Saturday, October 03, 2009

"Obama (That Bumblin' Clown)" Loses Olympics for Chicago




President Obama, I come from Chicago. I was born in Chicago. Chicago was where I grew up. Mr. President, you are not a Chicagoan.

Yes, it's true. I, Charles Henrickson, was born and raised in Chicago, in the city. I was that rarest of creatures there--a registered Republican. And I love my hometown. Even as I detest the corrupt Democratic machine that runs it. The Chicago I grew up in, the Chicago of Hizzoner da Mare, was corrupt, yes. But the Chicago of today, under da Mare's kid, Richie, is both corrupt and radically leftist, fostering the likes of an outsider community organizer named Barack Obama.

The Kenyan-Indonesian-Hawaiian is not a true Chicagoan. And he's not a very good pitchman, either. Competing to host the 2016 Olympics, Team Obama (Barry, Michelle, Oprah, and Richie) could not even muster a bronze medal, finishing fourth out of four to Tokyo, Madrid, and Rio de Janeiro.

What do the DUmmies have to say about the Denamrk Debacle? We'll find out, in this
THREAD, "Chicago eliminated from 2016 Olympics bid."

But before we do, let's mount the podium and sing along, in honor of Team Obama's last-place finish:

OBAMA (THAT BUMBLIN' CLOWN)
Tune: "Chicago (That Toddlin' Town)"

Obama, Obama, that bumblin' clown
Obama, Obama, he will fumble around--and flub it
Bet your teleprompter he'll lose the games for Chicago, Chicago
So bad that Oprah Winfrey will have to frown

Olympics are slim picks, when Barry's your shill
You do things like lose out to Brazil
He had the task, Chicago to sell
I had to laugh, he came with Michelle
O Chicago, Obama let you down!

Obama, Obama, that bumblin' clown
Obama, Obama, he'll fumble around--and flub it
Bet your teleprompter he'll lose the games for Chicago, Chicago
So bad that Oprah Winfrey will have to frown

Olympics are slim picks, when Barry's your shill
You do things like losing out to Brazil--still
He had the task, Chicago to sell
I had to laugh when he came with Michelle
O Chicago, Obama--Obama sure let you down!

Now let's go to the DUmmieland venue, where the favorite event is Synchronized Swearing, and read the DUmmie comments, in Rationalization Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, native Chicagoan and the wag tailoring the doggerel, is in the [Barackets]:

Chicago eliminated from 2016 Olympics bid.

[The agony of defeat.]

Knocked out of the first round of voting

[Could not round up enough dead voters.]

At least Brazil will be saddled with the monetary problems, not the US.

[Let the rationalizations begin!]

Chicago would have become a living hell of Daley crony land-grabs

[So what would be different?]

Bread and Circuses are not really needed here.

[Graft and Patronage are!]

would any of the real problems of the city been dealt with till after 2016? At least now citizens of the city can ask real questions and hope they might be answered. If Chicago had gotten the games, everything would have been cheerfully ignored for the good of the games.

[See, Barack WANTED Chicago to lose! It's for the best!]

he can't compete with all those pretty ladies of carnival. He is cool. He is smart. He is charming. He is not a busty chorus line in nothing but feathers.

[Maybe if Oprah and Michelle had worn nothing but feathers, it would have helped. . . . Or not.]

In the eyes of the world America still has the stink of an unnecessary war, torture, and the instigation of a worldwide recession on it despite Obama's efforts to rebuild its image.

[Bush's fault! Of course!]

ESPN Radio didn't miss a beat. Colin Cowherd: "Rough month for Obama. First health care, now this." This must be why KO left sports broadcasting.

[Colin Cowherd is the Worst Person in the World.]

I'm sick to my stomach about it. . . .

[Barf Alert!]

Every other leader went. If he didn't Chicago would have lost for sure.

[Instead, with Obama leading the way, they came in last.]

Our Prez tried.

[Give him a ribbon for participation.]

one positive aspect to this lost bid. Americans are largely ignorant of the horrible time foreigners are given entering the U.S.

