Wednesday, February 04, 2009

DUmmie Claims Son Got Rich Playing Seminole Hard Rock Blackjack


Right up front I'm calling BS on this DUmmie FAIRY TALE about how his son got rich playing blackjack at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, FL (our Hollywood is actually more glamorous than that "other" Hollywood"). The title of DUmmie Billy Burnett's fantasy is "My son lost his job 4 months ago. Now, unemployed, makes more money than you can shake a stick at." And not only your humble correspondent is calling BS on his improbably story but even a lot of DUmmies are calling BS on it. Why? How about because his son's blackjack "system" consists of nothing. But first, before we see his son's laughable blackjack method for winning a little background on the Seminole Hard Rock Casino Hollywood. First of all, the Seminole Hard Rock Casino Hollywood shouldn't be confused with the nearby Seminole Casino Hollywood. The former is the ultra-glamorous casino and hotel (and restaurants and lots of other stuff) that you can see in the picture above and opened 5 years ago. The latter is just down the street and is the BIRTHPLACE of all Indian gambling ventures in the nation. Yes, 30 years ago Seminole bingo opened there and, after lengthy court battles, established the right of Indians to operate gambling ventures. However, nowadays, that shrine to Indian gambling, although located in a massive building which now includes almost all kinds of gambling, has become somewhat seedy. However, my wife and I actually prefer it. Why? In order to lure people away from the nearby Seminole Hard Rock Casino Hollywood, the seedy elder brother offers an incredible buffet. Really fantastic prime rib. However, the clientele are real dregs. Most of them never even leave tips at the buffet despite the great deal (all you can eat for 6 bucks). Meanwhile the Seminole Hard Rock Casino is like a theme park for casinos. A very fun place which I recommend to everyone who visits South Florida. Okay, enough with the Seminole casino descriptions so let us now watch DUmmie Billy Burnett spin blackjack fantasy in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who enjoyed a Seminole casino prime rib buffet just this past Saturday, is in the [brackets]:


My son lost his job 4 months ago. Now, unemployed, makes more money than you can shake a stick at.

[Better forward this thread to the new Treasury Secretary so he can pay his taxes.]

How?

[We're on the edge of our seats.]

Blackjack. Seminole Hard Rock Casino.

[The world awaits details about his incredible blackjack system.]

Lives in Hollywood Fl. He was in a panic over the job loss. Smart youngster (mid 30's). Goes to the casino early every morning when no one is there. Plays one on one w/the dealer. Plays until he loses 1 hand then walks. Goes straight to the bank and deposits his winnings. Rinse repeat 1x to 4x per day.

[That's it? And what happens if he LOSES 5 times in a row? Oh, he somehow only wins until that one unfortunate loss. That's his "system?"]

Unemployed. He made $40,000 in January (right in line with his per month earnings winnings from the previous 3 months).

[BS detectors are sounding loud alarms.]

This is making his mother happy. It's freaking me out.

[And now we shall see that even his fellow DUmmies are not buying into this fairy tale...]

He's fine, until that first time he plays "just one more" after he loses the first time.

[And often that first time loss will occur on the first five hands in a row.]

He just bought a new MB SCL500 yesterday.

[Did he also buy some meds to suppress his fantasies?]

Y'know, this is the red flag for me here. I don't know you or your son, and I'm sure I'm out of line. But the guy's unemployed and he goes out and buys a $100K car? Something's not right. Maybe it's just his judgment that's off and he really is raking it in from the casino. But, really, think about it.

[This whole fantasy had a red flag for me from the get-go.]

Y'know, this is the red flag for me here. I don't know you or your son, and I'm sure I'm out of line. But the guy's unemployed and he goes out and buys a $100K car? Something's not right. Maybe it's just his judgment that's off and he really is raking it in from the casino. But, really, think about it.

[I BEEEEEEEELEEEEEEVE!!!]

wow...i want your son's luck. far be it for me to judge, but shouldn't he try to save some of it instead of burning it on a lavish, rapidly depreciating asset?

[The car is as real as the blackjack fantasy.]

Make sure he pays taxes.

[Yes, he could be appointed to the Obama cabinet.]

He goes into the casino w/a $200 roll. Walks out if he loses that. Comes back later in the day and wins $5,000. On average he spends no more than 10 hours a week playing. Then he goes fishing for the rest of his time.

[Wins 5000 bucks on just a few hands by betting $200. Oh, and only by spending 10 hours per week on this fantasy.]

I suspect the son's run of luck won't last very much longer.

[I suspect your fantasy won't last much longer under even the most minor of scrutiny.]

Blackjack is one of the few games where the house edge can be eroded to nothing by a smart disciplined player. They can ask you to either play any other game in the establishment or leave the premises.

