concern that it would lead to a third U.S. war in the Muslim world.

[Now you know how the rest of the country felt about not being consulted as to exactly what was in ObamaCare.]

“They consulted the Arab League. They consulted the United Nations. They did not consult the United States Congress,” one Democrat lawmaker said of the White House. “They’re creating wreckage, and they can’t obviate that by saying there are no boots on the ground. … There aren’t boots on the ground; there are Tomahawks in the air.”

[We now enter the DUmmie Peanut Gallery...]

We're gonna need a bigger bus

[Say hello to Rev. Wright under that bus.]

Fear not! There is room for all under the Hopemobile!

[LOL! I need to steal that term in the future: Hopemobile.]

That's what happens when you allow a royal president to reign on a whim.

[So who did you vote for in 2008?]

Stop looking backwards!! Stop it!! Look forward! Look forward!

[Lean forward...and grab your socks.]

Has Kucinich lost his mind?

[Of course. He hired WILLIAM RIVERS PITT to be his press secretary, didn't he?]

The president has breached the constitution and must be impeached.

[So should he be impeached for ObamaCare?]

Congress SHOULD have been consulted, even if it meant postponing another vacation in Rio

[Wrong. Vacations come first.]

Wow, do they ever even read the passed bills that are in effect?

[Um... Have you ever heard of ObamaCare. As Nancy Pelosi said, we have to pass it in order to find out what's in it.]

Maybe if the Dems impeach him, Biden can do the right things. At least we could get home the message. the BO does not represent the FDR wing of the party.

[What a drop in status. From being The One to becoming The BO.]


[He is thinking about where to play his next round of golf.]

Saturday, March 19, 2011

"Libya, Obama's Baby"

Bombs away! Barack Obomber has launched an attack on Libya! And this has sent DUmmieland into shock and awe! Should they defend their Obamassiah? Or should they disown him? Is he just the new Dubya, Barack McSame, the new Destroyer of Worlds? The DUmp is abuzz with the sound of manic!

The whole board is filled with Obama-Libya threads right now. But we'll go with this
THREAD from DUmmie GSLevel9, "Meet the new Boss. Same as the old Boss."

But before we do, let's sing this song that captures the DUmmie Dilemma:

Tune: "Lydia, the Tattooed Lady"

Libya, oh, Libya
I don't mean Namibia
Libya, Obama's baby
He's a Bush, with thorns and thistles
When he sends in long-range missles

Libya, oh, Libya
Barack's just like Dubya
Dubya, the bane of DU!
We thought we'd have peace with Obama the Great
But he's a repeat of the bomber we hate
Is Cheney in charge at Defense or at State?
Déjà vu anew with Libya!

So will it be Barack McSame, or will there be a DUmmie DUbya DUbble Standard? Perhaps some of both. Let's find out. So now it's on to Operation Odyssey DUmb, in Baracket's Red Glare, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, loving to see the DUmmies squirm between Barack and a hard place, is in the [Barackets]:

Meet the new Boss. Same as the old Boss.

[Barack McSame, Destroyer of Worlds.]

Warmonger corporate tool.

[But, but, President Obama has won the Nobel PEACE PRIZE, for goodness' sake! He's a DEMOCRAT! Indeed, he's your OBAMASSIAH! Shouldn't unicorns be farting rainbows and sparkles by now?? Instead, they're launching Tomahawk cruise missles!]

In the case of Libya I believe you are wrong.

[See, what makes this different from Bush and Iraq is that . . . is that Khaddafi has violated numerous U.N. res-- uh, wait, no, hold on . . . is that Khaddafi has been brutalizing, I mean, BRUTALIZING, his own--no, wait, that won't work either. . . . Oil? Nope, don't want to go there. . . . I've got it! Weapons of Mass--no, shoot. . . . Well, it's different, let me just say that. Obama is one of us, and Bush is, well, Bush. So you're wrong.]

How about in the cases of Afghanistan and Iraq?


Ghadaffi is like, super evil. He's stepped up to Axis of Evil level now. We're gonna kick his ass like he was Saddam.