[Now we can be ready for all the foreigners who won't be entering here in 2016.]

I think this was a deserved rebuke. The President shouldn't have gotten involved.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Way to go Obama. Another loss...a very avoidable one.

[It's a Troll Triathlon!]

Perhaps we are not so popular anymore? Even the world's best propagandists can't hide the disgusting truth about our criminal activities forever.

[Are you referring to the Daley Machine?]

There's nothing disgusting about the U.S. I love my country, and it is the best in the world. . . .

[From worst to first, in nine short months--thanx to Obamassiah!]

I'm amazed at how many thought Chicago was a foregone conclusion. Why? Because we're the United States, and everything is ours by right? Those days are gone.

[Hooray! Down with America! Viva Obama!]

The Republicans wanted him to fail. They are to blame. . . .

[Yes! Yes! Blame the Republicans! Blame them for everything! BAAAD Rethuglicans!]

errrrr . . . yeah I dont think the ioc is controlled by the gop

[SHHH!!! QUIET!!!]

the republicans wanted him to fail and they succeeded

[It's Rovian Mind-Control!]

Obama is not to blame for the IOC choice of Rio. . . . What Obama IS to blame for is acting like a Mayor instead of the POTUS, putting the personal prestige of the Presidency on the line without having sewn everything up in advance. His fault. Not Repugs, or RWers, or Beck, or Pelosi, or Reid, or any other scapegoats. HIS fault, for squandering political capital on a trivial matter. . . What will wavering Blue Dogs make of him now? Who will follow his lead and go out on a limb for him? And he has nobody to blame but himself. Olympic-sized fail.

[EPIC Fail! And the Gold Kewpie Doll goes to you, DUmmie rayofreason!]

Chicago's not all that. I mean, it's a nice city, has a lot going for it, but if Obama wasn't from there it would never have been as much in the running as it was. It's no Rio.

[Thanx to Obama--who, btw, is NOT "from there"--Chicago lost out to a city with an even WORSE crime rate!]

Now Obama can get back to promoting something that would REALLY benefit all Americans. . . .

[Like resigning?]

This Olympics nonsense is a dumb diversion. I voted for Obama hoping for health care reform and and end to the wars. In my book, he's zero for two.

[Zero possumus!]

It's time to let someone else have the limelight. Go Rio!!!!

[That's Rio de Janeiro, for those of you in Rio Linda.]

The latest incident of a gang violence in Chicago did not help the cause.

[THAT'S RACIST!]

It'd be nice to see it hosted South America for a change. Brazil or Rio either one would be historic for South America.

[Yep, Brazil or Rio, either one.]

I blame the racisim of the tea baggers.

[They would have thrown tea bags into the Chicago River and turned it black.]

So none of the steroids and the blood doping with be in the US? Sounds good to me.

[The Paucity of Dope.}

We're like a married couple that no one wants to visit because while one spouse is a nice likable person, the other is a rude obnoxious a-hole. They won't come here because they'd rather not have to deal with our right wing lunatics.

[Lock the Republicans in the attic, and maybe somebody will come and visit us.]

Obama is an idiot! . . . I see more and more tone deafness. The bailouts are the biggest ($$$$$!) example. He can't seem to communicate with ordinary people and convince them that the government is not going to take over their health care, unionize all doctors within the SEIU, and make all the decisions in DC. And now this. How DARE he squander political capital on something that was so iffy, so that he appears to be weak and incompetent!

{Sorry, rayofreason, one comment like this gets you a Kewpie Doll, but two make you a . . . LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

WTG Brazil!!

[A Brazil nut checks in.]

Ironically, only people who would have benefitted from the Chicago Games would have been Republicans. Or as they're otherwise known, Chicago's "Democratic Machine", a cesspool of corruption and cronyism. . . .

[So Daley, Blago, Emanuel, Obama himself--they're all really REPUBLICANS???]

Ah, but do the wingnuts realize this?? Only a few days ago, this country WON the right to stage a major international sporting event. We're going to host the 2014 Gay Games right here in CLEVELAND!!!!!!

