Monday, January 11, 2010

DUmmies Are GO!



When I was a kid, one of my favorite TV shows was the "Thunderbirds," a "Supermarionation" series about the Tracy family and their International Rescue team. There would be trouble somewhere in the world, and, from their secret island base, the IR crew would fire up their jets and rush to the rescue. "Thunderbirds Are GO!"

That picture came to my mind when I read this
THREAD from Pied Piper Pitt, in which he issues the "Go" order to his DU crew. "DUmmies Are GO!" I think Pitt fancies himself as Jeff Tracy or Scott Tracy, or maybe as Brains--perhaps even as Lady Penelope--giving the order and sending out his team to rush to the rescue.

So let us intercept the communication from Skin's Island, in Soyuz Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets], as we prepare for take-off in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

Go

[DUmmies Are GO!]

I've been writing about unbelievably bad news for more than a decade now. . . .

[I've been writing unbelievably bad about news for more than a decade now. . . .]

so when the New Year came around this time, I made up my mind to try and come up with something to write about that was optimistic, positive, more upbeat, or something.

[Just a guess, but I'm thinking we'll file this one under "or something."]

It's all been so grim for so long now, with recent events providing no exception - a less-than-half-a-loaf health care "reform" process, underwear bombers and a new nascent war in Yemen, the Afghan escalation, more suicide attacks in Iraq, bad housing stats, bankers running banking "reform" and a bunch of Congressional Democrats whose imminent retirement could put Congress back in the hands of the people who lined up behind George W. Bush like ducks on a pond, which matters less thanks to the stark level of spinelessness evinced by those aforementioned Democrats and their ilk - and the first chore I gave myself after the holidays was to turn that frown upside down.

[Turn that frown upside down, and run that sentence into endless.]

Ha. The term "blood from a stone" leaps nimbly to mind.

[Hee! The term "blog from the stoned" leaps nimbly to mind.]

No soap.

[DUmmies Are BO!]

A lot of the air has gone out of the hope and change balloon. . . .

[Balloon Boy Barack is hiding in the attic.]

A lot of people seem to be stuck in the mud these days. . . .

[Blood, stone, soap, balloon, mud--Pitt never metaphor he didn't like.]

But then I remembered something.

[After sleeping off another bender at Bukowski's.]

George W. Bush's Iraq debacle was still five months away from becoming a reality in October of 2002, but that didn't stop the Left from organizing one of the largest and most important antiwar protests in American history. Washington, DC, San Francisco, and cities all across the nation saw hundreds of thousands of people take to the streets on October 26 to stop a war that hadn't even started yet. I saw it. I was there.

[The Day When Everything Finally Changed!]

In February of 2003, one month before the start of the Iraq war, the single largest protest in the history of humanity took place. . . . The war happened anyway, because nothing short of God Herself denouncing Bush from the Capitol Dome was going to stop the damned thing, but what the Left accomplished before the war even started beggars likeness. I saw it. I was there.

[The Day When Everything Finally Changed, Even Though It Didn't Change Anything.]

The Left has a reputation, partially deserved, for being a motley collection of scatterbrained, cause-of-the-week, ego junkies who never really get anything done.

[William Rivers Pitt, are you vying for a Kewpie Doll?]

But I saw what the Left was able to do . . .

[. . . mainly because of me. I saw it. I was there.]

So, here's what I think: do it again.

[Just DU it!]

If you're disappointed in Mr. Obama, go back to your anti-Bush roots and put together some concerted activism.

[DUAC! DUAC!]

Organize a protest, or a letter-writing campaign or . . .

[A Letter To The Editor! That's it! Preferably by e-mail, so we don't have to go out into the cold.]

Raise money. . . .

[We're only $10 away from . . . something.]

If you support Mr. Obama and the Democrats, get back on your '08 horse and ride to the rescue. . . .

[Or get in your International Rescue jet! Thunderbirds Are GO!]

The Left has done some truly amazing things in the last ten years, things that took great effort, concentration, passion and will.

[Especially Will.]