[I detect a note of sarcasm.]

like DR EVIL status?

[Worse! DEVIL status!]

Unrec, alert and laugh at your ignorance. In that order.

[How DARE you compare our beloved Prog President to Chimpy McHitler!]

the president, with this brief set of remarks, has crafted something of an Obama Doctrine for military intervention: The United States will join in a multilateral fight for democracy and humanitarian aims when it is in the nation's interest and when the locals are involved and desire US participation. In short, the Anti-Bush Doctrine.

[Which sounds suspiciously a lot like the Bush Doctrine.]

As annoyed as I am at times with POTUS, that is such an outrageous and false statement. I'm starting to hate this place...Flame

[DUmmie monmouth launches a missle strike on the OP, DUmmie GSLevel9!]

Deleted message. Message removed by moderator.

[The banning begins in five--no, the banning begins NOW!]

We're locking this thread. A consensus of moderator have decided that this post violates this rule ==> Disrespectful nicknames, crude insults, or right-wing smears against Democrats.

[Hee! Hee! Expect MANY more Barackophobia lockdowns in the daze to come!]

Friday, March 18, 2011

Know-it-all Nadin the Drama Queen is BACK!

Know-it-all Nadin is BACK! Back from where, you ask? Why, her self-imposed "break"! What, you say you missed it? You must have blinked. For DUmmie nadinbrzezinki's declared hiatus from posting did not even last 24 brzezness hours.

Let's back up a minute. Nadin had been posting away at her usual furious clip, giving us unenlightened ones the benefit of her superior yet unsolicited expert knowledge. The crisis this time was on how to prepare for the death clouds that will soon be wafting their way over from Japan to America, with the radiation finding its way into Elsie the Cow's teats. In view of this impending apocalypse, Nadin has been stocking up on pallets of Triage Milk, as per the suggestion of submarine commander Captain Nemo and nuclear engineer Homer Simpson. And she told "you people" to do likewise.

Well, Nadin's winsome ways somehow managed to alienate her fellow DUmmies ONCE AGAIN, and they let her have it, essentially DUFUing the All-Knowing One right there on DU itself! Since PJ and I both were too busy to get to it, our own DUFU Pingee, FReeper Choose Ye This Day, documented all the hilarity in this
THREAD, "Not-quite-DUmmie-FUnnies: The Brzezinski Syndrome."

But now we're past the cow-tipping point. When last we heard, the embattled Brzezinski announced she was taking a break from DUmmieland. In response, one of Nadin's few remaining loyalists posted this
THREAD, "Genuine appreciation for nadinbrzezinski thread," perhaps trying to persuade Nadin not to leave.

Well, it must have worked, because Nadin came roaring back, hours later, with this
THREAD, "Since a FEW here want to know the truth." Did Nadin learn from her mistakes and moderate her condescending style? With a thread title like "Since a FEW here want to know the truth," it does not sound promising. But let's find out.

Nadin is BACK, and DUmmie FUnnies has her! Nadin is back, and so is--for today, at least--your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who really does have a reason for taking a break. It's called "Lent"--or, as I like to call it "March Madness for Ministers" or "The Final Forty." But I've got some time today, so here goes. Bolshevik Red, [brackets], you know the drill:

Genuine appreciation for nadinbrzezinski thread.

[For all those not on Nadin's "Ignore" list, which means . . . oh, about two.]

Like most of us, I see her around quite a bit.

[Kind of like kudzu in the South.]

And she's different.

[DUmmie coti, I perceive that you are a diplomat.]

Where some repeat standard beliefs or slight variations thereof, nadin thinks past that.

[Nadin is far beyond us mere mortals.]

Keep it up, nadin.

[DUmmie FUnnies agrees! Keep it up, nadin!]

Indeed -- one of DU's distinct/unique voices...!

[She puts the "DU" in "Distinct/Unique"!]

Deleted sub-thread. Sub-thread removed by moderator.

[And so it begins. The Brzezinski Syndrome.]


[Nadin herself checks in! But, but, Nadin, I thought you were going on "break"??]

I love her clear, intelligent voice!