[WHOO-HOO!!! USA! USA! USA!]

And it's gonna be FABULOUS!!!!

[I can hardly wait for the Synchronized Swishing!]

I feel like i'm on crazy pills here. . . .

[Understandable.]

F*CK THE OLYMPICS!

[Coming to Cleveland, 2014.]

When it comes to selling America, the president is our greatest asset.

[Two letters too many there.]

International Sailing hates Lake Michigan. U.S. would dominate sailing events if they were on Lake Michigan.

[That's it! It's a Vast International Sailing Conspiracy! Barry got sailboated!]

I think many people underestimate the true value of the olympics. would we have ever had a butter Shawn Johnson, if it not have been for the olympics?

[D*mn! Obama's incompetence has COST us more butter gymnasts!]

37 Comments:

Anonymous Corona said...

Brazil or Rio either one would be historic for South America.

Oh I know someone who's gonna get a gold star on their forehead today!

3:46 PM  
Anonymous Anon 1:50 said...

The fix was in!

How could ANYONE possibly resist Ol' Wimpy McJugears and the First Yeti?

Throw in Oprah and Dick "Head" Durban, and this should have been a cakewalk!

Either ACORN didn't get to count the votes, or all of the IOC is raaaaaacist!

Shocking!

5:24 PM  
Blogger Beefeater said...

Mr. Obama, you were hired because you are black, you will be terminated because you are incompetent.

5:46 PM  
Blogger Conservative Mountaineer said...

Corona..

That's good.

8:18 PM  
Blogger Conservative Mountaineer said...

Corona..

That's good.

8:18 PM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

How DARE he squander political capital on something that was so iffy, so that he appears to be weak and incompetent. [DUmmie moron]

This latest fiasco occured because Obama is weak and incompetent. It's not a matter of appearance, it's a stark reality that we have to live with until January 2013. Losing the Olympics is a minor inconvenience, having our economy crash down around our heads is a major catastrophe.

The next fuck-up will be Obama's dealings with Iran. The clueless manchild is leading us on a downhill slide into WWIII. Someone's is going to get nuked in the next few years---any bets as to who it'll be?

11:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Off-topic, but I just visited DU and came across the following thread:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6689536

In it, they ravage an HOA treasurer for calling people who don't make their HOA payments deadbeats and kicking one out. The delicious irony is that if they changed "HOA" to "local government" and "HOA dues" to "property taxes" (or contributions to the local teachers' union) they would all be on board with kicking people out of their homes for nonpayment.

12:03 AM  
Anonymous 98ZJUSMC said...

heh, heh, heh.....

Yeah....in a few months, all the politicans in Chicago are gonna take off their masks and reveal that they are all.......

REPUBLICANS!

those basementdwellers really need to find a new pizza joint to order from. The congnative disconnect from reality is stupifying.

You have to experience "Chicago politics" to believe it. I left long time ago. Still have family scattered all over up there. Other than the Bears, I wish the whole toddlin town would slide into the lake. Sure make life better for us down here in deep Southern Illinois.

Some suprisingly lucid comments. Must be banned by now.......

2:23 AM  
Blogger PJ-Comix said...

The next fuck-up will be Obama's dealings with Iran. The clueless manchild is leading us on a downhill slide into WWIII.

Didn't you get the word? Andrea Mitchell told Chuck Todd that Obama that the Iran TALKS can already be counted as a victory for The One.

11:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I blame the racisim of the tea baggers.

Yessir, it was those "racist teabaggers" who beat that honor student to death, sure, and they paid all that under-the-table money to the IOC, uh-huh, and Oprah Winfrey blah blah blah.

This Olympics nonsense is a dumb diversion. I voted for Obama hoping for health care reform and and end to the wars. In my book, he's zero for two.

Why d'ya think we call him "Zero"? ;)

Seriously, I just came from Chicago a few weeks ago and didn't find it Olympics material. Plus the city (or whoever) doesn't need the extra debt that would have been incurred.