As Congressman Dennis Kucinich said many times, you are the one you've been waiting for. He was right. I saw it. I was there.

[You were there alright, Will. You were there BETRAYING Kookie Kucinich as his "press secretary," while secretly pining for the Kerry candidacy!]

Go.

[DUmmies Are GO! . . . Now let's hear from the Tracy boys in their cockpits . . .]

if your call to "go" is ignored in favor of pouting and whining and berating each other instead of fighting together for what one believes. . . .

[I'd bank on the pouting and whining and berating.]

Solidarity. Power to the people.

[Right on, right on. Speak truth to power.]

R E C O M M E N D ! !

[ L E T S P R E T E N D ! ! ]

K&R (Dude can flat-out f***ing write!)

[Dude! Writing! That is like so freaking AWESOME!]

No surprise how quickly your thread dropped...I was hoping that I was wrong and that many on DU actualy wanted to do more than focus on the negative and the drama. . . .

[No, that would require effort.]

Kick

[Pitt has to kick his own thread.]

'Raise money' my ass. We shouldn't give these corporate-whoring bloodsucking leeches a single dime. We'll be busy enough 'raising money' to pay MANDATED insurance industry extortion payments. Up theirs!

[Hee! Hee! Loyal party hack Pitt gets TOLD OFF!!]

Um. I was thinking people should raise money for groups like Progressive Democrats of America, outsider left-leaning congressional candidates or (dare I say it) publications like truthout. I do appreciate your sentiment, tho.

[Pitt in CYA mode. And (dare I say it) "help pay my bar bills" mode, since Pitt wrote this as a truthout piece.]

We WERE there, my dear Will...

[DUmmie CaliforniaPeggy has this "thang" for her "dear Will." She must be in denial about Pitt getting hitched.]

These UnRec junkies have got to go.

[UnRec Junkies Are GO!]

I was hoping you were making the case for DUers to learn to play Go.

[Sorry!]

You speak the truth.

[To power!]

Wow.

[Sham Wow.]

we better gird up, folks.

[Joe Biden does a loin check.]

If I can, I plan to go to tea parties, and counter-protest. We should all try to do SOMETHING.

[Even if it's stupid and useless, do SOMETHING!]

Thank you Will. . . . You were my hero when I joined DU. . . .

[Oh, Will! My hero!]

Will, we need a new Poor People's March. . . .

[Will will head up the Poor Writers' March.]

Sunday kick. Now I have to "Go" and watch the Pats beat the Ravens. ...hope hope hope...

[Sorry, Will, the Patriot Act didn't go over so well. Nope, nope, nope.]

As A Liberal & A Boomer, I Say... Let's UNITE Again! I Have No Idea how to get anything off the ground. . . .

[Good, you're perfect.]

There must be people here who have the "know how" to get "something" started!

["No," there "aren't."]

See I told you William. You are Important ... look what you did with this article.

[You've provided yet another DUFU! Thanx!]

32 Comments:

Anonymous Kirk Johnson said...

I was hoping you were making the case for DUers to learn to play Go.

[Sorry!]


ROFLMAO! Dude can flat-out f***ing Fisk!

6:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what up fellow stone thrower

clack clack

6:33 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"When I was a kid, one of my favorite TV shows was the "Thunderbirds," a "Supermarionation" series about the Tracy family and their International Rescue team." PJinc

Bet you loved "Team America" for different and yet strangely identical reasons.

Anyway, "Thunderbirds" was lame. Or maybe one of you could make me, the mighty troglaman, believe in the puppet-driven message. Good luck.

11:40 PM  
Anonymous 98ZJUSMC said...

Awwww.

Somebody yank Trogladyte's Fruit of Kaboom's?

Team America was fucking hilarious, rockhead.

9:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, troggy boy, what's your point?

Skul

9:10 AM  
Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

Why, Trog? It's not like any of us care what you think about anything, you're too contrarian to even be a reliable indicator of 'Wrong.'

9:21 AM  
Anonymous James Mcenanly said...

So, who is pulling their strings?

9:43 AM  
Anonymous Corona said...

