Thursday, March 31, 2011

DUmmies Discuss Trader Joe's

I've often said that the best way to maintain your LFT status in DUmmieland is to build up your posts to the Magic 1000 by discussing non-political matters in the DUmmie Lounge. Currently they have a topic that is easy to get into on this THREAD, "Today, we went to Trader Joes for the first time." Yeah! I really miss Trader Joe's from my California days. Unfortunately we have NO Trader Joe's in South Florida but this thread would give me a great opportunity to indulge in some gastronomic nostalgia. However, I would probably also give myself away by taking the lead in showing the passive DUmmies how they could save a lot of money shopping at Trader Joe's. Since DUmmies are like the Eloi and just accept whatever economic fate hands them, any indication of actively doing something to lower your costs could expose one as a LFT.

Right NOW the DUmmies (and anyone else) can knock your Trader Joe's cost by over HALF. How? Let me explain:

First step is to sign up with GroupOn (it's FREE). Then head over to eBay and on their front page click on their offer of a $15 eBay Gift Card being sold for just $7 until midnight tonight. Once this eBay gift card is purchased, you can then use it to buy (SURPRISE!)a $15 Trader Joe's gift card for approximately $15. Since your $15 eBay Gift Card only costs $7, you were really able to buy the Trader Joe's Gift Card for over half off.

Of course, there are MANY other ways to save money via coupons at Trader Joe's which I shall reveal using my special skills as THE COUPON WHISPERER. So let us now join the DUmmies who are clueless on how to save money and watch them discuss Trader Joe's in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who continues to miss the great Asahi beer deals at Trader Joe's, is in the [brackets]:

Today, we went to Trader Joes for the first time

[Hey DUmmie! Could you tell me how much a six-pack of Asahi beer is selling for nowadays?]

Mrs. OBD thought it was expensive.

[And, of course, not a single thought from you or any other DUmmie on how to REDUCE those costs.]

I wan't sure I could see what all the fuss was about.

[The "fuss" is you can get some really good quality munchies and beer for very reasonable prices. Prices you can REDUCE even more if you had the slightest bit of economic sense which you don't.]

I like their vitamins, olive oils, and wines and nuts, and chocolates, and fresh fruits/veggies, and cookies, and frozen foods. And chips. And dairy. I guess I do like TJs.

[At the Trader Joe's St. Louis store near a certain LCMS Pastor, you can get Panda licorice for $2.49 for 7 oz. Why do I mention this? Because I once knew the Finnish guy, Tomi, who was married to the woman whose family owned Panda candy in Finland. Panda is considered the BEST candy in all of Scandinavia and their big specialty is licorice. If you think you've eaten licorice, you haven't. You have just eaten stuff with flavoring. Not REAL licorice which is very different. Anyway, Tomi, his wife, and I, once shared a booth at the Calle Ocho festival in Miami. They sold Panda candy (including licorice) and I sold sunglasses and sodas. The crowd went WILD over their candy, especially the licorice. They even sold special salted licorice that you are supposed to eat while drinking beer. Several weeks later (this was about 1997), my Finnish friend and his father, Hans, came over to my place and I showed them my computer. After surfing around a bit they asked to see the local Helsinki newspaper which I told them would probably be available online. When it came on the screen they asked which edition it was and I told them it was today's edition. At that moment, they told me they had to IMMEDIATELY go to an electronics store to buy a computer which they did. Okay so much for my Panda licorice nostalgia. But wait, there's MORE!!! You can also get a coupon for this GOURMET Panda licorice which is available in the Co-Op Advantage Coupon Book.
p.s. The downside to eating Panda licorice is that you will NEVER be satisfied with the fake licorice that is normally sold.]

TJ's is a great place to get olive oil, dried fruits, and nuts. I've also found good prices on some of the fresh fruit as well. Fresh flowers are also a good buy. I don't do the bulk of my shopping there, however.

[Wherever you do the bulk of your shopping, I am sure you are getting ripped off due to your utter lack of couponing skills.]