A.

3:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"ESPN Radio didn't miss a beat. Colin Cowherd: "Rough month for Obama. First health care, now this." This must be why KO left sports broadcasting."-DUmmie

Ooh if that were only true. Sunday night football is still seemlingly unaware of the skin rash that is KO.

"[Colin Cowherd is the Worst Person in the World.]"-PJ

PJ riff aside, Colin Cowherd can inspire enough eyerolls and groans in his audience for them to find out what else is on the radio. It often makes me wish Dennis Miller was on live where I live so I'd have more options.

4:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awesomely awesome butter sculpture picture PJ. Should I recognize who it is?

5:10 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Mr. Obama, you were hired because you are black, you will be terminated because you are incompetent." mad cow

Explain this, douche bag.

He won't. Another pussy.

All we have here, on PJinc's illustrious website, is words. You're looking at them right now. So when someone writes words like Mr. Gin and Tonic up there, it awakens my curiosity. Why, you ask? Because it seems he wrote something just a little teeny tiny itsy bitsy...um...mini-racist. Didn't he? Does it ever occur to you dandelions to wonder about stuff like this?

Never mind. Forget I, troglaman, asked.

But I could be wrong. Sometimes you fuckers seem like you're from another planet. You speak code. beefeater could be talking about his desire to cover the butter statue in cheese and and gravy and eat the bitch for all I know.

2:37 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Seriously, I just came from Chicago a few weeks ago and didn't find it Olympics material." allium

Jesus. Thanks for the update. Maybe you could give us all a little mini-course in what's "Olympics material" and what isn't.

You're a bombastic little bulb, Mister.

2:55 AM  
Blogger elpolacko said...

shame on you for the dumb "swishing" comment on the gay games..cheap shots from dummies are what i thought you make fun of. maybe it's true that we are what we hate.

3:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

elpolacko I'd like to respond to your comment with a quote.

"I think so little of the variations in human sexuality that I refuse to treat you like a Fagrege' egg. You are part of the human collective. Come, join our reindeer games. You too can be poked fun at. And that goes for the whole spectrum of special interest groups out there wandering the freakazoid Serengeti Plain."
Dennis Miller, 1995
(before he figured out he was a conservative/libertarian hybrid)

10:40 AM  
Blogger Beefeater said...

troglaman said...
"Mr. Obama, you were hired because you are black, you will be terminated because you are incompetent." mad cow

Explain this, douche bag.


Whenever I have hired an "Affirmative Action" (AA) employee to meet my government mandated quota, I have invariably had to terminate them. To make them feel better I always explain the situation that way. I think it's always better to be honest with them. Wouldn't you agree?

11:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I refuse to treat you like a Fagrege' egg."

Oops, make that "Fabrege' egg".

11:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, "Fagrege" works better in this case...

A. Nathema

11:00 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Come, join our reindeer games." anon

Sorry. Can't do it. Something about the "reindeer games" thing is fucking creepy.

1:02 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Whenever I have hired an "Affirmative Action" (AA) employee to meet my government mandated quota, I have invariably had to terminate them." mad cow

"To make them feel better I always explain the situation that way. I think it's always better to be honest with them. Wouldn't you agree?" mad cow

beefeater refers to 'them' three times in three sentences and doesn't even know what an extreme fuck up he is.

You have the guts to explain to us all who THEY are, fuckhead?

1:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

troglaman said...
"You have the guts to explain to us all who THEY are, fuckhead?"

Creepy blog trolls for whom decorum is a mystery? I've never had a problem handing them a cardboard box and informing them "your services are no longer required".

2:37 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

It would be better, anon, if you just answered.

Who are 'them"?

3:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It would be better, anon, if you just answered.

Of course it would be, since we're all beholden to you, piltdownman, to answer every question you ask.

Ignorant narcissistic toe rag. Go fuck yourself.

A.

7:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

troglaman said...
"Who are 'them"?"

I did answer you but it never seems to matter. I'll even expand on it for you since you're looking for something sinister that isn't there.