I remember the Thunderbirds. I even won one of their toy rockets as a prize at a bazaar. But I still watched Astroboy more often.

10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will "Look how nice I'm writing, Ma!" Pitt.

Someone help me out here. I can't quite put my finger on what makes Pitt's writing, well, the pits.

It's a vague dislike, not always for the content, but for the style. But what style is it?

Is there a word for it? Someone give me some adjectives.

11:20 AM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

"Anyway, "Thunderbirds" was lame. Or maybe one of you could make me, the mighty troglaman, believe in the puppet-driven message. Good luck."

But.....but.....but......

paper mache heads of George Bush as Hitler were game breakers, right trogdolyte?

11:30 AM  
Blogger Tazzerman said...

Once again, Troggy drives the train off the tracks. Never fails.

Besides, the Thunderbirds WERE lame but that was part of their 'charm'... LOL

I LOVE this hyperboly:

"the single largest protest in the history of humanity took place"

Yeah right Pitt. The LARGEST. OMFG! Can he write or WHAT? -tm

12:08 PM  
Anonymous Kirk Johnson said...

<< Coin a new word for this style, perhaps? Anything based on 'Pitt' might come out sounding too close to 'Pithy,' which would be horrifyingly off the mark. Perhaps we should refer to it as 'Bukowskian,' after the wellspring of so much of it. >>

"Pittronizing"? "Pittentious"?

Perhaps downright "Pittiful"?

3:38 PM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

Troggy,

"Anyway 'Thundebirds' was lame."

That's your inner homo speaking, I bet you watched "Clutch Cargo".

3:39 PM  
Anonymous Corona said...

Oh, don't be dissing the Clutch, man. One of the funniest ways to psychologically scar young kids.

4:07 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Awwww. Somebody yank Trogladyte's Fruit of Kaboom's? Team America was fucking hilarious, rockhead. 98ZJUSMC

Did I say it wasn't, jarhead? No. As a matter of fact, the sex scene, featuring the hot-plate, was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I loved the whole thing.

However, watching the Thunderbirds, in comparison, is like going to puppet church (for skul - this is the point). And PJinc liked that aspect. Rescuing little puppets in space and all that. That's what he liked - supermarionation of puppets rescuing other puppets in space.

Hmmm. For those of you so inclined, this is a Freudian meat-fest.

There you go...that's the point. Nothing more, nothing less.

But I swear to God PJ's the only blogger on the face of the earth to admit to vaguely learning a lesson in morality from the Thunderbirds.

Bravo. I mean it.

1:09 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"That's your inner homo speaking, I bet you watched "Clutch Cargo". elrond

How friggin funny. I DID watch Clutch Cargo and was always mildly disturbed by the moving lips. Weren't you? Nothing in the frame moved except the lips.

I, troglaman, thank you for the memory. Pretty fucking funny.

1:19 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"...paper mache heads of George Bush as Hitler were game breakers, right trogdolyte?" Laz

What a fucking dumbshit. Is this your bar, laz? Signs? Paper mache heads? Is this where you want to set the level? Because I can site link after link after link of teabagger signs depicting Obama as Hitler...the Joker...a tribal witch doctor, etc.

You're a fucking hypocrite, laz. If you already don't know that, then you're, without a doubt, a dumbass. Big time dumbass. Dumbass without peer. Shining dumbass. A blinding explosion of moronic dumbass.

Keep it up, my friend.

1:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Troggy, you still failed to make a valid point.
Try again.

"Someone give me some adjectives."
Discomboobliated


Skul

9:58 AM  
Anonymous Shambhala said...

Heh.
If you watched Clutch Cargo, you must remember Space Angel. Same thing: weird moving lips. My inner homo wanted to be like him.

11:08 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Troggy, you still failed to make a valid point. Try again." skul

No. Have your helper monkey type something other than "what's your point?". Then we'll talk.

"Oh the humanity! Those mean teabaggers picking on Obama! Waaah!" elrond

I, troglaman, did not introduce this argument. Here's a reminder:

"...paper mache heads of George Bush as Hitler were game breakers, right trogdolyte?" laz

laz was whining about being picked on, not me. Go after his ass, elrond, you pussy. (you won't)

Don't you think that condemning 'Bush is Hitler' means condemning 'Obama is Hitler'?