[Think about how DUmb DUmmie Billy Burnett would be for posting this story out in the open...assuming it's true which is a mighty big assumption.]

And what happens if he loses his first hand, and I don't mean "one" hand I mean the first hand immediately after he sits down? I have played a lot of blackjack, and many times I've lost the first 7 out of 10 hands dealt. What's he playing $25 minimum? $100 minimum? If he made $40 grand in January, I'm quitting my job tomorrow and going to hang out with your son. He's a hell of a player.

[A DUmmie calls BS on this fantasy.]

This is the first thing I've ever heard that made me get interested in gambling. Can someone explain to me why we aren't all doing this?

[Nothing stopping you. Just go out and earn $40,000 following this simple system. Hee! Hee!]

Well, there you go. Economic problems solved. We now have a plan.

[Obama should place this blackjack "system" at the center of his stimulus package.]

Something doesn't sound right about this story

[Starting with the first word and ending with the final period.]

I'm sorry, I have a problem believing this. NOBODY makes $40,000 a month playing cards. NOBODY. Not consistently, not for long, not with six decks. The odds are stacked against the player. I've known many people who claimed to be making a ton of money at the casino. Turns out they were all lying. One guy finally admitted he only comes out a few hundred bucks a year ahead. Another guy ended up losing his house.

[We're only $400 ahead after over a year and happy for that. We think of it as scoring lots of freebie prime rib buffets.]

He called home last night to tell his mother that she shouldn't worry about his new vocation - also asking about tax accountants. He told her that he knows he is lucky and that he is humbled by the experience of the last 4 months. He has socked away his earnings (aside from the new car) knowing that it can't last. He has a system.

[DUmmie Billy Burnett attempts to shore up his rapidly crumbling story.]

The ONLY way he's making that much money is dealing drugs or trafficking something heinous.

[Like Obama cabinet hopefuls pay for play.]

What a disgusting allegation. Stick it where the sun don't shine. OK?

[Getting a bit testy, aren't we, DUmmie Billy Burnett.]

Do the math, somethings wrong. Suppose he is starting with $200 and "making" $40,000 in a month. 30 days, that's roughly $1300 per day on a stake of $200. That's a return of over 600%, day after day, month after month. Even if he is counting cards and doing a few other marginally legal things, he'd be doing well to play at about 52%. We can suppose he's only making 4 grand a month. Then we are talking about only winning 130 bucks per day with a $200 stake. That'd make a tad more sense, only a tad more but he is suggesting he's winning about 60%. If he's doing anything, he's getting supremely lucky. He's limiting his down side and currently is making one or two smart bets a week that cover for an awful lot of break even/loss days. But the gamblers fallicy kicks in sooner or later. The house has "unlimited" deep pockets, and can sustain their losses for much longer than your son. Furthermore, they can "limit" his winnings (max bets etc). It won't take many "bad" days to burn through $4000 a month. All in all I think I'd go with him some day and see what's up.

[Howling at the full moon. That's what's up.]

For example... he said he won about $20,000 yesterday morning. Will take a few days off. I don't know how he does it, I'm busy working an honest job for comparative peanuts, but when I get back from the road I will be going w/him to see for myself.

[BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This blackjack fantasy gets FUnnier and FUnnier! Yeah, his son just cleared $20,000 with a $200 roll...and just in the morning hours alone.]

It astonishes me the casino has not kicked him out yet. Something doesn't add up. The best counters I've run across have walked away after winning just 200 or 300 dollars a day. They know if they won even more than that, they would be painting a target on themselves for getting kicked out at the casinos I'm familiar with.

[And yet the Seminole Hard Rock Casino lets this DUmmie's son just walk away with $20,000 hours that he won in the morning hours alone using a $200 bankroll.]

Sounds like he's doing "something else" and lying to his Mom. I hate to be so honest, but that's how it looks.

[It sounds better than admitting that he is dealing crack to his dad.]

Ding ding ding! Just based on what I'm reading on this thread, it doesn't sound right.

[This revelation is way too obvious to earn you a Kewpie Doll.]

Even if the story is true, anyone who consistently wins at the same game at the same casino is going to be assumed to be cheating. Nobody, but nobody can beat the house odds that often.

[In real life this DUmmies son isn't even winning enough to buy himself a prime rib buffet just down the street.]

I'm not an advocate of gambling. I was opposed to the Fla lottery, and to Indian Casino gambling. I am not pleased at the inequity of gambling and the money it leaches from an economy. His winning of so much has defeated so much of the reasoning I used to dish out about the evils of gambling when he was a youngster. I'm kind of pissed.

[You'll be even more pissed when you find out that your son's story is utter BS and you made a complete fool of yourself by repeating in DUmmieland like it was really true.]