In addition to "creepy blog trolls for whom decorum is a mystery" I'll add; neer-do-wells who think the world owes them a living, and those who look to other to get employment for them and therefore have no developed sense of responsibility to retain their position.

What did you think "A" meant by it?

1:26 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"I did answer you but it never seems to matter." anon

No you didn't. Who are "them"? Let me remind you of what got this started.

"I have invariably had to terminate THEM...To make THEM feel better I always explain the situation that way. I think it's always better to be honest with THEM. Wouldn't you agree?" mad cow (beefeater)

Be objective, anon. Who does beefeater mean as 'them'?

I'm calling you out, asshole. Who does beefeater mean as 'them'?

2:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

troglaman said...
"No you didn't. Who are "them"? Let me remind you of what got this started."

I certainly did, twice.


"Be objective, anon. Who does beefeater mean as 'them'?
I'm calling you out, asshole. Who does beefeater mean as 'them'?"

I'm sure I don't know beefeater but it still seems you're looking for some conspiratorial answer that probably isn't ther. I'm certain you sincerely WANT there to be some horrible definition with which you can beat him over the head but you're probably out of luck.

I know! Why don't you just make something up. That should please you.

2:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"isn't there", pardon.

2:48 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"I'm sure I don't know beefeater but it still seems you're looking for some conspiratorial answer that probably isn't ther" dumbfuck anon

No.

"I have invariably had to terminate THEM...To make THEM feel better I always explain the situation that way. I think it's always better to be honest with THEM. Wouldn't you agree?" mad cow (beefeater)

I, troglaman, am not talking about a conspiracy. I'm wondering who beefeater is referring to as 'them'. These are beefeater's words, not mine. And he won't explain them. When or if he does, I'll let my inner-homo free and anon will take it up poop shoot. Hard. Simple as that.

But anon's a chicken shit. It won't happen and I, troglaman, will have to restrain my inner-homo once again (the selfish fembot deserves the pain).

I'll save him for a rainy day.

1:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I'm wondering who beefeater is referring to as 'them'. These are beefeater's words, not mine. And he won't explain them. When or if he does, I'll let my inner-homo free and anon will take it up poop shoot. Hard. Simple as that."

You're all over the map here. Are you talking about "beefeater" or "anon"? Clarify your threats and you won't look so silly.

10:18 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Clarify your threats" anon

Yes. A perfect description of your position.

Ready? I, troglaman, am on your side.

2:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

troglaman said...
"Yes. A perfect description of your position.
Ready? I, troglaman, am on your side."
2:59 AM

You're still not being clear with whom you're threatening with this quote:

"When or if he does, I'll let my inner-homo free and anon will take it up poop shoot. Hard. Simple as that.

Unsurprisingly your 2:59am quote doesn't even make sense. I suggest you rent Schoolhouse Rock and come back when you are a little better at sentence structure.

12:43 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Unsurprisingly your 2:59am quote doesn't even make sense." it's all about time zones fuckface

It's 11:59 here...sooooo late.

2:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

troglaman said...
"It's 11:59 here...sooooo late."

How does my mentioning the time stamp of your comment merit this odd response? Do time zones concern you that much?

3:06 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

Notice how none of you chicken-shits gave me an answer about "them"?

I, troglaman, did.

Let's try one more time...here's the quote:

"I have invariably had to terminate THEM...To make THEM feel better I always explain the situation that way. I think it's always better to be honest with THEM. Wouldn't you agree?" mad cow (beefeater)

Look at this as an literary exercise. Who are "them"? It's a simple question but yet none of you descendants of early hominids are capable of answering it. Hmmmm. Does this mean I, troglaman, am on the inside track of the evolutionary race to enlightenment?

Why yes. Yes it does. Last I looked, the hippos were in second place.

2:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Easy there Sparky.

Read the thread again. I answered you twice. Not getting the answer you're fishing for doesn't mean you didn't get an answer.

8:11 PM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

Mr. Obama, you were hired because you are black, you will be terminated because you are incompetent.

6:01 PM  

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