If not, why? (you won't say)

Once again, you Einsteins are employing pretzel logic. None of it makes sense.

This is one of those threads where none of you want to say what you're actually thinking. You're being careful.

You know I'm right.

1:38 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Heh. If you watched Clutch Cargo, you must remember Space Angel. Same thing: weird moving lips. My inner homo wanted to be like him." sham

Exactly!! Though part of me was creeped out, I couldn't help but thinking about those deeply expressive, yet forbidden mouths.

sham deserves a little cred for acknowledging his inner homo.

1:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Troggy boy, you failed again. You haven't a thing to say.
Still no valid points to your whiney little snivels.
Trying to run away?
One more time, troggy. Try aagin little lad.

Skul

10:24 AM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

"This is one of those threads where none of you want to say what you're actually thinking."

If we said what we actually thought about you, your head would explode.

2:06 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"If we said what we actually thought about you, your head would explode." kat (claiming you dunderbums have the superhuman ability to explode heads)

Hasn't worked yet.

But I understand you to be saying that you have YET TO UNLEASH this incredible power. And I, troglaman, may be only moments away from a horrifying head explosion.

I, the brave and mighty (attractively humble) troglaman, am willing to offer myself as a sacrifice. The rest of the world must know of your evil, ill-gotten head exploding powers. Ever see "Scanners"? If I remember, the head-exploders got theirs in the end. If they didn't, they should've because they were assholes.

Take heed, kat. I've made certain arrangements that will assure the people of the world know ALL about you and your mutant minions should I expire...think about it.

In any case...I, troglaman, chin held high, await your stinking laser beam brain powers, kat. I'm ready.

(I'll try to periodically liveblog my struggles in this epic battle of good and evil)

2:35 AM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

troggy,

I think your head exploded years ago. Probably in the 60s when you lit your first joint or dropped that tab of acid at a Grateful Dead concert. Or maybe it was the Clutch Cargo cartoons with those disturbing (yet alluring) lips.

I was a Rocky and Bullwinkle fan myself, although I was too young to understand the interspecies relationship.

3:35 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

*EPIC BATTLE OF GOOD AND EVIL LIVE BLOG UPDATE*

I, troglaman, have a slight headache which is, as I would've predicted, kat's clumsy attempt to probe my psychic defenses.

Better luck next time, kat.

1:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*EPIC BATTLE OF GOOD AND EVIL LIVE BLOG UPDATE*


I'm pretty sure kat attacked my gastric processes today. That's right, I had loose stool.

You know, I think it's pretty fucking cowardly to go after a guy's gastric processes.

However, the mighty troglaman, will carry on. Juicy stools are fucking child's play, kat. Hit me with your best shot.

11:55 PM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

trog,

You've confused your gastric processes with your mental processes, although the end result is the same.

6:12 PM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

I'm learning more about your personal life and bowel habits than I really want to know.

10:34 PM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

Better wrap some duct tape around that swollen noggin troggy. I foresee a violent episode of
explosive cranium. Rent "Scanners" for reference.

"diarehhea"? That's not even close.

10:04 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"diarehhea"? That's not even close." kat

I know. No google toolbar + spell check. I won't bore you with the virus/malware details...wait a minute...goddamn it kat.

Have you no honor? Maybe you could've said, right up front, that you're going to fuck up my gastric processes AND my goddamn computer...ALONG with my EXPLODING HEAD. But nooooo.

By the way, thanks for turning one of my nostrils inside-out during the staff meeting today. You're a real peach.

"Rent "Scanners" for reference." kat

Yes. Scanners.

As I, troglaman, stated previously..."Ever see "Scanners"? If I remember, the head-exploders got theirs in the end. If they didn't, they should've because they were assholes."

See kat? I read your mind.

3:02 AM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

"See kat? I read your mind."

If only you did, you'd be a better man---or at least a better troglaman.

9:54 PM  

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