[CaliforniaPeggy is a Nadin fan!]

Love her posts, her wisdom and her posts about the nuclear-power-plant situation in Japan. She's got a kind spirit that really comes through the keyboard!

[Although, with all the video coming over from Japan, radiation WILL come through your keyboard and into your milk! This is WELL KNOWN!]

I'm not quite understanding all the negative reactions to her posts. . . . All the snark has me baffled.

[Other than the condescension, the lecturing, the erroneous information, the crisis-mongering, the trend-spotting, the "I'm puttin you on my iggy list," and the 500 posts a day, I don't see what the problem is!]

The wind is blowing across the Pacific.

[Hide your cows!]

Deleted message. Message removed by moderator.

[Not all are fans, it seems.]


[Well, that didn't last long. About as long as Nadin's "break." So let's go on to . . . THE RETURN OF NADINBRZEZINSKI!]

Since a FEW here want to know the truth

[Miss Congeniality is BACK, speaking truth to FEWER!]

here is very much a WORST CASE for the plant.

[Nadin KNOWS! She met a nuclear engineer in the grocry store! He was buying milk!]

Yesterday the numbers that Rachel showed for what is in the facility, what is at stake, is 1240 tonnes of material. No, not one reactor\pool, but between all of them. That is equivalent to 12 reactor cores.

[Ooh, look! Nadin said "tonnes" instead of "tons"! She must know what she's talking about!]

That be bad, as in real bad.

[Stock up! Triage milk by the pallet! Cheetos too!]

The BEST case right now is a partial meltdown and a relatively small release of radiation... (what we are seeing right now and yes it is relatively small still)

[Catch the "and yes." That is a distinctive Nadin touch.]

If any of you believes in prayer or a good... pray for this to end anywhere CLOSE to the best scenario. The worst case... is not something I can wrap my head around.

[THANKS, Nadin, oh, thank you! We would be DOOMED without YOU to guide our way!]

In the meantime my quake supplies are getting bought today.

[Quaker Oat Squares by the cord!]

The majority of DUers appear very committed to truth

[Nadin's thread title about the "FEW" didn't go over well with this first DUmmie.]

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Deleted message. Message removed by moderator.

[The Brzezinski Syndrome begins quickly.]

I'm on the West Coast. Seattle was very, very lucky after a 6.7 earthquake in February, 2001. . . . It's better to be safe than sorry, and we're going to be safe by making sure we have supplies on hand.

[This DUmmie thinks Nadin is talking about stocking up on supplies just for an earthquake. No! Nadin is worried about radiation coming over the ocean and getting into our cows! Stock up on MILK!]

We are only 1 month from anarchy. If the power goes out for any extended time there isn't enough emergency services to even scratch the surface... our civilization hangs by a thread. . . .

[Our Drama Queens hang out on a thread!]

Even if all life on the surface is destroyed, those who live underground will survive, and in time will adapt to fill the open niches above ground.

[There would be no shocking memories, and the prevailing emotion will be one of nostalgia for those left behind, combined with a spirit of bold curiosity for the adventure ahead!]

The local media has been reporting an increased probability of significant earthquake on the West Coast due to Sunday's Supermoon.

[The Supermoonbats then devolve into a debate on whether the moon can cause earthquakes. But let's get back to Nadin's point about the radiation in our milk. Milk, Mandrake. Children's milk!]

I'm with you, Nadin... appreciate your information on milk, etc. Actually, last Friday when I heard of the first explosion at the plant, I sent away for a 2 weeks' supply of potassium iodide for myself and my family. . . . Only later did I learn on DU, probably not necessary. But you know what? it never hurts to be prepared. Am now encouraging all of them to keep stocks of spirulina and miso soup on hand. . . .

[Get some NUtella while you're at it! 15 barrels!]

People can bray and laugh all they want. . . .

[Which they are doing! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!]

she don't want no ray of hope! the sustenance is tradegy and misery

[Nadin can find the gray cloud around every silver lining.]

