Friday, September 25, 2009

"Freeper Encounter Just Now at My Local Walgreen's!"

One of the recurring thread-types we have chronicled here at the DUmmie FUnnies over the last five years is the "My Encounter With A Freeper" thread. In a MEWAF thread, the DUmmie recounts an incident in which he or she either 1) converted the Freeper, 2) put down the Freeper, or simply 3) experienced bizarre boorish behavior from the Freeper. This latter subtype--a "MEWAF-III," as we call it in the trade--is what we are dealing with here today, a Freeper Encounter of the Third Kind.

It should be noted, MEWAF threads may be more or less fictionalized to make the DUmmie look good and the Freeper bad. The "crazed," "angry" behavior of the Freeper in the story may be just a case of DUmmie projection. BTW, you can always expect MEWAF threads around Thanksgiving time, when DUmmies reluctantly have to deal with their normal relatives around the dinner table.

With that background, then, we move to today's THREAD, "Freeper Encounter Just Now at My Local Walgreen's!" DUmmie romantico relates the experience of encountering a crazed, angry, female Freeper in a parking lot. The Freeper in question had an Obama Joker bumper sticker on her car, and DUmmie romantico's reaction was the match that lit the fuse. So let us now go over to the parking lot for this MEWAF story and the subsequent DUmmie comments, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--like Charles Walgreen, a Swedish-American Republican from Chicago--Charles Henrickson, who sometimes overhears DUmocrats in the coffee shops but usually resists the temptation for debate and an easy kill, is in the [brackets]:

Freeper Encounter Just Now at My Local Walgreen's!

[MEWAF Alert! Incoming!]

OK,I am in shock. I have in the past encountered freepers at work and even in my own family at holiday get togethers. However, NOTHING compares to what just happened to me.This just happened about a half an hour ago. I am not exaggerating or embellishing this at all.This is EXACTLY what happened.

[Translation: Highly fictionalized story coming up. Do tell, DUmmie romantico.]

As I got out the driver from the other car got out as well.I noticed a bumper sticker on her car of Obama as the joker with the words SOCIALIST on it. . . . I glanced down, never looking at the driver, and I just smirked. THAT WAS ALL I DID.

[Other than keying her car.]

Well, the driver,this soccer Mom, saw my smirk and just went off on me.She started in on this rant about Obama and socialism and how liberals are destroying the country and so on. Having said that,this woman who I describe as a Soccer Mom in her mid to late 30's called me something I had never been called before,especially by a woman. She called me the C word (???)


She said the C word 4 times.

[You must have been parked in the C-section.]

The entire rant lasted about 20 seconds and I at first ignored her and started walking to the entrance.I then said to her to SHUT UP!


What would she have done if I had a Pro Obama sticker on my car?


All I could think of was to tell her to shut up in which she responded, "WE WON'T BE SILENCED!!!"


I had only been awake for about 20 minutes or so, no coffee and like I said,who freaks out over just a smirk?

[You DUmmies did. Remember all those "Smirking Chimp" remarks about President Bush?]

I mentioned it to the clerk inside and he just shrugged his shoulders.

[He was thinking, "Not another whiny Democrat!"]

I assumed she had the sticker on her car as a way to express herself and her views. I smirked and found it amusing and also disgusting and she freaked out.

[Especially when I slashed her tires.]

I am more terrified of these nuts than I am any foreign terrorist.

[They might be suicide bumpers. . . . Now the other DUmmies chime in . . .]

maybe she was an intoxicated driver.

[Nope. The Kennedys are all Democrats.]

Or heading into the drug store for her meds.

[DUmmie projection, notice.]

Yeah, sounds like a meth soccer mom.

[The New Meth. . . . Back to DUmmie romantico . . .]

she was rabid. I know that sounds a bit dramatic but she was beat red. . . .

[Boy, that's worse than being beet red.]

she was beat red. . . .

[And you are Bolshevik Red.]

Don't let it ruin your day. Make yourself a super-delicious breakfast and play some music.

[Tofu waffles and the Internationale! What a way to start the day!]

I have MANY, VERY good friends who are Rs, and to some degree share these sentiments. . . . But, again, friends are friends.


I will never, ever understand right-wing wackaloons.

[Try starting here: A limited federal government, with few and specifically enumerated powers. That's the main point of that thing called the Constitution. Think about it. Then think about the armed robbery that is mandatory wealth redistribution (socialism) vs. voluntary charitable giving. Think on these things, and soon you will be a right-wing wackaloon too.]

you were right to say nothing. . . . The best thing is to play dumb. . . .

[Not a stretch for your average DUmmie.]

Next time take a deep breath . . .

[. . . on your joint. . . .]

Expect the worst from RWers. I keep a peace keeper in the trunk these days.

[I thought you guys were for gun control??]

"WE WON'T BE SILENCED!!!" Yes, yes they will.

[Fascism much?]

This is an example Of why they make those little cans of MACE you can attach to your car keys.

[MACE: When you can't think of a snappy comeback.]

The C word???

["Chimp," as in "Smirking Chimp"?]

this woman sounds like she has serious problems. She's been dittoed to death, Becked to bits and royally Foxed up.

[As opposed to being Olbotomized, Garofaloed, and coming down with Maddow Disease.]

That's not the C word she called me. She called me a word I NEVER use. . . . A word that starts with C and ends with T.

["Cat"? She called you a cat?]

why would she assume just because I smirked that I was disagreeing with her. . . . For her to assume I was a liberal just because I smirked is confusing.