Hope he's putting away the tax money he'll owe on that.

[Why? Does he think Obama will appoint him to become Gambling Czar?]

Here is the problem with this story. If anyone consistently wins at any casino the casino will know there is something amiss in a jiffy. Cameras are everywhere. The person who accomplished this would find themselves with two thugs dressed in suits one on each arm being escorted out the nearest door western style. And then they will not let you back in any more.

[You mean they won't sit idly by as you win $20,000 with a $200 bankroll in the morning hours?]

Don't know what to say about the negative reactions by DUers. I don't like gambling. Don't like that he's "earning" money in this way. He's his own man now, and he know it most likely won't last long. What I do know is that if he says he's winning big in this way I know it's true - one thing he's not is a bullshitter/liar.

[Not my little sonny boy! He would NEVER lie about winning $20,000 with a $200 bankroll in the morning hours alone. I BEEEEEELEEEEEEVE!!!]

The dealers are going to start noticing him, though, being there that long. So I question his ability to continue much longer if this is what he's doing. Maybe altering shifts and only playing a few days a week he's getting away with it longer.

[You mean you can't fly under the radar while winning $20,000 with a $200 bankroll in the morning hours alone?]

The math has big problems with this story. Something else is happening here.

[I think it is called spinning BS on a big scale.]

Go with him. A few of us do not believe this is possible and that this is actually a cover story your son has come up with. Instead of simply ignoring these warnings, go and see for yourself. Remember you said you are being freaked out -- deep down, you know something is wrong with this story.

[Gee, what could possibly be wrong with this story?]

There is no way this is true. Either it's completely made up or
this kid isn't telling his parents the truth about where he's getting all that money.

[This story has all the credibility of a Pied Piper Pitt journalistic scoop.]

I don't think anyone is trying to hurt your feelings, but those of us who know problem gamblers are picking up the clues in this story. Again, I hope your son is truly the luckiest/smartest/most scientific card player there is. I really do.

[His son will prove his story to be true in just 24 business hours.]

Hate to break this to you, but your son is lying to you... Sorry. He's getting the money some other way. I know he's your son and you want to believe him. But he's lying to you.

[Perhaps the journalistic team of Leopold & Lib can get to the bottom of this story.]

Billy - I have to add my voice to the skeptics. I don't know you or your son. Calling him a liar is so rude it's beyond measure. BUT - this is so outlandish that I hope you'll dig further and find out if your son is in trouble.

[We need Pied Piper Pitt to teach him the proper investigative techniques.]

He's either peddling his ass or selling coke

[Is this DUmmie's son named Ben Burch?]

Being a high-end rentboy is GREAT work. You get to choose your clients, the pay is great and no need to do risky scenes. Of course, it is not an easy to get into and requires considerable physical assets...

[DUmmieland is THE authoritative place to go to get info about high-end rentboys.]

South Florida is full of people who like to claim they make an ongoing income at the casino, but that lie will ONLY fly with people who do not understand casino gambling very well.

[Yeah, that's what I heard from my friend Hector II until I saw him and his wife selling their household belongings on a blue tarp at the Swap Shop.]

my bullshit meter just went through the roof

[Whenever you hear an Obama cabinet appointee explain why they didn't pay their taxes? ...Well, I sure hope there is a followup to this thread so we can find out what was REALLY going on with DUmmie Billy Burnett's son.]

40 Comments:

Anonymous Shambhala said...

"The ONLY way he's making that much money is dealing drugs or trafficking something heinous"

Whoa! A DUmmie with a clue. Look up gents, a meteor will probably hit the Earth today.

11:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hehehehe; He said, "Heinous".

Which rhymes with any number of things.

1:28 PM  
Anonymous Icarus said...

The fact that the majority of the DUmmies actually believe this silliness is all you need to know about DUmmieland.

It's a mathematical impossibility - and its easy to figure that out.

It's also a logical impossibility - no casino lets a player consistently win approximately a half million per year. They will always ask you - politely - to take your gaming elsewhere.

How inanely stupid.

1:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Icarus said: "How inanely stupid."

You just succinctly described the whole of DUmmieLand to a tee.

Oh, and Trog too.

3:21 PM  
Blogger Tazzerman said...

I can't add much here other than to point out that there is no such THING as a MB SCL500

There is an SL500 and there is a CL500 but there is no such THING as an SLC500. Sorry.. Doesn't exist.

There is a CLS500 but its never refered to as that. Just C500.

These idiots can't even get the car make right. LOL!

What a load of complete and total horseshit. :) -tm

5:29 PM  
Anonymous Smitty said...

Has there been a rash of bank robberies in Florida lately?