If you are within 50 miles of a US Plant keep the Iodine in storage

[Know-it-all Nadin apparently means "Iodide," as in "Potassium Iodide" (which the health officials are warning against anyways), but our all-knowing expert writes "IODINE"! Nadin is encouraging people to go to Walgreen's and clear the shelves of regular old Iodine, the stuff you put on cuts!]

right there, possible harm could be done by encouraging people that may not need the iodide to deplete the supplies for those who do, encouraged by our resident expect on everything.

[That's our Nadin!]

Postassium iodide... iodide. Say it 10 times. Iodide. Iodine won't do sh*t.

[Picky, picky, picky. . . .]

Do you have a "Kick Me" sign taped on your back?

[Nadin has that knack!]

Do you ever stop fearmongering?

[Only to do trend-spotting.]

If you don't like her posts, why do you even open them?

Cause often times the responses are comedy gold. . . .

[COMEDY GOLD! Yes indeedee!]

The OP has been spreading or trying to spread panic on this subject and others for months if not years here claiming to be informed or somehow an authority on every subject under the moon.

[And Supermoon.]

The OP is stocking up on milk waiting on the end of the world. Excuse me if I find that utterly laughable.

[Udderly laughable!]

Do they have a total of 1240 tons of mateiral? Yes or no? Is 100 tons = 1 reactor core? Yes or no.

[Nadin battles back! She's speaking truth to NUCLEAR power!]


[I detect a note of sarcasm.]

I don't need you to find out what's going on. I don't need your endless condescending nonsense. I don't believe your purported experience as an EMS makes you ANY kind of an expert in this situation. oh and you seem to to have taken the shortest break from DU in DU history.

[Even PITT took longer walk-outs!]

This thread is better than the 'milk' one, but not as good as the 'GBCW for six hours' one.

[Even the DUmmies are now evaluating Nadin threads for their comedy value!]

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[I'm no Nadin, but I can spot a trend when I see one.]


[Hee! Hee!]

Locking. This just isn't going well at all.

[The Brzezinski Syndrome strikes again!]

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

DUmmies Go BERSERK Over Wisconsin Senate Vote

Freudenschade, baby!

Remember how a couple of weeks ago the DUmmies were proclaiming victory for the public employee unions in Wisconsin? Well, once again, their victory celebrations were premature since tonight the Wisconsin senate voted to ELIMINATE collective bargaining for public employee unions. As can be expected, the DUmmies have gone absolutely BERSERK over this as you can see in this THREAD, "The Wisconsin FULL SENATE passes anti-union bill 18-1 vote." So let us now watch the DUmmies eat crow once again in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, looking forward to much Drama Queen activity over the next few weeks, is in the [brackets]:

The Wisconsin FULL SENATE passes anti-union bill 18-1 vote

[And whose fault was it that all the Democrats were absent?]

Source: CNN's Breaking News Twitter feed


In 18-1 vote, Wis. Senate approves bill to strip public employees of collective bargaining rights

[So how does that Freudenschade "victory" champagne taste? And now on to the Drama Queen DUmmie reactions...]

Recall the bastards.

[So you want the Democrat senators recalled back to Wisconsin?]

Full Senate my f*cking ass! Not one Democratic Senator was there to cast a vote.

[Boo! Hoo! It was those EVIL Republicans who prevented the Democrats from returning to Wisconsin to vote.]

Time is coming. For a general strike.

[Except for the pizza delivery guys.]


[Huh? Didn't they actually KEEP their election promises?]

I just got this flash. I cannot believe this. I am in shock, feel sick to my stomach, the hairs on my arms are standing up.

[What? No thrill going up your leg?]

Its a trap to get the Democratic Senators to come back

[Hee! Hee!]

The real people are awake and angry, and they are not the propped up Koch Klan's faux astroturf people. This will be a fight and we will win, we have no choice but to win.

[You will keep "winning" just like Charlie Sheen has been "winning."]

I wish I had your optimism! I'm sick to my stomach and on the verge of balling my eyes out.

[If you need help, Ben Burch would love to be balling your eyes out.]

I have alot of vacation time - I may be headed to Nashville to help out in Tennessee.

