Mormon Hate Reaches Fever Pitch In DUmmieland
The Democrats won the White House and gained seats in both houses of Congress in the past election. So do you think the DUmmies would be happy? As it turns out they are angrier than ever. Why? Well, among other thngs, because Propositon 8 in California passed. WAAAAAAAH!!!! They didn't get a hundred percent of what they wanted and now they are crying like a bunch of babies. And who is the scapegoat for their defeat on Prop. 8? It turns out it is the Mormons as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "I had 2 Mormons knock at my door yesterday." We already had a heads up over this animosity towards the Mormons in this VIDEO produced by the anti-Prop 8 clowns during the campaign and since it failed to pass, their animosity towards Mormons has grown even stronger. So let us now watch the DUmmies attack the Mormons in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thinking that "Attack of the Mormon Missionaries!!!" ad is so stupid as to be campy, is in the [brackets]:
I had 2 Mormons knock at my door yesterday.
[You already got the joke wrong. It's supposed to start out this way: "A Mormon, a priest, and a rabbi knocked on my door."]
I let them talk for about a minute, and then I interrupted. I told them that I had read about a lot of religions including theirs.
[So you read the Book of Mormon? Liar! You probably didn't even read the Bible and I know damn well you never read the Koran since it is impossible to understand.]
I had considered it one of the many of the different religions in this country. I told them I had had a big change of mind after the Prop 8 vote in CA.
[Again you lie. You never did like the Mormons from the get-go. You are just using them as the scapegoat for your Prop. 8 loss.]
I said since their religion had made it a point to get in my business, I was now going to do my best to get in theirs. I was going to start by writing God and everybody to ask that their tax exempt status be removed.
["Dear God. Even though I don't even believe in you, I am asking that you review the U.S. tax code and remove the exemption for Mormons. Sincerely yours. Another Deranged DUmmie."]
I also reported them to Homeland Security because I believed
they were trying to subvert the Constitution and turn America into a theocracy.
[I would have loved to have seen the Homeland Security person answering the phone. When you got done with your "report," he probably made a spinning motion with his finger next to his head.]
I also said that I had contacted a lawyer and the FBI to have any info about me removed from their genealogical project. I said I thought their claim to want to retroactively baptize people was a front to collect info for nefarious purposes. I wanted every syllable about me and my family removed from their records.
[Could we retroactively abort you?]
Then I told them to get their magic underwear wearing, gold plate believing, Osmond listening, Oz temple going, skinny necktie wearing selves off
my doorstep and never come back. If they did I would have them arrested for trespassing, and I was going to call local law enforcement right then to report them as weird looking, neat people who were spying on the city and might be up to no good. They should be checked to see if they had any gasoline and fertilizer residue on them.
[I sure hope there is no rule against Mormons beating the crap out of incredibly annoying offensive people. If there is such a rule, I would petition the Mormon leadership to make a special exemption in your case.]
At least I didn't cuss at them.
[How thoughtful. And now to hear from the other Mormon hating DUmmies...]
good for you, i'm tired of being nice to people like this when they sure as hell aren't nice to me or mine
[As if you were ever nice to Mormons.]
this is religious intolerance.
[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]
I feel the same way about the f*cking Dobsonites, and the right-wing pentecostal asshoes, and the Mormon f*cking church...
and the would be witch killer Reverend motherf*cking Muthee...
and Franklin f*cking Graham,
and Pat f*cking Robertson,
and the late Jerry f*cking Falwell,
and the execrable con artist who wrote "The Secret,"
and David trying-to-bring-back-Polio Kirby,
and John f*cking-the-memory-of-the-departed Edward,
and Sylvia the-f*cking-bloodsucker Browne,
and all their priests, and all their acolytes,
[and Charles the DUFU-writing-Lutheran-pastor Henrickson.]
LDS missionaries - the people who come to your door - are carefully vetted by the LDS church to make sure they adhere to church policies. It wouldn't make much sense to send out "subversives" to represent and attempt to spread the religion, after all
[More carefully vetted than LSD Barack Obama ever was.]
before I was married, I roommed with a "jack morman" - his brother was a BISHOP, albeit closeted. Once it became common knowledge, he was excommunicated. My roommate, by the way, was bisexual, and frequently moved in order to evade the dreaded knock at the door from the missionaries his mother would sic on him (he and I would hole up in his room with the coffee pot when we'd get a visit from the Mormans).
[Mer-MAN....Mer-MAN! (My favorite line from "Zoolander.")]
Is Fictional Writing Your New Hobby?
[A skeptical DUmmie who does not believe the Mormon encounter story of the original DUmmie.]
No shit, and it's not good fiction either. Completely unbelievable, even in the context of the traditional DU "damndest-thing-happened-to-me-aint-I-a-badass" story.
[Another skeptical DUmmie who does not believe the BS spouted by the original DUmmie.]
It's about time someone said something to those sactimonious bigots!
[How about if we say something to the chip-on-the-shoulder loons?]
Release the HOUNDS! You should have cussed them out. The prop 8 debacle removed what little tolerance I had for the mormon cult. War has been declared.
[You never had any tolerance for the Mormon "cult" to begin with.]
They've finally given up on me. They take one look at that four-foot high statue of Kwan Yin on the stoop, the Green Tara banner in my kitchen window, and the Tibetan prayer flags and they know I'm a lost cause and move on to easier pickings. All of which is good, because I'm way too pissed off to be polite to them after last week.
[And your rainbow colored Wiccan leather jockstrap was also quite a deal killer.]