9:02 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

Why do you herd animals care?

That's a good question if you think about it...which you won't.

12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Someone "cared" enough to write this trash. What's it to you if PJ decides to provide commentary? Afterall, you read it too.

9:02 AM  
Anonymous Ray said...

"Why do you herd animals care?"

Which begs the question: Just why are you here, trog?

9:08 AM  
Anonymous Kirk Johnson said...

LOL, I actually read Trog's comment as an inquiry regarding another poster's hobby of herding animals.

Come to think of it, it *does* make more sense that way...

1:53 PM  
Blogger Corona said...

I herd an animal once. Kinda noisy.

2:36 PM  
Anonymous elrond hubbard said...

T-man,

Why do you herd animals care?

Mooooo! One thing we certainly don't care about is your snarky opinions.

2:57 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Ray -

TROGLAMAN (The DUmmie FUnnies Official Anti-American Hate-Mongering Guttersnipe) is here spewing his vile in order not to go around in public and commit some heinous crime. We are the outlet for the blind senseless rage he has. Better he slam his head up his ass and annoy us than cause grevious harm and injury to some innocent bystander whose only crime might have been to annoy a maniacal fool - TROGLAMAN.

3:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You guys need to give poor troogy-boy a break. Masocism is a known mental disorder.
Yo, troggy-boy. Call me some nasty names now, OK?
Dang, gotta love that little tool.
Don't hold back troggy, give it a good college try. You can do it.
Were waiting troggy.

Skul

10:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you want to be truly disguisted, go look at this DUmmies thread:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3725362

11:10 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"TROGLAMAN (The DUmmie FUnnies Official Anti-American Hate-Mongering Guttersnipe) is here spewing his vile in order not to go around in public and commit some heinous crime. We are the outlet for the blind senseless rage he has." bring me a brandy, jerome

I have to admit I do hate you, jerome, you lickspittle. Know why? Because you never, ever do anything but call me a guttersnipe. And it's really pissing me off. I'm enraged. Blindly and senselessly off the charts enraged.

Other than that, you rarely add to the discussion. You just respond to personal taunts like a hormonal baboon. That's not a really big fuckin deal...except to you.

Instead of offering your incisive (and moronic) psychological profiles of a commenter (I, troglaman) you know absolutely nothing about, how about offering an opinion about, in this case, herd animals. I'm guessing you might have something valuable to contribute.

2:09 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

The reason you are called a guttersnipe, Troglaman, is that you are a guttersnipe.

If you don't like it, stop being a guttersnipe, you guttersnipe.

And the only reason you don't think I'm adding to discussions is you have your head rammed too far up your ass...guttersnipe.

3:26 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"The reason you are called a guttersnipe, Troglaman, is that you are a guttersnipe." jerome

How clever. Well the reason you're a lickspittle is because you ARE indeed a lickspittle. End of discussion.

So what would you like to add to the discussion, you dumbfuck? Oh wait...

"the Troglaman clones seem to not care one whit about the fact a baby was murdered." jerome + angel dust

You're fucking nuts, jerome. Sorry.

One word: Thorazine. Jump. On. That. Shit.

3:28 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

TROGLAMAN (The DUmmie FUnnies Official Anti-American Hate-Mongering Guttersnipe) slammed his head repeatedly up his ass producing an enormous pile of worthless mental excrement and the following barely intelligible comment:One word: Thorazine.

Well, that might explain your foaming-at-the-mouth blind hateful rage rants.

As to adding to the discussion, constantly trying to find excuses for murdering a baby in the name of "legalized" baby butchering is exactly what I expect from the Troglaman clones on the dump. Sadly, I was not disappointed to find I was, as usual, correct.

4:12 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

TROGLAMAN (The DUmmie FUnnies Official Anti-American Hate-Mongering Guttersnipe) slammed his head repeatedly up his ass producing an enormous pile of worthless mental excrement and the following barely intelligible comment:One word: Thorazine.

Well, that might explain your foaming-at-the-mouth blind hateful rage rants.

As to adding to the discussion, constantly trying to find excuses for murdering a baby in the name of "legalized" baby butchering is exactly what I expect from the Troglaman clones on the dump. Sadly, I was not disappointed to find I was, as usual, correct.

4:12 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"...wasn't trying to be tactful. Was trying to be as insulting...as possible." trog? nope. skully actually. props.

You don't have to post twice, jerome. We got it the first time.

What does PJ Inc's post have to do with murdering babies? What's the connection?

There isn't any. But you take it there anyway, dumbass. And you're like fucking proud of the departure. Whatever.

Thorazine helps people that depart from reality.

Jump. That. Shit.

Now. Before it's too late. Your family, I'm sure, would be relieved.

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