[Most DUmmies are on a permanent vacation.]

Do you assume that something is unconstitutional just because you oppose it?

They've had this option since day one.

[A Kewpie Doll to this lousy Killjoy.]

they didn't change any rules, just changed the bill. they didnt need a quorum of 20 if they stripped out all financial aspects of the bill. This is what I was warning about two weeks ago and people said I was crazy to suggest it. I'm not surprised and neither should you be.

[Can I just lean back now and allow you to apply the chloroform hankie to my nose?]

Fitzgerald and the rest of the Repukes will suffer no repercussions for this.



[Are you in the mood to sing the Mr. Roger's song?]

Boycott WI products. Time we taught them a lesson and stop buying their cheese and other goods.

[No cheese on your pizzas.]


[Time to chant that communist song.]

This is it folks. GENERAL STRIKE! Let's show these rats who runs this country, big business, or WE THE PEOPLE!

[A call for a GENERAL STRIKE from a DUmmie who DOESN'T WORK.]

It's a trap Dems.....stay away...

[Hee! Hee! Yes, stay out of Wisconsin for the next 10 years.]

There is NO surprise in the wretchedness of Republicans there is no depth low enough for them to squat. There is no act too treacherous and riddled with lies that they cannot attempt.

[It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
A beautiful day for a neighbor,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?]

There will be repercussions. And I can only hope that they are far reaching and deeply destructive to the Republican Party in WI...and everywhere. They have shown a contempt and disregard for Democracy and America's workers EVERYWHERE. Government BY the people? Not to Republicans. And this cannot be permitted to stand.

[It's a neighborly day in this beautywood,
A neighborly day for a beauty,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?]

"Scum" is a compliment regarding these creatures. But name calling does nothing. FIGHT THEM. NEVER let up. Never let them sleep. Do not go silently into the night. FIGHT THEM. Every.way.we.can.

[I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you,
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.]

Strike!!! And don't f*ck around about it, run those picket lines the old school way, enough of this shit!!

[So let's make the most of this beautiful day,
Since we're together, we might as well say,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?]

I'd almost be willing to get a job in order to participate in A NATIONAL GENERAL STRIKE

[LOL! That is actually the FUnniest line on this entire thread. In fact, I put this into nomination for the DUmmie Post of the Year.]

Monday, March 07, 2011

"Lost in the supermarket": The Shaming of the Shebagger

The DUmmies are always eager to report and decry any instances of EEEvil management, particularly if it's a white male, oppressing poor downtrodden labor, especially if it's a woman or a minority--and an older woman is even better. So this THREAD, "Lost in the supermarket," is right up the DUmmies' alley. It tells the tale of a rude young manager chewing out an older bagging lady, right in front of DUmmie lapislzi, who witnessed it and was appalled.

Of course, DUmmie lapislzi may be fictionalizing or exaggerating what actually happened, and, like the other DUmmies who join in, may be jumping to huge conclusions withour knowing the full story. But, hey, that's what makes them DUmmies!

So let us grab our grocery carts and proceed to the checkout line, where we will now witness the Shaming of the Shebagger, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--an evil white male himself, but also, since today is my 58th birthday, getting older, which makes me less bad--is in the [brackets]:

Lost in the supermarket

[Lost in the supermarket: all sense of perspective]

...or, "Heartbreak in Hannaford's."

[Or, "Chekhov at the Checkout."]

I had a bunch of errands to run yesterday, including a supermarket run. I usually avoid the local Hannaford's (a New England based chain) because they're non-union. BUT. I had other stops to make in the same shopping center. BUT. They have the best produce, good prices, and the best local/organic food section around.

[No excuses! By patronizing this non-union store, you are a TRAITOR to the cause, a SCAB! I think we'll call you Traitor Joe!]

I'm at the checkout with my fairly sizable order--and of course, I eschew the self-checkouts for the human ones.

[Of course. The real reason is that you're too stupid to figure out how to use the self-checkout, but you'll cloak this inability as your choice to keep a worker employed. How noble of you.]

I have my reusable bags.

["Paper or plastic?" "Neither! I'm an environmentally conscious greenie, can't you tell?"]