[It may have been your body piercings, purple hair, and pungent aroma that gave you away as a lefty.]

what's say I rustle up Skittles and we kick her ass for you

[So says DUmmie CatWoman, who enjoys being called the C word.]

It's like arguing with a dining room table - Barney Frank

[I like arousing a dining room table leg - Barney Frank]

i was verbally put upon by an anti-abortionist while registering voters during the campaign. he essentially said obama wanted to murder babies, but what i remember the most is how his face was red with rage. . . . i don't get what drives these hateful people.

[Maybe they're opposed to murdering babies. Just a thought.]

When encountered with the bat shit crazy people of the world, I call upon my earliest days in the theatre where we used mirroring exercises... you ain't seen bat shit crazy 'till you've seen my impersonation! LOL! Plus, I've had vocal training and can project my voice with astounding volume and clarity. . . .

[Me, me, me! Look at MEEEE!!!!!]

Remember the old scout motto: "Be Prepared"

[Remember the old Democrat motto: "Key Their Car."]

just dismiss her with a regal flick of your hand and walk away.


I just usually respond to people like this, by looking at them and making the sound of a crow. CAW! CAW! CAW! CAW! CAW! . . . Then I pepper spray them and try to get them to chase me across a busy street. My friends call me the "Spicy Crow".

["How to Win Friends and Influence People, and Pepper Spray Them," by Spicy Crow.]

These people scare the sh*t out of me.


Yeah, she threw in the F word also but it was the C word that shocked me.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dummie "Cat" said:
"Well, the driver,this soccer Mom, saw my smirk and just went off on me.She started in on this rant about Obama and socialism and how liberals are destroying the country and so on. Having said that,this woman who I describe as a Soccer Mom in her mid to late 30's called me something I had never been called before,especially by a woman. She called me the C word (???)"

Why did she leave the part out where the scene becomes all wavy before the event, has a cheesecloth glow during, and ends with another wavy screenshot? That's always the best part about made up memories. Sitcoms have shown us the way!

4:53 PM  
Anonymous mudman said...

I still like 'Communist' for the C--t word.

6:09 PM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

Hmmm....let me take a stab at this. Dummie, Cword....I'd say cuckoo.

8:07 PM  
Anonymous lonevoice said...

That wasn't a good war story. Libs always screw things up...

Good one's always start with: "No sh*t, this really happened!!! There I was, pinned down in a deadly hail of guns-and-God clingin' fire..."

Get it right, you maroons!!!

8:45 PM  
Blogger Mr. Right said...

C-------t = Communist
The "F" word = Fascist

Place your wagers...

11:18 PM  
Anonymous Kirk Johnson said...

<< That wasn't a good war story. Libs always screw things up...

Good one's always start with: "No sh*t, this really happened!!! There I was, pinned down in a deadly hail of guns-and-God clingin' fire..." >>

Unfortunately, DUmmie stories always end with something like, "And it turned out, it was my mom!!!"

12:52 AM  
Anonymous Corona said...

[MACE: When you can't think of a snappy comeback.]

Heh. Those cretins are too far gone to grasp the concepts of Al Jaffee.

7:32 AM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

"Expect the worse from RWs. I keep a peace keeper in the trunk these days."

"Then I pepper spray them and try to get them to chase me across a busy street."

More fantasy and fiction from the cellar dwellers. They sound like junior high kids swapping brags to impress one another.

1:09 PM  
Anonymous Krazy Kat said...

I read a lots of blogs, left wing and right wing; but it's only the DUmmies that have nosiy, agressive confrontations with people holding opposing points of view. No matter where they go, DUmmies encounter raging soccer moms, reactionary store clerks, freeper bar flies, demented fundamentalists, right wing uncles and TVs blaring
Fox News.

Maybe it's just their Creative Writing 101 class paper or one bong hit too many.

2:13 PM  
Blogger cj said...

I guess those T-shirts worn by the oh-so-stable liberal crowd using the "c" word to refer to Governor Palin also shocked this woman???

Right, and I'm Little Bo Peep...


7:04 PM  
Blogger yoyo said...

So all those size XXXXL members of the Teabagging community, with their poorly written "Obama = musloom terorist witchdoctor" signs are the peak of American society. Perhaps we should ask the two dead cops killed by the Beckian wannabee why progressives are right to be concerned about unhinged freeper rage, or the family of the Universal pastor? After all it's so nice to be accosted by scared fool spurred on by a rich entertainer who wants to abolish the Federal reserve and public education and tells people there are internments camps set up for their children.

1:47 AM  
Anonymous Corona said...

Retard in Aisle 5.

8:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You may be more right than you know Corona. This "yoyo" character taking dictation from his talking points e-mail-o-the-week could be mentally touched but I like to look on the bright side.

It could be that if we tweak him or her just right, then he or she just might get as purple-faced angry as troglaman and stick around for a while. Then we'll all have a good laugh and everybody wins!

2:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"could be mentally touched"

Not "could be." "Is."

The Observer

3:31 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Get it right, you maroons!!!" lonevoice

OK, listen dumbshits, it's MORONS. M. O. R. O. N. S.

Not morans. Not maroons. Morons.

Glad I could help.

2:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Glad I could help."

The next time you help will be the first time. Didn't you ever watch Bugs Bunny as a kid?

10:58 AM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...


"Maroons" is the right word. Anon 10:58AM calls it; it's a Bugs Bunny thing, you wouldn't understand.

12:42 PM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

Yeah, tman, we use that expression (maroon) all the time. That tells me what I've always suspected. You just glance over anything we post and cherry pick what you want to whine and rant about. You're nothing but a big dope; and that's spelled d.o.p.e.

5:39 PM  
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