Friday, October 29, 2010

Sincere DUmmies are waiting for the Great Pumpkin to arrive!



"It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Henrickson!" That's what DUmmie MinneapolisMatt would tell me, as he sits out in the pumpkin patch, waiting for the Great Progressive Pumpkin to arrive on Election Night. "Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see!"

The DUmmies have various coping mechanisms to deal with the approach of Tsunami Tuesday. One is to lash out with "F" bombs at Rethuglicans that aren't there, as we saw yesterday. Another tried-and-true coping mechanism is the "I BELIEEEEEEEEVE," Waiting-for-the-Great-Pumpkin, Freudenschadelicious optimism that we see in this
THREAD by MinneapolisMatt, "I *still* think we are going to keep both the House and Senate."

So let us take our places in DUmmieland's pumpkin patch and see all the "WELCOME GREAT PUMPKIN" signs, in Red Baron Red, while the reality-based commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charlie Henrickson, oozing sincerity from every pore, is in the [brackets]:

I *still* think we are going to keep both the House and Senate.

[I *still* think the Great Pumpkin is going to arrive!]

With all of this non-cell phone polling, gigantic Obama rallies, Stewart/Colbert this weekend, and the faux enthusiasm gap -vs- the complete and utter over-exposure of the tea baggers (as opposed to reality), I think we're in for a pleasant surprise.

[Yes, the Stewart/Colbert thingie, I almost forgot! Why, that's TOMORROW! THAT will be the thing that turns the tide! THE DAY WHEN EVERYTHING FINALLY CHANGED!]

WE WILL DO THIS!

[I BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!]

From your keyboard to God's eyes.

[Oh, PLEASE, dear Gaia, send us the Great Pumpkin! Oh please, oh please, oh PUH-LEEEEEEEZE!!! Can't you see how SINCERE we are???]

+1000

[+1,000,000!]

No Doubt!

[I DO believe, I DO believe, IDO IDO IDOOOOOOO!!!!!!!]

I feel good about the Senate. Not so good about the House.

[What? WHAT??? A DOUBTER in the pumpkin patch??? NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! You'll ruin EVERYTHING!!!]

I think all this tea bag party crap is all just media contrived. The usual 20% looneys will vote that way, the same 20% that still loved Bush and thought God placed him in the White House, and the same 20% that believe Sarah Palin could be president.

[Yes, YES! That's the old positive spirit! Yes, Democrats win with *80%* of the vote!! Teabaggers only 20.]

Me too. . . .

[Freudenschade, baby!!! Break out the champagne bottles! WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!]

Everybody vote as EARLY as you can. . . .

[Vote EARLY and vote OFTEN!]

I think the big shocker of the election will be ALASKA having TWO DEMOCRATIC senators!

[TWO? Why stop there? Alaska will have THREE Democrat senators! WHOO!]

I hope you are right, all evidence points otherwise. . . .

[Evidence, shmevidence! Who needs evidence?]

Don't be fooled by the political gains Republicans are expected to make in the midterm elections. The GOP is on the critical list. The wins it will score, possibly enough to give it control of the House of Representatives, will be short-lived.

[HA, Rethuglicans, go ahead and win, see if we care! If we lose, we win! . . . Oops! Did I say, "If we lose"?? . . . But, but, we're going to WIN! Yes, VICTORY, just around the corner! The Great Pumpkin WILL arrive! Do you hear me, Great Pumpkin? I wasn't doubting just there! I *do* believe in you, I really do!! Look, nothing but sincerity, as far as the eye can see!]

I like the way you think and I'd be thrilled if we were even a little bit surprised Tuesday.

[NO "IFS"!!! STOP IT, OR THE GREAT PUMPKIN WON'T COME!!]

I think we are going to keep both House and Senate. And if we do. . . .

["I think"?? "If we do"?? What IS this?? You're ruining the sincerity!]

I don't know you, MinneapolisMatt, but I love your optimism. . . .

[THANK you! We'll just sit here in this pumpkin patch, and you'll see the Great Pumpkin with your own eyes! It won't be long now. Just wait. The Great Pumpkin will appear, and we'll be waiting for him. . . .]

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anon 1:50 said...

Um.

Now that's just sad.

The pendulum of American politics swingeth Left and Right, and now...

It swingeth to the right.

If the winners are sage and wise, they will strike while the pendulum is on the rise and remove a lot of the reasons for making it descend and return to the dark and stupid side.

If not?

We will vote out the rest of the pendulum-suckers in 2012.

Hopefully the pendulum will rest right-of-center and only have to twitch a bit for the next century or so.

And 'Obama' will become a mild curse-word or something to scare the children with on Halloween.

9:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Dummies have nothing to worry about. In 24 business hours, the unwashed masses will come to appreciate all that the Democrats have done for them; and the Democrats will get their reward.

10:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I *still* think we are going to keep both the House and Senate.

Translation: "The acid is kicking in. Why can't I get a job?? I'm tripping muy ba$$s off. Fu$$ing Bush tax cuts."

10:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We have now eaten all the peanut butter cups I was planning to give to trick or treaters. I'm going to have to explain to the kids that I've redistributed the wealth.

Fortunately the comedians are in DC today restoring sanity, so everything should be all better by tomorrow. The Great Pumpkin is coming!

7:44 AM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

"tea baggers"

Can someone explain to me the reactionary leftist obsession with male genitalia?

9:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Can someone explain to me the reactionary leftist obsession with male genitalia?"

They're just angry and resentful because conservative women have cojones and they don't.

1:07 PM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

"Everybody vote as EARLY as you can."

That's right, early votes count more than afternoon or evening votes.

2:46 PM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

And if you SLAM the straight Republican lever over, then your vote carries more weight.

7:53 AM  
Anonymous Kirk Johnson said...

<< "tea baggers"

Can someone explain to me the reactionary leftist obsession with male genitalia? >>

Leftards enjoy sucking balls, hence their "teabaggee" status.

2:26 AM  

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