An older lady (60s?) with an apron and a name badge takes my bags and starts bagging my groceries--very efficiently, I might add. She had a sunny and pleasant demeanor. . . .

[Our Prole hero. Can you see the plot starting to build? We await the entrance of the evil management type.]

Then, another kid (20s?), presumably the head cashier or store manager (I'd seen him at another register keying in an override, or some such), steps over.

[Boo! Hiss! Our villain enters, Simon Legrocery, twirling his moustache.]

"What time did you clock in, today, Pat?" he asked the bagging lady. "Ten," she replied. He wagged a finger at her. "It was 10:17, Pat."

[NOOO!!! How EEEvil!! Reprimand a tardy worker?? How could he DO such a thing???]

She began apologizing profusely. "What are we going to do about this, Pat?" he asked. "I'll make it up," she said, "you know, I've been staying later some nights." "That's part of the job," he said.

[Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP! HELP! She's being repressed!]

I had to blink back tears. Hard.

[DUmmie lapislzi, WEEPING for all oppressed workers everywhere! Even if they're late. Maybe chronically late, you don't know. And even if all they get is a mild reprimand and a wagged finger.]

As I made a note of the name on his badge. Hannaford's will be getting a letter.

[That'll show 'em!]

But that doesn't make me feel any better, because this is symptomatic of so much more. How our older people have to take menial jobs to make ends meet. How callous our disregard for our fellow workers. It was "young store manager who will move on in a year or so" against "lady who needs a job."

[Which you don't know. Maybe she just likes to get out of the house and do something. Or maybe the manager usually would reprimand in private, but slipped up this one time. But that wouldn't fit your Marxist melodrama, would it?]

No sense of solidarity.

[Store manager and shebagger, rising up TOGETHER, locking arms, standing tall against The Man, shoulder to shoulder, speaking TRUTH TO POWER!! YEEEAAAARRRGGHHH!!!]

And those strawberries? By the time I got them home, those foreign strawberries tasted like straw. I lost my appetite.

[Strawberries Failed For Meddler.]

You should have reamed him a new one right there. . . .

[The benburch approach.]

I think we ALL should write Hannaford's.


a very polite, "Excuse me, sir, may I speak to you for a moment?", take him aside and a quiet, "I think you are a rude little scumbag on a power trip and I should do the same thing to you that you just did to Pat but I have too much class, and I'm going to report your inexcusable rudeness to Corporate office" would have sufficed. . . .

[Of course, this didn't happen, but the tough talk sounds nice in an echo chamber.]

I would have let the @$$hole have it....and good

[Calm down, ben!]

Tape a thumb tack to your finger and squeeze the milk and juice containers.


we dont know what is going on. what if she is consistently late? . . . we really dont know what is happening with this employee, do we?

[Whaa-at?? She's LABOR, for goodness' sakes! And a WOMAN! How DARE you question her??]

Management, Ma'am, Is Best Presumed Guilty....

[DUmmie Default Mode.]

manager cant win, regardless of how he phrases. he dare to say something about employee being late, and HE is the bad guy. wtf? sounds like he tried to make it as nonoffensive as he could. . . .


i dont think it is a HUGE deal. that is all. yet.... you would think i am promoting the lashing of an employee.

[You're as bad as the store manager! To The Hague with the both of you!]

the entire purpose of putting a particular individual in charge of others is that person can effectively LEAD. anyone can BERATE!

[Anyone can BE LATE!]

Clearly, there is only one way to see it - my way/our way. We now have the embodiment of all evil in this young manager and he needs to spend at least an hour on the pillory with we, the self-righteous and perfect, heaping our derision upon him.

[Grab the tomatoes from the produce section!]

this has become a joke

[It's the DUmmie Way!]

there is/was a better way for the manager to handle this situation but in the big picture of workplace happenings this was relatively no big deal.

[And we put a Kewpie Doll in your bag!]

Happier story about older worker: Ralph's employee of the year. . . . she looked to be over 50, maybe nearer to 60.

[Probably 58, which is ANCIENT!]