I find the prices about the same as my local grocery stores plus more healthy choices

[Plus it is just plain FUn to shop at Trader Joe's. Among their exotic breakfast items is McCann's Irish Oatmeal for which you can find the coupon HERE.]

Go to the cheese section. They have a sharp english cheddar with carmalized onions... It's like freakin crack.

[And I bet it never once occurred to this DUmmie that he could find a coupon for the Trader Joe's Finlandia (they seem to get a lot of products from Finland) sliced Swiss cheese (via Finland?) HERE. ]

Before we started roasting our own coffee, TJ's has the best for least. Pre-ground or use the grinder at the store.

[So if you buy that $15 eBay Gift Card for just $7, you can buy this $10 Trader Joe's Peppermint Coffee for, in effect, less than 5 bucks.]

just making out my shopping list for next trip.
Let's see...
bagels
chipolte hummus
horseradish hummus
falafel
crystallized ginger
and
Two Buck Chuck!

[I recently finished off a bottle of Two Buck Chuck delivered to me by a relative from the West Coast.]

I've never been one to enjoy grocery shopping - but at Trader's, I just feel better when I'm there. There's always good music playing (which definitely makes the experience kind of fun) and the people, staff and fellow shoppers, are almost always pleasant and friendly. It's one of the few times I go into a store (other a book store) where I actually feel better when I come out than when I go in.

[And I sure felt better when I used to go into Trader Joe's on hot summer afternoons and picked up ice cold six-packs of Asahi beer that sold for only $3.25 each (early 90s).]

I go there every couple weeks since it's the closest store with free-range, organic chicken and my husband still eats meat.

[I wonder what an Industrial Park chicken tastes like? I actually know of one. In fact I saw it yesterday when I visited some friends who work at an industrial park and have a chicken that roams around and provides them with eggs. Ironically the same place where I go on Fridays to get my jerk chicken fix.]

Trader Joe's orange juice, eggs, cheeses and their Tuscan Pane bread cost quite a bit less than similar products in our area grocery stores. Morningstar Farms veggie breakfast sausages are less expensive at Trader Joe's too. Of course grocery stores in the suburbs of Washington DC are pricier than in my former home state, New Jersey, so the price comparisons will vary depending on where you live.

[I don't want to depress this DUmmie by telling her that The Coupon Whisperer pays almost NOTHING for food. In fact The Coupon Whisperer will actually be PAID to "buy" stuff for the next few weeks but that's another story. One cashier even calls me the "guy who never spends more than $3 of his own money" no matter how much stuff I buy.]

I generally like TJ's, though I find their urban affectation very annoying. They refuse to open stores in smaller cities or towns for no reason I can easily discern. I'd have loved a TJ's around when I was in college, but their bias towards locating only in large cities or the suburbs of said large cities meant that the nearest TJ's was over three hours away.

[Yeah, like they're really going to open up a TJ's in Podunk Junction, Pop. 10. And before they do that I think they would be better off opening up a store SOMEWHERE in South Florida.]

3 Comments:

Blogger Beefeater said...

This is so typically condescending

It's one of the few times I go into a store (other a book store)

The only reason a DUmmy goes into a bookstore is to bury the tomes by conservative authors behind the untouched and dusty "liberal" books.

12:11 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"This is so typically condescending...The only reason a DUmmy goes into a bookstore is to bury the tomes by conservative authors behind the untouched and dusty "liberal" books." beefeater

See, here's the thing...you observe and identify a condescending comment then turn around and make one yourself without the slightest awareness that you've done so. An enthusiastic rush to hypocrisy.

You know, this smartly crafted stupidity is throwing a new light on 'intelligent design', don't you think? All of a sudden, it sort of makes sense.

12:15 AM  
Anonymous 98ZJUSMC said...

To be condescending, one side of the argument would have to be ridiculous. Let's guess which side. Hmmm?

3:30 AM  

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